Wedding tradition. Wedding traditions of the Russian people. Wedding banquet

Russia is a country famous for its traditions and rituals. A lot of customs are devoted to holding a wedding celebration, this will be discussed further. Moreover, these traditions can be associated with everything that concerns this holiday. But as much as people want to follow all the customs, they usually stick to the most basic ones.

Previously, a Russian wedding was held strictly in accordance with customs and traditions, all stages followed each other. Today, the very course of the event depends on the presenter's script, which has little to do with rituals.

Matchmaking

Russian folk weddings could not do without matchmaking. For this, the groom's parents with him had to come to the bride's house, so to speak, to woo. In the last century, parents decided for their daughters, whom they could marry and whom they could not.

Today, this tradition is almost lost, as most marriages are made for love. And young people can choose themselves with whom they will link their lives. Parents can only accept the choice of their children. But nevertheless, the tradition of asking the bride's father's hand and heart has been preserved, this is more a sign of respect than strict adherence to custom.

As before, today during matchmaking, the groom must bring the bride an engagement ring, which is later to be replaced by an engagement ring. If the groom came empty-handed, then he aroused mistrust on the part of the bride's parents.

Blessing

No Russian wedding should be complete without a blessing. In Russia, it was customary to receive the blessing of his father for marriage before marriage. Today, many people do not adhere to this tradition, and it is completely in vain. After all, if the father did not give his blessing to create a family, then his potential groom needs to be reconsidered, maybe he is not so good.

Young people were supposed to get married only after their parents allowed them and said: "God bless!" A wedding ceremony was held in Russian traditions in accordance with church rules - with icons, bread and salt and a towel. Since it was a church event, only baptized people were allowed to participate in it.

Not all marriages in Russia were blessed by their parents, and therefore sometimes the young married without a blessing, because they loved each other. Most often, in such families, the relationship with the parents after this ceased.

Today, many people follow the tradition of blessing. Even if the young people are getting married, then unbaptized people can also enter the church.

By the way, more often than not, marriages that have not received the blessing (approval) of the parents break up or are unhappy.

Kidnapping the bride and the slipper

If today the kidnapping of the bride is only for entertainment, then earlier it was an event that did not seem funny to anyone. Before the celebration of the wedding, the bride could be kidnapped, and her first wedding night in this case was to take place with a master or a merchant.

Of course, this event is unlikely to please the groom, and he will resist! The bride was stolen and taken by force to the master. But if the groom was wealthy, then he could pay off with money from such a theft procedure.

The bride kidnapping tradition

• Today, many at weddings steal the bride's shoe, although in the last century she herself had to give the shoe to her girlfriends for fitting. The girl who fit the shoe in size had to demand a ransom from the groom.
• Another tradition associated with the bride's shoe is already taking place in the midst of the holiday. The toastmaster asks the bride to take off her shoe and pours vodka into it to the very brim. The groom must drink the "witch's potion", and then all the troubles that can happen on the path of a young couple will be up to him!

Wedding dress and veil

Many Russian wedding customs are associated with the attire of the bride. The dress can be anything: lush, long, short, snow-white, cream. The choice of outfit depends on the bride's preferences and traditions.

Very rarely, brides agree to wear a dress in which someone has already married.

But there are exceptions, for example, the following:

1. Due to the tradition of the family, the bride has to get married in her mother's dress. But it is worth noting that mother's dress should only be worn if she has a happy marriage and you want to repeat her fate.
2. Due to the high price of wedding paraphernalia and outfits, not everyone can afford to buy them new, so sometimes brides buy someone else's dresses.
3. If the bride is not getting married for the first time.

According to tradition, the bride's dress should be new and white. This color symbolizes innocence and youth.

Many, when marrying a second time, wear a dress in a shade other than white if their marriage was unhappy. But this is not the right thing to do.

The light dress also symbolizes that after entering into a legal marriage, the spouses should begin a new, cloudless life. The tradition of wearing a white dress for a wedding came from Europe. Earlier, at a Russian wedding, it was possible to see brides only in red outfits, since this color symbolizes the continuation of the family.

Modern dress with a long veil

Bridal veil is an irreplaceable attribute, which is more than 2,000 years old. Russian wedding customs suggest that only brides who are getting married for the first time should wear a veil for a holiday. If the marriage is the second, then the veil can be replaced with a hat, or you can do without it altogether by making a beautiful hairstyle.

Some brides, when remarrying, disregard traditions and wear a white veil, but this behavior always finds condemnation and unflattering responses to the hero of the occasion. The fact is that a woman who previously had an intimacy with a man was considered "unclean" in the old days; such a bride had no right to wear a veil.

Now, of course, times have changed, and intimate relationships of a loving couple before the wedding are not at all condemned, but on the contrary, are welcomed. But nevertheless, many remember and honor the traditional symbol of a girl's innocence - a white veil.

Rings

A wedding ceremony in Russia is not complete without an exchange of rings. This is an old tradition, without which it is difficult to imagine this holiday.

• You need to choose classic rings without stones and jewelry, since, according to legends, all the irregularities on the ring are misfortunes that may occur on the way of newlyweds. And due to the fact that the ring is round, these troubles will be repeated over and over again.
• Wearing wedding rings that have been passed down from generation to generation must also be worn with great care. If your ancestors were happy in marriage, then it will be a great honor for you to wear and carry through your life the relic of your parents, grandfathers and great-grandfathers.
• If someone from your family chain had misfortunes in marriage, or one of the spouses did not die of his own death, then it is better not to take on the energy of the rings of that married couple.

Ransom of the bride

Ransom is one of the Russian wedding ceremonies that distinguishes the ritual of creating a new family in our country from celebrations in other countries. But it is worth noting that the process of buying the bride itself has changed a little: if earlier it was carried out with the aim of the bride leaving the parental home, today it is arranged to entertain guests.

Wedding redemption (art.K. Trutovsky)
Wedding Ransom Today

Previously, the ransom was carried out so that the groom could prove to everyone his worth and that he could support his family. That is, this custom was of a financial nature.

You can also say about the collusion, which was popular in the last century. It took place after the matchmaking and consisted in the distribution of expenses and gifts from both sides.

Wedding

Many couples still perform the sacrament of the wedding, but earlier it was simply necessary. So the newlyweds assure their relationship before God, and if they later have to part, then this is considered a great sin. Therefore, if you are not sure of your love, which you can carry for many years, then you should not get married and take sin on your soul.

In the breakthrough century, a wedding at a Russian folk wedding was a must. For a long time, the newlyweds chose the temple in which the sacrament of the wedding would take place, as well as their outfits.

Towel

One of the main attributes of a Russian wedding can be considered a towel embroidered by the bride with her own hand. This is part of the dowry that was given to the girl. Rushnik remained in the newlyweds' house forever after the wedding.

Towels were used at weddings, there should have been two of them: the newlyweds stand on one, and their hands are tied with the second. Today, bread and salt are served on the towel to the young.

The bride had to embroider not only a towel, but also the groom's shirt on the eve of the holiday.

Bouquet and boutonniere

If we talk about the traditions of Russian weddings, then many years ago a bouquet for the bride was made by her betrothed. To do this, he could ask the neighbors for flowers growing in their gardens, and they could not refuse him. He could also pick flowers in the field.

The groom should hand the flowers to the bride after he has passed all the tests of the “redemption”. If the bride picks up a bouquet, then this indicates that she agrees to connect her life with a man. After that, the bride must pin one of the flowers on the groom's chest.

But today, the bride is unlikely to allow her husband to buy a bouquet, as it should be combined with her dress and style of celebration. But, according to tradition, the groom should not see the bride in a wedding dress before marriage.

The custom of throwing a bouquet into a crowd of unmarried girls came to Russia from Europe. But, as statistics show, such an omen does not come true so often. Previously, a round dance was gathered around the bride, and she, with her eyes closed, gave a bouquet to one of the girlfriends.

Witch

• A sorcerer was invited to the wedding of the young, who performed his rituals and protected the house from trouble, and the newlyweds - from the evil eye.
• If we talk about modernity, then no one conducts any rituals, and the role of the sorcerer is played by the toastmaster, who amuses the audience and conducts some rituals with a candle and bread and salt.

Showering with grain and divination

Today hardly anyone will remember the good old tradition of Russian weddings - showering the newlyweds with grain. After leaving the church, guests on both sides should shower the husband and wife with grain. During this, the spouse must carry the bride in his arms. But today, if this tradition is used, then instead of grain, coins, rice or rose petals are thrown.

Another tradition of Russian weddings is fortune-telling about the sex of the unborn child. After leaving the registry office, the young should tie two ribbons - pink and blue - to the legs of the pigeons and release the birds from their hands. Which of the birds flies higher, this gender will be the firstborn: with a pink ribbon - a girl, with a blue ribbon - a boy.

Family hearth

At the Russian wedding, a lot of attention was paid to creating a family hearth. This is one of the most beautiful and exciting rituals for both newlyweds and their parents. It turns out that even in Russia, a family hearth was made, which then for a long time served as a symbol and guardian of the family.

Previously, the essence of the ceremony was as follows: the parents of both parties lit candles and passed them on to the young, pronouncing words of farewell and advice to the young mistress.

Today, such a custom is manifested in a slightly different way, but its essence remains. In the last century, simple candles were used for the ritual; today, young people buy beautiful aromatic ones, most often of a red hue.

According to tradition, candles should be lit when unfavorable moments come in the family. Under the memories of the most beautiful day in the life of a family, all worries and adversities should leave home.

Thanks to this custom, parents passed on their experience to their children, and so two families were united into one big one.

It is not necessary to transfer the family hearth to four family members, only mothers of young people can do this. By lighting a candle, parents must accept both children and promise to love them as their own.

Feast

The feast is one of the traditions of the Russian wedding, which, first of all, spoke of the prosperity of the parents of the bride and groom. There were no simple dishes on the festive table, each of them had a certain meaning and appeared on the table for a reason. The task of the parents of the young was to feed as many people as possible.

The following dishes must be present on the tables:

• Meat and fish dishes.
• Bread.
• Birthday cake.
• Vegetables.

Today, the feast is transferred to the banquet halls where guests gather. And this table is not prepared by parents or even newlyweds, but by the restaurant workers, who receive money for this.

Bachelorette and bachelor parties

Someone thinks that a bachelorette party and a bachelor party is a modern tradition, but no, such gatherings were held in Russia.

Similar events are held so that the newlyweds can say goodbye to bachelorhood and take a walk. They must spend the night before the wedding separately.

Traditions when entering the house

Celebrating a Russian wedding has many traditions behind it. Many rituals are associated precisely with the entry of the newlyweds into the house where they will live. The husband must carry the bride across the threshold of their common home, thereby protecting her from disease and the evil eye.

The primordially Russian wedding ceremony is eating bread. At the entrance to the house of the young, the parents of the groom should be greeted with a festive loaf.

The following symbols of happiness and wealth could be depicted on it:

• Birds.
• Rowan bunches.
• Flowers.
• Swans.

Bread is a symbol of prosperity, and salt is a protector from any troubles and evil forces. There is even such a sign: who of the newlyweds bites off a larger piece from the loaf, he will be the master of the house. Although in Russia such a sign did not make any sense, because the main thing in the family was always a man.

In order to have money in the house, you need to spread the fur coat on the threshold with the fur up. Whoever of the newlyweds is the first to fall to his knees is the master of the house.

Dishes beating for luck

Many people know about the tradition of breaking dishes.

• Previously, clay pots were beaten, and if they broke completely, this only indicated that the bride was pure and innocent.
• And if the pots remained intact and even cracks did not appear on them, then those around them could slander the bride.
• In general, the more fragments appeared on the dishes, the happier the union of the young should have been.

Feast traditions

Previously, at Russian weddings, the word "bitter" was shouted when guests drank vodka and gave something to the young. Today this word means something completely different, and after it the newlyweds should kiss.

Many people today follow this tradition. Wedding witnesses prepare two bottles of champagne for the young couple, the first of which the couple will open on their wedding anniversary, and the second after the birth of the child.

Dance of the young in the Russian style - video

The wedding night

At the end of the Russian wedding, the main tradition should be observed - the first wedding night of the newlyweds. For a girl, this is a very important event, the husband must carry the bride to the bed in his arms in order to protect her from the demons.

• Often the first wedding night was spent in an unusual place so that the spirits could not find the newlyweds. The young went to the hayloft, to the barn.
• Today, this tradition has been preserved, and many newlyweds spend their wedding night outside the home: in a hotel, a country house, or a rented apartment.

Second wedding day

If you remember, then Russian weddings were celebrated by whole villages and sometimes for weeks. Today it is customary to hold a wedding in two days, but not all newlyweds agree to this tradition, for some, one is enough. Some people are reluctant to celebrate their second wedding day due to their limited budget.

On the second day of the wedding, young people should gather only close friends and relatives at home at a rich table. At this time, the hostess must show her skills and prove herself as a caring spouse. Some guests even interfered with the young wife: they threw garbage, then spilled water, then got dirty. All this was done specifically in order to appreciate what she was so much for.

Traditionally, guests had to be treated with pancakes. The first pancake should be with vinegar or charcoal. And the guest who ate it should not have betrayed himself in any way, on the contrary, he had to praise the hostess more than anyone else, what a fine fellow she is and how tasty she cooks. Also, for the efforts, the guest had to give the hostess money.

On the second day, people dressed up and walked around the courtyards with songs and dances. It was necessary to show friendliness and generosity. All guests on the street had to be treated with vodka.

Of course, over the years, wedding traditions and customs have changed, but the splendor of the celebration of the creation of a new family has remained. In order for the holiday to go well, you need to thoroughly prepare for it and plan everything in advance.

Today, many of the traditions of Russian weddings have turned out to be irretrievably lost, and the few that remain exist in a very modified version. Nowadays, the interest of young people in Russian wedding traditions has increased significantly. More and more young couples want to celebrate their wedding in the same way as their ancestors did a hundred, two hundred and more years ago, observing the beautiful and memorable rituals and traditions inherent in it. Today we will tell you about what wedding traditions existed before.

Even a few hundred years ago, a wedding was a complex of rituals that were performed in a strict sequence according to a scenario determined by tradition. The most important wedding ceremonies in Russia were considered matchmaking, conspiracy, bachelorette party, wedding, wedding night, wedding feast. Each of them had a certain semantic meaning. Matchmaking, for example, was expressed in negotiations between two families about the possibility of a marriage between a young man and a girl. The bride's farewell to girlhood was an obligatory stage, characterizing the transition of a young girl to the category of married women. The wedding served as a religious and legal formalization of the marriage, and the wedding night - in the form of its physical fastening. Well, the wedding feast expressed public approval of the marriage.

Performing each of these rituals in a specific sequence was considered the right way to start a family. If the sequence of ceremonies was violated, or any of them was not performed, the marriage was considered insolvent (that is, the event was not fully completed).

The wedding ritual encompassed various ritual actions that were not required to be performed. For example, a bridegroom could not have been held if the future bride and groom lived in the same settlement (village). If the guy who got married lived in another village and nothing was known about his family, the bride-show was carried out in accordance with all the established rules. If the parents of the future bride and groom knew each other very well, and there was no doubt about the marriage of their children, then matchmaking and conspiracy were carried out at the same time.

Despite the unity of the general scheme of the wedding, the wedding ritual had a local variety. For example, in the northern provinces of European Russia and in Siberia, a ritual was widespread, in which the bride had to go to the bathhouse. This rite was part of the farewell ceremony of a young girl with girlhood. In southern Russia, a loaf ceremony was an obligatory part of weddings. Individual ceremonies were carried out only in specific areas. For example, in the Pskov Province, a bride and her “retinue” had to meet the groom’s “train” on the way to church and put a bouquet of paper flowers at his feet. In other Russian regions, the groom had to pick up the bride from her parents' house and take her to church.

The wedding ceremony was attended by certain characters - wedding ranks, whose behavior obeyed the rules established by tradition, but there was also some improvisation. The bride and groom were the main characters around whom the wedding ceremony took place, and they played a passive role. The bride, with all her appearance, had to express humility, love and gratitude to the parents who raised her, and also in every possible way to show her unfriendly attitude towards the groom and his relatives. In turn, the groom had to demonstrate respect and love for the bride. The initiative participants in the wedding were the parents of the young people, godparents, as well as the closest relatives. Other protagonists at the Russian wedding were friends of the bride and groom or boyars, matchmakers, tysyatsky, boyfriend, helpers of the boyfriend (friend), loafers (young married women, happy in marriage, with good, healthy children), etc.

The most important role was assigned to the boyfriend or the main wedding manager on the part of the groom. His duties included monitoring the compliance of the wedding held with Russian traditions, entertaining those present with the help of jokes and sentences, as well as protecting the wedding participants from evil spirits. In southern Russia, an important role was played by the loaf, which was baked by the wedding loaf. Each individual wedding rite had at its disposal a special costume or item of clothing, decoration. For example, the bride had to change clothes several times during the ritual, thereby demonstrating a change in her status. At the “crying” stage, the bride was supposed to be in a mourning dress with her face covered with a scarf, during the wedding and the wedding feast she wore smart clothes, she was supposed to be smartly dressed, and the next morning after the wedding night, the young woman put on the most elegant and bright costume and a woman's headdress. The groom usually wore an embroidered square scarf (fly), which was attached to the hat, a bunch of flowers attached to a hat band and a towel thrown over his shoulders or tied instead of a belt. Matchmakers were distinguished by an embroidered towel fastened over the shoulder or red gloves on their hands. The whip was an attribute of the buddy. Wedding ceremonies, as a kind of theatrical action, included special songs, sentences, games, sayings, crying, conspiracies, and dances.

The core of the Russian wedding ritual was a complex rethinking of mythical representations of antiquity and Christian ideas. For example, its integral part was actions that reflected the distant ideas of people about the dying of a girl's soul when she passed into the category of married ladies and gained the soul of a young woman after her wedding night. Some rituals went back to the cult of distant Slavic ancestors: the crying of the bride at the grave of her parents with a prayer for a blessing for the marriage, parting with the stove when leaving home on the wedding day, etc. Often magical actions performed during the wedding (protective, producing), had a pagan character. The desire to protect and protect the young from the evil eye and damage, as well as any negative impact of the otherworldly force, forced to cover the bride's face with a handkerchief or towel, inject needles into young clothes, pronounce conspiracies, swing a whip, shoot after the wedding train, choose the roundabout path to the church. So that the young did not feel the need for family life and had many children, they were sprinkled with grain and hops, treated to chicken, and put on a fur coat turned out with fur. All these ritual actions were accompanied by prayers to Jesus Christ, Mother of God, St. Nikolai the Pleasant. In general, in Russia, they attached great importance to the blessing of their parents, asked for the protection of Christian saints, who were mentioned in the ancient lamentations.

Russian wedding ritual, history of formation.
The modern Russian wedding ceremony was based on the established traditions of the nineteenth and first quarter of the twentieth century. It was finally formed, presumably in the middle of the fourteenth century, on the basis of a common Slavic wedding ceremony. In the written materials of this period, there is a brief description of weddings using the words familiar to our hearing: "groom", "wedding", "bride", "wedding", "matchmakers". There are also preserved antique miniatures and drawings depicting wedding feasts and marriage rites. In the sixteenth century, judging by the description of princely weddings, a nomenclature of wedding ranks was formed and their functions were determined, special wedding clothing, paraphernalia, food, and wedding folklore arose.

In the second half of the seventeenth century, the traditions of the Orthodox Church began to be actively introduced into the folk wedding ceremony: the rite of parental blessing arose, the wedding ceremony became mandatory. Officials began to condemn the folk rite itself, considering it a "demonic act." In 1649, during the reign of Tsar Alexei Mikhailovich, a decree was introduced that condemned many folk wedding ceremonies and which ordered to beat people with batogs for carrying them out, and to break and burn the musical instruments used at the same time.

Matchmaking.
Matchmaking was a negotiation between families who were interested in getting married, and was also the main and obligatory ritual preceding a Russian wedding. It was accepted early to get married in Russia, while the parents of the young man themselves were engaged in choosing a bride for their son. Often, the young themselves did not even know about the upcoming wedding, they could only be notified during preparations for it. Matchmaking was approached with all seriousness and responsibility. Before deciding on it, a family council was convened, which was attended by godparents and closest relatives. Of course, when choosing a bride, the opinion of the young man and relatives was taken into account, but the parents had the last word. A beautiful bride was a girl who was physically strong, with hard work, capable of doing household and household work well, showing respect and reverence for her elders, modest, but having a sense of her own dignity. Girls from families with a good reputation were in special "demand". The girl's belonging to a clan that had been respected for several generations made it possible to judge her as a worthy daughter-in-law, the continuer of the clan-tribe.

The material well-being of the family was not taken into account when choosing a bride. It was believed that the young would be able to "make it all" themselves. Matchmakers were chosen very carefully, since the result of matchmaking often depended on their ability to conduct a conversation, to arrange the relatives of the future bride, and to represent the young man's family in a profitable way. Usually, the boy's godparents, or one of his close relatives, acted as matchmakers. Sometimes the boy's parents would invite a respected and trusted fellow villager to the matchmaker. In addition, such a responsible role was offered to eloquent people who knew how to arrange marriage affairs. In large craft settlements, large trading villages, cities, they used the services of professional matchmakers. But this custom became widespread at the beginning in cities, and even then rather late. So in the middle of the nineteenth century, such matchmaking, even in cities, was considered “fake”, therefore, after obtaining parental consent, “real” matchmakers were sent to matchmaking.

Matchmaking in those days took place with the obligatory observance of various signs, on which, according to ancient beliefs, the future life of the newlyweds seriously depended. Usually, the parents or close relatives of the groom came to the girl's house to woo or negotiate a marriage. During this ceremony, the families of young people got to know each other and made "contacts", since family ties had a rather serious weight at that time, so everything was thought out literally to the smallest detail. For matchmaking, certain days of the week were chosen, which were called "light": Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday, usually later in the evening or at night. All this was accompanied by various magical actions, which were supposed to ensure a positive outcome of the case and prevent the refusal of the bride's parents. For example, in the Pskov province, the mother of a young man beat the matchmakers who went out the door three times with a belt, accompanying them with certain magic words. In the Russian villages of the Kazan province, the matchmaker, upon arrival at the house of the chosen one, found a stupa and wrapped it around herself three times, this suggested a successful marriage (the girl would be circled three times around the lectern during the wedding). In the Perm province, a matchmaker at the entrance to the girl's house hit the threshold with his heel.

Entering the house of the future bride, the matchmakers behaved according to the village custom: they took off their hats, crossed themselves on icons, bowed to the owners, did not go to the table without an invitation and did not sit on the bench. The matchmaker was the first to start the conversation and utter the well-known phrases to all those present: “You have goods, we have a merchant”; “You have a chicken, we have a cockerel, can we drive them into one shed?”; “We do not need rye or wheat, but a red maiden,” and so on. It also happened that the matchmakers directly expressed the purpose of their arrival, they came, they say, "not to trample the floor, not to scratch the tongue, they came to do business - to look for a bride."

The parents of the bride-to-be showed gratitude for the respect shown to their family, invited to go to the front part of the hut or to the upper room, put refreshments on the table and invited them to the table. Previously, it was believed that matchmakers should be very well met, even if the groom did not particularly "glance" at the bride's parents. If the groom was not to please the bride's parents, they always expressed their refusal in a delicate manner: “Our product is not for sale, it’s not ripe,” “I’m still young, we have to wait.” In the case of the desired matchmaking, and if the guy was well known, the girl's parents gave their consent immediately. If the guy was unfamiliar or lived in another village, the parents asked the matchmakers for time to think: "To marry a daughter is not to bake a pie", "They raised not one day to give it back at once." The matchmaking greeting did not mean full consent to the wedding.

The cycle of matchmaking rites also included negotiations regarding the dowry that was given for the bride, the amount of money (masonry) allocated by the groom's parents for wedding expenses, the amount of spending on the wedding feast, the number of guests that would be at the wedding from the groom's side and from the side was discussed brides, gifts that will be exchanged by relatives during the wedding ritual. If the families were wealthy, then legally certified marriage contracts could be drawn up, which mentioned all the details of the wedding and the future life of the young family. At the end of the negotiations, the families were determined with the time of the collusion, that is, they appointed the day of the exact decision on the wedding celebration.

Glances and bride shows.
Following the matchmaking, glances and bride shows were arranged. Glances (location, loops) consisted in the arrival of the bride's parents and relatives to the groom's house to clarify his property status. This ceremony was also held solemnly, the bride's family was greeted very well: they demonstrated the house, outbuildings, cattle, the amount of grain in the barns, barns, threshing floor, planted at the festive table, talked about family legends. If the families were not familiar, then the examination was more rigorous and thorough. If the girl's parents for some reason were not satisfied with the groom's household, they could refuse the matchmaking: "Thanks for the bread and salt, it's time to go home." If they liked the inspection, they said something like this: "Everything is fine with you, we like everything, and if you need us, come to us."

At the bride (glances), the girl was officially introduced to the guy. Who wooed his family too. Usually this ceremony was performed in the house of the chosen one. It was attended directly by the groom, his parents and closest relatives. This performance was accompanied by the singing of young unmarried girls (bridesmaids of the future bride), who were also invited to this ritual. The girl put on her formal dress, she was taken to the center of the hut, asking to walk or turn around. The guests and parents of the groom, who watched this process, expressed their approval of the girl. After that, the young men walked hand in hand around the hut, got up on a fur coat spread in advance, kissed or bowed to each other.

If the bridegroom was not to the liking of the girl, at the bridegroom she could tell her parents about it, and then refuse the wedding. For example, she could silently go out of the hut, replace her festive outfit with a weekday one, and return to the guests. This was regarded by the guests as a refusal. But, as a rule, this ceremony ended with a feast, while the bride's parents laid the table, and the groom's parents brought intoxicated drinks.

Collusion.
A few days after the matchmaking, a conspiracy (handwriting) was carried out (in the bride's house), which served as a symbolic consolidation of the decision on the wedding and the conclusion of marriage. Parents and relatives from both sides were also present. At first, negotiations were held on the wedding day, agreed on the amount of dowry and masonry, the number of guests at the wedding feast. During the conspiracy, the bride began to lament, complaining about fate and her parents, who are forcing her to say goodbye to her free girlish life and her birthplace.

The end of the negotiations was a ritual handicraft, during which the fathers of the young stood opposite each other and beat on the hands, which were wrapped in scarves or a small piece of sheepskin in advance, after which they shook hands with each other with the words: “Our son would be a common son between us and your daughter would be a common daughter and our obedient servant. " For a long time in Russia, shaking hands with each other legalized a mutually beneficial agreement, an agreement. In some Russian regions, handshaking was carried out over a table, where a loaf was placed in advance, after which it was broken in half. Bread in this case served as a seal of the contract.

After the handshake, the girl's mother fastened the hands of the young, thereby confirming her consent to the decision of the fathers. After that, everyone began to read a prayer in front of the icons with a lighted lamp. The achieved and consent was celebrated with a feast, while the young were not present.

After the conspiracy, it was impossible to refuse marriage, this was regarded as a terrible sin, the reckoning for which would last a lifetime. According to custom, the guilty party in violation of the agreement was obliged to pay all expenses for the wedding, as well as pay "compensation" for dishonoring the deceived party. After the conspiracy, the young were called the bride and groom. The young people had to correspond to the received status (to change their behavior, appearance). After the conspiracy, the bride was supposed to "twist", "be killed", lament, that is, to mourn her girlhood. From now on, she had to wear only mourning clothes, a scarf pulled over her face on her head, she could not comb her hair and braid a braid. She practically did not speak, explained by gestures, she moved around the house exclusively with the help of her friends, who were now with her constantly, and often spent the night with her. The bride was forbidden to go outside the house and yard, go to parties and festivities of youth. It was only allowed to leave the house in order to invite relatives to the wedding, and to say goodbye to neighbors, the village and the "white light". Now she was suspended from any chores. Her only occupation was preparing gifts, sewing a dowry. There were also those regions of Russia where the bride, before the wedding, had to go out and lament sadly every day for a week. According to popular belief, the more the bride cries, the easier life with her husband will be. All the women of the village sometimes gathered for such "gatherings".

The groom, after an agreement with might and main, walked with his friends in his own and neighboring villages, parting with the "youth". In addition, every day he had to go to the bride's house and present her friends with various goodies (sweets, gingerbread).

Loaf rite.
The loaf rite acted as a kind of ritual action, which was associated with baking and distributing a loaf (round bread with decorations in the form of dough figurines, artificial flowers) during the prince's table (wedding feast). The loaf was baked in the groom's house (sometimes in the bride's house, and in some localities both there and there) on the eve of the wedding or wedding night, or a couple of days before that. This rite was divided into two stages: the first - directly its preparation (the stage was called "roll the loaf"), the second - the division of the loaf on the wedding table or "wear a loaf". Throughout the entire territory of the existence of this rite, its essence was the same, although it could be played up in different ways.

The process of making a loaf symbolized the birth of a new life and ensured the fertility of the young couple. It was of a ritual nature. They began to cook the loaf at a secretly scheduled time, before sunset, before that, turning to God and the saints. The planted father and the planted mother of the groom (if they were happy in marriage), as well as young women-loafers, also happy in marriage and having healthy children, participated in the ceremony.

For the preparation of the wedding loaf, water was taken from seven wells, flour - from seven bags. All processes, starting with kneading the dough and ending with taking it out of the oven and distributing it to guests, were carried out in a deliberately theatrical way. To shape the dough, it was placed in a special large bowl with a cross, and the bowl, in turn, was placed on a bench, where there was hay covered with a tablecloth. Anyone who was present at this special ritual was strictly forbidden to touch the dough and the bowl. Before sending the molded loaf into the oven, the planted mother walked around the hut with him, sat on the stove, and then, together with the planted father, walked around the stove pillar three times. They pushed it into the oven using a special shovel, on the edges of which burning candles were attached. Before finally leaving it to bake, the loaf was pushed in and out of it three times. After placing the loaf in the oven, it was necessary to hit the ceiling beam with a shovel.

From the point of view of mythology, the oven symbolized the female womb or the mother's womb, the bread shovel - the masculine principle, and the loaf - the fruit that came out when they merged. Decorations made of dough, which the girls baked separately from the loaf, were in the form of figurines of the sun, stars, months, flowers, fruits, domestic animals, that is, signs that Russians considered the personification of peace, goodness, happiness, contentment, fertility. During the entire process of making and baking a loaf, special loaf songs were performed, telling about the stages of its creation by loafs.

Hen-party.
Bachelorette party (crying, bridal party) were ritual actions in which the bride said goodbye to girlhood. This ceremony was held in the bride's house, all her bridesmaids were called to it. The bride's farewell to girlhood, as a rule, began immediately after the conspiracy and continued until the wedding. The bachelorette party symbolized the girl's transition to the category of married women. The bride's farewell to the "white light" in many villages of European Russia and Siberia took place at dawn and in the evening outside the village, where she came with her friends. In the Pskov province, the bride and the girls, while singing sad songs, solemnly walked through the village, carrying in their hands a small Christmas tree decorated with ribbons, rags, paper flowers, or a bouquet of paper flowers.

In the villages of the Vladimir province, the bride lamented about her free life, sitting with the girls on a bench near her house. All the women of the village came running to her lamentations. In the Yaroslavl province, the bride and her friends wailed in the middle of the village, at the house of her relatives, at the hut where the gatherings took place. The final of the bachelorette party was the so-called farewell to the "maiden beauty", held on the eve of the wedding in the bride's house in the presence of parents, sisters, brothers and girlfriends. Almost all over Russia, the symbol of girlhood was the "braid - maiden beauty". The ritual of the bride's farewell to the scythe was carried out: at first, the braid was braided, the bride was sold, and then unbraided again. We braided it so that it would be as difficult as possible to unravel it later: we braided ribbons, cords, braid, put in pins and even sewed it up with thread. All this was accompanied by the sad songs of the girls and the lamentations of the bride. After braiding the braids, the bride's girlfriends or brother bargained with the groom's boyfriend, asking for a ransom for the bride. After receiving the ransom, the girls unraveled their braids while singing songs.

Loose hair showed the bride's readiness for marriage, symbolized the first step towards a married life. Friends shared ribbons from the braid among themselves. In the northern provinces of European Russia, in the Middle and Upper Volga regions, in Siberia, in Altai, as parting with the "maiden beauty", the bride, in the company of her friends, attended a bathhouse. The bridesmaids heated the bathhouse early in the morning, accompanying this process with special songs. Then they took the bride by the hand, sitting in the front corner of the hut, and led her to the bathhouse. At the head of this procession was the groom's friend, who recited spells from evil spirits, waved a whip and sprinkled grain on the bride. The process of washing in the bath was quite long, the bride was soared with a birch broom, with ribbons, they poured kvass, beer on the stove, and sprinkled it with grain. All this was accompanied by chanting and lamentation.

Molodechnik.
Molodechnik symbolized the groom's farewell to his bachelorhood and was held in the groom's house on the last pre-wedding day, or early in the morning on the wedding day. It was attended by the parents, relatives and friends of the groom. They collected refreshments for those present, sang wedding songs. After that, the groom's relatives, or he himself went to the bride with gifts. This rite was not particularly widespread; it was found only in some villages of European Russia.

Wedding train.
This tradition represents the departure of the bride and groom to the church for the wedding. Early in the morning in the groom's house on the wedding day, friends gathered, one or two friends, godparents of the groom, an early matchmaker (a close relative of the groom), who participated in the manufacture and baking of a loaf (her duties included sprinkling the train with grain), assistants to the matchmaker, uncle or best man , who accompanied the groom to the crown, boyars - friends and relatives of the groom. In different regions of Russia, the composition of the wedding train could differ. The groom's parents, according to tradition, were not present at the wedding. They were preparing for the meeting of the young and the wedding feast itself. For the bride, the residents went on a sleigh in winter, in autumn on koshevnya, posevnya, chaise. The horses were very carefully prepared for this event: they were fed oats, cleaned, and combed their tails and manes. For the wedding, they were decorated with ribbons, harness with bells, bells, and the sleigh was covered with carpets and pillows.

He headed the train of a friend, while he chose the road to the bride even, so that "the life of the young couple was even, without quarrels." On the way to the bride, the villagers met the train and in every possible way blocked the path: they locked the entrance gates, stretched the ropes. As a ransom, the friend offered wine, sweets, fruits, nuts and gingerbread. At the bride's house, the train was met by her bridesmaids, they closed the gates and sang songs about the groom and his retinue, as about homeless people who had come to pick up their girlfriend. Druzhka led the procession, waving a whip, as if clearing the road from evil spirits. Then he entered into a conversation with his friends, who, after a good ransom, let guests into the house. Then, in some villages of Russia, the groom and boyfriend began to look for the hidden bride, and in others, they ransomed her from the elder brother. All this was accompanied by mocking songs that the girls performed to the groom and the couple. The ritual action was expressed in the desire to save the bride from the inevitable symbolic death that marriage promised, according to mythological ideas.

Then the guests were invited to the table and treated. The bride and groom had to sit at the edge of the table and not touch food. It was believed that before the sacrament of the wedding, one had to morally cleanse himself by giving up "carnal" pleasures, including food. Also, the bride and groom were not supposed to eat together with married and married relatives, this was possible only after the wedding night. After the treats, the bride's father handed his daughter over to the groom with the words that he would transfer her forever to her husband's disposal.

The bride and groom went to the church in different carts: the bride was accompanied by a matchmaker, and the groom - with a thousand (the main leader). Travelers from the bride's side were connected to the wedding train: the driver who drove the horses, godparents, closest relatives. At the head was still the boyfriend, accompanied by his friends on horseback, then the groom's cart, then the bride, and after them all the other relatives. The bride's parents were also not present at the wedding. The wedding train rode to the church quickly, loudly ringing bells, thereby notifying everyone of its approach. During the trip, the bride and groom carried out peculiar magical actions: the bride, having left her native village, opened her face, looked after the retreating houses and threw a handkerchief in which “all her sorrows were collected,” the groom periodically stopped the train in order to inquire about the condition bride, if something happened to her during the dangerous journey. At the same time, my friend read a conspiracy prayer throughout the journey.

Wedding.
The wedding was a marriage ceremony in the Orthodox Church, which was combined with legal registration in the registers of birth. The ceremony was conducted in the church by a priest and included betrothal, in which the bride and groom agreed to the marriage and exchanged rings, and the wedding, that is, the laying on of wedding crowns on their heads, which symbolized the imposition of the Glory of God.

During the wedding, prayers were read for the purpose of God's blessing of the spouses. The priest gave instructions. In the Christian tradition, the wedding appeared in the form of a kind of sacrament, symbolizing the union of a man and a woman in an indestructible Divine union, which existed even after death.

The wedding ceremony connected a number of ritual and magical actions that provided protection from evil forces, a happy marriage, healthy offspring, economic well-being, and longevity. It was believed that it was at this moment that the young were more vulnerable, according to the then ideas of the villagers, the sorcerers could turn them into stone, animals, leave them without offspring in marriage. To protect against this, the wedding train did not have to stop, following to the wedding, the travelers could not look back. The ringing of bells attached to carts was considered a kind of protection against dark forces. For a talisman, pins were attached to the clothes of the bride, sometimes the groom, pins were stuck in, flaxseed or millet was poured, garlic was placed in a pocket, etc.

Some ritual activities were aimed at preventing young people from cheating. For example, it was forbidden to stand or walk between the young. It was believed that during the wedding ceremony, it was possible to ensure the health of the young, for which, at the moment the priest circled the couples around the lectern, special conspiracies were quietly pronounced.

To ensure the economic well-being of the future family, before the young people approached the church, they spread white new cloth in front of them, threw money under their feet, showered them with grain, and during the wedding, the bride hid bread in her bosom, poured salt into her shoes, fastened a piece of wool to her clothes. It was believed that objects in the hands of the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony have magical properties. For example, the wax of wedding candles and water from the blessed icon were used in the treatment of babies, the wedding shirt was used to relieve pain in a woman during childbirth. In some villages, the owner of the house wore a wedding shirt on the first day of sowing to ensure a good autumn harvest. The wedding ring was used for divination at Christmas time. After the wedding, the newlyweds in the northern provinces of European Russia and in many villages of Siberia and Altai went to their parents' house for a wedding feast. At the end of the feast, their wedding night was also held there.

And in some southern Russian villages, after the wedding, everyone returned to their home, but in the evening the groom came to the bride, and their first wedding night took place there. The wedding feast began only after it was announced that the young had become husband and wife. If a couple lived without a wedding, their husband and wife were not recognized, and their children were considered illegitimate. Meanwhile, according to popular beliefs, a single wedding was not enough to recognize a marriage. It was necessary to carry out the established ritual actions, according to tradition.

Princely table.
Princely table (wedding or red table) - a wedding feast, which was held after the wedding in the house of the groom's parents. Traditionally, tables were placed along the floorboards and benches with the letter "G" and only in some areas - across the floorboards. According to tradition, guests were seated in a certain order, spectators were also accommodated - "gazers", food and drinks were served, and songs were sung. The bride and groom were called nothing other than "young prince" and "young princess", they sat in the front corner of the hut. The guests were seated in the order of kinship: the closer the relatives, the closer they were to the groom or the bride. Boys, neighbors, girls from the village were usually invited to the wedding feast, but they did not sit at the table, they acted as spectators. The wedding tables were covered with white tablecloths. First, bread and pies were laid out on the tables (in the middle). A slice of rye bread was laid along the edge of the table, in accordance with each guest's seat, and an oblong cake was placed on top. In front of the newlyweds, two loaves of round bread were placed, laid on top of each other and covered with a handkerchief. As soon as guests took their seats, drinks and food were served. Dishes alternated with drinks, while the number of dishes had to be even (a symbol of happiness and good luck).

The ceremony of opening the "young princess" will serve as the beginning of the wedding feast. After the wedding, the accomplished wife entered the house, while her face was covered with a handkerchief. Usually, the groom's father held in his hands a piece of bread or a pie and lifted the bride's handkerchief with them, after which he took it in his hands and circled it three times around the heads of the newlyweds to the exclamations of those present. This ceremony acted as an acquaintance of the groom's relatives with a new family member. The bride and groom during the wedding feast did not eat or drink anything, it was forbidden. As a sign of the prohibition, the bowl in front of them was empty, and the spoons were tied with a red ribbon and placed with their handles towards the center of the table, and the dishes for drinks were turned upside down.

The end of the wedding table was the departure of the young to a special room, where they were served dinner. In some localities, the young woman was “circled” after supper or a woman’s headdress was put on her. The second part of the wedding feast was the alpine table, on which were the "young prince" and "young princess" in a woman's headdress and smart clothes. At that moment, the parents and relatives of the newlywed came and sat at the same table with the relatives and parents of the groom. The upper table was expressed in the gift of the bride to the groom's relatives, from close ones to the most distant ones. The gift was put on a special dish, the young woman approached her husband's relative and made a deep bow. Taking a gift, he put a gift on the dish: gingerbread, sweets, money. It was during the high table that the "young princess" first called her father-in-law father, and mother-in-law - mother. After that, the young people took part in a common meal. However, certain dishes were served to them: porridge, eggs, honey, butter, bread, pies, milk. At the same time, the young drank milk from one glass, ate with one spoon and from one cup, ate bread from one piece. This confirmed the unity of the young, their inextricable bond. At the end of the mountain table, the ritual of dividing the loaf was carried out.

The end of the prince's table was the departure of the young to the wedding night, accompanied by the singing of the guests. Feasts were also held on the second and third days, but in a slightly different form. Their essence consisted in a symbolic acquaintance of the husband's relatives with a new family member and the distribution of gifts.

The wedding night.
Wedding night (basement) - the physical and legal consolidation of the marriage took place in the groom's parental home. In the southern Russian provinces, after the wedding, the newlyweds each returned to their home, she was spent in the house of the bride's parents until the main wedding feast. Usually, the bed for the newlyweds was made in a cold room (cage, closet, sennik, bathhouse, less often a stable or sheepfold), while a bed from the bride's dowry was used. With the help of various devices, a high marriage bed was built: sacks of flour were placed on the boards, then sheaves of rye, a couple of hay mattresses, less often a feather bed and many pillows. All this was covered with a white embroidered sheet to the floor and a beautiful blanket.

The bed was made by the bride and groom, as well as the groom's mother or sister. After that, a poker, a few logs, a frying pan were placed under the bed, and then they went around the bed with a branch of mountain ash or juniper. The branch was then stuck into the wall. They believed that all this would protect the newlyweds from evil forces, and bags of flour and rye sheaves would ensure their well-being. The logs were a symbol of future children: the more there are on the marriage bed, the more children there will be in the family.

The newlyweds were seen off by their friend, matchmakers, less often all those present at the feast to laughter, noise, jokes, erotic instructions, songs. The first, according to tradition, a friend entered the room with the marriage bed and beat him with a whip on the bed a couple of times in order to scare away evil spirits. In some places in Russia, the custom was also widespread, according to which a friend would pay a ransom to the bed-sisters (those who made the bed). The door of the room was locked from the outside and placed outside the cell or, in our opinion, a guard who guarded the newlyweds from evil spirits and prancing guests. Left alone, the newlyweds, before going to bed, were supposed to eat bread and chicken in order to ensure a concordant marriage life, wealth, healthy offspring. The newlywed had to demonstrate humility and humility by removing her husband's boots. This ancient rite is mentioned in the Tale of Bygone Years. The newlywed, on the other hand, demonstrated his position as the owner of the family, forcing the bride to ask him for permission to go to bed with him. During the wedding night, a friend visited the young couple several times and asked about whether sexual intercourse had taken place. According to the custom, which was widespread in almost all localities of Russia, if everything ended well, the friend informed the guests about it, the young people were then either taken out to the guests or not disturbed until morning. After such news, the guests sang erotic ditties, which talked about what happened between the young.

In the morning, those who accompanied the young to bed came to wake them up, in order to test the girl's premarital chastity. They could wake up in different ways: knocking at the door, shouting, ringing bells, hitting pots on the threshold, pulling the blanket, pouring water over them were used. The notification of the parents, guests, and the whole village about the bride's chastity or lack thereof, was carried out by means of ritual and game actions. For example, in the villages of the Perm province, if the newlywed was a virgin, towels and tablecloths with red embroidery were hung on the house of the newlyweds, and their friend was tied to the arches of horses on the way to the parents of the newlywed. In the Vladimir province, a wedding sheet hung in the front corner of the hut spoke of the bride's honesty. In some villages, guests, led by a matchmaker and a friend, rode around the village with shouts, ringing and noise and waving their shirt to the newlywed.

If it turned out that the young woman had lost her virginity before marriage, then her parents were put on a neck collar, her father was served beer in a glass full of holes. The matchmaker was also humiliated. The obligatory innocence of the bride, and in some villages the groom before marriage, proceeded from the idea of ​​the peasants that the transformation of a girl into a woman, and a young man into a man could only occur during certain rituals and only if observed in a certain sequence. Violation of order was considered a violation of the course of life, an encroachment on its foundations.

It was also believed that a girl who lost her innocence before marriage would remain barren, would become a widow early or leave her husband as a widower, and the family would be mired in hunger and poverty.

Roundabout young.
Rounding up the young was also a wedding ceremony, in which the bride changed the girl's hairstyle and headdress for women. The ritual was carried out immediately after the wedding on the church porch or in the gatehouse of the church, in the groom's house in front of the prince's table, in the middle of the wedding feast, after the wedding night. This ceremony was attended by the groom, his parents, boyfriends and matchmakers. All this was accompanied by singing. Instead of one braid, two were braided and laid around the head, after which they were covered with a kokoshnik.

In the Russian villages of Altai, the rounding up was carried out after the arrival from the crown. The bride was seated in a corner, covered with kerchiefs on each side, two braids were woven, laid around her head, and a box and a kerchief were put on. Then the young woman was shown to the groom and asked both of them to look in the same mirror in order to "live together." The songs that svashki sang when changing hairstyles and headgear sounded differently in different areas, but the essence was the same: the girl's approval in a new status.

Bread.
Breads (bends, waste) completes the sequence of wedding ceremonies. This is a feast that was arranged for the young in the house of the parents of the young woman. Her parents prepared food in advance for their arrival. The mother-in-law treated her son-in-law to pancakes or scrambled eggs, while he showed his attitude towards her. If he bit off a pancake or ate scrambled eggs from the edge, it means that her daughter kept her virginity before marriage, and he is grateful for that, but if the son-in-law bit off a pancake or ate scrambled eggs from the middle, then the young one turned out to be "dishonest", that is, she did not keep chastity before marriage. Then he complained to her for the poor upbringing of his daughter. Then the young went home. With a successful outcome, the la feast in the parental home of the young woman continued.

Rida Khasanova August 30, 2018, 19:37

It is believed that the observance of some wedding accepts is given warmth and happiness in family relationships... The age-old traditions are not subject to doubt and discussion, since they are passed on from parents to children. Often, it is the closest relatives who are responsible for the customs, without which the wedding event is incomplete. Undoubtedly, many newlyweds have to find a compromise.

Photo of the wedding ceremony

Modern wedding traditions

Traditional wedding ceremony in Russia starts with a meeting... She usually goes with. A pood of salt for a wedding for a young couple is usually prepared by the groom's mother. Since the times of the USSR, champagne has been added to bread, although in some regions vodka is poured in the old fashioned way.

These traditions are very subjective depending on the values ​​of the family of the bride and groom.

Wedding rings were laid on a scarf, which was raised above the crown of the bride and groom's head. Such a wedding ceremony in Russian traditions meant the fulfillment of a love covenant in heaven, since the head of a person was associated with the heavenly world.

The newlyweds at the time of the wedding were surrounded by special awe... According to the ideas of our ancestors, the creation of a family was the creation of a new world, where not two people unite, but the sun (groom) and earth (bride).

Slavic wedding customs

Another wedding Slavic ritual in Russia - ceremony around the stove... When a young man brought his wife to his home, the first thing she did was bow and pray to the hearth, since it was considered the heart of the dwelling.

Fellow villagers danced around the hut newlyweds throughout the wedding night. So people gave blessings to a new family. Ancient superstitions and signs of happiness were clearly expressed in rich clothes. Red or gold belts at the wedding were a talisman. Later, after the holiday, if the husband was away, the wife would gird herself with his wedding belt so as not to get sick.

Like the belt, the ring had the shape of a circle and signified the absence of a beginning and an end. Both were considered a symbol of fidelity, a girdle of evil, instinct or chaos.

Any Slavic amulets, including wedding ones, symbolized protection from evil.

In our time, some fairly old customs are still used by newlyweds. For example, . This tradition has been passed down from generation to generation. Rushnik was necessarily inherited as a dowry or was sewn by the bride independently and was used in ancient rituals of the ancient Slavs, as it allegedly possessed healing powers.

In some provinces from the hut, the groom rolled the woven track to the bride's hut. When a carriage approached her, she only stepped on it. This happened because their houses had the images of two universes, and everything else - an uncreated world.

Old Church Slavonic wedding

Sometimes bonfires were made near the threshold. The groom with his friends jumped over the fire before going to the bride, cleansing himself of everything so that the wedding will take place in innocence. Some of the customs and traditions of Russian weddings are still used in modern themed celebrations.

Wedding without tradition - interesting and unusual wedding ideas

The most popular ceremony is: the bride and groom pour black and white sand from the vessels into one container, thereby promising each other that from now on they will be one and never be separated. The drawing, which is obtained by mixing sand of different colors, always turns out to be individual, like the fate of people.

Sand ceremony at a wedding

The next touching ceremony begins with the fact that the newlyweds write before the wedding two letters to each other... In them, young people guess the first 10 years of married life. You can specify the following provisions:

• what common goals they are pursuing;
• how they feel on the night before the wedding;
• how they look forward to this day;
• who will drink the most at the holiday;
• who will dance the most incendiary dance;
• who will say the longest toast;
• who will give the largest bouquet;
• what they swear to each other.

Moreover, messages can be supplemented:

• attach additional letters to future children;
• add pictures;
• express feelings in verse.

The longer the letter gets, the more interesting it will be to read on your 10th wedding anniversary. Next, you need to purchase your favorite drink that will not deteriorate over such a period. It is put in the box along with the letters. The lid joint is sealed with a wax candle and, accordingly, a seal.

Wine ceremony

If it happens that the newlyweds in a few years will not be able to cope with any life situation, this box can be opened ahead of schedule. Taking out your favorite drink and remembering your feelings, build relationships. This idea is called the boxing ceremony and is even recommended by psychologists.

Hay or wood shavings, as well as ribbons, will make the box look sleeker. You can close it with a lock or nails.

A beautiful wedding wine ceremony is best done during registration. This will make the marriage more complete. A time capsule can become a family heirloom reminiscent of this day and a good piece of furniture.

How to make wedding ceremonies the most relevant

When compiling a guest list, newlyweds often know which of them will come with a couple, and who is alone. Passing the wedding baton is a favorite story. For a successful competition, you can count single girlfriends and friends, and then play their numbers at the auction.

In addition to the bride's attribute, such as a garter, a piece of tie is also thrown to the guests to act as an anti-garter. The one who catches her, according to tradition, will not have time to get married in a year. Such a ceremony will be especially in demand among single men with a good sense of humor.

From first dance of young you should not give up even if you have no skills, because you can get help from a professional. A choreographer or director will add professional ones to amateur movements. The team or bright props give a special entourage to the room.

The first wedding dance of the young

Another option is to perform a song in a duet. The first wedding live video is not prohibited to be performed with a soundtrack. Guests are unlikely to expect this, so it is joyful to be surprised in any case.

What are the wedding customs for the parents of the bride and groom?

As mentioned, parents can put on a slingshot at a wedding, but there are a number of other unifying ceremonies. The first thing the bride's parents should do is give a blessing to marriage... For this, the father leads the bride to the groom, who is standing at the altar, and dances with her at the banquet.

Parents at the wedding

Classic wedding traditions for the groom's parents include dancing with his mother and godmother. It is a good idea to style these dances in one or more of the following ways:

• slideshow of children's photos;
• sparklers;
• candles;
• confetti.

The ceremony of twinning families is usually called family hearth ceremony although all guests can participate

For this, candles are distributed to all married and married people so that everyone can pass on a piece of their family hearth and warmth to the newlyweds. The newlyweds blow out the lights and make wishes in honor of the family's first birthday.

The last candles are given by the parents, they kind of give. Since olden times, only the mother of the bride took part in the ceremony. She gave her daughter a coal from her oven so that she could cook dinner for the first time in her new home. In modern times, the groom's mother also joins this.

Ignition of the family hearth

Parents' participation in their son's wedding mainly takes place in the banquet part of the event. Besides the usual toasts with stories from life they can sing, thus fitting into the framework of a European wedding.

In this way, parents and guests express sadness about the departure of a bachelor. According to Russian traditions, those invited should meet the bride in the house of the bride or groom, not a restaurant. , each family decides in its own way. You can listen to, or you can just from the bottom of your heart wish the young a good journey in a new family life.

Parents accompany the bride and groom

Asking the question of who should pay for the wedding according to tradition, it is necessary to refer to the Slavic rule about dowry. Since the parents agreed on the marriage themselves, they paid for the festivities. A fee was charged from the groom's parents depending on the value of the bride's property. Today, in this matter, everything is individual.

Traditions for the second and third wedding day

The second wedding day is usually spent in nature, in a cafe or sauna in the afternoon. Rest periods are usually 6 hours, but this is not the limit. The scenario for this day is being thought out in advance. Small styling and thematic actions decorate the continuation of the celebration best.

Traditionally, the husband and wife prepare pancakes at the wedding on the second day in order to sell them. It is believed that whoever eats more will be lucky the whole year. You can replace them with a multi-tiered ready-made cake.

A wedding cake

If young people ride around the city on this day, the tradition of blocking the road at a wedding obliges them to give delicious gifts. If you give a treat to those who could, then the couple will be able to buy off bad luck in this way. On the third day, the newlyweds open gifts, look at the photos and send postcards to the guests. Some go to the local bridge and hang them as a symbol of eternal love.

Wedding traditions of the world

Any marriage implies a prenuptial agreement in which the rights and obligations of the newlyweds can be negotiated

Eastern weddings begin with the parents' testimony in the mosque to give the ceremony sacredness. In Arab countries, without this paper, young people are not even settled in the same room together.

After the business part, two people who create a family have long been obliged to give their consent aloud three times. In addition, if the newlyweds are found to have insincere intentions about the wedding, their marriage is considered void.

Therefore, the strongest bonds tend to be in the east. But in the Russian Federation, the negotiated marriage contract has no legal force until it is registered with the registry office. Otherwise, a Muslim wedding in Russia is no different from a traditional Islamic one.

There are a lot of wedding traditions. There are even more variations. They make the wedding more solemn. But at the same time, a greater number of traditions make it harder to perceive, because in fact, this way there is less time for communication, games and dances.

Another interesting tradition is the joining of young families. A video of the marriage ceremony at a wedding can be viewed here:

Old Russian weddings, of course, differed from modern ones, they had a special meaning. The union of two people into a family was accompanied by various rituals that were designed to make family life happy. Russian wedding traditions were strictly observed. Each stage of the celebration included a number of events that followed their own scenario.

The bride is the first step to marriage

Preparations for future marriage always began with Smotrin. The parents chose the bride or groom, so they tried to find the most suitable match for their child. Here, physical data was taken into account most of all. It is important that future spouses have good health, which determines the ability to feed the family and worthily preserve their family hearth. The girl had to be hardworking and strong in spirit. Little attention was paid to welfare. It was believed that the young would make their own wealth.

The parents of the newlyweds found a suitable match. And if the girl and the guy approved of this choice, then preparations began for the next action. But, of course, the girl's opinion was rarely taken into account, she was often given in marriage without consent. In small villages, where all people knew each other, the bride could not be held.

Before starting the matchmaking process, a family council was arranged in the house, where all members of the family expressed their pros and cons. The bride and groom did not participate in this council, they were notified after that. Quite often, the young were informed about the upcoming wedding only the day before, and they might not have seen each other before at all.

Matchmaking is the rapprochement of future relatives

Representatives of two family members had to get to know each other, since family ties were of great importance. The groom's parents went to the bride's house. People who were talkative and wealthy were chosen as representatives in order to present their family in a favorable light. Arriving at the house, the matchmakers baptized themselves on icons and asked permission to sit on a chair.

The bride's parents laid the table with all sorts of treats and invited matchmakers to the table as required by Russian wedding traditions and customs. It was believed that the matchmakers should be well fed, as this would bring good luck to the house, even if the groom did not really like it. And only at the end of the dinner did they say that “the goods were not ripe for them yet” and the bride was not ready for the future wedding. They could also ask to wait if they did not know the groom at all. Parents said that giving a bride in marriage was not as quick as baking a pie. After all, raising a child is a long process and it is quite difficult to get married right away.

The matchmaking was to take place by candlelight, after dusk, so that all family members were at home. It was possible to woo only on certain days - Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, since they were considered the easiest. The bride had to go out to the matchmakers and present them with some kind of treat, and the groom had to bring a ring. During the matchmaking, the future life of the newlyweds was not discussed, for this there was another rite.

Collusion - there is no turning back

The parents of the bride and groom gathered again to discuss all the material and household issues of the future celebration and the life of the young. They had to discuss everything. And if everything ended positively, then the parents feasted and drank a glass of vodka in honor of a successful conspiracy.

During the conspiracy, they also talked about the bride's dowry; in wealthy families, this agreement was sealed with a signature on paper. After all the issues were discussed, the fathers beat each other on the hands. This rite was called mating. Then the bride and groom joined hands - thus, showing that an alliance was concluded between them. After the conspiracy, it was impossible to refuse the upcoming wedding under any pretext. Refusal meant a mortal sin and the one who refused had to pay compensation to the other party. After breaking the collusion, it was necessary to wear mourning clothes.

After this ceremony, the bride was not supposed to do household work until the wedding itself. She had to walk around the village and lament. It was believed that the more she lamented, the happier her family life would be. The groom, on the other hand, before the wedding had to have fun walking with friends in order to say goodbye to his brave life. Every evening he was supposed to give his future wife and her friends some kind of treat.

Bachelorette and bachelor parties

The bride's bachelorette party lasted until the wedding day. She and her friends sang sad songs somewhere on a bench near the house. Girlfriends braided her braid, weaving flowers into it, decorated her head with wreaths. Then the braid unraveled. The braid was considered a symbol of girlhood, and when she unraveled, it meant that the bride was ready to become a wife. Before the wedding, the bride and her friends went to the bathhouse to say goodbye to her old life. But first, she needed to wear a wreath of flowers, which her friends woven for her.

In the bathhouse, her friends helped the bride to wash, she had to soar for a long time with a birch broom. It was believed that the bridesmaid who steamed with this broom after the bride would also soon get married. Before the wedding, the groom had to gather a feast in his house, where relatives and friends came.

Blessing is the Path to Happiness in Marriage

Wedding traditions in Russia have always included the blessing of their parents; without it, young people could not get married. They had to get their parents' consent for the marriage. The blessing ceremony was held in the church, the bride's parents held bread, salt with a towel in their hands. It was believed that without this, young people could not be happy in marriage.

For blessing, special bread with patterns was baked. Great importance was attached to its preparation. Such bread could only be prepared by a happily married, fertile woman to convey her happy marriage experience. Before kneading the dough, she washed, put on a clean dress and prayerfully got down to business.

Her husband put the bread in the oven, also with prayer. The bride and groom were always greeted with such a loaf, they had to bite off first, and then the bread was handed out to the guests in pieces. The couple were greeted with words of congratulations, which the most respected person in the family was supposed to say.

Decorating the newlyweds

The bride always observed Russian wedding ceremonies, which required her to get up early in the morning and put on a mourning dress. This meant that her girlhood was over. The girlfriends were supposed to braid her braid one last time. Then the bride changed into festive clothes. The bride's dress of those times consisted of a sundress and a shirt, which could be white, but most often red. The sundress on this occasion was embroidered with gold threads and decorated with furs and jewelry. Wedding dresses were often inherited from mother to daughter. They were carefully kept all their life. Petticoats were worn under a sundress to add splendor to the outfit.

A wreath was put on the head and the hair was left loose, while they could be adorned with jewelry. After the wedding, the hair was braided and the braids were wrapped around the head. After that, the woman had to put on the kokoshnik or the bride's headscarf. The shirt of the bride and groom must have had long arms so that they did not touch each other before the wedding. The groom wore a hat where the flower was attached. Clothes were belted with a towel. The bride began to wear a white dress with a veil only in the 19th century.

Wedding train or tests for the groom

Before the start of the celebration, Russian wedding customs demanded that the groom ransom the bride. This is an ancient rite that was followed unswervingly. The groom and several of his friends went to the bride's house. On the way to his future wife, he was blocked in every possible way. The groom and his friends had to jump over the bridge, walk through the fire and show their courage.

His bridesmaids would not let him into the house, asking him for money or demanding to guess a riddle. The young man also had to pay off his girlfriends with sweets, gingerbread, money. There was a belief that the more obstacles the groom will have on the way to the bride's house, the stronger their union will be. When the groom nevertheless broke through to his beloved, he put a ring on her and kissed her. They were showered with grain and hops. It was believed that this way the marriage would be happy. The table was laid for friends, but the bride and groom did not eat, since before the wedding it was necessary to cleanse themselves of everything earthly.

Wedding as an important stage in marriage

After the trial of the groom, the newlyweds had to go to church to get married. They rode in different carts. The carts were decorated with bells and bells to announce that they were on their way to church for a wedding. The horses had to be well cleaned, and the sleds had to be covered with soft pillows and carpets.

The wedding in those days had legal force, so the ceremony was recorded in the priest's book. The ceremony was accompanied by the reading of prayers. Crowns were to be held over the bride and groom throughout the ceremony. The priest gave instructions to the young about their future married life. Parents were usually not present at the wedding; they had to stay at home to prepare holiday dishes and set the tables.

The bride and groom took witnesses with them, who were required to be the spiritual mentors of their marriage. During the ceremony, they helped the priest, served various things and held crowns on the heads of the young couple.

Princely table of newlyweds

And after the wedding ceremony, the wedding train went to the wedding feast - the princely table, which was held in the house of the groom's parents. The bride and groom were seated in the front corner of the house, next to them - the next of kin. The tables were arranged in the shape of the letter "L". The groom was called a young prince, and the bride was a young princess.

Any acquaintances of the bride and groom could attend the wedding feast. A variety of foods and drinks were served, it was impossible to serve an odd number of dishes for a wedding feast. The tables were covered with white tablecloths. The bride and groom again should not have eaten anything from what is on the festive table. They were served dinner at the end of the wedding feast in a special room.

After they had eaten there, the second part, called "the table of the mountains", began. At this time, it was customary to give gifts. Everyone gave them something - it could be gingerbread or money. After the end of the feast, the young went off to the cheerful songs of the guests to spend their wedding night.

The wedding night

The newlyweds spent their first night in the groom's house. They made a bed for them in a cold room - for example, a closet, and sometimes even in a sheepfold. The bride had to bring from her dowry a beautiful, ironed sheet and blanket. On the place where the young people will sleep, they put a feather bed.

The process of making the marriage bed of love was a special ceremony. It was necessary to put a poker, sacks of flour and logs under it. Sacks of flour meant wealth, and logs meant future children. It is important that there is a branch of mountain ash or juniper in the room, which is stuck into the wall in order to protect the young from unclean spirits.

Outside, the young were guarded by the groom's friends so that they would not be disturbed by drunken guests. The bride had to take off the boots of the groom, which showed her humility, and the groom asked if it was possible to go to bed with her.

In the morning, guests knocked on the young people to check whether the bride was innocent. And if not, then a heavy collar was put on the parents' necks. In those ancient times, it was believed that a girl could lose her virginity only after performing the rituals and becoming a wife.

Bread - the final stage of rituals

On the second day of the wedding, the completion of the rituals took place. At the bride's house, a feast was again held. The mother-in-law for the son-in-law had to cook pancakes, scrambled eggs and treat him. If the son-in-law ate what she prepared, then the bride was innocent, and if she refused, then no. Thus, he showed the parent's claim that they did not look after their daughter.

Modern weddings differ significantly from the old ones, but many couples would like to observe some Russian wedding traditions. Indeed, many of them harbor the wisdom of our ancestors and make the wedding celebration beautiful and sincere.

There are always couples who want to have a wedding according to the traditions and customs of the Russian people. Someone prefers the most spectacular, well-known rituals, while someone digs deeper and follows the established rules with an understanding of each ritual. The traditional wedding of the Russian people is sincere, amazing, interesting, dear. This unique event remains in the memory of the guests, and the newlyweds receive an unforgettable parting word for a successful marriage.

What wedding ceremonies are typical for the Russian people?

The Russian wedding has long been a complex of customs, rituals and traditions, performed according to a strict sequence according to a certain scenario. The most important rituals in Russia were conspiracy, matchmaking, wedding, bachelorette party, wedding feast and wedding night. Each action had an important semantic load. For example, a wedding is a legal, religious registration of a marriage, and a wedding night is a physical seal of it. The wedding feast, according to the traditions and customs of the Russian people, symbolized the public approval of marriage.

Matchmaking

Taking into account the customs and traditions of the Russian people, matchmaking was a negotiation between families interested in marriage. This is an obligatory, basic ritual that preceded the wedding. In Russia, it was customary to get married early, because the parents were engaged in choosing a bride for their son. The newlyweds themselves might not have known about the upcoming wedding. Before the matchmaking, a family council met, which was attended by the closest relatives.

According to the customs and traditions of the Russian people, when choosing a bride, the financial situation was not taken into account, since it was believed that in a marriage the couple would get everything on their own. Matchmakers were chosen with special care, because the outcome of the ceremony depended on the ability to conduct a conversation, to win over people, to present the groom's parents in a favorable light. The matchmakers, according to the customs of the Russian people, were the boy's godparents, close relatives, or a person who was respected.

The matchmaking itself took place in compliance with many signs on which the future life of the newlyweds depended. The girls came to woo the parents. Families of young people established contacts with each other, since family ties at that time had a serious weight. For matchmaking, the so-called light days were chosen: Thursday, Tuesday, Saturday, night or evening with a burning candle. After a successful completion, they put a bottle of alcohol on the table, and the matchmakers drank from the glasses in agreement.

Abundance rain

This beautiful wedding custom, used by the Russian people, was intended to give the newlyweds material prosperity. In the modern age, rice is used for a rain of abundance, and earlier they took rye, oats, and hops. Young people poured it on their heads, threw it under their feet, so that throughout their life together they would have a lot of money for a decent life. Rose petals are also used - a sign of love, beauty.

Blessing of the young with a loaf

Another wedding tradition of the Russian people is the blessing of the young with a loaf, which bestowed happiness on the future family. The pastries were prepared especially for the ceremony and decorated with various patterns. Among the latter, the most important was a twig of viburnum, personifying love. Baking the loaf gave the wedding celebration a special meaning. To prepare it correctly, many rules and rituals had to be taken into account.

The Russian people have a custom, according to which, the dough for a wedding loaf was kneaded by one married woman who has many children and is happily married. So she shared her happiness with the future couple. Before cooking, the woman had to wash her hands, wash herself, put on a cross, a scarf on her head. While kneading the dough, she prayed. A married man also put the wedding cake in the oven with the recitation of prayers. The more baked goods were, the richer and happier life it promised to the spouses.

According to the wedding traditions of the Russian people, in order to festively, beautifully meet the bride and groom, the most respected or eldest person in the family made a speech, and the parents of the young man carried a loaf on a towel embroidered with patterns, congratulating the newlyweds. The couple took a loaf and bit it off: whose piece turned out to be larger, that one was considered the head of the future family. Then the child cut up the pastries and served them to the guests.

Bride kidnapping and ransom

In Russia, the pre-wedding ransom of the bride took place in several stages. At first, fellow villagers blocked the way for the groom on the way to his beloved. The second part of the ransom took place near the house of the future wife. The young guy still had to find a bride. According to the traditions of the Russian people, the ransom was originally a performance where the groom and friends played the role of strangers who make their way to the other world for their beloved. The horse was considered a wonderful helper for the young guy, delivering him to the bride's house and taking out the couple.

The Russian people have a custom, according to which the groom's squad had to pass tests, fulfill the various desires of those who carried out the ransom: cross flimsy bridges, jump over fire to show strength and dexterity. Girlfriends could make strange demands, ask for money, make riddles. During the ransom, the main goal was to request the maximum price, the confrontation between the two sides. The stronger the struggle, the stronger the union of two hearts will be. After that, the groom could put the ring on the young man's finger, give a kiss.

Wedding traditions associated with the decoration of the bride

The custom of dressing a bride in a white wedding dress in Russia appeared only in the 19th century, and came into use in the middle of the next century. Until that time, according to Russian traditions, brides wore an old folk costume. The difference between the noble and peasant wedding attire was immediately apparent. The bride from the nobility wore a dress with precious ornaments, made of expensive fabrics.

Dress and veil

Until the 19th century, a wedding suit was widespread in Russia, shimmering with all shades of red. The young lady went to the wedding in modest, sad clothes, as this symbolized parting with a girl's life. In some regions, girls walked down the aisle in black clothes and a veil of the same color. After that, the bride changed into a red wedding dress, which symbolized the beginning of a new life, joy.

The wedding dress, according to the traditions of the Russian people, consisted of a set of clothes. The wedding sundress was a work of art, since it demonstrated the mastery of the hostess's needlework, the material security of the family. Wedding garments could be passed down from one generation to the next. Sundresses were embroidered with gold threads, decorated with braid, beads, silver, gold embroidery. A brocade wedding dress was sewn, wrapped in pearls and expensive furs.

According to the customs of the Russian people, a wedding shirt was considered part of the wedding dress. Sleeves in it could be tapered, lush, long, with slits. They performed a protective function. It was believed that young people should not touch each other with their bare hands during marriage. Under the wedding sundress was hidden a huge number of petticoats, making the figure lush, acting as underwear.

A wreath woven of wildflowers, symbolizing youth, was considered a head ornament. Later, wedding dresses appeared, interpreting it - hoops, ribbons. The bride and groom's head was decorated with various jewelry. The girl's hair was braided or left loose. According to the custom of the Russian people, a veil or veil served the bride not only as decoration, but also as protection from evil spirits and evil spirits. After the wedding, two braids were braided, which were wrapped around the head of the young man. A kokoshnik was worn on top.

Bridal bouquet and garter

During modern weddings, the bride appears with a bouquet, and then tosses it to a crowd of single ladies. This tradition, like the garter, came to us from the West. Throwing a bouquet symbolizes the transfer of the bride's status to a friend. That ceremony is used by the bride to say goodbye to girlhood. The roots of the tradition go back to England (18th century). Slavic brides, according to the traditions and customs of the Russian people, adorned their heads with a flower wreath, which they later allowed their friends to try on.

Video: Russian wedding in the folk style

A wedding in Russia is not only a general celebration with dancing, drinking, joy, a holiday for everyone, but also a carefully thought-out procedure prescribed by the church, paganism and customs of the Russian people. To organize a real celebration according to all traditions in modern times, you will have to do a lot of work, but it will turn into a luxurious, cheerful holiday for guests and newlyweds. The video below will help.