Banning HIV-infected people from adopting children. "A special child is looking for a family": Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV)
Children with immunodeficiency virus in Moscow are more likely to be adopted than healthy ones
Blue-eyed, playful, funny and very touching. In general, children are like children. Unless they look intently and, unlike their peers, are more and more silent, because they are not used to shouting over trifles. Such calmness, however, is characteristic of all orphans.
In the specialized orphanage No. 7, which is located in Sokolniki, today there are 39 wards under the age of 3-4 years. Children are like children. They have only one peculiarity: they are all born to HIV-infected mothers.
Some have already been diagnosed, others have not yet determined their HIV status. These children, even more than others, need motherly warmth and parental care.
And today Moscow has reached the point that more than 60% of HIV-infected children find families. This is a really high result, which, unfortunately, has not yet been achieved by any region of the country.
Mother can quit, the city can't
According to the head physician of the orphanage # 7 Viktor Kreidich, most of the babies admitted here are barely one month old. Some mothers refuse right in the maternity hospital, others are thrown in, others (these are already older children) are removed by the guardianship from dysfunctional families, and the fourth have their parents dead.
However, we must pay tribute to many HIV-infected mothers: despite the diagnosis of the baby, very few people abandoned their sick child. Doctors say that an accurate diagnosis of a woman born to an HIV-infected mother can only be made at the age of 6 months. Therefore, when abandoning newborn babies, mothers never know for sure whether the virus was transmitted to their baby.
REFERENCE "MK"
Today, 374 HIV-infected children are officially registered in Moscow, of which 100 are orphans.
Some cuckoo mothers (albeit very, very rarely) eventually pick up abandoned children from the baby's house. Employees of the institution recall that over the years of its existence, there were only a few such cases. One mom took the baby very quickly, because she was practically a child herself and did not understand what she had done. As soon as I finished school, I came for the baby.
Another mother - a citizen of another state - took a long time to restore documents. And when she finally found them, she took her child.
And dad took another baby - his wife died of AIDS, and the only thing left in her memory is a child whom she did not want to recognize ...
The administration immediately transmits information about all children admitted to the orphanage to the guardianship and guardianship authorities, so that they, in turn, begin to look for foster families for them. And this system in Moscow is debugged and works like a Swiss watch. Therefore, there is a queue for the adoption of some children, despite their diagnosis.
Today, out of 39 small wards of orphanage No. 7, eight are about to go to families. But even a few years ago, such a diagnosis frightened off many. Some were convinced that such children should not be hugged or kissed - even being in the same room with them is dangerous! And such ignorant people were encountered not only among potential adoptive parents - even among medical workers, doctors note with bitterness.
But today people began to learn more about this disease and understand that with proper care, and most importantly, with the constant observance of the doctor's instructions and taking medications, such children have a chance to live to a ripe old age and see their grandchildren.
In addition, earlier potential adoptive parents were afraid that the state would "throw" them: they would not fulfill their promises to provide such children with free expensive drugs and other treatment. However, today practically no one has such fears. After all, the city has been fulfilling its obligations to HIV-infected people for more than 20 years, and no complaints have been received during this time. According to the law, they all receive everything that is due to HIV-infected children.
- All orphans with such a diagnosis in Moscow receive medical care in full, there are absolutely no problems. And all laws are being followed. And according to the law, HIV-infected children have the same rights as healthy ones. They have the right to be treated in any medical institution, to study without isolation from other children. Both medical and educational institutions accept them in the capital without any opposition, ”says Yulia Vlatskaya, head of the pediatric service at the Moscow City AIDS Center. - HIV-infected children living in families study in the most ordinary schools - and no one ever gives their diagnoses.
For such children, the Moscow City AIDS Center has a wonderful polyclinic, a hospital equipped with the latest technology, and excellent laboratories. There are never any problems with their drug supply. Unless they are created ... by the adoptive parents or guardians themselves.
Traditional medicine can kill HIV-infected children
What is there to hide: the motivation of people who are going to adopt a child with a rather serious diagnosis can be different. There are also absolute altruists who fall in love with a baby at first sight and are ready to take and raise him, no matter what the difficulties. They absolutely do not care whether the diagnosis is confirmed or not. Some people are driven by a desire to help their neighbor - and they adopt such children quite consciously, but, unfortunately, there are those who pursue selfish goals.
- Today, according to the law, an HIV-infected child has the status of "disabled since childhood." And this is a completely ordinary little person who does not lie, does not require constant care, can serve himself. At the same time, the allowance for him is very decent. And besides, guardians or adoptive parents receive various benefits - for housing and communal services, travel by public transport, etc. The Moscow authorities have created the most comfortable conditions to encourage people to adopt children with HIV. And today some take care of 3-4 such children. But, unfortunately, there are people who are driven exclusively by mercantile interests. We, of course, immediately see such people. And some of them receive refusals from the guardianship authorities. However, on the other hand, sometimes there is absolutely nothing wrong with even a financial interest in this matter. If the family looks after the child, he is clean, tidy, the parents, as expected, come for an examination every three months, take all the tests, receive medications, and the child shows that he is happy, we are only happy. Take, for example, the rational approach "in the American way": there are no orphanages in the United States, adoptive parents are paid there, - says Yulia Vlatskaya.
Perhaps American rationalism really does have common sense, and that this approach is the future? In Russia, unfortunately, there are still infectious diseases hospitals, which, instead of doing everything to find a family for the children, in violation of not only common sense, but also the existing legislation, contain children up to school age, arousing the affection of foreign sponsors. This is a question for the ombudsmen for the rights of the child, for whom HIV-infected children seem to be a closed topic.
Although very rare, there are still families where adopted children do not feel very well. Such children look depressed, downtrodden, persecuted. Shows parental "care" and appearance: if children come to the doctor's office in dirty clothes, unkempt, unwashed, the family is immediately put on a pencil in the guardianship and guardianship authorities and in the Moscow City AIDS Center.
- There was such a case - children from a guardian family were admitted to the hospital with head lice. They looked absolutely downtrodden. They had intellectual retardation and puberty. During conversations with a psychologist, it turned out that they live in a family completely isolated: they have a separate toothbrush in a bag, they are never allowed to sit at a common table, their adoptive parents' own children treat them with disdain. We seriously examined this case. Now this family is under our close supervision, - says Dr. Vlatskaya.
Unfortunately, there are also parents who, after reading on the Internet or listening to not very smart people, decide to stop treating a child with drugs prescribed by a doctor. And instead, they begin to stuff him with folk remedies, take him to healers, village grandmothers and all sorts of charlatans. As a result, the state of health of children begins to deteriorate sharply, in addition, multidrug resistance (multiple resistance) to the drugs that they have taken earlier can form.
- The adoptive parents who make such a decision must clearly understand what a serious responsibility it is to take on the upbringing of a child with a deadly disease. After all, the lack of specific antiretroviral therapy seriously increases the risk of death. The maximum age to which an HIV-infected child can live without treatment is 10-12 years. This is a particularly vulnerable category of children, and if guardians or parents take responsibility for refusing treatment, they must understand that they are endangering the lives of their adopted children, says Yulia Fedorovna.
When doctors faced several cases of such irresponsible behavior of adoptive parents and guardians, it became quite obvious that it was time to introduce stricter requirements for potential parents of HIV-infected children. “The selection has become better; we have long, deep conversations with all people who wish to adopt or take care of our little patients. If we suddenly identify families where sick children have stopped receiving treatment, we apply strict sanctions, up to and including deprivation of custody. All families (and there are 3-4 of them today), where such cases occurred, are now under our control, ”says Dr. Vlatskaya.
Thank God, it has not yet come to the removal of such children from families. Nevertheless, if necessary, doctors are ready to do this, just to save the lives of children.
Unfortunately, there were two returns of children by adoptive parents back to orphanages. In the first case, the family returned the child almost immediately, so that he did not even have time to understand anything. The second story turned out to be much more tragic: the girl, who was adopted at the age of three, lived in the family for three whole years. However, then the adoptive parents suddenly decided that they could no longer withstand this, and, like a kitten, they returned her back, without even bothering to explain the reasons. This happened in January this year. And until now, the girl is in deep stress: doctors do not know how to get her out of this state. The child periodically experiences neurosis-like states, and this, alas, affects the quality of treatment for her underlying disease. Well, only God will judge such "parents".
They are looking for a family!
The first child with HIV infection in Moscow was born in 1996. Today he is all right, he is already 16 years old, and he knows about his diagnosis.
The first case of adoption of a child born of an HIV-infected woman in the city took place in 1997. This girl subsequently turned out to be completely healthy.
And the first case of adoption of a child with established HIV infection was in 1999, after the intervention of the Moscow government in this situation. In those years, there were still very few such children. However, it subsequently became much more.
Experts noted a wave of interest in children with such a diagnosis in 2006 - then two children went to a foster family at once. Since then, it has become more and more willing to adopt or take care of HIV-infected children.
“We are finishing this year with very good indicators - such children are taken into families very actively, with great desire,” says Yulia Vlatskaya with pride.
For example, over all the years, 85 HIV-infected children have attended specialized orphanage # 7. 70 of them have already left the walls of this institution. And of these, 48 (that is, 68%) went to families. Well, this year 13 babies parted from the orphanage, and 11 of them were adopted or taken under guardianship. As for foreign adoptive parents, in the capital they are checked much more stringently than Russian ones.
About 68% of children who fall into families are taken under guardianship, 25% adopt, and another 7% return to their own families. However, in this case, children under guardianship are adopted after a while in most cases.
As we wrote above, today the requirements for future guardians and adoptive parents have been tightened. Recently, candidates have to undergo compulsory training in foster schools. In the classroom, you can get complete information about the peculiarities of caring for HIV-infected children. Basically, there are no symptoms of HIV infection. And if a child receives the treatment prescribed by a doctor, he will not be completely different from his peers.
And yet, some restrictions in the life of adoptive parents (guardians) with the appearance of such children in their families, of course, appear. For example, it is contraindicated for HIV-infected children to rest in hot countries. If they are going on a long journey, they will have to stock up on a large first-aid kit and never miss taking medications. Therefore, guardians and adoptive parents must realize how great a responsibility it is to take on the upbringing of such a specific child.
“In the very procedure for registering custody or adoption of HIV-infected children today in Moscow there is nothing different from a similar procedure for healthy children left without parental care,” says Yulia Vlatskaya.
Sometimes with adoptive parents or guardians HIV-infected children live much better than those who remain with asocial parents. Today in our state they believe that a child should be brought up in a family - whatever it may be. And sometimes it takes years and tons of various letters to authorities to remove a seriously ill baby from a drug addict mother and alcoholic father. “Sometimes we are in complete despair and no longer know what to do to protect children from the terrible families in which they live. We do not even know how much more evidence is required and letters written, - says Yulia Vlatskaya.
The adoption rate in the specialized orphanage No. 7 is today the highest among all the orphanages in Moscow. People of all kinds take such children into their families: both rich and poor. Drawing an average portrait of an adoptive parent is not easy. These are people of various professions, but, as a rule, from the intelligentsia - teachers, psychologists, lawyers ... Two children were adopted by nurses from orphanage No. 7.
To a greater extent, couples a little over 30 years old come for such kids. But there are also single mothers. But what is there - recently, a baby with HIV infection was adopted by a single man. This is his first child. Grandparents are completely happy! And a foundling baby with Vietnamese features, which the nurses at the hospital gave a biblical name, was recently adopted by a large family. And the determining factor in the choice was just the name of the baby, which they considered a good sign. Thanks to the sisters!
Unfortunately, there are still many children who are expecting to be adopted someday. Therefore, if you suddenly have such a desire, think it over carefully - and dare. At least, the authorities never interfere with the sincere desire of people to give a family to orphans, whatever their diagnoses.
IF YOU WANT TO ADOPT AN HIV-INFECTED CHILD, then there is no difference in the procedure for collecting documents, in contrast to the adoption of an uninfected child:
Go to the federal website www.usynovite.ru, where there is a complete database of orphans in the Russian Federation, including Moscow. In addition, here you can find information on all forms of family placement of children. However, keep in mind that when it comes to children with HIV infection, the priority forms of placement in families are custody and adoption.
Contact the guardianship and guardianship authorities at your place of residence, where specialists will help you decide what form of child care you are ready for.
Those who have decided to accept a child into their family need to collect the following documents:
■ a medical report on the state of health, which, among other things, should contain information about the absence of socially significant diseases in you, which, alas, include HIV infection;
■ a certificate from the place of work indicating the position and earnings or a declaration of income - this is necessary to confirm your material security;
■ an extract from the house register (to confirm the fact that you have a place of residence);
■ a certificate from the Ministry of Internal Affairs about the absence of a potential adoptive parent (guardian) conviction for serious crimes;
■ marriage certificate (if the prospective adoptive parent or guardian is married).
4. The collected documents are submitted for consideration to the guardianship and trusteeship authorities, which must make an opinion on the candidate's possibility to be an adoptive parent (guardian). Perhaps officials will decide to check your income information or come with an inspection to your home to check your living conditions.
5. If the guardianship and trusteeship authorities make a positive decision, you will be registered as candidates for adoption (registration of guardianship).
6. The stage of selection of the child begins (if you have not yet had time to select him from the data bank).
7. Before meeting with an HIV-infected child, parents should meet with a psychologist who will tell you about the peculiarities of such children, as well as if they intend to adopt or take care of an HIV-infected child in Moscow with a specialist (pediatrician) who will see the child according to HIV infection.
8. You will be offered to meet with the child - most likely in a separate room of the orphanage. A psychologist will supervise the meeting. The orphanage will provide you with complete information about the child's health.
9. Your documents will go to court, which must satisfy (or refuse) your adoption claim. As a rule, if everything is in order with the documents, the courts make positive decisions.
10. It remains to draw up documents in the registry office and pick up the baby.
BETWEEN
In total, there are three specialized institutions in the capital for HIV-infected orphans. Those who did not get into the family from the orphanage No. 7 are transferred to the orphanage No. 48, where they will be brought up on an equal basis with healthy children. Of course, it is difficult to hide information about such a diagnosis in a close group of growing up children (although, by law, it constitutes the subject of medical secrecy), but nevertheless, children here do not make any tragedy out of it. Moreover, adults explain to them that there is no danger of getting infected even with close contact.
“The routes of transmission of HIV infection have long been known and confirmed: sexual transmission, blood and blood replacement fluid transfusion, from mother to child during pregnancy, as well as injection,” explains Yulia Vlatskaya.
In addition, there is a specialized boarding school No. 15 in the city, where a small group of HIV-infected children with organic brain lesions is located.
Most of the people who are ready to take a child into their family today were born in the USSR, and remember well how, at the end of the Soviet era, these three terrible letters came to our vocabulary: HIV. Then they sounded like a sentence, tragic and merciless. That is why most of our fellow citizens now find it so difficult to believe that over the past 20 years, humanity has made a breakthrough in the treatment of the virus, bringing the life expectancy of people with HIV to the level of healthy people. So the main challenge that parents of a child with HIV will inevitably face is not a virus at all, but fears and stereotypes that are rooted in society.
Photo ug-mama.ru
Strictly scientific
Human Immunodeficiency Virus is a virus that originated in West Africa less than a hundred years ago, began to spread around the planet in the 70s, and was isolated by scientists in 1983. By the early 1990s, when the World Health Organization (WHO) developed a clinical classification of HIV infection, the disease had already spread to Central Asia, Europe and the United States. However, about 20 years ago, doctors managed to start containing the epidemic in these regions of the planet.
In the same years, scientists developed drugs that effectively suppress HIV in the human body. A complex of three to four such inhibitor drugs is called highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART). This method allows an HIV-infected person to live for many years - up to the age of average life expectancy in their country.
Almost 60 million people have become infected with HIV over the years of the epidemic, but most of them live in countries of Africa, where the epidemic continues to rage: 67% of all people living with HIV live there, and 91% of all new infections among children are registered.
Globally, the HIV epidemic has stabilized long ago: since 1997, the number of new infections has decreased, and since 2003, the number of deaths from HIV-related diseases has begun to decrease. According to official data, about 645 thousand people with HIV live in Russia, including about 6 thousand children under 14 years of age.
"Chronic illness"
Most often, HIV is transmitted through unprotected sex, as well as through injecting drug use, blood transfusion, breastfeeding, during pregnancy and childbirth. By the way, not all children whose mothers have been infected with HIV are subsequently diagnosed with HIV infection - only in 15-23%. But until the age of two, doctors cannot say finally whether the baby is healthy or not - the fact is that maternal antibodies remain in the child's body for almost 24 months after birth.
"Ways of HIV transmission" - a TV show from the cycle "School of Doctor Komarovsky"
The virus, contrary to stereotypes, is not transmitted by airborne droplets, through saliva and by household means, through insect bites. Often ordinary people, speaking of a person with HIV, use the term AIDS - Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. This is incorrect, since AIDS is only one of the stages of the infectious process of a slowly progressing disease. Moreover - the terminal (dying) stage. And even in the absence of HAART, the path from HIV infection to the AIDS stage takes 9-11 years. With antiretroviral therapy - up to 80 years.
Perhaps it would not be a strong exaggeration to say that thanks to HAART, HIV infection today is not a fatal, but a common chronic disease. People with HIV, who are seen by their doctor and who take their prescribed medications on time, feel normal for a long time and do not experience any health problems. People with HIV can have healthy children. People with HIV can live long lives, grow old and leave this world without ever reaching the AIDS stage.
- The treatment should reach the maximum number of people. And then the possibility of HIV transmission from person to person will drop. Drug therapy reduces the amount of virus, and as a result, the degree of infectiousness tends to zero. And therefore, the more people will be covered by therapy, the significantly less transmission will be. Even in third world countries, there are now very high-level physicians who receive assistance in drug therapy from various foundations. And so a year ago, WHO for the first time announced a decrease in the estimated number of deaths from AIDS in the world - this happened due to the organization of treatment, primarily in Africa. It's simple - a low concentration of the virus is created, and as a result, what is called AIDS, when special diseases appear at a low level of immunity, is recorded much less often. In Russia, the highest peak of secondary diseases was in 1996-1997. And therapy, when there was massive coverage, began in 1996. Now the number of patients with secondary diseases that accompany HIV infection has decreased by an order of magnitude. About half of the people who are registered receive medicines, and the rest simply do not need them.
Plus signs in society
"Plus" in the professional environment is called children with HIV + status, that is, those whose HIV test gave a positive result. There is nothing positive, except for the name, in this result - "plus" means that the infection has been detected.
And so, from this moment - the moment of establishing the diagnosis - a new phase in the child's life begins, and whether he will be comfortable growing further depends largely on how others perceive HIV-positive fellow citizens.
UNICEF video "Seryozha", 2007. Famous TV presenter Vladimir Pozner starred in the video
When the problem of HIV infection appeared in our country, the attitude towards it was different. A lot of stereotypes and wild myths have emerged. With the help of some of them, even official medicine tried to influence women, limiting the appearance of HIV-positive children. But these are things of bygone days, and now there is a well-developed system of prevention. And it allows, with proper organization of work, to protect children from infection.
In the whole world, the probability of human infection with the immunodeficiency virus in any possible way is less than 1%. Therefore, children with HIV are rather an exception. Most HIV-positive children are welcome in their families, and with due respect from their mothers and fathers, they do not feel anything that would distinguish them from their peers.
Social video "HIV-infected children"
And this is true: children diagnosed with HIV are no different from children without a diagnosis. And when we draw the line between HIV positive and the rest of the children, we further exacerbate the problem.
A well-known social video: kids are playing on the playground, and two mothers are watching the fence, and whispering - this one, they say, is HIV-infected. And soon all the parents start taking their children away. A few seconds, and one of the kids was left completely alone. This is such a psychologically strong scene. But when it comes to an orphan child, he is doubly abandoned: feeling the same loneliness as any orphan, the child, in addition, may turn out to be a "leper" in a society, in which it is already difficult for him to adapt due to the fact that he was not raised in a family ...
Vladimir Trofimov, Deputy Chief Physician of the AIDS Center:
- Medicines provide a person with a normal life, and so far there are no restrictions on life expectancy. With age, with the increase in the weight of the child, only the dosages change. If everything is organized correctly, then there is no resistance, resistance of the virus. One of the main reasons for its appearance is a significant violation of the drug intake: omissions, reduced dosages. In this case, the problem becomes much more complicated - it is necessary to select some combinations of drugs, which are sometimes difficult to organize, because the dose or the number of drugs increases. Or there is a non-standard combination of drugs that is not used in normal practice. In our practice, there are also children from a disadvantaged environment who already have HIV resistance. Here, an individual selection of drugs is needed: special studies are carried out on the structure of the virus itself, it is tracked in which part of the virus a change has occurred, then, based on these results, an analysis of the existing possibilities of a combination of drugs is carried out. This is a serious and big job, but it can be done by specialists.
"Plus" in the family
To control the situation, it is enough to properly organize medical assistance. Well, do not forget about regular examination, that is, laboratory monitoring of the child's condition. So, little depends on the parents who have adopted a child with HIV in their family in the field of therapy, except for the conscientious observance of the recommendations of specialists. Another thing is important - family relationships. If parents are attentive to each other, the atmosphere in the family is friendly, and the child, desired and necessary, will only grow and develop better.
You don't need to do anything special at home, but the doctor must observe the child at certain times and at certain periods. Not so often - usually, when the diagnosis is made, once every 3 months. Practically all children are prescribed treatment, it is not so difficult today.
The main thing is to give drugs on time. This is not to say exactly on the timer. Children should receive medicines on a regular basis, but there is no need to turn this into fanaticism - not necessarily a second to a second: now the hand has passed 9 hours, and I will now take it. If the drug has to be taken at 9pm, and the person took it at 9:05, 9:10, or even 9:20, nothing significant will happen. Yes, there may be some glitches, errors, it is important that they are not significant. Fluctuations in the time of taking the medicine are allowed, but they should not be too large.
As in patients with diabetes mellitus, children with HIV gradually develop a habit, time-management of medication. And children get used to it: older children, if they need to go somewhere for a long time, usually ask: "Where is my medicine?"
History of adoption of a child with HIV
Irina, brings up four daughters with HIV:
- It seems to me that the diagnosis in my children does not affect the quality of life. We have been drinking medications for a long time without a timer, since we have a clear daily routine: children study externally, study in studios, so the day is scheduled by the minute and the therapy reception is just inscribed in the general regimen. It was hard to get used to it, probably, it was only in the first year with the first daughter - it was scary to be late even by 5 minutes with the medication. We are now taking therapy plus or minus 15 minutes in time. In general, the diagnosis does not allow only to go in for sports professionally, but we never planned to attend the Olympic Games.
Most often we go on vacation to Crimea and Odessa, the viral load after such a vacation did not increase. We did not observe any special restrictions, we just sat at home during the sun, and went to the beach only in the morning and evening hours, like all normal people.
The kids, of course, have changed a lot at home, they have grown, strengthened, become calmer, kinder and more cheerful. Almost all the children came to me at the age of 5-6 years. Now the eldest is already in the 6th grade, the middle ones in the 3rd, and the youngest should go to the 1st grade, but since we have almost passed the first grade program, we will, I think, go straight to the second.
So far, I have never encountered ignorance in society, although I do not hide the diagnosis of children, it is registered in the medical records and in the clinic and at the school. I explain to the children that everyone takes some kind of pill (not only them), but it is not customary to shout about this anywhere, because diseases are rarely topics of conversation in a company, for example.
HAAART in Russia
Medicines for HIV-positive children are not commercially available, but they are readily available in the Russian health care system, and there are no interruptions with them. The drugs are supplied to the regions under interbudgetary transfers. The family is given medicine at least for a month, and if children live where it is difficult for them to get to, then for a longer period.
One can perhaps state that the citizens of Russia are lucky - the annual cost of taking complex therapy drugs can be up to 10-15 thousand US dollars. Many countries, such as Latin America, cannot afford such costs. In Brazil, to bail out its citizens, the government took an unprecedented step - allowing the production of cheap drugs bypassing patent laws.
The film "Children and HIV", 2011, filmed by the Sverdlovsk Regional AIDS Center
Vladimir Trofimov, Deputy Chief Physician of the AIDS Center:
- The main thing that these drugs give is that they make the content of the virus in the blood undetectable. The virus leaves the blood and is stored in some distant cells of the immunological memory. If this process is constantly maintained, then the virus does not develop. It is simply stored in the body and the disease becomes chronic, which can be maintained and maintained.
Even if the child is sent on a trip or on a summer vacation, then there will be no special restrictions, except, of course, the exact intake of the medication. We usually do not recommend visiting hot countries. There is very serious exposure to sunlight, as a result of which the immune system is suppressed. And our adult patients, who listen to us poorly and, despite our warnings, leave somewhere closer to the equator, often have problems upon their return. And children, moreover, react to a change of place of residence, including abrupt flights. Their adaptation period is much longer. Therefore, if for an adult to fly to Thailand is less of a problem, then the child is more difficult to bear. So it's better to rest somewhere in your own or a similar climate.
Where to learn more about HIV
1. "Modern Portal about HIV - up-to-date information from the world of science and medicine"
2. "Antiretroviral therapy online" - all about drugs and treatment
3. Photo project "Positive Children" - with humor about stereotypes
4. "City complex program AntiHIV" - hotline, news, interviews
5. "Positive Adoption" - adoption stories, articles and literature
6. “There is no reason to be afraid of adopting children living with HIV” - the story of adoption
How to find like-minded people
Unfortunately, myths and stereotypes about HIV exist and will continue to exist. And the part of the population that lives in them will continue to live. It is difficult to change myths - great efforts are needed here, first of all on the part of the state.
But if one adult's own fears and doubts are overcome, then for a particular baby from a child's home, this internal event, sometimes at the other end of the country, can become the beginning of a new life, the beginning of a change and his fate for the better. And then the only remaining obstacle (distance) will be overcome, and the child, in whose medical record three terrible letters of the diagnosis grinned, will end up in the family. And the diagnosis, of course, will remain, but it will turn into an ordinary habit of accurate medication.
We really want all children to find parents ..
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For the first time, the Constitutional Court of the Russian Federation allowed the adoption of a child by a couple where one of the spouses is HIV-infected. While this decision is purely legal in nature, it is only for those where the child already lives in the family.
Until now, courts of general jurisdiction have denied citizens with HIV infection the right to adopt, on the grounds that concomitant illnesses may prevent them from fully caring for a child. In St. Petersburg there is an example when a married couple is raising a man's child from his first marriage. The boy calls his father’s new wife “mother,” but this status could not be consolidated: his mother had HIV.
In the case of the spouses who applied to the Constitutional Court, the relationship with the child is even closer. According to the materials, the woman was infected in the hospital after she had a miscarriage. She can no longer have children, so her sister gave birth to a child to the couple using the method of artificial insemination - he is his own father. However, the courts refused to adopt the wife, referring to the list of diseases approved by the government of the Russian Federation: infectious diseases prevent adoption until dispensary observation is terminated due to persistent remission.
According to the applicants, Article 127 of the Family Code and the specified list in conjunction contradict the Constitution, since the refusal to adopt an HIV-infected person is indefinite and does not take into account the course of the disease and the patient's attitude towards it. Thus, the constitutional principle of equality before the law and the court has been violated, the provisions of Article 39 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, which states that "motherhood and childhood, the family are under the protection of the state, are not observed."
The CC, in particular, recalled that according to the Declaration of the Rights of the Child and the Declaration on Social and Legal Principles Relating to the Protection and Welfare of Children, “the best interests of the child and his need for love should be the main consideration when considering all issues related to the transfer of a child for caring for him not by his own parents. "
And although the legislator has the right to exercise some caution, however, in a specific situation it is necessary to take into account that the risks to the child's health do not increase.
Until now, courts of general jurisdiction have denied citizens with HIV infection
To recognize the interrelated provisions of subparagraph of Article 127 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation and paragraph 2 of the list of diseases, in the presence of which a person cannot adopt a child, not in accordance with the Constitution of the Russian Federation, - the Constitutional Court decided on this basis, - to the extent that these provisions serve as a basis for refusal to a person infected with HIV and (or) the hepatitis C virus in the adoption of a child who, due to already established family relations, lives with this person, if it follows from the circumstances established by the court in their totality that adoption makes it possible to legally formalize these relations and is in the interests of the child. The applicants' case is subject to review.
How to adopt a child with HIV-positive status?
Among the kids living in orphanages, there are also HIV-positive. Should a potential adoptive parent be afraid of being diagnosed with HIV infection?
According to statistics, about five percent of HIV-positive mothers abandon their children while still in the hospital. After passing the necessary medical examination, the "refuseniks" go to a child's home, either a regular or a specialized one.
Due to the stereotypes prevailing in society, caused by the fear of HIV and the lack of information about this disease, in the period from 1991 to 2005-06. only one HIV-positive child in a hundred found his family. However, the situation has changed recently. Over the past 5-6 years, more than 50% of HIV-infected children have been adopted or taken into care. There is not a single case of an HIV-positive child returning to an orphanage. Some families take care of 2 or more HIV-infected babies.
Do not be afraid
With timely and proper treatment, children with HIV-positive status live long and fulfilling lives: they receive an education, find interesting jobs, marry and delight their parents with healthy grandchildren. And their development is no different from the development of other children and largely depends on what their parents are ready to give them. HIV-positive children do not pose any danger to the rest of the family, and the procedure for preparing the necessary documents for adoption is standard and takes no more than 1 month.
Remember: HIV is not transmitted through casual contact, provided that normal family hygiene practices are followed. Therefore, a baby living with HIV poses no danger to other children and adults.
For people thinking about adoption, the baby himself should be in the first place: his appearance, character, behavior. HIV is feature of the child that you don't have to be afraid of and that you can adapt to.
This mainly concerns the need for constant medical supervision of the child in the AIDS center and treatment. Subject to the recommendations of the child's attending physician, these features will quickly become habitual and will not disrupt the usual way of life.
Do not think that caring for such a child will require huge amounts of money: the law guarantees free HIV treatment for all categories of citizens. Moreover, being, in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation, invalids of childhood, HIV-infected children enjoy all the benefits provided for this category of patients. Currently, you can apply for a social benefit once up to the age of 18 for a child. A monthly cash allowance will be accrued, benefits for guardians will be issued.
What do you need to be prepared for?
Don't give in to the first impulse. Caring for an HIV-positive child takes extra time and energy.
You will need to constantly monitor the baby's health and come for examination at the AIDS Prevention and Control Center, where the child will be registered for life.
In addition, you will be giving him antiretroviral therapy every day to help reduce viral load and support the child's immunity. A rigid schedule of medication intake must be carefully observed - deviating from it reduces the effectiveness of treatment, can lead to a deterioration in the state of health and even death of the child.
An HIV-positive child is safe for others; in the absence of immunodeficiency, he suffers all diseases like other children, but children with immunodeficiency (AIDS) get sick more often and more severely than their non-HIV-infected peers.
You have a good example: a huge number of parents across the country are raising their babies living with various chronic diseases, which include HIV, not only raising them, but also treating them.
Tell about the diagnosis
Over time, you will need to tell your child about their HIV-positive status. A child's attitude to his HIV status largely depends on how his parents treat him. Therefore, try to find out as much as possible about HIV yourself from reliable sources.
Experts recommend telling the child about the diagnosis as early as possible - after all, the baby will want to know why he needs to take medications every day, and the teenager should understand his responsibility to a potential partner.
Parents themselves or psychologists of AIDS centers can disclose the diagnosis of HIV infection. There are special programs for working with HIV-infected children and their parents on the announcement of the diagnosis and further counseling as needed.
The right to secrecy
You may be concerned about the problem of disclosing the diagnosis of an HIV-positive child. He has the right to keep the diagnosis confidential. It allows the child to protect himself from the negative attitudes of others, caused by lack of information or fears.
There is a clause in the legislation of our country according to which the presence of HIV infection in a child cannot serve as a basis for refusing or excluding him from admission to educational institutions. If health allows the baby, he can attend circles, sports sections, music schools and electives, since he does not pose an infectious danger to other children or the staff of the institution.
Upon admission to school or kindergarten, parents are not required to disclose the child's diagnosis, and no official can require parents to certify the absence or presence of HIV infection, or force parents to disclose the child's diagnosis.
And how will the state help?
The rights of a child living with HIV are regulated by the Federal Law of March 30, 1995 N 38-FZ "On the prevention of the spread in the Russian Federation of a disease caused by the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV infection)".
According to its third chapter, HIV-positive children are equal in status to children with disabilities and are entitled to the same benefits until the age of 18. In addition, babies are provided with drugs for ARV therapy in full free of charge at the Centers for the Prevention and Control of AIDS at their place of residence.
“Quite unexpectedly, my husband and I decided to adopt a child, during the conversation it turned out that we are both ready to accept the child into the family! I was guided more to help and give my love to a child who was left without parental care for a number of reasons!
It was decided to take the baby with a minimum of health problems! The husband insisted on waiting for just such a baby! This worried me, this requirement is practically impossible to fulfill. Such a child could be expected for a long time. There is a large queue of adoptive parents for a practically healthy child up to six months who has just been born! We wanted exactly the smallest one to go through everything inside and out, since we don't have our own children!
There were many fears! Most of all I was afraid that my husband and I would not agree, because, knowing myself, I will definitely be drawn to the child with the diagnosis. It is these children who need a family, because healthy ones are immediately dismantled! There was also a fear that I would disdain, etc., etc.
I have not a poorly developed intuition, I felt his birth, but I drove these thoughts, because at that time we had not even started classes at the PDS (School of Foster Parents), it will be months when we will be able to start looking for our child. I prayed for my child, asked God to instruct the biomama, so that she would take care of herself during pregnancy for the sake of the health of our baby. When we decided to take the child, I started my little investigation, nutrition, vaccination and care! Because as soon as the health and future of a son or daughter depends on me. At that time, I was a vegetarian with a very short term and my eyes on the world were just beginning to open! It was decided that we do not make vaccines, but raise immunity in a natural way, knowing the composition of the vaccine, I would not have introduced all this to myself, not to a child! I chose raw food for the child.
We went to the guardianship, when all the documents were ready, everywhere they said one thing, there were no children! Only in one of the wards we were shown the base of orphans with diagnoses. My husband, knowing me, tried to avoid this occupation! I was afraid of a difficult child. Nevertheless, we overlooked the base, and below I saw a photo of a child, about whom we were not told anything, since he was older than the age we requested! I asked about them and heard the terrible diagnoses of HIV and Hepatitis C. We left, and I thought about those children, that they are like parts in a factory, marriage! It warmed my soul that the adoptive parents went to some of them for the bride! And that child did not go out of my head. Nobody went to him.
Before that, I read a post about HIV hopeless children. I came across information that there are people who deny HIV. I found that kid in the database, I found a site with video questionnaires of children! I constantly watched the video with him, admired my baby. I met people who live without therapy and everything is fine with them, it is not non-existent HIV that kills, but toxic therapy, drugs that decompose the liver and kill not only viruses, but our cells, as a result, AIDS and death! I read the information, listened to doctors who deny HIV (Sazonova Irina Mikhailovna, Mavra Ohanyan, Semenova Nadezhda, etc.). She shared her knowledge with her husband, and he refused. I prayed, went to church, roared, worried! She asked that God would help her husband to understand the issue and he would make a positive decision. My husband liked this child, he also penetrated to him, but fear did not give rise to action. I was also afraid of many things, but I was guided by an incomprehensible force! I'm a mom! And the mother feels her child! I was going to be a volunteer in the Children's Home where our baby was, but I am forbidden to be them, since I am a potential adoptive parent! Such rules. I started asking my husband to agree to get to know the baby, that I would be grateful to him even for one meeting with him! I prayed again and here's a miracle, we take a direction and go to it. Heart pounding, excitement. On the first day, we only met with the staff of the Orphanage, as the baby was allegedly taken to the AIDS center for analysis. We were told about absolutely terrible diagnoses, problems, that the child's liver "falls out", that he will not live long, that the child is disabled! I didn't want to hear anything, I said that I would look at the child, how he feels, looks. They chuckled and said the baby looks good, but that doesn't mean anything! They looked at me like I was crazy. I explain to them that I am not interested in what diagnoses this child has, I only need him! The fact is that my soul is not great, and I cannot accept every child, so I was hooked on this baby. I realized that such a feeling might never happen to me again! They frightened their husband, after their story any sane person will run away! After all, how to live with such a child? Always in fear that here he will not be, how to survive the loss, because we will have time to become attached! But my intuition drove me forward. I felt that I could help him! The husband is kind, but his fears …………… I tell him stories that many children leave the orphanage with serious diagnoses, and at home everything is getting better, the child comes to life. Children left without parental care are written everything, even unconfirmed diagnoses!
The next day we went again. We met with the head physician of the orphanage and he played a big role in my husband's decision! I am very glad that we were able to communicate! There would be more such doctors who are not brainwashed! He explained that everything in children goes away, that Hepatitis can now be put into every second person due to improper diet, due to taking toxic drugs, taking alcohol, etc. The main thing is not to provoke the liver and follow a diet! He explained a lot, told logical things, my husband's eyes brightened. After all, a real person, a doctor, is now talking about what I was telling him! They brought the child, he looked exactly at her husband and smiled at him! Strong, healthy look! I held the baby in my arms, so heavy, and the smell, all this is my baby! I don't need anyone else! My husband was rushing about, and I was already ready to sign a consent, but we only began to visit him at the orphanage. I went to see him, we walked! Began to recognize me!
We also talked with the pediatrician from the SC and with the infectious disease specialist. The child was sentenced to take therapy for life, they said that the virus was already in the blood, the tests were bad. I asked to explain by what indicators it is clear! The SC told about the test results, but if there were other results, then there would be a chance of a cure, but in this case, most likely not! Why not accuracy again? "Most likely", it turns out that as usual, anyhow, if only! The birth was also at home and the baby was not dripped! Some of their logic, some pluses, minuses. Complete nonsense! Did you see the virus yourself? Where there are many questions there are not true! Still, there is something to rejoice in, my prayers did not pass by. The child was saved from a dropper and from several vaccines. Due to the diagnosis, many vaccines are contraindicated. If you think about it, it will be clear that this whole diagnosis is nonsense! The infectious disease specialist probed the liver in front of us, everything is normal. Why we were told in the DR that the liver is enlarged is not clear. They wanted to make an independent examination, examination, did not give a DR, could not understand why we did this, wondered why we did not believe them. We didn’t shake our nerves and retreated.
Long before this story, I followed the family of the raw foodists Kalmykovs Vladimir and Svetlana, their lives! I completely agreed with everything they said, I understood this family! Therefore, it was decided to turn to them for help, so that they would help to competently remove toxins from the child's body, adapt it, and bring it to another level! We choose to live without drugs because we believe in God and in the gifts of nature. But we did not have the experience and knowledge that the Kalmykov family could give us! I will always be grateful to them that they did not abandon us! There was tremendous moral support, people are very open and able to understand other people's fears and know how to dispel them. The experience is really felt, I completely trusted them and God. At the peak of crises, I always received wise recommendations, followed them! I included my intuition. Svetlana spoke in advance about what result to expect, and it came true! Everything was really like that! These are not just guesses and assumptions, this is an experience that I really appreciate and thank God for the fact that the Kalmykov family has appeared in our life! Words cannot describe how much trust I felt and feel in them! This is something more!
Thank you Svetlana and Vladimir for your patience with us! Thanks for everything!
There was a day before the decision was made. And then the husband said - YES! Throwing away all fears, we went and signed a consent. While the documents for the child were being prepared, we visited him! The thought that time was passing and he was still there, taking poison, was killing me, I had only to wait and pray! There was a lot of negative feedback from the DR staff, the stroller is separate, because my child is dangerous, he is contagious. When, out of ignorance, I took another stroller, I was immediately attacked. It was morally hard. Time dragged on for so long. The kid looked at me and perhaps understood everything, sometimes he was offended that I did not take him! At first he smiled at me, then he didn't even look at me, turned away. I started talking to him, asked him to be patient, to wait !! He seemed to understand, and we were joking again, he sincerely smiled at me!
The day has come when we took our happiness. They immediately canceled the therapy and began to pull the child out of the clutches of the system and improve his undermined health! There was no adaptation period, the child felt good, only at first he cried every night in his sleep, but quickly calmed down, understood that he was at home! One thing scared him when we went out for a walk. Children have their own fears, I think I was afraid to go back! He was capricious and pointed with his pen towards the house. Gradually, this state passed, and there is no more fear! We love to walk very much! There was no breakage from the withdrawal of drugs either! Of course, the system kept us, we had to go to the SC for tests. Indicators have increased dramatically - viral load and others (I will not specify which ones), immunity and ESR are normal, which is very important! The husband was a little scared, in the SC they know how to catch up with panic, this is also part of their work! But we experienced fear every time! I also went to a doctor who denies HIV and helps people like us to adapt after therapy. She said that the improvement in test results is the expected result! Since the body begins to work without drugs, cells divide. In the SC, we lied that we were giving drugs, we were following all the recommendations! Of course, they doubted, the analysis shows the cancellation. They appointed us to urgently be tested again. We stretched out a little time and went to donate blood again. This time I was calm, unlike the first trip to the SC. Then I was very nervous, it was impossible not to take a sedative! My intuition did not disappoint me - a miracle, VN and other indicators began to decrease, VN dropped several times, very significantly! The SC believed that we were taking medications, and we did not have to make excuses, so I was calm, I felt that everything would be fine! The Kalmykovs prophesied this too! Our immunity was praised even in the SC, ESR is still normal! Now the temperature does not bother, cough rarely appears and snot bothers less often! The teeth are cut one by one, the child from the very beginning began to intensively gain weight, height! I caught up with my peers in development. So they said, development by age! Complete blood count and urinalysis are normal. Well, what else does mom want? A healthy strong child, happy and with a good appetite. We are happy, my husband loves him very much, they play and rejoice at each other!
I wrote our story in order to convey some important things to people! Never put a frame in that regard, I want such a child, such a friend, etc. It was our mistake! Many adoptive parents make mistakes like this! We have a child who is at variance with our initial ideas and desires. Loved ones are not chosen like a product in a store, they are felt!
Do not believe everything that is told to you in the guardianship or in the orphanage, check, listen to your heart and do not be afraid of diagnoses. Everything is fixable! A child in love and with the right care will get out, there are many examples, these are not empty words! Do not heal, read articles on the Internet, listen to real doctors, turn to knowledgeable people for help! Believe me, there is a lot of deception in the World! Nobody needs us and our children. Only we can take care of them!
Present a family to a child who needs it! Marriage is only at the factory, and a person chooses a person with his heart! As a result, our child was born exactly in the month when I felt his birth! I loved him so much, as soon as they brought him home, I realized that I did not disdain him a bit! And whoever says what, I will continue to believe my intuition. This child is borne by the heart! He's ours!
Thank you all, we are happy! "
And we, in turn, thank this wonderful family for giving happiness, love, warmth to the baby. Low bow to you from the Kalmykov family))) And let your example be significant for many who want to take HIS baby, but fears do not give ...