What is more important: to love or to be loved? “Love or be loved?”: Dealing with the main relationship dilemma Which is more important to love or be
What is more important: to love or to be loved? This question was asked by a man to himself, and not
many (1) were able to answer this question (2). What is love for us? (3)
Love for us (4) is to love someone or something. That is, (5) for example (5) you love
I mean either a certain person or in love (6) in a certain place (7). We
we all understand this well. But what does it mean to be loved? Maybe (8) love
someone (9) or something else (10). As we noticed (11) to love or be loved
(12) it is their own reflection. But there is also such a case (13) as unanswered
love. By this we do not mean (14) mutual feelings for each other among
dey. We see that love is either mutual or everything (15) leads to unrequited love. To
to understand (16) better, let us turn to the works.
In the work of Rasputin "Farewell to Matyora" we see (17) how people do not
willingly want to leave (18) the island of Matera. They will have to leave, because soon everyone
the houses on this island will be flooded (19) with water. People still live on Mtyora for the time being (20).
They have everything (21) here: beloved nature; all the events that have happened since (21) here.
They love this island, but they have to leave it. From (21) here (22) we saw
love for something, and more specifically (23) for the place of residence (24).
In Gorky's next work, The Old Woman Izergil, we will talk about how
like a hawk-man (25) wanted to be loved. When the old woman talked about him,
the hawk-man appeared to the people, they did not understand who it was in front of them. When th-
the hunter-hawk looked at them, then he saw among them the most beautiful girl, and immediately
wanted to marry her, but she refused. Everyone was amazed by his reaction, he pulled out of
her chest heart. Everyone (26) was furious, asking (27) why he did this.
In his defense, he said that he wanted her to love him. C (21) here we are
saw that a person can want to be loved (28).
Or Bunin's work "Light Breath", when a girl (29) from a gymnasium,
(30) behaves like a stately (31) woman: expensive shoes, adult-style
us hair. She was loved by the brother of the teacher from her gymnasium. C(21) like this
(32) it is clear that the main character was loved (33). But now consider (34)
when a person, the main character, loves someone. And this is in the work of Kuprin “Gra-
nat bracelet. The protagonist loved a married woman, she knew about it.
I loved unrequitedly until the last call, which the heroine's husband allowed to make.
When he called her, she was in shock (35). After the call, the hero realized that he
wants her to live. He (36) decided, since she does not love him, to disappear forever from her
life. We (37) saw (38) what we are ready for for our loved ones. We (39) did everything
to make them happy.
To love or be loved? We choose ourselves, our feelings, emotions in pain
She(40)nstve do it for us. And that (41) that we have chosen (41) is the most important for us.
For someone (42) it may be (42) the most important thing is to be loved, but for someone it is
mouth. In the question of love, few will tell you the correct answer. Ask a few
people: "What is love?" All of them will answer (43) differently. Don't think (44) that
others have told you. What matters is (45) what you think.
Commentary on the essay
The proposed topic is not open.
There are general arguments in the work, corresponding to the topic,
but there is no depth of consideration of examples on literary material; appeal to
literary works is given at a primitive level. Judgments
are superficial. Literary material is involved formally: perceptibly
the inability of the student to delve into the work and comprehend it. The student does not feel
there is no author's position, replacing it with his own understanding at the everyday level,
offers a simplified interpretation of images.
There is a repeated violation of paragraph articulation of the text in the essay.
work and logical errors.
The work is characterized by a low level of speech culture:
other types of speech errors: unsuccessful word usage, violation of combined
words, misuse of synonyms, pleonasm, poverty of vocabulary, speech
stamps.
The essay is replete with spelling, punctuation, grammatical
mistakes.
No. 1 - spelling mistake;
No. 2 - speech error (word repetition);
No. 3 - speech error: unjustified inversion;
No. 4 - punctuation error (dash omission);
No. 5 - punctuation error (missing commas in the introductory word);
No. 6 - spelling mistake;
No. 7 - grammatical error: cannot be used as homogeneous varieties
new concepts: person and place;
No. 8 - punctuation error (missing commas in the introductory word);
No. 9 - grammatical error;
No. 10 - grammatical and logical;
No. 11 - punctuation error (missing commas in the introductory sentence
research institutes);
No. 12 - speech error: the meaning of the statement is not clear;
No. 13 - logical error: the statement is not related to the previous sentence
as it assumes that the previous text dealt with
other cases, but they were not considered;
No. 14 - spelling mistake;
No. 15 - speech: incompleteness of the statement. What exactly is "everything" leading?
No. 16 - speech: it is not entirely clear from the sentence: “understand better” what?
No. 17 - punctuation error;
No. 18 - grammatical: incorrect use of a preposition;
No. 19 - grammatical error: wrong choice of word form;
No. 20 - spelling mistake;
No. 21 - spelling mistake;
No. 22 - speech error: repetition of words;
No. 23 - punctuation error;
No. 24 - grammatical error: wrong choice of word form;
No. 25 - factual error;
No. 26 - speech error: repetition of words;
No. 27 - punctuation error;
No. 28 - grammatical and logical error;
No. 29 - speech error: it would be appropriate to use a synonym without evaluative
vocabulary;
No. 30 - punctuation error;
No. 31 - speech error: misunderstanding of the word "stately" leads to its incorrect
nomu use;
No. 32 - spelling mistake;
No. 33 - logical error: inappropriate repetition of the thought of the previous pre-
positions;
No. 34 - punctuation error;
No. 35 - a speech error, it is better to replace the speech turnover with a more bookish word,
for example, "surprised";
No. 36 - unjustified repetition of a pronoun;
No. 37 - punctuation error;
No. 38 - speech error: unexpected replacement of faces. The text of the essay was
about the hero of the story, which is unexpectedly replaced by the pronoun "we";
No. 39 - punctuation error;
No. 40 - spelling mistake;
No. 41 - punctuation error;
No. 42 - punctuation error;
No. 43 - spelling mistake;
No. 44 - punctuation error;
No. 45 - punctuation error
Unspoken public opinion claims that in a couple one loves, and the other allows himself to be loved. And, as a rule, men love, and women allow themselves to be loved. And the reason is that a man will not live with an unloved woman, but a woman can live by the principle of "endure fall in love". Is mutual love possible in a couple when both love equally? And if not, what to choose: to love or to be loved? Is there a "golden mean" in feelings?
Some women find it easy to find a partner; in their lives there are good, faithful, real men who value, respect, and care for them. And others only get in the way of bad guys, whom these women classify as scum, scoundrels and
etc. by the list. But the paradox is that women themselves find them, fall in love, and live with them, destroying themselves and their lives.
Why is everything happening this way? In our modern world, marriage takes place on a voluntary basis, i.e. everyone makes a conscious choice, and if you start to build a relationship with a bad guy, this is your choice. And if, according to your opinion, your chosen one turned out to be a "goat", then who will you be next to him?
The man who deserves you will never let you suffer.. He will do everything to make you feel happy and loved next to him. And you don't have to cry next to him, except for joy.
And remember, the man who made you cry will never appreciate your tears, which means he is not worthy of them.
Of course, love does not tolerate selfishness. You can’t just accept love, you need to give it, but give it to those who deserve it. Remember, as with Eduard Asadov:
“To love is first of all to give.
To love means your feelings, like a river,
Splash with spring generosity
To the joy of a loved one.
Conventions, stereotypes or social attitudes, but most women in love choose the role of a victim, they forgive everything and endure everything, they are ready to betray their principles for the sake of their beloved man. And men do not need such sacrifices, they weigh them down, annoy, frighten them, and therefore relationships die over time. And it’s not the man’s fault, they didn’t ask you to sacrifice yourself.
In life you get what you choose. We chose the role of the victim, you got a man - an executioner who will constantly "execute" you for any mistakes. Choose the role of a confident woman - meet a real and loving man. Decide for yourself what kind of man you want to see next? The one that makes you cry or laugh?
Don't be afraid to love, without love your heart turns to stone. And the world around you becomes gray and dull. Exactly
What is better to love or be loved? reasoningon this topic have been in the head of every girl more than once. How would you respond to question you?
Slavic women wish get married from birth. They are sure that happiness can only be found in marriage . Coming to the peak age of 30, they get married in a hurry. Argument becomes age or child .
The girl no longer thinks about feelings, the main thing is that husband will love. After 1-2 years unloved starts to get annoying. His excessive care and love strangle a woman . Good from the side family: loving man , wife children. But partly in this situation suffering every member of the family.
Why do women live in hopeless marriage?
Mom said
Mothers assure their daughters that living in a marriage where only they are loved is comfortable. After all, the husband will be accommodating, will give flowers, money− into the family, change will not be. Mothers are sure that daughters need just such half . She will be able to manipulate a man, influence his decisions and arrange a better life for herself.− just a commander in a skirt! Girls not only hear the mother's words, but also see her behavior with her father. Developing with a consumer attitude in your head, you will not meet true love.
fall in love
In rare cases, a person manages to fall in love. fall in love over the years of marriage - rather an exception. Over time, the disgust intensifies. The wife falls in love with another man, cheats. Children see betrayal and are suffering. Husband saves marriage, because he is afraid of losing his family. Psychology people is based on an imaginary happiness . Everyone lives together, but they hurt each other.
In this case better divorce. Both have time to find harmonious relationship. Children will be happy to see satisfied parents. Divorce worries will pass. It will be followed by understanding and awareness of the situation.
Scientists prove that everyone needs love. Person suffering if he has no one to take care of and share his love. He also dies when he is loved unrequitedly. Marriage pity does not bring joy.
Pros and cons of one-sided love
Eternal dilemma , which does not give rest to women:love or be loved? Let's let's figure it out!
Pros and cons one sided love
- Ladies love to be taken care of. Even if the person is not interested woman, then his sympathy amuses self-esteem. It's nice to have an admirer.
- The girl can let take care of yourself for profit. In pursuit of a fat wallet or prospects, she forgets about feelings and passions . A good option for implementation, but will it fall in love?
- Young ladies receive male love, which they lacked in childhood. Such partners are called wealthy "daddies", who are twice as old as the chosen ones. Relationship initially hybrid, since there will be no intimate balance and equality in the family.
- Girls get into relationships with pushy guys out of mild sympathy or guilt over their time. In the first variant, sympathy does not always develop into love. In the second option, the relationship is initially unhealthy. They include insecure girls who sacrifice themselves or are afraid of loneliness.
- Girls choose marriage without love in the desire to leave the parental home. V case with alcoholic parents is a good option, but would it be better with an unloved husband?
- Female marries due to an unplanned pregnancy. If positive the test was the last impetus for marriage - it's worth getting married! If it's an "accident"− the union will not make the child and parents happy.
Even positive options are questionable, as they may not last long. There is one that will outshine the unloved boyfriend. Can receive wealth, fame, but forever remain unhappy. Such women in the future wander from one lover to another.
Famous people about love:
- Chekhov was convinced that mutual love is the key to happiness. In life, it's the other way around. They love you, or you.
- Charles Dickens considered love to be a pleasant flaw in humanity.
- Henry Thoreau exalted love as the strongest support for man.
- Karl Marx was sure that to love and not be loved is a misfortune.
love statistics
What is more important for a person: to love or to be loved? As a result of the study, people of different ages responded to questions about marriage motives.
- 50% of men and women join marriage out of love for your loved one.In 80%, such couples can boast of satisfaction with marriage .
- Because of similar interests, 30% of men and women get married. Such marriage cannot be called indifferent, but passions it doesn't have it. It is built on friendship, support, but not love. Studies have shown that almost 75% cases such couples are happy in union.
- Only 5% of the participants answered that they got married for their own benefit. As a result of this marriage only 20% of men and women achieve happiness!
On the Internet you can find 1000 cases when women got married for convenience and were unhappy. Others fell in love with their husbands after several years of marriage. Researchers say unequivocally, to create marriage needs sympathy, mutual respect, common interests and intimate compatibility.
Early Marriages often end in divorce. Love is not enough for a strong relationship, especially one-sided. Many couples are disappointed that love has passed in everyday life. Feelings need to be experienced first. gradual test of life together. If you are not ready to give in, love will not save the union.
How to develop mutual love
- Learn to love. Love is art . Not everyone owns female but it can be trained. When you have sympathy for a person, develop a relationship. Time will show the outcome. Show your feelings, learn to love. Give up selfishness and selfishness. Realize that you need to love not for something, but in spite of. People miss love in search of non-existent ideals. They are the ones who ask later. question : love or be loved! Stop measuring everyone to your standard. Listen to your feelings!
- give love. Women complain about men. They say they don't know how to love. Ladies, in turn, are also in no hurry to give affection. See how many wives talk to their husbands! Such people do not want to give flowers and invite them to the cinema.
Show love in gaze, smile, words. Satisfy your partner wanted and to satisfy you. Meet him from work as the most important person. Appreciate his rest, work, personal space.
consumer attitude : you give me flowers, but I don’t suit you. Watch your appearance, take care of your femininity, do not skimp on feelings and affection. Let's do more. The male will thank you.
- Appreciate feelings. Don't associate love and profit. Dating a wealthy man feelings - stupid. You are destined to become rich, and such people also cry− you know! Of course, loving a criminal or a loser is also a kind of neurosis.
Spend your time in a decent society, then you will be less likely to meet an unworthy partner. When feelings have arisen appreciate them. Even if the guy does not yet know about your love. He may like you too. Develop relationships. Try get to know each other more before joining marriage .
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What is more important: to love or to be loved? “All love is a great happiness, even if it is not shared,” this well-known Bunin phrase reflects the understanding of love as happiness in a person’s life. And it’s not entirely important whether you love or are loved by someone ... Ivan Alekseevich Bunin sees the eternal mystery of love and the eternal drama of lovers and unrequited love in the fact that a person is unwilling in his love passion: love is a spontaneous feeling, inevitable, passionate and often tragic, because happiness is unattainable...
Such is Bunin's story "Easy breathing". Its composition is such that from the first lines we learn about the tragically cut short life of the schoolgirl Olya Meshcherskaya, we see her portrait “with amazingly lively eyes”, embedded in the “oak cross”. The writer uses a ring composition, starting and ending the narrative with a description of this cross. Olenka was killed out of jealousy - an everyday drama. “Easy breathing” is very fragile, it disappears, it is simply interrupted, as the “deceived Olya” Cossack officer did. But Olya was extraordinary: grace, elegance, dexterity, sparkle in her eyes ”- this distinguished her from other gymnasium students.
To reflect the theme of love, Bunin uses a special compositional technique - antithesis, opposition. Olya's "light breath" is contrasted with the ordinary vulgar world, the "strong, heavy cross" on her grave; the handsome aristocrat Malyutin who seduced Olya - a plebeian, a Cossack officer, an unsightly and unpleasant person; Olenka's stormy life and early "female experience" - a fictional life of a "middle-aged girl" classy lady. “Easy breathing” is also impudence, lightness, naivety in love and even Olenka’s death. Despite her "experience of a woman", Olya is pure and natural, she retained her "light breath", which "scattered in the world, in the cold autumn wind."
A master in depicting the world of human feelings, including love, was Alexander Ivanovich Kuprin, the author of the story "Garnet Bracelet". I recall the words of Kazansky, the hero of the story "Duel", that "love is a talent akin to a musical one." Yes, and in the story reflected in the story “Garnet Bracelet”, there is a real fact - the love story of a modest official for a secular lady, mother L. Lyubimova.
One of the key fragments in the story is the name day of Princess Vera, where all the characters in the story gather. The gift of a stranger who wrote to the princess for a long time has a symbolic meaning. The garnet bracelet itself is low-grade, but the thick red garnets light up with living fires, like blood (this is an alarming omen, according to Princess Vera). Zheltkov gives the most valuable thing he has - a family jewel, his mother's bracelet. This is a symbol of his hopeless, selfless love, which none of the heroes of the story, even General Anosov, met in his life. It is he who, in a conversation with Vera, asks the question: “Where is love, then? .. disinterested, not waiting for a reward? The one about which it is said - "strong as death." Love must be a tragedy, the greatest mystery in the world!”
Here is such a “greatest secret in the world” that was presented by the telegraphist Zheltkov to Princess Vera, it was she who turned out to be stronger than death, because by his passing from life Zheltkov proved its truth, just the kind of love that happens “one in a thousand years” ...
Reflecting on the values of love, each of us must decide for himself what is more important for him: to love or to be loved. It is much more important to remember the wise advice expressed not only by Bunin, Kuprin and other writers and poets, and once, like A.S. Pushkin, to say:
And the heart burns again and loves - because
That it cannot not love ...
Bugaevskaya Diana, 11th grade
Teacher Maslennikova Galina Vladimirovna
Essay on literature: “What is more important: to love or to be loved?”
Love is a sublime and bright feeling. What is more important: to love or to be loved. I believe that there is no single answer to this question. It seems to me that both are important, so I prefer mutual love. How warm it becomes in the soul of a person in love when he realizes that his feelings are mutual. It is quite difficult to achieve sincere mutual love. It takes a long time to look for that one and only to become truly happy. Sometimes you have to go through many years to feel what it means to love truly. So, love is diverse, but still it is very good if it is mutual.
To prove my point of view, I will allow myself to turn to works of fiction. Let us give an example of mutual love from Leo Tolstoy's novel War and Peace. The main character of the novel, Natasha Rostova, having married Pierre, realized that her happiness lies in the family. Children and husband made her happy. Although outwardly she had changed for the worse, she had gained a lot of weight, but this did not bother her at all. The main thing for her and Pierre is mutual love for each other. What seemed surprising to me was that Natasha got the better of her husband. She commanded him, but at the same time she took care of him. When Pierre worked, Natasha achieved complete silence in the house. Pierre obeyed his wife, and he liked it. At the end of the novel, we learn that Natasha and Pierre already have four children, and this is a confirmation of mutual love and happiness.
In the work of Kuprin "Olesya" mutual love is also shown, only she was sacrificial. Namely, through sacrificial love, we understand that we are loved. In the center of attention is Ivan Timofeevich and Olesya. One day, hunting in the forest, Ivan Timofeevich wanders into the house of a grandmother who lived with her granddaughter Olesya. After this incident, Ivan Timofeevich became a frequent guest in this house, because the characters fell in love with each other. They encountered many difficulties along the way. One day, Ivan Timofeevich learns that a constable came to these women demanding that they vacate the hut before a certain time. Ivan Timofeevich helps them by sacrificing his gun, which he gives to the constable. Of course, the constable leaves them alone. Olesya, having learned about this act of Ivan Timofeevich, feels love for him. At the end of the work, we learn that our heroine also sacrifices for love. Firstly, she decides to go to church, although she knew that this act would not lead to anything good for her. Indeed, she experienced humiliation and bullying from women. Then Olesya overcame herself for the sake of love, and she and her grandmother left this place. We see that our heroes loved each other, were ready to make sacrifices for the sake of a loved one.
Let me draw some conclusions from the above. Love plays an important role in human life. This is a great happiness - mutual love. Prove to your loved ones that you care about them. And, of course, love each other!
Sokolova Maria, 11th grade, secondary school No. 1 named after Ivan Nechaev, urban settlement Chistye Bory, Kostroma region.