Tips for a young mother: how not to go crazy while sitting at home. "How not to go crazy working from home": Tips for creative people
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AMYS USCHUJCHB: [email protected]The human mind is a repository of knowledge, experiences that have happened over many lifetimes. It can be compared to a computer with millions of memories. Scientists say that the mind accumulates millions of bits of information per second, and without the participation of the person himself.
Even when you are asleep, the mind continues to process memories. You may not remember it when you wake up in the morning, but being under hypnosis you can revive in your memory the experiences that happened in this life and those that ...
The mind is like a magnet, it attracts and repels, and the nature of its attraction and repulsion can be set by you. If you watch the thoughts that come into your mind, you will notice that they are in the nature of those internal dialogues that you usually encourage in yourself. The mind attracts those thoughts that correspond to its habitual activity. But if you consciously make a choice for some time, using the power of intention, then soon the mind will begin to choose ...
Claude Steiner improved the concept of “life scenario” by Eric Berne, which made it possible to analyze and understand what are the reasons for the fact that a certain set of life difficulties is repeated in our lives over and over again.
He paid much attention to the analysis of those circumstances and life attitudes, under the influence of which the formation of one or another variant of a life scenario takes place. Conventionally, he divided them into three large groups. The presence of appropriate "initial training" in childhood ...
I glided down the snow-covered road on my belly, without a sled. On both sides of the road were huge rocks and dense forest. The road was very hilly and winding, and I was moving at a decent speed, fearing that at any moment I could crash into a rock or a tree.
Then I said to myself: "This is a dream, nothing will happen to me, even if I crash, why don't I go faster?" I accelerated to breakneck speed on this dangerous road, only to feel control of myself. I...
Answer the statements “yes” or “no”.
1. The child loves to color the coloring pictures.
2. A child almost never solves puzzles in toddler magazines on his own.
3. The child often doubts the veracity of the tale and requires proof.
4. The child reacts subtly to smells, his sense of smell is well developed.
5. The child prefers games that require well-developed mental functions (memory, checkers).
6. The child prefers plot ...
Often, a psychologist has to hear from various people about the desire to change something in their lives or qualitatively change their lives. Many, it turns out, are simply powerless in trying to get out of the vicious circle of their habits, which prevent them from feeling the fullness and joy of life.
Moreover, problems can be focused in different areas of life: love, career, money, health. Trying to look for a solution to the problem only in the outside world, a person is mistaken, as he is mistaken, blaming only himself, nothing comes of it.
Hello. My problem is preventing me from living. By nature, I am a leader, I don’t know why, but I always strive to be the first, the best, the ideal. Even when I wash the floor at home, I fight to a perfect shine. Question: WHY DO I DO THIS!? After all, if something fails, I fall into a long and deep depression. And the more serious the essence of the matter (for example, work) - the worse I experience the loss.
And I also “save” my defeats in my memory. For some reason, all good things are forgotten, and bad memories gnaw at me throughout my life. I...
Life is complicated. She is changeable and unpredictable. There are no ideal circumstances. And if we wait for the perfect moment, it will never come. Therefore, one should not wait for the ideal, but be able to make the best use of what is here and now.
Admittedly, there are a huge number of things that you cannot change. At least because they have already happened. You are already where you are. You are already surrounded by the people you are surrounded by. You already have the character that...
"How Not to Go Crazy Working from Home, and 103 More Tips for Creative People." It was written by the bestselling author of "1 Page a Day", artist and writer Adam Kurtz. The Village publishes excerpts from a new book.
How to (try to) overcome creative fears
Determine what you are afraid of. Understand that fear does not make you weaker, it confirms that you are also human. Look your fear in the eye. What is your problem? Formulate it so that a solution can be found.
"I can't do it." This is probably the main fear, but it is the easiest to overcome. Why do you think you can't do it if you haven't tried it yet? Might be worth a try?
"Nobody cares". We are so deeply immersed in our business that we forgot about people who do completely different things - the garbage that we do every day seems new and beautiful to them.
"It's not perfect." It's hard to launch a project that seems imperfect, but it's not just that perfection doesn't exist. What seems perfect to you now will one day turn into “pooh” because your skill will grow. In general, you need to do everything as best as possible, and then just shut up and give the result to people - they will like it.
“I'm too...” But we understand perfectly well: if you are not suitable for one project, this does not mean that you will not be an ideal candidate for another. Let your work speak for itself.
"What's the point?" Remember, we do what we do, pave our way, because we have an inner need to interact with other people. If you forget about the meaning of your work and you are overcome by discouragement, give yourself some time to recover, and you will soon be as good as new.
Laugh. If all other methods have not helped, you can defeat fear with the help of a sense of humor. Sometimes laughter, like tears, brings great relief.
How not to go crazy working from home
Put on your socks. Just because you don't have to dress doesn't mean you shouldn't dress. Put on socks, and maybe even boots - this will prove (to yourself) that you are thinking about the case.
Buy yourself something. Come up with some reason to leave the house. Grab a coffee, buy a newspaper, or take a walk. It won't switch you, but the distinction should help.
Warm up. It's time to get started. To warm up, answer an email or share something on social media. Make it easy for yourself to start your day: let your home become your office.
Great, let's get started. Time to work. Not in bed, in the office. You can work on the couch, but in no case on the bed - set yourself a reasonable framework to keep your sanity.
Take a normal lunch break. Even if it's actually breakfast that you didn't finish with your morning coffee. Sit down for lunch anywhere but at work. You can have lunch with someone else!
Work with someone together. If you can't work in a cafe alone, invite a friend. If you have a large home workshop (or kitchen table), invite a friend over. He, too, can benefit from a change of scenery.
End of the day. Let the end of your working day be special. It may shift, you may have to work longer, but this mental separation of work and rest is very important.
How to stop comparing yourself to others
Recognize that you are comparing. Let's take it for granted that you compare yourself with others and are a little jealous, although you understand everything perfectly. So what? Does it destroy you or just annoy you? Do you see people's success as food for thought, or does it motivate you to take action? Think about it and promise yourself to stop as soon as possible.
Make a list of your talents. She has this, they have that, and what do you have? Keep a list of your professional accomplishments. You can do a lot, you go your own way, you are so cool, you can do it, damn it!
Allow yourself to celebrate your success. Do not envy, but be proud: what you can offer is in demand, sold, received recognition.
Celebrate the success of one of your colleagues with him. Make a pop-up window with congratulations, say a toast, go to the fair organized by him. Support with all your heart - success and joy are contagious. Sincere sharing of joy ensures that you have new ideas. Perhaps this exchange will develop into cooperation.
Do something new. If you know what others are working on, you also know what they are not working on - take advantage of that. Offer the world something that doesn't even exist yet.
Rip out your eyes. If all these methods don't work, stop watching! Stop checking how obsessed you are, your follower count or client lists, take a look inside yourself. What are you currently working on? Everyone wants to show their best side. Strive not only to appear, but also to be better.
Cover:"Mann, Ivanov and Ferber"
I will warn you right away that I am not a supporter of pathos, that a real mother should only think about the child, forgetting about herself.
The fact is that the connection between the child and the mother is not interrupted at the moment of crossing the umbilical cord.
The baby continues to be physically and psychologically dependent on the mother until the age of three (until the so-called "crisis of three years"). He is not yet aware of himself as a separate person. For him, his mother is an extension of himself.
Therefore, if the mother feels bad, or she is irritated, or feels her weakness and helplessness, then this condition is transmitted to the child, manifesting itself in the form of causeless whims, aggression and disobedience.
A child will not be happy if his mother is tired of the monotony and everyday life, if she has accumulated unfulfilled desires.
Therefore, it is vital to organize your activities so that both mother and baby are comfortable.
When we had a baby, then, as in any family, I was faced with a lot of problems related to caring for the baby, daily routine, lack of communication ....
But the psychological problem turned out to be the most difficult:
Like any other modern woman, accustomed to freedom of activity, freedom of movement and freedom of communication, it was very difficult to endure dependence on her child and material dependence on her husband. I won’t lie, there were also breakdowns ...
Yes, it was no longer possible, as before, to suddenly break loose on the weekend ... I had to adapt to the child's daily routine, take a bunch of children's things with me.
Yes, it was not possible to calmly go shopping ... Yes, many hours of heart-to-heart conversations with a friend were reduced .... as the baby constantly demanded attention.
It was impossible even to go to the toilet calmly, because the baby was standing outside the door and crying, and my heart was breaking with pity. We are already 10 months old and have even learned to knock on the door ...
Of course, if mom has helpers, then things are much easier. But after all, the situation is very common when mom is left alone with the child, and dad comes closer to midnight, because now he works for two.
It happened in my family. My mother, lived with us for three days, showed the basics of child care and left because she has a job ..
Previously, when women did not know any other life, except as "home - husband - children", this "non-freedom" was experienced by them quite easily. But now a modern woman can compare how it was BEFORE and how it became AFTER.
It is against this background that the so-called "postpartum depression", "depression of one year" and so on arise.
I didn’t have severe depression, but sometimes I had to be nervous!
This is only later, when a woman becomes older and wiser, an insight comes to her, what is the true meaning of the words "happiness of motherhood" (most often she understands this, becoming a grandmother). But for a young mother, these words sound only like a consolation.
I realized when the baby was 10 months old. I thank my mother-in-law, she helped me understand this! A very good and wise woman!
Among young mothers, there are two opinions.
Some believe that a woman was created by nature in order to give birth and raise children, pass on her knowledge and experience to them so that they grow into good people, as well as support and inspire her husband in his affairs, and create comfort in the house.
Others believe that the main purpose of any person, including women, is to realize themselves, their potential, that any woman should enjoy her work, be a mobile, beautiful and self-confident modern woman.
And, interestingly, the supporters of these opinions argue with each other, each insisting on his point of view, not suspecting that both of them are absolutely right.
The fact is that these two opinions are not opposite!
Nothing (except for an inferiority complex) prevents a modern mother from devoting herself to her child and family, remaining an interesting, attractive woman who does not fall out of the modern rhythm of life and who fulfills herself in creativity.
IN CREATIVITY! Creativity is not only art (music, literature, painting), it is the creation of something new, interesting for you, which captures and entails, gives great satisfaction from the process and, of course, the result. Or do you consider working from 9 to 18 self-realization?
"How can you combine one and the other?"
Motherhood is a great happiness for a woman, he also has a minus, which I spoke about above - this is dependence on a child (a woman does not belong to herself).
If you do not agree to put up with this, then you will look for more and more new ways of interacting with the child, you will constantly think about how to make both - both the child and you - interesting, comfortable, fun.
Motherhood requires concentration of attention, quick decision-making, constant work on oneself, analysis of one's words and actions in relation to the child. All this requires additional mental resources. The brain, forced to perceive previously unknown information, begins to work hard, which leads to massive cell renewal. Nature has provided for everything!
Take a closer look at your baby, watch him. You will discover the meaning of things that you did not understand before. You will begin to understand people better, because you will see on the example of your child where complexes, habits, addictions come from (yes, yes, from childhood!). And if you have a son, you will understand men better.
You will understand what a HUGE role a mother plays in a person's life. How huge? Now it will become clear to you.
According to research by scientists, a child in the first 3 years of his life receives 70% of all the information that he will receive in his entire life. And this information goes straight to the subconscious.
What information would you like to write into your child's subconscious? Or maybe you want to entrust it to other people? Grandmother, kindergarten teacher, nanny?
Why do you think Nature entrusted the birth and upbringing of a person to a woman? Mom, like no one else, intuitively feels her baby (after all, he still cannot accurately express in words what he wants), the mother reacts subtly to the slightest changes in his behavior, and can take action in time, without waiting until it is too late and it will not be possible or change.
The psyche of the child is very mobile, he easily perceives new information. Each of your words will forever be "imprinted" in his subconscious and will influence his future life.
In the first three years, the foundation of the personality, the character of a person is laid, the direction and pace of its development are set. Then this foundation is only "overgrown" with knowledge and life experience.
If a child lacked something in early childhood, he will strive to make up for it at a later age. For example, if the baby did not have enough maternal love and affection, he is likely to begin an early sexual life.
Therefore, the mother has a huge responsibility!
Dear, the best in the world, mom! In order not to sink, not to become stupid from the routine, dissatisfaction and feeling of emptiness, but to fulfill yourself in the full sense of the word, approach motherhood and forced restriction of freedom CREATIVELY!
Don't blindly follow patterns, but invent something new based on them! Then you will never have the question "What to do with a child?".
You can come up with an infinite number of educational games, taking into account the characteristics of your child, weave elements of education and upbringing into them (if you don’t know where to start, read the section of my articles Learning by playing, and then everything will go like clockwork).
You have a huge life experience behind you, knowledge and skills that you can pass on to your baby. Do not be afraid that it is too early to give your child some knowledge. When the baby begins to be interested in something, then it's time!
For example, children already at the age of one begin to be interested in symbols and signs, so why not introduce them to letters, numbers, geometric shapes? For him, these are the same items as toys, cubes, balls. Of course, you should not expect that the baby will learn to read at this age. Although he will recognize some words by their style (just like he recognizes what is drawn in the picture).
Create fairy tales for kids! Yes, think for yourself! Let your child be the main character of these fairy tales, tell us how he gets into different stories, how he gets out of them, fantasize together! This gives a very strong educational effect.
Together with your child, build the house you've always dreamed of but couldn't afford using the building blocks.
You can cut out of paper or mold the heroes of fairy tales from plasticine and play a real performance.
What else can you show your creativity in? Maybe you like to draw, sing, knit, play musical instruments?
Get your day right!
Do not deny yourself daytime sleep. Sleep during the day with your baby. Don't care about household chores! Make them when the baby wakes up, or when your husband comes home from work. Even a half-hour sleep restores strength, and you will have time to do a lot more things than if you didn’t sleep at all.
Rest is a change of activity. Get yourself some hobby. Reading the classics, aerobics at home (restore your figure at the same time), music, creating your own website (this is my hobby). Let this business switch you to a new activity and thereby give psychological relief. Indulge in your hobbies from time to time when you feel the need to.
3.Communication.
If there are no living people nearby, then communicate at least via the Internet. In women's forums or in forums of interest (do you have a profession or a hobby?).
4. Go free.
I will not hide, I am also a person, and I do not always withstand the household routine. In such cases, I just leave my husband and son alone with each other, and go outside for a quick walk. Walking at a fast pace relieves the accumulated stress. Thoughts are organized, mood rises. An hour of such walking and you are already starting to miss your baby. Checked!
5. Involve your child in household chores.
It is very interesting for young children to do feasible adult work, they perceive it as a game and confirmation of their adulthood.
It’s a pity that some parents kill this desire to help mom and dad with the housework in the baby with the words “Go play, don’t get in your way!”, Or “Give it to me, everything falls out of your hands!”
Yes, first you have to finish and redo everything for the baby. But then - beauty!
Do not do for the child what he wants to do for himself! Let him study, fill bumps, rejoice in success. Do not deprive him of this joy!
All that is required of you is to support the baby in failures and praise for successes.
6. Combine things.
For example, while you are washing the dishes, you can sing children's songs or recite poems to your baby.
7. Get rid of the inferiority complex.
Unfortunately, in Russian society there is a stereotype that if a woman is a housewife, then she is stupid, if she does not work, then she is a freeloader.
And, to be honest, this stereotype affects even the most persistent mothers. It just annoys someone, but for someone it lowers self-esteem to the level of a plinth.
Let's make a reservation right away, a mother sitting at home with a baby is not only a housewife! She performs the functions of a psychologist, educator, teacher, pediatrician, economist, supply manager, not to mention working specialties (cook, laundress, cleaner, dishwasher, dressmaker, and so on).
Calculate how much time, money and nerves you have saved for all the time spent with your child at home.
The crisis left many people without work. Becoming in the employment center, and receiving benefits, of course, you can live for some time, and if you had a good official salary, then you can live quite decently. But what to do with the resulting time? How not to go crazy from forced idleness and not to drive those around you who were lucky enough to be with you during this difficult period?
If you are really lucky with both severance pay and registration with the employment center, then you can plan a vacation. Consider this a well-deserved break from work, after which you will return to work. And at the same time, while relaxing, think about where you would like to go to work and what to do in the near future. Moreover, having rested and gaining strength, it will be easier for you to look for a job.
Rules for the time of monotony
In order not to get depressed from the monotony of days spent at home, remember a few rules.
- New job
If you are already looking for a job, then approach the job search as if it were a job. Namely, do a search every weekday, buy newspapers, browse websites, send out resumes, go to the employment center and be interested in the vacancies that have appeared there.
- Housework
Make the most of your time off by taking care of household chores that you've been putting off for a long time, like repairs, or visiting doctors that you never have enough time for, like the dentist. Do not spare money, they will still disperse somewhere, but diseases will remain. Moreover, you are not going to sit at home forever, you will soon earn more.
- Your hobby
Think about what hobby could be not only pleasant for you, but also bring income? Perhaps you are good at knitting or sewing, or maybe you are a jack of all trades and now you could fix something for your housemates for money. Do not give up new skills and abilities, especially since the employment center will probably offer you to take some training courses. When else will you be taught something new, and even at the expense of the state?
- Daily regime
Do not neglect the daily routine. No matter how trite this advice sounds, I know firsthand how difficult it is to get involved in work from 9 to 18, if lately I have been accustomed to sleeping until noon. Moreover, your family will also not appreciate your midnight vigils when they get up early for work. It is better not to fall out of the usual mode of life, and even better to supplement it with such useful things as morning exercises or jogging, especially since you now have plenty of time for this.
Handmade - a hobby that generates income
If earlier hand-made things were more of a way of self-expression, now it is increasingly a good way to earn extra income. And sometimes the main one. The creators of things and accessories in the style of hand-made are united on specialized sites and communities in social networks, where they offer their works (to call them goods, as it does not turn out the language) for sale.
For a beginner creator who does not have money for promotion, this is a very good option - without spending money on your own website, sell through a page on a social network or join a site where others sell. The main thing is to take high-quality pictures of your products and decide on their price. Sometimes it is very difficult to put a price on something that has a piece of soul invested in it.
But here you need to include the practical side of the brain and add at least 50% to the cost of materials, depending on the complexity of the work and the time spent on its manufacture. The price of knitwear, for example, is equal to twice the cost of the material. But this formula is by no means universal for all products.
What else belongs to the category of hand-made and what is now popular?
- clothing
Basically, these are knitted, woven, embroidered or hand-painted things. Hand-made shoes are less common, more often it is just a mass-produced product with an original pattern. A popular trend is the author's tie.
- Accessories
First of all, these are badges made from a wide variety of materials from polymer and ordinary clay to lacquered wood and metal. Designer bags in the style of hand-made are no less popular. Among them there are the simplest - fabric, painted or embroidered in accordance with the owner's imagination, and complex, unusual styles, sizes and colors, so that you can immediately see - no one else has such a bag. In addition to women's designer bags, hand-made laptop cases and various cases for phones and iPods have become a popular trend.
- Bijouterie
Bijouterie has always occupied a separate place in hand-made products. The variety of earrings, rings, beads and bracelets does not hold back the imagination of their creators. Wood, bronze, cupronickel, silver, stones from ordinary to semi-precious, shells, and everything that comes to hand is used in the manufacture of jewelry. There are even several directions that have been known for many years, such as filigree - weaving from thin metal plates and wires.
- Present
The direction of hand-made gifts, which came to us from the west, is only gaining momentum, where the best gift has long been considered not a book, but hand-made things. A little imagination and material turn into the most beautiful postcards, unique teddy bears and the cutest hearts.
- Furniture
The most expensive hand-made direction is furniture. This is if you do it completely with your own hands. Moreover, in addition to manufacturing costs, you will also need certain knowledge for the manufacture of furniture. A simpler and cheaper option is furniture decoration, which completely transforms its appearance, and sometimes can change the purpose of a piece of furniture.
I think for the first time you will have enough to think about, but if this seems not enough to you, write down your thoughts and publish them here. I also began to publish various notes on Depils "e during the period of a protracted search for myself. Good luck to everyone!