What to do if you are in love with a married man. How do married men feel about sex? What to do when both are bound by the bonds of Hymen

Every person in life is looking for personal happiness and love. But what if the center of your life has become a man with a ring and? This is to some extent a diagnosis, because it is difficult to imagine a more complex and painful relationship. But whatever one may say, life is such that you don’t know where you will meet your happiness and what it will be like. Since it so happened that your love lies in a married man, then you should understand yourself and your goals. Until this novel is completely swallowed up into the abyss.

Fell in love with a married friend

Here, it would seem, you are hundred-year-old friends, he has a family. You visit them more often than at home. And one day the realization comes to you that you have lost not only a friend. And lost the love of his life when he got married. The world has ceased to exist, how it has to be shared with another woman, although before he devoted all his time only to you. He is your friend, but not property. The famous phrase - there can be no friendship between a man and a woman, fully justifies this situation.

What to do if you do not want to completely lose him as a friend? It is better to lose than to torture yourself all your life being in a similar situation. Let it be painful, difficult and hard now, but it's better to let it go now. And let me build my life with another woman. And you, what to do if you fall in love with a married man- a friend? Live on and remember that it is better to express your feelings in a timely manner and be rejected (or not, which is better). Than biting your elbows, seeing someone else's happiness. Moreover, as they say, one cannot build happiness on someone else's misfortune, and everything returns according to the boomerang law. Do not deceive fate.


All people spend most of their lives at work, such is the law of survival. Where else, if not at work, can you start a relationship? Of course, here they are men, free and not very, married and divorced. But it's not interesting to fall in love with a free guy from a neighboring department, or a brutal boss. How he knows how to manage, how stately and handsome. Yes, all the girls are just crazy about him. And if he invites to his office to discuss something, then anyone is happy. And it doesn’t matter if they are reprimanded or praised. But everyone thinks that she is the best, special, the best.

And yes, you loved him too. But he does not know about it, and he attributes the red blush of his cheeks to the heat in the office. Let him be married, but what to do if you fall in love with a married man- boss? And what can be done about the flared feelings? It is better to forget, to throw a stupid fantasy out of your head. The best thing is to go to the next room to that guy and invite him to meet. Than to waste your precious time on the boss, who already has everything in his life. And playing the role of a mistress is not the surest way. After all, under no circumstances will a successful person exchange his family for a flash of feelings. Yes, it can be a vivid romance, with a storm of emotions, chic evenings and rose petals. But why trample on yourself and exchange for something that will not be continued?


What to do if you fell in love with a married man - mutual love

What, in essence, is love? This is chemistry. Nobody knows what it will be like when it hits. As a child, you draw in your imagination the image of your chosen one, based on the knowledge gained from books and films. The parental model of relationships also greatly affects the future fate and future relationships of the girl. And now you meet the man of your dreams, but he, unfortunately, is married. But strong feelings cover both of you, that there is no doubt about reciprocity. The question "is he in love with me" disappears. Everything is so clear. and both of you are overwhelmed with mutual feelings?

But what's next when it turns out that he has a wife with a child? Yes, she is married, but there are no children. Yes, it doesn’t matter when the feeling that there is no strength to stop is at stake. It is worth assessing the degree of risk if you split two families. Think about whether this relationship will be as beautiful and bewitching as it is now, being you married. Sometimes it is this fact of the ban that plays a strong role in such passionate feelings between married people. But if a decision is made, then there is no doubt that this is your person. One has only to try to maintain a respectful relationship with the second half. After all, your children, as adults, will adopt your own model of relationships. And who knows how their fate will develop after the trauma inflicted in childhood in the form of separation of their parents.


Horoscope for a married man
  1. ram - nothing. Since Aries can be described as a faithful and reliable husband. So falling in love with him is only making things worse for yourself. He is able to go to treason only in the event of the destruction of marriage.
  2. A married Taurus man is not prone to treason, like an Aries. For him, there is nothing more important than his woman and family, and joint plans for the future. It is very difficult to wait and love such a man, since he will strive to save his family to the last. And he is not interested in mistresses, because he has his own one.
  3. Inconstancy in relationships reigns among married men of twins. Therefore, if on your way you met such a man whom you dared to love, be prepared that you are not alone. Out of boredom, he is able to start an affair with all the girls he likes, despite the fact that there is a family.
  4. Cancer man can be described as a faithful family man who strives to maintain his peace of mind. He is against divorce, and, in principle, cheating. So you can only love such men with platonic love, they will not reciprocate.
  5. Probably the most walking husband is a man born under the sign of a lion. lion? If you want to become his next love victim, then you can fall in love. But don't expect you to be the only one, because they love beautiful women.
  6. A married Virgo man will not make casual acquaintances. His wife is enough for him. Therefore, falling in love with a maiden, remember that this is not the most suitable option.
  7. Born under the sign of Libra, men are soft husbands and it is difficult for them to control their emotions. They do not like everyday routine, so they run away from home at any opportunity in search of new experiences. Falling in love with them is not difficult. After all, they are always open to new acquaintances and meetings. - scales? Be affectionate and feminine, then a married Libra man will fall in love with you.
  8. A married Scorpio man is not interested in dates on the side. He is attracted to stability. Divorces are rare for them. Therefore, if you already happened to fall in love with him, then take your relationship as a vivid romance. Doomed to parting in the end.
  9. The Sagittarius man is loyal and loving, devoted to his wife. archer? Don't even try to fall in love. And if you want the same husband, then it is better to find a free archer.
  10. Capricorns are not the most faithful husbands capable of leading a double life. Having fallen in love with a married Capricorn man, it is worth remembering that for the sake of the wife's hostess, they will not leave the family. Love them and enjoy the fact that they love you. But do not expect him to drop everything and be only with you.
  11. A married man of Aquarius is distinguished by a windy nature. They quickly fall in love, get married, and then, being married, fall in love again. Falling under their spell is not difficult, but falling out of love is already a problem. And how many of you will be so in love with him, only he alone knows. He will divorce his wife easily, and he can marry you. But will you not have the same fate as your wife?
  12. The fish man has been looking for his chosen one for a long time, striving for the ideal. In his wife, he appreciates spiritual support. And if she is not, then she can choose you. If you have the quality he needs. Having fallen in love with a married fish man, remember that he always returns home. What will the affair with him lead to, yes, probably, to nothing or to loneliness.

Fell in love with a married man video


What can you wish a woman puzzled by the question: what to do if you fall in love with a married man? Of course prudence and self-love. A person who loves himself and has family values ​​will never allow himself such weakness. Namely - to fall in love with a married man, and even go to the destruction of someone else's family.
Respect yourself and other people's feelings. Peace and kindness to your hearts.

To decide what to do in a situation where a beloved man is married, you need to listen to your feelings and inner voice, weigh the pros and cons. You must be prepared for the fact that you will either have to come to terms with the role of a constant mistress, or fight for your relationship to the end and try to take him away from the family. The most prudent option would be when a woman tries to forget someone else's man and start looking for a more worthy life partner.

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    Prospects for such relations

    Love can inspire a person, become his inspiration, give vitality and energy, but only if the beloved is single. If the beloved has a lawful wife, then this circumstance cannot but upset and upset the woman. If, having learned the truth about the status of a man, a woman decides to continue a relationship with him, then she should be prepared for the fact that quite often she will have to endure many unpleasant moments:

    1. 1. You will have to constantly overcome the feeling of jealousy. Even if a man assures his mistress that his family relationships have long been devoid of spiritual and physical intimacy, it becomes quite difficult to believe in this over time. Especially in those moments when a loved one spends time with children and an official wife.
    2. 2. You should tune in to the fact that all holidays, such as New Year, March 8, Valentine's Day, your birthday, the man will spend with his family, and the woman will be left alone. If you are very lucky, then your lover may drop in for an hour, but all this time he will nervously look at his watch and worry about not arousing any suspicion in his wife.
    3. 3. It will be necessary to endure constant calls and his conversations with his wife or, possibly, with a child. These people are part of his family, and he will not be able to ignore communication with them. Answering calls, he will have to constantly come up with different reasons for his being late. This may be a protracted meeting with business partners, a big traffic jam on the way home, and other weighty arguments. While all the attempts of the mistress to get through to the man when he is at home will be in vain.
    4. 4. Relationships will come with endless restrictions. Meetings can only take place at the woman’s house, it will be possible to call her lover only before the end of working hours, it will be possible to go to a restaurant only in a place where no one knows the couple.

    Another thing is if a girl appears in a man's life at the moment when his marriage is bursting at the seams. In this case, all these troubles will be temporary, or if a man is deeply in love, he will immediately leave his wife.

    There are three ways out of this situation:

    • forget about him and erase him from your life forever;
    • go to all possible and impossible to defend their relationship and achieve a divorce from his beloved wife;
    • stay as a secret mistress.

    In order to make the right choice, you need to soberly think everything over and think not only about yourself, but also about his family, relationships with the child.

    What to do if you fell in love

    How to forget an unfree man

    If a woman has come to terms with the fact that he will never leave her family, or love for someone else's husband turned out to be an unbearable burden, everything possible should be done to forget about his existence. To this end, you need to do some things:

    • Break up with a man. He must know about the decision of the woman he loves. If the decision is final, then you should not go on about and agree to the last cup of coffee, give one more chance. A man in this situation must clearly understand that the parting scene is not played out in order to tickle his nerves, but this is the real ending of the relationship.
    • Burn all bridges and paths of return. To do this, you need to ignore his phone calls or add him to the "black list" of subscribers, delete the number from the phone's memory, get rid of shared photos and things that remind you of him, do not ask anything about him from mutual friends.
    • Give vent to emotions and tears. Immediately after a breakup, you should not pretend to be an iron lady who can easily cope with her feelings. No need to accumulate negative energy within yourself, it must be splashed out. You have to cry as much as you want. You can tell your best friend about the injustice of life several dozen times. It would be useful to go to a qualified specialist whose main area of ​​work is the psychology of family relationships.
    • Start life from scratch. It is necessary to clearly realize the fact that after parting, life does not end. This is an occasion for a possible meeting with a worthy young man. You should visit public places in the company of your best friends, buy yourself a thing that you really like. You need to pamper yourself and not refuse anything.

    How to fight for your relationship

    If a woman has made a choice in the direction of maintaining a relationship at any cost, then in this case the time has come for active action. She needs to push the man to make the final decision. If there is a desire to become the only one for a loved one, then the following steps must be taken:

    1. 1. Honestly answer to yourself the question of whether the desire to be with a man is an attempt to assert himself or is it really sincere warm feelings.
    2. 2. Adequately assess your chances. Do not openly ask a man when he will leave the family. This wording of the question will drive him into a dead end. He will simply begin to evade an honest answer. In this case, it is necessary to independently set the time frame for waiting for its final decision.
    3. 3. Do not make the mistakes of his wife. If he says that he is delighted with the care, affection and tenderness of his beloved, then this is exactly how you should behave in the future. In no case do not swear with him, presenting your claims and discontent.
    4. 4. You must carefully monitor your appearance on every date. While a man is not around, you need to take time for your appearance. He should not see any washed-out robes, hair curlers and masks on his face.
    5. 5. Make him a little jealous. A man must understand that the light has not converged on him like a wedge and his beloved woman attracts the attention of others. The main thing is not to overdo it in this matter.
    6. 6. It is worth thinking and giving yourself an answer to the question of what to do if the time before a divorce can take not only months, but also years, does a woman have a desire to wait so long. It should be borne in mind that if a man has children in marriage, then he will not stop communicating with his ex-wife even after parting.

    If a man does not want to change anything

    There are times when a loved one cannot, for some reason, leave his family. These can be small children whom he does not want to inflict psychological trauma, financial obligations, joint loans and much more. The situation is aggravated if the beloved is from another city.

    It would be logical for a girl to leave her lover alone, but feelings are stronger. In this case, psychologists advise you to follow simple rules that will help you to endure this unpleasant situation more easily, and eventually completely forget about unpromising relationships:

    1. 1. The interests of a woman should come first. Although she is not his legal wife, the girl will be able to meet only when she has time and it is convenient for her.
    2. 2. No need to become his housekeeper, who diligently prepares dinner for him. A man should take care of the prepared food. Moreover, now there are no problems with the delivery of prepared food to the house.
    3. 3. Don't talk to him about his wife. Do not spoil your mood by listening to his stories or complaints about your spouse. For at least a few hours, he should belong only to his mistress.
    4. 4. Do not attempt to tell his wife about the relationship with him. You can make sure that the wife finds out about everything. But after such a grand scandal and a break in relations, there are no guarantees that a man will immediately begin to propose. Moreover, he will accuse his mistress of constant scandals with his wife, and no one needs this.
    5. 5. Constantly be in search of a more worthy, and most importantly, free candidate for the hand and heart. It should not be forgotten that in almost all cases a married lover is temporary. Don't spend all your time on him. You need to communicate, meet other young people, be the center of attention of other men.

    The prospect of relationships, taking into account the sign of the Zodiac

    The sign of his zodiac has a great influence on a man's penchant for intrigues and romances on the side:

    Zodiac sign

    The propensity of a married man to cheat

    If a woman fell in love with a married Aries, then all her attempts to attract his attention or win his heart will be in vain, since the representatives of this sign are exemplary family men and faithful husbands. They can go for treason only when their marriage is really collapsing.

    Taurus does not have a tendency to cheat on his wife. They do not succumb to any temptations if they have a single beloved wife

    Twins

    Representatives of this zodiac sign are quite loving and will not miss a single beauty. If a lover was born under the sign of Gemini, then a woman should be prepared for the fact that she is not the only one with him. If a man of this sign prefers variety in his sexual life, then he starts an affair with all the girls he likes.

    You can only love a Cancer man with platonic love, since he will not be able to reciprocate the signs of attention of any other woman, except for his wife. Men of this sign in most cases are good family men and do not tolerate betrayal or breakup.

    The most unfaithful husbands are men born under the sign of Leo. They are very fond of beautiful women, so you should not count on the fact that the mistress will be his only muse.

    Virgos are considered the most decent spouses. Not worth the Virgo man. This relationship will end before it even starts.

    Libras are always open to new acquaintances. They are quite soft, but they do not like the gray everyday routine. They are constantly looking for new experiences. The lover should be affectionate and feminine. This will help you fall in love with a Libra man.

    Scorpion

    Scorpios don't like side flings, as they like stability. They rarely initiate divorces. Relations with a Scorpio lover are doomed to parting

    Don't even try - Sagittarius. Representatives of this sign are faithful and devoted to their spouses. You should try to find a free man of the same zodiac sign

    Capricorns are among those men who tend to lead a double life. It must be borne in mind that representatives of this sign may have several extramarital affairs.

    For married Aquarius, windiness is characteristic. They can quickly fall in love, get married, and after that, already being married, lose their heads again and fall in love. They can easily divorce, but there is no guarantee that he will not do the same with his next wife.

    Pisces men are very responsible for creating a family and choosing their soulmate. They appreciate not only external beauty, but also spiritual support and understanding. A relationship with a Pisces lover is likely to end in nothing.

    Relationship between two unfree people

    There are times when a woman, being herself married, falls in love with someone else's husband. This can happen for several reasons:

    1. 1. A strained, cool relationship with your spouse. If a tense atmosphere constantly dominates in the family, then it is not surprising that a woman tries to find solace in the arms of another man. She will not hesitate to become the mistress of the one who will give her tenderness, care and affection.
    2. 2. Lack of attention from the spouse. This may result from the fact that the husband spends too much time with his friends, girlfriends, car. A woman wants to raise her self-esteem and find another man.
    3. 3. Revenge for the adultery of her husband. After the faithful cheated, the woman of the subconscious begins to search for another life partner. To forgive betrayal is very difficult and painful, so not every spouse will be able to continue family relationships after betrayal.
    4. 4. Dissatisfaction with the intimate life of a married couple. A woman is repelled by her husband's quick sex, the lack of foreplay, surprises and pleasant surprises. She begins to look for someone who can appreciate her sexual temperament.
    5. 5. Desire for vivid emotions. Some time after the official marriage, men stop showing their emotions towards their beloved wife. The woman begins to doubt his feelings. Therefore, she begins to look for another man, a relationship with which will be filled with romance.
    6. 6. Excessive jealousy of the husband, which is groundless. The husband's endless reproaches and psychological pressure lead to the fact that the woman really starts looking for a lover.

    The romance of two not free people usually lasts no more than three years. During this time, there are ups and downs and ups and downs of emotions.

    After about a few years, such relationships end in nothing. People begin to understand and realize the importance and value of their legitimate second half, they try to introduce novelty and improve their relationship with each other.

    If a married woman has an affair with someone else's husband, then you should try to enjoy these relationships until they bring joy. It is better not to think that someday it will turn out to tie the knot with this man. This will help prevent feelings of bitter disappointment.

    If the lover is much older

    Many girls fall in love with an adult man much older than themselves. This is embedded in European culture, which claims that a man should be older, wiser.

    If a girl fell in love with a man older than herself, then against the background of his wife she will look more advantageous. But it is possible that after a few years of a stormy romance, this man will find himself another younger and prettier lover.

    If, nevertheless, a girl fell in love with a married man, then you should think about the following:

    • You need to put yourself in the place of his wife. After all, she gave him the best years of his life, gave birth and raised children who miss their dad and are waiting for him. This picture should be presented quite often. Over time, the desire will pass.
    • We must try to get to know a person well before it comes to sex. After all, if a crisis really arose in his family relations, then there are good reasons for that.
    • You should live your life and think about it as little as possible. You need to walk with friends, expand your horizons, make new acquaintances with the opposite sex.
    • No need to impose on your beloved man and try to be away from him. If this does not work out due to objective reasons (for example, he works in the same company), then communication should be minimized. If this does not help, you can ask the authorities to change the schedule so that it is not possible to meet with him every day.
    • If you yourself can’t cope with your feelings and emotions, you can turn to a friend, sister, mother, psychologist for help. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It will be better than suffering and eating yourself from the inside.

    Being the mistress of a married man is not at all easy, because you have to be in constant tension, accumulate negativity inside yourself. In addition, if a woman loves herself and has an idea of ​​​​family values, she will not allow herself such weakness. You need to learn to respect yourself and other people.

Any act of a man depends on the upbringing, worldview and maturity of the individual.

A man who marries for love, with a sincere desire to create a strong family, is unlikely to change. Risking happiness that is built daily for the sake of an affair for a couple of months is an unjustified act that characterizes a man as an inferior partner.

A man who marries for the purpose of procreation is ready to protect his family, love and respect his wife, and protect the hearth. A loving husband has enough energy and love that his wife gives. The thought of a mistress is frightening: new habits, slips, forced purchases of gifts and reproaches for inattention are exhausting.

Variants of behavior of a male traitor

But still, some men continue to look for happiness on the side. American psychologist Dr. Ahronz claims that a married man does not admit to a new chosen one about the presence of marriage ties until he is caught in a lie. Under the circumstances, the man talks about his wife as something "secondary", trying to move the conversation to another topic.

  • "I'm going to file for divorce soon..."
  • "I want to divorce her for a long time,"
  • "A little more and I'll tell her about us."

One gets the feeling that we are talking about a distant relative or neighbor who interferes with hobbies. A married man appreciates a well-established life, where you do not need to live on emotions and do crazy things. An ingrained way of family life is necessary, and "silence" eliminates scandals. Women need to be careful and not delude ahead of time. A wife may be unloved, unwanted, and even unnecessary, but she and the family as a whole are a significant part of a man's life. Therefore, words about divorce are heard less and less over time. Here the woman must decide: to waste time and live in illusions, or to give up the role of the second plan.

The attitude of married men to sex

If a married man has a sexual relationship with another woman, he is driven by internal instability: the disunity of the desired and the real, the desire to get away from problems (conflicts in the family and at work, fatigue and lack of sexual satisfaction).

In the book by V.P. Sheinov “Man + Woman: to know and conquer”, the statistics of adultery, conducted by professor, psychologist and sociologist A.N. Zaitsev, is given. In the course of his research, it turned out that the motive for the crime of the threshold of adultery is the fading of love, the lack of mutual understanding, as well as dreams about adultery. For this reason, 60.7% of married men cheat on their spouses. The professor claims that a married man cheats on a physical level, without touching the spiritual level .

Married men have different attitudes towards relationships on the side. For one, family comfort, the warmth of domestic relationships and rare intimacy with his wife are the ultimate dream, for another, a high level of libido and a fading attraction to his wife are the starting point for finding a partner on the side.

Sex without obligation

On the one hand, it simplifies life if both partners have no feelings and are set up for one-time sex. However, in the field of bed relations there is a fine line. Psychologist Irina Udilova in the book "Secrets of a Happy Relationship ..." notes that any "fleeting" novels hold hope for development. Partners become attached to each other and think about a serious relationship. A married man who does not hide his status will warn with the phrases: “I am married” and “I am not looking for a serious relationship.” But for the sake of getting sexual release, he will speak words of love that are difficult for women to resist. But after sex, a man loses interest and becomes indifferent.

Falling in love with a married man

Each woman is endowed with individual attractiveness, natural feminine power. Psychologist and practitioner Irina Morozova argues: a woman should not spend energy on a man who is not striving to develop relationships. In order not to be in a destroyed, devastated state, a woman must listen to herself. Ask yourself: Why do I choose relationships that will not bring happiness? A few useful tips will help you avoid possible mistakes, understand yourself.

Remember what emotional state you were in at the time of meeting the chosen one. If it was a difficult period: parting, betrayal, or the desire to be at least with someone, think about the maturity of the feeling.

Women love with ears and eyes. It is easy for an experienced man to seduce, using charm to get what he wants. Women, especially young ones, confuse love with a fleeting infatuation: “You are the one I have dreamed of all my life!”. This is due to the susceptibility to beautiful words and courtship. Soberly assess the situation. Consider if your feelings are sincere or if it is an attraction. It is wiser to give up love obsession than to lose youth and full-fledged female happiness.

Analyze the situation of the "second plan woman"

To be a mistress is to occupy a secondary position in a man's life ("sit on the bench"). Not a single woman has yet admitted: “Yes, I do not expect good things from life”, “I am ready to be content with little”, “I do not pretend to have a real feeling.” By taking the position of a mistress, you put yourself in a frivolous position, give a man a reason to be superficial. A woman stepping over pride crushes female power. In an open relationship there is no happiness and no fullness of feelings.

Think about whether you will cause the destruction of a possibly happy family

Love takes you by surprise. Psychologist G. Newman claims that 70% of women, without hesitation, rush into the whirlpool. But everything has a limit, and even strong feelings are replaced by reason. Rare meetings and words of recognition will respond with pain not only in your heart, but also in the fate of your beloved family members. Remember, everything comes back in life.

Contact a psychologist

Sometimes it happens that a woman, having fallen in love with a married man, does not want to become the reason for a divorce. But the feelings don't go away. The period of falling in love in adulthood is experienced differently than in youth, when emotions are in full swing. A mature woman can be weak and misunderstood. Lack of emotional release and support will lower self-esteem. A good psychologist will listen and find a way out.

A young and unmarried woman enters into a relationship with a married man - a not uncommon phenomenon. At first, he likes it like no other. But to spend the rest of his life is hardly destined. In the book "The whole truth about male infidelity" G. Newman emphasizes: 3% of men leave the family for the sake of their mistress. In the current circumstances, you need to know a few points that will prevent unpleasant situations.

Find out what role you will play in this relationship.

An affair with a married man does not always involve mutual feelings. For one it is passion and love, for another it is entertainment. If you do not want to be deceived, find out what the man's goal is. Relationships like: there is no love, but he is rich and handsome - are tempting. But always remember that a smart woman is unlikely to be content with words and kisses, transgressing through her own dignity. A man who is not capable of sincere feelings will not make a woman happy.

He is smart, interesting and caring. It's just a ring on your finger. You didn’t even have time to understand how a small affair turned into a passionate romance, and you fell in love .. RF.

On this topic

Let's leave the moral: "Is this good or bad?" - or something from the series "Put yourself in the place of his wife, what would it be like for you?". First of all, let's look at possible options for the development of such relations: leave everything as it is; try to divorce him from his wife; break off relationships and look for a new love. Think about which of these is the most realistic and whether such a situation suits you. The next step is to figure out what the real reason for such a relationship is. Is it really love or something else?

Why do you need it?

Let's approach this issue with a cool head. Only in this way can the true cause be revealed. Therefore, turn off the “romantic dreams” mode and look at these relationships from the side of psychology. Many girls fall in love with married men, not only because you can’t command your heart. There may be completely different things behind this that do not immediately seem obvious.

self-affirmation

Some women choose married men as partners because they are not confident in themselves. The principle is this: in order to believe in one's own attractiveness, competition with another woman is required. This is such a way of self-affirmation: "He has a woman, and he chose me", "Such an experienced man drew attention to me." Try to imagine another man with a stamp in your passport in the place of your beloved. If it worked out, then this is an occasion to think about whether feelings are so strong and whether they exist at all.

Adrenalin

Sometimes romance with a married man is started by those who enjoy adrenaline: secret meetings and the constant feeling that you can be caught together. Answer yourself the question: what will happen if he decides to leave the family for you? Will the exciting feeling caused by the adrenaline rush disappear, and with it everything else?

Fear of a serious relationship

Perhaps, for some reason, a serious relationship scares you, and an affair with a married man is a kind of guarantee of “security”. After all, subconsciously you may feel that these relationships will never become serious. And your fear of strong feelings may simply not be realized. Listen to yourself: if he divorced his wife, would you feel truly happy?

Similarity to father

In such novels, girls may be attracted by the resemblance of the chosen one to the father. Especially when there is a significant age difference. This happens if in childhood a girl felt insecure or lacking a father. An affair with an accomplished man is a way to feel weak and protected.

Why is it for him?

It is important to understand not only your feelings, but also to understand why he needs this relationship.

Sexual fantasy for the captive

It could be his sexual fantasy. Putting it into practice, he feels that he is violating a certain prohibition, and this excites and excites him.

Looking for an emotional connection

Quite often, the cause of this behavior is the weakening of the emotional connection or its absence between him and his wife. He may look for in your relationship, for example, tenderness and care. But this does not mean that his family will fade into the background.

Raises self-esteem

He shows himself from a more favorable side. And, of course, this causes your admiration. A man is always looking for ways to increase his self-esteem, especially if he does not get it at home.

The illusion of choice

Your relationship for him is a way to escape reality. Run away from the comprehension that he is in a certain cage of family ties. This gives him a sense of freedom and that he is still free to make other choices.

Fell in love with a married man... Bite your elbows and sob into your pillow?

Develop a strategy to extract the desired man from the family?

Or enjoy the benefits?

This piquant and very common situation in modern realities has more than one logical resolution.

Everyone knows that cupids pierce the heart without thinking about all the complex ups and downs of the object's life. A heart wounded by love does not always hurt.

But in the case of passion for a person betrothed to another, not only the heart of the lover suffers. All life is ready to fall into the abyss.

Why do we love unavailable men?

  • When the one who “fell in love with him married” is under 30, the reason for a rash act may be psychological immaturity and unpreparedness for a full-fledged relationship.

Predilection for feeling with pepper, the desire to play with fate, a pronounced instinct of the Amazon and the predator. When you are under 30, you can quite afford to “make a mistake” and “break wood”.

  • Another thing is the age after 30. The same Balzac. It would seem that experience, worldly wisdom, and a sense of dignity have developed enough. An no. The alien soul is darkness, and the female one is the hopeless darkness of transcendental secrets.

After 30, a woman finally realizes her destiny. As well as recognizes all missed opportunities.

Lonely old age looms on the horizon, all worthy candidates have been dismantled. We have to win our place in space and time. You have to give in to your conscience.

The most comfortable situation has the following plot: a married woman fell in love with a married man. On an equal footing. with the same share of responsibility. With a covered back.

The main thing here is to skillfully balance on two fronts and not cause inconvenience to third objects. Such an idealistic combination is not often found. But the equation with a married and lonely young lady in love is one of the most dramatic and, unfortunately, the most popular situations.

What to do?

Decide on a goal. Do you want to “take away” someone else’s husband or do you want to get rid of traumatic relationships and not destroy the usual way of an established family.

It is not worth discussing the morality of the first option for a long time. Everyone has the right to a place under the hot sun of life. And if you are sure that the object of your love is the very ideal man, without whom your life will fade, go for it. Morality and ethics are irrelevant here.

How to "take away"

  1. Do not demand a divorce, just create the most comfortable conditions for him next to you.
  2. Be a great listener, an unobtrusive adviser, a moderately ardent lover, be interested in and get carried away by his hobby, harmoniously fit into his psychophysical space.
  3. Do not criticize - neither his wife, nor himself, generally forget about criticism for the entire period of "withdrawal".
  4. In no case do not create an emphasis on the sexual aspect.
  5. and manipulate its strengths and weaknesses.

And periodically ask yourself - does the goal correspond to the sacrifices spent?

Is the marriage of this married man really some kind of misunderstanding for both partners? Can you trust a man who abandoned his family? Are you ready to be in the place of an abandoned wife?

Often blinded by love, hormones, dreams, women in love forget about such a difficult reflection. Remember the folk wisdom about someone else's misfortune.

“I fell in love with a married man, what should I do? How to forget him? If a woman is internally aware of the pathological feelings, recognizes the impossibility of changing the situation, agrees with the “sinfulness” of such relationships, the object of love must be excluded from the emotional space.

  • Admit it, you hardly really like being an alternate airfield, Vasya in his iPhone and celebrating the New Year alone.
  • Is a man who sleeps with two women at the same time worthy of your sacrificial love? Or do you think that a healthy and sexually mature husband just "sleeps" with his wife? Imagine your ideal macho in a real bigamy situation. You are in the harem, and, unfortunately, you are in second place.
  • Don't make an idol out of him. God-man - from ancient Greek myths and legends. Your handsome prince in everyday life, and even in the role of your husband, is a completely different substance. Even Mayakovsky recognized the destructive power of everyday life.
  • Love yourself. Do not look for compensation in the form of a second half. You are a whole and harmonious person. And a worthy chosen one with this approach will definitely be attracted.

Falling in love with a married man is always a test. It must be overcome with dignity.

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Thank fate for the experience. Turn on self-esteem. And tear through the "pain" this painful connection.