What is true friendship. What is real friendship

How do you understand the meaning of the word "friendship"? After all, there is a definition of friendship, long ago deduced by philosophers and placed in textbooks. Friendship is a personal relationship that is based on sincerity, trust, sympathy, common interests and hobbies.

What is the foundation of a friendship?

• One of the first building blocks of friendship is mutual respect and sympathy. That is, we are ready to admit the fact that this person is our “equal” in some important parameters for us. We are ready to recognize his interests, we do not put forward any demands to sacrifice a set of moral values \u200b\u200band principles. And we, of course, expect that we will also be respected, listened to and conceded in some way, without seeking to remake.
• The second building block of friendship is trust. It is impossible to be friends with someone who does not show goodwill and decency towards us. Also, a friend must be sincere, otherwise we can never trust him.

• The presence of fidelity is imperative for friendships. This means that we can exchange any information with a friend and know for sure that confidentiality will be respected. Although it so happens that in some cases the conditions for the exchange of information with other persons (parents, other relatives) must be specially stipulated.

• Let's talk about mutual understanding, because without it, friendship will not work out. We can be friends only when we realize the interests, points of view, principles of behavior of another person and agree to accept them. Generally speaking, we must understand the views, near and distant goals of a friend. We can communicate verbally and non-verbally, and conclude friendly alliances of the highest degree of strength, only if we reach mutual understanding.

• Such a concept as a community of interests and hobbies is associated with friendship. The conversation that “friendship knows no ages” is just triggered when a community of interests and hobbies are manifested. Is friendship between an old fisherman and a boy with a cheap fishing rod possible? Yes, of course, everyone knows that. There are many examples when people in a friendly affection are united by some common hobby. Friendship within work collectives is a vivid example of unity based on common interests, but not hobbies. Age does not become an obstacle to such a friendship.

• For friendship, such a concept as value-orientational unity is important, because we pay a lot of attention to the coincidence of assessments of other personalities, events, entertainment and even food. Of course, it is difficult to imagine friendship based on the relationship to dumplings, as to other food, but a breakdown in relations due to a lack of acceptance of gastronomic addictions is quite possible. Friendships between a vegetarian and a meat-eater can go wrong.

• We undoubtedly consider openness to be a necessary sign of friendship. The one who does not hide his beliefs, preferences, is inclined to share thoughts and experiences, we may well call our friend. At the same time, a friend sometimes does not require reciprocal frankness, which means that other reasons for friendship also bind you.
• Summing up the conversation about friendship, it should be especially noted that disinterestedness should be considered the main thing in these interpersonal relationships. We do not expect gifts and money from a friend, otherwise there will be neither equality nor community. We have been friends all our life from childhood, from youth or from a later age, relying not on a material, but on a spiritual foundation.

WHAT IS TRUE FRIENDSHIP?

What are friends for and how does our personal success depend on our environment? Who chooses friends- are we or do they choose us? Why is it that close friendship most often leaves the most bitter disappointment?

The theologian Fyodor Raichinets, a permanent expert of the LIFE Club, will help to understand the complex interweaving of human relationships and to reveal the concept of friendship from a very unexpected side.

The hosts of the “Club LIFE” asked the people of Kiev how friends have influenced and continue to influence their lives. And this is what they answered:

“Who I am, that's what I attract. These are not friends, but my copies, but in a different version. "

“When I was young, I didn’t know how to do anything, not even cook soup. She married a military man, and the wives of the military were treated like little white-handed people who know nothing and know nothing. But one day I went to visit and saw the wife of the colonel of the rocketman gluing tiles while her husband was watching TV. So I went home and scrolled the floors myself and varnished them. "

“I have very few friends, but they are proven people. Yes, their opinion influences me, my actions. For example, I entered the Kiev-Mohyla Academy for the company and I do not regret it. "

O din of those who answered the presenters of the "Club LIFE" said that our friends are our mirror image. And it is true - we attract our own kind... Moreover, it seems to me that at first differences are attracted to you, then they annoy you, and then you begin to adapt to these differences.

In friendship, at first it may seem to you that you are very different people, but, in fact, the more you get to know each other, the more you go through certain experiences - pleasant and not so - the more you notice your similarity with your friend. Yes, we mutually influence those around us.

A friend is a person with whom you share something. intimate... But by sharing your secret, you become extremely vulnerablein front of this person. Friendship is a risk. Friendship is not only communication with someone, but sometimes a terrible disappointment.

Why does betrayal always border on friendship? Because it is not distant people who betray, but close ones. In this regard, the Bible says that danger is always near. On the other hand, why be friends if you are closed to people? But if I open up, then I realize that I took a risk, not knowing when it could be used against me.

True friendship is a friendship that has overcome betrayal, no matter how scary it sounds. And this is one facet of friendship that is described in the Bible.

The other side of friendship in the Bible is that a friend is a person with whom you are ready to share his weaknesses... When you know about these weaknesses of his, you point them out to him, but always alone with a friend, never in the presence of others. Because in the presence of other people, you always cover up these weaknesses, on the contrary, highlighting the strengths of your friend.

The third facet of friendship is that it's very difficult without a friend... The Bible says that a friend is the person with whom you share both tears and laughter. And most of all, says the Bible, friendship is tested not in tears, but in a smile. You feel who shares your joy with you for real, and who only with a joyful grimace on his face, at the same time thinking about why it was you who were lucky, and not him.

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Friendship is a two-way movement. You can wait a very long time for a potential friend to come to me and say that he wants to be friends. And you can be very deeply upset about this, because this is unlikely to happen. Sometimes we perceive loneliness as “ they don't notice me "... But do I do myself noticeable?

How can you become someone's friend? You need to be friendly, It means to be open to others, to be ready to let another into your life, to be ready to enter someone's life. You need to understand that a friend is a person dear to me and close in spirit. The social status of a person, his religious beliefs, nationality do not play a role here. This is a feeling of soul kinship.

I think friendship is a gift from the Almighty, which is given to a person so that he can experience all the emotional potential that friendship contains. But friendship is also my choice. That is, I myself choose how much I open up, how much I want to be close with this or that person, how much I am ready to build friendship with him. And I choose whether I want to continue being friends when it hurts or leave. Or when a friend is successful and I am not, then maybe I should find another friend to make me feel more comfortable? Therefore, friendship is both a gift from above and a personal decision of a person.

A strong friendship will not break

Will not come apart from rains and blizzards.

A friend in trouble will not leave, he will not ask too much,

This is what a true faithful friend means.

In our life, all people interact, for the sake of calculation or simply for the sake of spiritual satisfaction. Sometimes the spiritual satisfaction of fellowship leads to friendship. AND what is real friendship and is it possible today? What kind of friendship should it be? And who should you be friends with?

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Friendship is just like love, the strongest feeling that unites hearts. Nowadays, it is very difficult to find friends, or maybe it is easy, we just have too many requirements for a potential friend. Or our thoughts are simply occupied with something more mundane. Or maybe you don't need to look for friends, they will find themselves when you need someone's help. Remember when you needed someone's help, who helped you? No, not to bring bags to the apartment, and not financial assistance, but something more ambitious, which is of great importance to you. And can you call him a friend?

The help of a friend should not be matter, it should be spiritual. After all, friendship is not matter, but feelings. Our physical needs for help are just a small thing in life, but they also matter to us because we pay too much attention to them. Moral or spiritual needs - this is what is important, if a person is in imbalance with himself, with his inner world, is in a depressed state, then no physical or material help will be useful.

True friendship in a general sense cannot have rules, friends themselves establish their own rules in their relations, like birds build a nest, there is a general meaning of a nest in order to live there and hatch eggs, give birth to offspring, but how and what leaf or twig to put or the bird decides to stick it in. It's the same in friendship - friends decide for themselves what is allowed and what is not. Naturally, in friendship one must not only take, but also give. But one always takes more than the other. Respect, sincerity, loyalty are part of friendship, not rules.

Several years ago I met a chubby cutie, we became very friendly with her, we could chat for days, made gifts to each other for the holidays, went to visit, walked, went shopping, helped each other, supported in difficult times. But then something happened, for some reason we had a fight. I would not say that much, but we were offended at each other. Now we have parted ways, and I often think about her. The saying "we have, we do not value, we will lose we cry" is true. Having sat down to write this article, I seriously thought about real friendship and about it, maybe she is my friend? Earlier, when I was friends with her, I did not think about friendship and about the meaning of this word and about the meaning of this relationship. Now I seriously think about friendship, about the meaning and significance of this phenomenon, and I try to discern my friend in every close acquaintance.

No wonder they say that friendship breeds love. To some extent, I believe that friendship is love. A reverent attitude towards a friend, a desire to help him or to console him, or to rejoice in happy moments in his life, are these not signs of love? It is a certain amount of love that is present in true friendship. It's just that a person would not be particularly worried about another person, and he would not be particularly happy, instead of joy there would be envy. And in order to know true friendship, you probably need to get used to each other's characters. And after going through all the obstacles and grievances, it will still remain - friendship.

Now I often think about who should be called a friend, who should not be. Now this word has a meaning, but before I could call everyone with this title. And now I think before calling her friend. I guess I'm fixated on friendship. So, I have one friend. I have known her for at least five years. At first, she irritated me very much, her voice, laughter, behavior, manners - in general, everything! Even the appearance. Somehow I didn't want to get closer to her, but studying in college did its job, we got along with her, so to speak, in my opinion, or rather I got along with her. There was a friendship of convenience, I think so, in order to survive in this environment, and so as not to sink in a whirlpool of everyday steam. Two years have passed since we graduated from this college, and during this period, it seems to me, we got used to each other well, and we still communicate. I fell in love with her over the years, although she lives far from me, but we often communicate with her, but see each other occasionally. Now she is pregnant, for the last month, and I am expecting her baby with her, and I am very happy for her.

They also say that friends are not chosen. And, in my opinion, they even choose. Nowadays, our chosen friend must meet all our requirements, as if we were choosing a multifunctional phone better and cheaper. With more benefit and less cost. Many parents tell their offspring “don't be friends with him! He cannot be your friend! ”So that they communicate with children from their circle. Which circle? Children are children. They have no education or work. Nothing. They don't even have a circle, it turns out that parents choose friends for their children, looking at the parents of this child. Does friendship have any limits? After all, a friend does not have to have a good job, or a higher education, or even two higher education. A friend is a friend, and is not measured by the cash in the wallet, or a good position. You can be friends with everyone and everywhere, with anyone. The spiritual connection between friends is important, not monetary. We have forgotten how to feel, we have one naked calculation. Don't confuse friendship with calculation. If nothing shudders in your heart at the thought of a friend, then it is unlikely that this is friendship.

I don’t think that true friendship should have common goals and interests, you can be friends without all this. Although in our time they are friends with those people with whom they have common interests, because people do not want to bother looking for a real friend with whom they would have different interests. After all, it is sometimes interesting to argue with a friend on certain topics that excite either you or him. Just be friends, no matter what. Communicate with a person, admire him, see the inner world of another person. Just be friends with a person because he is, just respect him and his interests, because he is your friend.

Although I am friends with my classmate, those around us are considered best friends, and I also try to discern this friendship in our relationship. At the university, we do not move one step away from each other, always and everywhere together. And it seems to me that in our relationship she takes more than she gives. I do not particularly welcome conversations about my personal life now, and she very much even welcomes it, so I know everything about her, and she practically nothing about me. During study, we are always together, but in our free time from study we do not very often see each other, we rarely call each other. I forgot to say that we are studying by correspondence course. So you can imagine what kind of friendship we have. And I imagine friendship differently.

I remember very vividly our last quarrel. We swear only virtually, in reality we have not swore yet, but even so we said a bunch of nasty things that anyone could feel bad from such words and expressions. Although they say that no matter how friends swear, they always remain friends. I was convinced of this. The next day we began to communicate as if nothing had happened. Or maybe this was facilitated by the prospect of joint study at the institute for another four years ??? Isn't this a prime example of friendship of convenience? And although I have warm feelings for her and no matter how we swear, they will not disappear. And if I lose her too, will I think about her? And would I want to renew my friendship? After all, while we are united by the university.

I understand that each person has his own ideas about real friendship, but, unfortunately, the ideas do not always correspond to reality, it can and can be turned into reality, but not friendship. And, probably, real friends are the one who does not think about friendship and does not bother about its meaning and meaning, he is just friends without thinking. And the one who thinks about all this means that he chooses friends according to some criteria in order to create an ideal friendship according to his ideas. And real friendship is not created that way, it arises. So, you don't need to think, but you need to feel and listen to your heart. Do not idealize, but accept the friendship as it is. Better yet, don't think about friendship, just be friends!

Despite the fact that the concept of "friendship" is very complex, it is found in the life of each of us. Friendship does not have any clear boundaries, but it has a bunch of subtle nuances and questions. It is difficult to understand that a person wants to be friends with you, but to be friends and understand another is even more difficult.

Can friendship be measured?

No person on Earth can measure the friendship of another person with an accuracy of 100%. This is simply unrealistic. Still, on several points, you can determine the presence of friendship.
The desire for communication is the very first criterion for a friend in modern society. If a person wants to communicate with us, then we very often mistakenly record him as a “friend”. After all, it may be that this is just a "good friend". A good and even the closest acquaintance stems from some circumstances (school, work, neighborhood) and does not imply great emotional closeness. However, very often such an acquaintance develops into friendship.
Also, it is not always possible to call a real friend of a person who constantly calls you and asks to meet and chat. In this case, you should be vigilant and look at the behavior of the "friend". It may be that this person wants something from you and seeks help from you. But only when you need help, he will leave without even thanking for your participation.

It is not so uncommon these days to use human kindness and compassion.
However, there is a line here as well - it is not worth calculating the exact amount of aid given and received. You just have to understand what motives the person uses when communicating with you.
There is one more incomprehensibility in "friendship". After all, there are people to whom just to chat, but they cannot lend their shoulders in a critical situation.
But even in this case, there are exceptions. For example, childhood friends who can communicate at most once a year, but still maintain communication. And because of what do you think? All because of the feeling and deep confidence that this person will again support in difficult times, as before. Only then will friendship last a duty regardless of the circumstances.

What is true friendship based on?

Everyone should understand that friendship, like love, is a good relationship with a loved one. It is built on mutual understanding, mutual respect, acceptance of the merits and demerits of another and the desire and ability to give help to a friend. Only when a person genuinely worries about you and wants to lend a friendly shoulder, then this is real friendship. After all, many people communicate with others only because of their ambitions and desire to get help.

Also, it is not very similar to affection when a person communicates with you because he has nothing to do. So simple communication will never grow into friendship.

By these criteria, you can determine whether a person is friends with you or not. Of course, it is very difficult to understand whether they are sincerely making friends with you or for the sake of their interests. However, you shouldn't check people. Sometimes it's better to get some bumps than to hurt the other person's feelings out of suspicion. It is also advisable to pay attention to how you feel with your friend, because it is impossible to be closed and embarrassed with your friend.

What is friendship? It seems that the answer to this question is known to everyone. Friendship is when two or more people are friends with each other. But what we mean by the word is friendship. Some imply mutually beneficial cooperation, others help. In a word, how many people, so many opinions. However, there are also completely misconceptions about friendship.

For example, some people think that if they are friends with someone, then that someone should help them in everything. Simply put, such people are more likely not friendship, but a mercantile interest. And if it suddenly turns out that you cannot help him, and it will certainly turn out that way, then your friendship will be upset.

Others understand by the word friendship that now, since they are friends, then their friend should tell them everything, talk only with him and generally not think about personal life. This kind of friendship is more like possessiveness. Which, however, is also far from real friendship. After all, sooner or later, such a friendship can get bored and then it will get upset very quickly.

What is real friendship

Many people suffer from lack of attention, the absence of loved ones can never positively affect your relationship. Each of us is accustomed from childhood that if something went wrong, you need to immediately run to your mother. She is the kind of person who will always understand and forgive. Over time, we grow up and relationships become different. Mom will not always be there and cannot always become a support for us. That is why everyone is looking for themselves, on a subconscious level. "Replacement" for mom, in the form of a close friend (friendship aphorisms).

True Friendship is:

True Friendship is a selfless relationship that two are ready to build. It is based on sincerity, interest, and sympathy. One of the main conditions for friendship is the absence of competition. For example, a boyfriend can cause a fight between girlfriends.

True friendship just happens, not because of achievement or sympathy. You will feel a friend immediately on a subconscious level. It is he who will help you in the most difficult situations in life. A friend will not leave you in trouble, will not betray you. You will miss when he is not around, and you will always call him and look for meetings.

This feeling is very similar to a love relationship, you can say that it is even stronger, because, having quarreled with a guy, you will certainly share your feelings with a friend. Help should only be sincere.

Friendship is, first of all, love and a sense of proportion. This is what will help us build normal friendships. And always ask yourself: Do I want to be treated like this? And act in accordance with the received answer.