Urgent psychological help: how to comfort a person in trouble correctly. Sometimes it is so necessary to be supported ...

09.07.2019

Each of us is sometimes sad. The day did not go well, everything is falling out of hand, or a black streak has come at all. At such moments, encouraging phrases can lift the mood a little. And it happens that we ourselves see people who need it. But it is not always possible to quickly find the right words. Well, it doesn't hurt to memorize a few phrases. It might come in handy someday.

For motivation

Encouraging phrases can often help you to perk up. A person needs motivation to do something. If your hands are lowered, you don't want to touch work and your only desire is to lie on the bed in front of the TV and wrap yourself in a blanket, it's time to remember the thoughtful phrases of famous people.

Nick Vuychich, who is an Australian writer, said: “When faced with difficulties, you cannot give up and run away. You need to assess the situation, start looking for a solution and not lose faith in the fact that everything that happens is for the better. Patience is the key to victory. "

The American philosopher is known for a shorter but no less truthful phrase. He argued that there should be no boundaries for people.

And the 25th President of the United States, assured that a person should believe that he can do anything, and halfway has already been passed.

For determination

Encouraging phrases can often get you started. William Clement Stone, a businessman and author of books on self-development, said that a clear goal is the first step to any achievement. Christopher Columbus, who discovered America, loved to assure that a person would never cross the ocean if he was afraid to lose sight of the coast.

Farrah Gray, a well-known businessman, investor and journalist, said that you should not be afraid to pursue your dreams. Otherwise, there is a great risk of being hired to fulfill other people's desires. And William James, an American philosopher and psychologist of the 19th century, was sure that in the subconscious of a person there is a force that can turn the whole world. Encouraging phrases like this one inspire thoughtful thinking and action, it is worth admitting.

To set the mood

Words can really mean a lot. And it is quite possible to cheer up with a phrase on a working day, even if he did not work out in the morning. Norma Jean Monterson (better known as Marilyn Monroe) once said: “Smile. After all, life is the most beautiful thing in the world. And there are plenty of reasons to smile. " After such words, one involuntarily ponders and understands that the actress was right.

But sometimes the sayings of celebrities sound like a lesson. In this case, humorous phrases will come to the rescue. There is nothing better to cheer up a person. You can say: "If there is nowhere worse, then it's time to start enjoying the prospect!" From such an expression, a person will at least smile. You can also say that a positive plus is always found, even in the most negative minus. And this, by the way, is a fact.

It's important to know

Sometimes our loved ones have problems in their lives. The mood rushes into the abyss, and it becomes painful to look at a loved one. And it is difficult to find the right expression that could demonstrate your attitude and feelings towards the situation. Especially often girls are interested in how to cheer up a man with words. Phrases cannot be universal, it all depends on a particular situation. But in any case, confessions of love will raise the mood at least a little. They are never superfluous.

When a person feels bad, the best thing a loved one can do is to demonstrate their feelings and thereby show concern.

Cheerful expressions

Continuing the theme of humor, other positive phrases can be noted with attention. In some situations, you can cheer up a loved one with the following expression: “The hardest thing in this life is the blue whale. And the rest is nonsense! " Another person will definitely smile after such a phrase: "When your business is going badly, it is better not to go with them."

Does a person gnaw at his conscience for a stormy rest and doing nothing? It happens. Then this instructive, but funny phrase for him: "Time spent with pleasure is not considered lost."

These words can also be classified as smart but positive expressions: “The best life teacher is experience. True, he charges a little, but he explains it clearly. " You can't argue with that.

Motivation in a foreign language

Finally, it is worth noting the attention of the encouraging phrases in English. They are more laconic than ours. Perhaps everyone knows the phrase "Why not?" And it is translated like this: "Why not?" But really! Why not? Many people who make this or that decision can be prompted to action by this very phrase. Because in context, it translates as follows: "What, in fact, are you losing?" And after this phrase you can send: "It" s worth a shot! " Which translates as: "It's worth it!"

And Americans often say the following phrase: "What are you waiting for?" Translated, it means: "What are you waiting for?" And the phrase "What do you have to lose?", By the way, is translated as follows: "What are you losing?" It should be noted that many foreign expressions aimed at motivating the interlocutor are constructed precisely in an interrogative form. Why? Because a sad / doubting person, having received a question from his interlocutor, subconsciously begins to reflect and find the right solution to a particular situation. And he understands that the opponent is right.

But there are also more artistic expressions. For example, these are: "Never give up!" (never give up), "It" s totally up to you! " (it all depends on you), “Follow your dreams,” etc. Finding the right words for a drooping friend can be really tricky, but expanding your vocabulary makes it easier.

In the life of every person, a variety of problems occur. And sometimes it can be very difficult to deal with them. A person is a social being, therefore, in difficult situations, he needs the help of other people. But it is necessary to provide support correctly, because words that are not in the subject can even more irritate the soul. Therefore, today on the pages of Popular About Health we are talking about how to cheer up men and women with words.

In different life situations, the words of support should be different. Let's try to consider several different life situations and various options for relevant phrases.

During illness

No one is immune from serious illness. We do not live in a fairy-tale world, when everything is beautiful and completely cloudless. Real life sometimes hits you in the head with serious diagnoses. And to support a person who has been captured by the disease, it is better to abandon the use of worn out clichés and give preference to warm phrases:

I'm very sorry that this happened. You can trust me.
- Count on me if you need support.
“You are actually very strong, and we can handle it.
- You can handle it, I believe in you.
- Doctors will definitely help you and take care of you.
- You always manage to cope with all adversity with humor, I admire it.
- Your illness will surely pass, and we can still go through a lot together.
“It’s perfectly normal that you’re afraid.” After all, you need to make the courage and win.

Phrases to cheer up a man

The stronger sex really needs support. And a loving woman can be the best support for him. In difficult life situations, a man needs to understand that you are for him. And for this you can use a variety of phrases:

I love you very much, regardless of the circumstances.
- I'm proud of you.
- You make the right decisions.
- I am happy that we are together (that I have you).
- You do a lot for me, and I will always support you.
“I have learned a lot from you.
- My dream is to grow old together, no matter what.
“I think we have a great future ahead of us.
- We can go through a lot, because we are together.
- Everything happens as it should. And I'm here to help you deal with this.
- Any problem can be a start for new beginnings.

Phrases to help cheer up a girl or woman

Girls are quite emotional, so they really need support. And at this time, it is better to refrain from criticism and try to return the wings to your beloved or girlfriend:

I admire you.
“You are surprisingly strong and resilient.
- You are not alone at all, I am here to help you.
- I really appreciate you, you can't even imagine how much.
- You make me better and stronger.
- I'm worried about you, but you will definitely succeed.
- It was not by chance that I appeared in your life, I will be your support and support.
“Your selfless love for the whole world delights me.

What words can help cheer yourself up?

Sometimes it is difficult to wait for support from others, and then you have to cheer yourself up on your own. Such a need may arise in moments of extreme despair and complete loneliness. What should I say to myself?

I am at home alone, so I must take care of myself and take care of myself.
- I am completely free to make decisions.
- All the minuses can be made as pluses.
- Only I build my life and fill it with what I want.
- I can deal with negative thoughts.
- Of course, this is not the easiest period in my life, but it will pass.
- Troubles are given in order to learn something new.
- Tomorrow the sun will definitely rise.

What other words can you use to cheer up a person?
Words for support should come from the heart, so you don't need to say something just to say. It is important to find an individual approach and read the emotions of a loved one. Indeed, despite the fact that we all experience grief and troubles similarly, reactions to different events and phrases may differ slightly.

Thus, aggression becomes a natural reaction to adversity. Even the softest people are angry and offended by the whole world, so it is important for them that their emotions are treated with understanding, not offended and not angry in return. When a loved one is in grief, you need to get in touch with him more often, not to allow loneliness and self-reflection. But if a person wants to be himself, to think about what happened, you need to give him such an opportunity and emphasize that we are ready to come to his aid at any time.

In any life situation, you can use the phrases:

I understand that it's hard for you.
- You are hurt and sad, this is normal.
- You feel confused.

For many to successfully experience the hardships of life, they need to speak out, say what happened a hundred times, cry for their pleasure and suffer. In this case, you need to be a vest and calmly listen and help in expressing emotions. In this case, any advice and comments are not needed.

For other people, on the contrary, it is better to be distracted from sad thoughts, not to be constantly grinding their own troubles in their heads. They need to be brought out in every possible way to conversations on extraneous topics, try to discuss pressing issues with them and involve them in urgent activities.

Support can be more than just words. Many people in a period of grief and troubles need help in solving everyday issues. You can also distract a person from their thoughts by engaging in work or playing sports. But you do not need to be intrusive, it is important to see the line between help and sabotage.

To begin with, understand and accept one thing: even if you have known each other for a long time and you know a person as flaky, now this does not mean at all that his behavior will correspond to your expectations. “There are some general stages in the experience of grief. You may well be guided by them, remembering, of course, that each of us still needs an individual approach, ”explains psychologist Marianna Volkova.

Our experts:

Anna Shishkovskaya
Nina Rubshtein Gestalt Center psychologist

Marianna Volkova
Practicing psychologist, specialist in family and individual psychology

How to support a person if they are in shock

Stage # 1: usually a person is in complete shock, confusion and simply cannot believe in the reality of what is happening.

What should I say. If you are really close friends, it is best for you to be there, not counting on your phone, Skype or SMS. For some people, tactile contact is very important, the ability to see the interlocutor in front of you. “At this time, conversations and attempts to express condolences are not needed,” Marianna Volkova is sure. - None. Therefore, if your friend asks you to stay close and at the same time refuses to communicate, do not try to make him talk. Contrary to your expectations, it won't get any easier for him. It is worth talking about what happened only when the loved one is ready for it. In the meantime, you can hug, sit next to, hold your hand, stroke the head, bring tea with lemon. All conversations - strictly on business or on abstract topics. "

What to do. The loss of a loved one, sudden terrible illnesses and other blows of fate involve not only reflection, but also many worries. Do not think that it is easy to provide this kind of assistance. It takes a lot of emotional commitment and is very exhausting. How to support a person in such a situation? First, ask how you can be of help. Much depends on the state of your friend. You may have to take on organizational issues: call, find out, negotiate. Or give the unfortunate person a sedative. Or wait with him in the doctor's waiting room. But, as a rule, it is enough to at least deal with everyday issues: to put things in order, wash the dishes, prepare food.

How to support a person if he is acutely worried

Stage 2: accompanied by acute feelings, resentment, misunderstanding and even aggression.

What to do. It is clear that it is difficult to communicate at this moment. But right now, a friend needs attention and support. Try to come more often, to be in touch if he was left alone. You can invite him to visit for a while. It is important to clearly understand whether you are ready for this mentally.

Condolences

“Most people, when expressing condolences, use common phrases that do not carry any meaning. Actually, this is a manifestation of politeness and nothing more. But when it comes to a loved one, you need more than a formality. There is, of course, no template that fits every situation. But there are things that are definitely not worth saying, ”says Marianna Volkova.

If you don't know what to say, be quiet. Better to hug one more time, show that you are there and at any time ready to help.
Avoid phrases like “everything will be fine”, “everything will pass” and “life goes on”. You seem to be promising good things, but only in the future, not now. Such conversations are annoying.
Try not to ask unnecessary questions. The only relevant in this situation: "How can I help?" Everything else will wait.
Never say words that might devalue the importance of what happened. "And someone can't walk at all!" - this is not a consolation, but a mockery for a person who has lost, say, an arm.
If your goal is to give a friend moral support, first of all, you yourself must behave stoically. Sobbing, lamenting and talking about the injustice of life is unlikely to calm you down.

How to support someone if they are depressed

Stage 3: at this time, the person comes to the realization of what happened. Expect depression and depression from your friend. But there is good news: he begins to understand that he needs to somehow move on.

What should I say. We are all different, so the best thing you can do is ask what exactly your loved one expects from you.

Some need to talk about what happened.“There are people who, in a difficult situation, need to speak out loud their emotions, fears and worries. A friend does not need condolences, your task is to listen. You can cry or laugh with him, but you shouldn't give advice and put in your own five kopecks in every possible way, ”advises Marianna Volkova.
Someone needs a distraction to get over grief. You are required to talk on extraneous topics, involve a person in solving some issues. Invent urgent matters that require full concentration of attention and constant employment. Do everything so that your friend has no time to think about what he is trying to run away from.
There are people who prefer loneliness in difficult life situations - this way it is easier for them to cope with their emotions. If a friend tells you that he doesn't want any contact yet, the worst thing you can do is try to get into his soul with the best intentions. Simply put, forcibly "doing good". Leave the person alone, but be sure to make it clear that you are there and at any time ready to provide all possible help.

What to do.

In the first case, you often need help of a domestic nature, especially if your loved one is not one of those who easily negotiate, communicate and can easily choose the best of several options offered.
You need to help your friend step back a little from what happened. If you are connected with work issues, you can carry out distractions in this direction. A good option is playing sports. The main thing is not to torment yourself and his grueling workouts, but to choose what you like. You can go to the pool, court or yoga together. The goal is to try to have fun.
In the third case, you only need what you are asked for. Don't insist on anything. Invite them to "go out and unwind" (what if they agree?), But always leave the choice to the person and do not be intrusive.

How to support a person when they have already experienced grief

Stage 4: This is the adaptation period. We can say - rehabilitation.

What should I say. It was at this time that a person re-establishes contacts, communication with others gradually takes on its usual form. Now a friend may need parties, travel and other attributes of life without mourning.

What to do. “If your friend is quite ready to communicate, there is no need to try to somehow behave“ correctly ”in his company. You should not try to forcibly cheer, shake and bring to life. At the same time, one should not avoid direct glances, sit with a sour face. The more familiar you create the atmosphere, the easier it will be for a person, ”Marianna Volkova is sure.

A visit to a psychologist

Whichever stage a person is in, friends sometimes try to provide help that is not needed. For example, they can be forcibly sent to a psychologist. You will have to be especially careful here, because sometimes it is necessary, and sometimes it is completely unnecessary.

“Experiencing misfortune, sadness is a natural process that, as a rule, does not need professional help,” says psychologist Anna Shishkovskaya. - There is even a term "work of grief", the healing effect of which is possible provided that a person allows himself to go through all the stages. However, this is precisely what becomes a problem for many: to allow oneself to feel, to meet with experiences. If we try to "run away" from strong, unpleasant emotions, ignore them - the "work of grief" is disturbed, "getting stuck" at any of the stages can occur. Then the help of a psychologist is really needed. "

Cons of support

The tragedy experienced sometimes gives people a reason to manipulate others. This, of course, is not about the first, most difficult period. But you may be required to be constantly present for a long time... Your personal life, work, desires will not be taken into account. Let's say you invite a friend to stay with you for a while - a fairly common practice. But all the agreed terms have passed long ago, and the person continues to visit. You are silent, because it is impolite to say about the inconvenience, but the natural result will be a damaged relationship.

The financial issue is no less important. It happens that time passes, everything that was needed has been done, and the need for investment does not disappear. And you, by inertia, continue to give money, being afraid to refuse. " I noticed that you are beginning to sacrifice yourself and your interests, which means that there is a reason to talk and clarify the situation, - reminds Anna Shishkovskaya. - Otherwise, the accumulated resentment and resentment will one day provoke a serious conflict with mutual claims. It would be nice not to lead to a scandal, but to outline the boundaries in time ”.

Personal dramas are just one of the very troubles in which friends are known. And your behavior during this period will certainly affect your relationship in one way or another. Therefore, rushing to help is worth it only if you sincerely want it.

Even the strongest of us often need words of support. Everyone has periods when companionship is needed. This article contains words and ideas that will become an impulse to help evaluate the current situation from a different point of view.

Unfortunately, we do not know how to speak words of support. Most of us exist in the fairy-tale worlds of social networks or television series, where everything is beautiful, cloudless and always with a happy ending. But real life is far from ideal worlds.

If you need to support someone struggling with an illness, avoid clichés. They are deprived of the human warmth that your counterpart needs so much.

So, words of support for a sick person:

You can always count on me.
I'm sorry about what happened. I'm here to help.
I just want to remind you how strong / strong you are.
I believe in you.
Listen to the advice of doctors and take care of yourself.
I have always admired / admired your talent for overcoming adversity with grace and humor.
All that we have left in the past, and what awaits us in the future - all this is immeasurably small compared to what is contained in our real ( Ralph Waldo Emerson).
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the creator calls a butterfly ( Richard Bach).
The soul would not have a rainbow if there were no tears in the eyes ( Beth Mende Connie).
The stars can only be seen when it is dark enough ( Ralph Waldo Emerson).
Sleep, wealth and health must be interrupted so that we can truly enjoy them ( Johann Paul Friedrich Richter).
With our sorrow and anxiety, we deprive our tomorrow of any opportunity to be. We just don't have the strength for him ( Corrie Ten Boom).
Your illness is just one chapter, but not the whole story.

Phrases and words to cheer up a man, a guy: a list

When talking to a man, remember to add sugar to everything you say. And take the salt out of everything he tells you.

Try the following affirmations:

I love you today more than ever before.
Your decisions, hard work, loving and generous heart fill me with pride.
Even if we are not together, we will always be one team.
I'm happy that I have you.
You do so much for my happiness, let me support you.
I'll always be there for you. And I will go where you take me.
It is an honor for me to be by your side.
I learned a lot from you.
Whatever happens, I want to grow old by your side.
I think that fate has big plans for me. This is why she gave you to me.
Hard times don't matter if we're together.
Everything will be as it should be. Even if it is different.
Each finish is a start for something completely new.

Phrases and words to cheer up a girl, a woman: a list

Women are more emotional and need more support. There is no need to criticize her or her actions at this moment.

Try to return the wings to the woman:

If my every thought of you turned into a flower, you would find yourself in the Garden of Eden.
You can't even imagine how much I appreciate you.
You are not alone even when you think you are.
Thank you for being there.
I admire your talent for painting life with bright colors.
I admire the unselfish love that you give to the world.
You are a ray of sunshine in my life.
Next to you, I feel loved, protected and understood. Thank you for that.
Fate knew that I would need support and support in this life and sent you to me.
Your attitude towards me makes me become better than I am.

Phrases and words to cheer yourself up: list

I am alone / alone.
I am free / free to make decisions.
Any "minus" can always be turned into a "plus".
I am the architect of my life. I lay the foundation and choose the content.
I am above negative thoughts and low actions.
Everything that happens to me now is happening for my ultimate benefit.
Although this period of my life is not the easiest one, it is only a short segment of my life path.
The sun will rise tomorrow too. Despite everything.
Even in trouble, there is always something useful and important for you.

How to cheer up a man, a guy, a person with words who works hard and is tired at work?

Gender roles in the family are changing. Nevertheless, we live in a rather patriarchal society, where the man remains the main earner in the family.

The basis, which is quite enough for happiness: sunlight, water, rest, air, physical activity. And all this is not worth a dime. Think about it. Pause. Be happy.
The world can wait. Do not rush. Recover.
Your hard work, loving and generous heart fill me with gratitude.
I don’t think we would like to do much if we did not feel tired ( Clive Staples Lewis).
Life is difficult. First you get tired of work, and then from the fact that it is not.
The road will be mastered by the walking one. We will walk our path together.
I really appreciate what you do for me (us).

How to cheer up a man, guy, person, girl in depression with words?

Depression is difficult to fight alone. Simple but sincere words can make a difference. But there should be no pity in these words. Only love, support and understanding.

Most likely, the problem won't go away within 24 hours. But in 24 hours your attitude to this problem can change. Let's change this together. You can always count on my help.
Life inflicts the most painful blows on us. That is why you need to learn to take a punch. I will study with you. Let's think about where we start.
My words may not lighten your burden, but I am here and you are not alone / alone.
You are stronger and bolder than you think, and more loved than you can imagine.
The most powerful people are not those who demonstrate strength in front of others, but those who win battles about which we know nothing.
No one is ever too old, too bad, too sick, or too stupid to start over (Bikram Chowdhury).
Even if you stumbled and fell, you still moved forward.
No one can go back in time and rewrite the beginning of history. But everyone can change the current moment and change the final part of the story.

How to cheer up a man, guy, person, girl during an illness with words?

I cannot imagine what your next days (months) will be, but I intend to be by your side all this time.
There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear means that you are ready to do something really bold - to win.

You will find more affirmations on this topic at the beginning of the article.

If the person is upset, how do you cheer them up? How to cheer a friend up with words?

I can’t take it for you. But I can live it with you. Together we can do everything.
Chaos and troubles precede great changes.
Remember any unpleasant story that disturbed you recently. Does she still bother you?
Build a solid foundation of stones that throw ill-wishers at you.

Above in the text, you will find many other interesting quotes, aphorisms and affirmations.

Video: How to help a friend if he is depressed? # 6 // Psychology What?

We all know how hard it is to be in a situation where you need to comfort someone, but the right words are not found.

Fortunately, more often than not, people don't expect specific advice from us. It is important for them to feel that someone understands them, that they are not alone. So first, just describe how you feel. For example, with the help of such phrases: "I know that it is very difficult for you now", "I am sorry that it is so difficult for you." So you will make it clear that you really see what it is like for a loved one now.

2. Confirm that you understand these feelings.

But be careful, do not draw all the attention to yourself, do not try to prove that it was even worse for you. Briefly mention that you have also found yourself in a similar situation before, and ask in more detail about the state of the person you are comforting.

3. Help a loved one understand the problem

Even if a person is looking for ways to resolve a difficult situation, at first he just needs to speak out. This is especially true for women.

So wait to suggest solutions to the problem and listen. This will help the person you are comforting to sort out their feelings. After all, sometimes it is easier to understand your own experiences by telling others about them. Answering your questions, the interlocutor himself can find some solutions, understand that everything is not as bad as it seems, and just feel relieved.

Here are some phrases and questions you can use in this case:

Tell me what happened.
Tell me what's bothering you.
What led to this?
Help me understand how you feel.
What scares you the most?

At the same time, try to avoid questions with the word "why", they are too similar to condemnation and will only anger the interlocutor.

4. Do not minimize the suffering of the interlocutor and do not try to make him laugh.

When we are faced with the tears of a loved one, we, quite naturally, want to cheer him up or convince him that his problems are not so terrible. But what we ourselves feel is a trifle can often upset others. Therefore, do not minimize the other person's suffering.

What if someone is really worried about a trifle? Ask if there is any data that disagrees with his view of the situation. Then offer your opinion and share an alternative way out. It is very important here to clarify whether they want to hear your opinion, without this it may seem too aggressive.

5. Offer physical support if appropriate

Sometimes people do not want to talk at all, they just need to feel that there is a loved one nearby. In such cases, it is not always easy to decide how to behave.

Your actions should correspond to the usual behavior with this or that person. If you are not too close, placing your hand on your shoulder or hugging slightly will be enough. Also look at the behavior of the other person, perhaps he himself will make it clear what he needs.

Remember not to be too zealous when comforting: your partner may take this for flirting and be offended.

6. Suggest ways to solve the problem

If the person only needs your support and not specific advice, the above steps may be sufficient. By sharing your concerns, the other person will feel relieved.

Ask if you can do something else. If the conversation takes place in the evening, and most often it does, offer to go to bed. As you know, the morning is wiser than the evening.

If your advice is needed, ask first if the other person has any ideas. Decisions are made more readily when they come from someone who is himself in a disputable situation. If the person you are comforting is vague about what can be done in their situation, help develop specific steps. If he doesn't know what to do at all, suggest your options.

If the person is sad not because of any particular event, but because of his, immediately move on to discussing specific actions that can help. Or suggest doing something like going for a walk together. Excessive reflections will not only not help get rid of depression, but, on the contrary, will aggravate it.

7. Promise to continue supporting

At the end of the conversation, be sure to mention again that you understand how hard it is for a loved one now, and that you are ready to continue to support him in everything.