The boy offered to meet how to refuse. What to do when a guy refuses a girl and vice versa. Tactful denial
Quite often, girls have to say “no” to their fans. But how beautiful it is to refuse a guy so as not to offend him, very few people know. Almost everyone can say the word “no”, but to choose the tone and expressions in such a way that it immediately becomes clear that this is really a refusal, and not one of the options for the game, you definitely need to learn from everyone so as not to provoke ambiguous situations or even direct aggression. If a girl does not know how to properly refuse a guy or is afraid to do it for some reason, but does not want to date, then she may be considered mean, cunning, seeking profit in manipulating guys. Thus, pushing away not only young people, but also their own girlfriends.
Or at the other extreme, if the guys see that the girl does not dare to refuse anyone, she may look in their eyes either weak-willed or easily accessible, but in both cases, she is guaranteed troubles and all sorts of ambiguous situations in relations with the opposite sex. And if a girl knows how to refuse a guy beautifully, then on the contrary, she can grow up in the eyes of an outcast applicant and everyone around her. After all, every girl is obliged to strive for the respect of others and for the assertion of the authority of her own personality in the eyes of others.
If a girl is sure that she will never be with this particular guy, then motivating the refusal with a lack of time or total employment is stupid, because he will hope that someday she will find a minute for him in her busy schedule. And, seeing that this girl does not have time for him, but she has time for someone else, she will consider her quite justifiably a liar and, of course, will complain about this to her friends, those to hers. And the image of a liar will be fixed for this girl, if not for life, then for a very long time.
If the girl still doubts before refusing the guy, then it would be best to offer him friendship, then hope and try to please, and have the time and opportunity to take a closer look at the potential chosen one better. And if, nevertheless, the girl completely excludes even the very possibility of developing relations with this young man, then it is better for him to tell him about it immediately and honestly, but there should be regret in his voice - this will preserve or even increase his self-esteem. Before refusing a guy, let him read poems about love and separation to him, or praise him, describe his virtues to him, and then say that he is very, they say, sorry, but you can’t order your heart. The main thing is that before you refuse the guy, calm down and say with confidence in your voice what you have decided, but you yourself must believe in what you say. If the words are sincere, then they will be correctly perceived by everyone.
Older ladies also quite often have similar situations. For example, after a friendly dinner, or classmates, or a chance meeting of old acquaintances, in the vast majority of cases there is a proposal to continue communication in a more intimate setting. It is better for married women not to attend such events at all, so as not to endanger the family for the sake of momentary weakness or because of an extra glass of alcohol, because it is not for nothing that people say that a drunk woman is a strange woman.
But what should an unmarried free woman do if the man offering intimacy is undesirable for one reason or another?
Firstly, do not worry, because in women who are prone to excessive excitement, compassionate and indecisive, the offer of intimacy causes a whole wave of emotions - and they do not dare to refuse, so as not to offend, and do not want to agree, explaining something inconsistently, confuses the situation . A man may consider these slurred explanations a sign of coquetry or a manifestation of deliberate modesty, they say, "I'm not like that." Such women should know that for an adequate man, rejection is not the end of the world, and it is at least stupid to cherish relationships with inadequate ones. For adventurous natures, playing on other people's nerves is just another fun adventure. This one can agree, even knowing in advance that she will not fulfill the promise, but will look for an opportunity, tickling the nerves of both herself and the man, to escape. It should be remembered that such women are more likely than others to get into the crime news bulletins as victims of rape and beatings. Therefore, this behavior should be avoided.
Hello dear girls! We all sometimes find ourselves in situations where we have to say “no” to a person. The right words do not always come in time, and most often the refusal looks rude or unreasonable. Of course, it is impossible to prepare for any situation, but today I would like to talk with you about how to refuse a man with dignity. After all, by your refusal, you can not only lower his self-esteem, but also forever discourage the desire to approach girls.
Cause - effect
To begin with, I propose to think about why you refuse. Quite often, I became a witness to situations when a girl says “no” with words, but shows “yes” with her whole appearance. Therefore, you must clearly understand why you want to reject this or that offer of a man, whether it is an invitation for a date or a conversation about intimacy.
I do not recommend you to play "impregnability". Girls think that the more you refuse a man, the more he will strive. If you say no for these reasons, then be extremely careful in your expressions.
First, not all guys take hints. Secondly, you may be considered frivolous or too flighty, because today you are not, but tomorrow you are. Especially do not get carried away with such tactics, being in a long relationship.
One of my acquaintances tried to meet in a proposal, but all the time she was looking for an opportunity to see him and shoot with her eyes. She just wanted to play a game of flirting with him. But the man did not understand why she refused him, and she herself constantly sends non-verbal signals.
If you decide to reject a man’s offer, then do it clearly, distinctly and accessible. Do not hesitate, do not fawn, and do not try to justify your refusal. But how to do it competently and beautifully, so as not to offend a man, we will now find out.
The right tactic
How do girls usually act? They just send them to hell, sometimes even rudely and uncivilized. If you do not want to seem tactless, then your refusal must necessarily contain a compliment to a man, not just his appearance, but masculine qualities.
If you don't know how to compliment guys, it's okay. Read the article "t" and you can always find the right words in any situation.
So, your refusal should consist of a compliment, a short explanation of your negative answer, and a supportive phrase. Let's take a look at an example.
For example, a guy came up to you on the street and offers to meet you.
- The first option is to simply ignore him or say “I don’t see the point in communicating, goodbye.”
- The second option: “You must be very brave, since you are not afraid to approach girls on the street. Sorry, but I already have a young man, but I am sure that such a brave and self-confident man will definitely succeed in finding a worthy girl.
Agree, the second option looks much more polite, tactful and correct. The guy realized that you were not ready to communicate with him, but he did not have self-doubt, he would not think that something was wrong with him.
So in sex, you also need to be able to refuse correctly so that there are no further problems. If you have a stranger in front of you, then the answer will be approximately the same as above: you are so straightforward and frank, but I only do this with my loved one, I have no doubt that such a confident man will be able to find what he is looking for.
Common Mistakes
Coarseness. This is the most common mistake girls make. Under no circumstances should you be rude, call names or get personal. No matter how hard it is for you to communicate with a person, even if he does not understand your refusals at all and continues to bother with his attention, never allow yourself to switch to insults.
Most likely, this is your first and last meeting, why make a scandal out of it? Try to remain polite and cultured in every situation. Remember that you can always resort to the help of humor. This is especially important when dealing with a loved one.
Blurring of the phrase. Sometimes it is difficult for girls to immediately and directly refuse a handsome guy, for example. Therefore, the girl does not say “no” directly, but beats around the bush. You need to be direct, specific and to the point. What do you want to say to a man: let's stay friends; I need a break now; we need to break up.
Try to speak directly. So, one of my girlfriends could not directly refuse a guy money. She could not say a clear “no”, so she kept coming up with some phrases.
Divergence of behavior and words. I spoke about this above. When a girl says "no", but with all her appearance continues to show interest in a man. Read the article "". Of course, there we are talking more about married women who have decided to get distracted on the side, but for sure you will find many useful thoughts for yourself.
What does your rejection phrase usually look like? Have you ever heard a rejection?
I wish you patience and self-control in any situation.
All the best!
Try to explain that he's not your type. Do it correctly and carefully so as not to humiliate him and not reduce the level of self-esteem. Promise that you will remain best friends if that is what he wants.
How to politely and beautifully refuse a guy if he wants to date ... and so that he is not offended?
Introduce him to your girlfriend or good friend who does not have a boyfriend. There is hope that the acquaintance will be successful, and they will like each other. And then everything will grow into beautiful love and into a strong marriage. He will understand that you politely and delicately refused him.
Make it clear that your heart is occupied by another person. Talk about him as a groom and a future husband.
Write him a message or a letter. The second option can be either electronic or ordinary (paper).
Ignore it in a variety of ways. Then the poor lover won't have to say anything.
How to turn down a guy on a date?
Refer to permanent employment or "busy". Everything must be true! Your fan must believe you. Otherwise, he will begin to be skeptical of all representatives of the opposite sex.
Say you're not in the mood, that you want to stay at home. Will be asking for a visit - please, that you are currently feeling unwell. Promise that you will call if you feel at least a little better.
Imagine that you need to look after your niece or nephew. Believe it! And he believes too.
Say a phrase that will put everything in its place: “Sorry, I won’t go anywhere, because I have absolutely nothing to wear!”.
A guy invited you to a party (for his birthday) but you don't want to go? He will have to refuse, so that he does not hope for anything.
Feel free to talk about natural! Tell him that you are suffering from diarrhea. He will offer you to take medicine for this ailment, but you keep refusing to go to him. He will understand and take pity on you.
Admit that you have no money in your wallet right now. He will persuade you to come without a gift. You say in response that you never want to go to such events empty-handed.
Tell the future birthday boy you're leaving for a week. It will not help - say that you are planning a business trip that you are not able to cancel.
Give him a promise that you will definitely celebrate his holiday. Only it will happen on another day, because you have extra urgent matters, the solution of which will not be delayed.
Neighbor calls for beer. How to refuse so that he is not offended? Distract him and talk about all sorts of other topics. Speak long enough for three hours to pass. Then say that you will not go anywhere, because time does not allow. This option of refusal is suitable if he invited you to "ventilate" on the phone.
Tell the person that you are on a diet and don't drink alcohol at all. An excellent "excuse"! Guys respect girls who never cease to take care of themselves and their appearance (despite all the existing temptations).
Write a message that you will not be able to keep him company, because you will be busy all evening. Say that you will call him yourself as soon as you have a free minute. Don't upset the guy! Advise to invite your mutual acquaintance or friend to the "glasses".
Great idea!
Talk about how you've had a good time the last few days. So good that you can't drink anymore.
Laugh and say that he called too late, that you were "intercepted" by other people, and you will soon leave for them. Agree to "intersect", for example, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
How can a guy refuse intimacy? - Talk about the fact that you do not want him, that you are not ready for sex, that you still need to wait with him.
Let me know you're on your period. Almost all guys are "repelled" by this. It is unlikely that the one who gets you will be an exception!
You can say that you have a boyfriend and you never cheated on him (do not cheat on him). Good reason to quit!
Say that you are a girl who is interested in girls. The guy will stop "running" after you and wish you happiness.
Say you don't sleep with guys before marriage. His eyes widen in surprise. It will become clear to him that you are "not like everyone else." Just don't say that you're a virgin, because then the guy will definitely not leave you behind!
Let's assume that you have been dating your boyfriend for a long time. One fine day, he invites you to move in with him. You rejoice, but you feel that you are not yet quite ready for such a turn of events (morally).
Explain everything as it is, so as not to invent anything and not to lie! The guy is offended at first. Get over his hurt! She passes.
Ask him not to rush you with an answer. Say you need to think things through.
First agree to move. But with the condition that you will live separately (in an apartment) and that you will choose where exactly. Pretend that you are looking for a suitable place to live. When he gets worried, tell him that there is nothing like that, and convince your loved one that you should wait a couple more months with your life together.
The guy wants to sign in the registry office, without arranging any magnificent wedding?
Make a real scandal if you don't like it. He will follow your lead and do everything the way you dreamed. He just doesn't want to fight you.
Tell your lover that you miss the festive atmosphere, that you have been making plans for a wedding dress and other pleasant wedding trifles since childhood. The guy does not dare to destroy your dreams.
Inflate your lips from resentment and ask your loved one:"Do I really not deserve some real fun?" Your loved one will be embarrassed. He will apologize, hug you, and the conversation will turn into a positive wave.
Say that you will not agree to become his bride and wife if he does not organize everything for you as it should be. Start getting ready! Soon you will be swept by the wedding bustle in the waltz of festive preparations!
Stop talking to him. The guy will not have to refuse anything! He will do everything to ensure that you stop holding grudges against him.
Instruction
First of all, it all depends on the degree of closeness of your relationship. If you have not yet promised him anything, then the most correct style of behavior is a demonstration of complete indifference. Try to look distant in his presence and be sure to watch your body language. Do not turn in his direction, do not show your openness, do not look into his eyes and, moreover, do not touch him, even by accident, if you still have to talk.
Your refusal must be categorical. Therefore, no smiles and jokes. Remember that it is worth it for you to keep up a conversation with him out of politeness, and for a young man this may already be a signal to continue contact.
If you behave insecurely, your behavior can be regarded simply as inflating your prices or breaking. Therefore, the guy will most likely make an attempt to increase pressure on you and triple his attempts to start courting you, because any member of the opposite sex is a hunter by nature.
You should not show excessive aggressiveness, because you do not know this person yet and do not imagine his response. If you do not want trouble, it is better to try to make a refusal in a firm but polite manner.
If you have already tried to meet a little and after some time you realized that this is not yours, and you should stop this relationship, the line of behavior is built differently. First, it's best if you're honest and candid. Why lead a worthy person by the nose, who, like you, can happily arrange his fate? Tell him honestly that you are very sorry about what you are saying now, but you cannot do otherwise, that he is a nice guy, but it is impossible to order feelings. Speak in such a way that he does not have hope that in the future the renewal of your relationship is possible. Invite him to be a friend. It is unlikely that he will immediately agree. But when some time passes, the acute feeling of resentment will go away, and he will realize the fact of the break, friendly relations are quite possible.
A sense of humor can help in difficult conversations. Turn the situation so that your boyfriend is not offended, but laughed. He, of course, will be upset, but there will certainly be less unpleasant sediment in his soul.
It is especially difficult to speak with a touchy, proud and persistent admirer. Therefore, you better think about the words you are going to say in advance. You should not start a conversation if you are irritated and cannot control yourself. And, of course, during a conversation, you should not feel sorry for the fan or respond to his provocations. Be firm, sincere and direct. In the future, the guy will appreciate it.
Make sure that the young man leaves you himself. There are several ways to make this possible. First, "debunk" yourself in his eyes. If you know why he appreciates you, try to make it clear that you are not like that. Second, be overbearing. Annoy him for any reason. Show too much attention and try to control every minute of his life. Thirdly, check it for "lice". Show that you have a lot of problems in life, from moral to material, and that you expect to “resolve” them with his help. In addition, if you understand that the person in front of you is not very serious, you can “finish off” him with your matrimonial plans. Hint that you are now expecting him to submit an application to the registry office.