Love of a mature man. How to make a fleeting passion to grow into mature love and long relationship

04.07.2019

Mature love and causes of her formation. The article provides recommendations for the preservation of those who have emerged feelings in a couple with a rich life experience. It also announced advice on preserving trust relationships with family after the event that occurred.

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Mature love is something that can cause a skeptical smile from a smaller generation. However, the fact remains the fact that such a phenomenon is quite common among people aged. It is necessary to deal with this issue in order to have a clearer picture of the relationship when they met and loved each other two wise human experience.

The mechanism of development of relations between mature people

Life does not stop in place, so single hearts try to find their soul mate at any age. If the mature people got each other, then the scenario of their relationship is usually developing as follows:

Sensitude of loneliness. This imbalance in the shower has quite wide decoding, because you can feel the emptiness within yourself and with the existing partner. In the event of the need for new relations, a mature man begins to look for a second half, which would come to him in all respects.
Football acquaintance. This can happen both by chance and as a result of targeted actions. In adulthood, not only the external attractiveness of a possible chosen is already considered, but also its mental quality.
Search for common interests. If a person has at least some life experience, he will try to find a partner who will understand him. An exception is made up of mature individuals who try to seem more effectively due to the younger lover.
Creating a pair. If people in solid age understood that they fit each other, it could be the beginning of a serious relationship. At the time of youth, this process is much faster, but the result is very predictable.
Development of a relationship. Love is a feeling that constantly requires a certain emotional fuel. The feelings of mature people usually lead to the creation of a full-fledged family, because at this age the passion is hand in hand with a mind.

Major Education Backgrounds Mature Couple

Nothing happens just like that because we ourselves coordinate their actions. Fate is a serious thing, but even it is sometimes subject to some adjustment. Psychologists believe that love in adulthood may arise for such reasons:

Common interests. Nothing unites people's magnificent experience as an opportunity to spend his leisure together. If both partners love in their free time to deal with the same, that is, the high probability that their pair will work out. They will not have the desire of a separate pastime, which often destroys even the strongest feelings.
Similar views on life. The presence of general life-orientations is an excellent factor in the emergence of a mutual feeling. Two souls should sing in unison to form a strong and stable steam.
Contrast with previous relationships. We all start learning on their mistakes over time, because life has a property to teach pretty tough lessons. If a person in adulthood has once become a victim of home tyrant, he will begin to look for a quiet and balanced partner. Do not seek goodness from good, so they leave those who really poison their lives of their second half.
Fatigue from free life. In this case, it will be discussed about navigated bachelors and selfless feminists. Youth gives us a huge potential of the vitality, which sometimes is not spread in the direction. Charter from loneliness or temporary ties, a person in adulthood can take a look at the reality completely differently. Changes the previous lifestyle, it will be able to see the person whom fate presented him at the sunset.
Finding your ideal. We are all looking for what our tastes and preferences completely satisfied. It is possible to look for the very only thing, and find it already in adulthood. This happens instantly when a person is already waiting for nothing from this life. Love flashes instantly, which ultimately leads to the creation of a stable pair.
Similar type. We all ever lose their loved ones who were very expensive to us. Favorite in the past man could go to another partner or just leave this world. After a long depression, a mature personality is able to meet someone who is very similar in all respects on the lost beloved.

Feelings in solid age have quite serious causes of their education. Passion often buys the brain of younger people, which is considered a completely natural phenomenon. Consequently, a pair of mature partners has a great chance of a happy collaborative future.

Signs of sympathy between mature people

If we are talking about youth, then mutual fluids are visible immediately due to the boiling of passions in front of everyone. The love of mature people is somewhat different from the described, so it looks like this:

Significant smiles. If the person fell in the soul, then when communicating with him, I want to constantly show my feelings. At the same time, the difference between the friendly location and the obvious manifestation of sympathy between the two people in age is noticeable. The surrounding at the same time everyone understands, and in love with hearts start increasingly close with each other.
The desire of frequent meetings. After obvious signs of attention, the second phase of a mature relationship begins, in which people who are interested in each other begin to desire to continue their acquaintance. They are increasingly challenging and seeking a reason for the next meeting.
Long conversations. After a joint leisure, the most interesting period of mature relationships begins in the form of sincere conversations. People aged are that to tell each other, because their life experience is rich in all sorts of events, stories, and there is plenty of time for this.
Familiarity with family. A famous fact is that if a mature person is willing to introduce his chosen one, then this is evidence of the beginning of a serious relationship in the resulting pair. You rarely find such a person who has no close, so to acquaint the partner who has come to the soul with close surroundings will still have to.

How to find love in adulthood

Some people will seem strange voiced problem, because public opinion states that love itself will come with time. All this is the case, but mostly a man himself beats his happiness. If the years are inexorably pass, then it's time to think about the search for the second half.

This can be done by resorting to the following ways to solve the problem in personal life:

Interest club. A mature man in a youth party will look somewhat strange if he himself did not organize her. Night clubs are also good exclusively for youth, which is capable of falling in love with this late, quarrel and put up again. A more older is more suitable for an entertainment event where his peers gather. In such organizations, a large number of pairs are created when mature people find a soul mate. An optimistic example of voiced can serve as a club of Lii Ahacedzhakaya in the movie "Moscow does not believe in tears", where many people aged found their happiness.
Marriage Agency. Young people in a rare case resort to the services of this organization, if it is not about an estimated marriage with a foreign partner. A man at the age will not be ascended to seek help for help from professional matchmakers who will help to choose a customer with a suitable candidacy. With a personal meeting, the Customer himself will already decide for himself the feasibility of continuing relations, but often the choice gets into the apple.
Acquaintance on the Internet. Not only the young men and girls explore the expanses of the World Wide Web, but also the older people will gladly visit all sorts of sites. The Internet is good because it allows you to communicate anything regardless of the place of residence of the interlocutor. Consequently, a mature man has a great chance of meeting his interesting personality that in the future can cause him love for the chosen one.
Help acquaintances. In this case, the wonderful film "For Family Circumstances" is remembered, in which a stable pair of mature people formed through joint friends. It is worth thinking about what, maybe there is a person in the nearest environment who is able to organize a meeting of two single hearts. In most cases, the initiative brings a positive result in the form of creating a union of people close to the spirit.
Visiting events. Exhibitions, Theater, auctions - all this is the real opportunity to find a person from which the heart will light up and soul. In such places, you can find your half even in adulthood, because, as already mentioned, common interests are united.

There are quite a large amount of ways to solve the problem of personal life even in adulthood. Therefore, it is not necessary to despair and suffer alone in full confidence of the impossibility of happiness. It is necessary to act, because time goes, and you must take care of yourself in terms of happy old age next to your loved one.

Methods for preserving senses in the resulting pair

You can create a couple in adulthood, it is possible, but it is important to keep it warm and mutual respect to each other. This sometimes is not easy to do, because both partners brought their past mistakes to the new relationship. However, there is nothing impossible in the world, so you should use the chance provided by fate for happiness.

Options for wipes between mature people

It will be erroneous that there will be an opinion that the quarrels at the initial stage of relations concern only young and inexperienced couples. People aged also create an alienation wall among themselves, eliminating the following tips to eliminate:

Adopting past chosen one. Not everyone is able to go to such a courageous act, but without it, it will be almost impossible to keep the creative pair without it. Everyone has their own life story that is not always a rainbow picture. Consequently, mature people should understand that, inlet in their lives, new love, they must accept the past partner.
Compromise. We all possess a certain temperament and have their own model of behavior. In this case, it is worth thinking that a loved person needs to do some of the cross. No one talks about permissiveness, but to go for some concessions towards her mature partner still have to keep feelings.
Study on your mistakes. Sometimes we repeat the same actions that brought many problems in the future. With conscious relationships in adulthood, it is worth a preliminary analysis of their actions. It is worth asking for yourself before the answers will come in the form of a break of relationships.

Tit - an important stage of any relationship. Consequently, it is necessary to respond to this phase of the formed Union. Losing easy, but unwise at age when fate can give the last chance of happiness.

Communication with children from previous relations in a mature pair

Structured phrase that children are our future, still has the right to exist. We can not when choosing a new partner to share this fact. It is necessary to establish contact with the offspring of the one, which is best organized as follows:

Unobtrusion. There is nothing worse than such actions when even let's upheld children begin to serve their attention a new family member. Everything needs to be done suspended and with a wise approach to the voiced problem. Stone water sharpening, so a person with a certain luggage experience will act in this way.
Method of positive example. Children of a loved one must see their parent in safe hands. It may arise a lot of problems, because jealousy will be present in the situation that has arisen. Time will put everything in its place, but it is necessary to still give to understand the children of your beloved about the seriousness of relationships with him.
Tact. This aspect is very close to the concept of unobtrusion, but these two factors have a slightly different meaning. It is possible to destroy everything to the child in the address of the child's child's address, because the parent usually always arises to protect his children. At the same time, it does not matter how many years it turned out to be the third entity of the late relationship, because only aggression will be the result of admitted tactlessness.

Important! It is always difficult to accept an outsider in a family, because it often entails a mass of negative. Consequently, it is necessary to coordinate their actions in such a way that everyone is satisfied with the result of a mature relationship.

Preservation of sexual attractiveness in mature pair

Young partners have a similar problem much less often. In a more solid age, it is necessary to relate more to this issue. Save the feelings that have arisen in such a union will help the following specialist advice:

Love for her body. In intimate relations, external partner data play an important role. It cannot be argued that this factor is influenced by the quality of sexual life. However, the tightened figure did not damage anyone, because it is capable of attracting the attention of the opposite sex. If fixed external defects are very problematic, then you just need to love yourself as it is. After all, the elect at one time appreciated the future object of passion, allocation of it among other applicants. So, not everything is so bad, and it is not worth collecting complexes.
Personal care. There is such an expression that a man loves his eyes, and a woman's ears. Psychologists are ready to argue with this statement, because there are no identical people. Successful style, exquisite perfume, well-kept body will always attract the attention of the chosen one. He will no longer pay attention to the network of wrinkles on the face and skin, which began to lose elasticity.
Refusal of sex in reluctance. There is nothing worse than intimate relations for coercion. We do not always feel well both physically and morally. Consequently, the partner needs to tactfully say that he loves very much, but at the moment sex simply will not bring any pleasure to both. However, at the same time recall numerous jokes about headaches as a reason for refusing intimate relationships. It is not necessary to abuse it, because the chosen one can start looking away with interest.
Role-playing games. Some people invest a slightly different meaning in this concept that is quite widespread. It is always interesting to be an interesting partner, and the age does not matter here. The playfulness of mature people in the public looks more than strange. However, when the bedroom doors are closed behind a pair, there can be no prohibitions.

What is love in adulthood - Look at the video:

Mature love and relationship in it is a sample of wisdom that is multiplied by experience. The period of youthful impulses and mistakes passed, so it is very important to protect the long-awaited happiness acquired in a solid age.

Mature relationship of love and mature care

Love is a complex state based on the emotional experience of your attitude towards anyone. It is unlikely that someone can give a complete and exhaustive characteristic of this feeling, but still there are a number of distinctive features of mature love. A small excursion in understanding the mature relationship to famous psychotherapists will help us draw up the most complete presentation about it.

I. Yal emphasizes that mature love is not a proprietary love, she respects and admires the partner, and does not use it to meet his needs. She brings a sense of satisfaction and sensation of harmony of life. It has little anxiety and hostility (although, of course, it can make worry about another).

Loving mature love is independent of each other, autonomous, not jealous, but at the same time they strive to help another person in self-realization, they are proud of the victories of the other, generous and caring. Mature love says: "I can live without you, but I love you, and therefore I want to be there."

The person inclined to create a copended relationship is focused on love-deal, love-operation. He cannot give, not asking anything in return. And giving, feeling used, devastated, deceived. But for a mature personality, the ability to give is an expression of force and abundance. Reliving, a mature person enjoys, and this in itself is already compensation for its emotional, physical and material costs.

Mature man knows his partner and realistically assesses his quality. But at the same time, he appreciates him as he is, and helps him to grow personally and reveal it with his own ways - helps for himself, and not for him to serve him.

Mature man respects his partner, his psychological territory and its psychological borders. Love is born free and cannot exist in captivity. With encroachment to freedom, it begins to disappear.

But as describes the mature love of K. Teppervin: "Love does not come according to our hopes and aspirations. Love is a gift of life. And he is not related to whether I also love. Mature man comes into this connection without any expectations and at all without demands ...

Love is not a static phenomenon. This is a process that, occurring one day, cannot be wasteled. Love is made daily, at any moment it acquires new outlines and at any time she can wake up to a new one, another person, even if it contradicts our beliefs and ideas about morality. There is no business to our myths and delusions. A person can only grate to take love and rejoice at her while she offers him, and at any time it should be ready to leave. Only in this case he has a chance for it to be delayed ...

Mature love needs:

A spiritually mature man is ready to truly understand the other and take it as it is, with all the strong and weak parties.
Spiritually mature man wants to have a partner who will be able to trust and trust, sharing his thoughts and feelings, as well as needs and preferences. He wants to be with those who could rely on himself and whom will be able to support himself.
Mature man is committed to such relationships in which both partners have the opportunity to fully disclose their individuality and live in love with each other.
Spiritually mature man belongs to the personal growth and the development of the other also seriously, as well as its own. He is ready and is able to agree with the other and be supported by him, without renounced his individuality and not allowing himself to harm.
Spiritually mature man is ready to answer his fate and for the fate of the partner.
Spiritually mature person knows that partnerships are not eternal and, therefore, can interrupt. But he also knows that this will not affect his responsibility and love, and grateful to every day of life. "

J. and M. Paul argue that personal responsibility is an integral part of mature love. Each of us is responsible for choosing a partner, its behavior, its reactions to the partner's behavior and for its consequences. Nobody besides us can be responsible for feelings that appear as a result of our solutions, regardless of whether they are joyful or bitter. We have certain features of the nature that underlie our interactions, as well as characteristic behaviors, addiction and expectations.

For many people, responsibility means guilt. In fact, we are not to blame for anyone (unless, of course, do not violate the law). But no one is to blame for us.

We are responsible only for their actions and for those consequences that we will have to worry as a result of these actions - responding with ourselves. But we are not responsible for the reactions of other people on these actions. The opposite is also true: we ourselves are responsible for our reaction to the actions of other people.

Each of us has their own idea of \u200b\u200bhappiness and love. If we consider our partner responsible for our happiness, we are angry when we do not get the desired. But in reality, he is not responsible for the fact that he has a different idea of \u200b\u200bhappiness, which does not coincide with our. This we are responsible for choosing an unsuitable partner.

When we try to make another person obey our opinion, he is ready to go to any extremes to protect himself from control and pressure. When we are trying to impose our values, we resist, because we have the right to our own idea of \u200b\u200bhappiness.

Mature love says: "I will do everything in my power to help you optimally realize my abilities, even if it means that sometimes you have to be far from me and do something without me. I love you and so I want you to get everything. "

Immature egocentric love declares: "You should be here so that I was to rely on. You have to console and feed me with your love, otherwise I'm luring strength. We and I should be together for you to be responsible for everything that happens to me. "

Very common behavior - complaints on the "bad" partner. The complaint considers himself deprived. But this behavior in itself denies personal responsibility. Our feelings and reactions are always due to their own values, beliefs, fears, expectations. No one is responsible for our feelings. If you can not do what you need, because it will upset or give out your beloved, is your problem, not it. If you go to yourself, as you are afraid of losing a partner who does not want to be considered with you, is your problem, not it. If you feel guilty due to the fact that you act in accordance with your needs, and your partner is dissatisfied with this, Ugnetn, your wine is your problem, and his oppression is it. "

Representations of responsibility and fault are really distinguished by customers who are prone to copy-dependent relationships. But, by taking patience, the consultant has to again and again focus the attention of the client at the following key points.

1. If you take on the problems of a partner, and he gives all the burden of his responsibility on you, using you, not like, is your problem: this you have taken responsibility.

It is impossible to dump your responsibility to another person. If he does not take it.

2. If you take responsibility for a person and his problems, and he does not want it and not only not grateful, but also is filled with you - this is your problem.

A person has the right to solve his problems independently, even if it seems to you that you would have done it much better.

3. If you constantly pull out a person from misfortunes created by his own actions, then this person will never learn to be responsible, and you will be taught. He is not to blame for this. This you are responsible for the consequences of your destroying pity.

A person cannot become responsible and independent if he does not provide opportunities to learn this and / or show existing skills.

4. If you want your partner to take responsibility for all your problems, you, and not a partner are responsible for the fact that in the end you will not ask anything and will decide for you what you need.

By giving responsibility, we give freedom of choice.

5. Mature love involves taking responsibility for their actions towards the partner, even if it is concern about him.

We can help your beloved person in his problems, but not to be in our debt and was forced to demonstrate the same love in response, but in order for him to be good.

So, mature love is the love of personalities, whose I have integrity and does not need to be filling at the expense of a partner. Such love does not need an occupation of someone else's territory, because has its own internal "expanses" filled with resources. In this case, I adaptively and well coordinates needs with real life. That is why the partner for its owner is a joyful, generous and free communication, not related to the needs of survival.

Among the feelings that are not subject to nor the obstacles, the main thing that is neither tritely sounds, love remains! The love of a mature man sometimes flashes brightly and exciting, and the fire of such a feeling, in contrast to the fireworks of youth, leaves the ashes and tlen, but gives long and warm sensations, continuing to burn smoothly and honeymaster and calmly.

This is ideal, it is so to speak in a common, desirable model, and in practice ... in practice it happens, of course differently. Maturity - the concept of relative. Adult for years and on successes on a social field man, maybe it's suddenly in a relationship with a woman to reveal from an unexpected side.

In each of us lives and adult, and the parent, and the child. So they say psychologists. And when a mature, magician life experience, a man is revealed before the object of his passion, the child can break through the prohibitions and taboos. And become the main acting face of the game called Love.

Love works wonders. Opening, and most importantly, realizing that the "adult" relationship does not threaten something "wrong", the consciousness of a man produces a child to enjoy and get the most severe feeling from the flammable feeling.

The love of a mature man can be mutual, and so let's say correct in all respects. Not Mesallians, not a novel with a married lady, but pure and mutually informed relations of equal partners. And leaving doubts, an adult half of his "I", a mature man can allow the child to emerge from the depths of the subconscious and take the brazers of the board in their hands. From such internal permutations, the feeling flashes brightly. His fire warms, but does not burn.

The difference in age is also not a hindrance. An experienced, sophisticated adult man, sophisticated in sex games, is ready to surround care, attention, caressing young creation. With such a partner, the girl will easily feel like a princess. Her the slightest desires are predicted, and the caprises are taken calmly and easily, and the main thing is the response.

Every day love mature man It is becoming increasingly deep and multifaceted. He is ready to give gifts, not believing with material costs. Favorite for him turns into adoration. If a mature man finds a response to his feelings, it does not pass for half a year, as a girl hears the desired offer.

And what's the difference that the chosen one is over for several years of her parents, that they have no common interests yet, and that others often take her daughter of the gentleman.

Speaking trust, to know the love of a mature man seeking many young creatures. They assure their girlfriends that the peers are not able to surpass a man of experienced and unique having a powerful Aura charm and the winner's biography.

Why exactly the winner? Because life is arranged in such a way that a person who lived to mature years participated in his life in hundreds of small and large "fights" and in domestic and socially. Paradise life with such a man becomes the subject of the envy of unmarried girlfriends. A fan that forgives errors, tasks expensive gifts and flowers, worthy of adoration. Youth and inexperience cause a desire for men to be the wise adviser and mentor. Of course, understanding its partner, a young woman can become a wise and delicate in family relations with a mature man.

It was still no one else to avoid the first love ... passionate and uncompromising, the one that loses the reason, does not forgive mistakes, and which is ready to kill for one idea that the swan loyalty does not exist. No one else managed to avoid immature love! But if the first love, such an inexperienced and such "green" - the lot of everyone, then, can we say that with age, experience and puddle of an eaten salt, every couple is doomed to mature love? On wise love, which does not push the conditions, does not hold, does not jealous and knows how to forgive? No you can not! If it were so, then the word "divorce" would disappear from the dictionaries, the courts would have broken due to the lack of broken mass processes, and the land would become paradise. Why not every love grow together with relationships? How to find out immature love? How to give her a chance to mature and grow into love, which will never leave, because no one protects the cage from the conventions and does not cut off the wings of freedom?

"Small" adults fall into love

"Fall in love" - \u200b\u200bwe say, and go to the pool with your head. "To Fall in Love" - \u200b\u200bthey say the British, and fall into love. The rashly, unrestrained, as if the truth is, they are shy in the abyss of the head. However, how if this word did not sound in different languages \u200b\u200bof the world, at any point of the planet "Jump in love" make a young man carelessly, as if they gave a bribe the guardian angel and agreed that if the abyss had a bottom, then he would definitely catch and would not give Wake up. But the angels of bribes do not take, and we, hoping for God, create insurance from illusions, and at the same time, and the responsibility is shifted. Fall in love is the prerogative of youth, to gain experience, you need to fill more cones.

Adult mature personalities are not sitting anywhere and do not fail. They come into love, and not flirting to love. For them, love, if there is a drop, then drop up, because real love raises, it assumes and allows you to grow. She is painting and gives the feeling of freedom that you will never feel, being independent of the relationship. Mature feelings do not destroy each other's freedom, but unite, without depriving one's own integrity. Truly loving do not build love in the absolute, as they recognize their imperfection. They grow together with their feeling: learn to love without the right of possession, without requiring worship, and without insisting on reciprocity. They respect themselves, but even more respect then the feeling that may suffocate from too strong hugs, because they will be ready to retreat when space becomes little. It is maturity in relationships from the very steps that shares love and hatred.

Signs of immature love

We are all hostages of error that love is a storm of passions. Loud and humiliating clarification of relationships with accusations, remedies and complaints, and then the same stormy reconciliation with apologetful passionate sex, obsessive sins of sins and promising oaths. Love is very easy to scrolling with storms, as it does this wind with sails, and if they are not removed during a storm, then the sailboat never reaches his shores. So with the relationship: mature know how to behave during the impending storm, not mature - go to the bottom.

Monologue of mature love

"I want to immediately agree on important things with you. I designate me where my eyes should not get. Phone calls, computer with passwords, notebook with secrets, wardrobe with "skeletons", soul with pain? Specify the boundaries of your personal space. And not because you have mystery from me, but because I recognize a person the right to have his own small state into which you can get only at the invitation. I promise not to demand a lifelong visa to visit and not set my orders. This is your space of personal independence, thoughts, feelings, experiences, past and future. I also ask for my right to personal territory. Stick before entering me, and not my "cockroaches".

If you suddenly change me, leave this revelation in that cabinet with the "skeletons". For what you do not know - there is no! This knowledge can hurt me the soul, but can I find you with a wounded soul? I promise to do everything to stay as interesting as possible for you interesting, beautiful, smart, wise, affectionate, unpredictable and beloved! After all, the beloved woman has no rivals! I also want to ask you in advance for your militancy for your possible betrayal. I am not ideal! I'm just a woman ... promise to forgive me, even if you never know it. If I bet you body, then not because I do not love you ... If suddenly I distribute you, you will know about it first, and before I give my soul and the body to another man.

I conquer you entirely, for I trust you endlessly. But my submission will never be a banal female response to someone else's attention to you. I will constantly act on ahead. I can not shift responsibility for you for dissolved in you and in my love without a rest, forgetting about self-esteem. I understand that it is impossible to love a woman who does not love himself. I will raise myself at trainings on self-improvement, on fitness, in libraries and on culinary courses, just to always remain interesting to our relationship. I will demand to myself ... and to you! I will tell you honestly, what I see your imperfection. I do not want to pretend that everything suits me, and then complain to girlfriends on what you may not even suspect.

But if I suddenly do not have enough female wisdom to understand that I ceased to be an interesting, important, desired, beloved, and you will leave for another earlier than I understand it, do not worry, I will not manipulate you and our love. For me, true love is not when I ask God to be yours, and then when you pray heaven that he is just, and was happy! With you or without you ... I'm ready to give you another, but only with it you will be happier than with me. But I will remember forever that you can get love, just giving it, losing - holding it with a dead grip, and to keep love - you need to give her wings! "