Confessions of people who repent of their actions. Sins in confession in your own words: briefly, a list of possible sins and their description True confessions from real life

23.06.2020

Women's stories from real life about the relationship between a man and a woman, as well as other issues that concern the beautiful half of humanity. Advice and exchange of views in the comments under each post.

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I had a childhood friend. Our mothers were once friends for a very long time and were pretty close friends. Now they are practically no longer friends, but we continue to keep in touch.

My friend is 40 years old. He is married. Lives in another city, so we can't see each other alive, but we communicate only through social media. network and skype. As a child, we saw each other every summer and spent a lot of time together. Now, with the appearance of families and numerous worries, it has become more difficult to see each other. Not so long ago, we spoke with him on Skype. He shared the latest news about family, children, work. I listened to him very attentively, at times agreed, asked questions. And then, quite unexpectedly, there was a pause, after which he looked at me very excitedly and said the following words: "You know, I have loved you all my life."

Have you thought that when you are on the train, there is a big difference in feelings or emotions depending on how you sit in the direction of travel?

I sit down in the direction of travel, and then look out the window. What do I see? No, I do not mean houses, trees, platforms and people standing on them. I see how everything that happens outside the window approaches me from afar. What if I sat down opposite? Then I would see the same thing, but it is already moving away from me. Isn't that so? When I am going somewhere or to someone, I try to sit in the direction of the train. But if I said goodbye to someone and or to something dear to me, I sit down against the movement.

It was early autumn, I was returning home. The time was late and there were not many passengers on the train, I chose an empty compartment and, of course, I sat in the direction of travel, towards the house. I leaned my head against the glass and even tried to fall asleep, because I had to spend at least two hours on the way. But after half an hour of trying to pass the time with sleep, I realized that nothing would work, and I opened my eyes. I was surprised. I didn't even notice how it happened. A woman was sitting opposite me. I don't want to talk about her age. Her arrival was so quiet that it was as if she was born by the surrounding air. It seems to me that I even shuddered at the unexpectedness of her appearance. I was driving home. Where was she going? It turned out that she was leaving. If not from home, then from someone.

I am 43 years old, I have been dating a man for a little over a year (he is 40 years old). Recently, in a joking manner, he hinted that we could get married and live together. That is, there was no direct proposal. I don’t even deny what it seemed to me, and he has no such intentions. But I thought, I need to solve this issue for myself personally in advance (in case the offer is received).

It so happened that I was not married. But I do not suffer about this, everything suits me, in general I am happy with my life. There were boyfriends, but somehow it didn't work out. With children, too, everything is unambiguous, they are not, and will be gone. This topic is more complicated, but everything is clear here too. My man had a short marriage, I know that his daughter is 16, he pays alimony. He also lives alone for a long time.

I have a feeling that problems are plaguing me every day more and more and life is going to a dead end. I am 47 years old, my husband was buried six years ago, since then alone. There are sons, everything does not work out for them the same way as for me. Now I am temporarily at home, there are banks, due to the illness of my mother, I took more. With work uncertainty, debts rise. with a married man went into a complete impasse and acute depression. The relationship has lasted for many years, he assures that his marriage is formal and does not want to let go, at the same time he lives and satisfies the whims of the woman who is next to him.

I am already 48 years old. It didn't work out for me at all, I have neither a husband nor children. I didn’t start my own family and I don’t even have a lover. It’s not that I don’t have boyfriends at the time, it’s just that I didn’t like anyone so much to marry him. And to be honest, no one called. I wanted feelings, but they were not.

Taking a child from an orphanage is not about me. I only need my own child, but age does not allow it anymore. I also wanted to give birth in a complete family, which was never destined to appear.

I am 49 years old, not married, no children, I have a disability, I do not work, I live with my mother (she is also a disabled person) in a small town, there is a dacha. Everything is quite modest, but I'm happy with everything.

There were very decadent moods in connection with their destiny. Indeed, among my relatives and friends, my fate is the worst of all. There was, and still is, fear of what might lie ahead of me. And the men met, but not mine. Strangers. And I always needed a loved one. And it's good that I didn't get in touch with any of them. And I wanted the baby, but in a full-fledged family.

I sit on the site a lot, read different stories. And I had a chance to write my own. Sitting in the social. networks in my free time from children, I compensate for communication with people. Because I have no girlfriends. Well, there are no real faithful friends. Maybe someone will think that this does not happen. It turns out that it happens.

As a child, I had two girlfriends. Now I think that we were friends because we were neighbors. After school, the connection with my friends was interrupted, I entered a university in another city. One left, the other got married. We sometimes talk on the phone with the second, but she has a very strict husband, so she does not talk to me for more than five ten minutes.

At the institute, I could not make friends with anyone. I don't know, maybe it's all about character. Calm, and maybe closed. I could not find the social circle in which I would be comfortable, interesting. I was not friends with any of my classmates, there was a simple "hello-bye" communication.

We lived together for 3 years, in August it would be just an anniversary. Before the wedding, my husband seemed to me to be a serious and kind person, a good family man. But the first impression was deceiving.

Some time after the wedding, he showed his true colors. He began to drink a lot, to get drunk to make a row with my mother and me, to teach us that we are not doing the housework that way. I tried to influence my husband not to drink. We even agreed to go to a narcologist to treat him, but it didn’t work, we had to wait financially.

During this time, our daughter was born. I was hoping that maybe at least this would stop my husband's drunkenness, because he really wanted a child. A lot of money was spent on pregnancy and childbirth, so the visit to the narcologist was postponed. He drank every day, scandals became less frequent, but more terrible.

I am now 29 years old. At the age of 19, I started dating a guy, then they began to live together, a child was born (I was 21). He worked in the police, drank, began to raise his hand. The mother-in-law gave advice on how to live all the way, reproached that I had not made her son happy.

In general, we lived together for 4 years and I filed for divorce. Divorced for 5 years. I do not maintain any relations with my former relatives. The husband has a different family, he has a child. He does not communicate with his child.

I live separately from my parents, I earn good money. After the divorce, there were a couple of short novels. Now for half a year I am in a relationship with a man who is 60 years old. He has a common-law wife with whom they have been living for about 13 years.

True confessions of repentant sinners about life and their actions.

Now I am 40 years old, I have an adult daughter from my first marriage. My husband and I have lived together for 17 years. She always considered marriage to be happy, although, of course, there were pitfalls. I got married after thinking it over carefully.

I chose from the fans, whom I had a lot at that time, the most intelligent, reliable and responsible guy. My husband loved me very much, our relationship was strong, stable. Home, work, child. Over time, money appeared, they lived in abundance. But I didn’t have enough emotions, feelings and I wanted to fall in love again.

My husband is a very reserved and not emotional person. He behaved towards me like a "biscuit" and did not show love and romance. I met a person, bright, emotional, creative, we had an affair. My husband found out and my whole world collapsed. I asked him to forgive me, I begged him not to leave and keep the family, and he stayed. But our life has turned to hell. His coldness towards me, omissions, constant suspicions. Six months later, I decided to leave the family.

I made the biggest mistake of my life. Twelve years ago, I left my son, or rather, I gave him up to be raised by my mother. Now I want to establish a relationship with him, but he does not make contact with me. I do not know what to do.

It’s my own fault, of course. But I was very young and stupid. I found out I was pregnant when I was finishing eleventh grade. My boyfriend insisted on getting rid of the baby, and I was planning to do it. Then I went to my mother and told her everything. I asked to sign me up for an abortion and go with me, because I myself was terribly afraid. But my mother strictly forbade me to have an abortion, but offered to give birth to him and give her to her upbringing. She hoped that when I took the baby in my arms, I would change my mind and become a real mother for him. But I had my own plans for life. I entered the theater institute. Therefore, after being discharged from the hospital, I handed the child over to my mother and went to the hostel.

Once upon a time there were two families - ours and our friends. We went to visit each other, celebrated holidays, the children had a lot of fun and played together. All honor for honor.

With surprise, I began to notice that Kostya was casting fiery, undoubtedly interested glances at me. Although there is nothing to be surprised at, he is a man who adores the female sex. So I did not attach any importance to all this. It should be noted that his wife constantly annoyed me with such unobtrusive remarks, petty quibbles, instructions, arguments out of the blue. To which I always mumbled something incomprehensible and waved it off sluggishly.

Once, in the midst of our regular festive gatherings, Nastya was honored to say something sharp to me, so harshly and rudely that the whole company, who had been talking lively before, quieted down from surprise. The situation was still the same. At that moment I was silent. For a week I walked in a stupor, and then I thought that I could take revenge on her.

Married with her husband for four years, they had been dating for two years before. They started a relationship at the age of 17. This is my first man. Lived together since the age of 18, then got married. There are no children yet. There were all sorts of problems and crises in the family, once they even parted for several months due to the fact that the relationship was at an impasse, the husband did not have enough free life. As a result, we got back together and lived well for the next years, but in the last few months they began to swear more, sex almost disappeared, I didn't even want to spend time with him alone.

She gave birth to a girl almost 7 months ago. For a very long time they could not. The list included about 5 names. I suggested one of them, and it somehow caught on with my eldest daughter and my husband. I still doubted, I could not find an affectionate diminutive for him. In general, when she gave birth, her husband asked: "What do we call Sarah?" I offered to think some more, to which he replied: “Well, this is Sarah! So I wrote it down. "

I am 25 years old, gave birth to my daughter 2.5 months ago. I love her very much, but for some reason there is no complete realization that I am a mother. Unfortunately, the parents live far away and rarely come to help. The husband's parents do not come at all. My husband works, comes in in the evening, and starts having supper for two hours, then he has some other things to do, and then only I have a couple of hours to do household chores.

Recently, my daughter has not slept at all during the day, she constantly cries, if she falls asleep, then only 30 minutes. I am very tired of the fact that there is no help and we are alone all day. I'm tired of Groundhog Day. Sometimes, when a child cries and cries, psychosis takes over me, and sometimes I break down, I can yell at her or jerk her leg or arm, but not hard. I understand intellectually that I scare the child, but my hands and tongue work faster, which makes me very ashamed.

I hate myself for all my thoughts, but I can't help it. Daughters are a year old in a couple of weeks, and I still dream of returning to the time when we were three - me, my husband and my son. I want to read bedtime stories to my son, go to the movies with him and play only with him. I never, everyone just said constantly “it is necessary, it is necessary”, and now I have such a terrible depression that I want to lie down and not wake up, it only stops that who will take care of my children.

I am now 48 years old, my ex-wife is 42. And everything happened when I was 44, and she was 38. At that time we were married for 18 years, we had two children. And she was the closest person whom I trusted infinitely. And all the years of her life together she supported my opinion in her extreme decency. I’ll say right away that I’m a well-to-do person and all this time fulfilled her every whim, and even pulled all her relatives, her mother and the family of her older brother, together with my brother, I thought it was right. And the wife was a good mother and mistress. Probably the only conflict was that I did not want a third child, I thought that my daughters had already grown up and could live for themselves, but she needed a son (now I would agree).

We lived smoothly, even her relatives were surprised that we practically do not swear, and the ex-wife admits that we were very compatible in everyday life, and our life together was comfortable. With sex, everything was of high quality, and I did not want to go to other beds, and she, too, and the lie detector later confirmed this. Usually we went on vacation twice a year, sometimes trips together for 4-5 days without children. And once a year I let her go with friends and daughters, and more often with her relatives somewhere. And she let me go to regattas without any problems.

I am over 50 years old, and love never came. Although I am married, I don’t love my husband, and I didn’t. I got married because my future husband loved me, and my heart seemed to be crushed by a stone, even physically it is sometimes difficult to sigh. We live without scandals, in a friendly way, but it's not that.

Never fell in love. I was brought up in childhood in such a way that I could never show feelings - it is impossible, indecent, restraint, restraint and again restraint, no matter how something happens. I was ashamed of myself, and of my sympathies, and desires, could not speak normally with the guys, for some reason began to get scared, ashamed, and could even say nasty things to them, drive them away. She behaved arrogantly.

This list is designed for people who are beginning the church life and who want to repent before God. As you prepare for confession, write down the sins that expose your conscience from the list. If there are many of them, you need to start with the most difficult - mortals. You can take communion only with the blessing of a priest. Repentance BEFORE GOD presupposes not an indifferent enumeration of your bad deeds, but a sincere condemnation of your sinfulness and a resolve to be corrected!

I (name) sinned before GOD: weak faith (doubt in His being). I have neither love nor proper fear for God, therefore I rarely confess and receive communion, (what brought (a) soul up petrified insensibility towards God), Rarely attend church on Sundays and holidays (work, trade, entertainment these days). I don’t know how to repent, I don’t see any sins. I do not remember death and do not prepare to appear at the judgment of God (The memory of death and future judgment helps to avoid sin.)

I have sinned: I do not thank God for His mercies. Not obeying the will of God (I wish everything was my way). Out of pride, I hope in myself and people, and not in God. By attributing success to yourself and not to God. Fear of suffering, impatience of sorrow and disease (they are allowed by God to cleanse the soul from sin). In a murmur at the cross of life (fate), at people. Faint-heartedness, despondency, sadness, accusation of cruelty to God, despair of salvation, desire (attempt) to commit suicide.

I have sinned: Being late and leaving church early. Inattention during the service (to reading and singing, talking, laughing, dozing ...). Walking around the temple unnecessarily, pushing and rude. Out of pride, he left the sermon criticizing and condemning the priest. In female impurity, she dared to touch the shrine.

I have sinned: out of laziness I don't read morning and evening prayers (completely from the prayer book), I cut them down. I pray absentmindedly. She prayed with her head uncovered, disliking her neighbor. A careless image of the sign of the cross. Not wearing a cross. By the unreverent veneration of St. icons and shrines of the Church. To the detriment of prayer, reading the Gospel, Psalms and spiritual literature, I watched TV (God-fighters through films teach people to break the commandment of God about chastity before marriage, adultery, cruelty, sadism, damage the mental health of young people. Through Harry Potter ... In the media, this lawlessness before God is presented as something positive, in color and romantic form. Christian! Avoid sin and save yourself and your children for Eternity !!!). Faint-hearted silence, when they blasphemed in my presence, shame to be baptized and confess the Lord in public (this is one of the types of denial of Christ). Blaspheme against God and every shrine. Wearing shoes with crosses on the soles. By using newspapers for everyday needs ... where it is written about God ... He called animals by the names of people "Vaska", "Masha". He spoke about God not reverently and without humility.

I have sinned: I dared to start Communion without proper preparation (without reading the canons and prayers, concealing and belittling sins in confession, in enmity, without fasting and prayers of thanksgiving ...). Did not spend Holy Communion days (in prayer, reading the Gospel ..., but indulged in entertainment, eating, eating, idle talk ...).

I have sinned: violation of fasts, as well as Wednesday and Friday (By fasting these days, we honor the sufferings of Christ.) I do not (always) pray before meals, work, and after (A prayer of thanks is read after meals and work). Satedness in food and drink, drunkenness. Secret eating, delicacy (sweet tooth). Ate the blood of animals (bloodstream ...). (Forbidden by God - Leviticus 7,26-27; 17, 13-14, Acts 15, 20-21,29). On the fast day, the festive (memorial) table was modest. Commemorated the dead with vodka (this paganism does not agree with Christianity either).

I have sinned: idle talk (empty talk about everyday vanity ...). By telling and listening to vulgar anecdotes. Condemnation of people, priests and monks (but I don’t see my sins). Hearing and retelling gossip and blasphemous anecdotes (about God, the Church and the clergy). (By this, a temptation was sown through ME, and the name of God was blasphemed among people). Remembering the name of God in vain (unnecessarily, in empty talk, jokes). Lies, deceit, failure to fulfill the promises given to God (people). Foul language, obscene (this is blasphemy against the Mother of God) swearing with the mention of evil spirits (the evil demons summoned in conversations will harm us). Slander, the spread of bad rumors and gossip, the disclosure of other people's sins and weaknesses. I listened to backbiting with pleasure and agreement. By pride he humiliated his neighbors with ridicule (jokes), stupid jokes ... immoderate laughter, laughter. He laughed at the beggars, the crippled, the grief of others ... God’s, false oath, perjury at trial, justification of criminals and condemnation of the innocent.

I have sinned: laziness, not wanting to work (living at the expense of parents) seeking bodily peace, numbness in bed, the desire to enjoy a sinful and luxurious life. ... ... Smoking (among the American Indians, smoking tobacco had a ritual meaning - worship of demon spirits. A smoking Christian - a traitor to God, a demon worshiper and a suicide - is harmful to health). Drug use. Listening to pop and rock music (chanting human passions, arouses base feelings). Addicted to gambling and spectacle (cards, dominoes, computer games, TV, cinemas, discos, cafes, bars, restaurants, casinos ...). (The godless symbolism of cards, when playing or fortune-telling, is designed to blasphemously mock the suffering of Christ the Savior. And games destroy the psyche of children. Shooting and killing, they become aggressive, prone to cruelty and sadism, with all the ensuing consequences for parents).

I have sinned: corrupted my soul by reading and examining (in books, magazines, films ...) erotic shamelessness, sadism, immodest games, (A person corrupted by vices displays the qualities of a demon, not God), dancing, myself (a) danced, (They led to the martyrdom of John the Baptist, after which dancing for Christians is a mockery of the memory of the Prophet). Delight in prodigal dreams and the remembrance of past sins. Not distancing yourself from sinful dating and temptation. Lustful view and liberty (immodesty, hugs, kisses, impure body touch) with persons of the opposite sex. Fornication (sexual intercourse before the wedding). Prodigal perversions (masturbation (masturbation), postures, oral and anal fornication). Sodom sins (homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, incest (fornication with relatives).

Introducing the temptation of men, she shamelessly dressed in short and with SLITS skirts, trousers, shorts, tight-fitting and see-through clothing, (This violated the commandment of God about the appearance of a woman. She should dress beautifully, but within the framework of Christian shame and conscience. A Christian woman should be the image of God, and not theomachy, repainted, shaved-naked, with a clawed paw instead of a human hand, the image of Satan) she cut her hair, dyed her ... in this form, not respecting the shrine, dared to enter the temple of God. Participation in beauty contests, photo models, masquerades (malanka, driving a goat, hallowin festival ...), and also in dancing with prodigal actions. Was (a) immodest (at) in gestures, body movements, gait. Bathing, sunbathing and nudity in the presence of persons of the opposite sex (contradicts Christian chastity). Seduction to sin. Selling your body, pimping, renting out premises for fornication.

I have sinned: adultery (adultery in marriage). Not a married marriage. Lustful intemperance in a marital relationship (on posts, Sundays, holidays, atpregnancy, in the days of female impurity). Perversions in married life (positions, oral, anal fornication). Wishing to live for his own pleasure and avoiding life's difficulties, he protected himself from conceiving children. Using "contraceptives" (spiral, pills do not interfere with conception, but kill the child at an early stage). Killed my children (abortion). Counseling (coercing) others to abortion (men, with tacit consent, or forcing their wives ... to have an abortion are also infanticides. Doctors who perform abortions are murderers, and assistants are accomplices).

I have sinned: ruined the souls of children, preparing them only for earthly life (did not teach (a) about God and faith, did not instill in them love for church and home prayer, fasting, humility, obedience. Did not develop a sense of duty, honor, responsibility ... are engaged, what they read, with whom they are friends, how they behave). Punished them too harshly ( taking out anger, and not for correction, he called names (a), cursed (a).He tempted children with his sins(and intimate relationships with them, swearing, foul language, watching immoral television programs).

I have sinned: joint prayer or transition to schism (Kyiv Patriarchate, UAOC, Old Believers ...), union, sect. (Prayer with schismatics and heretics leads to excommunication: 10, 65, Apostolic canons). Superstition (faith in dreams, omens ...). Appeal to psychics, "grandmothers" (pouring wax, swinging eggs, draining fear ...). Desecrated himself with urine therapy (in the rituals of Satanists, the use of urine and feces has a sacrilegious meaning. Such "treatment" is a vile desecration and devilish mockery of Christians), the use of "spoken" by the sorcerers ... Fortune telling on cards, fortune telling (for what?). I was afraid of sorcerers more than God. Coding (from what?).

Passion for oriental religions, occultism, Satanism (indicate with what). Attending sectarian, occult ... meetings. Doing yoga, meditation, dousing according to Ivanov (It is not the pouring itself that is condemned, but the teaching of Ivanov, which leads to the worship of him and nature, and not God). Eastern martial arts (worship of the spirit of evil, - teachers, and the occult teaching about the disclosure of "internal possibilities" leads to communication with demons, obsession ...).Reading and storage Occult literature banned by the Church: magic, palmistry, horoscopes, dream books, prophecies of Nostradamus, literature of the religions of the East, teachings of Blavatsky and the Roerichs, Lazarev "Diagnostics of Karma", Andreev "Rose of the World", Aksenov, Klizovsky, Vladimir Megre, Taranov, Svaginazh, Verese Garaffins Makovy, Asaulyak ... (The Orthodox Church warns that the writings of these and other occult authors have nothing in common with the teachings of Christ the Savior. A person through occultism, entering into deep communication with demons, falls away from God and ruins his soul, and mental illness will be the proper retribution for pride and presumptuous flirtation with demons.) Coercion (advice) and others to contact them and do it.

I have sinned: theft, sacrilege (church theft). Love of money (addiction to money and wealth). Non-payment of debts (wages). Greed, stinginess in alms and purchase of spiritual books ... (and I spend on whims and entertainment without stint). Selfishness (using someone else's, living at someone else's expense ...). Wanting to get rich he gave (a) money at interest. Trade in vodka, cigarettes, drugs, contraceptives, immodest clothing, porn ... (by this he helped the demon to destroy himself and people - an accomplice in their sins). I communicated, hung up, passed off a bad product for a good one ...

I have sinned: pride, envy, flattery, deceit, insincerity, hypocrisy, man-pleasing, suspiciousness, gloating. Forcing others to sin (lie, steal, peep, eavesdrop, inform, drink alcohol ...). Desire for fame, respect, gratitude, praise, primacy ... By doing good for show. Bragging and self-admiration. Flaunting before people (wit, looks, abilities, clothes ...).

Sinned: disobedience to parents, elders and bosses, insulting them. Whims, stubbornness, contradiction, self-will, self-justification. Laziness to study. Careless caring for elderly parents, relatives ... (left them unattended, food, money, medicine ..., handed them over to a nursing home ...).

Sinned: pride, resentment, rancor, hot temper, anger, vindictiveness, hatred, irreconcilable hostility. Insolence and audacity (climbed (la) out of line, pushed (las). Cruelty to animals. Abused family members, was the cause of family scandals. Not carrying out joint work on raising children and maintaining the economy, parasitism, drinking money, handing over children to an orphanage ... (professional sport damages health and develops pride, vanity, a sense of superiority, contempt, a thirst for enrichment in the soul ...), for fame, money, robbery (racketeering). Rough treatment of neighbors, causing harm to them (what?). Assault, beatings, murder. Not protecting the weak, the beaten, women from violence ... Violation of traffic rules, drunk driving ... (which endangered people's lives).

Sinned: careless attitude to work (public office). He used his social position (talents ...) not for the glory of God and the benefit of people, but for personal gain. Oppression of subordinates. Giving and accepting (extortion) bribes (which could lead to harm to public and private tragedies). Plundered state and collective property. Having a leading position, he did not care about suppressing the teaching in schools of immoral subjects, not Christian customs (corrupting the morality of the people). He did not provide assistance in the spread of Orthodoxy and suppression of the influence of sects, sorcerers, psychics ... (which contributed to the destruction of the souls of people). He did not defend church relics, did not provide assistance in the construction and repair of churches and monasteries ...

Laziness to any good deed (did not visit lonely, sick, prisoners ...). I did not consult with the priest and elders in matters of life (which led to irreparable errors). Gave advice, not knowing if it was pleasing to God. With a passionate love for people, things, occupations ... He tempted others with his sins.

I justify my sins by everyday needs, illness, weakness, and that no one has taught us to believe in God (but we ourselves were not interested in this). He seduced people into unbelief. Attended the mausoleum, atheistic events ...

Cold and unfeeling confession. I sin deliberately, trampling on a convicting conscience. There is no firm determination to correct your sinful life. I confess that I have offended the Lord with my sins, I sincerely regret it and will try to correct myself.

Indicate other sins with which he sinned (a).

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Note! As for the possible temptation from the sins cited here, it is true that fornication is abhorrent, and it must be spoken of carefully. The Apostle Paul says: "Fornication and all uncleanness and covetousness should not even be named among you" (Eph. 5: 3). However, through television, magazines, advertising ... he entered the life of even the youngest so much that prodigal sins are not considered a sin by many. Therefore, it is necessary to talk about this in confession and call everyone to repentance and correction.

Mystical stories from life, which are very difficult to explain from the point of view of logic.

My friend was always interested in mysticism, she loved to tell me her dreams, premonitions, although she knew perfectly well how I felt about it. Previously, she offered to go to the next fortune teller, assuring that this one was definitely telling the truth. When I refused, she was offended.

I am a pronounced extrovert, and I had a lot of energy before (before my illness). Not just a lot, but a lot. As a result, a lot of people fed on me, and I didn’t feel sorry for it, except for those cases when a person took this energy by force, mainly through a scandal.

Distinguish between solar and lunar energy vampires. Solar ones are those who all the time scream, scandal, arrange tantrums, provoke quarrels and themselves expect the same reaction in response. As soon as his victim breaks down, screams or cries, the solar vampire immediately begins to shine. Moon vampires, like "gray mice", quiet and sluggish, not touchy, will forgive you any rudeness. They value friendship with you, because they managed to find a key for you and learned how to gently open the floodgates of your energy channels. And the very magnetic essence of the lunar vampire siphons energy to itself. "In a still whirlpool there are devils" - this is about people-vampires of the lunar nature. They are aggressive only with a loved one, only with family members they can afford to be rude and cruel. Outside the house, they are quieter than water and below the grass, ingratiating, lisping. In general, all vampires are characterized by duplicity: at work they are alone, but at home they are completely different.

For a year I worked in this company as a logistics manager. In addition to free tea and coffee, I did not notice any positive aspects. The team is weird, rather diverse, there are also young twenties and even a disabled pensioner grandmother without an arm. The number is small - together with a cleaner and a janitor, twenty people. We carried out labor activities under the guidance of a graduate of a new-fangled university, who teaches anyone who wanted for money on weekends.

I'm 34 years old. 9 years ago I met my wife, fell in love with her, a year later the wedding, two sons were born - 4 and 2 years old. They have no soul for tea. I rejected everything for the sake of my family, I have nothing. Until 2017, he earned a lot of money, bought a two-room apartment near the metro, everything seems gorgeous, but whisper to his wife. She is also divorced.

My wife is constantly in fortune-tellers, claims that life has seized her, and that I will not let her go to her friends. Then they started a case against me, they began to extort an apartment, I made a prenuptial agreement that my wife's apartment is now, without hesitation. Six months ago, my wife transferred the apartment behind her back and said that she was now hers and this was for the sake of the children. I forgiven, but before the New Year, for no reason, she and the children went to her mother-in-law, before that she filed for divorce and told me to leave.

Today I decided to confess and tell my story. It so happened that literally two or three days ago I see in a dream my classmate whom I have loved since I was 12 years old. Now I am already 30, so these feelings have been living in me for a long time. Well, we would love each other, but only I loved him. And, to be honest, I don’t even know. It seemed to me that there was sympathy, but that sincere feelings, most likely, not.

In general, I have a dream, the two of us are talking about something, we are in some kind of room for students, and suddenly this room turns into some kind of cave. Here we both laugh at jokes, communicate, we feel so good. I feel sympathy on his part, he hugs me, kisses my hands in every possible way, presses them to him. All of us, who were in such a closed room, were like in Greek robes, and then our teacher calls one of the guys and comes up to the window, so uneven. I go up to him, and we see how one woman below us takes and gives into the hands of a classmate an octopus, such a small one. We are touched, and then this octopus instantly begins to slip from the hands of his beloved and crawls right into his ear.

This is a sad life story about my separation from my beloved man.

In 2003 I met a guy named Dmitry. We were friends, talked, went to monasteries. Everything was great with us until a woman named Anna, divorced and with two children, met on the way of Dmitry. She, possessing magical knowledge, had a great influence on Dmitry and soon they had a wedding. A year later, their common son Eugene was born.

I was very upset, not understanding why Dima betrayed me, because we were happy together for 10 years. And here, on the way, a rival in three days took possession of him, intoxicated, and I was left alone with pain in my soul.

From early childhood, I remember how something inside me, more precisely through my inner voice, spoke to me. Explained something to me. I distinctly remember how one day my mother and I were traveling from the south of Kazakhstan to Chita by train. I remember that we got off the train somewhere in some small town because my mother was robbed. As my dad told me later, many years later, they stole gold from her, which he bought from the money he earned. It was the 90s. I do not remember exactly. I was five years old then.

And so we went somewhere with her on her business. I held her hand all the time, and in the other hand I held a doll that my mother bought me at the station. I remember it was small. Her eyes opened and closed, and there was also a hole in her mouth for a bottle. The bottle was in the doll's hand. I remember how happy I was then, and there was some kind of gratitude, the feeling as if my mother would no longer beat me. Everything will be wonderful with my doll. I filled a bottle with water and the doll seemed to be drinking from it. And somehow we suddenly broke away and rushed off somewhere (it was cold) rather autumn. I was wearing so many clothes, and it was for growth, that I could hardly hold this doll in my little hands. As a result, I dropped it somewhere, only the bottle remained. When my mother and I went and looked for my doll, she kept scolding me: “What are you. I won't buy you anything else and you won't see such dolls. Where could you lose her? Come on, there is no more time to search. " And the inner voice speaks to me in her language, explains to me and even tries to calm me down. He said that there would definitely be a doll, she just went to visit, and then she would return.

My older sister hates me. She is several years older than me, we grew up separately, she was given to grandfather and grandmother, and I was with mom and dad. As a child, I remember how dad constantly scolded her and was strict with her, and he loved me. As a child, I was a daddy's daughter. But when I was 7 years old, my dad started drinking, there were scandals, fights, the family was falling apart. Soon, mother and father divorced completely, father slowly drank himself into alcohol, and we went to grandfather. Lived with him - me, mother, grandfather and my sister.

Relations with my sister were incomprehensible, then she beat me for offense, then she pitied me, for some reason did not let me go out for a walk, if she let me go, then for an hour and God forbid to be late. A couple of years later, my grandfather died, the three of us stayed in his apartment. After school, my sister immediately got married and brought her husband to our house. Then hell began for me.

10 February 2017 - Posted by Guest

My story is about my relationship with my son, but I want to start it from the moment of parting with my husband.

I loved this man, but did not stop him when he began to leave. In the beginning, he became jealous of me, then closed and withdrawn into himself. It upset me and sometimes we fought, but I didn’t stop him and I didn’t stop myself. I kind of moved by inertia and the less I interacted with my husband, the more I interacted with other people. There were many different men around, someone fell in love, someone was simply always there ready to support. At the same time, I did not want a relationship with them. I was pleased how they look at me, how they give me their warmth, it is nice that I could just look towards such a man as he is here and ready to share his best qualities. This was my circle, my reality. I considered myself superior to other women, for me they were either too masculine or not beautiful, or gray mice. There were, of course, girlfriends, I was, as it were, on the same team with them.

When my man began to leave, it was gradual, even then I remained passive and did not try to change anything, it was as if I didn’t care. I saw that he began to look for other women and turn away from me. I was in pain, but these feelings were on the surface, not inside. I had ice inside and I couldn't get there. When we decided to leave, I was even glad for him, that without me it would be easier and better for him, and I could do it myself and could raise our child. I had financial well-being and the support of other people. And I felt that there would be no problems, although I understood that the child needs a father and that sooner or later his own father would stop coming and their meetings would be very rare, and the stepfather would never replace his own father. Then I clearly decided not to bring another man into the family, I can support the family on my own, and let the men be outside this circle.

I didn’t try to stop him, when he was leaving, somewhere deeply I felt that you couldn’t leave me, that I was the best and his leaving, as I realized later, seemed to me temporary, something that would soon end or something will just replace it. But nothing and no one ever replaced him, although many men knocked on my doors and even had love and relationships, but the same thing that happened to him never happened. I had already made my choice and chose the one from whom I wanted to give birth to a child, and it became clear to me that such a choice is made once in a lifetime, in any case, it was so for me.

People themselves entered my life and showed themselves. And I just had to say whether I want to interact with them or not. There was always a choice, but as I understood, it was always not my choice, I chose from those who chose me, but I never chose myself. I was like a director at the screening, people came and I evaluated them and told them "yes", you can still be here or not, you are not interesting to me. And although I made the main choice, but when he left, I remained this director, sitting in a chair and did not understand that I had to get up and start acting, because this was the root of my whole life, my family, my son, my husband, this what I really wanted and appreciated, but there was a lot of other things in life, but that was the main thing and when it collapsed, I just turned away, feeling that I alone would remain full and independent and that in fact I didn't need anyone ... The most interesting thing is that everyone told me to stop him, my parents, psychologists, some close friends, except for the men who supported me, consoled me and were ready to lend me their shoulder, then for some reason I did not admit to myself that they did it largely out of self-interest, they wanted to take advantage of me and the elimination of the main competitor was in their hands. Although they most likely did so without realizing all this, in fact they were not bad people.

It really hurt me when my ex-husband started a new family. I didn't even understand what happened. As if I had been electrocuted, I woke up and opened my eyes. It was only then that I realized how much I loved him, that I had chosen him to give birth to a child and live together all my life. For the first time, I felt so deeply and so strongly. I realized that for all the time of our life together and our parting, I did nothing to change something, nothing to stop the destruction. I did not go to meet him and did not get rid of some habits and attachments that spoiled our relationship.

After he created a new family, I had the strongest bitterness, as if I had poisoned myself. I realized that I had betrayed myself, did not take a single attempt, not a single step, not a single movement to stop our parting, while continuing to do what was separating us. I still did not understand why I acted this way. Although she acted, or rather did not act like that in all situations.

When I found out that my ex-husband got married and that he had a child, I learned both news at once. Something snapped deep in me. Not that I consoled myself with the hope that he would return, no, in my mind, I well understood that he was such a person that he would most likely start a family. But when I parted with him, it was like in a dream, some part understood what was happening, my superficial part, but in the depths of my soul there was no understanding of what was happening. But at that moment I clearly felt how everything collapsed, I realized that my child did not become a father, I realized that for my man I became a stranger woman and our child became a child from a stranger woman, and now he has a beloved and has his children from his wife. Never when I so completely and precisely did not understand that this man was mine and I chose him to give birth to a child and live my whole life together, it was also my choice, but I never admitted it to myself. And it turned out that I let go of my main choice so easily, for the sake of some little things and temporary things, I lost what I had chosen for the rest of my life. In those days I cursed myself, I wanted to bang my head against the wall, I wanted to scream and cry. My soul woke up again and resented what my mind had done. My pride, arrogance and the feeling that I am so important that I do not need anyone, now collapsed and I saw them as just stupidity that ruled my life and forced me to make decisions or be passive in situations when it was necessary to act. I was a woman, a mother, a keeper of the hearth, the one who had to glue, unite the family, but I was the one who destroys and when it was necessary to unite and protect the family, I remained passive and allowed this to happen. While my ex-husband was waiting for these steps from me and, without waiting, decided that I did not love him and did not want to be with him. It was only now that I realized that by not saying anything, I was making him think the worst about my feelings for him.

It was very hard for me. She took the child to her mother for several months, while she tried to come to her senses and became even more in need of other people. I couldn't even spend 10 minutes alone with myself, I needed to call someone, meet someone, spend time in the company of others, and that saved me. I felt at ease being surrounded by people. And I even started a relationship, as it seemed to me with a very worthy person, and even thought about remarriage, but they ended very painfully for me and after a while, I entered into a relationship again, and my condition was already painful, my emotions did not obey me , I became very flighty, my mood changed many times a day. This relationship ended even worse for me and I realized that I was falling into a hole and could not stop. Then one of my friends saved me, she was older than me and, unfortunately, she is no longer in this world, the illness that tormented her for many years led to death. She was a very wise and strong woman, I am very grateful to her for a lot. And the fact that she was there at that moment became salvation for me. She just put me in the car and took me to the village church to confess to a friend of hers, I didn't even know what was happening, she just said that we would go to pray. Before that, I did not attend church and did not consider myself a believer. And the attempts of my friend to convey some kind of Orthodox values for me caused only rejection in me. But then I did not resist, I needed something like that. When we got there and the priest started asking me about my life, I just burst into tears. I confessed for three hours, sobbing and screaming, all my inner pain that had been accumulating all my life burst out. In the end, I felt a complete devastation, but calm also came.

For several days I was just alone with myself. I managed to understand what I need in life. Having finally come to my senses, I took the child from my parents, although they wanted him to stay with them, but I knew that I would never part with my child and I would take care of him myself, feeling that I could with to cope with it.

Having lost an irretrievably loved one, I went into myself, went very deeply like never before. Now I saw much more, I saw that my life has changed and I need to act, I need to raise a child, raise myself, build life in our family under new conditions.

Only now I realized with horror that my ex-husband never wanted to leave the family, I and the child were very dear to him and he wanted to live with us all his life. But it was hard for him with me and the further, the harder and he could not stand it, it was very difficult and unbearably difficult for him to leave, but at some point he realized that he could not stay any longer and made his choice. I still don’t understand why I didn’t make my choice then. I have always believed that I can choose myself and be independent in my life. But now I see that when I need to choose how to have fun, how to spend time, what to learn, etc., then I chose myself. But in the main life situations, the choice was made for me. All men, including my husband, chose me themselves, I just, at some point, gave myself up to this choice. And I never thought or felt that something was wrong here, for me it was the norm. Now I understand that by behaving like this I betrayed myself and when my whole essence wanted to make my choice, I remained passive, giving people the opportunity to choose for themselves, and the choice of my husband concerned not only his life, but also mine and our child. My husband was clearly expecting this choice from me, waiting for at least some signal, but I did not even move. And the child also spoke as best he could and with all his behavior showed that he, too, was in favor of the family being preserved. And in the end, it was my passivity that destroyed everything, some kind of inner deafness to others and to myself prevented me from seeing the most obvious, the very thing I heard about a hundred times, saw in films, read poetry and songs in books. And most importantly, she wanted it most of all, but some part of me dictated what to do. And the first thing I repeated to myself was that I shouldn't ask to stay, I am a woman, I am above that. And the second thought, which seemed highly spiritual, told me that I can let him go and if he wants to, then let him leave, it will be better for him, but I forgive and stay. But I could not make a step towards a meeting, decide to stop this destruction and start creating.

I understand that if we had stayed with him, I hardly understood all this and we would have continued to torment each other, but I was bitter that by the time I realized it was too late, although after our parting about two years had passed, but this time was not enough for me to understand all this.

Several years have passed and I have accepted what it was. Then there was the death of my father, he was against our divorce and he insisted that I would save the family, but at that moment it seemed to me that it was not possible. This was the reason that we began to communicate little with him and for the last few years of his life we were strangers. This is a very large and separate topic in my life, it is very difficult for me to talk about it.

But the main thing I wanted to write about is how my relationship with my son has changed.

A catalyst for me was a visit to a nursing home in Moscow, where my aunt lived, she did a lot for me, and when I am in the capital, I visit her. Usually we talked with her, walking on the street, since it was unbearable for me to be inside. But on that day, the aunt was severely detained during the procedures, and it was raining outside. I was waiting for her in the common room, where there were many old women and several old people. I saw myself getting a lot of attention from these elderly people. It can be seen that they lack communication, but I really did not want to communicate with them. It was very difficult to be there. They walked by smiling and saying some typical phrases, trying to strike up a conversation, and I smiled sweetly and called all my friends, pretending to be busy and trying not to notice what was happening around. But when it was no longer possible to think of who else to call and what to say, I just sat down and tried to relax. I began to tell myself that they are all wonderful people, that I can devote my time and attention to them and this will be a good deed that sometimes needs to be done.

I just sat there. And first one old woman, then two more sat down next to me. They first asked simple questions and then began to tell their stories. After a while, most of the old people were already around me. They were carrying chairs from other rooms and we had a long conversation. It was mostly grannies who spoke, interrupting, and sometimes scolding and calling each other names. I could not get rid of the unpleasant feelings, they all looked irritable and full of regret. At first they scolded their children and grandchildren for the fact that they rarely visit them, then, on the contrary, they praised them, or rather bragging about them to each other. And if one began to praise her son, the others interrupted her, starting to say that their children were better or cut off each other, saying that “like such a good son, he does not visit her.” Then it became a little calmer and they began to tell stories of their youth. And here strange things began to happen to me, I listened to them, as if I recognized myself. These were stories about meetings with some officers or famous people or with someone else whom they considered very interesting, vivid and important. These stories in one to one were similar to those meetings that were in my life. Interesting, beautiful, famous, strong men, they were close, they spoke beautiful words and compliments. They went with them to theaters, to cinema and exhibitions and somewhere else. But all this seemed so unnecessary and superficial, there was a feeling that being carried away by this they had lost something truly deep and important. And now they only have memories and stories about people who are no longer alive. And all the women are already old and, apparently, no one loves them or comes. Yes, their children had enough money to place them in a good nursing home, but with this act they simply got rid of them, not wanting to see their parents next to them in their lives. And I clearly saw that these women were the same with their children, they did not spare money on them, giving them to good schools and universities and helped to start in life, but they were greedy with their attention, giving time to themselves, their hobbies, entertainment or career. And now the children, quite logically, answered them the same. They just pay money, doing what they think is good for their parents, but are not ready to devote their time and attention to them, which makes these old people very unhappy.

And realizing this, I just ran out of there. I ran in the rain and thought about my son, about my only and beloved child, about the person closest to me. I clearly understood that I had not communicated with him for a very long time, that interaction with him was reduced to simple quick phrases, twitching and talking about grades and studies. He is closed from me and does not talk about his life. I thought that this was a notorious adolescence and that this was normal, but now I clearly understood that I spend all my time and attention on myself, on my work, my hobbies, boyfriends and trips. I am completely occupied with my world and limit my communication with my son to repetitive phrases and actions. I became a lot of girlfriends who had similar hobbies. There were still men who were interested in me, but they could not interest me, as one old friend of mine said, "now we have only crumbs from this eternal celebration of life."

I cried and worried a lot, and decided not to go to psychological training, for which I came to Moscow.

I returned home and for several days just lived, not rushing anywhere and not in a hurry, not looking for connections with friends and other people. Without trying to get to the most interesting events taking place in our city. I just lived at home with my son. Every day I began to cook simple homemade dishes, did not turn on the TV. And when the son was at home, we just talked. I didn’t teach him about life, I didn’t give him advice, but somehow very simply, at first about the weather, about food, about school, etc.

I didn’t prepare myself to meet him. I was just relaxed and calm, because finally I didn't have to rush somewhere, to run somewhere, I didn't expect some important call or message. I just lived. It seems to me that such peace has never been in my life, although I still did not go to work, went on public transport and sometimes talked with my friends on the phone when they called me, although I often began to turn off the phone, and on Sunday morning I I still went to church, but no longer rushed closer to the altar, but simply lit candles and said my prayers for those closest to me.

We now talk about a lot with him and even began to talk about the times when his father was with us, although these topics have long turned into taboo, and somehow by themselves. Now we happily remember our dad and the times when we were together. The son called him a couple of times and met with him and everything went well for them.

I know many people think that such communication with his son makes him a mama's son, especially since he grows up without a father. But I don't think so. Of course, I feel that he did not receive a lot, having lost his father, that I myself have missed a lot. I believe that he will be a full-fledged, strong and intelligent person and that he will have a happy life. I support him in his endeavors and nascent relationships and do not impose my point of view, I just listen and answer questions if he asks them, and to my happiness he is not afraid and does not hesitate to consult with me. Yes, I will not replace his father, but it is a tragedy when a child loses one parent, especially since this parent is alive and always wanted to be with him, but this is my fault. But I do not want to deprive him of his mother, I can be a full-fledged mother. After all, now it is far from always, even when parents are next to their child, they give them what they need.

When my son was not at home, I either cooked or cleaned up the long-term mess, practically every week I collected a whole package of unnecessary things or clothes that I gave to the beggars at the church. In the evenings, when my son was not at home, I read my favorite books and thought about my past.

During that period of my life, a lot was revealed to me. For three months I have communicated with my son more than in the last two years. As it turned out, I did not know anything about him, did not know about his feelings and hobbies, did not know how he lives. My ideas about him remained those of a little boy, and now I was rediscovering my son. And he was an adult, feeling and incredibly alive person, the closest to me. And in some ridiculous way, in recent years, the person closest to me was very far from me. We lived together and it seemed to me that we were very close, that I was a wonderful mother, but in reality we were strangers and the more time passed, the further we became. And I realized with horror that in a few years he would become a stranger to me. And perhaps not when he and I could not get close and become family again. And in 10 - 20 years I would have turned like those old women, living stupid memories and not having anyone really close. Such a simple rule, how much time and attention, and most importantly, love you devote to your children, so much they return it. And living in small meetings and stupid acquaintances, I dissipated all my warmth, all my soul, and I was simply not enough for the most important thing. And this most important thing seemed to be always there and would not go anywhere. But this is how I lost my husband and almost lost my son.

A few months later, I again decided to attend psychological trainings, but now I was not eager to visit the most famous teachers and the most significant events, but simply came to those topics that I could not make out in my life and with their help I began to understand something and go farther.

I again wanted to visit holy places, but I no longer wanted noisy pilgrimages, but wanted to go there alone. And I went to Diveyevo, the place where I had been many times, admiring the beauty and sacredness of this place. But now everything was different. I just walked alone, calmly looking at everything around, prayed and confessed. And everything around just shone with a warm and quiet glow. It was a strong inner joy, I have never rejoiced so deeply and easily. I was very grateful to everything around me, life and God. And I was grateful that I found my son again, and most importantly I found myself.

And now, coming home, I shared everything with my son, I shared my experiences and understandings, trying to be unobtrusive and not teach him, just in conversations at dinner we asked each other about what happened in our life.

And a very important event happened for me, something that I could not achieve for several years, my son himself offered to go with me next time, it was an amazing gift. There was so much happiness and joy in me that I could not sleep all night.

I approached the choice of the place responsibly. I understood that the trip should be short and decided that two days off would be enough. My choice fell on Kizhi, it seemed to me that his fascination with history will manifest itself in this place and it will be interesting for him to see it from a historical point of view, and his curiosity will manifest itself in an attempt to solve the mysteries of construction.

And we went, on the trip we talked almost all the time, played in the cities, solved crosswords, and he almost never went to his phone and tablet to communicate with friends.

The Kizhi themselves were delightful, I was afraid that the weather would be bad, but we were lucky, it was warm and sunny and there were not many people at all. We walked and watched, he read me stories about the miracles of the building, and I sincerely admired it. These two days were probably the most wonderful of my life, I just enjoyed this fabulous place and the conversation with my son.

Big changes came to my relationship with my mother. We did not see her so often, the child grew up and did not go to her for the holidays, and I did not have time for her. And when I came to her, I saw her irritation and displeasure with me. We argued a lot and I considered myself very correct and smart and easily argued with my mother, in the end she gave way. We hugged and I left happy that I had given something to my mother. But in fact, there was little soul in these meetings, I was just stronger, which made her more and more disgusting and she was angry with me.

Now I listen more. I just go to her and listen to what she has to say. In the beginning, she expressed to me all her dissatisfaction, how hard it was for her and what happened to her during this time. And I just listened or asked clarifying questions. Then we more and more began to remember the past, my childhood, my mother’s youth and, of course, my father. We both remembered dad and cried and we felt good. For the first time in my adult life, my mother became a truly close person to me. We felt good together. And even my son sometimes began to go with me to her. We even specially agreed on what it is to tell mom in order to please her.

I remember my father, how he was against my divorce, he insisted so strongly that I would get back together with my husband that we had a big fight with him and until the end of his days communicated little and purely symbolically, I even often thought that because of his persistence, I did not want to give in and do it. Although it was not his perseverance that was the point. He just hurt for me, he wanted to help so much. Now I regret that I lost my father without having time to forgive him and without having time to become truly close to the end of his life. I missed this chance and now often in my thoughts I communicate with him and pray for him, hoping that he feels this, that his soul hears me.

I understand that it is very difficult to learn other people's lessons, in order to understand something important, you have to go through it yourself. But I want my experience to reach those who need it and get at least a little into their hearts and thoughts.

My life has changed a lot. I don’t know what to call what happened, but for me it’s a miracle, I became happy and it seems to me for the first time in my life for real. Before, I always lacked something for happiness, even when everything was fine, there was always a feeling that this or that was needed. Now I have everything and even much more.

When I started writing this letter, it seemed to me that it would be several teachings that I understood from my experience, but a pure confession came out. And I am glad that I wrote this, my revelation and my experiences, perhaps, will help more than my teachings. I well understand that young women are unlikely to read this, and even if they read it, it will be difficult for them to understand. But there are many women around who have already experienced a lot, whose lives have broken down and they do not see a way out, and I want to help them with all my soul, because it is so bitter to see the misfortunes around.

I well understand that a lot of people get divorced and that often people enter into alliances with each other for life with those with whom they cannot live for a year, and such people are really better off separating. But when couples that were created for each other break up, looking at whom you understand, they can live happily together, then it becomes very sad at heart. And if you are sure that this is your case, then fight, fight for yourself, for your union. This may be the most difficult in life, but difficulties give understanding and it is good when such understanding comes when you are together, and you are never lost to each other.