Eye contact with a girl is an important pickup move. How to make eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most powerful energy practices on the planet. People who look into each other's eyes experience a deeper connection, better understanding and trust. If you want to know more about a person, just keep your eyes on him longer than usual. The same should be done if you want to know his opinion about you. The eyes of the interlocutor (unlike words) will not be able to lie. They will give out all his experiences, emotions and feelings.

What is the power of verbal communication?

The practice of exchanging glances, or eye contact, is a non-verbal communication technique. Why, of all types of body language, this one has surprisingly limitless resources? People are social beings. In addition, our actions and ideas are filled with spirituality. Our distant ancestors noticed that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. We just have to agree with this statement. When we look at a stranger with interest, we experience strong feelings and give free rein to fantasy. If we catch the gaze of another person on ourselves, it confuses us and makes us tremble. However, communication stalls if the interlocutors cannot make eye contact with each other.

"Gate of the Soul"

It is not forbidden by society. You can look at whoever you want: at a stranger, at household members, at friends and at romantic partners (by the way, this is a common practice in tantric sex). As we have already said, the eyes are the mirror of the soul, or, as the English say, "the gate of the soul." This means that they can be used as a tool to connect the physical and spiritual worlds. They help interlocutors experience more vivid visions or touch non-physical aspects (aura).

A closer look changes the mind

The Italian psychologist Giovanni Caputo conducted an experiment based on a children's game of staring. He managed to discover that a long gaze directed into the eyes of another person can change consciousness. Without psychotropic excipients, 90 percent of participants saw distorted features in their partner's face. Exactly half of the participants recognized themselves in the person standing opposite. 15 percent of the volunteers saw a reflection of their deceased relative in the guise of a partner in the experiment.

Neural adaptation

One explanation for the altered state of consciousness is neural adaptation. Neurons in the human brain can slow down or completely stop responding to constant stimulation. So, when you look at an object, your perception of it may change. If you do not blink and begin to keep your eyes on the object to the "victory end", you may be lucky to see the distortion of the object's shape. However, this explanation does not take into account the depth of human interaction. Eyes convey feelings, they are filled with spiritual content. This is a much more complex mechanism.

How does eye contact affect communication?

Many people are afraid to direct their gaze into the eyes of the interlocutor, especially if an unfamiliar person is standing opposite. However, in society, such behavior has not gained approval. At any psychological training, they tell how important it is to establish eye contact with a partner at the first meeting. However, people are not always eager to do this, especially if there is a stranger opposite. A number of aspects can become a reason for fear: congenital shyness, disrespect for the interlocutor, social stratification or prejudice.

association game

An interesting experiment was conducted by employees of the University of Kyoto (Japan). The researchers observed a group of volunteers who played an association game and at the same time faced a choice: look into the eyes of the interlocutor during their move or look away. Participants had to choose associative verbs for different words. For example, the word "knife" can be associated with the verbs "cut" or "stab". As a result, people experienced the greatest difficulty in making eye contact when they found it difficult to find an association.

Interference when running two processes at the same time

The compound word baffled the participant and at the same time forced them to look away. For example, the word "hand" caused difficulties due to the large choice of associations. Hands can take notes, play, clean something, make a wave, point, greet someone, and so on. Based on this experiment, Japanese scientists concluded: “Despite the fact that eye contact and verbal processing are independent actions, people often look away from their interlocutors during a conversation. This suggests that there is some kind of interference between these two processes.”

Why is the person looking away?

So, we have seen that a person can ignore the eyes of the interlocutor, not only because he feels hostility or fear. Eye contact is really connected to spoken words. Therefore, if someone looks away while talking to you, do not rush to get angry. This is not at all rude or tactless. Probably, at the moment, the opponent's cognitive system is simply overloaded. These findings also explain another behavioral feature. When you stare into the eyes of another person (such as a romantic partner), you are trying to remain silent. Non-verbal communication is more powerful than verbal communication. Indeed, sometimes words are superfluous.

The experience of exchanging glances with a stranger

These are the experiments that people conduct in psychological training. Participants sit in a circle and perform the indicated actions. A person sitting on the right hand is usually offered as a partner in the game of "peepers". Having formed pairs, the participants begin to stare into each other's eyes. What do they think about it? They did not know the person sitting next to them before the training began. Before the start of the psychological experiment, they managed to exchange only a smile on duty. At the first stage of the task, their faces remain serious, but after a few minutes, the awkwardness of the situation dissipates and a feeling of comfort is created.

Feeling warm and grateful

If the people who formed a couple are representatives of different sexes, sympathy is almost always observed between them. At such a moment, you can easily convince yourself that there is a potential chosen one or chosen one in front of you. An aura appears around the body of strangers, they smile at each other and their hearts fill with warmth. Sometimes, at the end of a visual experiment, tears roll down the cheeks of one of the participants. They feel that a person who was once a stranger to them can now become a faithful life partner. At the end of the time, the partners in the experiment hug each other as a token of gratitude.

How to move the conversation in the right direction?

After the games of "peeping" are left behind, the participants begin to talk with each other. Now between them the psychological and emotional barrier is destroyed. They can talk about goals in life, about the correctness of the chosen path, they can give each other advice and voice their own thoughts. Now it is easier for them to put their true feelings into words. It is impossible to feel a closer emotional unity. Now people who were complete strangers yesterday can easily talk about belief systems, family values ​​and touch on the topic of internal contradictions.

Conclusion

If you belong to the category of people who find it difficult to make eye contact with strangers, know that you are not alone. Science has justified your fears. However, don't let discomfort prevent you from getting closer to others.

Eye contact

"Clash of views" in a heated political dispute.

Eye contact, eye-to-eye gaze, is an important part of non-verbal communication in humans and various animal species. The nature of eye contact plays a large role in social behavior. The unspoken rules by which eye contact is judged and optimal duration and frequency are determined vary widely across societies and cultures and change as traditions change. In psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience, the role of eye contact in the development of a child, its social aspects, the impact on the performance of cognitive tasks, as well as the problem of contact avoidance in autism are being studied.

Many animal species react negatively to direct eye contact, likely because it can be a sign of a potential threat. In humans, the role of the gaze is more complex. Thus, some researchers believe that the white sclera of humans, unlike the pigmented sclera of other primates, developed as a result of the need to accurately track eye movements and the direction of gaze. There is evidence that when looking at a face, direct eye contact promotes gender identification and accelerates recognition of familiar faces.

Meeting a direct look, whether in the image or in life, a person pays special attention to it. One study noted that the reaction to surrounding objects slowed down more with direct contact than with looking at a face with an averted gaze. Making eye contact with a stranger increases autonomic nervous system activity in adults, according to another study. This effect of mutual gaze on cognitive processes and behavioral responses is called the “eye contact effect” (eng. eye contact effect).

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See what "Eye contact" is in other dictionaries:

Eye contact- - look into the eyes of the interlocutor during communication. In the Russian culture of communication, it is customary for interlocutors to look into each other's eyes during communication, occasionally breaking eye contact. If someone speaks without looking at the interlocutor, this is a manifestation of ... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

eye contact- look into the eyes of the interlocutor during communication. In the Russian culture of communication, it is customary for interlocutors to look into each other's eyes during communication, occasionally breaking eye contact. If someone speaks without looking at the interlocutor, this is a manifestation of ... ...

eye contact- a method of visual conspiratorial communication, in which two persons, not approaching each other, exchange views, conventional signs, signals. This method is used by operational employees of the state security agencies to communicate with agents, ... ... Counterintelligence Dictionary

This term has other meanings, see Pickup. Ari Schaeffer "Faust Seducing Marguerite" Pick ... Wikipedia

Affiliative communication- manifestation through behavior of interest, goodwill, etc. when interacting with a partner in O. It can be based on both the motive of affiliation and the motive of achievement, self-affirmation. In this case, affiliative behavior ... ... Psychology of communication. encyclopedic Dictionary

oculesica The part of paralinguistics that deals with eye movements and gazes. It is not advisable during a conversation not to look at the interlocutor for a long time, glancing only occasionally (this makes a bad impression in most European cultures); against… … Culture of speech communication: Ethics. Pragmatics. Psychology

The founder of G. century, the radical wing of the group movement, focused on providing psychological assistance to the growth of the individual, is Rogers (Rogers C. R.; first experiments in 1947). His contribution to the group movement ... ... Psychotherapeutic Encyclopedia

Non-verbal communication is a communication interaction between individuals without the use of words (transmission of information or influence on each other through images, intonations, gestures, facial expressions, pantomime, changes in the mise-en-scene of communication), that is, without ... ... Wikipedia

This term has other meanings, see Reflection. Reflection is the simplest form of copying someone as a way of communicating with them. In human behavior, types of reflection are usually observed: adopting a pose, gesturing and highlighting ... ... Wikipedia

The most important component of communication is the look. After all, it is not for nothing that they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. What does eye contact really matter?

From the look depends on how the interaction between people will take place. So, for example, shy people reinforce their insecurity by carefully avoiding eye contact, while self-confident, rude people, on the contrary, look long and intently into the eyes of their interlocutor. With the help of this signaling device, people transmit the necessary information more correctly and efficiently.

The most common interpretation of views says that when communicating, people look at each other about 30-40% of the time. If the contact lasts far less than one third of the entire communication, this may be expressed in such feelings as guilt, despondency, or tritely indicate a lack of attention. In the case when the visual interaction lasts longer, then this may indicate a certain threat.

The duration of eye contact depends on how people relate to each other. On average, from 20 to 40% of the time falls on standard views with acquaintances and friends. For lovers, this figure is 2-3 times higher, from 60 to 80%, but professional leaders, due to their high position, use eye contact from 80 to 100% of the time of all communication to strengthen their authority.

Varieties of the duration of visual contact.

The classification was proposed by Argyle Cook in 1976.

1. Eye contact is more characteristic when listening to information.
2. A glance usually conveys a non-verbal message. This is something “between the lines” that may not be said, but successfully sent. So, for actors it is important to convey a further thought to the viewer before it is voiced and indicated with the help of gestures, playing with the eyes.
3. Of course, the look is also responsible for the mood in relation to the interlocutor. If communication takes place in a positive atmosphere, people form longer eye contact, otherwise short.
4. Visual interaction is also heavily emphasized by gender differences. Yes exactly! Women tend to make more eye contact.
5. In lovers, the pupils dilate as they look at someone who is attractive to them, this is how interest and excitement are expressed.
6. Cultural differences also play a role. So, for example, the Italians are more hospitable and friendly, they look at the interlocutor more often than the traditionally restrained British, and the Japanese try to avoid eye contact, preferring the neck area.
7. A long look often speaks of leadership. The one who looks at the interlocutor longer is usually in a more dominant position than the one who looks less, which indicates humility.

An interesting fact: regarding girls, avoiding the eye can speak not only of shyness, but also of coquetry. The representative of the fair sex, as it were, shows her inaccessibility and at the same time attractiveness. Anthropologists even made a curious conclusion, which is that the connotation of flirting, as it were, invites to ritual persecution, that is, further amorous courtship. There is no doubt that instinct is at the basis of this behavior, since blind ladies also resort to avoiding contact, although they seem to be unable to imbibe this through imitation.

Thus, the gaze can manifest itself for two purposes: as a tool for achieving goals or as a way of intimidation. A person, moving away from visual contact, either expresses social submissiveness by his behavior, or fences himself off from close communication.

How to establish effective eye contact?

What is the best way to achieve your goals? Usually people look at the bridge of the nose or at the point of the third eye located above it. However, according to psychologists, this is not the best option, since it can be regarded as uncomfortable and depressing. Such a look is focused because it is directed only at a certain area, and not at the whole picture. More effective is a defocused look.

Don't misunderstand. Both of these views are useful, but they are used depending on whether you need to focus on details or position yourself not as an observer, but primarily as an interlocutor.

Thus, it is better to look at the face defocused. Such contact is relaxed. At the same time, you can track facial expressions on the partner’s face, notice his emotions.

Tip: you should keep in mind the following zones - small and large triangles, A4 sheet.

• small triangle

This is the connection of the left and right eyes, as well as the mouth. The effectiveness of considering this area is that the finest facial expressions are captured, for example, you can follow a person's breathing.

• big triangle

The head and shoulders form this area. With it, you can analyze the mental states of a person through the tilt of the head, the height of the neck and the movement of the shoulders.

• A4 sheet

The optimal sphere for creating visual contact. Mentally place a sheet in front of a person in a vertical position, it will include the eyes, oral cavity, neck and shoulders.

Typology of views

1. Formal - responsible for the business environment. Aimed at the forehead.
2. Secular - promotes non-intrusive communication. Aimed below the interlocutor's eyes
3. Intimate - expresses the interest of people in each other. Aimed at the neck, from the chest to the eyes.
4. Over glasses - shows a critical evaluative attitude. Such a look has a negative effect on the interlocutor, who, in turn, seeks to move away from the dialogue, for example, by crossing his arms over his chest or crossing his legs.
5. askos - indicates caution, which can be associated with tension and suspicion (in tandem with furrowed eyebrows or lowered corners of the lips) or, conversely, with interest (subject to slightly raised eyebrows or a smile).
6. "Empty" - can talk about embarrassment, shyness, bashfulness and indicate not having the information necessary in the situation.
7. "Doggy" - with a confession of guilt, a look from the bottom up may indicate secrecy, deceit, inconspicuous peeping.

Now you understand how much the look means. He can open such depths that you did not even know about!

Want to know more? Read about

All about eye contact

Translator: Anna Osipova

Editor: Marina Lelyukhina

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The inability to maintain eye contact is one of the most famous, and at the same time, the most obscure features of people with ASD.

What is eye contact?
Visual or eye contact is more than just being able to look someone in the eye.

The face is not just an important part of our image, faces give us the opportunity to receive and transmit information through facial expressions. The ability to face the interlocutor without fear helps us to exchange information, watching the interlocutor's reaction, and letting him know how interesting his words are for us.

Contrary to popular belief, the lack of eye contact with the interlocutor is not at all a reason for an immediate diagnosis of autism. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, eye-to-eye gaze is only one of the non-verbal communication methods, along with facial expressions and body language, in areas of which some impairment can be observed in autism.

Thus, it is not about whether the child knows how to look into the eyes, but about how he uses this skill: whether he knows how to initiate eye contact, keep it and interrupt it, whether he knows what etiquette standards exist for these actions and how to stick to. In other words, an excessively close, "drilling" eye gaze is no less revealing than its absence, and the ability to look into the interlocutor's eyes does not mean that a person does not have an autism spectrum disorder.

It is believed that for many people with autism, the need to maintain eye contact is a big problem. Describing their feelings, many talk about excruciating tension.

Why might it be difficult?

Someone else's gaze suppresses

When you involuntarily note everything, even the smallest details, a strange face brings down an avalanche of information on you: eye movements, pupils expanding in the light, blinking, scarlet capillaries in the eyeball, but besides this eyebrows, a mouth that either closes or opens, lips, teeth - each of its own size and shape. There is so much information that the only way not to die under its avalanche is to look away.

Keeping everything under control is not easy

Initiating, maintaining, and managing eye contact is part of a larger complex task. It is necessary to simultaneously control the sensory channels through which information is received and processed, to keep in mind the norms of behavior accepted in society, to have time not only to process other people's statements, but also to formulate a suitable answer. Solving all these issues requires the ability to multitask and quickly switch attention. For an autistic child, all these skills take a lot of energy.

This confuses

Social norms and norms of decency can be almost impossible to explain. If it is difficult for a child to capture the nuances of someone else's mood, the fear of doing something wrong and offending the interlocutor may be so great that it seems easier to avoid the problem situation.

That is unnecessary

Many people with autism have difficulty recognizing faces. But it is unlikely that someone will come up with the idea of ​​​​maintaining prolonged eye contact with a stranger.
It is pointless
The facial expression of the interlocutor can convey a variety of information, but for someone who has difficulty reading facial signals and recognizing emotions, it will be useless. In fact, the need to look in the face can even make it difficult to understand what the interlocutor is talking about.

It scares

The amygdala is the part of the human brain responsible for linking our memories with our emotions, which ultimately shapes our experience. Scientists believe that there are some abnormalities in the amygdala in autism, the essence of which has yet to be clarified - for example, brain reactions and pupil movements indicate that some autistic people are really afraid to look others in the eye.

First person

Maintaining eye contact is very, very difficult for me! It is so unpleasant and disturbing that it brings pain. Have you heard what they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul? Allowing someone to catch my eye, I feel like I'm allowing that person to get inside of me. Therefore, forcing me to make eye contact is like disarming and injuring my soul.
I want to fight this feeling of insecurity, so I will not look at faces, but will look away like a Turgenev girl, which can be regarded by others as shame, shyness or self-doubt. Those. it turns out that society dictates to me “I need to look into my eyes” - this makes me even less interested in communicating with someone.
Over the years, I have learned to focus and look exclusively at the mouth of the interlocutor during a conversation, throwing a couple of quick glances into the eyes so as not to look rude. As a result, I learned to perfectly read lips, which is very convenient when you have to watch TV in a noisy airport.

Is eye contact important?
If a person looks away, then this can create problems in communication and lead to misunderstanding: the lack of important signals and emotional contact looks like a lack of interest.
Although eye contact is a very effective way of non-verbal communication, it is far from the only one. There are many other ways to interact and connect with someone without making eye contact.
There are also many situations in which looking away is typical and expected behavior. In many cultures, staring can be seen as rude or aggressive. In addition, it is considered normal to turn away or focus on something when a person is thinking and trying to solve some problem.
Eye contact is something very personal and even intimate. Forcing someone to make eye contact when it is unpleasant for a person is like sitting him in front of you and yelling in his ear. As a result, the resulting stress and overexcitation only interfere with communication.

How can you help?
If you want to help a person who is looking away, reduce their anxiety - there are many ways to achieve this.
Don't push or demand
For people who do not like to make eye contact, it is extremely important to know in advance that they are not forced to do so. Just let them be natural, never grab them by the chin and say, "Look into their eyes when they talk to you!"
Do not judge the attention of the interlocutor by the eyes
Some people do not need to look at the interlocutor to concentrate on what they are saying: in fact, the fact that the interlocutor does not look at you allows him to focus on what you are saying.
Think what you say
"Look at me!" - a rather vague indication. Watch where? To your face? In the book you keep? On the board where you draw with a marker? What do you want to achieve with this? Get attention? Make sure you are being heard? Do you encourage attention? Or improve feedback? If you force someone to look up, while stressing the person, it will not lead to anything good.
Explain what and why you need
Looking a person in the eye is not the same as maintaining eye contact with them, despite the fact that we teach our children that this is it. Those who find this difficult or uncomfortable often realize that “something is wrong with them,” but without understanding the reasons why this is important to others. By taking the time to explain the benefits of eye contact, you and the other person can communicate more constructively.
Also explain when it's not needed.
It is also very important to know when not to look the interlocutor in the eye. The norms and rules adopted in society regarding this are quite complex, and it would not be correct to expect people with autism, who are very vulnerable, to understand these rules without detailed preliminary explanations. For example, if a girl is staring at a stranger on a bus, it can be inadvertently misinterpreted, just as closing the eyes of a man in a bar can make him seem hostile.
Create a safe environment
Only if children feel safe do they have a desire to interact and explore the world. Forcing someone to look into the eyes when he is scared and uncomfortable, we do not help the person feel safe, thus not allowing him to expand the zone of interaction and contacts with other people.
Make faces not embarrassing
Help your children learn to understand facial expressions by showing pictures in books, using flashcards and playing matching games.
Help find other ways
We can receive and send non-verbal signals to the interlocutor not only by looking into his eyes. Focusing on the speaker's lips is a good way to show interest and improve rapport without the stress that staring can bring. In addition, sunglasses can become a kind of safety zone that facilitates eye contact.
Practice
Provide easier-to-implement ways to build eye contact. If the interlocutor is comfortable looking at the face when you look away, slowly return the look: a little closer each time. Even simply watching faces on a TV screen can be of great benefit, especially news anchors who are looking directly at the camera. Provide some kind of buffer zone, allowing you to keep a physical and emotional distance: for example, during a dialogue devoted simply to the exchange of information, let's not build emotional contact, but just be in the same room.
Set realistic goals
Keeping eye contact should never be an end in itself. Don't require someone to keep in touch in a stressful situation: eye contact is not the only way to establish contact. This skill requires an understanding of social norms and rules, which can be difficult to explain. To achieve success, break this big task into many small ones, and start practicing.

Summary

If you force the interlocutor to look into your eyes during a conversation in a situation where he is not pleased, this will only complicate your communication. If the interlocutor looks away - this is a signal that it is difficult or unpleasant for him to look in the face. And if you want to help, the best thing you can do is recognize and respect the other person's right not to look you in the eye.

culture

Probably everyone remembers the children's game, the main meaning of which was who would "revise" whom. The essence of the game is simple - two people sit opposite each other and start looking into each other's eyes for as long as possible while maintaining a straight face. Usually, in such a situation, it is quite difficult to maintain complete equanimity, which is why such a competition ended in nervous laughter and an attempt by one of the participants to quickly look away. And even now, as an adult, your reaction will not be much different from a child's reaction. Don't believe? One has only to try, and you cannot deny that there is something otherworldly in the piercing gaze of unblinking eyes that stare directly into your eyes. The look of these absolutely round pupils seems to penetrate into the very depths of your soul, and reads all your deepest thoughts and desires creating a feeling of extreme vulnerability and insecurity. On the other hand, even a casual glance of a loved one can fill you with real happiness, while prolonged eye contact with a stranger causes a strange feeling of discomfort. So how, in fact, is the gaze of human eyes able to have such a strong influence, causing such ambiguous emotions?

Looking at your favorite eyes stimulates the production of oxytocin.

As the old saying says, "Eyes are the mirror of the soul". Indeed, we may try to smile affably, or, on the contrary, show feigned displeasure, while our eyes will categorically refuse to obey these simulated feelings. A genuine smile causes the appearance of wrinkles at the corners of the eyes, while a person who is angry with something narrows his eyes somewhat, according to experts in gestures and facial expressions, that is, according to the so-called body language. You can get a lot of additional information looking into your interlocutor's eyes, which, according to experts, is a completely natural human reaction, which many lose with age, while for others it turns into a habit. Have you paid attention to small children who are always trying to catch the eye of an adult to see the reaction to their act or behavior? In 2002 American psychologists conducted an interesting study, as a result of which it turned out that newborn children observe, rather, the gaze of adults, rather than head movements. Eye contact also makes the memory of such babies work better. At one time, American researchers from Massachusetts Institute of Technology recorded the fact that four-month-old babies quickly recognized the parents approaching their crib thanks to eye contact.

Over time, we learn to discern the difference between a look that makes our heart flutter with love and another look that which causes rejection, irritation and even fear. It is believed that the so-called love hormone, which is released intensively with a simple hug, plays an important role in this process - oxytocin. This feel-good hormone is released not only when we hug someone, demonstrating physical intimacy, but also with a feeling of emotional closeness. Even a simple touch on the hand of a loved one or a declaration of love contributes to this process. Some scientists believe that even a glance can lead to an increase in the level of this chemical mood stimulant. As a recent study by psychologists shows, Oxytocin is the reason why people in love tend to look into each other's eyes for so long. That's why simple eye contact is so important for two loving hearts who want to feel emotional closeness with each other again and again and remember their best days and hours spent together. Who knows, maybe that's why we are so uncomfortable with the gaze of an outsider with whom you have no emotional connection.

A simple glance can stimulate complex behaviors.

Agree: even if we do not attach great importance to the habit of our interlocutor to look directly into the eyes when talking, this manner causes more positive emotions than negative feelings. Scottish explorers from Aberdeen University (University of Aberdeen) conducted a small study in which volunteers had to carefully examine the images of the faces of various people. Each of these people was depicted twice. These pictures were completely identical, except for the eyes of the people: in some images, people looked somewhere to the side, while in others, the same people looked directly into the camera lens, which created a feeling of direct eye contact among the participants in the experiment. Surprisingly, but the conclusions of the volunteers were unequivocal: and no matter how beautiful or repulsive the faces of the people depicted in these photographs were. The participants in the experiment found the faces of those people who were more attractive and even pleasant. looking straight into the camera lens. According to scientists, the so-called pleasure center of our brain - the part of the brain that is responsible for the formation of the sensation of pleasure - is activated precisely when we make eye contact with another person (naturally, if a person looks at us with a benevolent look). This means that we are pleased to look not only at attractive people, but also at those who give us a pleasant look.

A person's gaze, expressing certain emotions, has an effect on the emotions of another person, causing certain behavioral responses. American researchers from Tufts University conducted an interesting experiment, filming everything that happens with a hidden camera. As part of this experiment, scientists observed the reaction of people who fell into the following situation: an unsuspecting person entered a telephone booth to call and found there a coin forgotten by someone, equivalent to the cost of a call. At that moment, another person approached the booth, who turned to the caller with a request to return the coin, which he allegedly just left there. As a rule, the caller gave the moment without any problems, when the figurehead looked straight into the eyes, asking to return the "forgotten" money. A subsequent survey revealed the fact that people believed more precisely those who looked them in the eye, demanding the return of the coin.

Another study has revealed the fact that the gaze of the leader of a group of people, directed into the eyes of one of the members of this group, makes him take a more active part in any process. Doctor Roel Vertegaal, investigating the influence of direct eye contact on human behavior, noted the following point: if someone conducts an interview with a group of people, more often looking into the eyes of the same person, then such a listener begins to take an active part in the conversation. Moreover, his activity is the higher, the more often the "leader" looks into his eyes. In addition, as it turned out as a result of a joint study conducted by British specialists from University of Wolverhampton and their Scottish counterparts from Stirling University (University of Stirling), direct eye contact can spur the attention of the interlocutor. Scientists managed to prove that a person, in this case, better remembers what the speaker or lecturer says. Also, listeners are able to reproduce the speech of a person who, at the time of its pronunciation, was looking directly into the camera 30 percent more accurately.

However, psychologists from the University of Stirling noted another important point: the way to attract a person’s attention to certain details gives an absolutely opposite result, when it comes to answering questions(for example, in an exam). The researchers tested their version on children who were asked to answer a series of questions in the form of a test. As it turned out, when the interviewing adult looked the child directly in the eyes (this was about fifty percent of the questions), children began to get confused in the answers, stray and, in general, did not do a very good job. As soon as the children were allowed to look away, the correctness of their answers to the questions asked increased significantly. Scientists explain this interesting fact by the fact that direct eye contact requires considerable mental activity. That is why it is extremely difficult for someone to think about anything else, except for the eyes staring at him. Indirectly, this rule is also confirmed by lovers: you must admit, sometimes the need to continue the dialogue simply disappears under the gaze of a loved one - thoughts begin to get confused, and the thread of the conversation is suddenly lost. And that is why most of us find it very difficult to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, solving some difficult problems.

"Don't look at me point-blank, I won't be afraid of your eyes!"

So, a direct gaze, directed directly into our eyes, can awaken in us a feeling of love, or humiliate us. He is able to increase our degree of trust in a person, or even make his face more attractive in our eyes. A closer look can boost our memory, or, on the contrary, make us forget what, it would seem, we know very well. Just imagine how many people we have to face every day - salespeople, colleagues, casual acquaintances, and so on and so forth! If all these random glances evoked in us all the storm of emotions and behavioral reactions that were mentioned above, we would hardly be able to go about our daily business! Fortunately, on a subconscious level, we react differently to the views of strangers, and those with whom we have any kind of relationship. In addition, in order to resolve our issues with the seller in the supermarket, we do not need to enter into prolonged eye contact. In other words, we constantly analyze how this or that person looks at us, but we rarely make "close" (prolonged) eye contact with most people. This is probably right, since we leave the most penetrating and attentive look, capable of penetrating into the innermost part of the soul, for those who are dear to us the most.