Starting a family is not at all easy, and finding happiness in your personal life is an impossible mission, according to skeptics. However, the ideal family is not a fantasy, and many couples managed to achieve this status after hard and many years of work.

Signs of a happy family

So what is the ideal family? For many, this phrase means a cloudless relationship for several decades, but in reality this turns out to be impossible. Quarrels, betrayals and partings occur in almost all couples, and this cannot be avoided even in the most sincere relationships. What then are the signs of an ideal family in modern society?

It is difficult to build trust between partners, especially if there have been betrayals in the family. However, this does not mean at all that manic checks and suspicions should become part of everyday life. Psychologists advise maintaining absolute transparency in relationships, telling each other everything, and then the family will be stronger than any problems.

There are many such signs of an ideal family. For many people, it is important to have financial well-being in the family, but for someone, mutual respect is more valuable. There are several hundred recipes for ideal relationships, but this does not mean at all that at least one of them is suitable in this particular case.

How to create a happy family

Having dealt with the signs of an ideal family, you need to talk about ways to achieve such a balance in relationships. Here psychologists insist on attention to the following nuances:

• the right choice of a partner, because not every person will be able to build a long and happy relationship;
• tolerance towards oneself and beloved;
• the desire to do everything for the sake of the family, to perceive oneself not as an individual, but as part of a cell of society;
• work on your relationships even in the moments of the most difficult crisis;
• forgive the soulmate for her shortcomings and turn a blind eye to minor misconduct;
• always reflect on the pros of a relationship without focusing on the cons.

First and most important is choosing the right partner. How can you create a family with someone in whom a person is not a bit sure? How can you be happy next to someone who has a lot of shortcomings, with someone who has no feelings? It is at the stage of choosing a potential husband or wife that the maximum number of difficulties arise. An ideal family is born in pain, and it will not be possible to build it on love alone.

The next important nuance is the attitude towards yourself and your partner. After the conclusion of an official union, the word “I” should disappear from the lexicon of a person, and the word “we” should be replaced with it. It is necessary to perceive the world from the position of interests for both partners. You should worry about the failures of your spouse as if you were your own, while not focusing on the minor shortcomings of your spouse. The desire to inflate a scandal over any little thing leads the couple to an inevitable parting.

In order for the family to be happy, it is necessary to work all the time, otherwise the efforts will be in vain. Even in the most difficult moments, one should remember something positive, something for which a person has worked all these years.

The family and its constituents

Many modern people are sure that a family cannot be complete if there is no child in it. Opinions on this matter differ diametrically, and usually the question does not leave anyone indifferent. Is it really necessary for a couple to have a baby, or does the word “ideal” have different meanings for everyone?

Psychologists are of the opinion that sooner or later all couples come to have a baby. This is a kind of stage that speaks of the maturity of the relationship. However, relationships do not always need children. Some lovers are so good together that they do not want to share this feeling with anyone else.

That is why the very concept of an ideal, absolutely happy family does not need to be labeled. It is possible to achieve such a balance and live happily together for at least 50 years together, without offspring. Some couples find special charm in breeding dogs, some like horses, and some even dream of romance for two for a century.

Of course, with the advent of the baby, relationships go to a completely different level, but replenishing the family at the same time becomes a serious test. Caring for a child can take away all the strength, against the background of which love will fade away. If the couple decides to have several children, then the partners will have to save their family from collapse over and over again. However, the effort is worth it, because nothing in this world can replace the warmth of sincere hugs.

Any family begins with two people and sincere feelings. Sometimes such relationships stand the test of time, and sometimes they turn out to be weaker than the circumstances that have fallen on them. However, this does not mean at all that you need to give up, because thousands of people have proven by their example that you can be happy in marriage for many years, feeling needed and important.

Elena, Moscow

People are rarely happy living alone.

Despite this fact, due to a large number of divorces and simply unwillingness to marry, the number of single people in the world is exponentially increasing.

Family functions in the modern world have changed. The individualistic culture that prevails in most developed countries is based on love in relation to marriage, so the family is less and less considered as a “cell of society”.

Marriage lasts as long as romantic feelings last, so a stable family should be just perfect. The ideal family is perceived by most people primarily as a full-fledged one, consisting of a father, mother and children.

In addition, in an ideal family there are:

• Confidence.
• Understanding.
• Mutual assistance.
• Mutual respect.
• Having common interests.

This concept of happy family relationships is common to most people. At the same time, in the imagination of a person, pictures of a smiling large family appear against the backdrop of nature or a cozy home environment.

Since only happy people smile, the ideal family is a relationship in which all relatives feel happy. But people represent happiness in different ways, so you should not look for universal features in every stable family and try to instill them in yourself.

Do conflicts and quarrels happen in paradise too?

In our view, ideal relationships completely exclude conflicts and misunderstandings, but each person has his own, even small, shortcomings, therefore, with regular and close communication of several people, irritation, misunderstanding or conflict of interests arise from time to time.

This does not mean at all that it is impossible to create an ideal family. It is important to understand that the family is a dynamic entity, so there simply cannot be standard relationships in it.

That is why even perfect families have their own problems, but unlike dysfunctional families, they know how to solve them. To understand how the ideal family differs from the rest, you should think about why people create a family.

There are several main reasons for marriage:

• Love(ideal), that is, the desire to be near your loved one all the time, to create one whole from two separate parts.
• Payment(here and money, and social status, and registration - depending on the interests and capabilities of partners).
• Fear of being alone(friends are already married, time is passing, but there is no prince, or he was, but you absolutely do not know how to live without a partner. And even if in the end there will not even be an ideal family - this is better than loneliness);
• Pregnancy. For some reason, the relationship did not develop into a marital relationship at first, but both partners approach the appearance of a child responsibly.

For whatever reason, marriage is concluded, in it people try to satisfy their domestic, personal and psychological needs. That is, they strive to find coziness, comfort and a sense of spiritual closeness.

Since the needs and expectations from a partner for individual men and women may not coincide, one must not copy others, but know how to create a happy family.

What do you need to consider in order to create your ideal unit of society?

Very often, young spouses look back at other families, and not always parental ones (for example, “Masha has a golden husband, he repairs everything himself”). However, they forget that the differences between your couples are not only in this.

Her husband repairs himself, and yours can pay for any repairs, but he doesn’t like to work with his hands, because he is a talented programmer. Since all people are unique, someone else's family model will not help you in building your own family.

In order for your family to be said (and you thought so) that it is ideal, you need to create your own unique model. And it should be based on your life principles.

This is especially important in the context of raising children - our children copy our behavior, so the principles declared in the process of upbringing should correspond to your daily behavior.

What will you pass on to your children?

It is on the basis of the parental family behavior model that children then create their own family. Therefore, before getting married, it is desirable:

• Align your principles and outlook on life. Often in a young family, partners have different ideas about things that are not fundamental - here you can always find a compromise and thus avoid conflicts in the future. People whose principles generally coincide are able to create an ideal family.

• Understand that the family is not a frozen structure once and for all, it also needs constant development. Each member of the family constantly has to learn to understand the others (we change in the process of growing up, we go through all the stages of our child's development, we go through age crises, etc.). Over time, you have to learn to trust not only each other, but also the child. In addition, you must learn to give everyone freedom - the child will someday leave the parental home, so he must become independent, and your partner must have freedom of choice.

Quarreling is OK

The main quality that an ideal family possesses is the ability to resolve conflicts in a constructive way. Many believe that in an ideal home, children do not compete for the title of pet, and problems are discussed in a calm atmosphere without unnecessary emotions.

But reality usually demonstrates the opposite - he flared up, this one could not restrain himself, and now the evening is hopelessly spoiled by the scandal.

People in such cases try to avoid conflicts in every possible way, but psychologists recommend not to hush up claims and grievances. Unspoken negative emotions tend to accumulate and erupt over trifles at the most inopportune moment.

A conflict in a normal family is not a tragedy or an anomaly. This is in most cases the result of a misunderstanding and a natural process of grinding different people. If you are thinking about how to create a happy family, learn how to:

• Discuss the problem.
• Speak out and pronounce controversial points.
• Listen patiently to your opponent.
• Detachedly expect the development of the situation (this is necessary when communicating on painful topics with children and adolescents).

Common interests

Everyone understands that real deep relationships are possible only if there are common interests. At the same time, conflicts in the family often flare up precisely on the basis of different interests.

Most women under the concept of “being together” mean the complete sharing of all hobbies by the spouses, and only joint holidays are welcomed. But the interests of two different people cannot completely coincide.

The ideal family allows you to find moments that unite all family members. But at the same time, he leaves everyone his personal space and the opportunity to engage in a business that does not interest the rest.

Family traditions

Almost every happy family in the process of its development acquires or inherits its family traditions and rituals from grandparents.

For some, this is a branded grandmother's pie for the holiday (it has long been baked not only by the grandmother, but also by the rest of the women of the family), while for someone it is the custom to spend a birthday in a certain cafe, to pass on significant objects familiar from childhood (grandfather's watch, cookbook, etc.).

There can be many family rituals that you usually do not attach importance to, and you are unlikely to wonder why they are needed at all. At the same time, it is these peculiar traditions that make up a significant part of your bright childhood memories of comfort and ties with your parental home. And this is what your grown child will remember later.

Happy Family Rules!

An ideal family is always the result of the joint efforts of all its members. In order to create a happy atmosphere in your home, coziness and spiritual comfort, you and your household need:

• Talk heart to heart as often as possible - without sincere communication and the trust that arises from this, a family cannot be perfect.
• Pay more attention to loved ones and be sincerely interested in their life.
• Celebrate important events and holidays in the family circle - a positive atmosphere of memories sets you up to strengthen family ties.
• Despite the daily workload and the fatigue accumulated after the working week, spend at least one day together. To do this, it’s good to come up with interesting entertainment for everyone.

• Do not let into your family circle people who create discomfort (neighbors, acquaintances, distant relatives).
• Involve the whole family in important family matters (preparation for the celebration, etc.).
• When making decisions, take into account the opinion of all family members, even the smallest.
• Try to say affectionate words to your loved ones as often as possible and do not forget to hug them - not only children, but also adults need such communication.
• Do not avoid conflicts, but learn to translate them into a positive plane.

If, nevertheless, an offense arose, learn not to wait until you are asked for forgiveness, but find ways of reconciliation. Why accumulate negativity and aggravate the confrontation, if in the process of discussing the situation you can better understand and accept each other.

It is important to remember that the ideal family is a process of continuous family development, and not just a title. Every day you influence the degree of intimacy and trust between loved ones. Give them love, take care of each other and be interested. That's the whole recipe for a happy home, where it is always cozy and warm!

What should be a modern family

Modern family: love or money?

After going through the families of my acquaintances and colleagues in my memory, I thought - are there any ideal families at all? And what kind of family can be called, if not ideal, then at least approaching such a standard?

It seems to me that this standard depends on the people themselves - on a man and a woman who want to start a family, because, having made such a serious decision, they somehow already imagine how they will live together, solve difficult issues, spend time, organize their life etc.

Often parents' families and their relationships are chosen as a model, and this is understandable, because this is the way of life that people see from birth. But what if the newlyweds grew up in very different families - is this a direct let to conflicts? In this case, the ability of both parties to find a compromise is of great importance.

A happy and therefore ideal family can also be created by selecting what suits you from the models of other people's marital relations. And you can create your own, unique family model, in which everyone will be warm and comfortable, in which peace, love, and respect will reign.

And first of all, principles are important for a happy family, that is, the foundations, the foundation on which it will be built. It is clear that all people are different, which is why it is so important for creating a family that a husband and wife have common principles and strictly follow them.

One of the most important principles for a family should be a way to resolve conflicts. It is clear that endurance sometimes fails, patience is not enough - not all conflicts can be resolved peacefully. But if tantrums, scandals, insults begin in the family, you definitely cannot call it ideal. So you need to learn conflicts that cannot be avoided, to translate them into a constructive channel in order to improve relations. And many conflicts only require patience and detached waiting. Sometimes the best solution to a conflict is to step aside and let the situation unfold naturally. If you can learn to get along in difficult situations, this is the guarantee that harmony will reign in your family life.

No less important are the traditions that every family probably has. Perhaps something will be brought into the new family from previous generations, and some traditions may begin with you and your home. This is very important, because traditions are the history of the family, the memory of ancestors, respect for their lives. And here everything matters: the pie recipe, which is passed down from the great-grandmother, family holidays, photo and video archives, etc. If a young family has some kind of tradition that the children will pick up, this will only benefit the relationship.

It is good when the family has common hobbies, interests, and, moreover, important not only for adult family members, but also for children. Whether it be a passion for hiking or collecting, a love of the theater or sports, it is important that the interest is shared. A family united by some common passion rests on much stronger ties than just the habit of living together. Members of such a family always have something to talk about.

Very often, cracks appear in family relationships when the family stops developing. Both adults and children should learn, for example, to give each other freedom, to solve problems and problems that arise in life. Without this, everyone will move in their own direction, and the family will be shaken by natural disasters like the "unexpected" beginning of a child's puberty.

Personal development is also very important. If the husband makes a career, studies, raises his cultural and educational level, and the wife closes herself in the family, household and children, then it is not surprising if they soon have nothing to even talk about.

And, most importantly, it is the understanding that next to you are the closest and dearest people who are ready to share both grief and joy. Selfishness kills relationships. If family members do not have the habit of caring for each other, empathizing, striving and finding understanding, you will not build strong relationships.

Probably, absolutely ideal families do not exist, because we are all people, with our own shortcomings, weaknesses, habits, upbringing. But when people strive for the ideal, this is already wonderful! So, they have a real chance to achieve what they want!

family inspiration 17.09.2012

The life of a blogger is different from the life of ordinary readers. We often go to visit our friends and learn a lot of new things for ourselves. A couple of weeks ago I visited Nadezhda Orekhova's blog and saw the announcement of her contest. “Ideal family” is the name of the contest itself. Hope invited everyone to take part in it.

I read the name of the competition, for some reason I immediately decided that it should be only about my family and immediately said: “No. It’s all so personal that sharing everything, flaunting my feelings and everything that happens in the family - I definitely won’t do this. Yes, and I will not call our family ideal. A lot of things happened in life, probably, like everyone else.

So I wrote to Nadezhda about everything. But the answer made me happy. It turns out that you can just think about what should be the ideal family? But to reflect on the mood - this is closer to me. Therefore, not for the sake of the competitive work (to be honest, the very feeling that you write for the sake of the competition always takes me out of balance), but just for the sake of some deep feelings and thoughts, I decided to get involved in this process. I don’t know what will come of this, but it became curious what could come of everything at least in the ideal version, left in the form of an article on the blog.

And that's where it all came together for me. There was a mood and some thoughts. It all started with yesterday's concert. I had the opening of the concert season. In our vocal studio was the first concert. One participant had an anniversary, the concert was timed to coincide with his birthday.

Why am I writing all this? So, that's how I was touched by the last song that Sasha performed. "Golden Tango" by A. Babajanyan. At the last verse, Sasha went down to the hall, invited his wife to the stage, and they danced so touchingly. They lived together for over 30 years. You know, those present had tears. Indeed, it touches such an attitude towards a woman. And this is not just a broad ostentatious gesture, but really an ATTITUDE towards his wife. And how she looked at him when they danced ... I was nearby, on stage, I saw all the nuances. Yes, it's so expensive...

“All happy families are equally happy, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” L.N. Tolstoy.

What an ideal family should look like

Have you seen ideal families? I honestly tried to answer this question for myself and honestly answer: "I do not." Anyway, somewhere there are some nuances. For some, they will not be a reason to say so, but I still think: “Yes, it would be nice to come to this. We must strive. But first of all, we must accept and appreciate everything that each of us has. Probably, it’s more honest to answer like this: “Yes, in my environment there are families that are close in my perception of the ideal.”

And then our ideals and the very concept of an “ideal family” are very different for everyone. It depends on so many things. Including from the family where you yourself were brought up and what you saw in this life, what you yourself are, and what you want to receive, how to build relationships.

Probably no one has cloudless happiness. And the main thing is to find those strengths and that wisdom to go through all this. I very often recall our life test - my daughter's illness and very difficult treatment. Most of all, it is always amazing when, in such trials, men are cowardly and behave, I don’t even know what word to choose for this, probably just mean.

More than 15 years have passed, and I still have a picture before my eyes: we were in the ward with one woman whose husband left during the treatment of her son. Left her alone with her son. No money, no support. I saw him once during the entire treatment. And the treatment was long, about a year. What was it like to go through everything for a son who needed a father so much? He only asked his mother when dad would come, he still could not understand what could happen. Here is the truth, there are no words.

But, thank God, I saw a lot of other attitudes towards my wife and children. It always touches me how a man talks about his children. You can not know anything about the family, everything becomes immediately clear. Again, I'll tell you about our vocal studio. When our Mehman talks about his daughter Anechka (and he never calls her anything else), you know, you just need to see his eyes. So much love and warmth there. You look, listen and think: “For such moments in life, you can give everything.” When there is such touching in the eyes and such indifference to children.

I really remember our conversation in an interview with Irina Rybchanskaya. I asked her a question about what modern families lack for happiness? I fully agree that now many people are concerned that their children are fed and shod, but families often do not have that sincerity and warmth that everyone is looking for. Adults are now busy with their own problems. This race at work, the constant lack of time prevent you from seeing all the most valuable things.

In search of the ideal

Let's remember all our childhood dreams of a happy life. Those thoughts of Cinderella, when we were all waiting for our princes ... In real life, after all, probably, much is different. Magic collides with everyday life, and the princes in life turn out to be a little different, just like we ourselves are for them.

But on the other hand, look around. There are so many lonely people out there right now. It just becomes unbearable. I myself have many friends who are not married, and all of them are very worthy. Everyone is looking for their ideal. And he's all gone. And now that critical age, that threshold when you can know the happiness of motherhood, has been passed. And this is indeed a tragedy for many women.

If we turn to our cinematography, then the theme of “ideal family” is not the best. It is much more advantageous to show the height of passions in a love triangle. And the scenes when the spouses are happy with life, go to bed together and have breakfast together - such films are too boring for screenwriters, not spectacular. And all this evokes the main idea for many: “A storm of emotions is great, but everyday joys are all somehow primitive a little.”

And after such lyrics and revelation, I want to build a more logical chain. I will try to describe my vision of an ideal family. What is needed for this, in my opinion?

Now I’ll write such an ideal family that it won’t seem a little to anyone, but I always have high requirements for everything. These are just the thoughts I share with you. And again, female logic ...

My idea of ​​an ideal family

The ideal family is that family in which everything is built on trust in each other, where there are no lies and deceit, where they sincerely rejoice at each other, where there is no spiritual dirt (you understand what I mean ...)

An ideal family is when your soulmate comes home, just insert the key in the door, and you already know what mood your husband (wife) came in, where there are no scandals and reproaches in the most unsightly form. Well, if you want to clarify a bit, then this is, first of all:

• The ability to hear and listen to each other. Just share and talk with each other not only on the topics of money, fatigue, problems.
• The ability to stop in anger and their "disheveled" feelings.
• Notice all the good and warm that comes from the other.
• Don't betray.
• Learn to understand and forgive others.
• This is when you read admiration in the eyes of your soul mate.
• The ability to hurry to do everything good and kind. Moreover, not once to do and forget, but to do and continue to do it.
• Trust each other.
• Give the opportunity to your soul mate not to forget about his interests.
• Constantly discover something new in yourself, do not stop in your development, be interesting, always surprise with something. In the good sense of the word.
• Live today so as not to regret anything tomorrow ...
• Do something unexpectedly - pleasant to another.
• It would be nice, after all, for the husband to be the head, and the wife to be the heart.
• Understand that ideal people do not feel and learn to accept it.
• Do not condemn the ways of families of relatives.
• Invest in your children all your soul, warmth and Love.
• Remain human in any situation.
• This is a family in which they know how to appreciate touching moments.
• Give love to loved ones.
• Which in joy and in sorrow knows how to survive everything.
• In which small family holidays are arranged.
• Who sees more positive things around and infects her children with it.
• When your soulmate hugs you, and you think that there can be no one closer and dearer.
• Where there is children's laughter and where simple everyday pleasures are discussed.
• Where is the romance...
• Where the husband is sensitive, and the wife is wise.
• When you don't go to bed without reconciling.
• Where there is no "yours" and "mine", but there is the word "ours".
• Where is a strong rear, where you will always be understood.
• When a woman is a good mother, a friend, and even a thought does not arise about a mistress ...

Many more nuances can be added. And write each item in detail. But perhaps this is the main thing. This is my vision of the ideal family. Probably, many will say: “Wow ... Well, the requirements. There's just too much of everything." So after all, I'm only talking about my understanding of the ideal family.

Strive for perfection is always commendable. Just do not forget that we are all people with our own shortcomings, habits, weaknesses, upbringing. We are all different. Everyone wants love and family. And it is desirable, closer to the ideal.

And my sincere musical gift for today Elena Kamburova Where are you, dream? From the movie "Slave of Love" Sounds of the soul ... I wish everyone the same touching soul in my heart. Believe in Love and our dreams ... Yes, according to your faith, everything will be rewarded to you ...

I want to see as many happy families as possible. No, not ideal. But in which there is a real ... Which is what I wish for all of us.

Oats have been consumed as a medicine long before the use of iron. The medicinal properties of oats help with various diseases - hepatitis, diabetes, pneumonia, atherosclerosis and others.

In cosmetology, oregano herb is used to treat skin diseases. Soft oregano essential oil soothes the skin, destroys fungal growths on the nails of the feet and hands, and makes the skin soft and silky.

In order not to be mistaken with the quality of olive oil, you should know how to choose it correctly. Unrefined olive oil retains more of its natural properties and is the healthiest to consume.

A large number of trace elements, amino acids and fiber make oats an excellent product for weight loss. The beneficial properties of oats help to speed up the process of removing fluid from the body.

"Women's happiness" can be easily bought, because this is the name of a beautiful indoor flower spathiphyllum. Such "female happiness" will delight you with abundant flowering and beautiful foliage.

see also

90 comments

Nina
17 Sep 2015 at 9:45

Answer

Answer

Answer

Answer

Answer

Answer

Answer

Answer

Answer

negligent accountant
22 Sep 2012 at 11:10

Answer

Elena
21 Sep 2012 at 21:24

Answer

Ekaterina
21 Sep 2012 at 7:28

Answer

Elena Meteleva
20 Sep 2012 at 23:22

Answer

Elena
20 Sep 2012 at 19:44

Answer

Vsevolod
20 Sep 2012 at 16:47

Answer

Tatyana
20 Sep 2012 at 16:06

Answer

Marina Antonova
20 Sep 2012 at 13:27

Answer

Vitaly
20 Sep 2012 at 8:13

Answer

Galina
19 Sep 2012 at 22:59

Answer

Olga
19 Sep 2012 at 21:52

Answer

Nasati
19 Sep 2012 at 21:40

Answer

Elena
19 Sep 2012 at 13:01

Answer

Tatyana
19 Sep 2012 at 12:42

Answer

Nina
19 Sep 2012 at 5:54

Answer

Lucy
18 Sep 2012 at 22:05

Answer

Irina
18 Sep 2012 at 21:20

Answer

Irina
18 Sep 2012 at 20:55

Answer


18 Sep 2012 at 20:24

Answer

Larisa
18 Sep 2012 at 13:47

Answer

Evgeniy
18 Sep 2012 at 13:30

Answer

Mila (Flowers of Life)
18 Sep 2012 at 13:11