How to lead a girl after the wedding night. Sex on the wedding night: ancient customs and modern traditions in different countries of the world. Patience and delicacy

The first day of the wedding has already come to an end. The bouquet is thrown, the cake is eaten, and the guests begin to disperse ... What awaits the young next? The most pleasant and mysterious is the wedding night. She can give amazing pleasure or ruin your whole life. From how tactfully, intelligently, tenderly and lovingly the spouses behave on this night, it will depend on whether happiness settles under their roof or not.

The wedding night. Brides, note to you

Of course, the newlyweds are excited and tense. The beautiful bride is especially nervous. And this is easy to explain, because, as a rule, for her this is really the first night of love. Of course, the girl is afraid of the unknown pain that should appear after the rupture of the hymen.

How is the first wedding night

A young husband should show maximum tact and attention so as not to inflict trauma on his beloved, primarily mental. Therefore, his sobriety is a prerequisite. The most important moment of this night is, of course, sexual intercourse, before which the young are very anxious.

Wedding night: helpful tips

1. Tenderness is a prerequisite. The girl during the first intimacy will be more bashful and shy, so the husband should be especially careful at this moment. Of course, a man should undress, both on the wedding night and on the thousandth. Hands may tremble with excitement, but a young husband is obliged to undress his wife gently, slowly, while caressing her.

2. Hygiene comes first. It is necessary to fulfill several simple requirements so as not to harm the health of your beloved during the first sexual intercourse in her life. We are now talking about the hygiene of the genitals, since when the hymen breaks, a wounded surface is formed, into which an infection can very easily be introduced.

3. Haste is good for catching fleas. Try not to rush, do everything slowly and carefully, only then everything will go smoothly.

Wedding night: where to spend it

Remember that this night is yours alone. Therefore, you should be alone in the apartment. Where to hold a significant event? It is possible in a hotel or in the country, if at home it is impossible to be alone. By the way, some hotels offer special rooms for honeymooners. Typically, the rent includes room decoration, breakfast and a bottle of champagne. If you are away from home, bring your essentials with you.

Wedding night: a list of important things

• Candles and incense sticks. These items can turn an ordinary room into a cozy love nest. Arrange beautifully pill candles, light incense sticks, and your room will be amazingly transformed.
• Camera. Most likely, you will want to take some intimate photos for yourself.
• Erotic lingerie. It must be worn on you, even if it seems to you that your young husband does not care. In an erotic thing, you will feel more relaxed and, of course, confident.

Conclusion

We hope that our tips will help you have an unforgettable wedding night.

Preparing for a wedding is the most exciting event for a girl. So many things you need to choose, think over and prepare that your head is spinning. Restaurant, dress, hairstyle, bouquet, guests - all this occupies your thoughts from morning to evening. You, for sure, have already flipped through dozens of thematic magazines and studied no less Internet sites, but you have not lost sight of another important point of the upcoming event? How about the wedding night? Are you ready to make it special and unforgettable, as it should be for a newlywed couple? We hope our tips will help you with this.

What to do on their wedding night

· Decide where exactly the merging of your souls and bodies in love will take place. Perhaps it will be a chic room for newlyweds in a hotel, where the attendants will take care of everything, or perhaps after the celebration you will return to your own apartment, where there should be an appropriate atmosphere that needs to be thought out. Turn your bedroom into a love nest, where there will be no room for bad moods or strangers. This night should be just for the two of you, so everything is in your hands.

· It is clear that both newly-made spouses are impatient to unpack the gifts and count the money presented for the wedding, but this activity is definitely not for the first wedding night. Do not spoil the romantic mood with materialistic moments. Keep your zeal for sexual pleasures and enjoyment of each other, not gifts from relatives and friends.

· You can create a romantic atmosphere without the notorious rose petals and candles. Of course, if that pleases you, then decorate your bedroom however you like, but first of all, take care of sexy underwear, in which your husband will contemplate you on this special night.

· An equally important item in planning the first wedding night should be the menu. Choose drinks at your discretion, chill them in advance. And as a snack, it is better to prefer seafood, since they are the best aphrodisiacs.

· You can relax after a busy day and relieve stress by taking a bath together. Candles, music, foam and aromatic oils - at your discretion.

· The first wedding night is the best time to remove the old prohibitions in sex and experiment with images and roles. Show your imagination, try on various erotic images and think over the scenario of an intimate game. This will make your sex especially memorable.

We live in the modern age, when the wedding night of newlyweds is almost always a convention. Many young people even before marriage enter into intimate relationships or even manage to live together for some time. But this is not a reason to neglect a special moment that symbolizes the transition to a new level of your relationship. Approach it responsibly and enthusiastically and discover the joy of sexual intimacy in a new way.

A thrilling time full of secrets, excitements and expectations. How to properly prepare yourself for a magical sacrament?

The first wedding night in Islam is a special time. A girl who has just left her parental home gets to know a man for the first time. She is humble and innocent. That is why the husband should be especially gentle and careful with her. The Prophet said that women are like flowers: they are beautiful, but their petals are delicate and fragile. A man should treat his wife on the first night like a delicate, vulnerable flower. What does Islam say about the sacrament? The first wedding night should begin with namaz. Beautifully dressed, anointed newlyweds, left alone, can treat each other with juice and sweets, and then separately perform two rak'ah prayers, asking Allah to fill their lives with happiness, love and abundance. Namaz, which carries a powerful psychological effect, will help the newlyweds to calm down and tune in the right way. The wedding night (Islam does not prohibit close relationships at this time, but does not insist on them) should be held in an atmosphere of tenderness. Naturally, if the night falls on the time of a woman's physiological days, then the intimacy should be postponed to another time.

Patience and delicacy

The husband should not undress his wife: this can greatly embarrass an innocent girl. It is better to take off your clothes behind the screen, and you can get rid of underwear in bed, under the covers. The first wedding night in Islam should take place in the dark: this way the newlywed will be less embarrassed, she will not be able to frighten the sight of a man whom she sees naked for the first time. A man should not be in a hurry, he should not act rudely. Tactlessness can lead to the fact that the bride will forever develop aversion to the sacrament of marriage. The first wedding night in Islam is an opportunity for a spouse to show affection, tenderness and tolerance inherent in a real man. In order to receive a lot later, a man must give more on the first night. When the young people go to bed, the husband should lay his hand on his wife's forehead and ask Allah to bless the marriage and its sacrament, send many children and give the spouses mutual love and understanding. After that, the young can start mutual caresses and love games. If a man is able and delicate, then the girl will gradually begin to relax, she will cease to be embarrassed, she will begin to bestow her husband with tenderness and affection. Do not rush to defloration: a rough act can cause vaginismus in a girl. This disease, which manifests itself in painful spasms of female organs, can permanently ruin the intimate side of a couple's life.

Guidance to relatives

In some families, it is customary to wait for the end of the wedding night at the door of the young, in order to be sure: the young is a virgin. This attitude can deeply hurt young people, especially the bride. This cannot be done. Islam prescribes not to spy on, not to spy on others. Waiting at the door and then showing the sheets is nothing more than a violation of the Qur'anic injunctions leading to haram. The first wedding night in Islam should forever remain a sacrament, the details of which are known only to two.

Each religion differs from the rest in the perception of a person's social and personal life. This includes the traditions of marriage.

The anticipation of the first wedding night by the newlyweds is an exciting moment of the wedding. Now they can know each other as husband and wife. The post-nuptial "ritual" is shrouded in many beliefs and customs, enshrined in the minds of believers.

The first wedding night in the Christian tradition

Christianity has built its own system of sacred dogmas that affect marriage. Although the majority of Christians in Russia have long been loyal to the immorality of some brides, the girl's chastity has always been held in high esteem. This idea is also common in the modern Christian world.

There is still a tradition in Christianity to send young people to the house of the groom immediately after the end of the wedding feast. There the next day a young family will receive guests.

The Orthodox faith does not force the observance of outdated customs (wooden flooring with bags instead of a bed with a mattress; seeing off the newlyweds to their home by a noisy crowd; newlyweds eating bread and chicken in the bedroom) associated with the first married night. The Orthodox pay great attention to preparing the place where the newlyweds will spend the first night.

The newlyweds are allowed to make a bed for the matchmaker, sisters or the groom's mother. Bridesmaids are not allowed, as they can envy the happiness of the young. Bed linen should be new, clean and ironed. After the sleeping place of the future spouses is prepared, it should be sprinkled with holy water and baptized. There may be icons in the room of the newlyweds. They do not need to be removed or covered with a cloth, as intimacy in marriage is not considered a sin.

The Orthodox Church recognizes legal and ecclesiastical unions of people. Christian priests say that only after the wedding, the newlyweds will learn the sacrament of marital intimacy. Therefore, it is carried out immediately after the official registration at the registry office or the next day after the wedding. Intimacy outside of spiritual marriage for deeply religious Christians is considered fornication, therefore the first wedding night should occur after the wedding in the church.

Intimate contact between spouses on the first night is impossible if the bride is menstruating on that day. On such days, the girl's body is considered unclean. Brides need to calculate in advance whether the wedding falls on "critical days", since during this period a woman is prohibited from attending church.

Left alone with each other, the wife, as a true Christian, must demonstrate her meekness and humility. To do this, she needs to take off her husband's shoes and ask permission to share the marriage bed with him. On this sacred night, spouses should be especially gentle and affectionate with each other.

The first wedding night in the Muslim tradition

Islam has its own wedding traditions. The last stage of nikah (the so-called marriage union among Muslims) is the first night of the newly made spouses. For Muslims, it occurs after the bride arrives at her husband's house with her belongings. The bulk of the bride's dowry is made up of countless pillows and blankets. A wedding night is impossible without a comfortable mattress and good bedding.

In the room where the husband and wife are, there should be no strangers, including animals. Lighting should be dim or completely absent, so that the newlyweds are less shy of each other. If the holy book of the Koran is kept in the room, it should be wrapped in a cloth or taken out. A man should not be in a hurry and be rude towards a young wife. First, a Muslim should invite his wife to try the dishes - sweets (for example, honey or halva), fruits or nuts, a legal drink () and spices.

Before intercourse, newlyweds need to fulfill several conditions for a happy and charitable family life. The groom should put his hand on the bride's forehead, say basmalu (a sacred common phrase among Muslims) and say a prayer. In it, a Muslim asks for blessings from Allah, who should give them a strong union, where there will be many children. Then it is advisable for the spouses to perform namaz (joint two-raka'at prayer) and again turn to the divine power with the question: “O Allah, bless me in relations with my wife (husband) and her (his) in relations with me. O Allah, affirm the good between us and in the event of separation, part us in a good way! " During lovemaking, the husband should be affectionate and gentle with his wife so that she can respond in kind.

In Islam, it is not forbidden to postpone the first marital intimacy to another time, but there must be good reasons for this: the bride's period, bad mood or well-being of the newlyweds, the recent acquaintance of the spouses.

In some families, relatives like to stand at the door of the young, to make sure that the girl is a virgin. Islam requires not to spy on or spy on people, since this is a violation of the instructions of the Koran. In the Islamic faith, there is another custom associated with the maiden honor of the bride: if the young wife was an innocent girl, then the spouse should spend seven nights with her. If the newly-made spouse was already married, then the man should stay with her for only three nights.

The first wedding night in the traditions of other religions

Religious principles about the first wedding night in other religions differ little from those that have already been listed. But there are still small differences.

In Buddhism, there is a custom to decorate the room luxuriously and brightly where the bride and groom spend their first night. Followers of the faith believe that such an environment has a positive effect on the mood of the newlyweds and is a good start to their colorful and prosperous life together. Fresh flowers are used to decorate the interior of the bedroom of the young. On their wedding night, spouses should be frank and relaxed, strive for mutual pleasure from the process.

In Judaism, it is generally accepted that the initiative to enter into sexual intercourse between young spouses should come only from the woman. Sex in this religion is not a simple entertainment and a way to satisfy instincts, but carries the sacred meaning of the union of the bodies and souls of lovers. So that the first wedding night for the newly-made Jewish family was really the first, all meetings of the young before the wedding take place only under the supervision of older relatives.

There is a custom that says that a man must read a prayer before fulfilling his marital duty. In it, he turns to the Lord with a request to grant him physical strength and an heir - a son. This prayer is repeated three times at the marriage bed.

Common traditions for all religions

There are certain traditions for the first marriage night, common to all religions. These include:

Ablution after intercourse

In all religions, it is strongly recommended to wash the genitals immediately after an intimate act or rinse completely with water. This is especially true for men. It is customary to perform the action for hygienic reasons, and to protect the body from the evil eye.

Do not overeat before intimacy

The religious principle “do not please your womb,” which is approved in many religions, operates. Newlyweds should be humble in their eating habits and full of energy for the sacred act of marriage.

The first wedding night was the final and most important part of the wedding ceremony, serving as the border for the transformation of a girl into a woman and a young man into a man. In order for this initiation ritual to take place without harm to the newlyweds, it was necessary to consistently conduct a series of protective rituals that dictated their prescriptions and prohibitions.

Podklet

In the Russian wedding tradition, the first wedding night following the wedding and the festive feast was called the basement. Usually it took place in the groom's parental home, but in the Vladimir province and on the coast of the White Sea it was customary to hold it before the wedding, and on the territory of the bride. Of course, such an order was rare, but there was a place to be in other parts of Russia, provided that after the wedding, the husband moved to live in his wife's house.

But in any case, a cold room was necessarily chosen as a room for the first intimate date of the newlyweds, for example, a room, a sennik, a cage, a bathhouse, a cellar, a closet, and sometimes a sheepfold, a pantry or a barn. To equip the marriage bed in such prosaic places dictated superstition, according to which the newlyweds should not enter into the first intimacy "underground", which meant the earthen flooring of the ceiling of an old house.

Marriage bed

In the old days, it was impossible to spend the first wedding night on a bed not properly prepared for this important action.

The ceremonial assembly of the wedding bed was entrusted to the bed-women; this cohort included women, among whom there could be both relatives of the bride and the groom. But in the southern Russian lands, as well as in the Moscow region, this mission was often performed by men who were called drone or stern.

The wedding bed was laid either on the floor or on a specially knocked up high boardwalk, but in any case, they used bedding and linen taken only from the bride's dowry.

To provide the newlyweds with a prosperous life together, rye sheaves and sacks of flour were placed under the mattress. Logs were also placed there, the number of which symbolized the number of future children, money so that the family did not know the need, bricks and a yoke, so that the marriage bond was strong.

In order to protect the newlyweds from the influence of evil spirits, amulets were placed on the wedding bed, which in the Arkhangelsk province were considered a poker and a grab, and in other places in Russia a frying pan. Covering a very rigid base with mattresses stuffed with hay or feather beds, and laying down a few pillows, the bedwomen covered the bed with a wide white sheet that hid all their tricks.

At the final stage, the women checked whether someone had planted swept away cat and dog hair, bones or broken needles in the bed out of malice, and then walked around the bed with a branch of juniper or mountain ash, which, in their opinion, had a protective power.

To top it off, the Christian rite of sprinkling with holy water was added to all pagan rituals.

Ukladiny

Having escorted the young to the bedroom, it was impossible to leave their bedroom door unattended. In order to drive away evil spirits, drunken guests, and also to inquire about the affairs of the newlyweds, a special guard was assigned to the room, who carried an honorary watch all night.

One of the important elements of the first wedding night was a joint meal of the young in the bedroom, without which it was forbidden to go to bed. Typically, the treats were bread, symbolizing wealth, and baked chicken, symbolizing the fertility of the family. The church, protesting against pagan prejudices, for a long time could not eradicate these traditions from popular practice. In this regard, her only significant victory was the ban on the use of the demonic Old Slavonic rite, in which the newlyweds, taking the chicken by the legs, tore it in two, as if depicting deprivation of innocence.

Alone

In some areas of the Slavic world, there was a ban on the performance of a conjugal duty on the wedding night, which could be postponed for three nights. In the Vologda province, it was believed that violation of this rule would lead to the death of sheep, and in the vicinity of Brest, intimacy was not allowed until the first joint visit to the church after the wedding.

In the Russian North, on the wedding night, the bride was not supposed to resignedly obey the groom, but, on the contrary, her duties included active defense of her maiden honor, coupled with repulsion, scratching and undressing the narrowed one. But with all this, she had no right to go to bed without the permission of her husband, who was obliged to put her to bed, only by throwing her over himself.

In other areas, on the other hand, the bride was not fit to show her arrogance and as proof of her obedience to her husband, she had to shoe him.

Islamic traditions

In Islamic tradition, the first wedding night usually took place on the day the bride moved to the groom's house, and could not be postponed without good reason. So the intimacy between the spouses was postponed to a later date, if the newlyweds did not know each other before that day or because of the poor health of one of them.

According to Muslim customs, the bedroom of the newlyweds should not have been not only peeping third parties, but even animals. To make the newlyweds less shy, it was impossible to turn on a bright light in the room, so the lighting was either turned off or made as dim as possible.

When fulfilling a conjugal duty, it was strictly forbidden to leave the opened Koran in the room; it was necessary either to take it out of the room, or to wrap it in a blanket.

It was forbidden for a man to be rude towards a woman, and before entering into intimacy, he was supposed to touch the bride's forehead with his palm and ask for the blessing of the Almighty.

Dagestan customs

The first wedding night took place somewhat unusually in some Dagestan villages, where the central action was the single combat of the bride and groom. According to an ancient tradition, before sharing a matrimonial bed with his betrothed, a man had to defeat her in a duel, for which she had been preparing since childhood. The longer the groom could not break the bride's resistance, the more the moment of the first intimacy was delayed, sometimes the time was measured not in minutes, but in days.

The whole difficulty for the man was that on the eve of this marriage bout the bride was shaved off her hair, smeared with oil on the exposed areas of her body, put on an outfit with a lot of knots, over which a cord was tied to protect her chastity.

During the "battle", the groom had to untie all the knots with his bare hands, without using a dagger, in order to take possession of the wife, who was allowed not only to hold the defense, but also to inflict bodily harm on the opponent.