How to deal with a naughty child. Naughty child and you do not know what to do? We will teach you how to cope with the problem of whims at any age

The appearance of a baby in the family is always a great happiness. When, after nine months of waiting, a baby finally appears in the family, he immediately becomes the center of everyone's attention. Parents watch with trepidation how he grows by the hour, how he learns new things every day and are glad that they have such a miracle.

But gradually, as they grow older, parents begin to notice that the child begins to act up, his behavior changes, and this begins to worry parents. After all, they are used to seeing a calm and obedient child.

However, children's whims are common by the end of the 1st year of a baby's life. And today we will consider the whims of children, we will understand the reasons for this behavior and try to understand how to deal with it.

The whims of babies up to a year

In order to delve into the essence of the matter, it is necessary to understand the psychological characteristics of babies before the first year of life. And here it is necessary to start from the very beginning, so that the whole picture is clear.

1. The neonatal crisis is one of the most important stages in the life of a child, this crisis is manifested from the day of birth to 2 months. This crisis is the norm, and its main symptom is the loss of infant weight.
2. Infancy is the second important stage in the life of a baby, which lasts from 2 months to 1 year. This is the period when the baby communicates through his emotions. And during this stage, parents should spend a lot of time and devote to communicating with the baby. Despite the fact that this stage itself is divided into different stages, the main need of the baby here remains communication and communication with parents. When a baby cries a lot, makes sounds all the time - this is a sure sign that he wants to communicate. This crisis passes with the advent of speech in a child.

These are the 2 main crises that occur in a child under 1 year of age. Now let's see if it is necessary to worry and give seriousness to children's whims that appeared before 1 year.

We reveal the concept or what is a whim?

Today, when speaking a whim, we understand all kinds of whims and stubbornness of a child, which is accompanied by screams, crying, and the like.

Until the first year of life in a baby, the appearance of whims is directly related to his discomfort or to his lack of basic needs.

That is, when parents "complain" about their child, who is not even a year old, then we are talking simply about a misinterpretation of the baby's discomfort. After all, the baby simply has no other way to communicate or convey to relatives that he needs something. Think for yourself, because the baby has no vocabulary, gestures are almost not developed, and only by crying can he be able to attract attention to himself and communicate with others.

So, a crying baby can have several reasons:

• The kid is just hungry, it's time to feed him;
• Something hurts or bothers him. Most often it is colic or gases;
• It's time to change diapers;
• The child is cold.

No matter how difficult it is at first glance to recognize the crying of the baby, nevertheless, after a few days, the mother immediately begins to understand the reason for her child's crying.

If you are convinced that the baby is full, the diapers are clean and he has no gases, and meanwhile he continues to cry, then he probably has some kind of illness. Therefore, it is necessary to consult a pediatrician.

And starting from 3 months, the baby's gums begin to swell, teeth are cut. And all this is accompanied by crying, restlessness day and night. So, if you see that the baby is trying to pull everything that falls into the hands into his mouth and he has profuse salivation, then you can be sure that his teeth are bothering him. And even the fact that the teeth themselves will appear in 2 months, anyway, in most cases, “whims” are connected precisely with this.

No matter how strange it may sound, nevertheless, for children, especially for babies under 1 year old, strict adherence to the daily routine is the most important. The regimen itself concerns both feeding and his sleep, walks, various games and activities.

If a child has a routine, but for some reason this schedule is violated, then this can cause an acute reaction in the baby. This explains the fact when, after some kind of festive event, in which the child was very good and fun, suddenly at the end he begins to whims, cry, worry and irritation. The fact is that babies are very difficult to tolerate nervous strain at the age of 10-18 months. And with the help of tears, they just try to relieve stress. After all, the whole festive atmosphere: noise, new, unfamiliar faces, bright lights, loud sounds and the like are a source of stress for the baby. What to do in such a situation? Do not scold the child for anything. In this state, he needs your attention, care and love.

Rock him in your arms, hug and press him to you, you can carry out such procedures that he likes, bathe the baby (after all, warm water in itself can calm the nervous system), give him a massage, etc. Thus, your child can easily calm down.

The most important thing is to understand that in no case should you scold a child, fall into hysteria and start yelling at him. After all, when your baby cries, he just needs your love and understanding.

Children's tantrums

Such unpleasant phenomena as a hysteria in a baby can be observed in cases where parents choose an authoritarian parenting style and often put prohibitions in front of the child. However, parents should understand that the baby has a natural interest. Indeed, during the year he was “locked up” in his arena or wheelchair. Every day he saw the same thing, and now he can crawl and study more and more things. Every day he expands his horizons, for him everything is new and interesting. And although many things around him can be life-threatening, the baby himself does not know and does not understand this. And since he does not know what danger is, he not only looks, but also wants to touch this or that object, to feel what taste he has and the like. And then, with horror and screams, the parents pounce on the child and roughly take the object from his hands. Such a reaction of the parents is not only incomprehensible to the baby, but also causes a response in the form of whims and hysteria. After all, he has no other tool than screaming and crying to express his discontent and indignation.

Such a reaction, or as parents often mistakenly call it "hysteria", is nothing more than a call to allow him to satisfy his natural need: to know the world around him. When the baby has already seen that there are so many new things around him, it is unthinkable to calm him down with old toys or by returning to the playpen.

Of course, the safety of the child is the most important thing, and therefore, as the baby grows up, you need to think about how to satisfy the natural need of your baby to know the world in a safe way. To do this, remove from the places accessible to the baby all those objects that can harm him. Let around him there will be only those objects that the baby can touch, taste, without harming himself. A small alteration in the apartment will give your baby sincere joy and a lot of pleasure and you will forget about the whims or hysteria of the baby.

The most common problem and whim in children is evening sleep whim. It's time for the child to sleep, and he wants to eat, drink, play or watch cartoons. Screaming won't help here. An excellent solution would be to develop special "rituals" that will signal to the child that bedtime is approaching: for example, watching the program "good night, kids" and the like. And yet, an excellent way is to remove all active toys an hour before bedtime and stop the child’s active games.

This is not easy or learning to speak

Another very common cause of children's irritability is the difficulty during the assimilation of speech. The kid grows and develops, he learns new things every day, he can already do a lot of things, but, unfortunately, his speech does not develop as easily and simply. He begins to mumble, makes sounds, stretches out his hands to convey his emotions, but others cannot understand him. And here the child again turns to an already working method: to whims. In this case, a childish whim can manifest itself as a refusal to do the usual things (unwillingness to bathe, indignation and protest against the potty, etc.). In other words, the child has been changed, as it were, and now everything that he loved to do causes irritation, whims and hysteria in the baby.

As it is already clear, this is not a whim, but a cry for help, a kind of hint to parents. After all, the child gives a signal that he wants to speak, but cannot. And in this case, it is impossible to show aggression, violence in any case. Take a closer look at your child and then you will find the reason for his whim. After all, it is likely that during the last bath the water was hot, and this discomfort left a mark on the baby. There can be a lot of options, so it is important to be patient and study the reasons for the baby's behavior. Some time will pass and the baby's habits will return to their previous course.

Children's whims and adult behavior

No one is pleased when a child begins to act up, build a tantrum and behave terribly. Such behavior in a child makes parents lose their temper and they want to quickly get the child to stop whims. However, one must understand that a childish whim is a cry for help. And in doing so, the child expects the parents to rush to his aid.

Dear parents, remember that your child's whims are not just an outrage. This is the only available means by which the child calls his parents for help, and since he is not understood, he fills his “arsenal” and crying, roaring, screaming, biting, pulling his hair and the like are already being used. But there is one point: if such behavior gives results and the child achieves what he wants with his whim, then such behavior is fixed in him as the only correct way to get what he wants. And the child will consider such behavior as the norm and will solve all his problems with whims.

Of course, everyone understands that this cannot be allowed. Therefore, you need to respond to the whims of the baby and show him that in this way he will not achieve anything. And if you respond correctly to the whims of the child, then he will begin to change his behavior.

Let's take a look below at the main models of adult behavior that become the reasons for the appearance of whims in children.

1. There are situations when you simply should not pay attention to the whims of the baby. In some cases, this may be the best solution to the problem. After all, it is often easier for a child to calm down when there is no one around. Since often the presence of people nearby, who are trying to calm him down or feel sorry for him, only give a backlash and a new wave of whims begins.
2. Many parents mistakenly believe that the more attention and love surround the child, the less he will be capricious. But in fact, everything is exactly the opposite: those children who are overprotected and loved become capricious. Of course, a child needs parental love, affection and care. But, as psychologists assure, everything must be in moderation. You can't go to extremes. It is necessary to convey to the child that parents have other responsibilities and they cannot sit around hugging the child all day.
3. The next extreme that "spoils" the child is unlimitedness and permissiveness. As psychologists assure, from early childhood, every child should know what such words as “no” and “no” mean. These words will become an incentive to discipline the baby later. When your child knows these words, he is much less naughty and throws tantrums. After all, he knows that if mom said no, then no matter how much you cry, no remains no. The main thing here is to be persistent and not give in to the child, otherwise these words will be a simple sound for the baby.
4. Excessive adult attention - the child needs to play alone or communicate with peers using gestures and smiles. If a mother or another adult is always next to him, then this can also lead to children's whims, because the obsession of adults pumps up the baby. It would be better if you communicate with other mothers during the walk and let the child enjoy the walk on his own or “find a friend” from a nearby stroller. Naturally, it is important to observe the measure here, since the child cannot be left all alone. Without the attention of an adult, a child may develop unwanted psychological problems or it may negatively affect his emotional state. And in this case, he will have whims with which he will try to attract attention.
5. Parental inconsistency is one of the most detrimental phenomena for babies. If mom says one thing, and dad says something else, and at this time grandparents say the third, then the child has problems adapting to the outside world. Or he starts trying to fit in with everyone. In order to avoid such undesirable consequences, it is necessary to agree on the key points in the upbringing of the baby. And if something was possible yesterday, but today it is impossible, then you need to explain the reason for the change to the child. After all, he can understand everything on an emotional level, despite the fact that he is very small.

In order to properly raise a child and not provoke the appearance of whims in him, you need to be persistent and follow the above tips.

One last thing

For the correct upbringing of the child, parents must first of all be attentive and consistent themselves. No matter how hard it is, you can not succumb to the whims of the baby. If they say you can't do something, then you can't do it!

But at the same time, you can't overdo it. If you are strict with your child all the time, then he will close from you forever.

In order for your child to be calmer, you need to spend more time on a walk. In addition, it is important for them to draw up and comply with the regime. In addition, do not forget that if there is a restless atmosphere in the family, this cannot but affect the child.

If your child does something new, or something good, then you need to praise him for it. Show your baby that he is important to you. Let him see that you are attentive to him and to his successes. And soon you will see how your baby's behavior changes and how calm, kind and, most importantly, without whims he becomes.

There comes an age in babies when whims cannot be avoided no matter how ideal the approach to education is ... This is the normal state of a small growing organism and, first of all, a growing personality! Without the formation of our own self, we would all be very unadapted to life, therefore, there come such moments when the child begins to “assert himself” due to whims))) they are still inexperienced, very crumbs and try all the ways (like we, parents, once in our deep childhood, about which we very often forget).
How to overcome whims without destroying the child's psyche and without breaking his character? How not to beat off the desire to grow personally in the future? These are important questions that every normal person raising a child asks. The article below has ways to make life easier for you and your little ones. Read, apply, draw conclusions)))) I hope the information will be useful to someone and help))))

Whims.
1. Ignore bad behavior

Sometimes parents themselves encourage the child's bad behavior by paying attention to it. Attention can be both positive (praise) and negative (criticism), but sometimes a complete lack of attention can be a solution to a child's misbehavior. If you understand that your attention only provokes the child, try to restrain yourself. The Ignore Technique can be very effective, but it must be done correctly. Here are a few conditions to keep in mind:

Ignoring means not paying attention at all. Do not react to the child in any way - do not shout, do not look at him, do not talk to him. (Keep a close eye on the child, but do something about it.)
- Completely ignore the child until he stops behaving badly. This can take 5 or 25 minutes, so be patient.
- The rest of the family in the same room as you should also ignore the child.
- As soon as the child stops misbehaving, you should praise him. For example, you could say, “I'm so glad you stopped screaming. I don't like it when you scream like that, it hurts my ears. Now that you're not screaming, I'm much better." The "ignoring technique" requires patience, and most importantly, do not forget that you are not ignoring the child, but his behavior.

2. Leave
Age: children under 2 / 2 to 5 / 6 to 12
Once I met a young mother, her daughter was surprisingly well-behaved and sat next to me all the time. I asked my mother what the secret of such exemplary behavior was. The woman replied that when her daughter starts to act up and scream, she just leaves, sits somewhere at a distance and reads. At the same time, she sees her child and, if necessary, can always quickly approach. When leaving, the mother does not give in to the whims of her daughter and does not allow herself to be manipulated.

Children of any age can drive moms and dads to such a state that parents lose control over themselves. If you feel like you are losing control of yourself, you need time to recover. Give yourself and your child time to calm down.

3. Use a distraction
Age: children under 2 / 2 to 5 / 6 to 12
Another way to avoid aggravating the situation is to divert the attention of the child. Best of all, this method works before the child becomes naughty so that you will no longer get through to him.
Remember: the sooner you intervene and the more original your distraction proposal is, the higher your chances of success.

4. Change of scenery
Age: children 2 to 5
It is also good to physically take the child out of a difficult situation. A change of scenery often allows both children and parents to stop feeling stuck. Which spouse should pick up the child? Not at all the one who is more "concerned" about the problem - contrary to popular belief. (This subtly supports the “mom is in charge” paradigm.) Such a mission should be entrusted to the parent, who at this particular moment is showing great cheerfulness and flexibility. Get ready: when the environment changes, your child will be even more upset at first. But if you manage to get past that point, both of you will no doubt begin to calm down.

5. Use a replacement
Age: children under 2 / 2 to 5 / 6 to 12
If the child does not do what is required, keep him busy with what is necessary. Children need to be taught how, where and when to behave properly. It is not enough for a child to say: “This is not the way to do it.” He needs to explain how to act in this case, that is, show an alternative. Here are some examples:
- If the child draws with a pencil on the couch, give him a coloring book.
- If your daughter takes her mother's cosmetics, buy her children's cosmetics that can be easily washed off.
- If the child throws stones, play ball with him.
When your child plays with something fragile or dangerous, just give him another toy instead. Children are easily carried away and find an outlet for their creative and physical energy in everything.

Your ability to quickly find a replacement for a child's unwanted behavior can save you from many problems.

6. Strong hugs
Age: children under 2 / 2 to 5
Under no circumstances should children be allowed to harm themselves or others. Don't let your child fight - not with you or anyone else, even if it doesn't hurt. Sometimes mothers, unlike fathers, tolerate when small children try to hit them. Many men complain to me about the "humiliation" their wives endure by allowing angry toddlers to beat them, and that such patience spoils the child. For their part, mothers are often afraid to fight back, so as not to "suppress" the child's morale.
- It seems to me that in this case, dads are usually right, and there are several reasons for this. Fighting children behave the same way not only at home, but also in other places, with strangers. In addition, it is very difficult to get rid of the bad habit of reacting to something with physical violence later. You don't want children to grow up believing that a mother (read - women) will endure almost anything, even physical violence.
- Here is one very effective way to teach your child to keep his hands to himself: hug him tightly, preventing him from kicking and fighting. Say firmly and authoritatively, "I won't let you fight." Again, no magic - be prepared. At first, he will squeal even louder and beat in your hands with a vengeance. It is at this moment that you need to hold it especially tightly. Little by little the child will begin to feel your firmness, conviction and your strength, he will understand that you are holding him back without harming him and not allowing sharp actions against himself - and he will begin to calm down.

7. Find the positives
Age: children under 2 / 2 to 5 / 6 to 12
Nobody likes to be criticized. Criticism is disgusting! Children, when they are criticized, feel irritation and resentment. As a result, they are much less willing to make contact. Nevertheless, sometimes it is necessary to criticize the wrong behavior of the child. How can conflict be avoided? Soft! We all know the expression "sweeten the pill". Soften your criticism, and the child will more easily accept it. I recommend "sweetening" unpleasant words with a little praise. For example:
- Parent: "You have a wonderful voice, but you can't sing at dinner."
- Parent: "You're great at football, but you need to do it on the field, not in the classroom."
- Parent: “It’s good that you told the truth, but the next time you are going to visit, ask permission first.”

8. Offer a choice
Age: children under 2 / 2 to 5 / 6 to 12
Have you ever thought about why a child sometimes so actively resists the instructions of his parents? The answer is simple: it is a natural way of asserting your independence. Conflict can be avoided by offering the child a choice. Here are some examples:
- Food: "Will you have scrambled eggs or porridge for breakfast?" "Which would you like for dinner, carrots or corn?"
- Clothes: “Which shirt will you wear to school, blue or yellow?” “Will you dress yourself, or will I help you?”
- Household chores: "Are you going to clean up before or after dinner?" “Will you take out the trash or wash the dishes?”
Letting the child choose for himself is very helpful - it makes him think for himself. The ability to make decisions contributes to the development of a healthy sense of self-worth and self-esteem of the child. At the same time, parents, on the one hand, satisfy the offspring's need for independence, and on the other hand, retain control over his behavior.

9. Don't Forget Your Sense of Humor
Age: children under 2 / 2 to 5 / 6 to 12
Something happened to us on the thorny path to adulthood. We began to take everything very seriously, perhaps even too seriously. Children laugh 400 times a day! And we, adults, - about 15 times. Let's face it, there are many things in our adult lives that we could approach with more humor, and especially when dealing with children. Humor is a great way to relieve tension, both physical and mental, helping to cope with the most difficult situations.

Here are some more ideas: use your imagination and acting skills. Animate inanimate objects (the gift of ventriloquism does not hurt at all). Use a book, a cup, a shoe, a sock - in general, everything that is at hand in order to achieve your goal. A child who refuses to fold his toys is likely to change his mind if his favorite toy cries and says, “It's late, I'm so tired. I want to go home. Help me!" Or, if the child does not want to brush his teeth, a toothbrush can help coax him.

Warning: Use of humor should also be done with care. Avoid sarcasm or mean jokes.

Sources:
1. Don Lighter “Raising a child. 50 effective ways to teach your child to behave properly.
2. R. Teffel and R. Israeloff "Parents quarrel: what to do?".

Father:

“I’ll have to punish you, son, although it’s very unpleasant for me!”

“In that case, who do you want to please?”

All children are naughty. But at different ages they do it for different purposes, for different reasons and, accordingly, in different ways. The peak of whims falls on the age of 2 years. It is at this time that the baby actively checks relationships with other people and forms the skills of correct behavior.

As the psychologist and teacher Rail Kashapov writes, a whim is emotional pressure on an adult, an attempt to force parents to do what the child wants.

It is very important that adults understand what is happening with their child, and behave correctly in response to children's whims and tantrums.

For example, is it necessary to pick up a child when he is naughty? The answer here will be ambiguous. Of course, the child needs to be picked up periodically - children need parental warmth and affection. Of course, this should be done when the child is scared, upset, or simply tired. But when this is just a selfish attempt to attract attention (mother is talking to someone, working with another child, etc.), then in such a situation the baby should be refused.

Or the already familiar situation with the adaptation of children to kindergarten: whims, tantrums and other "concerts". We also encountered such short whims with our Tanya. Moreover, her whims were not about the fact that we left her in the garden, but because there were still children there, to whom the teacher also paid attention. Naturally, there is no need to react to such whims: the child must learn to live in society and take into account the interests of others. After all, it is at this age that 2 basic rules of etiquette “Respect!” and “Do not interfere!”, on which the main law of conflict-free communication and interaction with people around is built: “Your freedom ends where the freedom of another person begins.”

Even more “terrible” whims are the whims about buying some thing or sweets arranged in the store ...

But do not be afraid of the capricious behavior of your child. I never get tired of repeating: in general, everything that happens to a child under the age of 3, both positive and negative, should not be afraid! The main thing is not to let it take its course!

Children's whims should be treated with understanding, but at the same time no concessions should be made. If you give in once, then again and again, then the child will form the wrong idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhow to get your way. As R. Kashapov again claims, “Whims, as a phenomenon, are easier to stop at the first, second, third, tenth trick than at the fiftieth or hundredth. While the child is still small and has not gone into a rage, but only makes attempts, it is possible to stop the development of this phenomenon.

Tip 1:

Do not give in under the influence of tantrums, because their goal is to put pressure on adults to get what they want. Try to figure out when and for what reason the child falls into such a state, and based on these conclusions, simply try not to allow this to happen again.

For example, if you understand that the child is not in the mood to eat on his own in the next moment, although he knows how to do it, then there is no need to insist. It is better to feed him right away, without provoking whims, than to endure his tantrum and. as a result, leave the child without food? continuing to insist.

Tip 2:

Watch for yourself: maybe you say the words “no” and “no” too often. Of course, the child must clearly know the boundaries of what is permitted. And at the same time, it will be more effective if you more often begin to indicate what it is “possible” for him. For example, instead of the phrase “You can’t pull the cat’s tail!” better say: “The cat can be stroked. Like this". Or, instead of forbidding touching the iron, teach your baby how to use it (correctly take it by the handle, etc.). The goal is the same - to protect the child, but the emotional coloring of words and actions is different.

Tip 3:

Answer the child's requests clearly and definitely. No evasive answers, otherwise he will achieve his whims and hysteria. Instead of the words “I would have allowed you to eat candy, but my mother didn’t tell me,” it’s more correct to say: “You can’t take candy. You can have cookies."

Tip 4:

Don't lose your temper! Sometimes it happens that adults begin to get angry and swear, escalating the situation. Keep calm, the ability to think and control yourself. Don't scream, eh. on the contrary, specifically speak as quietly as possible. If you have been talking, keep talking in a calm tone. Remember: you are a model for a child!

Tip 5:

During tantrums, do not try to explain something: the child at this time still does not hear anything. Just wait! You can use the method of "indifference": go about your business, quietly watching him. But be sure to protect the child by checking the environment so that he does not harm himself. One way or another, the tantrum will pass by itself.

Tip 6:

As soon as the tantrum passes, try to immediately forget about it and forgive the child. Do not remind about it, do not read morality and morality, do not insist on an apology and forgiveness. Better analyze the situation. The cause of hysteria can be: hunger, cold, illness, fatigue, lack of sleep, overexcitation, family and domestic problems, parental anxiety, etc.

In order to avoid whims, teach your child to express his desires in words. Explain that people express their needs not by screaming, falling to the floor, or biting, but by calmly expressing their requests to each other.

If your child tirelessly and daily throws tantrums, the reason here is rather not in him, but in you. This means that you cannot find an approach to it, or vice versa, you try too hard, and nothing good comes of it. Let's talk about how to cope with naughty children and survive children's tantrums.

The capriciousness of a child directly depends on his temperament. If a melancholic can be offended for a long time, carrying all the negative emotions in himself, then the choleric will most likely give you a colorful tantrum with a wild screech, simultaneously throwing all nearby objects. Whatever type of temperament your baby has, he needs to instill restraint and self-control from childhood.

1. First of all, you need to quickly and correctly determine the cause of children's whims. If a child demands to immediately buy something he likes, this is a common whim. In this case, try to talk to the child, it is unlikely that you will succeed during the scene itself, but at home explain to him why you cannot afford to buy everything. If the baby is trying to dress and lace up his shoes on his own, and you don’t have time for this, and you are trying to help him and hurry, the violent reaction in this case will be entirely on your conscience. Do not forget that raising children is a colossal patience.

2. Hysteria is much easier to prevent than to appease. When you see that something is wrong, try to distract the child - switch his attention. It can be an animal or a bird, a person passing by. The main thing is to choose the right words, and the baby will immediately forget about the previous problem.

3. When switching attention fails, try to ignore scenes. Leave the child alone for a while and let him calm down. Usually capricious children love to throw scenes in public. This works especially well in crowded places, when the child simply manipulates you, realizing that you are uncomfortable in front of people around you. Stay strong, don't care. Don't be confused by strangers - raising a child is more important. The child will notice your indifference and will soon realize that the usual tricks do not work. If the baby stubbornly does not want to calm down, try to conduct a dialogue with him quietly and calmly, attach a cool cloth to his temples.

4. You must choose the right and unified tactics in the fight against the appearance of children's whims and tantrums. A child spends most of his life at home, with his family, so it is here that it is important not to make mistakes. Try not to help the child get what he wants through tantrums, whims and manipulation of your nervous system. Do not punish him severely for whims, at the same time be strict - let him understand that you can achieve something from you only in a calm, balanced atmosphere through conversation, and in no case hysteria and scandals. If the child's demand is reasonable and acceptable, try to satisfy his desire without causing a tantrum.

5. Be careful about showing your emotions. If you are constantly on your nerves, the child will feel it and take over. Only unlike adults, it is much more difficult for children to avoid emotional outbursts, so it is your nervousness that can become the cause of the next problems. Never accompany the whims of your child with a vivid emotional reaction - the more emotions, persuasions, screams and physical strength you use, the more your child will be capricious. Sometimes children feel a lack of attention from their parents, and become more demanding and capricious. In this case, try to give your baby a little more time than usual, and in these moments, devote yourself completely to him, without being distracted by phone calls, work, and other relatives.

6. Do not use blackmail for educational purposes. Many parents make a fundamental mistake, starting to blackmail their child in case of disobedience: “If you don’t do your homework, then I won’t love you,” etc. Firstly, the child will very soon realize that your words are just words that do not entail any actions. In the future, your child may use your methods against you, and even surpass you: blackmail in adolescence is common. The second, no less common parental mistake is the use of denials for educational purposes: do not take, do not shout, not like that, not there. It is much better if you use the phrases “would be better if”, “better do this”.

7. When tantrums and whims subside, do not forget about the need for an educational conversation. Calmly explain to the child why you can’t behave this way, say that you are very upset by his whims and try to come to a consensus. Never sort things out with a screaming baby. You won't get a good result.

WHY THE CHILD IS Naughty

Dear my parents! If you have taken on this hard work - being parents, you will have to learn all the subtleties of one of the greatest sciences in the world - the science of raising children. And this is oh so difficult, not to mention the fact that it is even more difficult to apply the theory of education in practice, and even to your own child.
Imagine that you are going to work, in a hurry, and your beloved child starts acting up, crying, or even hysterical for no reason. You grab your head and don't know what to do. Or at the table, the baby suddenly refuses to eat, screams, throws a spoon, and by no means manages to calm him down and feed him. Sometimes the baby refuses to sleep. In the middle of the night, he suddenly starts calling you loudly, not thinking about sleep. He seems to be testing your patience, and you, with half-closed eyes, struggling with sleep, sit by his bed and tell him the same tale for the third time. What happens to him?
It turns out that at the age of one to three or five years, the child goes through a restructuring, during which he gains new experience, begins to understand more, and more acutely experience emotional conflicts. It was at this time that the baby begins to act up, having learned that in the world, in addition to the word “yes”, there is also the word “no”.
Some pediatricians call this age the "first age of stubbornness" (the second refers to 12-14 years). So unexpectedly, your seemingly docile son or daughter becomes capricious and obstinate, stubbornly refuses to fulfill any requirements, while they can behave very ugly: stomp their feet, cry, scream, throw everything that comes to hand, rush on the floor, trying in this way to achieve the desired.
The causes of such hysterical fits are usually very simple, but the adult does not always manage to recognize them immediately.
So why is the child naughty? There are several answers to this question.
Option one. The child is naughty, cries, if something bothers him, he is sick, but he does not understand this. After all, small children cannot feel what is happening in their body, the way adults feel and understand it.
Option two. The kid wants to get attention. He chose this way to communicate with you because he misses your company, your love. The need for “need for another” is one of the basic human needs.
Option three. Being naughty, the child wants to achieve something very desirable, namely: a gift, permission to walk, or something else that the parents forbid from some motives incomprehensible to the baby.
Option four. The child protests against overprotection and demonstrates a desire to be independent. This is quite natural if you adhere to an authoritarian parenting style, because he wants to be independent, and you constantly lead him: “You will wear this shirt!”, “You can’t do this!”, “Stop looking around!” etc.
Option five. There is no reason that could cause a tantrum. It is simply an expression of the child's conflict with himself. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep today? Or was he very tired during the day and therefore became capricious? Your family quarrels, scandals can also affect his mood. Think, analyze everything. As Janusz Korczak said, “A child is undisciplined and angry because he suffers.” In the causes of his suffering lies the answer to the question of why he is capricious.
And now we will consider each option in more detail and try to understand the reasons for this or that behavior of the child and how to help him cope with himself.

The kid got sick

The whims of the child may be evidence that he is ill, but he cannot say about it, because he himself does not understand what is happening to him.

One of the signs of illness is a change in behavior. At the same time, appetite usually decreases, the baby is easily excited, cries for no reason, then lies down on the sofa, then sits with an indifferent look. Attentive parents will immediately notice these changes and proceed to further examination.

Touch his forehead. For greater certainty, measure the temperature, since an increase in temperature is a consequence of infection of the body with an infection. It is sometimes difficult to tell by eye. There are children who play even at a temperature of 38-39.5 C, not realizing that they are ill.
The first manifestation of a cold can be a runny nose. In this way, the body usually tries to stop the infection. Coughing can also indicate the onset of the disease. Runny nose, cough and shortness of breath occur, for example, in diseases of the respiratory system, as well as in acute infectious diseases.
Ask your child if his ears hurt. It is during otitis that children are especially restless and capricious.
Often, preschool children experience abdominal pain, and not necessarily as a sign of some kind of disease. Sometimes pain in the abdomen is noted in nervous children, with increased excitability.
Another sure signal of illness is a headache, since it rarely bothers healthy children.
Look at the child's stool and urine, if there is any vomiting. Frequent urination can be one of the symptoms of a cold of the bladder and urinary tract, less often - kidney disease. Diarrhea indicates a digestive disorder, both infectious and non-infectious. Nervous children, on the contrary, are prone to constipation. Vomiting may be the first sign of illness.
Examine the child's body for a rash. The cause of its occurrence is infectious diseases and allergies. Moreover, the rash appears before other signs of infection. The specific color of the skin also indicates the presence of some kind of disease, for example, cyanosis indicates a sick heart, yellowness indicates jaundice, etc.
So, there are a lot of ways to find out if the baby is sick. This is an examination, and a conversation with the child, and observation of him. In any case, if you come to the conclusion that he is sick, he should be shown to the pediatrician as soon as possible. I do not advise self-medication, it is very dangerous, especially if the baby cannot correctly explain what hurts him.
Be prepared for the fact that sick children are very capricious. Everyone knows that getting sick is bad. The patient cannot run, play, he lies in bed and suffers. And it often turns out that for sick children, relatives try to do everything possible to make them feel good. They immediately find themselves in the center of attention, they get and buy any toys, sweets, fruits, indulge their whims. Is it necessary? After all, the baby, realizing that when he is sick, everything in this house is done for him, he can later resort to simulating the disease.

I do not call to deprive the child of parental care and attention. But you should consider whether your efforts are not excessive. The main thing is not to overdo it.

A call to fellowship

From the very beginning of life, a child needs parental love. However, if he is surrounded by excessive care and attention, he unconsciously begins to abuse them. So, already at the end of the first year of life, his cry, crying can mean not only that he wants to eat or drink. Crying becomes a way for him to call his parents to him, to attract their attention.

I will give an example from my practice.
Lena is 11 months old. Parents noticed that recently the girl has become very tearful. As soon as the mother leaves the room to do household chores, she begins to cry, and if the mother does not return, she screams. Worried parents went to the doctor to find out if something hurts their daughter. But if they were a little more attentive, they would understand for themselves that Lenochka is naughty, feeling uncomfortable without her mother. In such a situation, parents need, on the one hand, to pay more attention to the girl, on the other hand, not to indulge her whims and not follow her lead. Gradually, she must learn to play alone, because her mother cannot always be near her.

An increased demand for attention to oneself can manifest itself in different ways. For example, a child is naughty and demands to approach him, or turn on the light, or fasten a button. Usually parents try to influence him with such words: “Finally stop whining!”, “If you continue, I will lock you in the room,” etc. As a rule, swearing and threats do not help. After a while, the child begins to do the same, and often even more naughty.

If you want to avoid whims, try to spend more time with your baby together.

The child feels more confident in the presence of parents, this creates a sense of security in him. You have probably seen such a picture: when visiting strangers, the baby clings to his mother all the time, hiding behind her. But gradually he begins to look around and from time to time makes “walks” from her to the guests he likes, constantly returning to his mother.
Many parents at the reception and in letters complain that they do not have enough time to communicate with their children. But the main thing is not how much time you spend, but how you spend it. At the same time, you can not give up household chores, but communicate with the child in the process of doing them. Just pay attention to the baby, talk to him, and he will be very happy about this.
It is very important when communicating with a child to be sincere and natural. The child will immediately feel false. Therefore, to communicate with him, you need to tune in, remove irritation, forget about your worries. And then the time spent with the baby will bring joy to both of you.
Have more family gatherings. It is very good on such days, in addition to the traditional feast, to come up with some surprises, entertainment for the whole family. You can go to the theater or take a country walk. There are many ways to spend family time. It would be a wish!

Reaction to parental prohibition

Tears in a child may be a reaction to parental prohibition. It is difficult for a child to understand what is "possible" and what is "impossible". You must help him figure it out. In this case, it is necessary to take into account the age-related characteristics of the psyche and physiology of the child.
At the age of one, the baby is attracted to bright and catchy objects. With a cry and tears, he can ask for an object of interest to him. For example, a child saw a beautifully iridescent crystal glass, but you are afraid that he might break it and cut himself. In this case, you should switch the baby's attention to a safer toy.

Very often, parents love their child so much that they buy too many toys. But some time passes, and they all bother him. And then the child strives for something new and often forbidden. To prevent this from happening, do not give him all the toys at once, but change them from time to time.

At the age of one year, the child is teething. In this regard, he has a need to take every thing in his mouth. Make sure that your baby's toys are not small, sharp, or fragile.

One mother told me the following story. She loved her daughter so much that every day she tried to surprise her. The baby had a lot of toys, but she was already bored with them, and she did not pay any attention to them. And then the inventive mom wrapped some of the toys in foil to make them more noticeable. Naturally, my daughter was very happy, but soon discovered that the foil can be unfolded. Immediately there was a desire to taste it. She accidentally choked on a small piece of foil, and her mother had to call a doctor.

Recently, cases of poisoning of young children with paint covering toys have become more frequent. Therefore, when buying toys, be sure to check whether the material from which they are made is safe.
Closer to three years, the child has a need to get to know the world around him. He strives to become a full member of the family. He wants to participate in all household chores, to feel his importance.
But some parents, worrying about the child, restrict his freedom.

I know one family in which the world was clearly divided into "adult" and "children's". Parents panicked for the baby, gave him a separate room and limited his access to other places, such as the kitchen and living room. It seemed to them that in the kitchen a pan with hot compote might fall on him, in the living room he might be exposed to TV radiation. They even forbade him to run, because he could fall and hit the battery.
But the curious child did not accept the situation and sought to forbidden places whenever mom or dad was distracted from his person. He was afraid of being noticed, so he tried to do everything quickly. Every time something fell, beat and broke. His parents tried to divert his attention from dangerous objects with sweets. When a child became interested in some object, access to which, according to the parents, children are strictly forbidden, they gave him something tasty.
The son learned this very soon and began to deliberately create such situations. Only his demands were growing, and he cried harder, and shouted louder. Parents, concerned about the state of his psyche, turned to me for help.
With great difficulty, I managed to convince them that they were initially wrong.

The child should be able to explore the world in which he lives, and you must help him in this. Let him become an assistant in all household chores. Just present it in the form of a game. Do you erase? Give him a small bowl and let him wash his socks. Do you cook in the kitchen? Let him do the same and feed his toys. There are several benefits to doing household chores together. Firstly, the child is always nearby and you can control his actions. Secondly, you have a great opportunity to explain to the baby the purpose of some objects and show which of them can be dangerous for him.
You will have to face certain difficulties when the baby begins to communicate with peers. Each child will play with their own toys. Your baby will want to have many of them, and he will ask you for them. You will have to talk to him and explain that it is impossible to buy everything.
If this does not help, play a game called "Shop" with him. Give him toy money and ask him to make the necessary purchases. When the money runs out and the baby can no longer buy anything, he will understand that what he wants is not always available.
If the whims do not stop, think about it: maybe this is a kind of way to test your reaction. In such cases, you must be firm and consistent. Leave the baby alone with himself, and soon he will calm down and change his behavior.

Talk to your child as equals. If the baby knows that you will always help him figure out this or that issue, listen patiently, explain, give advice, then there will be much less whims, and the child will grow up calm and unspoiled.

self-affirmation

As already noted, an immoderately enthusiastic attitude towards children, in which they feel excessive parental love, forms egoism and selfishness in them. The child has hypertrophied self-esteem, that is, he becomes undemanding to himself, but intolerant and over-demanding to others. At the same time, some children get so tired of parental love that they experience emotional overstrain, which is expressed in tears, whims, stubbornness, in opposition to everything that comes from adults.
The child perceives the care of parents in different ways: sometimes as a manifestation of love, sometimes as a hindrance and suppression of his "I". Numerous studies by psychologists show that a child needs a certain balance of guardianship and freedom from an early age for harmonious development. He must feel that he is not only taken care of and surrounded by care, but also given the right to make an independent choice, understand and respect him.
For example, the baby begins to misbehave at the table. He refuses some dishes, asks for other food, demands a pacifier, although he has not used it for a long time. If in this case openly put pressure on him, he will continue his whims and become even more stubborn.

It is necessary to agree that he has become independent and can choose his own dishes and eat as much as he wants. Believe me, he will not die of hunger, his life instinct will not let him die. Treat what is happening with patience and humor.

Many parents believe that they adhere to a democratic parenting style, but in reality this is not the case. “Caring” mothers literally don’t let some children take a step: “Don’t go there! Don't take it in hand! Don't play here! These are just some of the replicas that can be heard on the playground. Yes, parents should protect their kids from trouble, but is it always so necessary? Still, a child is not a doll, not a piece of clay, and in many ways he creates himself, whether we like it or not. He needs to learn everything and try everything himself, and without stuffing bumps this will not work. It is better if you explain to the child how to act in this or that situation, and not overprotect him and prohibit everything in a row. Otherwise, he will never gain independence and self-confidence, will always act on your orders and remain infantile (and there are plenty of examples of this).
Pull yourself together, be patient and act like one wonderful mother, who told her son when he came from the street: “I didn’t walk well, since I came clean!”

To give the baby the right to independence, parents need to learn to distinguish their own interests from the desires of the child.

Dad really wanted to give his five-year-old son a gift. He took him to the toy store. There the boy began to ask for a wonderful, in his opinion, blue typewriter. But dad, having examined her, said that the machine was fragile and would quickly break down. And he offered to buy another, much more expensive. “But it’s nice to look at her!” he said admiringly. The purchase took place. The father was pleased, and the child, barely holding back tears, secretly looked at the car he liked. "Why don't you thank me, son?" asked the father in surprise. He did not understand that he did what he wanted, and the son only yielded to his pressure. This gift brought neither joy nor satisfaction to the boy, because he was not chosen by him. In this case, the egoism of the father towards his son was manifested. The child was given to understand that he was still small and could not do anything on his own. By the way, the father also broke his promise to his son. After all, he took the boy to the store so that he himself chose a toy for himself.

Sometimes, in many families, excessive strictness, drill is dictated by the interests of parents, to whom an obedient child gives less trouble. After all, it is always more convenient if the child is quiet, calm, sits in a corner and does not interfere with anyone, does not distract adults with questions and requests to play. But how will such a baby grow up? Will he be a harmoniously developed, creative person or will he remain “downtrodden” and limited for the rest of his life?

Invisible causes of whims

At the age of five, due to insufficient life experience and the impossibility of a critical understanding of what is happening, any situation can become a super-strong irritant for the baby. This is the wrong behavior of parents (quarrels and conflicts between them, fights, aggressiveness towards the child, other family members or pets), and some street impressions.
It is known that people are born with different types of nervous system. Those who have a strong type of nervous system are calm, do not get upset over trifles, and are resistant to all sorts of troubles. People with a weak nervous system are more sensitive, vulnerable, they are more acutely experiencing everyday difficulties.
Children with a weak nervous system are overly excitable, they have an increased response to various external and internal stimuli. For example, some children react very strongly even to minor pain: they start hysterical. A lump in porridge can cause vomiting, a scary movie watched at night can deprive you of sleep.

Such a child is difficult to stop if he is naughty. Try to calm him down, distract him, and if you notice that the stressful state does not go away for a long time, contact a neurologist or psychologist.

What to do if the child is naughty?

Whether to indulge his whims?

In order to raise and educate a child, parents often have to sacrifice personal affairs, work, and finances. But we must distinguish which sacrifices are necessary and which are harmful, since one of the troubles of "home pedagogy" is precisely that parents make unnecessary sacrifices. Trying to give a child a treat that is emphatically intended only for him, to buy an expensive toy, another new thing, you pamper him and give him a reason to feel "the one and only." And this can lead to the development of selfishness. If a kid from an early age is accustomed to being the center of attention, not being denied anything, this gradually becomes a life norm for him. He no longer understands or does not want to understand that the fulfillment of his desires infringes on the interests of other people - he is still capricious and insists on his own, regardless of anyone.
Of course, in middle-income families (and especially in low-income families), all the best is given to children, because there is no way to equally provide for all family members. But it is worth doing it in such a way that the child does not notice that he is given preference. Give him the most delicious pieces discreetly, buy new clothes without focusing on it.

So that the child does not grow up greedy, from a very young age it is necessary to teach him to share toys with his comrades, to rejoice in their successes, to talk not only about himself, but also about them. Raise him so that he is not selfish.

If your baby is the only child in the family, this is more difficult to do. He often becomes spoiled, from the cradle getting used to being the center of attention. And if he is also the only grandson of grandparents, the danger of raising him selfish and capricious increases. As a rule, such a child develops in greenhouse conditions. Adults deprive him of independence, and he grows up not adapted to life. And it all starts, in general, innocently, with such conversations: “Whom do we love more than anyone else in the world? Of course, Vanechka (Kolenka, Dima, etc.)! Who is our best? Of course he is!” Several years pass, and it turns out that for Vanechka, only he is the most beloved and dear.
In an overprotective environment, only children learn to take parental care for granted. They begin to feel strength in their weakness, abuse the attention of their parents and make excessive demands on them, becoming "little despots." They cannot be denied anything, otherwise they fall into hysterics.
All this can be avoided if it is reasonable to build a system of education.
Firstly, parents should take into account that love should be expressed not only in tenderness and affection, but also in exactingness.
Demanding is an essential element of proper education. The understanding that in life there is not only “I want” and “I don’t want”, but also “I must”, should be instilled in the baby from a very young age. He should be guided not only by his own desires, but also by the need for this or that for other family members. If a child is accustomed from childhood to fulfill the reasonable requirements placed on him, he will quickly get used to the conditions of the kindergarten, to study at school, he will grow strong-willed, organized and disciplined.

When children's "give" and "I want" begin to go beyond the limits of reason, they must collide with your "no", "no", "I do not allow", and the success of your entire upbringing system will depend on these first forbidding words.

I advise you to express your demands in a persistent, but calm and friendly manner. If you only scream at the child and constantly pull him up with the words: “Don’t you dare!”, “Don’t run!”, “Don’t touch!” - nothing good will come of it. Shouts only unnerve and annoy the baby, but they do not teach him anything.

It is very important to avoid value judgments about the child. You can criticize only his individual actions, and not the child as a whole.

Secondly, we must remember that a necessary condition for proper upbringing is the unity of requirements for the child. It is impossible for one parent to allow what the other forbids. For example, mom did not let the baby go for a walk, but dad allowed it. Parents, having learned about the inconsistency of their requirements, begin to swear and pull the child: “you will go”, “you won’t go”, etc. The discrepancy in the requirements prevents the baby from firmly learning the need to obey his parents and makes him capricious. Sometimes inconsistency in requirements can lead to opportunism. The child will quickly understand which of the relatives can be moved to pity, from whom to achieve the fulfillment of their desires, and with whom one must be quiet and obedient. With a strict dad, he will behave in a disciplined manner, and with a kind mother, he will begin to “get out” and achieve his own.
It is very bad if adults in the presence of the baby begin to argue about the correctness and incorrectness of his upbringing, accuse each other of pedagogical errors, excessive kindness or severity. In this case, on the one hand, parental authority is undermined, and on the other hand, the child suffers because of a quarrel between mom and dad. But the authority of parents should always be high, otherwise successful education is unthinkable. Your child believes that his mom and dad are the best. Do not destroy his faith with senseless quarrels and mutual reproaches! It is painful for a child to hear something bad about a father or mother, to see them scolding each other.

If you set an example for your child with your lifestyle, and your requirements for him are the same and you always keep your promises, then your authority will be recognized and this will help you avoid many problems.

How to respond to tantrums

We have already considered the possible actions of parents in situations where the baby is naughty.
But a child can also begin a real tantrum with fits of rage, when he throws everything that comes to hand. From strong tears, with which the baby literally chokes, he may even faint. Such fainting does not cause serious harm to the health of the child, but still it is better not to allow them: tantrums should be tried to stop as soon as possible, without bringing the baby to a critical state.
At the same time, remember: such attacks are a signal that the child is experiencing a strong internal conflict.

The behavior of parents during whims and tantrums should be based on three principles: try to understand, indicate the limits of acceptable behavior, and show sympathy.

For example, you already know that the baby really wants to be independent and at the same time is afraid of losing the care of his parents. Contradictions torment him, and this results in a violent refusal of everything that is offered to him, in whims or hysterics, even in fits of rage when the child throws toys, pushes you, fights. In no case do not yield to the baby, but also do not answer rudeness with rudeness. Staying calm, talk to him like an adult, don't think he won't understand. Ask what happened, and based on his story, try to figure out the situation with him and find a compromise.
Explain to the child that you cannot agree with his demands, that there are limits to everything and that you are not going to indulge him. At the same time, show that you love him very much and sympathize with his experiences. Tell them that adults can't always do what they want either. Promise that now you will play some interesting game with him.

When four-year-old Maxim was put to bed, he always violently resisted: he got up, walked around the room, played. His parents made him go to bed again. It ended in swearing and beatings. Why was the boy behaving like this? He just tried in such a strange way to attract the attention of dad and mom. After the punishment, he calmed down, but the next day the situation repeated itself. Parents became more and more angry and annoyed, constantly scolded and punished the boy. It turned out a vicious circle: the more the child was capricious, the more he was punished, the more he was punished, the more he was stubborn. There was a real domestic war. And usually in such a war children win, while spending much less effort than their parents. Toddlers quickly understand how to "bring" adults, and skillfully use it.

Some parents believe that a capricious child must be kept in check, otherwise he will do God knows what. At the same time, they do not take into account that often the whims of the child are due to the fact that he lacks understanding and warmth.
If the child refuses to sleep, this may be due to the increased excitability of his nervous system. Invite the baby to go to bed with his favorite toy or tell him a story, sing a lullaby.
The internal conflicts of the child can be expressed in a kind of "regression". He suddenly begins to speak badly, asks for a pacifier, demands feeding from a spoon. Don't be scared. This is a typical reaction of preschool children to the contradictions that torment them. In this way, the child, as it were, is protected from difficult and incomprehensible situations for him. Take note of these conditions, but don't be horrified by them. Over time, the regressive phenomena will pass. If they remain for a long time, seek help from a qualified specialist.

Try to communicate with your baby with humor. Teach him to love jokes and entertainment. In some situations, you can gently tease him or laugh at yourself. Laughter can help you cope with the whims of the child, avoid conflict situations.

About parental love

Don't be afraid to show your baby that you love him. Some parents think that it is impossible to openly express their feelings for a child, otherwise a minion and a sissy will grow out of it. Everything is good in moderation. There is a difference between the constant exaggerated admiration for your child: “Oh, you are our beloved, you are our dear!” - and a true, natural expression of love for him. It is unlikely that a woman will believe in a man's love if she does not hear the words of recognition. Why are we so afraid to tell our children that we love them? After all, they themselves often exclaim: “Mommy, how I love you!” - don't be ashamed of your feelings. For a baby, confirmation that he is loved is very important, especially when, for some reason, he is separated from his parents. Numerous experiments have shown that children who end up in the hospital tolerate separation from their parents better and recover faster when they are sure that they are loved, and not think that their parents left them there as punishment for bad behavior.

Five-year-old Olesya was capricious and screamed loudly every time she didn’t like something. At the same time, she stamped her feet and threw toys. The adults could neither calm nor persuade her. In the end, the parents decided to do this: let the girl cry alone. But so that she does not feel rejected, abandoned, her mother will affectionately talk to her and try to explain that everyone in the family loves her and it is very unpleasant for them to hear her crying. Parents achieved their goal: Olesya believed in parental love, there were fewer whims, and over time they completely stopped.

A few words about ways of expressing warm feelings. They can be verbal and non-verbal. The verbal way is verbal expressions, the non-verbal way is facial expressions and gestures. Both of them are very important. Some parents believe that when the baby grows up, he no longer needs physical contact with his parents. However, experimental data show that at the age of up to five years, it is precisely such contact that is necessary not only for the emotional, but also for the mental development of the child.

How to distract a child from whims.

One way to deal with children's whims and tantrums is to switch the child's attention to something else. For example: “Oh, what big tears disappear! Let's put them in a bottle!" Or: “Look, a whim sits on your shoulder and cries. Let's get her out!" You can distract the baby's attention with some new bright object or offer him an interesting activity. For example, watch a filmstrip, a cartoon or read your favorite fairy tale with him.
You can invite your child to participate in an activity of your choice (cleaning the apartment, cooking, etc.) or decide together what you will do. Or you can join your child's activities. Stop being a strict parent for a while, become an equal participant in some children's game.
For example, play as a family. Take on the role of a child, and let your baby be a father or mother. Playing the role of an adult, he will use the experience gained in the family, and you will see yourself as if from the outside. And this is sometimes very useful!

All three communication options are very important. When a child connects to your affairs, he feels his need, joins the world of adults. If you decide together what to do, he gets used to democratic communication: he learns ways to choose what everyone likes, and not just him. By playing a children's game, you yourself learn to understand the baby, and the child feels his importance (after all, in games he is always the main one, and the parent is only a timid student). But the most important thing, of course, is that in all cases the child enjoys communication together, feels parental love and becomes more understanding and gentle himself.

nursery rhymes

You can distract and amuse the baby with folk rhymes.

Finger boy, where have you been?
With this brother I went to the forest,
I cooked cabbage soup with this brother,
I ate porridge with this brother,
I sang songs with this brother.

At these words, the adult goes through the fingers of the child: first the big one, then the rest.
Take some soft toy, for example, a cat, and, turning to it, jokingly shaking your finger, say:

pussy pussy
Pussy, get out!
To the track
Don't sit down!
Our baby
Will go
Through the pussy will fall!

At the last words, the adult hugs the baby and presses the cat to him.
A child may also be interested in a poem about a bunny:

Once upon a time there was a bunny
Long ears.
Frostbitten bunny
Ears on the edge.
Frostbitten nose,
Frostbite ponytail
And went to warm up
Visit the kids.

Try to beat this poem about a bird:

The bird sat on the window
Stay with us for a while!
Sit, do not fly away, flew away.
Ai!

At the beginning of the poem, a toy is shown, and at the end (at the word "Ai!") She hides. You can show a live bird sitting outside the window.

Depict a steam locomotive and this will cheer up the child. The content of the poem "Locomotive" includes the baby in an active game, motor and onomatopoeic.

Steam locomotive buzzed
And he brought wagons.
Choo-choo, choo-choo!
I will go far!

The poem must be read in a clear rhythm, singing the last line lingering, imitating the locomotive whistle. You can stand up, holding each other, and, moving around the room to the beat of the words, repeat together: “Choh-choh, choo-choo! Choh-choh, choo-choo!"
An adult can portray a horse that stands shaking its head, and then go on a journey with a baby on its back.

Hop! Hop! The horse is alive
And with a tail and a mane,
He shakes his head -
That's how beautiful!
You get on a horse
And hold on with your hands.
look at us
We're leaving for mom.

You can, as it were, “wrestle” with a child and make him laugh with a nursery rhyme:

I will tie the goat
To the white birch.
I will bind the horned
To the white birch:
Stop my goat
Stop, don't be afraid
white birch,
Stop, don't swing.

If there is a cat in the house, bring it to the child and sing this joke:

Like our cat
The coat is very good.
Like a cat mustache
amazing beauty,
Bold eyes, white teeth.
The cat went to the street
Bought a bun for a cat
Do you eat yourself?
Or should Borenka (Petenka, Vanechka, etc.) be demolished?
I'll bite myself
And I'll take down Borenka.

Puzzles

Ask your child riddles about animals, maybe they will interest him, and he will forget about his whims.

You will find her
Summer in the swamp.
green frog,
Who is it?
(Frog)

Who's on the tree, on the bitch
Everyone screams: "Coo-coo, coo-coo"?
(Cuckoo.)

cunning cheat,
Red head.
Fluffy tail - beauty!
And her name is...
(Fox.)

shakes his beard,
Wandering across the lawn
"Give me herbs,
Me-e-her. (Goat.)

Gets up early
Singing in the yard.
Scallop on the head
Who is this?
(Cockerel.)

I don't understand
I don't understand
Who is mooing all the time: “My-y”? (Cow)

She usually takes her time
He wears a strong shield on his back.
Under it, not knowing fear,
Walking-(Turtle.)

Games

A very good distraction for a child who is naughty is joint games. Some of them I want to offer you. These games are not only entertaining, but also educational.

"Sun and Rain"

Game for kids 2-3 years old. She teaches children to designate one object with the help of another. So, a chair or table in this game will be a house in which you need to hide. You can use a circle outlined in chalk as a house, or a corner of a room. The driver says: "The sun is in the sky, you can go for a walk." Players jump, run, dance. At the words of the driver: “The rain starts, hurry home!” The children must run to their houses. The driver praises those who did it faster and more dexterously.

"Duck"

An adult in this game takes the role of a duck, and children take the role of ducklings that follow the duck with its tail. The duck calls the ducklings with a tongue twister:

Faster, faster ducks
Faster, faster, wild feathers.

The duckling (or several ducklings) line up one after another after the duck and follow it around the room, overcoming various obstacles - crawling under chairs, climbing over the sofa, etc. At the same time, you can invite the kids to imitate the quacking of ducklings for greater reliability.

"Geese are flying"

The adult in this game is the driver. He names various birds that fly: “ducks fly”, “geese fly”, etc. After these words, children should raise their hands and wave their “wings” if the named bird really flies. But when the driver says, for example, “pikes are flying,” the players stand without raising their hands. The one who makes a mistake gives the driver a phantom (the thing belonging to him), and then, at the request of the driver, performs some task. In this game, the driver names only those animals and birds that are known to children, that is, tasks must correspond to the age of the kids.

"Hide and Seek"

You can play hide and seek if there is enough space in the apartment for this. Children love to hide, and this game will quickly amuse a naughty toddler. Everyone knows the rules of the game, I will not repeat them, I will only note that you should not try to hide so that the child cannot find you, and you should not find him very quickly either. Look for him, intrigue, then, having found him, make a very surprised look, they say, how did you manage to hide like that, I barely found you (found)!

"Chepena"

A fun game, reminiscent of the famous collective game "If life is fun, do it ..". The players stand in a circle, the driver is in the middle. If you are playing alone with your baby, stand opposite each other. You will be the head of the game. The child must repeat all your words and movements. And the words are:

Left foot, chepena,
Goy, goy, chepena.

(The players repeat the words and bounce on their left foot.)

Right foot, chepena,
Goy, goy, chepena.

(All the same, just bounce on the right foot.)

Let's go ahead, Chepena, Goy, Goy, Chepena.

(Children repeat the same.)

Let's go back, chepena,
Goy, goy, chepena.

(Players repeat.)

Movements can be invented ad infinitum. You can finish everything with a dance:

Let's dance, chepena,
Goy, goy, chepena.

"Handkerchief"

A game of skill and attention. Recommended for two or more participants. The players become in a circle and lead a round dance (it is possible to the music). At the end of the music, or just at some point, the driver throws up a handkerchief. The task of the other players is to catch him. Whoever catches the scarf first wins!

"silence"

Before the start of the game, the participants pronounce a rhyme, for example:

An apple rolled in the garden
And fell right into the water... Bool!

After that, everyone should be silent. The host tries to make the players laugh with different movements, words, facial expressions. Who laughs - he lost. He gives the leader a phantom, and then, at his request, performs some task.

"Land and Water"

Reaction game. She will make the child laugh and distract from the whims, the host leads the game. It can be you and your baby. You can also involve other family members in the game, for example, a grandmother or a baby's brother (sister).
When the facilitator says the word "land", the player or players jump forward, when the facilitator says the word "water", the players take a step back.
Tasks can be changed at will. For example, do not jump if not everyone likes it, but raise your hands, squat, say something. The leader’s words can also be changed: “shore - river”, “sea - land”, etc.

"Treasure hunt"

Hide some sweets or toys in the room. Interest the child in the fact that the “treasure” is very tasty or very pleasant for him. Then outline the place where you need to look for it. The degree of difficulty of the task depends on the age of the child. You should not hide the "treasure" so that the baby, exhausted, stops looking for it. He must find what is hidden, and the joy of knowing that he was able to do this will be great.

"What is your name"

The host gives the player or players names: Button, Broom, Bubble, etc. After that, he asks the player questions to which he must answer in one word - his game name. If the participant makes a mistake or hesitates, he loses.

"Kuzovok"

For this game, you can take a basket or present it. The players should, as it were, put different items in a basket in turn. Condition: Item names must start with one letter. For example, we put in the basket all the items with “a”: orange, alphabet, watercolor, watermelon, etc.

"What is it?"

For this game you will need a scarf, toys or various small items. The participants in the game take turns blindfolding and trying to determine by touch what kind of object they were given. The objects must be familiar to the child so that he can guess them without much effort. Your task, on the contrary, is to think longer, to pretend that you are at a loss with an answer. The consciousness of one's superiority will greatly delight and amuse the child.

"The sea is worried - time ..."

This game can be played alone with a child or in a company. The driver pronounces the words: “The sea is worried - one, the sea is worried - two, the sea is worried - three ...” And then the task sounds: what figure should the player portray, and in conclusion: “Sea figure, freeze!” After that, the driver should try to make the players laugh. The one who laughs becomes the leader. Children love this game very much: they are happy to invent tasks and depict various figures.

"Guess"

This game distracts the baby from his problems, entertains, and also develops attention and visual memory. An adult shows a child several items (no more than 6-8, depending on age). Then he discreetly removes one or two of them. The child must remember what items are missing. Instead of objects, you can use toys or pictures with images.

"What did I think"

The driver thinks of an object in the room. His task is to describe this item to another player, without naming it, but in a way that is understandable. The player must guess what the driver guessed. After that, they change places.

"Zhmurki"

This game is known to everyone and does not need a detailed description. One of those present (adult or child) is blindfolded and looks for the other, trying to grab him. Usually children like to be in the role of the wanted, because they are amused by the helplessness of adults.

"Snowball"

This game trains memory and develops attention. The players take turns saying any words that come to their mind. The main thing is that these are the names of objects or animals (nouns). When the first player calls a word, for example "house", the second player must first repeat it, and then say his word. The next player repeats all the previous words and calls his own. This continues until someone fails. Then you can start the game over.

"Magic Words"

An adult acts as a driver who gives simple commands to other players: “Please raise your hands! Get up on your toes, please!” The players must repeat his commands, but on the condition that they sound with the word "please." Whoever makes a mistake is out of the game.
You can come up with games with improvised means.
If there is a hoop in the house, compete with the child who can crawl through it faster or jump in it from wall to wall.
Use a children's jump rope and play horse. The kid will gladly "harness" dad and run around the apartment, holding on to the "reins".
If there is a ball, you can play football. In order not to break the dishes, change the conditions of the game: blindfolded, you need to make one hit on the ball. This will not be an easy task, because first the player is blindfolded, then they circle him in one place, and only after that he is given the opportunity to find the ball and hit it. But I didn’t find it - I lost!
You can arrange a competition with skittles. For example, who will collect them faster blindfolded. Or knock them out with a small ball - who will bring down more.
Interesting competition games can also be arranged with other items: tennis balls, toys, balloons, pencils, ropes, etc.
If at the most crucial moment you, unfortunately, cannot remember a single game or joke, try to invent them, because everything ingenious is very simple!
For example, invite the child to go for a walk and arrange a competition “Who will get dressed faster” or “Who will run to the hallway faster”. You can organize the game "Dress me." Let the child dress you for a walk, and you dress him. You have to play the role of an inept child and put on everything wrong. Let the baby laugh at you, the main thing is to calm him down, relieve nervous tension.

Remember, even the best game should not be long, only then it will interest and amuse the child.

Choose games that match the time of day. Before going to bed - calm, quiet; after sleep - more noisy and mobile.

Play with your child willingly. If you only pretend that you are playing, and your head is busy with other things, he will immediately understand this, because children are very sensitive to falsehood.

Kid draws

A capricious baby can be distracted by an offer to draw together. Indeed, at the age of 1 to 5 years, all children love this activity very much. It contributes to the mental and creative development of the child, accustoms him to independence.
Invite your child to draw with pencils, felt-tip pens, paints, inks. Put a large sheet of paper in front of him and draw something yourself. I'm sure he won't resist and will start drawing after you. In no case do not treat his art condescendingly-mockingly, cheer and praise him. And he will be interested in this interesting business.

If you, dear parents, really want to help your baby get rid of whims, look at the world through his eyes more often to understand how he sees his family, you, himself. Many of the unresolved problems will become more understandable, and you will get rid of the difficulties in parenting.