Where to find 2nd wife. I am looking for a second wife for my husband: A girl posted an advertisement looking for a virgin for an ideal husband. Polygamy is a challenge

08.09.2023

The first “halal” service has opened in Russia dating For Muslims- Mydiaspora.mobi. Using a mobile application, you can find a second wife or first and only life partner who meets religious and national criteria. The creator of the project, Arsen Kazibekov, spoke about this.

At the first stage of communication in this service, users’ photos cannot be seen. The selection of suitable spouse candidates is based on a mandatory detailed questionnaire.

The service is designed primarily for migrants and should become an alternative to existing dating sites that “contradict Muslim foundations.” At the same time, representatives of the diasporas themselves stated that they do not need such an application, Izvestia notes.

When registering on the site, a woman, along with her financial situation and attitude towards alcohol and cigarettes, must indicate the possibility of changing her religion (to the one professed by her intended husband) and the number of siblings. When communicating, it is possible to add an older brother or father to the chat.

Before the launch of the service, a survey was conducted, and at the request of respondents, a search function for a second wife was added. “There have already been precedents when Christian women wrote that they were single, had several children, were not financially secure and were ready to act as a second wife,” Kazibekov said.

The total cost of the project is $150 thousand. The first contribution was made by the founder of the project himself, who was previously involved in business. Then two investors were attracted from Tatarstan, whose names Kazibekov did not name. He hopes the project will break even within five months.

The social network and dating service will earn money by charging a commission on money transfers made through the portal. In addition, in the future, users will have the opportunity to send each other paid gifts, similar to the practice of Odnoklassniki, VKontakte, etc.

The basic version is free, but by the end of July the expanded functionality of MyDiaspora.mobi with more detailed surveys will be presented. You will need to pay a monthly fee of $10 for it. The halal dating app is available on iOS and Android platforms.

To date, ten thousand people are registered on the diaspora social network, of which one and a half thousand have used the dating service (its trial version began working two weeks ago). Most of those who are in search of a second half, according to Kazibekov, are Dagestanis, Armenians, Chechens and Tatars. The number of men and women is now approximately the same.

“In dating services for flirting, 80% of the audience is men, and in those created for serious communication, the same percentage is women. World practice shows that for an additional sample of candidates (if there is one), girls for whom the question is also paid more about marriage is more urgent,” added the founder of the project.

Due to the large number of questions in the questionnaire, the registration process takes more than 15 minutes. In total, there are about 30 questions for women that must be answered. Half of them are non-traditional for European sites. For example, the question about belonging to a confession (and there are 15 options to choose from) does not exhaust the religious topic: the user is also asked to select “the degree of religiosity of the spouse” on a scale from 0 to 10.

The only parameter by which it will be possible to judge a candidate’s appearance before he shows his photograph is weight and height. “In the East, women with wide hips are valued. It is believed that such wives will give birth easily,” Kazibekov noted.

President of the Russian Diaspora Union Vartan Mushegyan negatively assessed the emergence of a specialized “eastern” dating service. According to him, the peoples of the Caucasus, Transcaucasia and Central Asia do not trust virtual methods of communication.

“To choose a wife, you need, first of all, to see her in person,” said Mushegyan. “If the application is of interest, it will only be of interest to a very small part of the Muslim population of Russia.”

The chairman of the Uzbek diaspora in the Moscow region, Timur Mukhamedov, agreed with this and added that in Russia it is illegal to talk about a second wife, and Uzbeks condemn her presence. “In our country, an additional wife is not welcome, because Uzbekistan is a secular country. Even in Arab states (for example, in Egypt), a man can have several wives only if he does not have an heir from the first one. Her consent is also needed,” he explained And he added that Muslim youth today actually make friends through the Internet.

According to VTsIOM data, 87% of Russians consider polygamy unacceptable for Russians, while the attitude towards this phenomenon for the Muslim peoples of Russia is slightly more loyal - 58% are already against it.

“If I were a sultan...”, but really, what to do if a man wants to have two, three or four wives? There is an exit!

An Indonesian man created a dating app that helps men find multiple wives!

So this application will be interesting not only for men who want to find a second wife, but also for women who want to become a second or third wife.

After realizing that many of the men using online dating services were trying to find a second or third wife, an Indonesian software developer decided to make their lives easier by creating a polygamy dating website.

A year ago, while browsing various Indonesian dating sites, Lindu Pranayama noticed that many of the visitors were already married men looking for a second or third wife. Unfortunately for them, the vast majority of online dating services do not offer any options for polygamists, so he decided to create “AyoPoligami,” which translates to “Let’s Do Polygamy,” a new smartphone app that is specifically tailored to the needs of polygamists.

“When they go to regular dating sites, they don’t see polygamy options. They don’t see options for finding second, third or fourth wives,” Pranayama told Channel News Asia.

80% of Indonesia's 250 million people are Muslim, and while polygamy is completely legal in the country, men can only take multiple wives in special circumstances. First, the first wife must give her consent, and even then, potential polygamists must obtain permission from the court to marry other women. Permission is most often granted in cases where the first wife has health problems or is unable to bear children. Therefore, polygamy is not particularly encouraged in Indonesia.

As a result, after the launch of this site in April of this year, this service caused mixed reactions. There are a large number of people who believe that the app is trying to normalize polygamy at the expense of women, many of whom do not know what they are getting into and end up becoming victims of domestic violence.

“The reality is that women tend to be victims of domestic violence in polygamous marriages—polygyny is a form of violence against women,” comments Indriyati Suprano, Commissioner of the National Commission on Violence against Women.
However, AyoPoligami has become very popular among Indonesian men, who have already downloaded the app more than 37,000 times since its launch. The problem is that many of the registered accounts are actually fake, allowing polygamists to trick women into marrying them without first getting permission from their first wives.

Due to these issues, Lindu Pranayama has temporarily disabled registration while he works on a new version of the app that will require users to provide an ID card, their current marital status and a letter of consent from their current wives.
Interestingly, Lindu, who had previously found it difficult to find a suitable life partner, recently married a woman he met through AyoPoligami. This is his first wife, and for now he has no plans to look for a second wife.

Here is such a “shoemaker without boots,” who decided to stop at “one boot.”

“I’m looking for a second wife for my husband. The fact is that I have him very active, you understand in what way. Usually this happens to us 5-6 times a day, and on weekends it goes up to 10. We have been married for 5 years and have two children. I am 26 years old, my husband is 2 years older. I can’t cope physically anymore, I walk around sleepy all the time, and it hurts between my legs, sorry for the details. He is very good to me, I love him very much. He is attentive, wealthy, caring, affectionate, loving, tall, handsome, does not smoke, does not drink, reads namaz 5 times, well, just the perfect man. He himself is against this idea, but agreed for my sake. He didn’t have anyone before me, we were each other’s first. He doesn't even look at other women. Those. I'm doing the searching. He said that if I find a young girl, unmarried, a virgin, who observes Islam, he will agree to marry. In terms of intimacy, I will reserve the right to have sex once; anything more will be the responsibility of the second wife. Please help me find a good candidate,” the ad says.

It is worth noting that the users in the group reacted ambiguously to the girl’s request. In less than 24 hours, the “vacancy” received dozens of comments.

“This post, firstly, initially deliberately leads the public to the idea that a second wife is the norm. People, do not give in to provocations! We have a secular legal state! The expression “second wife” itself is unacceptable and contradicts the legislation of the Kyrgyz Republic! And, secondly, whether this post is fiction or reality, the author, write directly as it is, “I’m looking for a mistress for my husband, not a second wife,” one of the users commented on the post.

However, the main emphasis in the comments from users was on the requirements for the potential current. The girl author of the ad, as well as her husband, were advised by Instagram users to marry a woman aged 30 or above or marry a commercial sex worker.

“Author, marry a prostitute. For divorced people and widows, there are single husbands. But it’s hard for prostitutes, because our men keep shouting that if everyone took 2-3 wives, there would be no prostitutes. Moreover, he is in religion, your husband, let him think about it. And let virgins never go to unmarried people. “Otherwise, your husband will get... fucked up and leave her, and her life will be ruined,” the user believes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bd5y5-NA6V7/

DUSHANBE, July 6 – Sputnik. Religious dating sites are gaining popularity online - for Orthodox Christians, Muslims and Jews. RIA Novosti correspondent Maria Shustova decided to figure out who representatives of different religions are looking for on the Internet.

Be my second wife

Muslim profiles on dating sites are varied.

Thus, the dating site Nikah.su in the “marital status” column suggests not only choosing the status “single”, “divorced” or “widower”, but also “married - looking for a second wife”. This is a very interesting option, considering that in Russia citizens can officially be in only one marriage.

But when asked about religion, it is proposed to choose only one of the currents of Islam: “traditional”, “Ahl Sunna wal Jamaa”, “Salafiyya”, “Asharism or Maturidism”, “Sufism”, “Shiism”, “other”, “just a Muslim ".

Also, site guests need to answer how strictly they observe the religious rules of Islam, whether they have performed Hajj or Umrah, how many suras of the Koran they know by heart, and ladies - whether they wear a hijab.

Visitors are allowed to choose only one of the already available options.

Marriage without carnal relations

The first dating site for Orthodox Christians that the search engine returns is “ABC of Fidelity.” Here they offer to read the Bible, a prayer book, study the church calendar, and at the same time find your love. The choice of candidates for the role of the second half is quite wide: more than 15 thousand men and almost 18 thousand women.

As on other similar sites, here you first fill out a questionnaire. After information about the presence of children from previous marriages, the site client must tell about his religion. There are three options: “a member of the Church,” “I am a member of the Church,” or “I just respect.” But the authors of the site admitted the possibility of other religious views: Old Believers, Catholicism, Islam, and so on.

Screenshot of the ABC of Fidelity dating site page

Next, in addition to education and profession, you need to indicate how active your spiritual life is, how often and what temple you go to. And between the question about your attitude towards smoking and your favorite style of clothing, you will have to admit how often you read the Holy Scriptures.

In addition, the questionnaire will ask if you have an “intimate past” and whether you would consider “marrying someone with an intimate past” or “living married as brother and sister, without carnal relations.” Well, finally, you will be asked to tell us what carnal love is for you.

As you fill out the form, in its margins you can admire photographs of couples who got married thanks to the “ABC of Fidelity.”

Just chat

The Jewish dating site Sara and Rashel is practically no different from secular ones. Unlike Orthodox and Muslims, there are no strict guidelines for getting married - you can just find a friend and chat.

The specificity of the site is only that you must confirm your Jewishness - “by mother”, “father”, “by both”, “converted to Jewishness (conversion)”, “in the process of undergoing conversion” or “by father and converted” .

And in addition, you will be asked to write about your attitude towards Jewish traditions: “I observe”, “I partially observe”, “I do not observe”, “I do not observe and have no desire to do so” or “I do not observe, but I would like to”.

All other questions are from the classic set of dating sites.

Alphonse and guardians

There are several forums on the Internet where believers discuss religious dating sites. There, in addition to enthusiastic responses, there are also warnings of danger.

For example: “The good thing about the site is that there are a lot of good, kind and adequate people there.” “It’s very pleasant to be on the site... People communicate, learn a lot of new things, increase their spiritual level. Someone is lucky and finds their soul mate.”

And then: “For several months I talked with a middle-aged man... on the topic of Orthodoxy and pious life, during the conversation, questions periodically interspersed, as if by the way, about my income, make of car, my living space and land, and one day the man asked directly where we will live together."

Muslim dating sites are more protective of their clients. To avoid fitnah (when deeds and words contradict the Koran), communication must take place with the consent and in the presence of the wali (guardian) of the bride.

“The purpose of this resource is to help find a life partner, therefore communication between the same sexes on the site is strictly limited,” the administration warns.

Bi-smi-Llyahi-r-rahmani-r-rahim
As-salamu alaikum wa-rahmatu-llahi wa-barakatuh

About your personality:

29 years. She was not married, no children. Programmer, not by diploma. I live with my mother, but I have intentions to get married or live separately on my own in the near future. However, for stability and peace of mind, it will be better for me if I get married.

The character is calm, I can get irritated when I see certain traits of a person, such as: arrogance, arrogance and pride, whining, complacency and narcissism, constant display of dissatisfaction with everyone and everything, attempts by manipulation, politics, insults or humiliation, or in some other way to resolve the issue in one’s favor or simply to resolve the issue, a statement consciously or unconsciously showing one’s exclusive rightness. I can’t say what kind of relationship I will have with my husband, since I don’t know myself. But I will do everything possible to make sure that the house is calm, warm and cozy, that relationships are honest, open, everything is openly discussed and all emerging issues are resolved through a calm conversation, analysis of the components of the issue at the moment it arises, without delay, so that it does not “accumulate” and there was no “mess” that could come out at any time, in any form (word, behavior, etc.).

Shy and taciturn, unless it concerns any business or work, sensitive, love silence, noticeably detached from the mundane, may not do something if there was no agreement about it, or something was done or said (reinforcing " do" and reinforcing "don't do"), which resulted in confronting neural connections. I painfully perceive words spoken by loved ones not with warmth or neutrality. I can cry, and a lot, but without a sound.

I am attentive to feelings and mood, and at the same time I may not see what lies under my feet until I stumble.

I prefer loneliness and solitude (I don’t mean the absence of a husband), I don’t like guests and I don’t like to visit.

I don’t like wastefulness, I try to spend as much as is required, no more. I love minimalism in everything.

I can’t cook like a chef, but I’m willing to learn. I would like to create masterpieces and cook only healthy food.

There was an operation for appendicitis in 2011. There was chronic sinusitis, there is still sediment. I lifted weights as a child, which may be why my uterus is bent forward. I don’t know how this might affect the ability to have children.

It is impossible to force me to do something by any means; an agreement can be reached by presenting weighty arguments, first of all, according to Sharia, and secondly, if they are rational.

About my future husband:

It is obligatory to fulfill all fards and sunnat. Calm, responsible, adequate, warm, or rather able to show warmth and attention. Mumin, with strong iman. Older than me, but no more than 15 years. Living in Astana, or nearby, since I already have a work arrangement that requires my presence here. I intend to implement the agreement for the next year, a year and a half, perhaps two, perhaps more, perhaps less, until the agreed result is achieved.

After marriage:

I work now and intend to work from home after marriage. There is an agreement, I will fulfill it. I will devote about 30%-50% of the daytime time spent in consciousness to work.

The money I earn will be distributed by myself.

I will devote at least 20% of the daytime time spent in consciousness to knowledge and self-education.

I don’t like guests, but if they come, I prefer to remain silent or not be present at all, while preparing everything necessary in advance.

I intend to learn and create masterpieces in the kitchen.

I will devote part of my time to handicrafts: knitting, sewing, etc.

What my husband cannot forbid me:
1. Gain knowledge.
2. Help people.

About dreams, goals and desired future:

I want to fulfill all fards and sunnat, I want to help people, I want to help my husband and I want the day to mainly pass: firstly, in worshiping Allah; secondly, in studying the Koran and obtaining worldly useful knowledge; thirdly, in the implementation of projects for the benefit of humanity. I want to implement projects that will help people. And for this, and therefore, I am against having something in my life that will greatly distract or interfere. I would like my husband to be also interested in this, so that we would implement projects together.

About polygamy:

I can marry as a second, third or fourth wife, and I also accept my husband’s right to marry again. However, it is imperative that other wives know and accept this fact, and it will also be necessary to try to convince my mother.

Other wives should be with strong iman and calm (if they “blow out” my husband, my brain will not be calm), clean and free of contagious diseases, should live in the same city or area, but not in the same house (I don’t like it when my they touch things, I myself don’t touch other people’s things and in general I can’t stand many women’s antics and words).

About the dating process and nicknames:

Here I have written everything that I think is necessary so that the person who reads it will recognize me and make a decision. Therefore, there will be no further communication, correspondence or meetings to get to know each other. There will also be no photos. Please be understanding.

This decision was made due to the fact that before that there had been attempts to get to know each other and there had been lengthy correspondence. Every time it’s like you’re giving away a piece of your heart.

After you read it, you can make a decision, and only if it’s positive, you can write about yourself everything you think I need to know and send it to me by message. Definitely with a photo. However, I will not write back to you and continue the conversation. Therefore, write everything that you think needs to be known about you. When I make a decision, I will send my uncle's number. And then it will be possible to meet so that you can see me and resolve issues regarding nikah.

I don’t want any celebrations or ceremonies, I want everything to go quietly and calmly, just nikah and a modest table in the circle of those closest to me. Regarding the mahr: you can give as much as you think is right, honest and possible in your case. I won’t set an amount, not now, not later. There will be no costs associated with folk customs. There is no need to give bride price. You can give gifts to my closest ones, if possible and if possible, to get closer to them.