How to calm a girl at hard work. How to calm your girlfriend and return her good mood

13.07.2019

Good afternoon, dear men! Surely many of you fall into a stupor in front of female tears, or you do not understand at all how to calm a girl with words at a distance. We all feel bad sometimes. And at this moment, I really want the beloved person to support, comfort, and maybe even just to be around. Let's try to figure out how a guy can help his girlfriend get through a difficult moment.

What happened?

First of all, try to find out what happened. Before you say anything, calm down or take action, it is best to try to assess the situation. If she is, then think about what could make her angry. Upset, which made her sad. what situation could bring her to tears.

Maybe you are aware of problems at work or school, then it will be clear how to choose the right words and phrases for consolation. Or you see that lately she often quarrels with her best friend, sister, mother or father. Her dog is already very many years old and so on.

Of course, it is not always easy to understand why a woman is upset. Some young ladies may burst into tears due to a broken nail or a torn stocking. For men, such trifles seem completely unworthy of tears and frustration.

And if she tore her pantyhose before an important meeting, where will she have to perform in front of serious clients? And she comes out with a hole in her knee? Would you go out to investors with a bright spot of ketchup on a white shirt? Remember that even a minor nuisance, depending on the situation, can develop into a serious problem.

Therefore, it is so important to try to understand what so annoyed your beloved. If you don't have a single thought, it's okay. There is a more direct way to find out what happened. You need to ask her. Be prepared for the fact that she may answer "nothing." No need to get angry and lose your temper. Be patient and try to find out from her what happened.

Your task is to show that you are not indifferent to her, that you are worried and sympathetic, that her problems do not seem stupid and far-fetched to you, and you are ready to help or simply support her, if necessary.

So ask: How can I help you? So, you can get a clear picture of her problem and what action she expects from you.

Actions

Sometimes when a girl cries, she just needs to be allowed to cry. Or speak up. Give this opportunity to your missus. Let her talk or cry. And at this moment, be attentive, agree, show that you are listening to her and this is important to you.

If she can't calm down for a long time, be sure to bring her a glass of water.

Be calm and don't be nervous. She now needs the reassurance that you are her protection. Therefore, extra fuss on your part can upset her even more.

Consoling by correspondence is not so easy. After all, SMS does not convey your real concern for her. Therefore, if you have the opportunity to call a girl who is now far away, feel free to dial her number. Sometimes hearing a close and dear voice is all that is needed to calm down.

If you are close, then you should definitely hug her, stroke her head, take her hand. Tactile contact at this moment is an extremely important component. With your hug, you seem to protect her from the outside world, show that she is not alone and she has someone to rely on and trust.

Don't forget to talk about your worries and concerns. Show her how dear you are and that you are there, ready to help her.
It will be great if you can make her laugh. Laughter is a great distraction from problems and can significantly improve your mood.

Tell us how you got into such a ridiculous situation, for example, and how everything turned out well in the end. If you are not talking in person, then draw and send her a funny picture that can cheer her up.

If you feel that you cannot cope and cannot find answers to questions that are important to you, we will analyze the situation together and find a way out.

switch attention

When the girl has cried and talked out, try to distract her to something else. Offer to go somewhere, watch (preferably a comedy), just take a walk. Now you need to show her that nothing terrible has happened, life goes on.

If your loved one has long wanted to go for a massage, then you can combine business with pleasure. Just don't overdo it with this method. Some ladies begin to manipulate their mood in order to achieve what they want.

If you have some minor problem today, ask your young lady to help you. Maybe by helping you, she will be distracted and forget about her problems for a while. But do not jump too abruptly into such a request. She may think that you don't care about her difficulties.

What mistakes do guys usually make when trying to calm a girl down?

Some men choose phrases that eventually lead. For example, when the situation seems trifling, he begins to say that she makes an elephant out of a fly, but that the girl, of course, begins to get even more angry and wind up, and as a result, out of reconciliation, they arrange a real one with tears.
Don't change the subject too quickly. Often a guy just gets tired of listening to the same thing several times, and he tries to start another topic, thinking that he can divert the attention of his beloved. No. This is how you show that you do not care about her problems, that she is upset because of trifles that are not worthy of your attention.
There are also men who prefer to ignore altogether. The worst option you can choose. Even if you yourself feel bad now, maybe you are sick, or there is a blockage at work, but if your beloved came in tears, then you simply have to pay attention to her, take care of her and calm her down. Otherwise, why then do we need a relationship, if not to support each other?
One day, a friend told me how her boyfriend started molesting her at the moment when she told him about a terrible quarrel with a friend. Another bad choice. Never start with her while she is upset. Pat on the head, take the hand, hug tightly, but do not let all your gestures be sexual in nature.
Do not say the following phrases: smile; calm down; quiet; stop doing that; calm down; stop crying; do not exaggerate; Well, what happened to you there again; so what; did not understand; let's go faster and so on. Instead, you can say: I am here, near; I'm listening to; say it's important to me; I am very sorry that I am not around now (if you are trying to calm her down from a distance); I understand that it is difficult for you; maybe you want coffee or tea, let me do it and so on.

Sign up for a Skype consultation with me and you will learn much more about yourself, your girlfriend and methods that will help you cope with any situation.

How do you usually comfort your beloved? Which tricks work exactly every time, and which ones don't work at all? Does your girlfriend get upset often?

Be patient and sincere in your sympathy.

Best wishes to you!

Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about how to calm a crying girl. You will learn how to distinguish between true crying and manipulation. You will know what should be the sequence of actions in such a situation. You will learn how to behave when a girl is close and when she is far away.

Sincere tears or a way of manipulation

When a girl throws a tantrum, starts to cry a lot, it is important to decide whether there are really good reasons for this or is it an attempt to manipulate a man.

If the tears are sincere, then the girl will not stop crying after she hears that you are ready to give her something as a consolation. But during manipulation, the young lady can say out loud what she needs in order to console herself.
If a young lady calls the reason for her tears that you don’t love her enough, says that you can prove the opposite if you refuse to go fishing with friends, then this is one hundred percent manipulation.
If tears appear immediately after some controversial issue, most likely, the girl is acting feignedly, trying to make you feel guilty by such an act.

If you notice that the young lady is manipulating, then you must explain to her in a decisive but gentle form that such behavior is unacceptable, that no one will run errands with her. If you don’t calm down, you will be forced to take a break in the relationship or break it off altogether. You need to seriously talk to her only after she calms down and is able to soberly assess the situation.

Sequencing

Take a good look at the current situation. You must understand that there are many reasons that could cause girlish tears. Think about whether you caused her to cry. And is your help at all appropriate? this moment. There is no need to intervene if you yourself are in upset feelings, girlish tears are a manifestation of happiness or crying because of resentment towards you.
Make an attempt to calm the girl, talk, become a good listener if she enters into a dialogue. Do not use phrases like “If I were you…” or “When I got into a similar situation, I acted differently.”
No need to persuade the girl to stop crying. You must understand that tears are a release of emotions, especially if something serious has happened.
Try to share her sadness. Choose the right words: "I'm so sorry that this happened", "I guess that you are in great pain right now", "I'm not surprised that you are so upset", "the problem is really serious".
Use non-verbal techniques. For a girl, eye contact, the correct facial expressions on your face, and the tilt of your head in her direction will be important.
Hug a girl if you know you need to. Take her by the hand or kiss her on the forehead. Assess the need for physical contact by the behavior of the girl, perhaps she is just waiting for this.
Don't try to solve her problem, offer your help. Show your concern for her.

If a girl is near

When a young lady is upset, it is undesirable to behave as follows:

try to cheer up with empty phrases;
hope that after a while she will stop crying;
persistently try to find out the reason for such behavior;
give the girl a sedative.

If there is a girl nearby who has a tantrum, then you need to do the following.

Stroke her on the back, run your hand through her hair, hug and hold her tightly to you. It is important for a girl to feel that there is a person next to her who is not indifferent to what she is going through right now. Such a step will calm you down, make you feel not alone, understand that you are under your protection. But do not press it too hard, so as not to break the ribs.
Show that you care about her. Prepare your favorite drink or just bring a glass of water.
Throw a warm blanket over your beloved girl to make her more comfortable. Of course, if it is a hot season outside the window, then it is better to open the window on the contrary to let in fresh air.
When the young lady comes to her senses, you can gently ask the reason for what happened, but you don’t need to press and strongly beg her. It is strictly forbidden to raise your voice and arrange an interrogation.
Having learned about the cause of what happened, it is necessary to act according to the circumstances.

You can also use another method to calm a crying girl.

Tell her how much you value her, show sincere interest in her problem.
When you find out about the reason for the tears, do not mock and do not belittle its significance in the eyes of the girl, no matter how strange she is. Otherwise, you will only upset her even more.
Ask the girl how you can help her. Say that you will gladly do everything in your power.
Stay with her until she calms down. If she needs to be alone, give her personal space. But do not go far, suddenly she needs your support.
You can try to distract the girl from her feelings by offering to take a walk in the park or go to a cafe. It is very important to ensure that the young lady does not sink into depression.
If you live together, create a cozy atmosphere at home.

If she is far away

When a guy is at a distance from an upset girl, he can try to calm her down with the help of modern technologies, for example, to console her by SMS or write something on a social network, or make a phone call.

You need to kindly take care of her condition. Do not be surprised if the girl shows some aggression. You don't have to respond like that, be patient. Perhaps the young lady is simply angry because you are not next to her now, and you cannot hug her and console her personally. In such a situation, it is important, with the help of your behavior and the right phrases, to show invaluable care, to calm the girl with words.
It is categorically unacceptable to mock the problem of your beloved while talking on the phone, if she bursts into tears - laugh at her tears. After such an act, the girl will no longer contact you.
You can please the young lady with a surprise. This will distract from problems and cheer her up. For example, you can throw a picture of a cute cat on her wall on a social network or write some funny quotes. It will be especially pleasant to receive flowers through a courier service, which will be brought to her right under the door. You can also just make a targeted order at a pizzeria or restaurant. It is important that the girl feels that she is remembered and cared for.
If the girl is upset because of her health problems or may have lost someone close, you need to provide moral support. If possible, come to her to personally support.
It is unacceptable to tell the young lady that she is behaving incorrectly, reacting illogically. This approach will only irritate her.
If, when talking on the phone, you do not know what to say, what words to calm a girl who is crying, then it is better to remain silent. But you don’t need to say a phrase like “Don’t be upset, everything will be fine”. This will only upset her more. The girl will conclude that you are just in a hurry to finish the conversation.
When reassuring a pen pal, it is important to let her know that she can count on your help and support at any moment. Within reason, of course.

In any situation, it is important that the girl receives from the guy a willingness to listen and sympathy. The most effective thing you can offer her is attention and your participation.
Do not forget that tears are just a form of communication, a manifestation of some experiences, problems.
You don't need to take your girlfriend's troubles too personally and start getting depressed along with her. You must be strong and support her.
If you notice that a girl cries too often, and for no apparent reason, most likely this condition may be a symptom of an anxiety disorder, depression, or the presence of a phobia. In this case, it is better to consult a psychologist.
Sometimes a girl needs to be allowed to cry, to throw out her emotions. In this way, he can survive his stress.
No need to fuss and be nervous, worry too much. You must be a support and support for her, therefore you must remain serious and stand firmly on your feet.
No need to coax a girl with gifts or promise to do everything she wants. So, the young lady will understand that with her tears she will be able to get what she wants, and in the future she will often resort to such blackmail.

Question to a psychologist

Hello! I wanted to ask you to help me, I like one girl for 17 years now in the 11th grade! If I briefly called to the cinema I was refused with a reason to prepare for the UNT, today I wrote to her and received an answer that I don’t want to isolate myself well, help me in this situation I would like to support her at this moment, but I don't know how!

Psychologists Answers

Hello Michael.

Supporting the girl you like (and any other person in such a situation) is not at all difficult -

let her know that you are worried about her, confident in her - and do not interfere with her preparations.

Leave it up to her to decide on the meeting - when she can and when she is in the mood (all this can also be told to her).

G.Idrisov

Good answer 6 bad answer 0

Hello, Mikhail! Your desire to support your girlfriend inspires respect in me, in our difficult time it is very important to give support to friends. But I think it will be useful for you to learn how to do it right. Since you are not a psychic (as, indeed, neither I nor any other person), you cannot know what another, even a person close to you, whom you think you know well, needs at the moment. Therefore, there is a simple rule "How to properly support a friend (girlfriend)":

Tell him (her) that you want to provide support, preferably giving reasons why you want to provide this support right now
Ask, in what form this support your friend (girlfriend) would like to accept from you.

Well, when providing this support later, try to provide it exactly in the form in which you were asked to do it, and not push your own. This, believe me, will be appreciated, it will mean that you are interested in your relationship partner and hear him. And if the partner completely refuses to support, also take it normally, in any case, he heard about your desire to support him, and this will be very valuable for him. By providing support in this way, you are acting as a friend. the best way and do not violate the personal boundaries of your friends. All the best and good friends to you, Elena.

Good answer 5 bad answer 1

Hello Michael! Sometimes people do to others what they themselves need! The girl you like - does not reciprocate in fact - do not ignore your feelings, but meet them and realize! This is not bad - not good, this is what is now, not because you are not like that, or, she is not like that. Sometimes it happens that those who want - are looking for opportunities, and those who do not want - are looking for reasons. Understanding yourself better, it will become easier and easier for you to turn to another, just as without talking and not hearing the other, you will not be able to build relationships, because both partners are involved in relationships! You can just ask directly - do you have hope for the possibility of further friendship on her part? (Or how does it sound to you?) And when answering - trust your feelings and sensations in the body - accept what you hear, then directing your energy to the useful and necessary, through your need and your interest! All the best. Sincerely, Ludmila K.

Good answer 3 bad answer 1

The world of the human soul is mysterious and inexplicable, and the world of girls is generally an unsolved mystery. And the more difficult it is to cope with difficult situations that arise in the fair sex, and to calm the girl with words at a distance.

Reasons for bad mood (and more serious problems) incalculable many, and at a certain stage of life, everyone faces them. If something happened to your girlfriend, and you are not around - do not despair and do not give up, because you can help the girl even at a distance.

Thanks to modern technologies and means of communication support a girl in a difficult moment at a distance has become much easier. Do not start communication by finding out the reasons and persistent questions: just “be there” using SMS, calls and chatting in social networks ... Or better, just talk, show concern for her mood, show in your own words that her condition is important to you.

Express concern about her condition in an affectionate form and be prepared to encounter an aggressive reaction from the girl, because aggression is one of the forms of our psyche's response to stimuli. Be tolerant - this is temporary, show tenderness in affectionate expressions and caring phrases.

Do not try to laugh if the girl suddenly bursts into tears! Irony in this case is one of the most inappropriate forms of sympathy, and such a reaction can lead to the fact that a person simply refuses to communicate with you.

Say as many words of comfort as possible: tell me how dear the girl is to you. After all, it is important for everyone to know that he is dear and needed by someone. Remind the girl of some good event in your life, trying to shift her attention to her positive aspects.

If someone turned to you for support in a difficult situation, it means that they trust you, and this already means a lot! Be careful in conversation: do not compare the situation in which the girl found herself with someone else's life experience. Whatever happens to us - our grief, these are only our feelings, sensations and worldview. For us, this is the first experience and everyone copes with it as best they can.

If you find it difficult and do not know what to say - keep silent. Crazy phrases like "everything will be fine", etc. have a dubious effect. Better say that no matter what trouble happened- You can always count on you, and you will definitely be there (if not physically, then at least morally).

In no case do not play with the manifestation of your emotions. Hypersitting or excessive obsession is perfectly visible, especially if the person has known you for a long time. Be yourself, and if you are confused - admit it honestly and do not allow yourself to remain in this state.

Girls are more allowed to dissolve nurses, because psychologically they are more emotional and perceive stronger than men. Stay in touch with the girl, try to protect her from bad thoughts by paying attention to the good things that happened in life and speed up your personal meeting.

When one of our friends is sad, we have an understandable desire to cheer her up; but sometimes it can be quite difficult to do it right, so as not to inadvertently offend and spoil her mood even more. Much depends on the degree of your friendly intimacy and, in fact, on the cause of her sadness. For example, if you yourself ruined her mood (perhaps you had a fight, and only then you realized that you were wrong), then you will have to make more efforts to cheer up your friend.

There may, of course, be other reasons, and there may be many. A recent divorce that your friend had to endure, the news of a serious illness or the death of a loved one... Of course, when your best friend is upset, it can be very painful for you. Regardless of the reason, if you show patience and understanding, you can quickly find a way to cheer up a girl. We are also ready to offer several ways in which you can help a friend through difficult times, feeling the warmth of your shoulder. And we will consider different situations.

How to cheer up a friend when she is upset about something

Let's say you feel that your beloved friend is sad, but you don't see the obvious reason. Or maybe you just don't know about it. What can be done in this situation?

Ask her why her mood has changed.
Just try to ask the question in such a way that she feels your concern; insincere words or a patronizing tone will upset her even more. Listen to the answer without interrupting, even if at that moment you yourself become the object of her criticism (if it was you who hurt her with some act or careless words). Resist the temptation to parry her attacks or get defensive. Regardless of the reason for her sadness, it is very important to become a good listener. Thus, you will show your friend your special attitude towards her, your desire to understand and help.
Offer the girl your support
Let a friend know that she can count on you, even if she is not yet ready to ask you for it.
Give her the opportunity to be inside her “shell” if she does not want to talk about what happened yet.
Stop asking her questions and just try to distract her from sad thoughts. You can’t climb into a person’s soul if he doesn’t want to let you in there.
Show that you sympathize with her condition
It doesn't matter how you do it - in words or deeds - the main thing is that your friend sees your empathy. The trouble is that one of the most natural reactions of people to the bad mood of loved ones is to pretend to be emotionally deaf or even try to defend themselves by taking up a deaf defense. Don't give in to this temptation. Your girlfriend's anger or displeasure may not be directed against you at all. Instead, tell her, “I know you've had a hard day and you seem to be too tired. Is there anything I could do for you?" Or: “I feel that you are angry. Tell me what's going on?
If a girl wants to tell you about something that upset her, then listen carefully to her
This is the best thing you can do for your girlfriend at first when she is upset about something. Let her pour out her soul, take some of the burden off her. Don't try to give advice right away. If you're not sure, feel free to ask your friend if she just wants to talk, or if she wants to know your opinion.
Do something for your friend that she loves
This will be good not only for the obvious reason - because it will help reduce the sadness of your beloved friend - but also help to show your sympathy and love for her if the friend does not yet want to talk about what is depressing her. And sometimes it can help to find out what happened after all.
Give her something of yourself, share something meaningful
It doesn't have to be something tangible; it could be the time you take out of your busy schedule to meet and talk with an upset girl, or a change of plans for the weekend when you drop everything and drive to your friend's place to get her to the movies or a coffee shop. When you sacrifice something for her that you would not do in another situation, it will tell your friend about your willingness to help her. That way she won't feel too lonely.
Invite a friend to do some urgent important business for her, for which she currently does not have the strength or mood
Of course, you cannot solve all her problems for her, but you can help solve one issue from her list. You can run for a friend to the store, wash the dishes for her or pay her bills. Often what worries a person - lack of time for household chores or difficulties at work - is an additional source of tension for him. If you know what is oppressing your friend, offer her your help. By helping her, you can greatly improve her mood. Even if she refuses your help, the fact that you care for her will support her spirit.
Take some time to distract your friend from dark thoughts.
Suggest that she go for a walk. Sometimes a simple walk in the park can cheer you up. Talk about something you enjoy, such as reminiscing about the fun adventures you had together. Sit in a cafe while trying delicious cakes. Who better than you to know that we girls are able to get into a good mood with just the sight of sweets! Perhaps this is the easiest and most pleasant way to cheer up a girl.
Call on all your humor
Try to play a joke on yourself if it is appropriate during the conversation. Such jokes can not only amuse both of you, but also make you more accessible in the eyes of the interlocutor. It will be easier for her to confide in you if she wants to talk. So sneer at yourself - what you won’t do for the sake of your beloved friend!
You can also watch a good comedy together. Watching the funny adventures of the heroes, the girl will be distracted from her own sad thoughts. Watching an evening of humor on TV will also be very helpful. In general, try to make your girlfriend start smiling. Our brain is used to associate certain actions with their corresponding emotions, and if you smile, the brain will give the command: “Be happy!” You can improve your mood just by smiling, even to yourself.
Use humor, jokes, anecdotes, but just make sure your choice is correct. If you start joking too early and out of place, you run the risk of appearing insensitive. However, if you know your girlfriend well, then you can always make her laugh.
Listen to music together
No other form of art is able to influence our subconscious mind like music. Just don't include songs that are sad and capable of evoking sad emotions: your mood will "follow" the music. A sad song will make your friend feel even worse, while a happy song will make you forget your worries, at least for a while.
Involve a friend in a pet game, yours or hers
Animals usually feel the mood of the owners, and if a friend is sad, then her pet is probably huddled in a corner. Get your pet excited, involve him in the game - and your girlfriend, of course, too. Kiss and hug the animal - the smallest sign of love from a cute little creature can turn your cloudy day into the warmest and sunniest.
Give a friend a small gift that has not so much practical as emotional value.
Create a mix of the girl's favorite songs, for example, and burn them to a disc. Bring her her favorite flowers. Buy her a DVD of her favorite movie. You can come up with many such cute little things with which you will be able to please your beloved girlfriend.

How to cheer up a girl on the phone

Sometimes talking on the phone is all it takes to cheer up a girl. Of course, if she's in a really bad mood, she might not want to pick up the phone. Then we remember the above recommendations and fly to her home. And if she answered the phone, but didn’t show much desire to talk, then after a few minutes of your “speeches” (necessarily in optimistic tones!) she will cheer up and even thank you for your perseverance.

Talk to a friend with a smile in your voice
Smile when you talk to her because it will reflect on your intonation and it will help improve her mood. A smile will radiate your kindness, which will show that you want to take care of her. It's always nice to know that someone cares about you!
You can ask her about the reason for the bad mood; but don't feel rejected if she doesn't want to talk about it
Usually girls want to express their feelings and experiences, especially if what hurt her soul happened recently. But if your friend is secretive, then you should not invade her personal space, trying to call her to frankness.
If a friend, on the contrary, is too immersed in the experience of trouble, gently move the conversation to some fun topic.
Take her mind off her worries and make her laugh. Come up with a funny story that supposedly happened to you, or tell about a funny trick your child or pet has done. This will help you cheer her up.
Again, invite her to get out of the house and go somewhere together
It would be best to spend time somehow fun - with eating ice cream in a nearby cafe or dancing with friends at someone's party.

How to cheer up a girl with low self-esteem

No matter for what reason your acquaintance or girlfriend feels insecure in life, often being in a bad mood because of this, it is in your power to teach her to be happy. Show her that every girl deserves to be appreciated. Give her a self-esteem boost by keeping her motivated and she'll stop feeling sad and frowning. Here is what you can do for her:

Start the day with an unexpected surprise
Greet her with a joyful and friendly mobile phone message. Send a smiley face or some cute picture by email. Bring her colorful balloons. There can be many ideas!
Talk to her in private, using upbeat, energetic tones.
If this is your co-worker or classmate, then praise her for a job well done or for her attractive appearance. Ask how things are going and give her the opportunity to express her concern. Help her feel more confident, it will definitely improve her mood.
If this is your close friend, help her identify her best and greatest strengths.
Make a big collage together, pasting pictures that represent her best qualities. Add your own contribution to this collage by pointing out the character traits that your friend does not notice in herself. Illustrate all her good deeds and all that she does for other people. Hang this collage in her room - it's guaranteed to cheer her up. And also self-esteem!

Every girl's life has its ups and downs. Whether it happens because of major life changes, or because of a personal tragedy, or it's just minor reasons for frustration, there are times when she needs support, communication and friendly warmth. All that is required of you at this moment is just to let her know that you will do everything necessary to cheer her up. And then someone will come to your aid, too, if your mood falls "below the plinth"!