Over time, wedding traditions and rituals are forgotten and become a thing of the past. Very often terms and customs are used that are completely not characteristic of the culture of a particular country. In addition, many people do not understand what engagement and engagement are, and what the difference is between them.

How did the betrothal stage go before?

Engagement is the putting on of rings for the bride and groom. In ancient times, wedding ceremonies were divided into several stages. Initially, there was a civil engagement, which was carried out according to existing local traditions. The betrothal ceremony was performed solemnly, with the signing of the marriage contract.

The process was accompanied by the joining of the hands of the newlyweds, the groom gave a ring. Since the 10th century, they have already performed betrothal in the church, accompanying this rite with appropriate prayers. However, for a long time, this ceremony was carried out strictly separately from the wedding.

Since the 17th century, betrothal has been considered to be the naming of young people by the bride and groom. This ceremony became a kind of test of the lovers' fidelity, since they were no longer free, although they observed chastity before the official marriage. The engagement was separated from the wedding by a certain time. This ceremony was attended only by close relatives, as well as matchmaker and matchmaker. From that day on, the young kept the rings and exchanged them only on the day of the wedding.

In our time, the engagement and the wedding are performed immediately on the same day, so it is imperative to choose the right rings for this event. Before the wedding, the newlyweds must register their relationship with the registry office and from there go to church for the wedding. In the church, at the wedding, the newlyweds put on one more ring each.

What is an engagement

All wedding events begin with a visit by the groom to the bride's house and a gala dinner. After dinner, the groom announces the reason for his visit, even if everyone already knows for what purpose he visited the house. After a few phrases and a short story about himself, the groom kneels down in front of the bride's parents and solemnly asks for her hand in marriage. If both parties agree, then the young couple can safely announce their engagement.

An engagement signifies an agreement between young people about the desire to tie their destiny. And parental consent marks the beginning of pre-wedding preparations. The custom of vigorously celebrating an engagement came from the West, just like the tradition of getting down on one knee and proposing to the bride while presenting a ring.

The ancestors also had a celebration called matchmaking. After obtaining the consent of the girl, from that moment on, she was considered betrayed. After this ceremony, the bride no longer worried about her future and calmly waited for the wedding.

What is the difference between engagement and engagement

Many are interested in how engagement differs from betrothal, and how exactly these rituals take place. Betrothal in Orthodoxy plays a very important role, so some couples still consider it correct to remove the rings from the left hand and change them to the right. Many people confuse the rites of engagement and betrothal. During the official engagement, parents of young people who have already met should discuss financial issues.

Today, the engagement can be carried out in a youth format both at home and in a cafe or restaurant. During this ceremony, no official documents are signed. Usually the engagement is organized on the day the documents are submitted to the registry office, but it can be held at any other time.

Betrothal is necessarily carried out in the church in the presence of a priest. During the ceremony, a paper is signed regarding the new status of the couple, since certain obligations are imposed on them. This document has no official force.

What is Church Betrothal

Betrothal is done in the presence of the priest, relatives and friends of the couple. During the engagement, the couple exchanges rings in the presence of responsible witnesses, and officially declares their desire to become husband and wife.

This ceremony does not oblige to anything at all, it acts only as a certain public demonstration of relations. However, true believers attach great importance to church betrothal. Even if there was no solemn betrothal, it can be present at the wedding, but in a much more abbreviated form. At the entrance to the church, the priest betrothed the groom to the bride.

Features of secular engagement

Many are interested in how the engagement takes place, and what exactly this ceremony is characterized by. If people are not religious, then you can carry out the engagement the way you want, organize an additional holiday for yourself, during which the groom will give a ring.

If a guy gave a girl a ring and made an offer, then from that moment on, the couple can consider themselves engaged. If there was no betrothal, then you can symbolically exchange rings even after the future newlyweds submit an application to the registry office.

The meaning of the wedding ring

The ring owes its appearance to the ancient Egyptian civilization of the period when art began to actively develop. Rings immediately after their first appearance became a certain symbol of a special situation. They were worn by people who had power. Gradually, the jewelry became a symbol of betrothal, and it was presented by the groom to the bride during the marriage. Initially, the rings were made of metal, and then gradually the quality of the material changed. The Romans wore the jewelry on their left hand, as they believed that a vein runs from this finger directly to the heart.

Christians also borrowed this ancient symbolism from the Romans. In the 4th century, Christians began to use this attribute as a symbol of marriage. The wedding ring is necessarily worn on the ring finger of the right or left hand. And on the day of the official wedding, the jewelry is removed even before meeting with the groom, in order to then put it on over the wedding one.

What are the nuances of wedding ceremonies

After looking at the photo of the engagement, you can see exactly how this rite looks like. When conducting, it is imperative to take into account certain nuances. The marriage is concluded at the registry office before the wedding, since many priests refuse to conduct the sacrament if the newlyweds do not provide an official paper.

In addition, the wedding can be held after a certain period of time after the registration of the marriage. Some couples are already getting married for a silver or gold wedding. The Church welcomes when people approach this process responsibly, even if it will be a few years after entering into an official marriage.

During a painting with a registry office or a wedding in a church, the bride and groom exchange rings and promise each other to be faithful for life. Some women consider the rites of engagement or betrothal as an opportunity to receive another ring as a gift, no more, absolutely not thinking about their significance. Is there a difference between engagement and betrothal, and how are these rites performed?

Excursion into the past

Two centuries ago, preparation for the wedding was carried out in 3 stages.

First, the girl was wooed: the groom's parents came to the bride's house to find out if the parents agreed to become related, to give their daughter for their son. In most cases, they were not even interested in whether the girl liked the groom. At the same time, the amount of the dowry was determined.

After meeting the parents, the young already officially communicated, but they were considered the bride and groom conditionally, if the parents were preparing for marriage in advance.

After the matchmaking, there was still the possibility of a reverse move - although the one who refused to continue preparing for the event had to give weighty arguments to the other side so as not to be disgraced.

Then the families met again - there was going to be a drunk or "hand-to-hand". Parents were precisely determined with finances - the young arranged something like a "party", where the official status of the bride and groom among their peers was recognized. During this meeting, they discussed how and when the betrothal ceremony would take place.

The betrothal was performed in a monastery or church, in public. The closest people were invited as guests, but the doors were not closed, and anyone could watch the ritual.

The young people had to exchange rings of different values: first, the bride was handed - not put on a finger, you need to pay attention - a silver jewelry, and the groom - a gold one. Three times exchange of rings under the recitative of the priest, reading out the words of a special prayer, and the bride had a gold ring, as a symbol of the reliability of the future husband, and the groom - a silver one. Silver reflected the woman's weakness, her softness.

Despite the fact that betrothal in the church already emphasized the inevitability of marriage, after it the young in
sexual relations did not enter - the bride had to maintain innocence until the wedding.

Before the wedding, it had to pass from 3 weeks to six months, at least - sometimes the transition to the status of husband and wife was postponed for years. Before wars, foreign "Business trips", the stronger sex tried to have time to carry out several rituals: matchmaking and betrothal, in order to be sure that the bride would wait.

The wedding was postponed - otherwise a man would have to be faithful on his travels. At that time, the judgment of God was feared more than public condemnation, and not everyone dared to violate certain canons.

Wedding rings are worn on the left hand, on the ring finger. Betrothal in Orthodoxy still plays a huge role. Some couples, as in the old days, consider it right to take off their wedding rings from their left hand on their wedding day and put them on their right hand. It is not for nothing that the rings that young people put on each other have long been called engagement.

Engagement

The rituals of engagement and betrothal are very often confused. During the engagement, the parents of the young people who have already met in advance should discuss financial issues. In the old days, this rite was called "hand-arm", the word "engagement" came from the West.

Nowadays, the young are holding the engagement as a youth party.

Friends are invited, the couple officially enters into the status of the bride and groom, the groom gives the bride a ring - a return gift is optional. They shout "bitterly".

During the engagement, relatives and parents may be present, it can be held at home or in an entertainment establishment. No official papers are signed.

Usually, the engagement is arranged on the day the application is submitted to the registry office, but you can choose another time.

To buy rings for the bride - if an engagement is arranged - the groom has to twice. An engagement ring is different from an engagement ring and it is not possible to get by with one gift.

Difference between engagement and engagement

Engagement and betrothal rites have much in common, but there are also significant differences.

Betrothal in the registry office is not carried out - it is a religious ceremony that is performed in a church or in another religious institution, in the presence of clergy. An official paper is signed on the new status of the young, certain responsibilities are imposed on them, they are officially exchanged gifts.

An engagement is an additional opportunity for non-religious people to arrange a fun holiday for themselves. Instead of a ring, the groom can give the bride car keys or a teddy bear, furnish the event in a playful manner, hold it on the road, at home or in a restaurant.

When a couple celebrates a wedding in order to pay tribute to fashion, the clergyman can conduct the betrothal - by agreement in advance - before the wedding. These rituals in Orthodoxy must follow one another.

An engagement before official registration is not obligatory - many couples neglect it - a "bachelor party" and a "bachelorette party" are enough for them.

Some nuances of modern wedding ceremonies

The official registration of marriage is carried out before the wedding - many priests refuse to carry out the ceremony if the young do not present an official paper. Moreover, the wedding can currently be postponed indefinitely after registration.
Some couples test themselves with "civil" relationships, and get married on the eve of a decade or even a silver wedding. People explain that they wanted to check their relationship, deal with feelings, so as not to deceive themselves and God.

It turns out that engagement is not necessary for non-religious people - after it, the bride and groom must demonstrate their chastity before the wedding, and it is simply ridiculous to expect an immaculate relationship from a couple with solid family experience.

Engagement is a tradition that has been around for centuries. She is the key to a strong family life. Its purpose is to obtain permission or blessing from parents for a future marriage.

Our ancestors called this rite "hand-arm" or "conspiracy", during which the parents of the bride and groom made the decision about the wedding.

Engagement Traditions in the Modern World

An engagement in the temple testifies to the seriousness of intentions entering into marriage

Orthodox believers believe that the foundations of respectful relationships in the family are being laid in the church. Church rite of betrothal and subsequent distinguished by meaningfulness and holiness... In the presence of numerous witnesses, the young make a promise in the church before God, relatives and friends, to be together in sorrow and joy until the end of days.

But before performing the sacrament of this rite, you need to know what an engagement is.

Traditionally, the groom makes a formal marriage proposal at the time of the engagement. To do this, he comes to the bride's house and asks for her hand, but the visit must be informed in advance in order to avoid unpredictable moments.

First, the groom's appeal should be addressed to the father, then to the bride's mother and his chosen one.

If the "go-ahead" for the upcoming wedding is received, then the rite of giving an engagement ring... The groom gives his betrothed a ring, which is a guarantee of strong love.

A girl should put a gift on her ring finger and wear it before the wedding. At the time of the wedding, a wedding ring is worn over it.

Which ring to choose for an engagement

Giving an engagement ring indicates that the groom's intentions are serious.

• The ring must be with a stone.
• The princess and oval shapes are popular with most brides.

The main condition of the engagement is a positive response to the proposal to be married and that the bride is satisfied with the gift.

Girl, accepting the ring, thereby giving consent to the marriage.

With a successful marriage, the ring can turn into a family heirloom and decorate the weddings of children and even grandchildren.

Can an engagement be terminated? If it is terminated for some reason, gifts must be returned. The fact is that rings of this kind can have a heirloom designation or are extremely expensive.

During the engagement, the main organizational issues are resolved

• Wedding planning, budget and investment for each family.
• The conditions of life and the place of residence of the future newlyweds after the wedding are discussed.
• The issues of forming the budget of the newly-made family are discussed.
• After the engagement, detailed preparation for the wedding begins.

From engagement to wedding ceremony takes from a month to six... Whether it is worth prolonging the preparation for the wedding for a longer period is up to the future newlyweds to decide. But in any case, this period is given to resolve the basic issues of cohabitation, family budget and careful preparation for the wedding.

1. Where to celebrate.
2. How many guests to invite.
3. How to arrange and to whom to send an invitation to a celebration.
4. What outfit to choose.
5. Where to spend your honeymoon.
6. And there are many more important questions.

A bit of history

Engagement in Russia has been an obligatory stage in preparation for marriage since ancient times and took place in the following order:

In some of our regions there was a tradition that the bride was not allowed to appear at the engagement, in this case all agreements were negotiated by the parents in the presence of the groom.

It was forbidden for the engaged to meet before the wedding.

An engagement scenario could be as follows

1. In a refined setting, the groom invites his beloved to become a wife.
2. Then they guess the right moment and inform their relatives of their intentions.
3. After that, you should choose a day of engagement that is convenient for everyone, guests are invited and a feast is organized.
4. Further, at the family council, the scenario of the upcoming wedding ceremony is discussed.

Different scenarios are practiced from economical, when everything takes place in a narrow family circle, to premium class. In this case, the young couple should have an impressive amount of money and trust a professional holiday agency, thanks to which the event will be remembered for a long time.

The main thing is to preserve the meaning of a special pre-wedding tradition and observe all stages:

In Russian traditions the engagement is celebrated by the bride... After the official presentation, it will be appropriate to arrange a fun celebration with friends in a cafe or bowling club, nightclub or disco. Lovers of outdoor recreation can have a barbecue.

Interesting scenarios of the celebration

A well-planned and well-planned engagement will serve as a good rehearsal for the wedding.

The following variants of this holiday are most common.

Ancient engagement

The atmosphere of this theme will be well supported by the decoration of the room, the outfits of the guests and the menu of Russian cuisine with pancakes and pies.

Buffet in European style

Western style involves serving a buffet or buffet table at home or in a restaurant with the presentation of souvenirs in memory of the holiday. For this event, gifts in the form of bed linen, household appliances and other items necessary for the young couple's household should be brought to the bride and groom as a gift. It is a good European tradition to present guests with envelopes with words of gratitude for attending a holiday with an invitation to a wedding celebration. Diamond ring donation also comes from European traditions.

Theme party assumes the presence of fantasy and individuality. Programs can be organized in pirate, retro, cowboy and other styles.

• The time of the engagement should not depend on the trip to the registry office.
• An engagement is a small rehearsal of the wedding and it is worth thinking over the details of the celebration: from the design and script of the program to a thoughtful menu.
• You don't need to combine your engagement with a bachelor or bachelorette party.

So what is an engagement? First of all, this is a holiday for two lovers, therefore, everything that happens is in their honor.

An engagement party can be a grand event that will help you feel the joy of anticipating the wedding and the importance of the decision to get married.

Regardless of the chosen holiday format, it should be imbued with happiness and warmth.

The engagement consists in the announcement of the young that they have decided to become husband and wife. As a rule, during this period, the bride and groom decide the preparation for the wedding, prepare for the coming married life. It is during this period that they can still abandon their decision. The engagement ceremony is a very beautiful tradition that you need to know about and take into account all the subtleties of its implementation.

According to tradition, engagement (formerly armwrestling) follows matchmaking and precedes betrothal, and is an important point in pre-wedding preparation. This ceremony expresses the seriousness and importance of your relationship. If you are not sure of your desire to start a family with this particular person, you should not announce your engagement just because your friends did so. Today, of course, this rite is more conditional and is not an obligatory necessity, it is treated as an outdated formality or a beautiful custom that precedes the main moment in life. Whereas before, after the hand-arm, the wedding simply could not fail to take place. Only extraordinary circumstances, war or natural disasters could interfere with the wedding. And in pre-Petrine times, violation of the conspiracy was equated with insulting the bride, and the stipulated documents even indicated an impressive amount for refusing to enter into marriage.

As a rule, the day of filing an application with the registry office is the day of the engagement. After that, the couple has only a month to really decide for themselves whether this marriage is needed, whether I want to link my fate with this person, so that later I do not regret what has happened.

The parents of the bride and groom should be the first to know about the engagement of their children - this is the main condition of this ceremony. According to Russian tradition, the future husband asks for the hand of his beloved from her father. By the way, this custom has roots in the deep past, when the man was the head of the family, and this status was unshakable.

As a rule, the bride and groom organize a meeting of parents from both sides to discuss the details of the future wedding (to determine the number and composition of guests, the venue, the organization of the wedding, to discuss possible options for helping the parents to the newlyweds at first, etc.).

As soon as the parents' consent to the marriage is received, and the application is submitted to the registry office, this event can be celebrated by arranging, for example, a gala dinner, at which the engagement and the expected date of the wedding can be announced. You can celebrate this event anywhere, it all depends on your imagination and material condition. If you have plans to draw up and sign a marriage contract, then this event is the best fit for this. From this point on, the couple can be called the bride and groom.

In the old days, the bride's parents appointed a conspiracy day and time. Often the groom's parents were invited to the bride's house for a holiday under various pretexts, while not a word was said to them about the true reasons for the celebration. The groom himself, his parents and close relatives were going to the bride's house with gifts. In the bride's house, guests were received with all kinds of honors, bowed to each other and exchanged gifts. The gift to the bride could be in the form of a ring, a scarf, gold jewelry, etc. Previously, according to custom, the bride was absent during the conspiracy, but at the end of the evening, on behalf of the bride, one of her relatives brought gifts for the groom and his family. As a rule, the bridegroom was presented with an embroidered shirt, sewn with her own hands. From the conspiracy to the wedding, regardless of the length of the deadline, the groom had no right to see the bride. The timeframe from conspiracy to marriage could vary, from a week to several months, depending on the circumstances. Later, the custom of not seeing the bride disappeared; the groom could see the bride at any time after the engagement. Before the ceremony of mating, the groom could see the bride only during the show. It is worth noting that in any public place in the presence of people, the couple could see each other, but no meetings in private before the parental blessing were possible.

The guests were seated in places of honor under the shrine. For several minutes the guests and hosts sat in silence - this was demanded by the then customs. At the table, the bride's father announced the engagement in the form of a short toast speech, ending with a toast. The bride and groom sat side by side at the table, on the right hand of the bride were the parents of the groom, on the left hand of the groom were the parents of the bride. For the engagement, the bride wore a light festive dress, and the groom wore a formal suit. Then the so-called row entry was written, which indicated the names of the newlyweds, the expected date of the wedding, the groom's obligation to marry the bride, the obligations of the bride's relatives to marry her and give her a certain dowry (literally everything was entered), as well as possible "fines", forfeit or backtracking for non-fulfillment of duties, etc. The retreating side had to pay the amount corresponding to the state. This amount has always been so great that a burden fell on the shoulders of the offender. It was also not uncommon for a line entry to include a condition that the husband should not beat his wife so that the offense could be punished.

On the occasion of the engagement in wealthy Russian families, the bride's parents held balls with abundant refreshments. Invitations to the celebration were made in the form of special tickets and sent out to those invited, sometimes older family members made announcements in newspapers that announced this joyful event. Close relatives, acquaintances and influential persons were invited to the ball, where the head of the family officially represented the bride and groom to everyone.

Although the engagement could take place completely at home, without inviting guests. In this case, the parents themselves or the priest who was invited to this event blessed the bride and groom with an icon, and the families exchanged bread and salt. The fathers of the future husband and wife made seven bows to each other and called the wedding date. If the bride's father died, then his place was taken by her brother, or godfather or other male relative. After receiving the parental blessing, the bride and groom traditionally exchanged rings. From that moment on, the young were considered engaged.

According to a long-standing Russian tradition, on the day of the engagement, the groom, as a sign of strong love, presents the bride with an engagement ring, as a rule, with one or more precious stones. On this ring, on its inner side, the groom ordered the engagement date engraving. In addition, the initials of the groom were indicated on the bride's ring, and the bride's on the groom's ring. If the bride accepts the ring, this indicates a confirmation of the intentions of both to marry. If the bride rejects the groom's offer of marriage, then she refuses the ring presented to her. The choice of the ring remains with the groom, there are no special rules, it all depends on certain preferences. As a rule, the bride wears the wedding ring on the ring finger of her right hand before the wedding, and removes it on the wedding day before meeting the groom. Then it can be worn over the wedding ring, and if the marriage is successful, it can be inherited.

Engagement in the traditions of different countries.
In each country, the engagement ceremony had its own characteristics. So, for example, in Germany, it symbolized the beginning of marital relations. Immediately after the engagement, the couple began to live, as it is now commonly called, a civil marriage. Moreover, this period for a young couple could last for more than one year. During this time, the newlyweds established the degree of compatibility and "built" a warm and cozy nest.

In Italy, this rite meant preparation for the wedding, while the groom, right up to the wedding, was only allowed to sometimes visit the bride within the walls of her house under the obligatory supervision of the parents.

In Japan, the bride and groom met exactly at the engagement, since the marriage took place by agreement of the parents. It was considered an official ceremony in which, if the groom's intentions regarding compliance with all the formalities were serious, he presented nine gifts to the bride. If the groom refused to comply with the formalities, he gave fewer gifts. At the same time, the groom's relatives presented future relatives with material compensation and gifts with wishes of good luck. The brides' relatives, for their part, had to present future relatives in an amount that is half the amount received. Today in Japan this custom is observed less and less, and grooms give rings to their lovers in the European manner.

In Switzerland, after the engagement, the young had to conduct a conversation with a priest, which was a kind of test for their readiness for married life.

In Spain, a couple could end an engagement if the wedding was delayed for more than three months.

In Islamic countries, according to Sharia, engagement is the moment the bride is introduced to the groom, when he is allowed to see her face and exchange a few phrases, but only in the obligatory presence of her relatives. You cannot touch the bride before the wedding.

The engagement for a young couple is a trial period in which they test each other's reliability and ability to support. This period shows how strong the trust of the bride and groom to each other, whether they understand each other, whether they can accept each other's habits and shortcomings. This is the time when the couple finally decides for themselves whether to stay free or to seal their relationship with marriage.

Nika Kravchuk

How does an engagement ceremony differ from an engagement and wedding ceremony?

In our time, the sacrament of the wedding includes weddings and betrothal. But earlier in the Orthodox Church, these two rituals were separated: first, the future spouses exchanged rings as a sign of loyalty to each other, and after a while they came to the church to get married - to ask for God's blessing for marriage. Why are they getting engaged and married in one go today? In what cases does the Church still allow the separation in time of two orders: the rite of betrothal and the sacrament of marriage (wedding)? Why do spouses wear wedding rings? You will find answers to these and many other interesting questions below.

Betrothal rite: there are obligations, but no rights yet

If you have ever attended a wedding in the Orthodox Church, then surely remember that it begins with an engagement. The bride and groom stand in the narthex of the temple, the priest approaches them, hands them lighted candles and leads them directly into the temple. This symbolic action indicates that the future spouses are now before the Face of God. After this, a supplicatory litany begins: the priest prays for the whole world and directly for the bride and groom. After that, he reads a special prayer for the blessing of the betrothed and puts rings on them, the future husband - his wife, and the wife - the spouse. The crowned must exchange rings three times.

Then the wedding begins immediately, which in its meaning and external action differs from the previous rite. How does an engagement fall short of a full-fledged marriage? The betrothed are subject to the obligations of the spouses, but the boy and the girl do not yet have marital rights.

The betrothal ceremony and the wedding can in a sense be compared with announcement and baptismand also with evening services and Liturgy... In which? Let's try to explain.

In the ancient Church, before being baptized, a person had to go through an announcement - for a long time he studied the basics of the accepted faith. Before baptism, he could attend the Liturgy, but he had to stand in the vestibule and leave the church when he hears the words of the priest “Elitsa of censure, go out” - then only the faithful, that is, the baptized, remained.

Remember, before the betrothal, the future spouses also stand in the narthex, and directly enter the central part only with the priest.

How does the relationship between the betrothal rite and the wedding ceremony resemble the evening one with the Liturgy?

Just as the Liturgy is more important than other services, so the wedding is more important than the betrothal. Interestingly, the rite of betrothal begins with an exclamation of the evening or morning - "Blessed be our God", and the sacrament of marriage - liturgical "Blessed Kingdom ...".

So what is the meaning of the betrothal ceremony, and why was it previously separated from the wedding?

What do wedding rings symbolize?

The very word "betrothal" comes from the Slavic "hoop", that is, a ring. The name itself indicates that the future spouses exchanged rings during this action. Just as rings have no end or beginning, so future spouses should have endless love and fidelity.

In the Bible, the ring usually appears as a symbol of power or a detail that indicates a specific person. Signs were used to seal important contracts. If you pass your ring on to someone else, you will no longer hide your connection with this person from others.

Thus, the rings in the engagement ceremony symbolize:

1. Boundless love and unbreakable bond;
2. Loyalty of the spouses;
3. The power of one spouse over another.

Rings were made from different materials: for a woman - golden (symbolized femininity, tenderness, obedience to her husband), and for a man - silver (indicated power over the wife, following the example of Christ and the Church). There is another symbolism: when the betrothed exchange rings, the girl gives the future spouse a silver ring as a sign of her purity, and he gives her a gold ring, thereby showing that she trusts her spouse to manage household issues and property. Today, the material is not given so much attention, most often two gold rings are chosen.

Why did the engagement and wedding split up in the past?

The betrothal ceremony is not yet the wedding itself, but it is already the first step on the way to creating a family. The action begins with the intention, in this case the intention to marry, to be faithful to one person.

Sometimes situations arise when a guy and a girl dream of a family, but they cannot yet become it fully. In ancient times, when the bride and groom were often picked up by parents, they betrothed them at a very young, or even childhood. This was especially common in royal families. If the groom is 10 years old, and the bride is only seven, then what kind of full-fledged family, the birth of children can we talk about? The future spouses were engaged and waited for the moment when they would be ready for the wedding.

How long it will take before the wedding was decided individually in each case. But, apparently, over time, unpleasant stories in the style of "the groom escaped" or "the bride changed her mind" became more frequent. To prevent this from happening, in 1775 the Holy Synod issued simultaneous engagement and wedding decree in the temple.

This system has survived to this day. But there are exceptions. What if two people love each other, but they are still students and cannot live a full-fledged family? Or should one of them leave for a year or two to study or work in another country?

In order to support such young people in their situation, it is allowed to conduct an engagement ceremony (that is, the corresponding rite in the temple), to pray for the creation of a future family. When this couple is ready to create a full-fledged family, the priest will perform the sacrament of marriage over them.

Engagement ≠ engagement

Many people today wonder whether engagement is the same as engagement or not? No, these are different actions.

The betrothal rite is necessarily carried out in the temple with the help of a priest. Future spouses exchange rings.

An engagement is a secular addition to a future wedding. The groom proposes to the bride and gives her a ring, there is no response from the girl. Often they throw an engagement party for family and friends. With all this, the couple indicates the seriousness of their intentions.

To learn more about the sacrament of the wedding, betrothal and preparation for them, watch this video:

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