What is female friendship advice from psychologists. The positive and negative sides of friendship. Varieties of female friendship
Why is it needed at all? And is there a difference: female or male? Any thing, by definition, is sexless. This is something that "will not break, will not come apart from rains and blizzards." And a friend (girlfriend), accordingly, is the one who "in trouble will not leave, will not ask too much - this is what a true faithful friend means." Everyone, of course, remembers this funny children's song. And, probably, many could say with confidence: "Yes, I have a faithful friend!"
Where do real girlfriends come from?
As a rule, they follow us straight from childhood. Sometimes they appear during their student years. That is, when our soul is still pure and not poisoned by the multiple influences of various conventions. Children's friends are those people who know us the way God created us. With all our flaws, deformities, fears, eccentricities and other flies in my head. On the one hand, this is great. That is, with them we can feel the most natural and open. As a rule, we trust them with our most intimate secrets, reveal our souls, share our deepest problems. Moreover, they themselves are ready to be a vest that absorbs all girlish tears for a variety of reasons. Each person desperately needs such a friend. Especially in the years of formation and the first steps into the world of people. Without him, as without hands. Sometimes it is he who helps us make the main choice in life. At least he is aware of our doubts and is sincerely trying to help us.To some extent, our first friends play the role of psychotherapists in our lives, just as we are also lightning rods for them in difficult life situations. For the time being we are in the same boat. In the same weight and life situations. Plus or minus the same thing. The same age, the same school, institute, the same social circle.
But as we grow older, the areas of our contact with people change. We have our own circle, our own individual profession, our lover. Sometimes one for two. And this is where the first doubt and the first conflict of interest arise. A friend from the closest person suddenly, in a strange way, turns into a rival, a competitor. And the strong childhood friendship begins to burst at the seams. And if it does not collapse, then it experiences colossal conceptual overloads.
Now the former frankness and knowledge of our weaknesses can become the subject of unwanted discussion where we would not like to advertise our weaknesses for the time being. What seemed so sweet and natural before, when we told our closest friend about our bad childhood habits or peculiarities, suddenly becomes or may become a weapon in her hands. Which she, sometimes without knowing it herself, can use and put us in the most terrible, uncomfortable and losing position.
Sometimes ours become our worst enemies, just blurting out our innermost secrets to an outsider, a third person. Sometimes this can be done even unconsciously, out of stupidity, in a fit of emotions, according to mood. And then, what seemed harmless before becomes a big problem in communication.
And how caustic compliments or simple remarks can sometimes be. Something like this: "What a gorgeous dress you have, I was also looking for something similar for the curtains!" “Oh, what a cool suit you have! I want to buy my mom the same! " We learn all the most interesting about ourselves by communicating in a female team, and most of all - where our best friend is.
She knows things about us that we no longer want to make public. If she has enough tact, she will not divulge other people's secrets. And if not enough? So she's not our friend anymore?
How insidious female friendship can be
Let's digress from the ideal and face it. Lack of competition is possible only among saints, blessed and spineless. Women always, even involuntarily, compare themselves to other women. And sometimes the friendship between them is like a deal or an unspoken "agreement" in which everyone gets what he needs. Someone needs to set off themselves favorably against the background of an unpresentable girlfriend. Someone to get a ticket to a more sophisticated society or material bonuses. Someone needs a girlfriend to drain the negative and always talk about their problems. And someone uses her as a free housekeeper, childcare, homework and diploma writing. Sometimes a friend can be an excellent guide or filler for empty temporary niches, a clown and a massage therapist, an accomplice in shopping trips and an arbiter in family disputes, a summer cottage watchman and a diplomatic seal in communication with relatives, a drinking buddy and a panther, a translator and reminder, an alarm clock or sleeping pill, a co-founder and the interlocutor, etc. And that's not bad! All of us are needed by someone, supplementing, replenishing and saving someone from anything. In principle, this is why people are friends. When they do it out of the kindness of their soul (that is, out of friendship), disinterestedly and mutually, then there are no questions. But very often such "friendship" turns into a game with only one goal, and it becomes similar not to friendship, but to psychological or other. Tell me, why is it needed by someone who is just being used?But the most acute contradictions arise when there is a clash of interests. Just imagine, you doted on each other and suddenly, unfortunately, fell in love with the same guy or are applying for the same position. Whether you like it or not, you have to choose. Or sacrifice yourself and the love of your life (career) and nominally remain a friend, but deep in your soul to hate your rival, hiding behind beautiful and noble words about friendship above all else. Or take what belongs to you by right and put the love of your life (a desired position) higher than your childhood, even if it is a true friendship.
Which one will you choose? Which would I choose? Hard to say. I was lucky, I never got into such situations. I was separated from my friends by life, distance, family, different life scenarios, time ... A lot of everything destructive happened in my life. But who knows, it would have happened if there were those nearby who knew me as flaky and could give the most important advice, acting at the level of the soul. Sometimes life takes us long distances, and we can only mentally turn to each other to tell about the most intimate and just be heard by someone. But how often I wanted to say to someone: “You don't even need to advise. Just listen to me, listen with your heart. " It is for this that, in my opinion, a real friend is needed.
True friendship
It's the same as in love. There is a real one, and there is a fake, temporary, conditional ... The same is in friendship. Whatever it is. Male or female. Is a completely disinterested thing. She either is or she is not. And if she is, then the question of whether to fight for a man or leave him to a friend is not worth it. There can be only one way out. The choice of the man himself. Otherwise, neither sacrifice nor victory makes any sense. And all the participants will understand this very soon. Life itself puts everything in its place. Including our true and imaginary friends. Which, like loved ones, cannot be infinitely many. Of course, you can love the whole world. Have an endless number of friends online, like everyone and everything until they lose their pulse. But at the same time, remain an endlessly lonely person who simply has no one to talk to heart to heart.
Check yourself, if you have no one to talk to other than your cat, if you are afraid to trust your many friends, because one can deceive you, the other can set you up, the third can be used, the fourth can be thrown, then even if you have two thousand likes every day, you should think about making a friend. At least one person with whom you can just talk or just keep silent, and you will receive nothing for this, except for warmth and not invented, not virtual, but real care for your person. If you still do not have such a person, then look for him. Online or offline. But always in the "real" version.
This does not mean that he should definitely be there. You can also communicate remotely. The main thing is that you and he want to be yourself at the same time, and not play some role for your own benefit.
In companies, and in personal matters, the question often arises of whether female friendship exists. This topic is very topical and has surfaced more than once in everyday discussions. But before finding out its causes and consequences, one should consider what, in principle, these relations are.
They note that friendly relations are close communication, mutual understanding, trust, the presence of common interests and emotional attachment. Unlike other kinds of relationships, partnerships, business, affection between acquaintances, these are based on emotional sympathy.
Like love of a sexual nature, the presence of friendship between two people carries the aspect of affection and feelings "in spite of". The difference between these feelings is precisely sexual attraction.
As in love for a partner, friendship can start quickly, but the process of relationship itself takes a long time and painstakingly.
Women's and men's friendship: what is it?
So, the meaning of this concept, in principle, bears in itself an emotionally trusting character, contains a feeling of attachment and the presence of common interests. In this case, the emergence of such a complex of feelings is not limited to the framework of gender. This means that it depends on the personal qualities of the individual.
By the way, a similar list, and perhaps much wider, can be presented to the feeling of love or being in love. And if you start to differentiate love, if possible, to feel and penetrate it in relation to the male or female sex, then the results may come out directly opposite to the popular opinion about friendship.
The misconception that there is no female friendship is most likely generated by the women themselves. Take, for example, the 18th or 19th century, when it was a woman's lot to marry or get married in principle.
The man hardly had an interest in the presence or absence of his wife's affection for her friend, in fact, because the weak half of humanity still remained weak, and any feelings and desires, other than those concerning the husband and family, were not regarded as anything worthy or a valuable unit.
So, why there are misconceptions that female friendship does not exist:
- the weak side of the population itself invented this myth, or rather, brought it out of personal experiences. For what purpose? Yes, absolutely simple - to justify yourself, your beloved in not too well-behaved deeds. And so, they say, there is really no girlfriend, and I did not betray anyone. But this is a personal factor that has nothing to do with the primary sexual characteristics;
- as always happens, one of the “greats” said something like that, and those for whom the phrase was beneficial, picked up and actively began to use it;
- more or less objective reasons coming from men. The fact is that a woman spent the lion's share of her existence on earth with her husband and children, taking care of the house. We all know how, after all the household chores, there is no energy left for anything - what friends and acquaintances there are! The strong side of humanity in the literal sense of the "breast" is not tied to the family and children, respectively, "Strong male friendship" also more. Therefore, among the strengths of humanity, it is generally accepted that only they are capable of true fraternal emotions.
But again, such feelings as "love" and "friendship" appeared already in a rather late era in the development of mankind and are not a property of a biological species, but of an individuality - personality. It is not a certain gender that is capable of such sincere emotional manifestations, but a certain personality. Otherwise, if you talk about psychological differences and the different abilities of the sexes to feel, then female friendship may turn out to be stronger.
Mirror neurons are responsible for empathy, trust, and empathy. Women have more of them than men, so they are more emotional, easier to forgive, trust and empathize.
If we proceed from this logic, in this case, the strong side of humanity is incapable of strong feelings, since it is more sober in its assessments. Therefore, when speaking critically about whether there is friendship between the ladies, it is worth remembering that strong and real feelings of any kind are the prerogative of the individual, not gender.
Nevertheless, there are still certain differences in gender relations. And they are connected, first of all, with the psychology of sex.
How is male friendship different from female friendship?
Strong representatives of humanity are distinguished by sober reason and rationality, while male solidarity plays an important role in them.
Remember how many times the guy / husband left "Meet the boys for beer / fishing", "Well, dear, my brother has a problem there - it is necessary to settle it" etc.
In addition, the strong side of humanity is less picky about trifles, to a large extent less envious, more guided by its own opinion than by the views of others.
For the beautiful half of the population, everything happens a little differently:
- a sense of rivalry, a desire for superiority is developed. At the same time, women often think not in terms of changes, but in comparison with others: she is thicker than me - I am thicker than her, her husband is successful - my drunk, she looks young - I sewed up in pots, etc. unhealthy rivalry, namely a game without rules. Increased emotionality makes itself felt, and instead of a rational plan for improvement, a plan to destroy the rival often matures;
- different logic of thinking. Guys usually solve everything at once, while a fight is a direct way to clarify the conflict, after which they will not necessarily disperse as enemies. Ladies, on the other hand, rarely solve an interpersonal problem directly and immediately. Usually everything happens like this: I heard - I saw - I was offended - I thought - I discussed the incident with my friends - I thought again - I wove an intrigue;
- women are more inclined to conversation, men to action. Friends gather to talk somewhere and express all the accumulated indignation, then discuss, then express indignation again. Men, on the other hand, usually meet for some common cause (remember football and fishing!), Where it may not come to frank conversations. Men are not inclined to a long discussion, with the exception of intimate life - here they are even worse gossips than girls;
- guys think straight, girls ... Pan's Labyrinth. From one SMS without an answer, a woman is able to create an hour-long scandal. Moreover, before she also made a crazy cycle of emotional thought. This is reflected in relationships as well - men are less inclined to indulge themselves with the thought that everything will work out if everything went wrong. Girls look for thousands of reasons and excuses for themselves and those around them, build hopes and refuse to see the obvious;
- a strong half of humanity has a different perception. They are not used to digging into the truth and looking for a catch. For girls, the opposite is true.
The difference in thinking also gives rise to some differences in behavior in the framework of relationships of any type.
Myths about why there is no strong female friendship
- The beautiful half of the population is not responsive in matters of assistance and mutual assistance. It's at the root
wrong. This misconception is based on the fact that men are more prone to action. Mutual assistance from the stronger sex is based on specific actions - men are not inclined to talk about problems: either they solve them, or they are silent. For girls, everything is somewhat different. Often we come with a conversation to a friend not so that she can solve this or that dilemma, but simply to speak out and hear advice. The psychology of female friendship is based on the importance of being heard, and this is already seen as a partial solution to problems; - Friendship boundaries end where a man begins. The statement is, in principle, true, however, it takes place regardless of gender. The strong half of humanity quarrels over girls as often as the weak. This question has actually caused much debate about the existence of friendship.
Fortunately, the fragility of a relationship most often does not depend on gender and not on claims to "Handsome prince", but from interpersonal rivalry between girls.
The best friend is not the stylish little thing that comforts you when you are away from your boyfriend. It is rather a person who will be delighted with all the heart at how amazing you look.
My own desires are the law for me. I always carefully listen to what the voice of reason tells me, I turn to the Lord if I need help. And I am sure: female friendship exists!
Female loneliness is rather the absence of a close friend.
The girls understand the meaning of the expression “three friends” in their own way: the third is always the subject of discussion for two.
Life is a joyless phenomenon, sometimes, however, a friend gets upset.
There is no female friendship, they are united by the unity of views.
Women's friendship is a wonderful thing. Your friend will never say that in this situation you behaved incorrectly. But he will immediately begin to pour into your ears that this young man is not worthy of you.
Often, ladies prefer loneliness to friendship. Compared to exciting love, it seems gray and tasteless to them.
You don't have to tell your boyfriend what flaws you have. Your friends will be happy to take care of this.
When talking to each other, the ladies portray friendly solidarity, trust and frankness, which usually does not happen in conversations with the opposite sex. But female friendship is only an appearance, in fact, women are constantly on the alert, they do not trust each other. And this, I must say, has good reasons. André Maurois
Read the continuation of the best aphorisms and quotes on the pages:
There are few joys in life, but still it happens that a friend is not lucky. - Yanina Ipohorskaya
There is something of a boxing handshake in the kiss of two women. - Henry Louis Mencken
Women kiss each other when they meet, because they cannot bite. - Magdalena the Pretender
It's easy to forgive an enemy, but how to forgive a girlfriend? - Wanda Blonska
My peers age so quickly that it's just nice to watch. - Betty Davis
My friends, there are no friends in the world!
Female friendship is when two women envy each other in silence.
Did you know that girls are friends in threes, that is, three people each, so that the two can discuss the third.
A woman can enter a burning hut alone, but you only need to go to the toilet with a friend.
“Alcohol, men and smoke! Let's get drunk for the whole week! Well ... this, of course, only if there are no tickets to the theater ... "
Women's friendship has one advantage: a friend will never tell you that you are wrong, but for the hundred thousandth time she will tell you what a bastard your boyfriend is.
The fact that real female friendship does not exist is a well-known fact. The fact that there is no friendship between a man and a woman, too. The question is only one: so with whom is the female sex to be friends ???
Men, playing with friendship, like with a soccer ball, leave it intact, and women, playing with it, like with a crystal phase, break it sooner or later.
Women are able to give to friendship only that and so much that and in what amount they borrow from Love.
As long as the interests of the girlfriends do not overlap, female friendships can continue to exist.
Women's friendship can be simply called a non-aggression pact.
You don't have to tell your man about the existing shortcomings, as your beloved friends will do it with great pleasure.
Friendship between two women is nothing more than a conspiracy against a third female.
Joy is rare, but sometimes a friend is unlucky.
The best friend can be called the one who really forgets about her problems, because she sincerely understands that your problems are more serious.
Real female friendship is when you stumble and fall, and your girlfriend first laughs at your absurdity, and then falls next to you.
Who is a girlfriend? A friend is the person whose closet contains half of your wardrobe and vice versa.
If life has given you a friend, be sure to tell her that she is good.
A true friend knows how to hear between the lines, to hear what has not been said.
The most beautiful moment in my life is the moment of realizing that in my life there is a friend, a like-minded person.
You know, you will always be my best friend because you know too much about me.
A childhood friend is the person who will help you in moving to a new apartment, but a good friend is the person who will help cover all traces of the crime you committed.
Praise your friend in public, and scold only face to face.
Female friends do not exist, there are only like-minded people.
I love my friend most of all for her shortcomings, which you can talk about ...
A friend is a female friend who notices everything and forgives everything - even dignity.
Women's friendship: they were friends, they were friends ... and they made friends ...
Sometimes the girlfriend is the enemy on standby
Girlfriends can be fake, but enemies are always real ...
Girlfriends help us live and hinder our work
On weekdays, friends should appear only by invitation, and in misfortunes - without an invitation, by themselves
Girlfriends come and go, and enemies pile up ...
Real friends are those who are devoted to you, who betrayed you, who are devoted to you ...
My girlfriend! Let's put all the points ... from A to Z ...
Girls, of course, know how to keep secrets, but together ...
Girls! Who are you friends against?
A real friend, she is like skin - close to my heart and always supports
The secret of happiness: never compare health, wife and salary with others.
A real guy should smell like alcohol, sex and her perfume.
The average woman prefers to be beautiful rather than smart, because the average man sees better than understands.
The best friend, just like the special forces in one person, will come to the rescue anywhere in the world: along with alcohol, smoke, dry rations and a shoulder to cry on.
If my friends can do without me easily when I feel bad, I can easily do without them when I feel good.
When you fall, a real friend will not reach out to you, but will fall next to you and laugh like crazy ..
No female friendship? Lies ... My friend is a reflection of my soul.
There are no non-beautiful women, there are blind men !!!
There is something of a boxing handshake in the kiss of two women.
“Ethologists - experts in the behavior of animals and humans, declare unequivocally: there is no friendship between a man and a woman, and there cannot be. Relationships between men and women of reproductive age always have a secret or explicit hint of sex on at least one side, and on the male side - to show almost completely .. ”Ethologists - experts in the behavior of animals and people state unequivocally: there is no friendship between a man and a woman can. Relationships between men and women of reproductive age always have a secret or explicit hint of sex on at least one side, and almost always on the male side. Except in rare cases when a man is satiated with female attention, but then in this situation, hints will necessarily be from the female side. The unconscious imposition of a friendly form of communication usually comes from a woman. For her, this is one of the ways to collect a “collection” of instinctively second-rate admirers, on the principle “so that there were”. In other words, at least one of the "other ...
A friend is a friend. You call her at night, tell her that you fell in love. And she will simply say Sleep in a hoarse voice! and hang up. Then he will call back and say: Open the door for me. Just quiet.
They say: “there is no friendship between a guy and a girl” and “female friendship does not exist”. Well, who am I to be friends with then ?!
There is no female friendship, there are only those who are ready to assent in exchange for the same service.
There are two blind people in the world ... You - because you do not see how much I need; and I - because I do not see anyone but you.
You are purple on me, then speckled on you
Men play with friendship like a soccer ball, and it remains intact. Women play with friendship like a glass vase, and it breaks. (Anne Lindbergh)
Don't always say what you know, but always know what you are saying.
Friendship does not mean knowing someone for a very long time ... It means accepting into your life someone who will never disappear from it.
I used to think I was in love, Now I realized that I loved to think 🙂
I give a smile to everyone, Friendship to some, Love to one ...
Where are you friend?
We are cute .. Beautiful ... Happy ... We love chupa-chups ... Sometimes we cry at night ... We smile ... We laugh .... We are together ... We are friends ....
There is nothing better in the world than eating candy with your best friend!
There are only two ways to live life. The first is that miracles do not exist. The second - as if there are only miracles around!
And for me, a real friend is the one who will crack at first, and then ask: "Damn, does it hurt?"
It is true that the very best friends can bring you crazy, but without them our life is not so rich.
Buying a fur coat, the lady asks the saleswoman: - Can I ask to have it delivered to my house, but before ringing my doorbell, by mistake, would they first drop in to my neighbor?
Women's friendship: the girl did not spend the night at home, the guy phoned all his friends in a frenzy, but he never found her ... three are still asleep ...)))
Women's friendship for x * d does not change !!!
Judging by your new girlfriend, I left, taking everything from you ... and even the taste ...
He asked me if I love him. I proudly replied that no, I don’t. He laughed, hugged me and whispered: - but I have to 🙂
True friendship is when the message “I’m sick” is written to you “what have you eaten at all, oh * eaten ????”
Let them say that there is no female friendship, let them chat, but I know that ...
There are a lot of jokes and jokes around the relationship between the two girlfriends. And most confidently assert that female friendship does not exist. Even the seemingly strongest friendship rests only on the commercialism of each of the participants in the relationship. How true is this statement, is there really no place for a sincere relationship between two women? Let's find out everything in order and in detail.
What is friendship
According to psychology, friendship is a relationship that is based on selflessness, trust and community in interests. This type of relationship does not depend on the gender and age of the parties; friendship can be long-term, short-term, situational, etc. But these are all medical formulations, and if you continue in the same spirit, few people will read to the end the opus about female friendship and its existence. Therefore, we will speak in simple, accessible words.
So, friendship is when you have a friend. And who is this person? And such, as a rule, is a person who is ready to listen to your problems to the end, give valuable advice and listen to yours. The fair half often have girlfriends for this.
And, despite the fact that the overwhelming majority believes that sincere and absolutely trusting relationships between girlfriends cannot exist, psychologists are sure of the opposite. It is female friendship that is considered the strongest and longest. At the same time, it is not necessary to call a loved one with whom you share both grief and joy and sadness as a friend. She can be a friend who occasionally drinks a cup of coffee with you, a work colleague who knows how to listen and understand your problems.
If frank conversations with this person go beyond discussing new clothes, political news, parenting, work, then, most likely, a friend is next to you. He silently sympathizes with negative family relationships, discord with a loved one, sudden illness, conflicts at work, etc. And, as a rule, most often strong friendships arise between female representatives of about the same age and social level.
Why do we need friends
Women, unlike the strong half of humanity, are more emotional and sensitive. They need to "release" the accumulated emotions. This is how our defense mechanism works, because our nerves have a lot of experiences. To relieve the accumulated fatigue from problems and “let off steam”, you need to speak out.
For men, things are different. For them, other methods serve as relaxation: drinking, hunting, fishing, in extreme cases, fighting. On rare occasions, men converge because of the desire to get hold of a sympathetic shoulder. Yes, they are pronounced, but the emphasis is on completely different points. For them, the result is important - that is, the crowning of the conversation with gatherings and going on an active type of rest.
Why Friendship Interferes
Psychologists have been conducting research on this particular issue for more than one year. What prevents female friendships from being maintained. As it turned out, envy comes first. Let's look at situations that are familiar to us.
- We often notice that one of the two girlfriends is beautiful, the other is not very. What motivates a beauty to keep an ugly woman near her? Of course, we are not talking about everyone, but still, cases are not rare. So, psychologists give a specific answer. Against the background of an ugly girl, it is enough to be just pretty. Men without fail will turn their gaze to where there are fewer flaws.
- Whatever the beauties of the members of a friendly union, it cracks when one of them marries. The problem is especially aggravated if a single girl is forced to while away her days alone year after year. Turning into an "old maid" she asks the question - why is she better? Why is everything so good with her, and no one needs me? At such moments, the girl thinks little about the fact that the reason may lie in her own behavior, habits. And it doesn't matter that a friend is sincere about friendship and has supported a single person for many years. Moreover, such participation causes even greater rejection. It turns out she sympathizes with me, which means she regrets.
- Third Party Intervention. Believe me, as soon as a third person appears on the horizon who wants to enter into an alliance, there is a danger of ruining friendly relations. It is impossible to devote the same time to two girlfriends at once. We also do not forget about the jealousy of girlfriends. How could she be with Natasha when I have such problems. Was it really impossible to come and support. Or, together with Olya, they went to meet new guys, but they didn't take me. So what if I refused before, maybe there was free time and I could be able to keep them company. There are many such examples.
- Gossip. By the way, with the friendship of three or more girls, conflicts must arise on the basis of gossip. It is unlikely that the female half of humanity will ever get rid of the habit of discussing. And very often "washing the bones" concerns one of the girlfriends, with whom there was a misunderstanding. No one gives a guarantee that a quarrel can happen and stop, who was told other people's secrets. So wait for a debriefing and accusations of gossip and long language.
- Inability to keep your mouth shut. This is also a fairly common reason for losing a girlfriend. Having shared the most intimate, she hoped for your decency and entrusted you with her secrets. And you, inadvertently, took and laid out everything to the person who immediately spread the information to acquaintances, friends. As a result, the friend looks ridiculous, and you are reputed to be the first gossip and traitor. And it doesn't matter that your conversation with the person about your beloved girlfriend was in your sympathy. You shared your concerns about your dear support. Only the fact that you inadvertently revealed someone's secrets will come up to the top. And do not forget, when transferring information, it is usually overgrown with unpleasant, but very piquant details.
- Love for one person. Yes, this factor is one of the most destructive in female friendships. Here we are talking not just about discord, but terrible, treacherous and destructive military actions with the use of the most difficult types of weapons: meanness, slander, gossip, treachery. And we have heard a lot about the extreme measures to eliminate the rival, who was in the recent past the best friend. Let's remember works of art, films, crime dramas, etc. Having fallen in love with one man, women do not want to give up their happiness. Often, the object of desire uses the situation for their own purposes and flirts with each of the girlfriends. Thus, the passions run high. In the end, the trophy goes to one of the friends, and the other goes to the side. The second option, the rival is eliminated in any way, up to the crime, the third option - a man falls in love with a completely stranger girl. Fourth, the girlfriends themselves give up the irritant and choose friendship, and the guy is “expelled”. The last option is the rarest. Few of the ladies in love voluntarily abandon their beloved; rather, a girlfriend will be removed from the path.
When friendship begins
According to psychologists, the strongest, most sincere and trusting friendship begins in childhood. It can be a kindergarten, a school. Indeed, in those years, few of the children faced psychological trauma due to betrayal, their psyche is clean as a white sheet of paper. You can draw both friendship and love on it.
Over the years, our constant friends grow up with us, and only she, the closest girlfriend or girlfriend, knows all our troubles. And if, being already established people, we will never tell everything that is in our souls to new friends, then we will lay out all the ins and outs to her, because we have long been connected not just by strong friendship, but by common secrets.
And most importantly - if friendship is truly strong, sincere and real, then it never goes away.
This is how grandmothers communicate, living out their days - they will not hesitate to make a call to their old girlfriend. They share their health conditions, high blood pressure, and complain about their children and grandchildren. They may even grumble at each other, but at the same time they do not end the relationship and will definitely continue to call each other.
Female Friendship Myths
Now let us study carefully the myths that claim that there is no female friendship. In this case, everything is based on some specific factors.
Who you don't need to be friends with
In this life, you need to "arrange" everything so that only positive surrounds. The environment is also of great importance. Among relatives and friends there should be only decent and honest people on whom you can rely. We suggest that you take a closer look at the characteristics of those with whom you do not need to make not only friendship, but also friendly relations.
- She is not happy for your progress. Use a filthy broom to chase the one that turns into a gloomy personality with your luck at work, meeting a loved one, receiving an award, etc. A good friend will rejoice with you and wish you even more achievements and good luck.
- She only has negativity. Not only does a friend darken her life, but you are constantly tuned into bad things. You got an apartment - the area is bad, you bought a cheaper dress - it fades. Whatever you share, she will definitely find something bad in it. Look, over time, you will turn into a negative lump.
- Questionable compliments. You have repeatedly got lost - a friend said something approving or skillfully humiliated, lowered the level of self-esteem. Listen to her compliments, in which she is more likely to try to "bite you", make comments, although it is better to stop communicating with her. Believe me, there is a bad feeling in her - acrimony, envy, resentment. It will only get worse from now on.
- It takes up all the space. She now and then postpones the scheduled meetings, comes on the day of the agreement with a great delay, frustrates your plans. This attitude speaks of the friend's selfishness, for whom only what is important to her is important. She is not punctual, irresponsible, and unnecessary. Just think, can you rely on such a person? Definitely not.
- It's one thing, looking at a friend to strive for the best, and another to compete with her. When she finds out about your promotion at work, she shouldn't do the same by any means, but strive to improve her attitude towards work. You boasted that you finally bought yourself a fur coat - in return - it was presented to me 3 years ago. They have prepared a delicious dish - she has known the recipe for several years. It seems that she is annoyed by your joys and as if she is keeping track of them.
Well, and finally. The most offensive thing is to lose a close friend whom fate divorced. It seems that they did not quarrel, did not conflict, did not share one man, did not envy. And life has developed in such a way that for many years there has not been a single piece of news, let alone contacts. Here you have to let go of the relationship and not return to it. Time passed and everyone had their own circle of friends and interests. Perhaps your friend no longer has the desire, as before, to communicate closely with you. Therefore, after the first unsuccessful attempt to restore contacts, find yourself out of this venture.
Everything that has been described in relation to your girlfriends is directly related to you. Do not flatter yourself and believe that you are flawless. Reread the negative factors that break strong friendships and check yourself for them. Maybe it makes sense to reconsider your behavior and attitude towards others?
Goodbye to everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.
It is impossible to measure true friendship; it is needed no less than air. What about the female friendship that most people call a myth? Is there a female friendship? Does it happen at all? Why is there no female friendship? What is female friendship? Maybe the best friends of girls are only diamonds .. To the question “ Do you have any friends?"A modern boy or girl can answer" Yes, 200 "or" 300 ", because so many people are on the list of friends on Vkontakte. They say about such people: “ Friends are darkness, but there is no faithful friend". But it is necessary to separate the concepts “ friendship"And" acquaintance».
Why is there no female friendship? Is it so
For a woman, as for every person, " without a faithful friend - a great melancholy". Sometimes we need to communicate like a woman, without a masculine mind and logic. Someone calls his mother a friend, who can always help, really be happy or his own sister. But unlike kinship relationships, friendship is an individually selective relationship with the mutual affection of the participants. The question arises - who should you choose for the role of a friend?
Each in her life certainly met both with cases of true devotion, mutual help and support between women, and with servile pseudo-friendship, beneficial only at a certain time. Strong female friendship, real, without mistrust and flattery, is not a rare phenomenon. Another thing is that there are more obstacles to its presence than reasons for its preservation.
Why is there no female friendship? For many women, friendships break down when family comes along because friends fade into the background. For some, female friendship exists until ... until a potential beau appears. Competition constantly interferes with friendship. The biggest bone of contention between women is envy, the reason for which is sometimes ridiculously petty. Friends are not only known in trouble. A real friend shares positive feelings with you - she sings with happiness when you feel good!
Friendship is an art that depends on both sides. It is a treasure to be found and preserved. The intimate relationship between the fair sex can bring incomparable pleasure. If in communication you are frank and discuss not only fashion and men, if it is not femininity that comes to the fore, but friendship, then we can sincerely congratulate you.
Is there a female friendship? Some girls believe that there are no true and faithful friends and never will be. Everyone has their own opinion, but I will answer "YES". And everyone will have their own symbol of female friendship.