Eye contact with a girl is an important pickup technique. How eye contact affects our behavior

15.07.2019

Eye (visual) contact- one of the types of non-verbal communication. Understanding its essence and competent application in everyday life helps to establish relationships with the highest quality, as well as effectively influence their development. How do you learn the correct reading of eye contact, so that during the entire time of communication?

Rice. The psychology of eye contact

We read by sight

An open, confident, calm look

In moments of communication, the interlocutor openly looks into your eyes - a sign that he kind of tacitly announces that you are in his field of vision, that he is constantly watching you, evaluating every word, emotion, pose, gesture. It also signals that he is. Direct eye-to-eye contact during a conversation makes it clear that the interlocutor is sincere, that he has nothing to hide. In addition, it allows us to conclude that he is interested in what you are talking about.

Eye movement

In the course of a conversation, pay attention to where the interlocutor is looking during pauses, when he is pondering his answers to your questions. If the gaze is directed to the left, it means that the person is telling the truth, since at this moment the part of his brain that is responsible for memories is intensively functioning. Looking to the right is a signal that the interlocutor is referring to the part of the brain responsible for. This means that he is trying to invent an answer.

Look away

If the interlocutor avoids your gaze, the first thing that comes to mind is deception. But not always the lack of direct eye contact speaks of a lie. This can signal excessive shyness. Also, the truth may be hidden in the fact that the interlocutor is ashamed in front of you for any unseemly act.

Gazing (evaluating) gaze

Everything is good in moderation. This also applies to the intent, unblinking gaze of the interlocutor during a conversation. Such a look can make you uncomfortable. By this the interlocutor shows that he can study you without any hesitation, frankly speaking, just “gawk”. And this is already beyond the bounds of decency, speaks of arrogance and arrogance, especially during the first communication. In a normal person, a gaze causes at least embarrassment and a feeling of psychological discomfort.

A very attentive look can also indicate deception. Thus, the interlocutor tries to hide the truth from you without giving himself away. The opponent cannot act differently, otherwise his gaze will become restless and bashful (it will start to "run" from side to side, and also go down).

Do you often look other people in the eye? And they to you? Looking into the eyes allows you to establish mutual understanding, recognize a lie, fall in love or fall in love with yourself. Former FBI agent Jack Schafer, in Turning On Charm Using the Secret Service Technique, explains how to become charming, achieve your goals, and change your life.

How to send a friendly signal

The correct eye contact will help you create a favorable impression of yourself as someone who can be perceived as a potential friend.

Pick the person you want to send a friendly signal to and look them in the eye for one second. Do not look longer, it will be perceived as aggression, that is, as a hostile signal. Long-term eye contact in the early stages of dating, especially on a date, is an invasion of a person's personal space.

End eye contact with a light smile. If you were answered in the same way, it means that you managed to arouse sympathy for yourself. If the person looks you in the eye, then looks away for a while, and then restores eye contact again, feel free to approach him and start communicating. You are interesting to him and he will be glad to communicate.

Long look in the eyes

In unfamiliar surroundings, such as in a crowd on the street, eye contact only lasts a fraction of a second, and most people avoid eye contact altogether. Looking into the eyes for a long time usually conveys strong emotion - it is a sign of either closeness and sympathy, or hostility and aggressiveness. This can be so frustrating that we usually avoid contact for more than one or two seconds.

Looking straight into the eyes for a long time is an excellent means of establishing rapport.

This behavior should not be confused with the unceremonious habit of staring at strangers. Usually, when making eye contact, you look into your partner's eyes for no longer than a second, as a longer gaze will be perceived as a threat. By staring at a stranger, you send him a signal of hostility. However, when people know each other and feel good about each other, eye contact can last for a few seconds or longer. For example, lovers often look into each other's eyes for a long time. If you use the techniques below, you can safely use prolonged eye contact to build better rapport with a stranger.

After making eye contact, continue to look the person in the eyes for a couple of seconds, gradually turning away from him, but continuing to keep focus. Seeing you turn away, the person will think that you have broken contact, so the gaze will not be perceived as unceremonious gazing.

This technique will allow you to amplify the emotional impact of a friendly signal. Be careful: prolonged eye contact should not be used to prematurely bond with a stranger. Men often use this technique out of place and ruin potential relationships.

Use your eyebrows

To heighten the impact of short eye contact, add a friendly play of eyebrows. This means an instant raise of the eyebrows. When people look in the eyes and raise their eyebrows, they show that they are not a threat to each other. Our brain subconsciously recognizes this signal. Having received it, we send our partner a non-verbal response signal that we should not be afraid, because we have no hostile intentions.

Most people are not even aware of this gesture, do not notice how other people are doing it, and do not feel how they themselves make it, since it is almost always performed mechanically and unconsciously. Try to observe for yourself the people meeting for the first time in your life, and, if possible, the development of their communication.

Pay attention to the pupils

Dilated pupils indicate increased interest. If you see a person you like, then your pupils involuntarily dilate. The stronger the sympathy, the wider the pupil. Of course, this is a very transparent hint that you are attractive to someone, but it is not always easy to notice it in everyday life, therefore, the value of this friendly signal is very limited.

Pupil dilation is best seen in people with light eyes.

Dark-eyed people often look unusual because their pupils appear dilated all the time. Pupils dilate even with insufficient light, therefore, when assessing this physiological reaction, one must be careful and prudent.

The short-term effect of dilating the pupils can be achieved by imagining that you are very surprised by something.

Don't roll your eyes

Rolling your eyes at the sight of another person is considered a hostile sign that interrupts and makes further interaction impossible. By doing this, you inform the person that you think their behavior is stupid or unacceptable. If, for example, being in a large company, you hear how someone, in your opinion, is talking nonsense, you can roll your eyes theatrically in response. If the person concerned sees your movement, consider that a positive relationship in the future between you is impossible. However, it matters whether you are familiar with this person or not.

Watching someone roll or roll their eyes in meetings and conferences is a very exciting experience, and also helps to understand how people feel about different statements. If they do not share the speaker's views, they often roll or round their eyes when the speaker turns away or delves into their notes. This non-verbal signal allows dissenting people to be immediately identified.

If, after saying something, you suddenly see someone roll their eyes, pay close attention to this person in order to subsequently try to convince him that your opinion deserves attention. Remember, don't waste your energy on convincing supporters who are already listening to you leaning forward, nodding and smiling.

Smile with your eyes

If you only smile with your lips, your smile will look fake. But if you smile with only your eyes, even without lips, you will look very charming. Wrinkles around the eyes are clear signs of a true smile.

The speaker always notices that he is not being listened to. It is best to let the other person know that you are listening carefully by maintaining constant eye contact with them. This gives you a friendly, non-verbal cue that further strengthens the bond of friendship.

It is not necessary to constantly look into the eyes of the interlocutor. It is enough to look at him for two-thirds or three-quarters of the time during which he speaks. This is quite enough to achieve mutual understanding and convince the person that you are really interested in what he is saying.

You can become charming, achieve your goals and change your life with the help of your eyes.

Most importantly, let your soul mirror be full of sincerity and kindness.

Eye contact

"Clash of views" in a heated political debate.

Eye contact eye-to-eye gaze is an important part of non-verbal communication in humans and various animal species. The nature of eye contact plays a large role in social behavior. The unspoken rules by which eye contact is assessed and its optimal duration and frequency are determined vary greatly in different societies and cultures and change as traditions change. Psychology, psychiatry and neurobiology investigate the role of eye contact in child development, its social aspects, the impact on the performance of cognitive tasks, as well as the problem of avoiding contact in autism.

Many species of animals have a negative perception of direct eye gaze, probably because it can be a sign of a potential threat. In humans, the role of the gaze is more complex. For example, some researchers believe that the white sclera of humans, unlike the pigmented sclera of other primates, has developed due to the need to accurately track eye movements and the direction of gaze. There is evidence that when looking at a face, direct eye contact contributes to the identification of a person's gender and accelerates the recognition of familiar faces.

Meeting a direct gaze, whether in an image or in life, a person pays special attention to it. One study noted that direct contact slows down reaction to objects in the environment more than looking at a face with averted gaze. Eye contact with a stranger increases autonomic nervous system activity in adults, according to another study. This effect of mutual gaze on cognitive processes and behavioral responses is called the "effect of eye contact" (eng. eye contact effect).

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See what "Eye contact" is in other dictionaries:

Eye contact- - a look into the eyes of the interlocutor during communication. In the Russian culture of communication, it is customary for the interlocutors to look into each other's eyes during communication, occasionally interrupting eye contact. If someone speaks without looking at the interlocutor, this is a manifestation ... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

eye contact- look into the eyes of the interlocutor during communication. In the Russian culture of communication, it is customary for the interlocutors to look into each other's eyes during communication, occasionally interrupting eye contact. If someone speaks without looking at the interlocutor, this is a manifestation ... ...

Visual contact- a method of visual conspiratorial communication, in which two persons, not approaching each other, exchange glances, conventional signs, signals. This method is used by operational workers of the state security agencies to communicate with agents, ... ... Counterintelligence Dictionary

This term has other meanings, see Pickup. Ari Schaeffer "Faust seducing Margarita" Pika ... Wikipedia

Affiliate communication- the manifestation through behavior of interest, benevolence, etc. when interacting with a partner in O. It may be based on both the motive of affiliation and the motive of achievement, self-affirmation. In this case, affiliate behavior ... ... Psychology of communication. encyclopedic Dictionary

oculesika- the part of paralinguistics dealing with eye movements and gaze. It is inappropriate not to look at the interlocutor for a long time during a conversation, glancing only occasionally (this makes a bad impression in most European cultures); against… … Culture of speech communication: Ethics. Pragmatics. Psychology

The founder of G. in., The radical wing of the group movement, focused on providing psychological assistance to the growth of personality, is Rogers (Rogers S. R .; first experiments in 1947). By his contribution to the group movement ... ... Psychotherapeutic encyclopedia

Non-verbal communication is communication interaction between individuals without the use of words (transfer of information or influence on each other through images, intonation, gestures, facial expressions, pantomime, changing the mise-en-scene of communication), that is, without ... ... Wikipedia

This term has other meanings, see Reflection. Reflection is the simplest form of copying someone as a way of communicating with them. In human behavior, types of reflection are usually observed: adopting a pose, gesturing and highlighting ... ... Wikipedia

How important is eye contact in seduction? After all, if you go to a girl, and lower your gaze to the floor, or your eyes run, it will immediately betray yours. The girl will think that something is wrong with you.

How important is eye contact?

The correct eye contact will make the girl feel emotional. Including .

But why is it often so difficult to look a girl in the eye and not look away?

There can be several explanations for this. Let's start with natural. Direct, confident, direct, "not looking away" gaze is an indicator of a strong male. He is confident in himself, he is not afraid of anyone or anything, and he does what he wants.

If a person hides his gaze, avoids eye contact, then this may indicate that he has some. Maybe my mother did not bring up the way a boy should be brought up by a potentially strong man, or there were some negative situations in life that could affect self-confidence.

How to train proper eye contact

If you find it difficult to catch a girl's gaze, and not to look away, I have good news. This can be practiced. To work out the right look, you don't even have to approach the girl first. Just when you go to school or work, or find yourself in a public place, look at all the pretty girls. At the same time, pay attention to how you look, to what you feel at the same time. And try to endure as long as possible and not look away.

Even the following experiment was carried out: a guy stood close to an unfamiliar girl and looked at her with a calm, confident look. He was not smiling, his face was neutral and confident. Accordingly, the girl paid attention to him. Then the several girls with whom this experiment was conducted were asked how they felt and what they were thinking at that moment. And literally all the girls said that thoughts at this time literally turned off, and quite strong emotions and excitement arose. And one girl even said that she had a desire to approach this guy and kiss him. This is how love begins).

At the same time, this man did nothing, he just stood and calmly looked at the girl. Now you understand how important eye contact is.

Now directly about looking eye to eye.

When communicating with a girl, look in one eye: in the left or right - there is no difference. When you look into one eye, you get the impression of a very confident gaze. Even if you are worried, but you hold the right look, the girl may not notice your excitement, since she herself will experience emotions.

This theory applies not only to girls, but also to other areas of life. Especially in business, in negotiations, in conflict situations, etc. The role of eye contact of interlocutors in communication is very high. Of course, you should not look too closely into the eyes of a person during informal communication, as he may feel uncomfortable. It is important to understand in what situations you should, one way or another, control your gaze.

I hope that now you will pay attention to this component of communication, and your efficiency will increase by an order of magnitude. Good luck!

The most important part of communication is the look. After all, it is not for nothing that they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. What does eye contact actually matter?

How the interaction between people will go depends on the look. For example, shy people reinforce their insecurity by carefully avoiding eye contact, while self-confident, rude people, on the contrary, look long and intently into the eyes of their interlocutor. With the help of this signaling device, people transmit the necessary information more correctly and efficiently.

The most common interpretation of views is that when communicating, people look at each other about 30-40% of the time. If the contact lasts much less than one third of all communication, this can be expressed in such feelings as guilt, despondency, or corny indicate a lack of attention. In the case when the visual interaction lasts longer, then this may indicate a certain threat.

The length of eye contact depends on who people are to each other. On average, 20 to 40% of the time is spent on standard looks with acquaintances and friends. For lovers, this figure is 2-3 times higher, from 60 to 80%, but professional leaders, due to their high position, in order to strengthen their authority, use eye contact from 80 to 100% of the time of all communication.

Varieties of duration of eye contact.

The classification was proposed by Argyll Cook in 1976.

Eye contact is more common when listening to information.
With the help of a glance, as a rule, a non-verbal message is conveyed. This is something "between the lines" that may not be said, but successfully sent. So, for the actors it is important to convey the further thought to the viewer before it is voiced and indicated with the help of gestures, playing with their eyes.
Of course, the gaze is also responsible for the attitude towards the interlocutor. If communication takes place in a positive atmosphere, people will have more prolonged eye contact, otherwise it will not last long.
The visual interaction is also emphasized by gender differences. Yes exactly! Women tend to make eye contact more often.
In lovers, the pupils dilate as they look at the one who is attractive to them, this is how interest and arousal are expressed.
Cultural differences also have an impact. For example, Italians are more hospitable and friendly, they look at the interlocutor more often than the traditionally restrained English, and the Japanese try to avoid eye contact, preferring the neck area.
A long look often speaks of leadership. The one who looks at the other person for longer usually takes a more dominant position than the one who looks less, which speaks of humility.

Interesting fact: regarding girls, avoiding gaze can speak not only of shyness, but also of coquetry. The representative of the fair sex, as it were, shows her inaccessibility and at the same time attractiveness. Anthropologists even made an interesting conclusion, which is that the shade of flirting, as it were, invites to ritual persecution, that is, further love courtship. This behavior is undoubtedly based on instinct, since blind ladies also resort to avoiding contact, although, it would seem, they cannot absorb it through imitation.

Thus, the gaze can manifest itself for two purposes: as a tool to achieve goals or as a way of intimidation. A person, moving away from visual contact, either expresses social submissiveness by his behavior, or fences off from close communication.

How do you establish effective eye contact?

What view can be called effective for achieving the set goals? Usually, people look at the bridge of the nose or at the point of the third eye located above it. However, according to psychologists, this is not the best option, since it can be regarded as uncomfortable and depressing. Such a gaze is focused, since it is directed only to a specific area, and not to the whole picture. Defocused gaze is more effective.

Don't misunderstand. Both of these views are useful, but they are used depending on whether you need to focus your attention on details or position yourself not as an observer, but primarily as an interlocutor.

Thus, it is better to look at the face out of focus. This contact is relaxed. At the same time, you can track facial expressions on your partner's face, notice his emotions.

Advice: the following zones should be kept in mind - small and large triangles, A4 sheet.

Small triangle

It is the junction of the left and right eyes, as well as the mouth. The effectiveness of considering this area is that the finest facial expressions are captured, for example, you can trace a person's breathing.

Big triangle

The head and shoulders form this area. With the help of it, you can analyze the state of mind of a person through the tilt of the head, the height of the neck and the movement of the shoulders.

A4 sheet

Optimal sphere for creating visual contact. Mentally attach a sheet in front of a person in an upright position, eyes, ornasal cavity, neck and shoulders will enter there.

Typology of views

Formal - responsible for the business atmosphere. Aimed at the forehead.
Secular - promotes the creation of non-stressful communication. Aims below the eyes of the interlocutor
Intimate - expresses the interest of people in each other. It is directed to the neck area, from the chest to the eyes.
Above the glasses - shows a critical evaluating attitude. Such gaze has a negative effect on the interlocutor, who in turn seeks to distance himself from the dialogue, for example, crossing his arms over his chest or crossing his legs.
A sideways view indicates caution, which may be associated with tension and suspicion (in tandem with frowned eyebrows or lowered corners of the lips) or, conversely, with interest (provided that there are slightly raised eyebrows or a smile).
"Empty" - can speak of embarrassment, shyness, bashfulness and indicate not possession of the information necessary in the situation.
"Doggy" - with an admission of guilt, a look from bottom to top may indicate secrecy, treachery, imperceptible peeping.

Now you understand how much a look means. It can open depths you never knew existed!

Want to know more? Read about body language

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Eye contact when communicating with a girl: why does it look away?

Is eye contact important for an effective pickup truck? Yes, and not least because when you approach a girl to make acquaintance, her downcast or shifty eyes immediately betray your insecurity to her. And, in general, she may think that something is wrong with you. It is much better if, when meeting, the girl looks away first. In this article I will tell you why eye contact between a man and a woman is so important.

Making eye contact when communicating

In fact, correct eye contact makes a girl experience strong emotions, often similar even to the feeling of falling in love, and therefore pick-up artists around the world constantly use this technique. Why is this happening? And why isn't it easy for all men to maintain long-term eye contact with a stranger? Read my article "How to hook a girl?" You will learn some techniques to help you with your girls.

The simplest explanation is that a man's direct and open gaze is inherent in a courageous and strong "male", and women feel this on a subconscious level. And therefore, if a guy averts his eyes when in contact with a girl, this already speaks of him not from the best side. A real male is confident in himself, he does what he wants, and is not afraid of anything or anyone. And even more so that he should withstand the gaze of a stranger. And the one who avoids eye contact, hides his gaze, perhaps hides some of his complexes. In general, there can be many reasons for this, including those from the category of psychology, maybe his mother raised him like that or something in his life influenced his self-confidence.

There is another rule in a pickup truck that almost always works. Moreover, both the success of the future seducer and failure depend on him. You can read about it in the article "The Rule of 3 Seconds".

Can you train eye contact?

The concept and characteristics of this term in pick-up artists define this phenomenon as eye contact until the girl looks away. However, if for some reason it is difficult for you to do this, then I can reassure you - this skill can be trained. Moreover, you have to do it if you want to become a successful pick-up artist.

To practice the ability to look eye to eye, it is not even necessary to approach the girl. It is very convenient if you visit public places every day, where many representatives of the opposite sex gather, for example, in a cafe near the university. You just have to look at all the young ladies passing by and try as long as possible not to look away every time.

First contact with a woman

Make eye contact with a woman while speaking in a calm and confident manner. To make it easier, you need to look into one eye - left or right - the girl will not notice this. On the other hand, you will get the impression of not running, but a confident look. At the same time, even if you are a little worried, the girl is unlikely to notice it, because she will experience strong emotions herself.

By the way, such skills will come in handy not only when dealing with the fair sex, but also in other aspects of life, for example, in business when negotiating. If you look a person eye to eye, a more trusting contact is established between you, and therefore it is easier to convince the interlocutor of something.

However, you should not often resort to this technique when communicating informally: otherwise, your interlocutor may be uncomfortable. In any case, you need to control your gaze. In general, it's good to practice in front of a mirror: for some people who are not used to looking calmly eye to eye, this look is even aggressive. And this is clearly not the best option for dating a girl. Is it worth then to rejoice or wonder why the girl immediately looks away.

How to establish proper eye contact?

Often, insecure guys complain, for example, “I look away when the girl is looking,” what should I do? Or they ask what to do if the girl looks away?

I never look away first when I meet a stranger's eyes. It shows my self-confidence, not my arrogance. But if you first look into the eyes, and therefore you stare at her chest and legs, then she can boldly say to you: “What did you hatch?”. And how will you feel at the same time? .. And if you confidently, calmly and interestedly look into her eyes, then you intrigue her and make her worry. She thinks something like this: “He does not hesitate to look at me for so long and frankly, but who is he? Did I really interest him so much? "
Moreover, when in the course of a conversation you carefully look into the eyes of the interlocutor, you demonstrate by this that you are interested in what he is telling you. And as mentioned above, you yourself are better at convincing him of something, because a frank and open look makes him trust you more.

However, not everyone is able to maintain eye contact correctly. I have already said how important it is not to stare at a girl. In addition, you should not start looking at it from afar. Eye contact starts from ten meters, if you walk towards each other, and ends about a meter from the meeting point - you don't have to turn your head. However, if she smiles at you, you can answer her in kind and say something friendly to start an acquaintance. Often this trick also works on public transport. For example, a girl noticed that you were staring at her and caught your eye; in this case, you cannot retreat. Otherwise, if you look away first, then she will feel that she has won and will not look at you again.

If an acquaintance has already taken place, is it necessary to look into her eyes all the time? This is actually not easy, and therefore eye contact usually lasts eight to nine seconds, and for one or two seconds you can shift your gaze a little to the side, but then again - eye to eye.

Why does a girl look away when you stare at her for a long time? Of course, because you won this mini-battle of views, and she is embarrassed or pretends to be embarrassed. But almost always, if you come up and speak after that, she is much less ready to kick you off.

Conclusion

In the end, let's summarize, and here's what you need to remember:

eye contact is important because it demonstrates your confidence.
eye contact is a technique used by pickup artists all over the world, which really works quite often;
if you avert your eyes first, you will hardly be interested in the girl;
but even if you're shy, there are ways to learn to withstand a woman's gaze and make sure eye contact.

If you want to know even more secrets of seducing girls, subscribe to my VK page.

trenyng.ru

Once I asked a friend: "Why did you go on a date with him?" She replied, "He did not look away when I looked at him."

When I think of the lucky people with whom I had the pleasure of communicating at work, I realize that they all maintained constant eye contact while communicating with me. Notice the next time you watch TV, successful and famous people do not lose contact with the interviewer and rarely blink.

You move towards a pretty girl. When will you look at her (I mean her eyes, don't be distracted by other details)? I've tried all the options. If you wait until the last second, then either she no longer looks at you, or very quickly turns away. If we look at each other, and I look away, then she will not look more in my direction. In the end, I tried to look at her incessantly. To my delight, she did not look away. So, I decided on one small experiment.

Not so long ago, I attended conferences for a whole week in a building filled with 20 and 30-year-old educated and successful girls. Some of them were married, some were not, but all, as one, were beauties. Between conferences, I did the following: go up to another floor and stroll leisurely along the corridor. When a girl was moving towards me, I began to look at her without breaking contact. Only a few could not stand it. Most of them, including the cutest, accepted my game. I didn't blink. They didn't blink either. The girls looked away only when we were very close to each other. Then I could relax too. What made me especially happy was that almost every girl passing by smiled. Some even said hello. I smiled or said something only in response, but never first.

The corridors there are quite short. The girls were not more than 10 meters away from me. What would happen if the corridor was longer? When could I start making eye contact? Obviously, I don't want to scare the girl. I look straight ahead, and when 10 meters are left before the meeting, I shift my gaze to her.

I did a similar experiment a couple of times in a shopping mall. Most of the girls didn't look at me at all. Some held their gaze for literally seconds. Only a third were in contact. Half of them were smiling or saying “Hello”. Two or three girls definitely fell for me.

Do you need to be on the move? I tried the same experiment, but sitting down. Almost no one maintained contact. What if a girl is sitting? The results were similar to those I achieved in the hallway of an office building.

If I walked up to two girls and tried to look from one to the other, I lost both. Thus, I concluded that you should focus on one object.

If I smiled or said something before she smiled, the result was disastrous. Only a few responded to my smile. A girl should smile or say something first, only then can she safely react.

If eye contact with the girl is not established, then I usually say "Hello", level with her. In many cases, the beauties smiled happily back.

I also made contact with busy girls when their companions did not look in my direction. Surprisingly, many ladies smiled at me.

In addition, I noticed that the better and sexier I am dressed, the better the result.

Eye contact in bars and similar places is a separate topic altogether. With the right skill, the effect is stunning.

Professionals NEVER stare. They make eye contact. The difference between these things is huge.

Here's how to proceed. Make contact with the girl. Do not blink. Don't look at her girlfriend or boyfriend. Don't let go of her gaze. Remember, you only have one chance. Do not give up. Don't smile. Do not say anything. You give her a glance to understand that she is interested in you. The rest is for the girl.

She muses: “Who is this, he doesn't look away when I look at him. Interesting ... He is different from many others. " The girl understands that if she looks away, then you will be lost to her. There are two options for the development of events. If she decides to lose you, she will break eye contact. If not, then, intrigued by you, she will take the next step.

If she smiles, smile back. If she says hello, say hello. DO NOT say hello. Then reward her by acting.

By the way, you realize that you don't always have to wait for eye contact to take action.

How to meet a girl?
From the first touch to sex. How to give her real pleasure?
What women want, or Emotions in a girl's life
Where is the best place to start learning? Basic pickup training!

www.pickup.ru

Eye contact before meeting a girl

It has long been found out that girls are more willing to meet guys who are confident in their actions. There is a very simple way to test the presence of this very confidence, it is called eye contact. In general, thanks to vision, a person receives most of the information. Many girls declare that they agree on a date only because the guy was looking at her without taking his eyes off. Of course, if you just stare at the girl, and even chase after that, then you can earn the fame of a maniac, but we are talking about the look that after itself suggests an approach.

Okay, the introduction, I think you’ve already learned it, let's move on to some practical advice. A little higher, I talked about confidence, and so, a person who is confident in what he is talking about always looks into the eyes of the interlocutor, as soon as the gaze starts to go away, from that moment the interlocutor can lose any confidence in the opponent. Don't believe me? Then turn on the TV, successful people will conduct a confident dialogue and at the same time, practically without blinking or looking away.

From theory to practice

Now a little advice, today, try, meeting the girl's gaze, not to take it away first, let her do it. If you succeed, you can write down this victory as a personal asset.

Now let's take a closer look at how you need to make eye contact? The basic rule is that if you meet your gaze and take it away first, then the girl may no longer look at you. If you have already begun, then it is worth moving to the end. In order not to frighten the girl, you should start looking into her eyes about ten meters away, before that you can look at the floor or at any other place.

The secret is that the girl you like will not take her eyes off you, and if she does, she will try to return him again, and when she approaches, she will smile or even be the first to say hello. Then everything depends on you, after greeting and starting a conversation, you have a gorgeous opportunity to get to know a girl closely.

By the way, it is not necessary to be in motion for eye contact; only one person, for example, you, can move. This can happen in a store, in a park, but on the street there is more movement, both girls and you.

Having decided to approach several girls and not stopping your gaze on one of them, running your eyes and studying each, you have no chance. You must immediately choose one of several and look only at it.

It should be borne in mind that your smile and attempt to speak can also lead to nowhere. You should only smile after the girl has done it first.

Many experienced people have noticed that the quality of eye contact depends on the appearance of a guy, namely the quality of his clothes. Girls bite on guys who look after themselves, so this moment should always be taken into account.

What comes out of this? For example, while at a party, you should start eye contact with a girl, while completely forget about her friends, certainly do not smile or look away. Such a situation will make it clear to the girl that you are interested in her and at the same time not as simple as everyone else. There are two options for the development of the situation: she decided to lose you and looks away for good; she takes the next step signaling to you. You only have one chance with this girl, take it, friend.

I hope everything is clear, then go in search of the girl you want to ask out on a date.

Magic 4.5 seconds

If you look someone in the eye for about three seconds, this is a normal person scan that everyone does when they meet new people. If you linger for 4.5 seconds, it means that you liked the person. Finally, if you "drilled" someone for 10 seconds or more, he will perceive it as a desire to fight or have sex.

Long-term eye contact generates a powerful emotional response, says Tracy Cox. - It activates the nervous system, raises the heart rate and stimulates the production of certain hormones. So if you want to subtly hint to someone about your intentions - catch his eye and linger a little longer than usual ...

Pause and return

When you scan with your gaze a person who does not ultimately interest you, you no longer return to him, switching your attention to someone else. And the person you scanned is tracking it. Therefore, if you want to make it clear that you are interested, you first need to cross your eyes with a person for 4.5 seconds, then, as if guiltily, lower your eyes, and after 10-15 seconds, look again at the one you sympathize with. If a man is accustomed to active actions, such a small game of peepers will be enough for him to head in your direction.

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Flirt Triangle

When we communicate with people, then, depending on the attitude towards them, we look at different parts of their face and body. For example, in a conversation with an unfamiliar person, we all the time glide over his face, drawing a triangle consisting of eyes and a hump of a nose. With friends or just people who are pleasant to us, we go lower - we look additionally at the tip of the nose and mouth, as if stretching the previous triangle. And if we communicate with those who excite us, then we sink even lower - to the chest and genital area.

If you want to properly captivate a man with yourself, then most of the time you look at his lips, as if wanting to kiss them, says Tracy Cox. “But don't stare into his mouth for too long. Break off periodically to quickly "run" over his eyes and nose. Then go back to the lips again.

Blinking

Our brains regard another person's frequent blinking as a sign that they are looking for someone sexually attractive. This technique can be cleverly manipulated. You start blinking, communicating with a man, he starts blinking in response - and now you are standing and blinking like two idiots, but if you look from the outside, because what is happening between you is real love chemistry. In general, someone like it - "flap your eyelashes and take off", as one well-known group sings.

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However, do not think that a long look without blinking is a manifestation of disinterest. When we are very keen on something, our breath stops, and we stop blinking so as not to miss a single moment of what is happening. Use these two techniques alternately - with and without blinking - to achieve maximum flirting results. The main thing is to try to blink naturally, so that it does not look like a speck has got into your eye or you are just so twitchy by nature.

Wink

This technique is often associated with conspirators who planned, for example, some kind of prank. But if you catch the eye of a man you are interested in at some party, hold it for 4.5 seconds, and then slowly and seductively wink, you can be sure: he will have such a powerful erection that he has not had since the age of 15 ...

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How does eye contact affect our communication?

Eye contact is one of the most powerful energy practices on the planet. People who look each other in the eye experience a deeper connection, better understanding and trust. If you want to know more about a person, just hold your gaze on him longer than usual. You should do the same if you want to know his opinion of you. The eyes of the interlocutor (unlike words) cannot tell a lie. They will give out all his experiences, emotions and feelings.

What is the power of verbal communication?

The practice of exchanging glances, or eye contact, is a non-verbal communication technique. Why, of all kinds of body language, is this one with surprisingly limitless resources? People are social beings. In addition, our actions and ideas are filled with spirituality. Our distant ancestors noticed that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. We just have to agree with this statement. When we look at a stranger with interest, we experience strong emotions and give free rein to fantasy. If we catch the gaze of another person on ourselves, it confuses us and makes us tremble. However, communication is stumped if the interlocutors are unable to make eye contact with each other.

"Gate of the Soul"

This is not prohibited by society. You can look at whoever you want: a stranger, family members, friends and romantic partners (by the way, this is a common practice in tantric sex). As we have already said, the eyes are the mirror of the soul, or, as the English say, “the gate of the soul”. This means that they can be used as a tool for connecting the physical and spiritual world. They help the interlocutors experience brighter visions or touch non-physical aspects (aura).

A gaze changes consciousness

The Italian psychologist Giovanni Caputo conducted an experiment, the basis of which was a child's game of "staring". He discovered that a long gaze directed into the eyes of another person can change consciousness. Without psychotropic aids, 90 percent of the participants saw distorted features in the partner's face. Exactly half of the participants recognized themselves in the person standing opposite. Fifteen percent of the volunteers dreamed of a reflection of their deceased relative in the guise of an experiment partner.

Neural adaptation

One of the explanations for the altered state of consciousness is neural adaptation. The neurons in the human brain can slow down or completely stop the response to constant stimulation. So, when you look at an object, your perception of it can change. If you don’t blink and start keeping your gaze on the object until the “bitter end”, you may be lucky to see the distortion of the object's shape. However, this explanation does not take into account the full depth of human interaction. The eyes convey feelings, they are filled with spiritual content. This is a much more complex mechanism.

How does eye contact affect communication?

Many people are afraid to direct their gaze into the eyes of the interlocutor, especially if the opposite is an unfamiliar person. However, in society, this behavior did not acquire approval. At any psychological training, they tell how important it is to make eye contact with a partner at the first meeting. However, people are not always eager to do this, especially if there is a stranger opposite. A number of aspects can lead to fear: congenital shyness, disrespect for the interlocutor, social stratification or prejudice.

Association game

An interesting experiment was carried out by employees of the University of Kyoto (Japan). The researchers observed a group of volunteers who played an associative game and at the same time faced a choice: to look into the eyes of the interlocutor during their move, or to look away. The participants had to choose associative verbs for different words. For example, the word “knife” can be associated with the verbs “cut” or “stab”. As a result, people experienced the greatest difficulty in making eye contact when they found it difficult to find an association.

Interference when two processes run at the same time

A difficult word confused the participant and at the same time forced him to look away. For example, the word "hand" caused difficulties due to the large choice of associations. Hands can take notes, play, clean something, make a wave, point, greet someone, and so on. On the basis of this experiment, Japanese scientists concluded: “Despite the fact that eye contact and verbal processing are independent actions, people often avert their eyes from their interlocutors during a conversation. This suggests that there are some obstacles between these two processes. "

Why does a person look away?

So, we made sure that a person can ignore the eyes of the interlocutor, not only because he feels dislike or fear. Eye contact is indeed related to the spoken words. Therefore, if someone looks to the side when talking to you, do not rush to get angry. This is not at all rudeness or tactlessness. Probably, at the moment, the opponent's cognitive system is simply overloaded. These findings also explain another behavioral feature. When you gaze into the eyes of another person (such as a romantic partner), you tend to remain silent. Non-verbal communication, in comparison with verbal communication, contains a more powerful force. Indeed, sometimes words are superfluous.

The experience of exchanging glances with a stranger

These are the kind of experiments people conduct in psychological training. Participants sit in a circle and perform the indicated actions. A person sitting on the right hand is usually offered as a partner in the game of "peepers". Having formed pairs, the participants begin to gaze each other intently into the eyes. What do they think at the same time? They did not know the person sitting next to them before the start of the training. Before the start of the psychological experiment, they only managed to exchange a smile on duty. At the first stage of the assignment, their faces remain serious, but after a few minutes the awkwardness of the situation dissipates and a feeling of comfort is created.

Feeling warm and grateful

If the people who have formed a couple are representatives of different genders, there is almost always sympathy between them. At such a moment, you can easily convince yourself that there is a potential chosen one or a chosen one in front of you. An aura appears around the bodies of strangers, they smile at each other and their hearts are filled with warmth. Sometimes at the end of a visual experiment, tears roll down the cheeks of some of the participants. They feel that a person who was once a stranger to them can now become a faithful companion in life. As time passes, experiment partners hug each other in gratitude.

How to get the conversation back on track?

After the games of "peepers" are left behind, the participants begin to talk with each other. Now the psychological and emotional barriers have been broken between them. They can talk about goals in life, about the correctness of the chosen path, they can give each other advice and voice their own thoughts. Now it is easier for them to clothe their true feelings in words. It is impossible to feel a closer emotional connection. Now people who were completely strangers yesterday can easily talk about belief systems, family values and touch on the topic of internal contradictions.

Conclusion

If you are one of the people who find it difficult to make eye contact with strangers, know that you are not alone. Science has found an excuse for your fears. However, don't let discomfort hinder bonding with others.

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Is eye contact important when communicating with a girl?

How important is eye contact in seduction? After all, if you go up to meet a girl and lower your gaze to the floor, or your eyes run, it will immediately betray your insecurity. The girl will think that something is wrong with you.

How important is eye contact?

The correct eye contact will make the girl feel emotional. Including the feeling of being in love.

But why is it often so difficult to look a girl in the eye and not look away?

If a person hides his gaze, avoids eye contact, then this may indicate that he has some kind of complexes. Maybe my mother did not bring up the way a boy should be brought up by a potentially strong man, or there were some negative situations in life that could affect self-confidence.

How to train proper eye contact

At the same time, this man did nothing, he just stood and calmly looked at the girl. Now you understand how important eye contact is.

Now directly about the look eye to eye.