Necessary rules for communicating with a man. Communication between men and women - what is the difference

24.07.2019

Incredible facts

The classic communication gap between men and women has long been known. It is more discussion-oriented, it is action-oriented. One of the reasons for these differences is due to the way relationships develop during childhood.

Girls' friendships are about bonding, with discussion and communication playing a vital role in this process. Sharing experience secrets, identifying problems and finding solutions are key moments in girls' development and friendship. Boys have a slightly different approach to friendship. Their camaraderie is just as deep, it's just different. Male friendships are more focused on working together than talking.

This difference in childhood also leads to the development of corresponding differences in adulthood. Women communicate through dialogue, discussing their emotions and problems. Men remain action-oriented, the goal of their communication is to achieve something.

Studies show that the trends presented below are common in communication between men and women, but this is not an absolute separation of the sexes.

10. Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication includes various body languages, while women are more active in this case.

They have a lot written on their faces, and their hands often do not know peace and constantly touch something. Men, on the other hand, are more conservative in this matter, but they do not so clearly demonstrate their emotions.

So how does non-verbal communication affect communication between men and women? The actions of women are aimed at maintaining relationships: this is providing attention to their person and "reward for participation."

The intentions of men, however, depend on the goal. Do you want to show your superiority in something? Use your body for this. Want to stay calm and avoid emotional escalation? In this case, non-verbal communication should not be given any role at all: the expression on the face should be calm and impassive.

9. Attention to body position

Please note that when several women get together, for example, in a room, their chairs will be turned towards each other, and they constantly look into each other's eyes. If you look at the same group of men, you can see that they will sit at an angle to each other, during most of the discussion, their eyes will wander around the room, while they will occasionally glance at each other. Every company uses a conversation style that is comfortable for them, but when there are both men and women in the company, some problems can arise.

One of the important aspects of non-verbal communication is the obligatory attention to the existing characteristics of the opposite sex. If a man does not look in the eyes, or at least at the face of the woman's interlocutor, then she, who perceives the conversation as an integral part of the relationship, can interpret this fact as a lack of interest.

In doing so, he may become annoyed that she rejects his efforts, since for a man a relaxed body position actually helps him to concentrate. Huge differences in "physical appearance" can make it difficult for people of the opposite sex to talk.

8. Arguments and controversy

Women often try to express their opinion by asking different types of questions: bold, informational, or rhetorical. In fact, the questions are intended to gather information or to argue with opposition opinions.

That being said, men's questions are usually simple and straightforward. They are so simple, unlike women's questions, that sometimes a man does not even immediately understand that a conflict is taking place.

When, finally, both parties understand that they do not agree with each other in something, their communication style in this case has a huge impact. The man is busy proving his innocence and is less concerned about other people's feelings.

This is perceived as a lack of compassion and upsetting women. Men do not like questions, interpreting them as censure, therefore they react to them with emotional closeness. This pattern of behavior causes women to behave more and more suspiciously and cautiously.

7. Apologies

Men and women interpret apologies differently. Women use excuses to try to create or maintain a bond.

Men, on the other hand, are worried about what an apology can do: it can demean them to some extent, which most of them fear from childhood.

After a fight between a man and a woman, gender differences can significantly prolong negative feelings. If a man avoids apologizing for fear of losing his authority, the woman views the behavior as insensitive, and thus the fight continues.

6. Compliments

If an apology doesn't work, maybe a compliment will help settle things. This is also not the easiest way.

From a young age, women learn to give compliments, for them it is almost a reflective activity. Compliments are one way to connect with each other. Men are more likely to evaluate something, rather than give compliments, moreover, they do not look for compliments at all in order to avoid criticism once again.

To be sure, these different approaches to compliments complicate communication between the sexes in some way. If a woman asks a question with the hope of receiving praise or compliment in return, then the man is likely to take it as a reason to advise something.

This indirectly affects the man's awareness of his own strength, since the giver of advice is automatically promoted to a higher position in comparison with the woman.

5. Problem solving

It's time to change the car. He offers lightly maintained as cars depreciate quickly. She says she wants to ask her friends how they feel about their cars. He wants to look at reviews on the Internet about a particular car brand, she is worried about paying for the vehicle. He suggests contacting several dealers, she tells the story of her first car, and how interesting it was.

Moreover, even if there is a mutual desire to solve the problem, such differences can lead to both frustration. Men do not understand why women are reluctant to solve problems, and why they are ungrateful after receiving help. Women, on the other hand, suffer from ignoring their emotions.

4. Stick to your position

Men and women try to get what they want in completely different ways, which can make it difficult to reach consensus.

Women tend to do this during casual conversation by asking questions. Their goal is to get others to answer in the affirmative to this or that question. Men, on the other hand, often interpret this approach as manipulation, because they do not offer something to achieve their goals, but assert. Their path is straight and fast.

If that doesn't help, then they quickly leave the discussion, while remaining either angry or less obsessed with the subject of the discussion.

Thus, these kinds of discussions often do not go smoothly. Men remain resentful, believing that women are trying to deceive them. At the same time, if a man does not show an active desire to participate in a conversation, women feel disadvantaged.

3. Chatterboxes

Who speaks more: man or woman? Consider all communication during the day, both with family and with friends, and with colleagues and with partners.

Do you think women are more chatty? This is not entirely true. Research shows that there is no significant difference between men and women in the volume of conversations, although men tend to use more words during conversation. The main difference begins to emerge when it comes to the essence of conversations.

Women spend more time talking to family members and close friends, expressing support and discussing past events. Men, on the other hand, are more inclined to speak at work, in formal settings, and the purpose of their conversation, as a rule, is to exchange information, even in conversation with a friend.

At home, women talk more, and they are often outraged by the slow reaction of their partner. Women are trying to improve their relationships, men, at the same time, do not see the need for a conversation if there are no specific problems that need to be addressed.

2. The "art" of interrupting each other

Most people don't like to be interrupted, but most people rarely or often do it themselves. Women interrupt men in order to show concern in a certain situation, while they believe that men interrupt only in order to disrupt the conversation or get away from the conversation. Men, interrupting a woman, try to keep the conversation under control.

Frequent interruptions, regardless of cause or purpose, can lead to misunderstandings. This can lead to anger on both sides, and if the guilty party gains control of the conversation, the discussion will stall.

1. Email

Email is convenient and fast, but when abused, it can be annoying and can be perceived as overkill. A 2009 study found that around 1.4 billion people worldwide use email every day, sending about 247 billion messages daily. Due to the sheer volume of messages, it is not surprising that most of them are conversational in nature.

Most of the emails women send revolve around relationships: looking for support, offering solutions to problems, apologizing, asking questions, or giving thanks. Male email messages are very different. In addition to often portraying themselves as experts, they have a more controversial interaction style, often using sarcasm, profanity, and insults. Men can also seek information from other people through email, but they also seek to find influence and respect.

Yet communications, be they non-verbal, verbal or computerized, are open to interpretation. This is especially true when a man and a woman are able to objectively evaluate each other.

Male psychology is such that they love with their eyes. Who doesn’t like it when a beautiful woman is nearby who causes admiring glances from other men? It is pleasant, it raises his self-esteem not only in his own, but also in the eyes of colleagues, friends and just passers-by. But is only a brilliant appearance enough to conquer the man of your dreams? Of course not. To do this, you also need to know the psychology of male behavior, which, by the way, contrary to popular belief, is no simpler than the mysterious female one.

Which women are attracted to men

Beauty is a loose concept. Men have different tastes. Adjusting to the parameters of models or conducting a survey among men is stupid and ineffective. Each of them has its own type, subconscious or conscious. In general, a beautiful woman is one who feels herself to her. She also spreads the vibes of attractiveness around herself.

For some reason, we are convinced that the secrets of seduction, like the psychology of men, are simple. As soon as they see long legs, thin waist, large breasts, they immediately lose their head. Therefore, we exhaust ourselves with grueling workouts, diet, change the shape of our breasts to the detriment of our health, spend a lot of money on visiting fitness clubs and salons. Meanwhile, American psychologists have found that men are important not so much the volume as the proportions of the figure. And half of the stronger sex does not pay attention to such a factor as weight at all. Therefore, it is enough to maintain a figure, monitor its fit, performing simple physical exercises or doing the necessary procedures.

Excessiveness should be avoided. Aggressive vamp-style makeup and very long sharp nails are not for everybody. To know exactly how to win a man's heart, such subtleties need to be tactfully figured out during a conversation with him. This must be done before a radical change in your image. Male psychology allows for less desperate experiments with female appearance: men love variety, and novelty only spurs their interest in women.

Women's sexuality through the eyes of men

Women's sexuality is an important, if not one of the main factors in a woman's attractiveness in the eyes of a partner. And the most interesting thing is that the psychology of a man's behavior in this matter has not changed for many hundreds of years! There are no non-sexual women for them! But among us there are those who have not yet discovered it in themselves or have not developed it to a sufficient extent. Therefore, all the cards are in our hands!

A sexy woman drives a man crazy, and one of the main manifestations of his feelings for her is that he wants her. The rule of the golden mean plays here: it is necessary to develop female wisdom, insight, in order to distinguish sincere desires from a simple instinct, as well as to distinguish a womanizer from a connoisseur of women.

The development of sexuality in a woman is a field for fantasy, even a whole art. Everything from manners, behavior, voice to clothes and accessories can be sexy. When developing sex appeal, it is important not to be vulgar, overly open, otherwise this will only alienate men. Many of us are unaware of this when trying to seduce a partner, trying to obsessively demonstrate to him all the charms of our figure.

Only tenderness, gentleness, along with the awareness of their beauty, feminine strength create a unique sexual aura. By adding a little mystery, mystery, understatement, we can turn the head of any man we like. Isn't that wonderful?

The same goes for sexuality in clothing. Many girls naively believe that the less of her (clothes), the better. Studies show that the sexiest clothing for men is a tight blouse, heels, and a long, not short, slit skirt. After all, the psychology of men is based on ancient hunting instincts! The excitement in them awakens what is inaccessible, and not what itself goes into his hands.

The statement that a man wants to see a passionate lioness in bed is also not always true. Everyone has different temperaments and tastes. It is important to approach each other, and for this you need to be attentive, gentle, affectionate in bed with your beloved. Understanding the depth of his emotions and desires, the ability to generously give his love is more important than knowing the different poses from the Kama Sutra. The atmosphere in the bedroom largely depends on the woman. Negative emotions should not be present there, it should be a place for relaxation, love.

Sometimes it seems to us that a man only needs sex, and emotions do not bother him. But we also often want only sex! In this respect, the psychology of men and women is equal. Why then expect from him constant romance, declarations of love? After all, sex itself is such a recognition! If this is not the case for some of the women, and she shares sex and love, then she should work on herself in order to further reveal her sexuality, to love everything connected with this.

The roots of this attitude can, of course, go back to childhood and adolescence, when we were taught that sex is something dirty, shameful, unworthy of decent women. It is important for each of us to understand that this is a misconception. Sex is natural and beautiful, it is the opening of one's embrace of love for oneself and love for men, it is a pleasure incomparable with any other. Why should we deprive ourselves of pleasure?

Mother woman: is it good

The psychology of a man and communication with him are not such simple things. Some ladies practice a condescending, motherly attitude towards the opposite sex. Caring for a man is very good. Many of them need warmth and affection. Enveloping a spouse with such warmth, usually a woman, as the keeper of the hearth, the hostess, begins to involuntarily take an interest in the fact that the man is well fed and well dressed. To some extent, this is pleasant for both the man and the woman.

However, maternal feelings should be dosed, and certainly they should not be in excess. Otherwise, they can drown out the passion between spouses, limiting their relationship to everyday life. But female and male psychology implies a marriage union, first of all, as the union of two halves of one whole. And then everything else. This is the secret of this aspect of the relationship.

A bad sign is that a man is too much in need of maternal care and is looking for a woman who could replace his mother. This speaks of his infantilism and lack of independence. Such a man is hardly ripe for family life and responsibility for his actions, which is very important in a relationship.

Inspiration for men

It is said that all wars in this world started over women. Yes, it is a woman who possesses the energy that can direct the power of a real man both in a constructive and a destructive direction. And even if in our time duels are not performed for the sake of women, everything that a man does, he does it, in fact, for her sake. And in this regard, it is important for him that his works and achievements are appreciated by his woman. This inspires a man to do even greater things.

Who among us girls doesn't like good gifts, travel, beautiful clothes, jewelry and perfume? It turns out that the fact that we have all this (or do not have) also largely depends on ourselves. Even if you work, the main earner is, more often than not, your partner, and this is his main purpose ever since he hunted a mammoth, and his companion sat in a cave, preparing food and raising children.

Any guy is incredibly pleased to achieve something and see the admiring eyes of his woman, enthusiastic about what he is doing. One important secret here is her praise. Although men are considered or look thick-skinned for the most part, they all love to be praised. The main thing is to do it sincerely and not to be fawning.

Here, too, you need to know when to stop, because no person wants to be expected only ideal actions. It is also important for a man to be accepted as he is, and somewhere completely earthly person who also has the right to make mistakes. Better to constructively criticize or express words of support than to tell him all the time that he is a superhero. It is important that there is no negative, and everything is done with love.

Sacrifice in relationships

The psychology of men is such that when we go to great lengths to keep a partner, it has a completely opposite effect. Forgiving everything, understanding everything, agreeing with everything and responding with love to his boorish attitude - this humiliates the dignity of a woman. And at the same time, he humiliates the man, next to whom such a woman is. Patience and sacrifice are from a completely different fairy tale, they are useless in relationships. The secret is simple: as much as we respect and love ourselves, so does the man. Because a woman who knows her own worth will not allow a bad attitude towards herself. Such ladies, as a rule, are very popular with the opposite sex.

If we consider the secret of seducing men to be completely submissive and allow us to wipe our feet, we are making a big mistake. Perhaps such behavior will be able to bind someone (there are a lot of such examples), but who? Will he look like a real man that every woman needs? Do we want this attitude towards ourselves? After all, it can only be a man with many complexes, low self-esteem, most often hating women and trying to assert himself at the expense of their humiliation.

Such a relationship must be terminated. Anything that causes discomfort does not deserve our time, our nerves, our life. Yes, you can try to help a man if he wants help and appreciates it. If he himself does not want to change anything, then you should not humiliate yourself. After all, this is how we miss the chance to meet another, someone who will sincerely love us! At the same time, we spoil our nervous system, we ourselves become overgrown with complexes. As a result, such a wonderful life passes by. You need to strive for the best, then love will find you by itself!

Expecting respect and understanding from a man, while trying to respect and understand him - this is natural, right. In such a relationship, a woman can unfold like a beautiful flower. And he will be happy with this, and become a real man. Knowing the psychology of communication with the stronger sex, we will thereby be able to create our own, unique, inimitable.

The language of men

Oddly enough, but even when a man and a woman use the same dialect in life, they still speak different languages. According to linguistic researchers, in time immemorial, both sexes were well aware of this. As a result, we understood each other well. However, later both those and others either forgot about the linguistic differences, or ceased to reckon with them.

This situation is not observed everywhere today. In Japan, the language difference is provided not only by grammatical rules, but also by the requirements of etiquette. However, it's not just about declensions, pronouns, endings, prefixes and suffixes. The point is, first of all, that men and women express their opinions and experiences in different ways. It is easy to verify this. It is enough to ask a boy and a girl to retell a fairy tale. The “girlish” and “boyish” version will be immediately distinguished. Their psychology, even in childhood, is already different!

Maybe this is laid at an early age, because we bring up our children in accordance with their gender. But it is also likely that the roots of the differences are in the characteristics of the psyche and genetic memory.

If male and female languages were taught in school sex education classes, many conflicts between men and women could be avoided, because it would be much easier to understand a man. But alas, in such lessons now they teach anything, even virtuoso sex, but not the skill of communicating with the opposite sex.

As a result, each person comprehends the science of such communication independently by trial, error and stuffing cones. Yes, it’s also good if he wants to comprehend, otherwise, no, he doesn’t want to! Comes all his life on the same rake. And then, when trampling on a rake gets bored, or closes in, or begins to negatively relate to all, without exception, representatives of the opposite sex. They are all so cute, so there can be no mutual understanding!

If for men the main thing is external action, then for women it is the inner world of emotions. So how then can we express our thoughts and feelings in the same way? As he ponders how to prevent a world upheaval, she puzzles over what to cook for dinner; he thinks about the consequences of the revolution in some country, she is looking for options to lose weight; he was puzzled by the global crisis, she wanted a new fur coat. Women think more narrowly and concretely than men. Men may not notice scattered socks, dirty cups, cobwebs in the corner; women see all this at once, without straining their attention. And at the same time they already know what to do with such an outrage.

Conclusion: if the mind does not understand us, then it is impossible for men and women to project their own worldview onto each other. These are views of reality from different angles, coinciding only at some points.

Psychologically, we are dissimilar, so you should not be disappointed, mistaking this dissimilarity for an unwillingness to understand and build a fruitful relationship. It is better to take into account that men are not like us, and adjust your behavior accordingly. And as long as male psychology remains a mystery to you, you simply will not be able to understand him, with all your desire. Let's see how it looks like.

Men's phrases: how to relate to them

We are all great inventors and tend to conjecture almost every line that our loved ones have thrown. For example, he came back from work in a bad mood, had supper, gloomily said: "I'm tired!" and collapsed on the sofa in front of the TV. While he thoughtlessly switches channels, a whole armada of disturbing thoughts rushes through our head like a whirlwind that he has problems at work or has a mistress.

And we also perceive the phrase "I'm tired!" like the fact that he is tired of us. After all, we have gained almost a kilogram over the past six months and have not cooked borscht for a long time.

Men are straightforward. They themselves do not know how to hint, and do not understand hints. It is we women who can circle around the bush, come in from afar, express ourselves ambiguously. And then be offended that they did not take us the way we should, did not guess the request and did not satisfy our desires. And to sort things out with her husband, frightened from the unexpected attack. After all, he didn’t even suspect that when we asked: “I recovered a little, dear?”, We meant that the figure was perfectly preserved! And he suddenly threw a sharp: "Yes!"

You should not try with all your might to pull information out of a man. We constantly pester them with the question of what you have at work, where you were, we expect from them confirmation of feelings and assurances of their own attractiveness. In response, we get indifferent: "Everything is in order", "I went on business", "I love you", "You look great."

For some unknown reason, the bulk of women suspect their faithful of excessive secrecy. They never tell the truth, they hide even the little things and, probably, pretend to be at every step. We are trying to expose them, bring them to clean water and force them to behave sincerely. Men become nervous and angry, thereby increasing our suspicion. Still would! After all, if he freaks out, it means he touched a quicksilver, and he is definitely to blame for something!

Now let's imagine the following situation. A buyer in a department store pestered the seller with a request to sell him a sausage. The seller is surprised to say that they have no sausages for sale. The visitor does not calm down and continues to insist on his own: sell him a pound of amateur sausage, period! And she does not want to believe that she is simply not here. As a result, how will the seller begin to react to his persistence? Right. In the end, he will lose his temper and show the bore where the exit is.

Something like this looks like our attempts to convict a man of insincerity when he has nothing to hide. What kind of reaction can be expected from someone who is insulted with mistrust? Well, men do not know how to discuss every little thing, because they do not notice the little things! They do not understand why it is necessary to ardently confess love every hour, if this ardent confession has already sounded. Still, it’s clear, why repeat something 100 times?

Women, of course, like to listen to the phrase "I love you", and they are ready to listen to it again. However, men pronounce it from the bottom of their hearts only in moments of elation. If we demand recognition several times a day, they simply give in so as not to provoke a spouse into a scandal. This alone is proof of male love. In the absence of love, would a husband strive to preserve peace in the family?

And since he loves, it means that extra pounds do not spoil us, and we will not hear about troubles at work once again. And what matters he decided when he was absent, we do not know. Because a loving man will not upset his woman once again and will try to cope with all the issues on his own - this is the psychology of a real knight.

From the point of view of men, a woman should not be aware of their problems. Does she interfere in the affairs of her husband? It turns out that he does not believe in his male viability. Only a weak-willed infantile hubby will put up with this, who is just waiting for the wife to take the decision of all issues upon herself.

If we cannot understand a man with our mind, we will act according to worldly wisdom. He stopped giving compliments, confessing his love, unshaven sprawled on the couch and scratching his growing tummy? The spouse should be happy. Because she is the only one whom her husband completely trusts, with whom he is really good. Otherwise, I would not lie here, but wander somewhere in search of adventure. Or mistresses.

He calls yellow yellow and blue blue. This we can define yellow as the color of young dandelions, and replace blue with the color of the endless sea. Men will not confuse a precise definition with emotion. They save their internal reserves, their time. Do not worry about this, because we all mean the same thing. Let's try to understand our beloved without unnecessary words, paying more attention to his actions. They will tell about feelings better than beautiful phrases.

Typical female mistakes

What a pity that the science of communication with the opposite sex is not taught at school - there would be much more benefit than from geometry or astronomy. So what do we women most often do wrong?

Rejoicing in men's mistakes

For some reason, it is believed that being a bitch is very cool. A sort of Amazon with a bunch of male skulls impaled on a spear. As soon as a man does something wrong, makes mistakes or fails, she reacts like this: “Well? I told you! Always you ... ". And further in the text. Of course, a man at this moment feels humiliated and insulted. If he still has the strength, he will be aggressive towards the lady who behaves this way with him. If not, then he, most likely, will shrink all over, pull his head into his shoulders, come to terms with the idea of his complete failure. Why would you see such a semblance of a man next to you?

We require

Each person is a separate world. Women very often forget about this, perceiving themselves and their partner as a whole. And if so, then you must have common dreams, desires and aspirations. Accordingly, when this picture does not work, the woman begins to be indignant, stomp her feet and hysterically demand what, in her opinion, is justly due to her. Attention, care, spending time together, a magnificent wedding, a fur coat, finally. And from the male side it looks like: "I do everything for her, but she is not enough." As a result, the man gets tired of the insatiable demands of his partner and disappears over the horizon.

Inducing guilt

This error is a continuation of the previous one. When a woman’s demands become higher, a man doesn’t leave immediately. First, he begins to resent this behavior of his partner, then yells at her. It was at this very moment that some women, instead of saying: "Damn, in my opinion, I have gone too far!", - begin to cry haunted. Naturally, while throwing tortured glances in the direction of the "unlucky" male. He becomes ashamed, although he himself does not fully realize why. So, the feeling of guilt becomes a habitual companion of communication between a man and a woman. How long do you think they want to stay in this state?

Intrusiveness

This is an unpleasant character trait that many women possess. It is expressed in different actions. For example, some are capable of wrecking a man's brain with a lot of questions per minute. Others will never leave the unhappy partner until he does the necessary. Still others will insist on spending time together twenty-four hours a day. In all this, the man will feel very uncomfortable. Women are trying so hard to cope with their anxiety, inability to wait, that it sometimes comes out to them sideways.

We behave like a man

One of the biggest mistakes a woman makes is when she becomes a "man." This manifests itself in absolutely everything. For example, in communication, a woman becomes aggressive, tough, assertive, rational and pragmatic. Gestures, demeanor also change: gait becomes sweeping, postures - cheeky, gestures - quick and sharp. A woman lacks gracefulness, smoothness of movement. She swears, smokes, drinks strong alcohol. Of course, he is proud of himself because he does not behave "like all these women." However, in dealing with the opposite sex, such traits are unlikely to serve her well. Perhaps she will have many friends, but not a single normal man wants to build a relationship with a creature like himself.

The art of communicating with a man

We think you understand how, as a woman, you should not behave with your partner. But which line of conduct would be correct? Let's try to summarize everything we know. Any relationship is based on balance. How much you take, so much must be given, and vice versa. If this does not happen, then a failure occurs. Men and women give energy in different ways. The first achieve something, conquer, protect, decide, and the fairer sex - support, console, gently care.

How is it shown? Do not get tired of complimenting a man, admiring his actions. You would be very surprised if you learned the hard way how sad life was without male energy. Therefore, any little things in his behavior are worthy of support, be it a nail hammered into the wall or a sports Mercedes presented for his birthday. A man is a mirror of female love, if a woman believes and loves him, then he will not become a failure, and there will always be feelings between them.

You need to respect your partner - this applies to both sexes. Respect manifests itself in both inner feelings and outer actions. Don't tell your girlfriends how bad your man is. You can't laugh at him in public. Give him the opportunity to make decisions about you two. You should not go to him with "valuable" comments, even if you know exactly how it will be better, more effective. Respect extends to interests, hobbies, activities. Even if you don't like your partner's hobbies, you should still consider them worthy.

Surround your man with care and affection. At the supermarket, remember what kind of chocolate he likes and treat him to them at the next meeting. If you live together, you can offer your man something nice - a glass of hot tea, a hot sandwich, or something more intimate. Caring and attention are manifested in small things: when, while doing something, we think about a loved one or, for example, refuse something, because it will be unpleasant for him.

Understand your partner. In general, this is not easy to do, especially when your personal ideas, delusions, and worldview interfere. If a woman begins to "think out" something about her man, it is wrong. Of course, the ability to understand and feel a partner comes with time, but you need to go to him. Listen carefully to what he has to say. Find time to have a heart-to-heart talk, and not about all sorts of everyday and superficial things. Exercise a lot of patience. You should not expect this from a man, because it is a woman who, in her own way, is the strongest, most stable link in a pair.

These are elementary norms that are based on love, an understanding of both your inner nature and your partner. Quarrels can occur between a man and a woman over small things, or you can face crises, but the feeling that you are still together and nothing will separate you should be constant. As a rule, everything is decided through honest, open communication with each other. Then the couple reaches true intimacy.

Signs of male love

All women want to be loved. Loved so that it was not just a hobby on the part of men, but real male love. Each of us dreams of such love, as described by Mikhail Bulgakov in his novel The Master and Margarita. So that “love jumped out in front of us, like a murderer jumps out of the ground in an alley, and hit both of us at once! This is how lightning strikes, this is how the Finnish knife strikes! " In the relationship of the two, everything immediately became clear and understandable, the lover can only enjoy their happiness.

However, in reality, such cases are rare. It often happens that quite a long time passes after they meet, and the true manifestations of male love are not visible. No, he can speak affectionate words to his girlfriend, give her flowers, be very gentle in bed, call regularly, and so on. A woman in love begins to be tormented by the question: "How does he really treat me?"

Asking a man about it directly in this case is useless. Men do not always answer this question with all frankness. Not because they are pathological liars. Simply because the male psychology in love is very different from the female one, therefore, the peculiarities of the behavior of a man in love are as follows: sincere confessions are very difficult for him. Some of them find it much more difficult to tell the truth about their feelings than to lie.

So how can a woman be? Continue month after month to hope for the seriousness of the feelings of a beloved man? And if this relationship is superficial? Break up with your current friend? And if he really feels real male love for her, but is silent due to the fact that such is the psychology of men in love? Dilemma.

And as time goes on, the woman becomes more and more attached to her lover, the question of the seriousness of the relationship is becoming more and more painful. What if all this is temporary, what if he does not come, does not call, and then completely disappear forever? Who knows how to understand her, in this very psychology of a man in love? She would insist on a frank answer. But he is afraid to scare him away with his persistence ... What to do? The answer is simple. In reality, there are quite a few manifestations of male love, and if you notice them in a man's behavior, you can be relatively calm - he really loves. But first, of course, you need to know what these manifestations are and what are the features of the behavior of a truly loving man.

How male love manifests itself

In the subtle art of relationships, undoubtedly, women are rightfully considered masters: they are unpredictable, mysterious, and often their behavior defies any logical analysis. It is believed that men in this regard are much more understandable and simpler, that there is nothing complicated in the psychology of men in love, that their behavior is not a secret for women.

In fact, this is far from the case. Just in male psychology in love, there is a lot that is not clear even to specialists in this matter. Some of the men, falling in love, begins to go crazy, begins to pursue their beloved at every step, sing serenades, and fall asleep with expensive gifts. And then it completely cools down to the subject of passion, ceases to notice it.
Someone, having fallen in love, hides, behaves very carefully towards the woman he loves, diligently putting on a dismissive or abstract look. And there is such a situation when not a single gesture and not a single word betrays a man in love.

Both that and other behavior can be both a true manifestation of male love for a woman, and an expression of a temporary, albeit rather prolonged, hobby. If the masculine gender was predictable, then women would not hesitate, not knowing how to interpret the psychology of men in love.

One of the confirmations of true male love for a woman was the acquaintance with his parents. The very ceremony of acquaintance was already implied by a small step to the door of a joint home and to the beginning of family life.

Over time, the growing age of men has also increased significantly. If before the guys, demobilized, were already real men, ready to start a family and raise children, today young people under thirty are still considered young men who are in no hurry to deliberately acquire offspring. Here, too, sometimes such signs of male love as the acquaintance of a girl with her mother do not play any role. This is not his desire, but the desire of his mother - to find out with whom her son is now meeting in order to calm down or, conversely, to get upset and in time to dissuade him from rash acts.

Well, then how do we know if he loves or not? How is the psychology of male love manifested in reality? You can check a man by touching on the topic of how many children they will have and what they will call them. And if a man maintains such a conversation, the woman concludes that he is interested in it, and he also dreams of living together. However, this is by no means a confirmation of true male love: sometimes conversations remain conversations. And the woman does not even realize that the man does not interrupt her and supports the topic only in order to maintain his own calmness.

Let's calm down. There are indicators of true male love, and they are obvious. We just didn’t pay attention to them yet, because we didn’t know that these facts indicate the seriousness of the beloved’s intentions. So what are these indicators?

How to understand that a man loves you

Eight signs that your partner is serious:

If a man decides to part with his position as a bachelor, then with all his behavior he will demonstrate an inner identification with a woman - this is the psychology of men in love. In his conversation with her and with other people, more and more often, instead of the word "I", the word "we" will sound. This is the subconscious perception of oneself not as a separate person, but as a person in a couple.
Men are very honest with themselves: if a woman is not his true male love, then he will not spend a lot of time on her. He will most likely spend his free hours with friends in the company, spend it on sports, fishing, some of his hobbies, and even for an additional two hours of sleep. Very rarely, men devote the bulk of their leisure time to, from their point of view, hopeless relationships. Therefore, in order to draw a conclusion about the quality of the relationship, you need to pay attention to the amount of time spent together.
These manifestations of male love are a logical continuation of the previous sign of a man in love. If a man prefers communication with a woman more than communication with other people, she can be calm - she is loved. Prioritizing communication will say more than all the words about love that may or may not be true. A stable trend is very important here. In the event that a man just once or twice, for the sake of a woman, refused to meet with a second aunt or a neighbor in the garden (garage), this does not mean his strong affection.
This figure seems insignificant, but it is quite weighty. If a man is not frivolous about a woman, then he will certainly give her, at least for temporary use, his favorite "toy". Of course, such "toys" for an adult man are not wooden horses or constructors from childhood. For our men, these are practically all (including technically complex) devices, from watches to computers and cars. They do not like to share their favorite "toys" with strangers: they give them to those to whom they feel good affection.
Oddly enough, but the first serious quarrel is also one of the signs of male love. These are features of the psychology of men: they do not waste time, energy and nerves on a real quarrel with a woman if they do not plan to be with her as long as possible. Men behave differently with women who are of little interest. If a conflict is brewing, they simply turn around and leave, not allowing the showdown to continue. Of course, in case of a major quarrel, it is possible to be convinced of the seriousness of a man's intentions only if it ended in reconciliation. In some cases, men themselves provoke a scandal in order to part with a woman.
The most significant indicator of a man's love is a woman's acquaintance with her friends. This step is often much more important than even introducing the chosen one to her parents. Friends are often included in the most dedicated society of a man and are in some way a kind of association in which he can allow himself to be himself. And not every woman has been awarded an invitation to this closed world. And if she was already invited there, it means that the opinion and support of his friends regarding his choice is important for a man. In addition, meeting friends testifies to trust in the woman herself.
A very good indicator that true masculine love has really settled in the heart of a beloved is joint activity initiated by a man. “Joint work unites,” the cat Matroskin wisely said. Indeed, a common cause brings people closer together. It is desirable that this was not a job, but, for example, a trip to the forest for mushrooms, harvesting in the country, cleaning the garage, etc. From the point of view of psychologists, when a man and a woman do something together in everyday life, the following happens: the information that this woman can not only have fun in life, but also help to get their daily bread firmly settles in the male subconscious.
If a man himself begins not only to talk about a joint future, but also takes concrete steps in this direction, then a woman can be congratulated. This is the main sign of a man who is seriously in love. He has already decided everything in favor of family life, and now he is beginning to actively act. Psychologists advise to always evaluate the attitude of a man to a woman by his actions. After all, words are much easier to pronounce than to carry out a specific task or take responsibility for solving some problems a woman has.

It is not difficult to give a gallant hand, open a door in front of a lady or pay for it in a restaurant. And this behavior is nothing more than a polite courtesy that should not be given much importance. If a man helped with the move from a rented apartment, began to repair in a new one, repaired a tap in an old one, and so on, this is already a real act of the future husband.

So, the psychology of men in love has already become more understandable to us, and we already know several signs that the chosen one is serious. We begin to analyze his actions based on these signs. Even all these signs cannot give a 100% guarantee of a man's decisive intentions, ending with a trip to the registry office - anything can happen in life.

It also happens that a truly in love man, who has already offered his beloved his hand and heart, suddenly changed his mind at the last moment. It is very expensive, this man's freedom! Therefore, you should not artificially limit it and rush things. Let the beloved come to the desired solution himself.

Psychological types of men

Audials, visuals, kinesthetics - this is a simplified gradation of men, based on how they are used to receiving information and sharing it with the outside world. Since it is not possible to meet in its pure form a bright representative of any of the named psychological types, this division is rather conditional, having rather blurred boundaries. We are all a mixture of certain qualities, but, looking more closely, you can see what dominates in us, plays the most striking role in our behavior. And then build a strategy to win the heart of your chosen one.

Audial male

If your man is audial, then keep in mind that you got a great rarity. Among men, this psychological type is the least common; for some reason, nature ordered that. You will immediately determine that this is the man in front of you, by the following signs:

He uses in his speech such phrases as "I am listening ...", "Listen to me ...", "How noisy ...", "How quiet ...", "I don't want to hear it."
He loves listening to music, he has all the collections of his favorite performers, and only in the most excellent quality.
Most likely, this man will have a good ear for music, and if his life is not connected with a creative profession, then he quite finds application for his musical talents in a hobby (for example, singing at karaoke).
Best of all, he memorizes information by ear. After watching the movie, he can easily quote exactly the phrases you like, surprisingly conveying even the subtleties of the intonation he heard.

For such men, the world is filled with sounds: quiet and loud, melodic and harsh, pleasant and disgusting. A melody heard by chance can awaken many feelings, associations and emotions in his subconscious, and the phrase that a word can also hurt acquires the clearest and most specific meaning when communicating with such men.

You will charm him if:

You have a beautiful melodic voice and good diction. If by nature you did not get vocal data, then it is in your hands to improve what you have through various exercises.
Be generous with compliments. Here there is already an opportunity to catch two birds with one stone: there are few people who can be indifferent to approving words addressed to them, and if they are uttered in a charming female voice, then the male soul will surrender without a fight.
You will begin to understand music, artists and will be able to distinguish the sound quality in his car compared to others.
Dedicate a song or poetry to him, even if he is not at all romantic at heart. Hearing beautifully designed words of sympathy and love, he will definitely not be able to remain indifferent.

What is forbidden to do:

Shouting and boycotting is equally useless and can even only hurt you. The psychology of any man in a relationship does not accept such rather categorical measures, but it is especially important to remember this when you are dealing with a man who perceives information by ear.
Avoid foul language, in fact, this has little overlap with femininity, and in a situation with a male auditory, the importance of each spoken word increases exponentially.

Male visual

This is a very common type. Determine that you are dealing with just such, perhaps by the following signs:

In his speech, you can often hear such words as: “Look at me”, “Until I see it with my own eyes, I won’t believe it”, “I see it perfectly”, “We’ll wait and see”, “It was ugly”.
It is important for him how you look, how he looks, appearance plays a very important role for such men.
He just has an amazing visual memory: he will be able to remember the once seen face or place, even after a long time.
He loves watching movies more than listening to music, and also loves to surround himself with beautiful things that he likes to admire.

You will turn his head if:

You are attractive or know how to present your external merits correctly and hide some flaws. A well-groomed girl who looks after her appearance has every chance to attract the attention of men of this type.
You write letters to him, and you do it with imagination: choose an unusual design for your message and write it with your own hand, and do not print it on a computer.
Always try to look great: these men "love with their eyes" in the literal sense, and how much you put effort into your own appearance, so much of his attention to you will come back.
You will leave him speechless by dancing a lap dance for him once, he will be at your feet immediately.
Even when preparing food, you will delight his eyes - beautifully set the table, use beautiful kitchen utensils.

You shouldn't do this:

Forget that there are hairdressers, manicure and pedicure masters, beauticians, fashion stores, fitness clubs and other places that help women look charming. With this man, you should not be afraid to pay extra attention to your appearance. He is just approving of everything you do to look your best, because you are trying for him, for your beloved.
To criticize his appearance, to communicate (even with the best intentions) that someone looks better, stylish, young, and so on. Explaining why you shouldn't do this is unnecessary.

Kinesthetic man

Your man is kinesthetic if:

He learns the world through touch, feelings of comfort or lack of it near him.
You understood this because he seeks to touch you himself and he is clearly pleased if you touch him.
In his speech, you hear such phrases as “It touched me”, “It doesn’t concern me”, “I feel”, “It comes out cold from him”, “I hug you”.
He likes to lie in the bathroom, eat delicious food, he likes to play sports and other physical activity.

This psychological type is most common among men, so we advise you to take a closer look at your chosen one. Most likely, you will see many signs that indicate that he belongs specifically to kinesthetics. Develop an appropriate strategy to win this man: Psychologists claim that they are suitable for the role of head of the family.

How to charm him:

Touches, kisses, caresses, hugs, and most importantly - amazing sex: these are the tools that will help you fall in love with a kinesthetic man.
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” clearly refers to men of this psychological type. Cook him delicious food. He, like no one else, will be able to appreciate your culinary talents.
Wear perfume. Let your scent be firmly engraved in his memory, evoking associations with warmth, tenderness, and comfort. For him, these are the most powerful emotions.
Touch him more often, do a massage, this man admires such expressions of feelings.

You don't need to do this:

Use excommunication from the marital bed as an argument in conflict situations, as well as from such natural manifestations of caring for your man as cooking delicious food and clean clothes. Sooner or later, such manipulations will force the kinesthetic man to seek warmth, comfort and understanding elsewhere. His male point of view will be as follows: I am being deprived of the most valuable thing, which means that I am not at home here.
These men are most pleased with the manifestations in a woman of her primordial features, such as softness, femininity, thriftiness. Therefore, they will not be able to give credit to your career achievements, especially if it comes at the expense of your family. You either have to make every effort so that your man does not feel deprived of attention, or in some way sacrifice your own career heights.

The role of a woman in the life of a beloved man

For every man, it is possible to pick up a magic key that can open the doors of his heart. After all, women, unlike men, are still more subtle psychologists, it is easier for us to hear the inner voice of a partner. So let's use what nature has given us for our own good, in order to always see, hear and feel the love emanating from your chosen one.

Discussion 30

What are girls made of, what are boys made of? Every day, communicating with the opposite sex, many of us sigh and say to ourselves: "Women (men) do not understand!" Indeed, quite often the differences between a man and a woman regarding the perception of the same things seem so huge that common points of contact cannot be found. Many scientific papers have been written claiming that the differences between men and women are so great, as if they are representatives of different species. And exactly the same number of studies say the opposite. Who is right?

What is the origin of the idea of the psychological differences between men and women, the myth of a total misunderstanding of each other? This is most likely due to gender differences, behaviors and differences in expectations. The characteristics of women and men have repeatedly become the subject of various studies, both popular and deeply scientific. Their results provide reliable evidence that the psychological characteristics of men and women are really different.

As for the brain of a man and a woman, the differences in its work are still not clear. When interacting with other people, a man must clearly understand the meaning and ultimate goal of what is happening. If a problem is being discussed, his brain is wired to seek and make a decision. A woman will usually talk about how she feels about the problem and what to do to feel differently. For a woman, talking about a problem means feeling understood and accepted, becoming closer with the interlocutor, sharing her thoughts and feelings with him.

At the same time, there are many men whose brains function "according to the female" principle, that is, they need to "articulate" the problem. Men gravitate towards productive speech. They easily shorten the story about something if they believe that the details of what happened are unimportant, and do not change the meaning of the story. Moreover, men will easily interrupt their narration if they think that the main idea has already been conveyed to the audience, and unnecessary comments will not add anything new to the picture of what happened.

Communication between men and women, psychology of communication between men and women

Communication between a man and a woman is also different, and sometimes so much that it is difficult to reach an understanding. Women use communication with a man to organize or develop their own thoughts. The more details and associations, the more satisfaction a woman gets from communication.

A man from the whole stream of reasoning is usually interested in moments that can be used for specific actions, and ways to implement the plan. If what has been said has no practical application, it can be classified by a man as insignificant.

The female psychology of communication with a man is often based on reasoning about the possibilities, feelings, and outside views on them. A woman predicts the reaction of others (especially men) and specifies how comfortable she will be with one or another way of solving the problem. Sometimes an insignificant detail, being quite strongly colored emotionally, can be decisive for a woman in defining the problem as a whole.

The psychology of communication between a man and a woman is based on getting to the bottom of the problem. And the psychology of communication between a woman and a man, on the contrary, is based on getting rid of unnecessary and negative emotions. Sometimes women in general, instead of solving the problem itself, prefer to find a different point of view from which the problem no longer seems too big or does not look like a problem at all.

Men, like women, are not always rational in solving certain problems. If the problem does not have an obvious solution or the man does not understand the essence of the problem, then he may not at all consider the current state of affairs as a problem.

Women are considered to be more emotional, but research shows that men keep up with their beautiful girlfriends in this regard. True, men severely limit themselves in the manifestation of these emotions, especially if there are persons nearby who may assess them “incorrectly”.

Everyone knows the saying that a woman driving is akin to a monkey with a grenade, i.e. capable of rash and unexpected actions. Many men generally believe that women do not belong behind the wheel. However, in reality, everything is different.

Both men and women with the same driving experience have approximately the same skills. But men drive more aggressively, relaxed and gain "mileage" faster. Self-confidence often leads to overestimation of one's capabilities. A large number of male drivers believe that their driving skills are "above average", which is not true. Many “excellent” drivers in the experiment performed an assignment to determine their driving skills and received a rating of “below average”. One study comparing the driving behavior of men and women found that men who judged women for inept driving had twice as many accidents with pedestrians as those who did not make such judgments.

Probably, it is precisely because of these features that men have a 77% higher risk of getting into an accident. Among the ladies, there are undoubtedly their own reckless drivers, but in general, women gravitate towards safer driving, rarely break the rules and try to avoid risky situations. That is, a woman driving is more likely to miss a car overtaking her than compete with another driver in speed and perseverance.

However, there is an interesting point. If a woman maintains the stereotype that “the weaker sex is unsuitable for driving,” she will indeed drive worse, make many mistakes and stupid things while driving.

Another difference between men and women is memory. The expression "maiden memory" implies the fragility of information that has entered a woman's brain. However, women remember in some detail the details of the first date, the grievances inflicted many years ago, the hopes and disappointments of youth, since all these events are emotionally charged.

Women have excellent verbal memory. The psychology of communication with a woman is based on the fact that they remember well words, objects, pictures and daily events with all the little things, as well as the sequence of actions that they did not so long ago. The woman will easily remember where she put the keys or glasses. She recreates in her memory a picture of what was happening around, what she was doing at that moment and even what she was thinking about.

Men are better at remembering symbols, non-linguistic, and visual-spatial information. For this reason, they tend to find their bearings easily. A great 3D image of the environment is created in a man's head.

Women are also good at orienting themselves on the ground, despite the fact that their memory and perception work in a completely different way. Women follow the same pattern as when searching for keys. The woman recalls what and in what order in a given area she saw, what she thought and what she felt in relation to the surrounding objects.

There is a myth that women are not good at math. Studies have shown that math skills are about the same in boys and girls. The difference in favor of the stronger sex is revealed only if the society in which the children are brought up is convinced of male superiority in the exact sciences. Probably, girls in this case are more condescending to their successes in the exact sciences, attributing this to the "non-feminine character" of mathematics, do not seek to identify and correct mistakes.

Another common myth is that women are chatty. In reality, female talkativeness does not exceed male. Emotional communication between wives and their girlfriends may seem meaningless to men because of the general difference in the content of "male" and "female" conversations. Men are quite capable of "chatting" women, discussing their hobbies and even just gossiping. It's just that the accents in the male conversation are placed differently than in the female one.

The spirit of competition is shared by both men and women. However, its development is strongly influenced by the cultural environment. If the dominant role of men is recognized in society, then the main battles for leadership will be between them. Where the social environment recognizes the leading role for a woman, representatives of the so-called weaker sex can behave harshly and aggressively. So, we can assume that “men are from Mars, and women are from Venus,” but we can assume that we are all from Earth and are able to find a common language with each other, especially if we are aware of the intricacies of the worldview of the “other side”.

Mirtesen

Psychology of communication with men

Here is a woman meeting an interesting man, they start dating, chatting, spending time, and then, quite unexpectedly, the relationship starts to deteriorate and the man disappears. And this is repeated several times. If this story is familiar to you, let's look together for an answer to the question of why this is happening. The fact is that a man and a woman are different from each other, like summer and winter, like day and night. This means that you need to communicate with them in different ways. The psychology of communication with men is quite peculiar, and requires a scrupulous approach. That is why the psychology of successful communication with men lies in the concept of "speaking their language."

If we, the fair sex, manage to unravel at least some of the secrets of communication with men, we can achieve great success in building excellent relationships between a man and a woman. To do this, it is worth studying the male "language of conversation" and the principles of behavior. In addition, men and women perceive information in different ways, too. Therefore, in most cases, a woman speaks in order to speak out, and a man enters into a dialogue only "on business."

Let's take a look at some of the basic rules for dealing with men:

men perceive everything in terms of problem solving. If a woman just wants to speak out, a friend is more suitable for her. The man will immediately begin to give advice;
when talking, men are able to discuss one topic at one time. Women in parallel lead several topics at once (children, work, mother-in-law, shops). Therefore, discuss one topic with your male interlocutor;
men, when talking, look into the eyes of the interlocutor. This rule should also be followed;
men are simple, therefore they do not notice the "subtext" in the conversation. If a woman wants something from a man, she should say it directly.

The art of communicating with men also lies in the correspondence of the selected image and the intended topic, because a man's picture must match one hundred percent. For example, if a woman is going to a business meeting, then a strict business suit, hairstyle and serious business manners will be a good plus for a successful transaction. Then the man clearly understands what they came to him with and tunes in for a serious conversation. Correct communication with a man leads to positive results in the goal of communication, whether it be a business deal or a personal acquaintance with the hope of a long-term relationship.

There are well-known things that men hate about women. To avoid mistakes, consider the most common "female lapses":

men are annoyed when the conversation starts with accusations. If this situation is repeated often, men prefer to distance themselves;
men hate women's tears. It is better to talk about everything in a business way - the result will be better;
men hate to be ashamed. A woman is doomed to loneliness if she cannot learn this rule by heart;
do not go to a man with questions when he is busy. Here it is worth noting that interrogating him with the phrase: "what happened, why are you silent?" also impossible.

These rules are very simple, so if you want to achieve the desired goals in dealing with men, they should be learned by heart. The first communication with a man should be interesting, exciting and dynamic. So that there was a desire to meet again. Talk about more masculine topics, that is, those that interest him, but you should not talk about pink frills and blonde girlfriends at the first meeting.

If the conversation is business, show your business skills as much as possible. Make clear and specific sentences. Feel free to shake hands when you meet and say goodbye.

Now there is a lot of literature, which gives a lot of tips and advice, as well as reveals the secrets and peculiarities of communication with men. I would especially like to mention authors such as Allan and Barbara Pease, who have published many excellent books on this topic. Almost all the answers about how different a man and a woman can be can be obtained from the book "Man and Woman, the Language of Relationships" by Allan and Barbara Pease.

Reactions to the article

In paired relationships, people often do not talk about their needs, believing that everything is already clear, that the other must guess without words. However, to think that the other person will figure it out on his own is a big mistake. It is necessary to speak, because we have not yet learned to understand each other without words ...

Relationships in a couple are a whole art that every person, probably, dreams of mastering. What are the components of a long and happy life together for two loving people? A variety of formulas for happiness are offered. But the most correct one, which is dictated by the natural laws of nature. The disclosure of these laws is offered by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.

One of the most important elements of a strong union between a man and a woman is an emotional connection and, as a result, a deep trusting relationship in a couple. But often people are not ready to talk to each other about what is in their souls, sometimes they simply do not know how or are afraid to be sincere, especially as a result of bad experience.

How to overcome this fear and open up to another person? Why is it worth the risk and how to do it right? Let's try to answer these and many other questions using system-vector psychology, which explains how to create trusting relationships in a pair, depending on the desires and sets of mental properties of each partner, which are called vectors.

Are we ready to talk?

Let's see what might be holding us back from creating an emotional connection.

It happens that people do not want to share their negative experiences, doubts (especially men) because of fears that this may develop into a constant showdown and splashing out tension on each other. This risk exists if people do not understand themselves, their conditions.

Another reason for underestimating the importance of trusting communication is self-focus. We do not hear the other person, do not understand his states, his aspirations, reacting only to our pain from the words of another. When our finger hurts very much, we do not care about the mental pain of even a very close person. This comes from the feeling of our own oneness, as if we are alone in this world, and the rest are just an attachment to us.

Many, especially people with, are prone to limitations in everything, including in the expression of their own emotions, there are false attitudes regarding the need to talk with their spouse. So, a dermal woman may not tell her partner that she loves him, implying that “I myself must understand. Why waste words? "

Silence between a man and a woman living together is possible only if they both have, for the owners of which, as Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology says, silence and solitude are an absolute must. When two sound people are silent, it is natural for them. At the same time, they are synchronous in their actions, they feel the unity of interests, they have something to keep silent about. It fills them. In other cases, silence is a lack of communication, leading to misunderstanding, discord.

About the fear of betrayal

And we are sometimes afraid of betrayal. What if our candor is used to our detriment? What if our words and experiences become the subject of ridicule and discussion?

Here it is worth weighing the risk that we receive by opening our souls (of course, not to the first person we meet, but to the person to whom we are attracted, with whom we want to build relationships), and the pleasure from rapprochement, unity of souls, which leads to the creation of truly happy relationships, including sexual ones. What could be more pleasure from a spiritual connection with another person? It's worth the risk.

Moreover, the risk is not as great as it seems to us. If you understand the person with whom you are building a relationship just as well, and even better than he understands himself. Even the basic knowledge about the human psyche, obtained at the training in system-vector psychology, makes this possible for everyone.

Features of communication with a representative of the anal vector

In some cases, an attempt to talk about intimate things can end in conflict. Men for whom the first experience, purity of relationships, loyalty are important (such are the owners), as a rule, react very painfully to the frankness about the previous relationship of their beloved. Although they are often interested in this. This is because they want to be the best, but they are not always confident in themselves.

A woman who decides in this case to go for this kind of frankness runs the risk of falling into the trap of her own gullibility. As Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology says, the psyche of a person with an anal vector is turned into the past, which is preferable for him than the present. He is ready to admit in advance that everything that was before is better. Having learned about the "former", an anal man, having a very good memory, will never be able to forgive her her past lovers, because, in his opinion, they are a priori better than him. He will reproach her with this at every opportunity.

Such a conversation has its own characteristics, which are best taken into account in order to make communication as pleasant and fruitful as possible for both partners. Vector systems psychology gives us very precise recommendations on this matter.

The Role of Women in the Art of Soul Conversation

A woman always sets the tone in a relationship. She is desirable, and the man goes wherever she unconsciously attracts him. Therefore, it is easier and more natural for a woman to start a sincere, sincere conversation, that is, to be naked mentally. It is much easier for her than for a man to be open. This does not mean the exchange of rational information (paying bills, going to the store, vacation plans), we need this in everyday life, but this does not apply to creating an emotional connection.

Starting to talk about herself, about her feelings, sharing intimate, a woman involves a man in confidential communication. And he responds, responds with frankness to frankness, because this is always a mutual process.

At the same time, you should not be afraid to show yourself how you feel, how you want it, even if there is no such attitude from the other side yet. The man will gradually get involved. You walk forward and he follows you.

The rapprochement of souls occurs gradually, you should not start with difficult and painful revelations. Allow intimacy first. It is better to start with some innocent but dear childhood memories, possibly related to food, or children's secrets. This will naturally relieve some of the initial tension from revealing the secret. Give the man the opportunity to answer, to open up himself, to speak. Hear it, focus on it. Make it clear how you appreciate his sincerity.

Gradually, you will feel trust and will be able to share even more intimate things and inner states. This is especially important for carriers of the sound-visual ligament of vectors, for whom mental and intellectual connections are the most important in life.

When there is an understanding of oneself and one's neighbor

Talking about inner states and feelings can bring loving people who deeply understand each other closer together. They understand the peculiarities of the psyche of a loved one, the reasons for his reactions and experiences. Such a deep recognition of each other occurs when both partners together undergo training in Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.

The article was written based on the training materials “ System-vector psychology»