How to return the coolest former feelings and relationships. Patience and work will be pulled out, or how to return the same love
On the one hand, everything is new - well forgotten old, but also on the other - in one river the second time not to enter. Men, unfortunately, extremely rarely there are alolyubs. At first he begins to look beautifully for you - flowers, candy, dinner with candlelight is possible in a restaurant, and maybe at home, nightlings under the starry sky, beautiful words about his love for you and other romance. And now you are in love with your ears in love, behind the backs of the wings and you are completely sure that this beautiful tale will last all my life!
Time passes, you already live together, and perhaps already there was a cheerful wedding. But after a certain time - a year, two or even less you begin to notice that he misses you and you even talk about anything. He later returns home under the pretext that at work was delayed, in bed you are no longer sleeping closely clinging to each other, you just sleep next. It turns out that some girl calls him, he justifies that it is just a familiar and calls in the case, but nevertheless he comes home no longer too late, and in the morning and again an excuse - at work was delayed or some more ridiculous excuse.
Your patience is not infinite, you collect things and go to my mother or he leaves himself, putting before the fact: "I'm sorry, I loved another!" You suffer, hope that he himself cares for your knees, will begging to return relationships, imagine how he asks for forgiveness, swear in love and sincerely regrets treason ... but alas, of course it does not happen! All your thoughts are engaged only by the fact that life has lost its meaning, work and friends are no longer interesting and your best friend is already bored with you, because You gave her all the ears about what he is bastard. Stop watching yourself, turn into a homemade. At night you remember him, how you were together, how he hugged how he gave flowers and was in the world the best. Memories of the past do not give you peace and know that now your best belongs to the other gives you no little sincere pain, you are sorry for what you once believed him.
And yet, all the wounds treat even such. Gradually, you come to ourselves, you begin to call the old friends again, the best friend. Who is not the best girlfriend can help cope with depression? Together with her you go to the hairdresser, shopping, in general, you put yourself in order. You begin to have fun - parties, discos, etc. Memories of past love also gradually leave you alone. After all, you are quite a pretty and cute girl, you have a pleasant appearance. Men still pay attention to you, thanks to which you start watching ourselves again, put yourself in order, life acquires new paints. You understand that you are not alone, you are free! And, of course, sooner or later you fall in love again. No matter where and how you met the other - met at work, in the company from friends or just in a cafe. It was love possible at first glance, and possibly from the second, but this love wakes up you again, and in his eyes you want to drown and you are drowning, without regret, without looking at the past! Again romantic evenings, beautiful confessions. Life has gained a new meaning. You are happy together!
And so, oddly enough, but at this moment when you no longer torment yourself with the memories of the former, you already don't even remember that he generally exists in this life ... He appears - is your ex-own person! The proposals begin to return everything from the beginning, asks for forgiveness, says that I was mistaken and what I only understood what was a fool. But does he need you now?! Do you think about what he was when you suffered and loved? When could everyone forgive, just to be with him together. And now he is no longer interested in you, and your photos have long been torn and thrown out. You understand that it is no longer needed and can not be refund. Long forgotten everything and lived! At best, offered to stay to him friends, just buddies, because He is no longer disturbing his heart.
The essence of this can and the banal story is that we take care of my love initially, do not rush into the outer with your head in search of new love adventures. You will not wait forever. But if it happened and your favorite went to the other, remember that life does not ends with it, you do not need to get closed in yourself and bike on the past. It is impossible to lower your hands, because by the same hands we ourselves build your happiness!
The easiest way to return the feelings that once forced you to choose this person to the satellites of life - to return to the past. You will help you with your memories and sensations. What you experienced when he first took you by the hand, invited a date, kissed - all these feelings and circumstances serve so-called psychological "anchors."
It may be melodies that you both loved, restaurants or seams in which your first dates passed. Do not put a task to resurrect everything, try to watch what feelings you are experiencing now in the same circumstances. , watching photos of your first joint new year or vacation, keep together, tell each other about your feelings and think about what you lack both.
Secret 2. Accept each other completely
With all the shortcomings and annoying habits. We know that there are no people without minus. At first we do not notice them, because love blinds. But everyday life gradually opens his eyes and turns the cute features into the horrors of joint being. Much for a long time no longer causes tides of tenderness, but with something over time to put up more difficult and more difficult.
First we see only good and love for it. However, those relationships that cannot be destroyed are happy and because we know about the bad and accept it. How to do it? First, talk about it. Do not hurt partner, explain that you appreciate his feelings, thankful for them, but there is something that can be changed for the better. This will allow him to exercise his love without causing discontent. The more compromises you find, the less irritation will remain in your pair. What to deal with, and on what not to pay attention - these questions you must decide together, without emotions and mutual accusations.
Secret 3. Create a new
Studies in the past may not be enough. After all, the evening memories will end, and will have to return on weekdays. Life takes strength, and feelings fad. After a meeting, the feelings of novelty begins not to grab the feelings of novelty, which so excited and fascinated at first. In addition to memories of the past, you can come up with the new traditions of your pair, creating a pleasant one for you both events. The easiest way is to sit at home, at best you download the movie and watch it, sitting by side.
But it does not resurrect the passion and those emotions that you want to experience again. Undoubtedly, any attempts to refresh relationships, even perhaps not the most successful, better than inaction. But it is more important to try to understand that you can give each other here and now. Experience of parting teaches us to appreciate what we have lost, and this is not only a passion. After the divorces, former spouses often regret such simple things as communication, care, ordinary human warmth. Try to understand, without which you would be sad in your partner - it can become a solid basis for a new order relationship. Stronger, serious and stable.
Secret 4. Realize changes in yourself
For a long time, longing about past feelings, we remember themselves by people as they were. Although in reality dissatisfaction concerns today. You can not always understand how people in a pair have changed, but it is important that it was the relationship that they made them different. Whether you have another husband, and you would not be the one you now. Study and wisdom - the necessary stage for a full-fledged life, otherwise we would all stay naive and infantile boys and girls. Recall that your luggage is partly and the merit of the one who is near.
Secret 5. Get bored for each other
How long have you missed? I was looking forward to meeting, as then, for the first time and shuddered from a phone call. IN modern world It is difficult: the Internet and a bunch of useful gadgets create an illusion of full-fledged communication and presence. But the real separation can still be arranged. At least agree that you will not bother each other and disturb the partner for a while. Talk to each other only when you actually have something to say. Be apart a little further.
Together with the experts of the channel, we deal with what to do if the relationship is worried about the crisis.
Cooling occurs not at one moment, but gradually. And notice it is very simple, of course, if you are attentive to the partner.
Often "fire measures" to improve marriage are taken when there is nothing to improve.
It seems to me that you have to do from the very beginning so that the partner is interesting and pleasant to the partner. When the relationship with a man starts slowly cool, it is important to understand - in which area it happens.
- If sexual attraction disappeared, it will not hurt to turn to the doctor or psychologist.
- If cooling in the field of human relations is important to understand, at what level they were initially.
- If it was a fiery passion that does not know the boundaries, and then the couple felt cooling - this is normal.
- And if initially the level of relationship was not particularly high, and after couple felt that everything came to almost to zero, is a completely different situation.
- If the husband has lost interest in you as a person, then he found someone more interesting. The family is daily work, over time you no longer notice that this is a work and work, it is a habit.
But the life of one and the life of two are absolutely different things. In order not to have problems, if possible, it is not necessary to approach each other very close to each other, it is not necessary to go to someone else's territory, to climb into everything and live literally every business of a loved one.
Do not do from two lives to do one. It is very weighting relationships and spoils them. It is necessary to simply define things that will be done together - what is common competence. If you want to invite a partner to your territory, then everything is in order. But he himself should not climb there. And it is not necessary to be offended.
Anatoly Borsyuk, Showman
Coldness - does not mean alienation
Imagine that in a flower shop you liked a beautiful flower in a pot. You brought it home, put in a prominent place. Initially, you are actively careful for him, happy and even talk to him. After a while you cease to perceive its beauty so sharply.
So in love relationships: the most wonderful person, being near himself, can "take a little." But this does not mean that we stop loving him, right? ..
Many women come to a psychologist with a similar problem. When you begin to disassemble the situation with them, it turns out that they are actually bothering not the presence of mistresses or problems in family relationships, and the fact that there is a threat to lose some familiar comfortable conditions: the status of a married woman, wealth ...
Try to honestly answer my question: "What hurts me most? What is he cold with me? Or what he can dilute with me?"
Each marriage is unique, some people after the rapid first years of love go down to each other and put the intrigues on the side. Others, on the contrary, with the years they love each other even more, although the appearance of the relationship and seem cool.
The reason for the outer coldness may not be in the mistress, but in domestic, official or monetary problems. I recommend before making the spelling conclusions ("something is wrong with him" or "something wrong with me"), to find out: Does something partner do not suffer?
It is important to try to find a key to a person, clarify the causes of such behavior. Decide on this conversation, is definitely difficult, but it must be done.
Sergey Dubic, psychologist, www.dubichs.info.
Give him the right to an error!
I believe that treason is almost inevitable in any marriage. It is very painful and unpleasant, but this is a fact. And no signs of attention, care or concessions will not help. On the contrary, if you start to give up and adapt to the partner, he "sits on his head."
It is said that the business trips save marriage. Maybe, really short separation will help you feel that you need each other, and your love will break up with a new force?
It seems to me that every person (and your husband including) must have the right to make a mistake. Here is what conclusions he makes from his mistakes - this is another matter! Very often people live together not because they love each other, but because they are so comfortable. Maybe love was transformed into a different feeling - respect, responsibility for the family and so on.
Relationships should change, because over the years everything is changing - both our addictions, and attitude to sex, and habits.
And the cooling is not necessarily associated with the presence of a mistress. Maybe he had a hobby that you do not know about. Or he just uncomfortable in a family circle.
It seems to me the worst in family relationships - when people simply do not speak. If they quarrel, find out the relationship - it means they are not indifferent to each other. True, there is one nuance here: the number of reconciliations should be exactly one more than the number of quarrels.
Konstantin Alder, manager
Photo in the text: Depositphotos.com
How to return your beloved man? Many women begin to think about this issue, being in a difficult situation. When the closest person leaves, the feeling that the world has ceased to exist. Tears are staggering, insult and disappointment do not allow to fully enjoy life. All the paints are blurred, it seems that anything good is no longer waiting in life. Someone with time is arguing with loss, refusing to recognize the obvious fact, others prefer to fight for love. What to do, how to return the guy's love? In some cases, a rejected half manifests a good relationship with those who prefer to throw, betray. But, as you know, not all and not everyone is returned. How to return a man back? How to return the interest of a man? Let's try to figure it out in this extremely difficult question.
Let go or fight
The woman should independently answer this question. Thinking over how to return the former man, it is impossible to miss the question of personal choice and preference. That is, if a person believes that it will be better for him, and the relationship was outlined, then a completely reasonable decision would be to release the situation, thereby freeing himself from exhausting suffering. But if there is love inside the pair, and the parting happened because of some nonsense, then return the previous relationship with a man is quite possible.
It is worth fighting for love when a woman feels with all his heart that it is her man. Her right is to not give out his place to the opponent, if such has already appeared. It is no secret that usually a man does not go to nowhere. This is due to his psychological features. The representative of the strong floor is uncomfortable one.
Find reasons
It is clear that just so people do not part. For such a serious step, there must be visible grounds. It happens that people live in marriage for many years, and then, according to an incomprehensible reason, they break up. Why is this happening? Most often, personal resentment and misunderstandings come to the fore. If people together are long enough, they learn to humble with the lack of each other. Against frequent misunderstandings, treason often happens. After all, if inside the loving couple everything is safely, no one wants to lose the closest person. It is extremely significant to change their behavior, to realize what mistakes were allowed. That is why it is so important to understand whether to actually return a person if he left.
But, unfortunately, most girls think only about how to return the former guy. They do not even know whether they need it indeed, they do not conduct a deep analysis of the situation. Climbing in his sufferings, they forget to think about themselves, to fully work on their own character. Even taking the inevitable, you can move far ahead. If you do not work on yourself, then the relationship is sooner or later will lead to a dead end and make it even more to suffer.
Do not impose
Women often forget that their nature does not tolerate any humiliation. It is impossible to impose, openly offering itself, thereby demonstrating its availability. Men's psychology is so arranged that they are more interesting to seek the favor of a fair sex. And if it becomes too affordable for him, then the desire to follow her disappears. A man is a hunter. He can look after a woman for a long time, watch her, but not take any steps to rapprochement. So that the man wants to go back, he should have enough strong motivation in his head to make such a act.
Return a favorite guy - the task is not simple, especially if he left on his own initiative. When the girl throws, and then begins to regret the event that happened, it is easier for her to correct the situation. It is necessary to collect forces and ask for forgiveness. She will have to recognize his mistake.
But if the initiator of parting was made by a man, which means that something was not satisfied. A woman will need to work a lot on themselves, vary literally in the eyes to come to aware of the existing problem. How to return the love of men? It is necessary to stop to demonstrate its attachment. If you want to restore, make it back, you need to stop running after him. Return the senses of a man to the girl who sobbed it in love, is unlikely possible, but there are exceptions if the feelings temporarily overshadowed offense. Thinking how to return the guy after parting, the girl should understand that she can, how to destroy everything is finally, and build a new future if it starts to behave correctly. Communication here plays a primary role.
Refuse reproaches
Even when it happens unbearably offensive to see him with another woman, you should be prudent if you want to return the partner. For this reason, you need to abandon any reproaches to the guy. How can you return someone back, constantly resorting to verbal insults and accusations? In fact, this is contrary to the intention. How to bring the guy's feelings if there is a conflict inside the pair? The output suggests one: it is necessary to eliminate significant contradictions. What to say to him when meeting, if the parting with a guy passed not too smoothly? First of all, do not scandal. The psychology of strong sex is such that he needs to make a decision on how he wants to do. No need to persuade a young man in this.
Start first
So that the return process was smooth and the man rather wanted to return, you need to mentally return to the beginning of the relationship. After all, before he left, there were some pleasant moments that inspired and pleased. The girl must try again to cause interest, attract attention. If a man left himself, then you can try to seduce again. And then a new attachment will be formed.
A woman who was thrown is very difficult to cross over the insult and despair. For this reason, she says out loud angry words, writes uncontrollable letters to his chosen one, not suggesting that he will say on them. Normal communication as a result of this separation does not work. Each side feels extremely uncomfortable. The gone can return, no matter how much time it has passed. Psychology of people is such that somewhere in the depths of the soul they retain attachment to former partners, even in other respects. For this reason, there is no doubt that it is possible to return the former guy.
After cheating
How to return the guy? When a woman is to blame in the situation, then much will depend on the views of the man, from his ability to forgive, to be sensitive and susceptible. Many people believe that married infidelity, even that happened once, completely crosses all the fact that the pair creates the years. In part, it is, however, some find the strength to restore the lost connection. The term does not matter here. If her husband left, as soon as he became aware of the wrongness, this does not mean that his heart does not tell him the opposite.
Very often, people are mentally returned to the traumatic event, trying to find the right decision. Not everyone gets to act correctly, forgetting about the insults and disappointment. Most are simply sincerely afraid of repeating the unpleasant situation. Girls often ask how to return the guy who changed? It is necessary, first of all, be sincere. True repentance can work wonders. How to return the guy if he does not want?
What to do? Psychology suggests that it is not necessary to inhibit it. Let it take a certain time, do not rush with the solution, set limiting the requirements. It's not scary if it even go somewhere or leaves, you do not need to behave like a jealous draft. When a girl throws, it seems difficult to return it. But the truth is that if the guy wants to part, it does not mean that he does not like.
What if the guy wants to part, and the girl wants to return it? How to regain the attention of men? Science Psychology says that nothing impossible does not exist. Somewhere deep in the heart is preserved the love that once warmed the soul. If you make an effort, you can cause the same experiences and excitement in the shower, which once occupied most of the time.
How to defeat barriers
When a person is at a considerable distance, some complexity arises in just contacting him. It will not be possible to talk if there are significant obstacles to this. Return the interest of a man to itself, which is far away, is very difficult. Many women even refuse such thoughts in advance, believing that now they still will not come out.
But in this case there is a way out. You can contact it using SMS. According to the correspondence, it is possible to tie relations no less successful than the live. How to return the guy's interest? With the help of modern means of communication there is an opportunity not to just attract attention, but even become expensive and close to him. It is enough to support him several times when it will need it most.
Men are actually extremely vulnerable creatures. They appreciate those who really understand them and supports. How to return the interest of a man? You just need to remember the same techniques and actions that helped him charm once a long time ago. If you managed to do it once, it will be possible another time.
Thus, the question of how to return relations with the guy, it necessarily deserves close attention. The advice of a psychologist will undoubtedly be useful to help the girl to return the guy she loves. It is only important to be sincere and really have the intention to make the second half a little happier.