How to communicate with a girl in contact: unwritten rules. How to communicate with a girl to make her fall in love with you
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Cinema is a universal theme. We start with the question: “Have you been to the cinema *?” We find out that he likes to watch, whether he goes to night sessions, we talk about new products and invite him to the film - it's in the bag!
Hobbies. For example, you roller skate or collect stamps. In the first case, after a short conversation, you can invite to ride. If you can't, promise to teach. In the second - to tell a romantic story related to your favorite brand and invite you to see the collection. In a conversation, do not forget to ask what the girl is interested in, and give time to talk about it. 
Literature. Does the girl like to read? If yes, go ahead. What have you been reading lately? What is your favorite writer? Tell me what you are reading. Maybe you know which book will be filmed soon? Have you read the new book from the series she likes? Promise to read. 
Museums, places of interest. There are plenty of them in every city. You need to pick up a guidebook and remember the information at least about those where you visit most often. Then at any moment you can strike with intelligence approximately in the following spirit: “Do you know that Pushkin (James Bond, Carlson) lived in this house?” We are interested in the lady's favorite places, tell a romantic story about her favorite park and invite her to take a walk. 
Bad habits. It is better to talk about the “cute” shortcomings: the habit of constantly being late, losing pens, or vice versa - imperceptibly collecting them from all your friends. The main thing is to have fun. 
Money. Talking about how much daily travel and meals, CDs, books cost is a good opportunity to start a conversation. True, you should not delay it, he will still think that you are a miser. After a couple of opinions, move on to another topic. For example, to food. 
Food. From family dinners with grandma's pies to favorite dishes, exotic seafood, good cafes, barbecue trips, etc. An invitation to your favorite cafe or out of town on the weekend would be completely logical in this case. 
Travel, walks. You can talk about your recent travel. Ask where the girl likes to go, ride, about her favorite weather for walking, where she would like to visit. What do you like more - forest, mountains or diving into the unexplored depths of the sea for treasures. 
Cars, transport. Ask if the girl drives a car. If not, is there a desire? What cars do you like? What other transport would you like to drive - a spaceship or an armored personnel carrier? Share your thoughts on your dream car. 
Work and study. Tell us a couple of funny situations from your work or study practice. Ask about relationships in the team: are there common holidays, ask about bosses and teachers. Surely in these stories there is something in common, there will be something to laugh at. 
Relaxation. What do you do on weekends? With any answer to the question, we do not criticize anything, even if the girl does not get up from the couch all day, eating cakes in kilograms. Maybe she has a terribly stressful job, and this is a compensation for stress. Your job is to keep the conversation going. 
Sport. Start gently with your favorite sports. If you hear that a girl is doing ballet or dancing, do not rush to laugh “at the top of her lungs“. Try at home in front of the mirror, standing on tiptoe, raising your legs, sitting down, jumping and at the same time waving your arms beautifully for a couple of hours in a row. Your suffering will have nothing to do with ballet, but you will feel the degree of stress. Famous athletes, gyms, types of swimming, sports tourism - there are many topics. 
From sports to health. Here is the time to say that it is better to ride bicycles in the fresh air than to sniff glue in basements. We can philosophize a little on this topic together. Unless, of course, the girl yawns during your moralizing lecture. 
Religion. Do you believe in God, in fate, are you interested in Buddhism, the history of religions, do you not even believe in chance, etc.? Do not be shy, ask if she believes in predestination from above or believes that a person independently creates fate. Do you feel that your meetings are not accidental? Point it out. It might be an interesting conversation. 
Relationship. Here you can ask what kind of guy she would like to meet. What will not tolerate: betrayal, tediousness, greed, etc. Express your opinions in response. Ask about your friends, tell about yours. Just don't start scrupulously sorting out ex-girlfriends. 
Children. Toddlers, younger siblings, nieces and just acquaintances. There will definitely be something to discuss: funny statements, pranks, whims. If the lady you have chosen is already a mother, the conversation can be endless. You can find out how serious the person in front of you is. 
Gifts, holidays. What holiday is the best? What gifts do you like? Giving or receiving? About myself, definitely. For example: you love winter, New Year, Santa Claus and swimming in the hole under the tangerine rain in the same fins. 
Cloth. Be sure to compliment her on her beautiful appearance. Play a joke on your favorite jeans. Ask: how does she feel about the guys working on the podium? Hint that a woman in any clothes is beautiful - any real man knows this. 
Pets. The topic is a win-win, unless you just ran into an outright psychopath. Does she have a cat, a dog, a rat, a fish, a parrot? Praise! Be sure to talk about your pets. Imagine what your favorite iguana and her guinea pigs would do together. 
Sex. You can shock a girl by immediately reporting your sexual preferences. True, the result will be extremely doubtful. Therefore, wait until your relationship becomes really close. In the meantime, you can talk about famous couples: are they really suitable for each other.
In contact with
Horror! Guys do not know how to communicate with a girl in contact! I wasn't surprised to find out that the girls were ignoring them. They build a conversation in the same way as on a date or on the phone. The question sits on the question and drives the question.
Perhaps you yourself have communicated the same way up until now. Of course, for us men, there is nothing wrong with the fact that we communicate briefly and almost without emotion. On the contrary, we appreciate when communication is clear and to the point. Especially when it comes to important issues. But for the opposite sex, such communication resembles a conversation with an old man tired of life or an interrogation by a prosecutor.
I thought, thought, analyzed my most successful acquaintances in contact, and decided to write a post on this topic.
How to communicate with a girl in contact
When the social network Vkontakte just appeared and began to develop, attempts to meet beauties were perceived somehow better than now. You could write just "hello", and it was already perceived as something special and outlandish.
“Oh, they wrote to me on VKontakte, cool!” - an approximate train of thought of a beauty who has just registered in this social network. Moreover, those girls who were rarely approached on the street found an outlet there. They had a great opportunity to feel better.
But soon, when VKontakte acquaintances became commonplace, and they began to receive dozens of messages from different guys a day, it became much more difficult to get acquainted.
What can we say about those beauties who posted a lot of beautiful photos on their profile.
How to communicate with a girl in contact, if everything has become so difficult?
Well, it's actually not that scary.
Since then, the situation has changed and an effective correspondence strategy has come to the rescue, which is based on the same laws of attracting women as in real life.
Do you want to know about all the secrets of dating in contact? Then subscribe to my newsletter on this topic. In it, I reveal every moment in detail: from the first phrase, to competent commenting on a photo and taking a phone number.
Did you think that the rules of online correspondence are somehow different from the rules of real communication?
How to please a girl by correspondence in contact
Firstly, take an interest what is written on her wall, in the questionnaire or what is shown in the photographs. If you see that she is interested in some interesting activity, then be sure to discuss it with her.
It's no wonder she mentioned it, right!? Most likely, she wants to be asked exactly about this!
Ask her interesting questions about this topic. Just first think about what kind of questions they ask her about her occupation most often. This is necessary so that you come up with other, more interesting questions.
Secondly, tease her. When you joke about her, it says that:
- You have a lot of girls and you can afford to take risks in this way.
- You are not amazed by her beauty in the same way as other guys, and appreciate her inner world.
Remember: you appreciate how she knows how to laugh at herself, and how developed her sense of humor is. You judge, not her! See if she can laugh at herself. And with the help of such jokes you determine how developed her sense of humor is.
Read the previous paragraph again and try to absorb these things. This attitude is very important!
Thirdly, do not get hung up on one thing, but rather let her volume of emotions.
This means that you cannot stick to only the first point or only the second. If you are only interested in her inner world and discuss her interests, you will not be able to arouse her sexual mood. Conversely, if you tease all the time, then she may think that you want her to like you too much. In addition, she will perceive a large number of jokes, as clown performance.
And when you demonstrate the behavior of both, then it is attracting her to you. Checked!
Fourth, do not ask multiple questions in a row.
"Dilute" your communication with interesting stories, expressing your opinion and discussing her view of something. Sometimes it is useful to argue with her to warm up her emotions (but gently and not often).
Fifth, don't always be online. Show that you are a busy person.
If you are always online, then she will conclude that:
- You have nothing to do.
- You really want to get an answer from her (a sign of need).
- Or get acquainted not only with her.
Sometimes it’s even useful to leave without warning, breaking off the conversation “mid-sentence”. It will be even more effective if you ask her a question and, without waiting for her answer, leave the contact.
What will it show?
That's right, it will show that you don't care what exactly she answers. Such things are very catchy for almost all girls, no matter how beautiful they may be.
Now you have an idea of how to properly communicate with a girl in contact. However, that's not all! Now I would like to tell you about this.
Is it worth the rush
Perhaps at first it will seem to you that you are already interested in your new acquaintance.
But, most likely, this feeling is deceptive.
Even if she shows that she is interested in communicating with you, this does not mean that she is ready to meet with you.
How to determine that she has this desire?
Signs of interest:
- She initiates the conversation herself.
- She easily picks up your words and actively develops a dialogue.
- She asks you questions.
- Set emoticons.
Until you see these signs of interest, don't even try to make an appointment. It is better to spend these efforts on creating this interest.
If you want to learn more detailed communication strategies, then I advise you to read my article “How to communicate with a girl, or balabols are not in fashion now”.
In it, I described the methods of conducting a dialogue, as well as getting rid of all possible problems in communication, which are quite difficult to overcome.
Here's the video I was talking about at the beginning.
For a moment, it seemed these girls don't exist anymore.. But it was not there. At least, it seemed to me that she said it sincerely enough. And what do you think?
I wrote about how to communicate with a girl in contact, and like her by correspondence. Now it's time to cover the issue of the first phrases, compiling catchy comments on the photo and the ability to pull her out on a date.
I know that you came to this blog for knowledge and experience. The fact that you are developing is worthy of respect. But information from one article is often not enough, right?
Need to know about 3 degrees of a girl's interest in Internet correspondence, and about how to jump into the "big leagues" of those with whom she wants to meet. And to know how to make her come to a date already "ready", i.e. in a state of interest in you. I am ready to reveal all these secrets to you. To do this, enter your e-mail in the form below and get my personal developments directly to your mailbox!
Some more information on the topic:
How to meet a girl in contact: 2 components and 2 rules And you also don’t know what to write to a girl on the wall in contact?
Generation after generation, young people face difficulties when they first meet the fair sex. Thanks to worldwide information globalization, we have the opportunity to communicate with people whom we would hardly have met in person. However, new technologies do not cancel the traditional difficulties that people experience when they first meet.
How to start a correspondence with a girl? How to make a favorable impression on her, interest and win her over? Let's try to understand this delicate problem.
Let's start a conversation
Starting a conversation with a girl is a very important moment. He decides whether your communication will develop or whether it will end before it really starts. Let's start with a step-by-step correspondence plan. So what's the best way to get started?
motives
Try to find out her motivation, to understand what the girl wants to get from online communication. It could be:
- struggle with loneliness and lack of communication in life;
- the desire to acquire new knowledge or acquaintances in a particular area.
Before starting correspondence, try to drive the girl's name or email over the network. Perhaps you will find "traces" of her activities, by which you can at least roughly determine what she expects from communication.
Interests
Before you start chatting with a girl, check out her personal information, if any. Pay attention to her place of residence and interests, then think over the question, the answer to which will please your interlocutor.
If, for example, a girl is fond of skiing, then you should not immediately ask a direct and simple question: “Are you afraid to ski?” She is unlikely to be interested in answering the layman. It is better to study the information a little, to dig deeper, to look at least a beginner, and not a person completely far from the topic.
Personal information
Many young people are puzzled over how to attract a girl with interesting correspondence. It's great if you have skills that may interest the interlocutor. This option is acceptable if the girl herself is open to communication. She talks about her interests and about herself in general, backing up the information with a lot of personal photos.
Express your sympathy to her, but without being imposed and without flattery, and offer her communication, briefly telling about yourself beloved. Just do not need to "pour out the soul", providing a lot of information about yourself, even if you have something to boast about. Thus, you can scare her away or prove yourself a talker or braggart. Keep the intrigue.
Try starting with a neat phrase, something like, “You impressed me as an open and likeable person. I thought it would be interesting for us to talk about…”. Having an idea of the girl's interests, you can easily suggest a suitable topic.
Network etiquette
When thinking about how to start a correspondence with a girl, do not forget that good manners have not been canceled on social networks either.
- Do not try to drastically reduce the distance, you are still unfamiliar, and by decisive action you risk alienating and causing a wary attitude towards yourself.
- If you start online communication delicately, observing the rules of good manners, and sincerely, avoiding embellishments and fibs, then your chances of continuing correspondence increase dramatically.
- Pay attention to literacy, because the first two or three messages are the most important. Doubting about or turnover, look for information about it.
Originality
When deciding how to start a correspondence with the original, avoid template questions. For example, using a standard phrase like: "Hi, how are you?" - you are unlikely to be able to attract the attention of the fair sex. How many times did she have to answer questions of this kind? Most likely, you will get a natural “normal” and drive yourself into a dead end.
You can attract a girl:
- the ability to think outside the box and interestingly;
- having a unique sense of humour.
Of course, being interesting in communication is not easy, but “seek and you will find”, perhaps you will achieve the highest virtuosity in this field.
Continuation of correspondence
The first words have been spoken, you have struck up an acquaintance, and what's next? by correspondence? If you set yourself the task of winning her heart, well, everything is in your hands.
Regardless of how long you communicate, correspondence helps to get closer and understand each other.
Topics for communication
Mutually interesting communication will help you understand how to please a pen pal. So that your online dialogue does not suddenly come to naught, you will have to be in constant search, we offer a range of topics that you can touch on in everyday conversations.
Showing care
Since you are interested in each other and are happy to correspond, then in continuation of the topic, it is worth asking her about how the school or work day went. Unobtrusively show her your concern, ask if she is tired, if anything bothers her. Support her if you feel that she needs it now.
Plans for the weekend
Ask the interlocutor about her plans for the coming weekend, even if it's only the beginning of the week. It's exciting and can be a long-awaited first meeting if you live in the same city.
compliments
Mentioning the qualities of a girl that attracts you is a mandatory part of the program. Even if you have already met offline and now you are faced with the task of how to correspond with your beloved girl further, do not neglect compliments, because the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity really love with their ears.
Write to her about how dear she is to you, praise her, but remember that you need to do this sincerely and observe the measure. Some sensitive people can be scared off by overly passionate impulses.
secrets
It would be nice to come up with and use your chips when corresponding with a girl. For example, you can take turns telling each other one secret. Let it be a fun game, but it will be only yours.
If your goal is to learn how to chat with a girl correctly, then save this topic for intellectual conversations, from which you can understand the life priorities of your interlocutor, her outlook on life, assess the common interests and prospects in a relationship.
Self improvement
Every person is characterized by the desire for perfection, unless, of course, this is not a self-satisfied ignoramus. Try to talk about what qualities of character are especially valuable for your lady of the heart. Carefully talk about yourself, about your bad habits, shortcomings and the desire to get rid of them. Give information in doses and try to push the interlocutor to openness. Her revelations will help you understand how to please a pen pal.
Interests and hobbies
The level of communication requires constant changes, so do not be zealous in conversations about the meaning of life, do not forget about the earthly. Are you, of course, interested in how your interlocutor uses her free time? Be sure to ask her about it. Perhaps you will find common hobbies that will add another "brick" to the foundation of your relationship.
Little nothings of life
This topic has no boundaries. The main thing is to find out what is a trifle for your lady of the heart and what is important to her. Here you can talk about anything: about cinema and music, about politics, about famous people with whom you sympathize, or, conversely, about those who cause you antipathy. About the latest technology, shopping, travel and other topics, the main thing is that the conversation is a pleasure for both of you.
Gently probe the soil, let her speak about her preferences, study them. This knowledge will add to your “piggy bank” an understanding of how to please a pen girlfriend.
Do not impose on her topics in which she frankly does not understand. If you want to get her to share some of your interests or opinions, then be patient. No need to enter into a fierce argument, act carefully, give your reasons, listen to her thoughts on this matter, you may be able to win her over to your side. If not, then no problem. You know that all people are different, that's the beauty of communication. Enjoy talking about things that both of you are interested in.
Friends
It's great if you have mutual friends. You can arrange joint verbal battles, if these are really your mutual friends, then you can jokingly turn to them to resolve your dispute, a fresh look from the outside never hurts. But do it with the approval of the interlocutor and do not stoop to discussing the personal lives of your friends. Not all girls are gossips.
From all of the above, we can conclude: be delicate and attentive with your girlfriend, remain yourself and let her be herself, do not try to remake her. Respect her and yourself, take care of your communication.
MENSBY
4.2
Many men do not know how to communicate with the fair sex via the Internet or telephone. How to chat with a girl through social networks or via SMS?
If you are too worried to call her, then SMS communication will help you. To chat with a girl you like, you just need to learn how to flirt discreetly. If you need hints, keep reading.
1. Successful start
1.1 Be original. Send her a text that she won't get from another guy. Don't just say hello or send her a weird emoji; think of a way to make her smile or show interest in you. Do anything to make her think, “There is something special about him. I want to keep in touch with him." Here are some ways to be original:
Captivate her with your wit. Make the witty remark that this girl has an unusual outlook.
Make her laugh. Show her that you can be smart - even in text messages.
Tell her something new. If you just heard great news that will surprise her, share your knowledge.
1.2 Ask a good question. It is best to start with a question so that the girl understands that you are waiting for an answer. No need to make her spend the evening thinking about what she should answer. The simpler and clearer your question is, the better. Here are some ways to ask a question:
Ask about how her day or week went. If you know she had an important event, ask her how it went.
Make sure your question can be easily answered. Don't ask her about the meaning of life; ask her about the plans for the May holidays.
Don't complicate. One short message can contain a lot of meaning.
Let the question be ambiguous. Instead of asking her "What time did you get home after the concert?", say "How was the concert?". This will make it easier for her to respond. If you ask a question that can be answered with one or two words, you can end the conversation before it even starts.
1.3 Watch for bugs. It may seem silly, but you need to check the spelling and punctuation of words before sending SMS. Of course, you don't have to write her novels, but you do need to show the girl that you've taken the time to build sentences that are grammatically correct.
Take the time to capitalize or put punctuation where necessary. You don't need to put colons and dashes throughout the message, but just check the message before sending it.
1.4 Don't try too hard. If you try too hard when you first text a girl, she will immediately understand it. Remember to be yourself and not try to impress her by talking in a way you would never say in your life. Worst of all, for a girl, all your maneuvers will be obvious.
Relax. Don't send long or hectic text messages. One message at a time is enough.
Don't try to be funny. If you have a natural sense of humor, great, but if you're putting "haha" at the end of your own messages to show her it was a joke, then you need to calm down.
Remember that the girl is likely to be a little nervous too. This should make it easier for you. Just be yourself and don't worry about everything being perfect.
2. Keep her attention
2.1 Be interesting. Show that you can have a fun conversation on the phone. She will think that you can be just as interesting in life. Your goal with texting is to let her know a little more about your personality and get her even more interested. If you charm her, she will want to communicate with you. Here's how to do it:
Find common interests. While you don't need to talk about political or religious views while texting, you do need to find a common interest. Even if it turns out to be a series or a group, this will allow you to continue communication.
Mention something you enjoy, like football or cooking. This will get her attention.
Say that you would like to devote more time to your hobbies. If you spend time or rehearse with your band, tell them. You will become more interesting if she finds out that you have a life and hobbies.
Show your ingenuity. If she says something funny, don't just text "ha ha ha" and end the conversation. It will be better if you write a funny answer and show her that you can continue.
2.2 Flirt. Flirting with a girl will not only make her crave to hang out with you, but will also let her know that you like her. You should flirt so that she understands that you are interested, but do not overdo it, otherwise she will become silent.
Be playful. At the right moment, show her your fun side by making a goofy comment. Nobody likes guys who take themselves too seriously.
Tease her. If you know her well, tease her a little and wait for her to answer you. Just make sure she understands your mood and knows that you are joking.
Don't be afraid to include emoticons. You don't need to use them too often, but emojis will help you flirt.
2.3 Show what you think of her. There are several easy ways to show a girl that you are thinking of her. A text sent on time will show her that she is important to you. Here's how to show a girl that you're thinking of her via text message:
Ask questions about her. They shouldn't be too personal, but ask what she's up to or what she likes to do on the weekends.
Show her that you remember your conversations. If she said she had an important test coming up, make an impression by sending another "good luck" message the night before.
2.4 Do not overdo it. You need to know that your feelings are mutual, that you don't bombard her with texts she doesn't like. You can show your interest, but you must avoid being a whiner. Here are a few tips on how not to make a bad impression:
Make sure you send and receive the same amount of SMS. If you have already sent ten SMS, and received only one or two responses, then you better retreat.
Don't answer her right away. If she replies a day after your text, relax. If you text five minutes after she's finally answered you, you'll sound pushy, maybe even desperate. Be calm, stay confident, feel comfortable.
Don't go overboard with emoticons. While the emoticon inserted in place is a great way to flirt, don't overdo it.
Avoid crazy punctuation and capital letters. Ten exclamation marks or SMS ON CAPS can scare a girl away.
3. Successful ending
3.1 Know when to end a conversation. If you want a girl to be interested in talking to you, then you need to stop constantly texting her, otherwise she will get tired of your protracted correspondence. If she's busy or you just don't have anything to say, it's important to know when to end the conversation and try again later. Here are a few signs that you should end the conversation:
If the girl always ends the conversation first, then it makes sense to start avoiding texting until she texts first.
If it takes a girl a few hours or even days to reply to your messages, then most likely you need to relax. Respect the fact that she has her own life, but you yourself - take care of your own life. But don't be upset, stay calm and think positive. You will still have the opportunity to communicate with her.
3.2 End the conversation on a positive note. You should always end a conversation in a way that gives you another reason to talk. You can say that you would like to talk more, or talk about what you will be doing in the evening so that you have an opportunity to discuss it. Here's what to do at the end of a conversation:
Tell her that you hope she's having fun.
Find a non-intrusive way to show that you think about her.
Text her "good morning" and "good night" at the appropriate times of the day. Of course, avoid this until the moment when you know that your feelings are mutual. Otherwise, you will annoy her.
Tell her what you are going to do. Maybe she will take this as a hint that you want to meet.
3.3 If you've made a connection and you feel like you're having a great time chatting with her, ask her out on a date. Let everything look natural. The worst thing that can happen is she refuses, but it won't be the end of the world, right? If all is well, go ahead. Here's how to do it:
You don't have to sound formal. You can just tell her you're going to a bar, restaurant, or concert with friends and ask if she'd like to join.
If you are talking for a long time, you can simply say: “I would like to continue this conversation in life. Can we talk about it at dinner or have a drink together? You already have an appointment.
Don't text all the time and don't expect her to answer them. Remember that she has other friends.
Do not think about SMS, be yourself.
If the girl doesn't answer you right away, be patient. Don't text her with a question mark to find out what she's up to.