Statuses about the coming new year are cool. New Year is a time of fairy tales and magic. An interesting selection of New Year statuses. Funny and funny quotes

There are many ways to draw attention to your person on social media. But there is an option that can definitely be considered a win-win. By setting cool and funny New Year statuses for Contact or Odnoklassniki, you will not only add likes and subscribers to yourself, originally congratulating the virtual public on the holiday, but, most likely, you will find new interesting acquaintances.

Cool statuses for guys and men

Good Santa Claus, give me the first installment. Santa Claus, besides laughing, pay off my mortgage.

A Christmas tree is better than any mistress. You change every year, you part without a scandal. And she does not demand her gifts back!

New Year is such an amazing time when you eat Olivier salad, tangerines, champagne and hopes that tomorrow morning this champagne and other alcoholic supplies will still remain.

Time to tie up with Olivier and tangerines. After all, what does excess cholesterol and sugar in fruits bring people in just one night?

A difficult task is to prove to the children that you are the real Santa Claus and to convince your wife that you can't even pull off a fake one.

Answer the question "What is good and what is bad?" in the New Year is difficult. He did everything well: he took a walk, drank, fell asleep under the tree - the next day is bad. And if January 1 is good, it means that New Year was celebrated very badly.

Grandfather Frost, give me a carefree life for the New Year, universal adoration, the opportunity to lie on the couch and get everything on demand. In short, turn me into a cat.

A man goes through three stages of his relationship to Santa Claus: you believe and wait; no need for a grandfather, I want a Snow Maiden; you yourself are Santa Claus and advise the Snow Maiden to roll up her lip.

New Year's to-do list: spend the Old Year; celebrate New Year; meet the old new year. Some kind of vicious circle turns out.

You need to prepare for the New Year in advance. On January 1, put up a Christmas tree that was dropped yesterday and start rehearsing the holiday.

Every year on this day they ask me: “Why are you so sour as a missing Olivier? Where is your New Year mood? " It's time to understand that this is ... Mine. !

Childhood ended - this is when on New Year's Eve you and your friends begin to dance not around the tree, but around the toilet. Combined, damn the builders, a bathroom!

Four stages of growing up a man: 1. You believe in Santa Claus. 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3. You yourself are Santa Claus. 4. Those who still believe in Santa Claus run up to you on the street, tug at you by the beard and yell: “I knew that you exist!

With the coming of the New Year, the sellers of men's socks and shaving foams begin to rub their hands happily, while the unfortunate guys rush around the city in search of “give me this, I don't know what.

New Year is not an easy time for a man. He tries to convince his child that he is Santa Claus, and his wife that he is NOT Santa Claus.

I want in the New Year to have almost everything, as Anton Semenovich Shpak dreamed: three music centers, three heaped up laptops, three iPhones of the latest model, a suede jacket ... also three.

Someday Santa Claus will give me a toy railroad, I will put the status "happy" and never go online again.

The approach of the New Year is felt when tangerine skins start appearing here and there, mixed with beer mugs and glasses of unfinished tea, on your computer desk.

The paradox of the New Year: the food and drinks on the table are always the same, but the adventures after them are different.

Funny New Year statuses for girls

Dear Santa Claus. Please, make it so that in the coming year my neighbors, who have a 24/7 love of music and renovation, suddenly break down all the karaoke and punchers.

Do you know why Santa Claus and Santa Claus are men? Because no woman will allow herself to appear in front of the public in the same outfit every holiday!

Today I have in the fridge "don't eat, this is for the New Year", and tomorrow it will be "eat quickly, otherwise everything will go bad."

I am for the division of responsibilities in the family! I will decorate the Christmas tree for the New Year, and you - me!

A sign of our time: set a funny status for the New Year - you will soon meet the man of your dreams, who will say that all his life he has been looking for a girl who does NOT believe in omens, but has a sense of humor.

If you want everything to be awesome for you in the New Year, on the night of January 1, put an unwrapped chocolate bar under your pillow. Now you will definitely have everything in chocolate!

I say to my own: "Darling, give me such a New Year's gift to remember." Answers: "Are pills for sclerosis suitable?" ...

Soon I will go on a New Year's diet! I will give up sweets and switch to dry and semi-dry.

As a child, on New Year's Eve, we waited for Santa Claus to come. And our children are waiting for, when, finally, mom and dad leave for a visit.

I love the New Year for taking a break from the stove. First, the gala dinner magically turns into a brunch, and then gradually turns into a long lunch.

Santa Claus, buy me a new iPhone, a tablet, a red Ferrari, a house in the Maldives ... Oh, that's it. Buy me money, in short, and then I'll figure it out myself.

I told my husband that I would really like a fur coat for the New Year. Presented ... Potatoes, carrots, onions, beets, herring.

Guys absolutely dislike gifts. The limit of their dreams for the New Year is the Snow Maiden in a latex suit, and not the role of a generous Santa Claus with a bag.

I'll give it to Santa Claus in good hands. The third day he sleeps under the tree, takes me for the Snow Maiden and demands to tell where she was. Yes, I don't remember where I was, I met the New Year!

A Christmas tree was born in the forest, grew for itself, grew. Eh, if only the Snow Maiden would bring my boyfriend! And Santa Claus, so be it, let him give - a cute Pig, fulfilling wishes.

I sent out a commercial offer to everyone - Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Joulupukki. But no one wants to take my extra pounds and give it to those in need.

Grandfather Frost, you probably left on foot last time, because all year I came across only deer. I beg you, this time you go by carriage.

Guys always get the best, not even New Year. The Snow Maiden is young and beautiful, and Santa Claus is old, with a beard and a red nose, which makes one think about his way of life.

On the eve of the onset of the long-awaited and magical New Year holiday, people are preparing to congratulate each other with the help of original and very cute congratulations. But in the modern world it is not enough just to say: "Congratulations", you also need to show the whole world through social networks your mood on the eve of New Year's Eve. True, it is not always possible to find the right words, so when coming up with meaningful statuses about the New Year 2016, pay attention to the following options.

Dear women! Under no circumstances ask Santa Claus for a fabulous life for the New Year. He still cannot make you a princess, but he will definitely send Ivanushka the Fool as a gift.

My dear and beloved mother-in-law! Congratulations on your 2016 coming year.

- Tell me: do you believe in the existence of Santa Claus?
- Which Santa Claus? It does not even exist at all! Grandfather Frost himself told me about this in secret.

When he sends congratulations to all friends for the New Year, do not forget to call back to mom.

They say that on New Year's Eve all desires can come true, even those who did not want to do this throughout the year. So start dreaming now.

Falling face-down on a salad on New Year's Eve is worth remembering that it is a little springy.

The smartest philologists know that Santa Claus can actually be called a Low Temperature Pensioner.

New Year's Eve is a wonderful time when a festive dinner flows smoothly into breakfast.

Santa Claus, I beg you! Let someone guess me for the New Year!

Winter is not just created in white colors. The universe itself makes it possible with the arrival of the New Year to try to start your life anew.

Today I saw how in our yard a man took out the tree to the trash can ... Weak! But there are only 2 months left ...

The first disappointment in the coming New Year: "I can’t get more and more ... Food just doesn’t fit ..."

Do you know what a real crisis is? Another week after the New Year, to finish eating December salads!

We have good traditions: if by the New Year a person did not manage to complete some very important business, he is given 2 weeks for a second chance.

Remember, tomorrow is 1 of 365 pages in your new book, 2016. Try to write it better than you finished the last one.

Santa Claus! Give me a magic wand for the New Year, and I will fulfill the rest of my wishes myself.

If Grandfather Frost ran across your path with a sack of gifts, you should know that somewhere nearby they celebrate the New Year very merrily.

New Year's Eve smells of tangerines, pine needles and Soviet champagne.

With age, a man's priorities change and if at the age of 5 he was waiting for the arrival of Santa Claus, then at 15 he would not mind meeting the Snow Maiden on New Year's Eve.

At first, everyone believes in the phrase: “As you celebrate the New Year, so you will spend it,” and then for a long time they cannot understand how to wean themselves from eating at night.

With the help of such short statements in honor of the arrival of the New Year 2016, you can slightly appease the symbol of the coming 12 months. Upcoming holidays!

Finally came the long-awaited time of the tangerine scent, discharged christmas trees, good mood and new hopes for the future. In the hustle and bustle of the pre-holiday New Year's days, it is very important not to forget anything and have time to congratulate everyone. This will help you statuses about New Yearcollected on our page. It is no secret that many users of social networks have dozens or even hundreds of friends and acquaintances as friends, each of whom you want, but there is no time to congratulate. However, you can do this by setting the status on your page in the form new year greetings... Now everyone who visits it will read it and smile, accepting from you sweet congratulations on the upcoming New Year. What can we offer you?

New Year statuses

Here you will find a selection of the best New Year statuses:

  • funny and romantic;
  • about Grandfather Frost and about Snow Maiden;
  • short and long;
  • in poetry and prose;
  • about New Year and Christmas;
  • universal and specifically about the year of the Snake;
  • clever aphorisms about the New Year and funny sayings about its celebration.

The choice is so wide that every day you can delight the guests of your page by constantly changing the statuses on it.

Winter statuses

Wishes in verse

What could be more wonderful than New Year's greetings in verse? Easy to read, cheer up, and most importantly - there is so much to wish for! On our page you will find both romantic and funny new year poems, which can be set as a status or simply left on a friend's page as a congratulation.

Features of our site

We would like to note that everything on our website is created for the comfort and convenience of users.

  • Do you want to add your favorite quote to our page, which is not in our collection? We will gladly decorate our section with it.
  • You especially liked the funny status pro snowman? You can vote for him and increase his rating in the list of other phrases.
  • I wanted to leave a comment on the cool quote about snowflake? And this can be done easily and simply with us.
  • Lost in a variety of statuses and don't know which one to choose? Make your search easier: you have the opportunity to choose the best winter statuses for a certain time (for example, a week or a month).

We want to give all users of social networks who have become guests of our site, a great mood and the brightest, colorful pages on these New Year's holidays. Original winter quotes and merry New Year's greetings chosen by you on our website will become a real festive decoration of your page in any network. We hasten to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

The main problem of the New Year is that food does not fit anymore!

Better than a mistress can only be a tree. Meek, silent. You dress her up in whatever you have to - is silent. You undress - not a word!

Alcoholic, Olivier salad. Yes, everything was fine ... In the morning, shouts, "Give me a basin urgently!"

The first of January is not a new day in the coming year. It's one full morning.

On New Year's Eve, you become a real man when you dance with friends around the toilet.

Appeal of civil servants to Santa Claus. Dear Santa Claus with a white cotton beard, we don't need gifts, increase your salary!

A drunken man climbed onto the New Year tree and waited for who would need such a gift!

A week before the New Year, cockroaches do not appear in the kitchen. Preparing a New Year's surprise.

A woman's dream. I would like a man to shower me with gifts, and I to him with all passion, affection and tenderness ... .. read a poem!

I would like the New 2016 to be without war!

Miracles, and nothing more: every year the same dishes are on the table, but the adventures are different.

Respect the proportions. Remember that on New Year's Eve, the human body should be 80% alcohol, 20% Olivier!

Many on January 1 are waiting with horror for the second coming on the 13th, some are afraid of meeting the holiday according to the Chinese calendar. It all depends on how strong you are.

New Year is like instant sex, you prepare for a long time for the sake of a second pleasure.

Today we are visiting neighbor cockroaches, the wife of her husband informed. The neighbors went to Egypt for a week.

Expect children in September because with whom you celebrated the New Year ...

Most women on New Year's Eve go on a diet, give up sweets and switch to semi-dry.

Sleep, sleep my girlfriend. Nearby Olivier and a mug.

A long tradition. I quit drinking and smoking. Going in for sports ... awful dream!

What can I give you? I had the imprudence to ask the newly-made spouse from his wife. It's all the same, the young woman answered. The main thing is that the fur is natural!

Statuses about 2016 year of the monkey

On this terrible New Year, Santa Claus will not bring gifts to you or me. The monkey will take it - this is definitely its year.

Where will the monkey come from? From the cartoon about Mowgli, the optimist - the father - answered his son.

Ad. I will lease roller skates to a monkey.

The year of the monkey is coming soon. Don't forget to congratulate your girlfriend.

You can find a huge collection of statuses and quotes on deeplyrics.ru

New Year statuses for Odnoklassniki 2016

The schoolboy asks for Santa Claus. Dear "old man", do it in 2016 so that the children in the class do not tease me. Thank you in advance. Vova Turd.

And how many battles do you have in the game "Tanks", the little boy asked Santa Claus.

Technology does not stand still. A rotating Christmas tree for lazy kids. What a joy!

Why celebrate New 2016, the smart girl asked. He will come to us himself.

What to strive for. One boy in childhood, on New Year's Eve, fell asleep with an unrolled chocolate bar. Now he has everything in chocolate!

What to give you for the New Year, my mother asked her daughter. Give what you want, she answered. The main thing is touchscreen with headphones.

Childhood is when you are waiting for a holiday, and ten minutes before it starts, you are cut out.

On the Internet, the New Year is not celebrated, but updated!

Friends! Not far off, New 2016 is coming soon, statuses will help us, meet it with optimism. Maybe on a festive night you will get your legal half…. Olivier salad !!!

New Year is perhaps the most wonderful holiday that not only children, but also adults are looking forward to. This is the time for gifts, fulfillment of desires and real magic. On the pre-holiday days, children write letters to Santa Claus, and parents run around the shops in search of cherished gifts for their children. Traditionally, the holiday begins to be celebrated on the evening of December 31, before you celebrate it, you need to spend the outgoing year. There are many jokes that the holiday starts on December 31st and ends on January 7th at least. Still, because during the New Year's holidays you need to do so much: meet all your friends and go around all your relatives. On this magical holiday, everyone deserves warmth and attention.

In 2019, I wish you 12 months without illness, 53 weeks of all the best, 365 days of happiness, 8,760 hours of success, 525,600 minutes of love, and 315,360,000 seconds of pleasant moments.

The anticipation of the New Year awakens a child in me ... As in childhood, waking up in the morning, I want to see a Christmas tree with gifts under it ... I want to play snowballs and eat snow and not think about getting sick.

May Happiness knock on your door on New Year's Eve ... And God forbid that you are at home at this moment!

Tangerines are in use, so the New Year is coming soon!

I love winter and the feeling that the holidays are approaching ... New Year's days ... Days of fulfillment of desires, faith in miracles and a fairy tale!

New Years is soon! Let all of you ... have someone nearby who will peel tangerines for you ... And the one who will steal these tangerines from both of you ...

My status went into the forest, probably behind the tree.

Funny and funny quotes

I want a peasant ... small, plump, with gifts ... Santa Claus, I'm waiting!

Soon we will sit on the Internet, we will not celebrate the New Year, but update.

Never stick snowflakes on the fridge on New Year's Eve - they remind drunk guests of the letter J.

Only here on New Year's Eve, the President's congratulations are broadcast on all channels, but they are watched only on the first one.

The New Year's Eve is a dinner ending with breakfast.

Grandfather Frost, I would have ... Gazprom shares - so that I no longer bother you.

If a fat uncle hides at night and puts you in a sack ... don't freak out! Just someone asked Santa Claus for the New Year;)

Dear Santa Claus, for the New Year, put a piece of happiness under the tree for me ... 180 cm tall, please.

My children are already writing a letter to Santa Claus! And Santa Claus sits next to him on the couch and freaks out!

Prepared for the New Year thoroughly! I even shifted the scales 5 kg back ...

As December is nearing midpoint, it's time to decide what to dress up for the night of December 31st to January 9th.

- How did you spend New Years?
- I don’t know, we haven’t told you yet ...

Meaningful statuses

Snow ... Adults say that this is frozen water, but children know better: these are little stars with a magical taste of the New Year.

I'm getting ready for the New Year, it seems the liver suspects something.

Dear Santa Claus, a beard made of cotton wool, I don't need gifts! Increase your salary!

New Year is a time when a call at 3 am is more happy than a call at 10 am.

New Year is a good reason to leave some people in the old one.

Someone dreams of a new life. And for some, the New Year is enough.

Every man should be a little Santa Claus for his family, help his Snow Maiden create a fairy tale and give gifts, well, and if anyone is not satisfied with this, there is still a deer vacancy.

Beautiful statuses about the New Year

New Year gives us a great chance to change our life for the better. This is a reason to abandon the usual, but so boring, to step over fears, leave doubts behind, smile at the world around and start building your destiny according to your own, exclusive project.

Under the chime of the clock, at twelve sharp,
The world will change around.
We fall into a fairy tale as if
Let's plunge into childhood again ...

They say that on New Year's Eve everything always comes true, even the fact that it is impossible to sell it for a whole year!

Dear Santa Claus !!! I want to make a request! Put only five boxes for my friends under the Christmas tree: fill the first with health, the second with good luck, the third with good, the fourth with patience, and put faith in the fifth! And yet - I beg you very much, tie all these boxes with a ribbon of happiness! Thank you, Santa Claus. I will wait very much ...

As we get older, the wish list for the New Year gets smaller and smaller, and what we really want cannot be bought with money.

There are many aphorisms about the New Year. Some of them are humorous and amusing, while others inspire philosophical reflection and encourage change. Choose the expressions you like for your statuses, give the New Year mood to yourself and those around you!