Should I call a man first? Why you should call him first

05.09.2019

"If a man does not call, then he does not need it" is a fairly simple truth that every woman needs to learn. However, this opinion is not always plausible and reflects the real essence. In this article we will understand why a man does not call. A man's view of this situation will help each girl to draw new conclusions about the stronger sex.

Desires - no, goals - no

It doesn't matter if there was one date between you or several. Women have one incredible feature that is not subject to male influence - the creation of an illusory world around them. While you have come to the conclusion that you are ready to date a man and build a serious relationship, your potential partner could change his mind and choose the right life partner.

The fair sex can decide in a few minutes whether a partner is suitable for her or not. Men, on the other hand, can doubt, compare, choose and analyze for a long time. For the stronger sex, connecting your life with someone is a serious step that cannot be taken thoughtlessly and hastily.

What to do? It's the first one that doesn't ring. The man's view of this situation is quite simple: give him time. The girl also should not sit idly by. One call is enough to understand whether the chosen one is in doubt, or has completely cooled off towards you. If there is still a spark, then there is no need to impose or push. Learn to be patient and the wait will soon pay off.

If there is no fire, why call?

The fair sex asks the question: "Why doesn't a man call or write?" The man's view of this situation is quite transparent - duty calls are not for him. Not every chosen one is ready to endure total control from a woman, answering calls every 15 minutes. For such men, as a rule, the phone is a device with which you need to call emergency services or contact the right person for an important and urgent matter.

What to do? Do not impose - you will not retrain a man and will not be able to train him like a tame animal, having taught you to call you five times a day and exchange duty phrases. The guy will call himself when he has a serious conversation with you.

Playing on thin strings

Let's see why the man does not call. The look of a man is sometimes incomprehensible to the fair sex. Due to their naivety, girls sometimes do not notice the cunning game of "cat and mouse". In this situation, you need to understand that the guy knows perfectly well that you are ready to reveal your soul to him, so in his eyes you are nothing more than a fragile, but appetizing mouse that you need to play with before dinner. Such men behave confidently and experienced. They manipulate your patience and trust by deliberately ignoring the promise to call.

What to do? Do not forget about pride and pride. Your man, who is ready to devote his whole life to you, will never play with you, and certainly does not want to see you as a victim. Manipulators must be cut off immediately.

The truth is simple: he didn't like you

There is a simple answer to the popular women's question: "What could be the reasons why a man does not call." The look of a man shows the only truth: you are not his type and he does not see a future life with you. Let's be frank, self-confidence is good, but we should not assume that we are obliged to please everyone and everyone. After spending time on several dates, none of you can be sure that you will become a soulmate and live happily ever after with each other. Sometimes the first impression plays an important role, especially when one of the chosen ones created an illusory image for you that does not correspond to reality.

What to do? If you are sure that this man was sent by fate, then you need to be assertive. Call the stronger sex on a second date and give him a chance to look at you from the other side. If after this date the man does not call you, then you can safely continue the search for a new chosen one. Men, as a rule, are stubborn, and it makes no sense to put pressure on them.

There's nothing more to wish for

It's no secret that every woman makes rash (or deliberate) mistakes. As a rule, there is a simple answer to the question: "Why doesn't a man call?". The look of a man suggests that after the first date the woman gave the man everything he wanted from her. Perhaps the chosen one was so attractive and interesting that you shared dinner and bed with him. The next day, as if by magic, the guy disappears and no longer appears in your life.

What to do? The answer is simple: if this situation is familiar to you, then you should reconsider your priorities. Perhaps sex on a first date should be made taboo, even if you have the most charming man in the world. As a rule, the stronger sex believes that if a woman gave herself to an unfamiliar chosen one, then this indicates her frivolity and accessibility.

Could be better

There is a main reason in psychology why a man does not call. The man's view is quite simple: he just didn't like sex. It doesn't matter if coitus happened on the first date or a few months later. This situation is divided into two fronts: the man is dissatisfied with you and was not fully satisfied; the man blames himself and believes that he could not satisfy you. In any case, the representative of the stronger sex does not recognize this woman, it is much easier for him to ignore the calls.

What to do? Calm down and analyze the situation. You will be lucky if a man is frank with you and admits what exactly did not suit him. In other cases, you just need to remember all the details of the evening. Perhaps, in a passionate outburst, you did not notice how you hurt your chosen one, or during sex you thought only about your pleasure, forgetting to give unforgettable minutes to your partner.

Pride Above All

Why doesn't a man call a woman? The look of a man sometimes shows us about his pride. If there was a conflict or a petty domestic quarrel between partners, then it is likely that for the next few days you will completely ignore each other. Here, too, the situation is divided into two fronts: the man does not consider himself guilty and is waiting for the first steps from his lady; the man admits his guilt and he is so ashamed that he cannot call and annoy the woman.

What to do? Analyze the situation. Sometimes pride can ruin a relationship, and any petty quarrel can lead to a break. Think about whether the subject of the dispute is so important, because of which you and your chosen one stood on opposite sides of the barricades? If not, perhaps the first step towards reconciliation needs to be taken. A girl must understand that she is often the instigator of conflicts and it is stupid to demand regular apologies from a man for a partner. Try to take the first step, call your man, apologize. And then, when the relationship returns to normal, you can try to adequately talk and exhaust the problem.

You are not the navel of the earth

There is a clear opinion in psychology why a man does not call a woman. The look of a man proves that he simply does not need the fair sex. If you are dear to your partner, and he really appreciates you, worries and cares, then he can always find a few minutes in his busy schedule to notify you of employment and leave good news. The same applies to girls. If she does not call, then you should not have false hopes and build illusions - you are simply indifferent to your partner. Be sure, even if a man was abducted by alien creatures, his phone is dead, and there is not a single soul within a radius of 100 kilometers, he will still be able to warn you.

What to do? Be patient and designate yourself "waiting hours". Perhaps the representative of the stronger sex really had an accident and there is no way to contact you. This means that after a while he will definitely make himself felt. Your task is to pacify the anger and ardor within yourself, not to let anger and hatred flare up into a blue flame. If a call from a chosen one exceeds the "waiting hours", then most likely the man simply lost sight of you. In this case, you just need to take a deep breath and exhale and realize that there is less one more manipulator and indifferent partner in your life.

Darling, shall we play?

Many girls ask themselves: "Why doesn't a man call, what are the reasons?". The look of a man shows that in nature there is a type who simply loves to play hide and seek. The rules are simple: today you spend a wonderful evening, and the next day the chosen one disappears, blocking all contacts. For several weeks, you go through several stages of hatred, and when you accept the situation and reconcile, then the missing partner miraculously reappears in your life and requires attention. Such a scheme can be repeated for a long time, and you can be sure that this circle will never open. Do you want to know why? Everything is simpler than you think: you are a convenient option for a man. He is like a free cat, he himself comes when there is not enough affection and attention, but also suddenly disappears when he misses other hands.

What to do? Do not have false hopes and do not make plans. A true man who will make you happy will always be by your side, and he does not need any games. Say "No!" manipulators and gamblers.

true truth

Now you know why a man does not call or write to a woman. The look of a man is not always pleasant and sweet. However, being at a conscious age, you must understand that pride and pride can save you from unnecessary ballast, which definitely cannot give you true happiness and love.

Learn to accept the truth for what it is, even if it is bitter and unpleasant. There are no reservations - you either inspired a man or you didn't. If the representative of the stronger sex liked you, then he will give you all the jewels of the world, wrap you in silk and give you If you did not suit the potential chosen one, then he can play with you, because you are a comfortable woman who is always an example, feed and console when a man needs it. Love yourself and respect your feelings, then you will be able to meet a worthy person to match you.

Should a woman call the first man?

Listen to how girls usually think: “I was on my first date with a man yesterday. He liked it very much! We sat for an hour and a half in a cafe, discussed the past day. He spoke so charmingly! Then he suddenly said that he had to leave urgently in order to prepare a report for tomorrow's meeting. He said he would call or write. In general, 5 days have already passed, but there is no news! I'm desperate! What to do? Maybe call him first and remind him of yourself?

There are a lot of questions like this. Caught in love, the woman is ready to run after the prince almost to the ends of the world. This is the time to stop and think: “Does a man love me? Is he worthy of attention and to call him first?

The situation through the eyes of a man

To find the correct answer, let's look at the state of affairs from the side of the gentleman. After dating online, he met a woman. I imagined her a little different, with a different form of communication. And on a date, as soon as I heard her voice, I immediately lost interest and the whole meeting I only thought about how to politely end the conversation and leave as soon as possible.

Should a woman call first in this case? Of course not! If that same magical “chemistry” did not arise on his part, then will it arise after phone calls and messages? Best case scenario, a woman runs the risk of simply being used as an "alternate airfield". After all, a man will not refuse prey that goes straight into his hands! You don't need any care or expenses - take it and use it. In such cases, the relationship is reduced to without obligations: the gentleman comes on a date without gifts at a convenient time for him in the event of an unfortunate refusal from another, more pleasant woman.

Might be another option. To do this, imagine the situation: a man who you not I like it, starts calling, hinting at meetings. What do you feel about him? I want to turn off the phone, remove it from contacts and disappear forever from sight annoying cavalier, right? Annoyance, irritation, hostility - this is an incomplete range of sensations when you are harassed by a candidate you don’t like.

A man experiences exactly the same feelings if he doesn’t like you, but decides to take the initiative into his own hands. Any message from a woman, even an innocent one, will be interpreted as an obsession! And men don't like it! Why? Because in this way you kill the instinct of a hunter in him, preventing him from showing himself as a conqueror. The more initiative from the female side, the less from the male - like this perspective? What if he answers? veiled refusal(busy, on a business trip, a lot of things) or will not answer at all - this is additional, right?

Should I call the first man

We remind you that the key to future strong relationships are active actions of a man in the initial period of acquaintance. Did you like the woman? He will call and offer to meet! Do you really think that he will sit and wait for an initiative from a woman, counting minutes, days and hours? No, this is not a male approach.

In summary, we strongly recommend that girls are not the first to call or send any messages to men after the first date and in general in the initial stage. Let the representative of the stronger sex prove himself! Show your disposition to him with bright feedback, but do not run ahead of the engine.

Even in subsequent periods of a romantic relationship, it is not recommended to often call and send messages to a man for no particular reason: it only irritates him, reducing both your value and the value of the calls and messages themselves.

We wish you patience and self-control in love affairs.

5 March 2018

When we fall in love, we grow wings that carry us at breakneck speed towards new feelings and emotions. Without thinking about anything, forgetting the rules of decency and expecting an immediate response, we sometimes destroy relationships that are still fragile.

Modern women have become so active that they suppress or scare off gentlemen with their behavior. Not having time to get to know each other better, the ladies, without waiting for the call of their lover, begin to cut off the phone. Is it good or not? In this article, we will try to figure out from the point of view of the psychology of relationships whether it is worth calling a man first.

Can I call the man first?

The question is rather difficult, since there is no consensus. Feminists believe that women have the same rights as men. Others recognize only the traditional approach, giving priority to the strong half. To understand whether it is possible to call the chosen one first, it is necessary to consider the problem from both sides.

The first group - those who do not consider such behavior appropriate - argue their position by sharing their successful personal experience that "if I had not decided to call, we would not be together now", "he thought that he did not like me, and , if I had not dialed his number, we would not have been married and happy.

Their opponents are convinced that men by nature are gambling hunters who must achieve everything themselves, including the chosen one, otherwise they will quickly lose interest. If we consider both positions as a whole, then both are right. It all depends:

on the nature of the man you are going to call (how he will react to such an initiative);
specific situation;
how comfortable you are with doing it.

Active women have a life in which everything happens according to their will, since their chosen one was initially indecisive and passive. And for those who did not call, the man turned out to be the leader in the relationship. Unfortunately, at the beginning of an acquaintance, it is difficult to understand what type your lover belongs to. Here you should rely on previous experience.

Perhaps strong women on a subconscious level choose their followers or are so confident in their own abilities that they are used to occupying a dominant position in everything. Well, if you are not one, then do not overpower yourself, but calmly wait for the call of the one who cares about you.

Each case is unique. Cavaliers who call first do not always become worthy candidates for husbands, and those without initiative are often not hopeless.

There are a number of reasons why you should not call a man first. If you ignore them, then it will not play in your favor. You may get an unflattering impression of being a frivolous and annoying woman. But this will not lead to anything good.

If you want a normal relationship, you must follow the following rules:

Don't be pushy or overbearing. Do not dial the number endlessly and be interested in his affairs. Be patient, wait for the response.
If for some reason you were refused, do not humiliate yourself by persuading a man to meet. This behavior will not achieve anything, but you can easily aggravate the situation.
Have you decided to call first? Try to arrange the object of your sigh for easy communication. Never pick up the phone when you're in a bad mood. A man is unlikely to like it.
Do not call first if a friend did not give you his phone number. Not everyone will like this lady's initiative. He may simply think that you are chasing him.
After spending the night together, the first call must be from a boyfriend. By expressing impatience, you risk losing his respect.
During the period of courtship, it is also not advisable to take the initiative, especially if you see each other often, but have not yet taken place as a full-fledged couple.
If you quarreled and the culprit of this trouble is a man - hold on steadfastly, let him take the first step.

In what cases can you still call a man

There is nothing wrong when a girl calls a guy first at his request. For example, when she is released, or for some reason he does not have your cherished numbers, and he gave you his phone number himself.

Should a woman be the first to call a man on other occasions? No one can forbid the ladies to do this, but first think carefully about your speech and follow some recommendations, using harmless female tricks, so as not to become a victim of an absurd situation:

Come up with a convincing pretext containing some intrigue, indicating the place and time. It could be an invitation to a football match. Speak confidently and decisively, without mumbling into the phone. As a rule, the offer to spend time together is perceived positively by men. Of course, there is a possibility of rejection. If this happens, show your indifference by hinting that you have plenty of guys like him.
Come up with some problem that you cannot solve without his help. A man will be pleased to believe that he is needed. You can simply consult on the operation of a computer or other equipment. If a response is not received, feel free to hang up - he definitely does not fit the role of a life partner.

Has your friend tried to court you for a long time, but did not wait for reciprocity? Decided to give the guy a second chance? In this situation, there is nothing reprehensible in the fact that you call him.

What if the man didn't answer the call?

Your first meeting went off with a bang and gave hope for further developments, but the gentleman does not appear and does not pick up the phone. What does it mean? There are a number of reasons why the guy you like does not call you back.

Let's analyze the most common of them:

Collecting trophies. Some men in this way try to amuse their ego or assert themselves in the eyes of the same insecure friends. They meet girls, get her number like a trophy, and disappear. These guys usually have a huge list of such contacts stored on their phones, as a kind of collection or just in case, they suddenly come in handy.
Vivid impressions. The man is not going to start a serious relationship at the moment, but meets women for fun. He picks up the phone in a romantic mood, thinking for a moment that he needs a good woman, but soon realizes that he is not ready to give his heart to one and only.
Politeness. An intelligent person, by virtue of his upbringing, cannot offend you by immediately refusing a further meeting. He thinks that by taking a phone from a woman, he will do a noble deed, thereby making the girl pleased.
A loss. There is also a more banal explanation for the silence of a guy - the loss of a number or a breakdown of a mobile phone. Maybe he doesn't mind continuing to date.
He has another. If a new acquaintance has a girlfriend or wife, then they are unlikely to call you back. Your meeting for him was just a little flirting, nothing more.

What to do if the man himself has not called for a very long time?

What to do if the guy you like has disappeared from sight, and you no longer have the strength to sit patiently by the phone? There may be plenty of reasons. To find out whether it is worth making plans for the future, find a suitable excuse and call yourself. This will allow him to determine the further development of relations by his intonation and the content of the conversation.

If the conversation took place in a positive way, and the man again does not call for a long period, then perhaps he does not dare to offend with a direct refusal. There is no need to imagine a tragedy in your imagination or look for flaws in yourself. Sincerely believe that you will meet the love of your life and it will definitely come to you.

Is it worth it to call a man after a quarrel if he himself does not call?

The gentleman undeservedly offended you and is not in a hurry to correct the situation. Is it worth it to call a man after a quarrel? Definitely - no. Do this once and he will understand that you can twist as you like.

If a man truly experiences feelings, then, despite his temper, he will carefully weigh everything and be sure to show up. And at the same time he will understand that such a number will not work with you.

If not, then your friend does not appreciate the relationship enough, and found an excuse to break it off. Or maybe this manipulator trying to subdue you. If the quarrel is your fault, then analyze how serious it is in order to stop communicating.

There is an opinion that the first step should be taken by a man, and this applies to almost all spheres of life. And it would seem that such a trifle as “Call first or not?” can be confusing. So let's see if it's worth taking the initiative and calling the man first?

Of course, it is up to you to decide whether to call or not, and even if they tell you to “call”, you should not obey unconditionally. If you are sure that you are doing everything 100% right, then do what you want. But today we will talk about why it is still worth calling and what are the exceptions.

But remember, as soon as you start to take the initiative (in calls or not), your action is automatically assessed. This can be compared to a store in which they want to see you and drag you in by force, if only you buy something, or, on the contrary, there are already so many customers there, and you are useless. This is how women are perceived by men.

Therefore, if you decide to call first, be prepared for the fact that:

The guy just didn't want to call you first.
He has someone or he arranges a new meeting.
He just sits and waits for your call, because he managed to tame you.

No matter how busy a man is, if he wants to call, he will call.

In addition, your call, according to the man, means only one thing - i want to sleep with him. And even if it's not really true, the man still thinks so. You have to put up with it if you call first. Or you should only call when you really want to.

You can call with such a request a “friend” with whom you can have fun, you can have a drink and relax. Only in this case, after a couple of such calls, the man will understand that everything that happens is necessary first of all for you and will begin to build a “jelly young lady” out of himself. And then the man will lower the price tag, which will certainly be. He will remove everything that was before sex - bars, cafes, restaurants, gifts and leave only what he himself likes.

And if this is your option and it's more convenient, then please. Then you can safely call him, and even if the man has someone, take him with his availability. In this case, the worst thing that can happen to you is moving to the bottom of the list. But not forever. In any case, until the man is convinced that nothing shines on the other.

The second time you can call first is one night relationship. Usually, this happens on trips, business trips, through mutual friends in some city. If you decide to spend one night with a person and know that you will no longer need his number, then go ahead. But it only works in this way. Otherwise, the man will begin to think that you want something more or fell in love with him.

The third option is provocation. But in this case, you need to do everything very carefully. At the very least, if you play too much, you can get a not very good reputation, and you will be considered a whore or a girl with a high price tag.

And I don't know which is worse. After all, you can break out of the category of “whores”, and many want this. But lowering the bar is already much more difficult. At best, you will not have anyone at the moment, at worst, never.

When does provocation work?

This works if you turn on the Pusi mode, which we have talked about more than once. That is, you play, if that makes sense. And most importantly, at any time you can show your teeth. And when you stop calling first, and the man begins to make claims that you are not calling, you can easily turn everything into a joke. Or sincerely surprised, saying, “What should I do?” The main thing is not to make excuses and not come up with excuses, because otherwise the man will understand that you are on the hook. You should really treats men indifferently, and only then can you be a provocateur. Otherwise, it's pointless.

In fact, women do not have a constant thought about who to sleep with, unlike men. They are versatile and often have many interests. If so, then why do most of them sit by the phone and wait for him to call? By behaving in this way, you only encourage the male sex to think that apart from them and a successful marriage, nothing else interests you.

Alas, it just happens, because a woman has two extremes - either she does nothing and waits stupidly, or she is so busy that you can’t break through to her. There is simply no other option.

Of course, a woman should be busy, but not only with work. You must have a life! And if a man asks you “Are you free on Friday evening?”, you will not answer “Yes, after work I am free”, but “The girls and I are going for a walk, if you want, come with us.” Only then you will not have a question whether to call him or not. He will call himself to pull you out of your circle.

So many women sin with this, and not only those who broke up with the former. In most cases, a man perceives this call as a reason to sleep, which is not surprising. After all, it is unlikely that you will call him drunk and invite him to the library. And worst of all, when he takes advantage of it, and your price tag drops. And to raise it, or rather not let it fall, is possible only in one case - when you really do not care. If this is not the case, then it is better not to experiment.

In conclusion, we will analyze a few examples from life.

“I have changed a lot. She began to take care of herself, found a new job and divorced her ex-husband. But now I want to call him again. Is it worth it?

If for the sake of just sleeping and in fact you don’t need it, then you can. If there are any feelings left or you want to prove something to him, then you should not.

“Is it okay to call a man and ask him for something?”

Imagine that you come to the store without money and ask for clothes on credit. Surely you understand your position. When you call a man, the essence is the same. You want to get something without paying for it. If you called and offered him to sleep, and after that you asked to do something for you, this is one thing. And if immediately with a request, then why does he need it?