The ceremony of the blessing of parents at the wedding. What if parents do not like the choice of the groom or the bride of their Chad? Where to get icons for blessing newlyweds

Vika Di

After the young man made a suggestion of his beloved and received a cherished "yes" in response, it is necessary to report on the emerging wedding to parents and to acquaint them with each other. If your relatives already know each other, the task of the bride and the bride is facilitated by the fact that they do not need to acquaint them, you can simply get together and discuss urgen questions And the details of the upcoming event. But in the case when parents from the parties of the bride and the bride are not yet familiar with each other, they will need to introduce them.

Of course, first follows submit your chosen one or choices His mother and dad. After that, you can appoint a meeting between parental couples. How to get acquainted with the parents of the groom with the parents of the bride before the wedding by tradition? According to traditions, the initiative must come from Rodney Groom. Groom's parents go to get acquainted to the parents of the bride, and the relatives of the girl should give them a symbolic gift. After that, parents from the bride can apply a retaliatory visit. However, traditions extend themselves, young people can arrange a meeting.

Acquaintance parents of the bride and groom at home

Meeting point

When and how is the first acquaintance of the parents of the groom with the parents of the bride? To begin with, you should choose a meeting place. It may be cozy restaurant or family cafe. If future spouses already live together in their apartment, it is appropriate to invite parents to their home for lunch or dinner. This will demonstrate the bride's native groom like hostess at home. Family dinner Create an informal setting for dating.

When choosing a place to take into account the age and social status of the parent pair. Simple people should not be invited to fashionable, expensive restaurants, where they will most likely be uncomfortable

Gardeners and gardeners can be called on a picnic or cottage. Domes will suit the modest evening at home in young, if there is such an opportunity.

The meeting can be organized specifically for dating or coincide with the family holiday. In the latter case, more chances are that the acquaintance will be informally, in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Menu

An important role is played by the menu. If the meeting is appointed in a restaurant or at home, then the menu must be thought out in advance. Asian cuisine with its overly sharp, oversaturated seasoning dishes - not the best choice for the first meeting. Sustain to stay on traditional European or Russian cuisine. It should also be pre-figure out whether anyone from invited food allergies does not have the post or adhere to vegetarianism.

Alcohol on the table is permissible only when among those present no jar opponents alcohol.

Menu when meeting parents of the bride and groom

What to talk about the first meeting

How to behave at the acquaintance and what to talk about at the meeting?

So that parents are more comfortable, it is better to come up with a list of topics for conversation. If an awkward pause arises, then you can suggest a general topic, for example, the acquaintance of young or children's years. It should be remembered that not all themes are good for conversation. Policy, like other topics that can cause a hot dispute, it is better to bypass the side.

On the eve of the meeting, it is better to discuss with my mother and dad all the awkward moments that may arise: questions that are better not to ask or stories that better not tell. Generally, prepare morally acquaintance With future relatives.

Get acquainted with the matchmakers, better without affecting the topic of the upcoming wedding. All planning issues can be postponed for a follow-up meeting or leave to decide which wedding will be, young

The main rule when you meet - to relax. Even if the relationship between relatives does not add up, it does not interfere with the newlyweds to be happy in marriage. Familiarity with the matchs does not oblige to friendship or any close communication in the future, after the wedding. Furnishing communication on the general holidays will be quite enough.

Gifts parents for acquaintance

What do you give the tradition of the matchmaker? Women usually hand bouquets flowers, one for the bride, the other for future mother-in-law. It is better not to give too expensive or pompous gifts on the eve of the wedding: it can perceive like bribery or boasting.

It will be a good tone to prevent symbolic gifts from newlyweds to parents. It can be a box of candy or cookies, or something related to a hobby, for example, a set of bait for a fisherman or seeds for a gardener. If the father of the groom or the bride is a fan of strong alcohol or expensive cigars, then you can present a gift flask with cognac with a box of Cuban cigars.

Cuban cigars as a gift when meeting parents of the bride and groom

Mama besides colors you can give something for needlework Or decorative cosmetics, such as hands or liquid soap.

Traditions of walling

Previously, a young man, having received a blessing of his father, sent a matchmaker to the house of the alleged bride. Shatta came with carabically And salt, the parents of the girl in the case of a positive response should have taken a loaf, in the event of a refusal of bread returned. Sometimes there was a watermelon or pumpkin in the failure.

Capaway with salt for dating parents

People from noble and rich families with good emphasis should have been don't hurrySo the matchmaker came to them several times. After the final consent, the preparations for the wedding began, the girl was gathered, the feast was preparing, they were invited to guests and so on.

A topical question for many couples - how to introduce parents of the bride and groom? No need to fear meet His relatives, postponing everything on a wedding day. In the end, this is the father and mother of a loved one, the second half and in the acquaintance of them with her mother and dad there is nothing terrible.

the main thing think over all the details and nuances, given the nature and preferences of both sides. It is not scary if the elders do not work closely and be friends after the wedding of young. At the end of the ends, they are adults and have the right to decide whether to maintain a connection with the newly acquired relatives. But to present them to each other is not less important because these are the most important people in life for each of the newlyweds.

April 23, 2018, 16:10

Good afternoon, our dear visitors!

TOak be parents in such cases, if they are confident that their son or daughter comes into a bad marriage, which will be unhappy? Do they need to interfere with the relationship of young? In the old days, as you know, the parents themselves choose the grooms and brides with their sons and daughters. Is it possible in our time?

Replies Archpriest Maxim Kozlov:

« Pactual, not very hurrying with your confidence, because you need to ask yourself ten times: what is it based on? Most often, it is explained by the incompatibility of our preferences and our own plans about how there should be a satellite of life from our Chad, with the real person who entered his life. And in itself, this inconsistency does not give us the right to be confident that nothing good of this marriage will come. We wanted a daughter intelligent and educated, and she married a locksmith. But after all, it is not a fact that it will certainly be worse. We wanted our son to a clean girl, and he rushed with a heart to a lone mother with a child, who also older him and who is not different as a greedy predator: she doesn't get married for whom not to stay alone!

I must say this is a typical maternal reaction. There are a huge set and other circumstances, in which we do not have the right to such absolute confidence that young marriage will not work out. However, even if there are the most objective, after all the internal demanding checks, the reasons to assume that the good one will not come here, then you need to remind one more thing: very often God creates miracles contrary to all human packages and conditioning. "... when a sin multiplied, began to preize grace ..." (Rome. 5, 20), "says the apostle Paul, and something very important in our faith is that the fact that a person is not connected in any determinism. Nothing is defined in advance, and it is not at all necessary that it is in this situation that everything will certainly be to evil, to sin and killed. And this, too, a believer man should not forget.

Previously, when the virtue was considered obedience and reverence of parents, then the parental approach in this matter could be more direct and frankly: here's the bride, and please define with your attitude towards it! Now, of course, you can only easily create some kind of communication situations in which this thread of sympathies, mutual acceptance could arise. But God forbid to do this too frontal method. If you do not count on your clock, it is better to avoid any actions than trying to impose someone even at the level of the Council, pushing a successful candidate in all senses. Parental obsession can cause the worst consequences for beginning relations than the departure aside with the prayer to the Lord, so that he would send the greed of a good satellite or companion.

Impressions of lovers couples and advice of a psychologist about how it is right and without losses to arrange a date for loved ones

After the wedding, the couple in love acquires the status of a young family. However, after official recognition of himself with her husband and wife, the whole family of the second half officially becomes relatives. And the responsibilities of lovers enters not only to get acquainted with the newly minted relatives, but also to present it to each other.

Where to organize a meeting?

Option 1: Neutral territory

Benefits: Nobody from a single family will have to spend time at the stove to hit guests with culinary delights. Also, no one will look around on the sides, assessing the repair and decoration of the apartment.

Among the shortcomings: We need to carefully prepare for a meeting. Do not choose a place where no one has previously been. This is fraught with a negative impression of a restaurant or cafe personnel or, in the worst case, poisoning. In addition, the budget should be taken into account. Otherwise, barely acquainted, relatives risk becoming each other's debtors.

When I acquainted my mother with a young man, I decided to choose our favorite cafe with him. True, it turned out that after the meeting it stopped being loved. First, my mother wrapped my favorite dish is now a husband, and secondly, a very noisy company came across the neighboring table. Because of this, we practically did not hear a friend. At first they tried to shout out the noise, and when they realized that it would no avail, the conversation was stopped at all, - said the Annunciation Tatyana.

Option 2: Invite guests

Pros: Acquaintance in the home setting will allow moms to boast the "best in the world in the world" of their own preparation. In addition, the acquaintance of the house will give the opportunity to demonstrate high degrees of hospitality. Also, being an inviting party, in its territory, the bride and groom will feel more comfortable and, in which case, can discharge the situation.

Minuses: A conflict may arise - who should invite? Previously, all the traditions were solved - the parents of the groom came to wrap, and as a dowry from Rodni, they got a chest with gold.

Acquaintance at home will give the opportunity to demonstrate high degrees of hospitality

Photo: Depositphotos.com

In addition, the acquaintance can be overshadowed about the care of guests and rings in the kitchen. The hospitable hostess can skip most of the evening, checking whether the next dish is ready. As a result, the owners of the house will be set and wanted to remain finally alone.

My husband's parents from free, we invited them to visit my grandmother. Interestingly, we have acquainted relatives before the wedding itself, so, to be honest, it was just a tribute to tradition. We would get married in any case, no matter how acquaintance would be. It just turned out so that my grandmother and mother's husband were soloing. The rest of the time spent looking into the plates, - shared Alice.

Commentary of the psychologist

With the acquaintance, the main thing is not to depict too much and behave naturally. No need to hide anything, speak only the truth and do not deceive others. And you should not worry, in the end, you are not familiar with unauthorized people, but with your parents of your second half. For a place of dating, it is probably suitable for a neutral territory. One of the most successful options is a random meeting. She will save from excess official, as well as from long-term preparation for acquaintance, - Psychologist believes Nadezhda Korsikov.

We did not plan the official acquaintance of parents at all. On the day of the meeting, my mom and dad gathered on kebabs and invited mom's mom's mom. I am glad that everything turned out spontaneously, but without curiosities and inconvenience. At first, my boyfriend's mom shy a little shy and, honestly, has passed since the meeting for a year, and that's just recently she stopped embarrassing. Now parents themselves are calling out, and we have a division, now we are one big family, - told Victoria.

If future newlyweds decided to organize a traditional official meeting, and not to rely on the will of the case, then you need to consider several recommendations.

1. Less nostalgia

Before the first acquaintance it is worth checking out whether a lovely mother of children's photo albums did not take, where the future groom or the bride is presented in all its glory. For example, at 6 years old, smeared by semolina or on graduation after liter brandy. If your moms want to give time to memories, then it is better to allow them to take a couple of the most favorite photos and dear hearts of children's crafts.

2. Dialogues about ...

If it happened that Pope is an ardent supporter of a healthy lifestyle and not a fan of sports, and the father of the bride is a fan of beer and football, then it is worth limiting the number of replicas about where the Russian footballers are growing. But if moms from both families are interested in mexican series, then you can make a topic about popular TV shows. The main thing is to avoid sharp corners in conversations. Allowed that there is better communism or democracy, parents still have time.

3. Calm, only calm

"From a smile will become all light," says in a famous children's song, and that's right. If a young couple is happy and sincerely smiles at a meeting with future relatives, then the parents of sin are configured against each other.

Wedding is a holiday for two young people who decided to connect their destinies. At different times and in different countries, this celebration passed and passes with its peculiarities, depending on traditions and rites that are present in society. In our country, a special place at the wedding belongs to the parents of the bridegroom, because they meet the newlyweds after the marriage ceremony. But how to meet young parents of the groom, each family determines independently, relying on his life experience and existing traditions.

Where and when parents of the groom should meet newlyweds?

In those days, when such institutions did not exist as the registry office, the wedding rite was carried out in the church. And after the wedding, the parents of the groom met the newlyweds in their home, because it was accepted that a young family would live in her husband's house.

Today, the newlyweds after the registry office became more common. This is due to the fact that not all young couples are wary, and sometimes transfer the wedding ceremony in the church the next day. Meet the newlyweds are still parents of the groom, more precisely, the main role in carrying out the mother-in-law belongs.

Another change that has introduced modernity to ancient custom is that now parents meet newlyweds at the entrance is not in the house of the groom, but to a restaurant or any other institution where such an important event is celebrated. After all, before the wedding always walked at home, and now more often prefers are given to restaurants, so riding home only in order not to disturb the ancient custom, not quite reasonable.

What are the traditions of the meeting of newlyweds parents of the groom?

The only opinion on how to meet young parents of the bridegroom does not exist, so everyone chooses that option that more like both
families and their close relatives. The main objective of this event is to bring in the future life of newlyweds well-being.

One of the most common customs is the meeting of the bride and groom with bread-salt. Some parents prefer to meet their children with glasses filled with wine. There are also such people who believe that the main attribute of the wedding is a wedding loaf, and it is to keep his groom's mother in his hands at a meeting of newlyweds. Believers, parents prefer to meet young with icons.

An integral part of a wedding event called "Meeting of the Young" is the sprinkling of the bride and groom by grain, candy, petals of roses or confetti. Puts this rite mother-in-law, sometimes guests joined it.

What needs to prepare parents to meet newlyweds?

The parents of the groom are important to think in advance what kind of rites will conduct, meeting the Son and daughter-in-law, and prepare all the attributes for this. And it is better to do this in advance so that in the most responsible moment it turns out that something is missing at hand.

So, first of all, think about what words you will meet your children. And if you are afraid to forget your speech, write it on a piece. For rites, you will need icons, bread-salt or loaf, two tumors - one under bread, and the other - under the legs of the young, two new glasses, champagne, as well as grain, candy or rose petals that you will sprinkle newlyweds at the entrance to the restaurant .

How to behave newlyweds during their meeting parents of the groom

Newlyweds, approaching the house of the groom or to the entrance to the restaurant, where they are met by their parents, and stepping on the rushnik sacked for them, the first time should bow to parents and crightened (in the event of a meeting of their icon).

Further, if they are encountered asking or bread-salt, break down a piece from it and give to taste each other. At this stage, you can determine who will be the chapter in a new family - it depends on the one who fastened a piece of bread or punitive. If the spouses managed to do this at the same time, then you can be sure that there will be harmony and order in their house.

After parents serve newlywed glasses filled with champagne, they should mark them three times with the godfall, which will protect them from possible trouble. Next, the bride and the bride should start on a slightly champagne from the glasses, and the rest to pour over the back, after which break glasses. After the ceremony of the meeting, young people can safely go to the hall to continue the holiday.

The words of the mother-in-law at the meeting of young

According to the ancient traditions, the first words of congratulations of newlyweds with the creation of them of a new family are pronounced by Mother Groom. What will be the first words of mother-in-law at the wedding depends on its desire. Someone prefers to teach poems for this purpose, someone is preparing in prose, and someone says those words that came to mind at the time of the meeting of the newlyweds, without preparing in advance.

How to do, solve you! However, it is worth noting that what exactly you will talk when meeting the bride and groom, it is better to think in advance in advance, in order not to be in front of young and guests in an inconvenient position. Of course, the poems to learn, firstly, not all under power, and secondly, due to excitement, you can easily forget the rhymed lines. Therefore, it is best to prepare small in prose.

Words of mother-in-law at the wedding can be, for example, as follows: "Our dear children! I want to congratulate you out with the conclusion of marriage and wish that the union you create is strong and filled with happiness. Stay as beautiful and happy as today, for many years of your family life! ". After the first words, the rite of the meeting of young people will undergo depending on the traditions chosen by their parents and newlyweds.

Blessing young icons

All parents dream about the marriage of their children to be strong and long, so the most exciting point in holding a wedding is a blessing. Believers for holding this rite use icons.

In addition, her at home is the oldest icon before conveying to the future husband, and the groom's mother blesses the son before going out of the house, a young meeting is also held with the icon or two (depending on the traditions in a particular settlement) at the entrance to the restaurant.

In most cases, young people at the entrance to the restaurant meet the parents of the groom with two icons - the mother-in-law holds the icon of the Mother of God, and the beetor is Jesus Christ.

Where to get icons for blessing newlyweds?

Where exactly take icons for blessings, decide in each family. You can use those with whom the parents of the groom or the oldest, for example, were getting from Mom, and she from her mother or grandmother.

In addition, you can buy new icons, fortunately, even special sets of them are sold, intended for the blessing of newlyweds during a wedding. After the rite, the icons put next to carabically, and
the completion of the wedding newlyweds make them in their home as an overlap.

Meeting of newlyweds bread-salt

Many modern people do not know how to meet young parents of the groom with bread-salt, despite the fact that this rite is quite ancient. After all, he goes to his roots in those days when newlyweds lived in her husband's house. Bread-salt mother-in-law welcomed the daughter-in-law as a new tenant.

Nowadays, this custom has no practical importance, since most of the newlyweds after the wedding settle down separately from their parents, but nevertheless, many people like it, and they have a complete right to exactly such a meeting of their sons and daughter-in-law. "We meet young bread-salt ...", - words that Mom says the groom at the entrance to the house or any institution where the wedding will be celebrated.

It is important not to forget that the bread is put on an embroidered towel, and the salt is on the bread. In no case, Solonka should not be near the bread, as it symbolizes poverty. Well, of course, it is necessary to ensure that the salt does not crumble, as it promuls the quarrel in a young family.

Meeting of newlyweds with carabically and wine glasses

In some settlements, there is a custom to meet newlyweds with carabically and filled with champagne glasses. However, until the time of this ritual comes, few people think about how to meet young parents of the groom with carabically and champagne.

So, for this it is necessary to prepare a silver tray, new glasses, champagne, two wedding trees and a loaf. The mother of the groom welcomes young carabically, which must be lying on the tower. And the father at this time holds a tray with glasses and champagne, symbolizing the sweetness of a married life.

Before parents, the second trench is steel, to which the newlyweds step up, approaching their parents. Pushnik under the legs with a young stele to ensure that their path is as beautiful, festive, light and clean. Meeting of newlyweds with carabically promise them rich and happy future.

Sweeping young parents of the groom

After marriage, meetings and blessings, the groom's mother can also hold a rite of sprinkle. Our ancestors for this purpose used a mixture of young grain (rice, millet, oats), coins and candies. Such "rain" symbolized wealth, wealth and sweet life.

Today it is not less likely to see how the groom's mother meets young and sprinkles their rose petals. They symbolize the beauty and eternal love, which, of course, dream all newlyweds. Even more modern parents are used to shower the bride and groom confetti. This method is no less beautiful, but invest in this rite the same wishes of happiness and good.

Whatever way you do not choose, it is important not to forget about the practical side of this rite. So, it should be borne in mind that in the case of squeezing with grain, sweets and coins, it is better to pour them down under the feet, otherwise the joy of this custom can eclipse the getting of grain into the eyes or spoiled adherent bride.

Now you know how young parents meet in different settlements and families. It remains only to choose the most suitable rites for you. However, no matter how you prefer, the main thing is that they are spent from the whole of the soul and liked your children. And then the wedding will be cheerful and unforgettable!

The blessing of the parents for the wedding is an important rite, symbolizing the beginning of family life. Beautiful, exciting and touching, it denotes the transfer of a particle of family happiness and well-being from the older generation to the younger. Together with approval from parents, newlyweds receive intercession before God.

Blessing in Russia

In the old days, no blessing of the parents did not hold the rite of wedding in the church. Newlyweds, who have not passed this peculiar cleansing of the soul, were deprived of inheritance, the favor of the surrounding and the rest of the rest of the lives were the burden of guilt for what happened.

The origins of the blessing of Russia are in the unlawful law: any important event was preceded by a blessing for him. And only after approval by enhancing the support of God and all the saints, it was possible to count on success. In the Christian rules, the answer to a request for a blessing sounds no other than: "God bless."

Traditionally, the wedding was held in Russia in the house of the bride. Newlyweds asked for a wedding blessing for all those present. First of all, the parents, then with the godfather, and after - friends and acquaintances. During the wedding ceremony, the Lord, the Virgin and Saints asked for a blessing for a long life, health, well-being, asked to support in a difficult moment, to protect against trouble.

Blessing parents nowadays

Today, the blessing rite is not mandatory, but most couples steadily comply with this tradition, which came to us from the depths of centuries. When carrying out a blessing, all participants should be morally ready for this sacrament and agree on it. The rite assumes that all participants are baptized. Otherwise, it is necessary to pre-under the rite of baptism, and only after that give either accepting instructions.
If the groom or the bride has no parents, they can replace the elder brother, sister or godf. In the absence of loved ones, the newlyweds may ask someone from friends or acquaintances, respected people, submit them at the wedding.

How to hold a rite of blessing

The very first words of blessings sound in the house of the bride, after the end of the redemption, when the groom had already overcome all the obstacles and got to his beloved. For the rite of wedding, it is necessary to buy two icons: Christ the Savior - for the groom and the Mother of God - for the bride. In addition, they will need two towers (one - the parents of the groom, the other - the parents of the bride). The towers are needed in order to cover the icons, as the icons are not taken with bare hands.

With the blessing of the bride and groom, they kneel, and parents describe the cross on their heads three times, pronouncing part-time speeches. What exactly to say is the choice of parents. Blessing can be both in prose and in verse. It is important that the words go from the pure hearts were filled with sincerity and love for children.

The traditional speech of parents sounds as follows: "Dear children! Advice to you yes love! We bless you to a strong marriage, a friendly family. Let love lives in your house, peace and well-being, children laugh. Live in love and harmony, peace and friendship, to yourself for happiness surrounding joy. Bare your feeling throughout life, be healthy and prosperous. Take care of each other, bring the joy and warmth of today! ". Main words: "Council and Love", "bless", "love", "happiness", "well-being".

Make a rite of blessing in the presence of guests or to hold a sacrament in a family circle - to decide the bridegroom with the bride. Both options are allowed. The icons that their parents blessed newlyweds are put on a festive table next to carabic, and then go to the house where newlyweds have to live. These icons become a family relic, and the newlyweds will transfer them to their children.

After the blessing of the parents of the groom with the bride go out of the house - step in a new, collaborative life, and guests, meeting them behind the threshold, sprinkle wheat grain, candy and coins.

The second blessing of the newlyweds get to the entrance to the groom's house after wedding or painting, or before entering the banquet hall. Newlyweds are becoming a raped carpet path - "a welfare carpet." Groom's mother holds bread-salt, and father - icon. The parents of the groom blesses young parting words.