Causes of children's whims. Tantrums in a child (2 years). Children's tantrums: what to do? How to wean a child from tantrums Komarovsky

04.03.2020

Hysteria in a child is an unpleasant and frequent phenomenon. It occurs not only in children at 4-5 years old, but much earlier. If at an early age whims are more often uncontrollable, then in older kids they become an effective way to manipulate adults. How to deal with such a problem?

Causes

The growing baby acquires more interests and desires. And they do not always agree with the opinion of their parents. This is where the collision occurs. The child defends his position by an accessible method - hysteria. If he does not succeed, the preschooler becomes even more nervous.

The reasons for whims are different:

1. errors of adults in education;
2. intervention of parents in an interesting process in which the child is occupied;
3. excessive severity, or excessive guardianship;
4. the desire of the baby to imitate adults;
5. a consequence of overwork or illness;
6. lack of sleep or hunger;
7. an attempt to achieve something from parents;
8. the desire to make up for the lack of attention;
9. desire to express their feelings;
10. problems with the nervous system.

If from an early age adults will correctly respond to children's tantrums, then soon they will be able to stop.

Tantrums at 4-5 years old

Almost always, it is the parents who are to blame for the fact that the baby is naughty a lot. After all, adults do not always clearly establish acceptable boundaries in the behavior of their offspring. If there are no specific frames in front of him, naturally the baby himself cannot arrange them.

Often, one of the parents or relatives of the older generation acts as a provocateur of tantrums. The child quickly understands that if dad forbids something, then you can get what you want from your grandmother or mother. Adults must agree among themselves in order to choose a common tactic of behavior, otherwise it will not be possible to achieve much success in raising a child.

The child should be aware of all prohibitions, established rules, existing requirements. In addition, it should be clarified that for this or that offense a certain punishment awaits him. Thus, the baby will always have a choice: to play pranks and remain punished, or to show obedience and receive something as a sign of encouragement.

Child throws tantrums in kindergarten

At 4-5 years old, a baby attending a preschool educational institution cries and acts up consciously. Thus, he reacts to the attitude of society towards him. The baby compares himself with his peers, does not want to concede to them in anything. Especially in material values. Many children tend to envy each other, to desire the same toy or accessory. Hysteria expresses the momentary whim of a preschooler.

It is impossible to indulge the whims of a young manipulator. Otherwise, over and over again, desires will only increase. Even if the parents have enough money to buy any little thing that the child requires, it is not very reasonable to shower him with gifts every day.

At 4-5 years old, you can and should talk with a baby, discuss various life circumstances, explain the essence and meaning of money. The child must understand that his parents do not get anything for free, that the desired toy can only be obtained for a holiday or as a reward for good behavior.

It is also important to teach the baby to communicate in a team, to establish friendly relations. An item that another child has can be borrowed or exchanged. If a preschooler is excessively shy, it is necessary to start fighting with the complexes even in kindergarten, so that shyness and timidity go away by school. After all, such qualities are not the best companion of a small person.

Tantrums in preschool

A child can be capricious in a preschool educational institution for other reasons. Perhaps other children offend him there, or educators find fault with him unnecessarily. It is imperative to find out what is the reason for the tantrums. If a child feels bad in kindergarten, you should not send him to "hard labor" every day. It is worth thinking about alternative options - transfer the baby to another preschool educational institution, talk with employees, leave the preschooler at home or with relatives.

If the cause of bad behavior is banal whims, then they should not be encouraged. The baby must himself learn peaceful communication with peers, dialogue and negotiations with them. Of course, in this process he needs to be assisted and assisted.

However, there are situations when you can not do without contacting specialists. The following symptoms indicate the need to visit a psychologist or neurologist:

1. a combination of tantrums with attacks of fear and nightmares;
2. during an emotional explosion, a preschooler inflicts injuries on himself or others;
3. during a tantrum, asthma attacks or loss of consciousness occur;
4. too frequent outbursts of aggression;
5. lethargy after a tantrum, nausea and vomiting.

If diseases are not detected, it is worth paying attention to intra-family relationships. Maybe they are the root of the problem.

Prevention

In order not to bring the child to an attack, you should listen to the recommendations of experienced professionals:

1. The daily regimen must be strictly observed, even if the child does not attend kindergarten. He should be taught discipline from childhood.
2. The schedule must be measured so that it has enough space for rest, active games, sleep, and developmental activities. It is also important to allocate a little personal time for the baby.
3. It is necessary to teach the baby to express the emotions experienced in words. If he can tell someone about overwhelmed feelings, then it will be easier to control them.
4. The child needs to be told which manifestations of emotions are acceptable and which cannot be used.
5. At 4-5 years old, a preschooler can already perform some actions on his own. For example, get dressed, wipe your nose, go down the stairs, wash your face. Therefore, maternal overprotection only harms.
6. In some cases, it is necessary to consult with a small person, so that at least in something the child has a choice.
7. If the baby has just begun to cry, he must be immediately distracted.

These techniques will reduce children's tantrums to a minimum.

Fighting methods

The most important advice to parents: during an emotional outburst, it is useless to punish the baby, beat or scold him. It is necessary to calmly wait out the attack, without fulfilling the requests of the child. When he calms down, you need to talk about what happened, say about the impermissibility of such behavior. It should be conveyed to a small person that hysteria will not be able to achieve what is desired from adults.

If signs of a future explosion are noticed in time, then it is worth switching his attention to something interesting and tempting, giving some kind of assignment. You can not react violently to the whims of the baby, because the inadequate behavior of the parents does not help to calm the crumbs.

It is important to analyze your own actions. Maybe they are the ones who are wrong. Therefore, it is not worth putting all the blame on the child. With proper upbringing and a friendly atmosphere in the family, seizures should not happen. When they do occur, it is better to play it safe and consult a neurologist.

Thus, parents do not need to be afraid of children's tantrums. If you show strictness and patience, behave correctly, then you can cope with the vagaries of the child. If you follow the above recommendations, then after some time it will be possible to change the behavior of a preschooler for the better.

Tantrums are a stage in a child's development.

They learn self-control to this conclusion, but at 2 years old it is difficult for a child to restrain his anger and aggression, and they still cannot express feelings in words. After three years, when the baby learns to express his emotions verbally, tantrums should decline.

Sometimes parents complain that the child is naughty and makes scandals only in the presence of parents. This may be due to the fact that the baby is testing the boundaries of what is permitted, but at the same time is not ready to show his feelings to those people whom he does not trust.

Causes of tantrums can be elementary little things that are almost impossible to predict. But psychologists identify a number of factors that provoke children's tantrums.

Anxiety or illness

A small child cannot always show what exactly hurts him. And even more so, he does not know how to explain to an adult that he feels bad. Parents should be vigilant and watch the baby. A sign of malaise may be decreased appetite, excessive excitability, or crying for no apparent reason.

Naturally, a sick child becomes the center of the family, so even after recovery, he may require the same attention. If the parents are sure that the baby feels good and is absolutely healthy, then such manipulations must be “extinguished” and not succumb.

Fight for attention

Often, due to a lack of parental attention, 2 years happen - a difficult period. To solve the problem, first of all, it is necessary to determine how reasonable these requirements are. Perhaps these are not just whims, and the baby really considers himself deprived and lonely.

The main task of parents is to find the line when satisfaction of needs ends and selfishness begins. If by crying the baby is trying to attract attention, but the adults are constantly next to him, you should not follow the lead of the little commander at the first cry.

Get what you want

Often, due to the fact that it is impossible to get what you want, there are tantrums in a child. 2 years is a period when the baby wants to get what he wants by any means. It can be a toy you like or an unwillingness to leave the site, or something else that you should definitely get here and now.

Parental prohibitions are not always clear to the child, and at times it is very difficult to convey the essence to the baby due to his age. Now there are many temptations for him, with which it is incredibly difficult to fight. Therefore, parents should not specifically tempt the baby. It is better to remove all items that he may like from his field of vision and not take him with you to outlets with children's assortment and sweets.

Do not think that the child is still too small and does not understand anything. Children's tantrums are a way to test the limits of what is permitted and test parents for stress resistance. Therefore, it is necessary to be consistent and unshakable so that the baby understands that the ban will not be lifted. Contradictory actions confuse the child and encourage him to invent new tests for adults.

You need to talk with the baby on an equal footing and explain to him why his desire cannot be fulfilled now. Over time, the child will learn that the parental “no” is not subject to dispute, and whims in this case are useless.

Authoritarian parenting style and children's self-affirmation

In most cases, the child throws tantrums if he tries to protest to his parents. Perhaps the authoritarian upbringing does not allow the baby to express himself, so he rebels. Do not forget that children are people too, and they need a certain amount of freedom.

The enthusiastic attitude of parents to the child leads to the fact that the baby becomes indulgent towards himself, but absolutely intolerant of others. The lack of constant attention causes a storm of negative emotions in the child, which find a way out in hysteria.

In order for children to develop harmoniously, adults must strike the right balance of guardianship and freedom. When a child is sure that his opinion is valued and respected, it will be easier for him to accept prohibitions.

Whims for no reason

Sometimes there are tantrums in a child for no reason. 2 years old - the age when the baby cannot explain why he was upset. To understand the situation, parents should analyze recent events. Perhaps the family is tense or the baby simply did not get enough sleep. All people have a different character and individual characteristics, so all children react in their own way to what is happening.

How to avoid tantrums?

Parents with a 2-year-old child know that tantrums cannot be completely avoided, but steps can be taken to reduce the consequences.

The baby should sleep well.
It is necessary to observe the regime of the day.
You should not plan the day so that the child receives a large number of new experiences. If this is unavoidable, then care should be taken to have something to entertain the baby.
Children should be taught to express their feelings. It is necessary to gently prompt them how to do it correctly, and help them choose words.
If possible, the child should be given the right to choose at least in those matters that are not fundamental.
All changes in the daily routine must be warned in advance, for example, five minutes before lunch, the baby needs to be informed that he will eat soon.

If the tantrum has already begun ...

Many parents ask themselves: the child has a tantrum - what to do? First of all, you need to remember that you can not threaten the baby with punishment if he is hysterical. In this case, the child will accumulate aggression and resentment, which destroy his psychological health and provoke new scandals. Adults should behave calmly and confidently, expressing understanding. Over time, children learn to control their emotions and monitor their behavior.

But you should not try to appease and encourage the child in every possible way just to calm him down. This will give him confidence that he can behave in this way in order to get what he wants. There is no need to explain something to the baby at the moment of screaming and crying, it is unlikely that he will learn the words addressed to him. Better to wait until he calms down.

If tantrums are often observed in a child, Komarovsky advises parents to learn to say “no”. The decision made cannot be changed or softened so that the baby does not begin to manipulate adults. Indulgence in children's whims will lead to the loss of the boundaries of what is permitted, so the baby will look for them with new persistence.

Until the child calms down, it is necessary to speak quietly, but firmly. You should argue your position and give arguments that will be clear to the baby at his age.

Search for compromises

In the event that a child wakes up with a tantrum, you should make sure that his sleep was full and long enough. Perhaps you should put him to bed a little earlier. But such behavior can be observed due to the excitable nervous system and the individual characteristics of the baby. Parents can try to make the morning more pleasant and calm, leaving the child to decide what to eat for breakfast: unloved porridge or delicious cottage cheese. Sometimes compromises work wonders, besides, the child learns to negotiate and give in.

Children's tantrums can complicate the life of any, even very patient adults. Yesterday the baby was a “darling”, and today it has been replaced - he screams for any reason, squeals, falls to the floor, beats his head against the walls and carpet, and no exhortations help. Such unpleasant scenes are almost never one-time protests. Often, tantrums in a child are repeated systematically, sometimes several times a day.

This cannot but disturb and puzzle parents who are wondering what they did wrong, is everything okay with the baby and how to stop these antics. An authoritative well-known pediatrician Evgeny Komarovsky tells moms and dads how to respond to children's tantrums.

About the problem

Children's tantrums are a ubiquitous phenomenon. And even if the parents of the little one say that they have the calmest baby in the world, this does not mean that he never makes scenes out of the blue. Until recently, it was somehow embarrassing to admit to tantrums in one’s own child, the parents were embarrassed, suddenly others would think that they were raising the little one poorly, and sometimes they were completely afraid that their beloved child would be considered mentally “not like that”. So they fought, as best they could, in the family circle.

In recent years, the problem has begun to be discussed with specialists, child psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists, and pediatricians. And an insight came: there are much more hysterical children than it might seem at first glance. According to statistics available to child psychologists in one of the major Moscow clinics, 80% of children under the age of 6 have tantrums periodically, and 55% of such children have tantrums on a regular basis. On average, children can fall into such attacks from 1 time per week to 3-5 times a day.

A child's tantrum has certain basic symptoms. As a rule, an attack is preceded by some identical events and situations.

During a tantrum, a child can scream heart-rendingly, tremble, choke, and there will not be so many tears. There may be shortness of breath, an increased heart rate, and many children try to hurt themselves by scratching their faces, biting their hands, hitting walls or the floor. Attacks in children are quite long, after which they cannot calm down for a long time, sobbing.

In certain age periods, tantrums acquire stronger manifestations; at such “critical” stages of growing up, emotional outbursts change their color. They may suddenly appear, or they may just as suddenly disappear. But tantrums should never be ignored, just as a child should not be allowed to manipulate adult family members with the help of screaming and stamping their feet.

The opinion of Dr. Komarovsky

First of all, Evgeny Komarovsky believes, parents should remember that a child in a state of hysteria necessarily needs a spectator. Kids never make scandals in front of a TV or a washing machine, they choose a living person, and from family members the one who is most sensitive to his behavior is suitable for the role of a spectator.

If dad starts to worry and get nervous, then it will be he who will be chosen by the child for a spectacular tantrum. And if the mother ignores the behavior of the child, then throwing a tantrum in front of her is simply not interesting.

How to wean a child from tantrums will tell Dr. Komarovskaya in the next video.

This opinion somewhat contradicts the generally accepted opinion of child psychologists, who argue that a child in a state of hysteria does not control himself at all. Komarovsky is sure that the baby is perfectly aware of the situation and the balance of power, and everything that he does at this moment does it quite arbitrarily.

Therefore, the main advice from Komarovsky is in no way to show that the children's "concert" touches the parents in any way. No matter how strong the tears, screams and stamping of feet were.

If a child ever achieves his goal with the help of a tantrum, he will use this method all the time. Komarovsky warns parents to appease the baby during a tantrum.

To give in means to become a victim of manipulation, which will, in one way or another, constantly improving, continue for the rest of your life.

Preferably calm tactics of behavior and rejection of tantrums were followed by all family members, so that mom's "no" never turns into dad's "yes" or grandma's "maybe". Then the child will quickly understand that hysteria is not a method at all, and will stop testing adults' nerves for strength.

If the grandmother begins to show softness, to feel sorry for the child offended by the parental refusal, then she runs the risk of becoming the only spectator of children's tantrums. The problem, says Komarovsky, is the lack of physical security with such grandmothers. After all, usually a grandson or granddaughter gradually ceases to obey them and can get into an unpleasant situation in which they can be injured on a walk, burn yourself with boiling water in the kitchen, put something into the socket, etc., because the baby will not react to the calls of the grandmother.

What to do?

If the child is 1-2 years old, he is quite quickly able to form the correct behavior at the reflex level. Komarovsky advises to put the baby in the arena, where he will have a safe space. As soon as the tantrum began, leave the room, but let the child know that he is being heard. As soon as the little one is silent, you can go into his room. If the cry is repeated - go out again.

According to Yevgeny Olegovich, two days are enough for a child of one and a half to two years to develop a stable reflex - “mom is nearby if I don’t yell.”

For such a “training”, parents will need truly iron nerves, the doctor emphasizes. However, their efforts will certainly be rewarded by the fact that in a short time an adequate, calm and obedient child will grow up in their family. And one more important point - the sooner parents put this knowledge into practice, the better for everyone. If the child has already exceeded 3 years, this method alone is indispensable. More painstaking work on the bugs will be required. First of all, over parental mistakes in raising their own child.

The child does not obey and is hysterical

Absolutely any children can be naughty, says Komarovsky. Much depends on the character, temperament, upbringing, norms of behavior that are accepted in the family, on the relationship between members of this family.

Do not forget about the "transitional" age - 3 years, 6-7 years, adolescence.

3 years

At the age of about three years, the child understands and realizes himself in this big world, and, of course, he wants to try this world for strength. In addition, children at this age are not all and far from always able to express in words their feelings, emotions and experiences on any occasion. So they show them in the form of hysteria.

Quite often at this age stage, night tantrums begin. They are spontaneous in nature, the child simply wakes up at night and immediately practices a piercing cry, arches, sometimes tries to break away from adults and try to run away. Usually night tantrums do not last so long, and the child "outgrows" them, they stop as suddenly as they began.

6-7 years old

At 6-7 years old, a new stage of growing up occurs. The kid is already ripe in order to go to school, and they begin to demand more from him than before. He is very afraid of not meeting these requirements, he is afraid of “failing”, stress accumulates and sometimes spills out again in the form of hysteria.

Yevgeny Komarovsky emphasizes that most often parents turn to doctors with this problem when the child is already 4-5 years old, when tantrums occur “out of habit”.

If, at an earlier age, parents failed to stop such behavior and unwittingly became participants in a tough performance that the baby plays in front of them every day, trying to achieve something of his own.

Parents are usually frightened by some of the external manifestations of hysteria, such as the child's fainting state, convulsions, "hysterical bridge" (arching the back), deep sobs and shortness of breath. Affective-respiratory disorders, this is how Evgeny Olegovich calls this phenomenon, are characteristic mainly of young children - up to 3 years. With strong crying, the child exhales almost the entire volume of air from the lungs, and this leads to blanching, holding the breath.

Such attacks are characteristic of capricious, excitable children, says Komarovsky. Many children use other methods of venting anger, disappointment or resentment - they sublimate emotion into movement - they fall, knock with their feet and hands, beat their heads against objects, walls, floors.

With a prolonged and severe hysterical affective-respiratory attack, involuntary convulsions may begin if the child's consciousness begins to suffer. Sometimes in this state, the baby can describe himself, even if he has been going to the pot for a long time, and there are no incidents. Usually, after convulsions (tonic - with muscle tension or clonic - with relaxation, "softening"), breathing is restored, the skin ceases to be "cyanotic", the baby begins to calm down.

With such manifestations of hysteria, it is still better to consult a pediatric neurologist, since the same symptoms are characteristic of some nervous disorders.

Teach your child to express emotions in words. Your child cannot not be angry and annoyed at all, like any other normal person. You just need to teach him how to express his anger or irritation correctly.
A child prone to hysterical attacks should not be overly patronized, groomed and cherished, it is best to send him to kindergarten as soon as possible. There, says Komarovsky, seizures usually do not occur at all due to the lack of permanent and impressionable spectators of tantrums - mom and dad.
Hysterical attacks can be learned to anticipate and control. To do this, parents need to carefully observe when a tantrum usually begins. The child may be sleepy, hungry, or he does not tolerate when they begin to rush him. Try to avoid potential "conflict" situations.
At the first sign of a tantrum starting, you should try to distract the child. Usually, says Komarovsky, this “works” quite successfully with children under three years old. With older guys it will be more difficult.
If your child tends to hold his breath during a tantrum, there is nothing particularly wrong with that. Komarovsky says that in order to improve breathing, you just need to blow in the face of the baby, and he will definitely take a breath reflexively.
No matter how difficult it is for parents to deal with the tantrums of the child, Komarovsky strongly recommends that you go through with this. If you let the kid beat you with a tantrum, then it will be even more difficult. After all, a hysterical and completely unbearable teenager of 15-16 years old will one day grow out of a hysterical three-year-old. It will ruin the life of not only parents. He makes it very difficult for himself.

Doctor Komarovsky

Faced with this unpleasant phenomenon, we understand that the child is growing up and showing his "I". Only the response of parents is not always adequate and competent, because they lack patience, knowledge, and the ability to prevent such attacks. Most of these situations require patience and wisdom. What should adults know about children's tantrums? Why do they happen and how should parents behave, how should they react? Now we'll find out.

What is hysteria

The concepts of "whim" and "hysteria" are very close. But children resort to the former in order to achieve the impossible at the moment or the desired. For example, a child wants a chocolate bar that is not in the house, begins to whine, cry, act up. At the same time, his behavior worsens, but it is easily controlled, whims do not reach the stage of hysteria.

But hysteria is a stronger emotional reaction that begins with a request, refusal of certain actions and ends with howling, beating your head on the floor, fists, scratching your face, sometimes convulsions and vomiting join. That is, this is a reaction reinforced by aggression, when the child does not control his motor skills. It arises as a response to unpleasant news, resentment, prohibition, often intensifies with attention from the outside and sometimes stops when it disappears.

Why is the child hysterical

Pediatricians, including Evgeny Komarovsky, explain that hysteria in a newborn baby mainly happens due to pain in the tummy. The child adapts to life outside the womb, colic for a long time accompanies the process of such adaptation. The formation of a dense lump of feces, irritation of the intestinal walls causes pain, which the baby shows with a strong cry. The only thing that can be done when a baby is hysterical is to use special soothing drops and be patient, press the baby with your tummy to yourself, massage it. As a rule, up to six months such problems disappear.

A one-year-old child has a lot of energy, and he simply does not know how to use it. But the body most easily gets rid of it by screaming, tantrums. Excessive emotions in a one-year-old baby come out with the help of strong body movements, screaming and crying. At this age, he may yell not in order to achieve something from his father and mother, but because a cry is his physiological reaction to a situation that he does not like, does not suit him. This is an answer and a protest, an expression of one's "I". In a year, a child experiences the first developmental crisis. And just such emotional reactions are a manifestation of the formation of a small personality.

The child himself does not yet know how to stop such a protest. If there is one thing he wants at this moment, it is help. Adults should help the baby cope with the flow of emotions. And parents sometimes begin to shout at the child even louder, demonstrating strength and superiority. This is absolutely impossible to do. It is better to be silent and just hug the baby, kiss him, stroke his back, head, give him his favorite toy. The cry of the parents and the requirement to calm down can only increase the emotional arousal of the crumbs. It's like throwing wood on a fire.

Hysteria in a child after bathing is a manifestation of irritation to severe physical discomfort. And its reason is most often washing of a head. Children do not like the way their mother pours water on their heads. Water enters the eyes, the child screams, protests, stress hormones fill the small body. Children do not know how to endure and understand that this procedure is necessary.

Sometimes babies just don't want to leave the bathroom and protest that way too. Parents need to learn how to negotiate with the child, and if it comes to washing the head, then perhaps do it together with dad or buy a special bathing visor so that the water does not get into the baby's eyes.

Strong emotional reactions before going to bed, tantrums in a child when going to bed, happen because he is forced to interrupt interesting games. And in this case, it is necessary, again, to learn how to negotiate with the baby, to remind that toys also want to sleep, and it's time to end communication with them. Another reason is the baby's weaning from the habit of falling asleep with his mother. Knowing that he will be left alone in the crib, he will deliberately protest. After all, next to his parents he was much more comfortable.

Tantrums before bedtime and at night in a dream can have another unusual reason. If the baby is healthy, there are no such problems with him during the day, but only in the evening and at night, then perhaps someone thinks badly about him or your family. In the evening, people are overcome by old grievances, heavy thoughts. If the father of the family is walking, then nighttime children's tantrums may indicate that another woman does not allow your family to live in peace. And her negative thoughts are displayed on the energy of the weakest family member. He will cry at night and when his mother took his father away from another family.

Nightmares are also a cause of poor sleep in children. If in the middle of the night the baby screams and suddenly sits down in the crib, pointing somewhere without giving coherent answers, then this is a nightmare.

Most often, this phenomenon is typical for children of three to five years.

If such episodes occur once or twice a month, and during the day there are no signs of neuroticism in the behavior of the baby, then parents do not need to worry. Perhaps in the morning the baby will tell you his worst dream. If a grandmother or grandfather frightens the baby with something or someone during the day, then at night the child can see the object of his fear. Therefore, it is worth forgetting about babais and other things in the educational process.

After an illness, children sometimes also fall into hysterics, which was not typical for them before. If the illness was prolonged, severe, with fever, intoxication, then the child had an exhaustion of the nervous system. Pediatrician Yevgeny Komarovsky says that it is very difficult for a child's brain in a serious illness. Therefore, nervous exhaustion in a child is manifested by tantrums. It is necessary to undergo a course of sedative therapy, well, parents just have to be patient.

What to do if the child has a tantrum after weaning

Mom's milk and breasts are the natural protection of the crumbs. And we are talking not only about the formation of children's immunity and the physiological norm. Breastfeeding is a procedure for protecting and calming the baby. No matter how long a woman breastfeeds a child, weaning from her is a lot of stress. The child is deprived of peace and psychological comfort, which he always experiences at the mother's breast.

Very often, mothers wean the baby from breastfeeding early. The unpreparedness of the child for this (for example, at 3, 6 months) will be accompanied by tantrums. Therefore, the process of weaning must be competent.

If a firm decision is made about this, then weaning should be gradual. Change your daily feeds first. After a few days, remove breastfeeding before daytime sleep, then evening. Nights should be the last thing to stop. Otherwise, tantrums cannot be avoided.

Hysteria in a child: how to calm down

On the street, in the store, in the church, children throw tantrums to get what they want, and often this is done in a revealing way to attract the attention of others. Therefore, the first advice is to deprive the artist of the audience, that is, take the child out of a public place, but do it silently and calmly. If, fearing the condemnation of others, you will fulfill the requirements of the child (for example, buying a toy in a store), then tantrums will become the norm. You just fix this form of behavior of the baby. Let the child express displeasure, but your equanimity should make him understand that such behavior is useless.

If we are talking about a strong emotional outburst in the church, then just try to hug the child tightly. Hold it like this, pat it on the head, calm it down in a low voice, pay attention to the dome, beautiful icon frames and other attractive objects. When a child simply gets tired of waiting for the end of the Liturgy, you can take him outside for a few minutes. This is normal, and condemnation in such cases should not be afraid.

In kindergarten, similar reactions most often occur during the period of adaptation, getting used to the institution. Therefore, psychologists advise taking the baby to the kindergarten for walks even at the stage of passing the medical examination, having previously agreed with the teacher. The child can walk with everyone on the playground in the afternoon. In the presence of his mother, the teacher can introduce him to the general game - this will make it easier to get used to. In the first days of the official stay in the garden, the mother may be present in the group for some time. Sometimes the reason for tantrums can be the morning rush to kindergarten. Then try to put to bed and wake up the child earlier. Let him have breakfast with you and spend more time at home.

At school, emotional outbursts in children often occur due to fatigue, mental stress, and difficulties in mastering the material. If you can’t find out on your own why school-age children have this behavior, then talk to the teacher, contact the school psychologist.

Tantrums in children can also happen before meals if, for example, you tear them away from games, cartoons, and other interesting activities. So in this case, just find a compromise. Mom and dad should already know about the harbingers of tantrums - whimpering, sniffing, pursing lips. Observing such symptoms, try to immediately switch the attention of the baby. A favorite toy, a book, a cat will help the child calm down, and let the dinner cool down a bit.

When it comes to an unloved dish, then you must first have a conversation with the baby, talk about the benefits of such food, and decorate a portion of porridge. You can think about other options for changing the attitude towards such dishes or their serving.

Tantrums for no reason, to the point of vomiting and turning blue, if they are persistent, may be the result of a disease of the nervous system. In this case, you should contact a pediatric neurologist. It is necessary to consult if tantrums become more frequent and become aggressive; continue after the age of 4 years; the child during them causes damage to others; when they end up vomiting.

Perhaps such reactions are the result of trouble in the family? Do not forget that children copy the behavior of their parents. Their violent tantrums for no reason may actually occur after parental scandals or be a reaction to physical punishment.

The child has terrible tantrums: Komarovsky

Evgeny Komarovsky calls such conditions in children under three years of age affective-respiratory attacks. Their manifestation is a spasm of the larynx with a strong emotional load. The pediatrician explains such attacks by the peculiarities of early preschool age and the manifestation of the specificity of metabolism (increased need for calcium, the lack of which provokes spasm of the larynx).

Also, a terrible tantrum can be a manifestation of increased nervous excitability. The baby should be shown to an experienced pediatric neurologist. Yevgeny Komarovsky states that such emotional outbursts stop after three or four years.

Especially for - Diana Rudenko

Many parents have experienced such a phenomenon as children's tantrums. At each age, they manifest themselves in different ways and their causes are different. But in any case, all family members suffer, including the youngest.

By the age of 2-3, the baby learns to show his “I”, becomes a person with his own desires and needs. When the age crisis begins, the peak of which falls on 2.5 - 3 years, parents stop recognizing their child. Their beloved child becomes uncontrollable: he throws tantrums for any reason, on the street and at home.

Why is this happening?

Firstly, a small child with amazing speed acquires new skills and abilities, learns the world around him with all its laws and paradoxes. The child's psyche does not have time to adapt to the numerous changes in life, and as a result, tantrums occur.

Secondly, children of this age already have their own desires, but they do not always know how to express them, let alone justify them. Very often there is a clash of interests between adults and the child, while the child begins to cry or get angry, believing that he is being infringed as a person. In this way, through protest, Krokha shows adults his autonomy.

The causes of children's tantrums also depend on many factors.

there is no other way to express feelings;
to attract attention;
a strong desire to get something;
fatigue, hunger;
the desire to be like adults;
poor health, illness;
excessive severity or vice versa, too strong guardianship of adults;
separation from an interesting game;
features of the nervous system.

Actions of parents

A lot depends on the reaction of an adult during this period. First of all, it is important for parents to understand: such behavior is considered absolutely normal for this age. The kid begins to realize that the world revolves not only around him, and sometimes does not want to put up with it. As a result, outbursts of anger, aggression, protest, anger appear.

The emotional situation in the family plays a very important role in the further development of a small person. Parents, consciously or not, are taking various measures to stop this. Someone leaves the baby alone in the room, someone tries to calm him down with explanations. A popular way is to switch attention, but psychologists do not recommend resorting to it. Thus, the problem is not solved, but postponed.

It is impossible to suppress the manifestation of children's emotions, because this is necessary for further psychological development;
Criticism can be subjected to the actions of the child, but not the person as a whole. The kid must be sure that the love of the parents remains, no matter what;
It is impossible to respond with aggression to children's anger and seizures. The baby must understand that such behavior cannot change the world;
Bans must be justified and permanent.

A well-known pediatrician, Evgeny Komarovsky, whose advice is listened to by a huge number of parents, both in Russia and abroad, advises learning to distinguish whims from hysteria.

The whims of a child are an expression of desires “I want - I don’t want”, and hysteria is a manifestation of inappropriate behavior. In the second case, the baby cannot explain what he wants, since his speech may not yet be fully formed.

Dr. Komarovsky claims that the child arranges such scenes only in front of those people who are sensitive to them. Children quickly understand who is controllable and who is not. For example, if a mother or grandmother runs to him at the first sign of indignation, and the father does not react or leaves, then this will be repeated only in the presence of mother or grandmother. The kid sees that his tantrum can change the behavior or decision of some family members, so he will repeat this method of achieving the desired again and again. In such cases, it is important to take care of the safety of the child. In a hysterical state, he can involuntarily cripple himself.

It is very important to exclude diseases that can provoke such a condition. Among the ailments leading to tantrums, anemia, dermatitis, a violation of the metabolism of calcium and magnesium stand out. Therefore, consulting a pediatrician will not hurt.

The method of ignoring is considered the most optimal in the fight against an uncontrolled seizure. But it is not the child that should be ignored, but his behavior. You should continue to talk in a calm tone, not paying attention to screams.
You can leave the child's visibility zone, show your disinterest in such behavior. Dr. Komarovsky also speaks positively about the “time-out” method (angle method), which after two years can be applied little by little.

It should also be taken into account that family relationships are of great importance in overcoming the crisis. If a child from infancy is used to the fact that with every squeak all family members rush to him, making him the center of the universe, then he will do the same at an older age. If mom and dad communicate in raised tones, then such a form of communication will be considered normal for their child. Therefore, it is important to show by example how you can calmly resolve all conflicts.

And the most important thing that the parents of such a baby should remember is that all this is temporary. You just need to try to understand your baby and love him. Any crisis ends with the next stage of growing up. A small person will learn to look at the world around him in a new way, and adults will gain invaluable experience in education.