Soon you will be a grandmother. This is an important event, and it is necessary to properly prepare for it so that your new role becomes a source of joy for you and does not spoil your life and relationships with your children. Why might this happen? The reasons may be different, and one of them is that you and your children have different ideas about what a "grandmother" is and what obligations this title imposes.

In our country, unlike Western countries, it so happened that parents help their children almost until their retirement, sincerely considering it their duty. It happens that children do not refuse this, and sometimes they even reproach their parents for having "abandoned" them and left them to the mercy of fate. This attitude is automatically transferred to everything, including grandchildren, when adult children begin to shift their own responsibilities to their parents, motivating this by the fact that grandparents SHOULD take part in caring for a grandchild. And if they do not do this or do, in their opinion, not enough, the children begin to take offense, reproach their parents, and those, driven by a sense of guilt, take on so much that they can, turning into a free nanny or housekeeper, generally replace the grandchildren of their parents and sacrifice your whole life to the egoism of your daughter or son.

However, the grandmother did not make any decisions, but was simply confronted with the fact that she would have a grandson. (Of course, not on the condition that she asked her grandson and promised to babysit him, although even then the decision was still not made by her). But your grandson is not your child, he has parents, they are already adults, it was their decision and their responsibility.

And what you will do depends entirely on your desire, on what you want and what you think is right. If you are firmly convinced of this, you will never become a victim of manipulation by your children and will be able to calmly and firmly defend your point of view.

In addition, do not forget that if you do not take on unnecessary responsibility, but send it to the address, that is, your grandson's parents, this will be useful to everyone. Why? Your benefit is clear. You will not have to sacrifice your life, you will not suffer from accusations and unjustified feelings of guilt. Your grandchildren need, first of all, their parents and must clearly understand who their mom and dad are. Otherwise, they may feel abandoned, suffer from this, they will have confused ideas about what a family is, and this can greatly harm them later, when they themselves become adults and start their own families. It will be useful for your children in order to learn to be real adults, independent, self-reliant, to be able to rely on themselves and be responsible for their decisions and actions.

So, having accepted this position, let's see what steps you will need to take in order to maintain it.

Step one

The first, and most important, step is to clearly define how YOU see your role as a grandmother. Think about how you want to be involved with your grandson. The more you define this for yourself, the easier it will be for you later.

An important task in this case is not to become a victim of a new situation. Decide how much time you are willing to devote to your new role, how many times a week or month to sit with your child, how many hours you are able to do this. At the same time, take into account your employment, health status, family situation. Of course, you will have to sacrifice some parts of your life in order to make time for a new role, and it is very important to do this in such a way that they do not suffer much, and if possible, do not suffer at all. The task is difficult, but solvable. Think about which of your current activities brings you the least benefit and which will be easier to give up. Everyone knows how much time it takes to watch TV series or talk on the phone, go shopping and weed the beds. Think about how important these activities are to you and whether they are worth sacrificing for the sake of communicating with your grandson. At the same time, rely on your opinion and do not listen to others - this is your life, and the most important thing is that you feel comfortable in it.

There are more important things in life that are highly undesirable to sacrifice. These are health, work and communication with her husband. A husband may feel abandoned if you disappear all the time in the family of your son or daughter, and he will stay at home. (Here, one of the ways out can be your joint participation in the upbringing of your grandchildren - he is also their grandfather, so you will spend time together and give yourself and your grandchildren even more pleasure). It is always dangerous to sacrifice work - grandchildren will grow up, they will no longer need your help and, leaving work for them, then you risk remaining in the void. About health, I think, you can not explain - among other things, having overstrained yourself, instead of supporting your children, you risk becoming a burden to them.

Think about what kind of help in raising a grandchild you like best, which suits you best. Someone may like to walk with a child in a forest or a park, someone may like to take him to various classes or to museums and theaters, and someone may simply take him home and play with him in his free time from household chores. There are other ways to get involved in childcare - think about which one will give you the most pleasure and not become a boring burden.

What you get in the end is a picture based only on your desires. Now you need to correct it in terms of correctness. Think about how right you think such a contribution to the care and upbringing of your grandson. Remember your parenting experience, how your parents helped you. Take into account the good decisions and mistakes that were made back then. And be sure to coordinate your position with your husband. All of the above applies to him. He will also have to take on a new role, no less important than yours (although for some reason people in our country are used to counting less on grandfathers and less involving them in the upbringing of their grandchildren). He should think about how he sees his position and how much he agrees with yours. And it will be best if your vision becomes common and suitable for both of you.

The most important thing here is not to go to extremes. At the level of desires, you may want, for example, to give yourself completely to the child, to take on all the responsibilities of caring for him, or, on the contrary, to isolate yourself completely, to sacrifice nothing, not to limit yourself in anything, and not to participate in anything. Of course, you have every right to any desires, but from the point of view of reason, one can hardly recognize them as fair.

So far, it was only about how not to make the role of a grandmother a burden for yourself. But there is another, no less important aspect. Do not forget that grandmothers (and grandfathers, of course, too) are very necessary and important for their grandchildren. Parents are still young, they have a lot of other problems, they often lack the time, patience and wisdom that you already have. The more love and affection the grandchildren receive, the better for them. In addition, do not forget that children bring adults a lot of joy, love, affection, funny and interesting joint adventures, make them feel more alive and young, so in no case should you deprive yourself of communication with grandchildren and that happiness that they can bring to you.

Two stories

Tanya had two grandmothers - Ira and Marina. Grandmother Ira was always ready to help, take care of her granddaughter. She gladly took on various tasks - she walked with Tanya, went on vacation with her, played, read books to her, sang songs. She devoted a lot of time to her granddaughter, while the girl's parents were studying, taking exams and they did not have time for a child. But at the same time, the grandmother did not forget about her other affairs and duties. She took care of her husband, youngest daughter and work. When her daughter suggested that she retire to stay at home with her granddaughter instead of a nanny, she refused, despite all the persuasion and the offer of money for services. She valued her work and did not want to sacrifice it for the convenience of her daughter. In addition, she did not consider it right to enter into a financial relationship with her daughter and take on all her responsibility for the child. The daughter was upset, but made this decision quite calmly.

Grandmother Marina, despite the fact that she did not work, took part in the upbringing of the child extremely rarely, came to sit with her a couple of times a year, did not want to play or walk with her. She had her own life, she was very busy, she was bored with a small child. Once a year, she took her granddaughter with her to the village for a month, where the main occupation was weeding the beds. Of course, she took care of the girl as best she could, but she felt unhappy, lonely, and every time she left for the village, as if she were going to hard labor.

Many years later. Tanya became an adult, she had her own family and a child. Grandmother Ira still works with pleasure, grandmother Marina stays at home, both of them are already very elderly women. Grandmother Ira is surrounded by a loving family, her daughters are grateful for her help and support, her granddaughter loves her very much, often calls her, comes to visit, invites her to her place, asks her to take a walk and play with her great-grandson. Grandmother Marina for her is, in general, a stranger, she sometimes comes to her, but without any desire, rather out of a sense of duty. For the same now, the granddaughter has become the main interest, her priorities have changed, her friends have fled, she sees her son very rarely. She wants to communicate, frequent meetings, but nothing can be changed: she did not want to be important and necessary for her granddaughter, to love her and take care of her when she needed it. The granddaughter has grown up, her worldview has developed, and it is unlikely that Grandma Marina will ever be able to become her close friend.

As you can see, different conclusions can be drawn from this story. It is quite possible to combine reasonable care for grandchildren with good relationships and make it a useful and joyful part of your life. Grandmother Ira turned out to be wiser, she was able to successfully combine different aspects of her life and enjoy them, as well as build and maintain good relationships. Grandmother Marina, despite her firm position, remained in complete emptiness at the end of her life, since her selfishness and unwillingness to build relationships on time played a cruel joke on her.

Therefore, when you build your position, do not forget that your priorities may change, and it is important not to become a victim of your own egoism yourself. You need to strike the right balance between your current and future interests. Even if the role of a grandmother is not very attractive to you now, think about the fact that by refusing it, you can greatly deprive your grandchildren and yourself.

step two

When you adjust your desires and attitudes, you will see the perfect picture of yourself as a grandmother. This is what you want and what you think is right. But now it is important to compare it with the picture that exists in the minds of your children. And this is the second very important step. A lot depends on how you manage to do this, and first of all - your future relationship. Ask the children how they see your role in raising their child. Try to learn more from them, to make their vision as clear and understandable as possible for yourself. Do not rush to answer - now you need to think about the differences and ideas that you learned about, compare them and decide which of what the children want from you suits you and which does not, what you are ready to give in, sacrifice their interests, and in what - no. For example, they want the child to live with you all week, and at the weekend they would take him to their place, or vice versa. Think about how much you share this point of view, whether you think it is correct and why. Imagine if it will be convenient for you and useful for your grandson and his parents. And only then make a decision on controversial issues.

Step Three

Once a decision has been made, discussing it with your children is the third step. Now you tell them how you see your role as a grandmother, what you are ready to take on, what you want to do, what to participate in and what not. It is good if your position is accepted immediately and without objection, but this does not mean that you should forget about it. It happens that at first you will be asked one thing, then another, then a third, then they will begin to be offended that you do not take on the fourth, and then they will blame you for not doing the fifth. Therefore, the more clearly you formulate your position and the better you remember it, the easier it will be for you to keep it.

And don't be intimidated: these tips may look complicated, but it's actually quite simple, and you'll do just fine.

In conclusion, I want to once again remind you of the main steps. The most important thing is to clearly define your position. The second is to harmonize it with reality as much as possible. The third is to learn to defend it calmly and constructively. And do not be afraid to say "no" - you always have every right to do so. And most importantly - do not forget about the need to maintain the right balance. You should not get carried away with excessive self-sacrifice, but it is also wrong to completely distance yourself and deprive yourself of communication with your grandchildren: later you may regret it very much.

How to behave so as not to spoil the relationship?

• State your position firmly but calmly. Do not shout, do not scold children, do not quarrel with them. It is much better to say: "I really sympathize with you, but, unfortunately, I can’t help you now, because ...".
• Always clearly justify your refusal. The clearer your position is, the less reason for resentment.
• Be flexible, but within reason. Sometimes circumstances are such that it is worth giving up something and making concessions.
• Don't be afraid of dissatisfaction. No one likes to be told "no", but it's not that hard to get over. Wait a few days, most likely the children will puff up a little, and then they will calm down and accept your position.
• If you see that the offense has dragged on for too long, go towards the children. This does not mean that you must necessarily agree, you just need to explain once again why you think so and not otherwise. Perhaps they didn’t understand you very well and it’s worth explaining more clearly and recalling your rights and their obligations to the child.
• Do not forget about respect for you, as an important part of any relationship. Your children may be offended by you, but they will respect you much more if they see that you have your own position, your own life, you do not allow yourself to be manipulated, but you can sometimes meet halfway. They will appreciate it much more than complete conciliation, reliability and connivance, or rigidity, obstinacy and an unconditional "no" on any occasion.
• If you make any promises - do not refuse them. You did not decide to give birth to a child and should not be responsible for it, but you are obliged to be responsible for your promises.

Discussion

In March I will become a grandmother. .. guys live separately, on their own. They don't ask for money. They have a dog, a French bulldog. Nice girl. Rocket. Very smart. . Sometimes they leave her with us. But they raised themselves. And the poo was removed and they walk, and they go to the doctors, and they get up at night to take a walk if anything. This is what I .... The child is of course more complicated. But care and responsibility they have already studied. Like your comfort zone. What to do to make it easier.
My husband and I live a very active life: concerts, clubs, companies, resorts, friends, trips. If there is a need I will help. But not to the detriment of his family.

Yesterday I became a grandmother. Pants full of joy. I haven’t thought about participation in upbringing yet, I think about traditions, I also need money for this.

01/17/2018 03:59:32, Nazimgul

good article, I really liked it. All on the shelves.

I don't even want to read. After the age of 18, I don’t owe or owe anything to my children, I’m not going to prepare for “becoming a grandmother”, because for me this is not an event (nothing more than becoming someone’s “second cousin”). But sources of joy after a certain There are different ages, but not only that.

11/01/2006 4:00:04 PM, hmm...

Comment on the article "Grandma must, but ... is not obliged"

Laris, as far as I know, is not obliged. Everything is at the discretion of the school. By and large, I don’t think at all that it is too necessary already, but this is my IMHO. At my son’s school, everything is organized by the elders, they have a special group there, like, a theater.

the age of the baby, it must be no younger than 1.5 years; the state of lactation - have signs of involution of the mammary gland been shown for some time already? To check this, the mother needs to part with her baby for a day, for example, leaving him with his grandmother or father. If after a day there is no painful filling of the breast, it does not become dense and hot, then the woman is ready for weaning. If, after twelve hours, mommy is ready to run to the child so that he ...

And the org is NOT OBLIGED to reimburse the participant at his own expense for the inconsistency of the article, despite the fact that he posted it in the annex, and the article is not defective. And the unwillingness of the participant to meet halfway with the words "I am not obliged" - speaks not in favor of the participant.

Tell me, maybe someone knows. Is the class teacher obliged to go on excursions with the children or is it a gesture of goodwill? of course not if the excursion is from the school - one of the teachers is going, but not necessarily the class of hands 10/24/2015 09:39:52, Dezi.

Are parents obligated to teach school subjects? Or hire tutors at the request of school teachers? 4. Basic general education is compulsory. Parents or persons replacing them ensure that children receive basic general education.

"Affectionate executioners." Strangers know better how to raise your child. "In the last issue [link-1], in an interview with our correspondent, the head of the All-Russian Parental Resistance movement, Maria MAMIKONYAN, a member of the council under the Commissioner for Children's Rights of the Russian Federation, spoke about the activities of a public organization of parents that opposes supporters of the idea of ​​imposing on us an alien to our traditions, of our domestic upbringing, juvenile justice in the Western version and ...

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When I gave birth to my eldest daughter Lyubasha, at that time I was an editor and producer in the Hero of the Day program on NTV. I had not yet worked as a host, and the responsibility was much less, so I safely went on maternity leave, where I sat for a year and a half. At first, my mother came to us - she lived in another city - and began to help. But any grandmother begins to establish some order of her own, and we parted with her very quickly. I was young and completely inexperienced, so my mother arranged for me a daily...

Today I was in court in order to get a stamp on the entry into force of the decision and a writ of execution ... 45 minutes they were looking for my case, while they were rummaging through all the piles, it turned out that soup arrived yesterday, ordered 5 copies of the court decision! He said that he was going to change jobs, let there be spare ones ... : / He asked for my details for transferring alimony, he was going to provide them himself and the decision to his accounting department for payments ... And they told me that I need to take a writ of execution, go to the bailiffs , there...

I don't feel like I'm obligated to help anyone at all. It doesn’t matter whose relatives are mine or my husband’s. Do you definitely want to communicate with her in order to quarrel even more?

But he is unlikely to appoint, there will certainly be why this money cannot be taken from an orphan. Therefore, breathe evenly and do nothing. BUT I can’t sell with debts even at the age of 18, I have to pay.

[link-1] The Russian family as a social institution is now going through hard times. According to the Ministry of Social Development, 80% of children in orphanages end up there if they have parents or relatives who have abandoned their children. And therefore, special attention is drawn to cases when a safe and viable family is forcibly broken up, as happened in the village of Morozovo, Novosibirsk Region. On August 14, 2012, guardianship officers took 7-year-old Fatima from the Borisevich family and...

This book on child health is intended primarily for parents, as well as all members of the family in which children grow up. N. Parygina is a writer, author of many books, including books for children and about children. The writer devoted several books to the topic of children's and adults' health. The author hopes that this book will help parents raise physically and morally healthy children who will become happy and worthy citizens of Russia. Part one Your baby A welcome baby Modern doctors...

He raised me, I called him dad, and I owe him a lot. Desirable, but not required. Everyone goes to college, only the effect is different - someone is an excellent student, and someone is a "loser".

When I was little, my mother often said to friends and acquaintances: "I believe my daughter, she never lies to me! If she said something, then it is so!" I do not know whether it was intentional or accidental, but often she said this phrase in my presence. And I was overwhelmed with a sense of pride ... and responsibility ... and I did not lie. I just couldn’t, because my mother BELIEVE me!!! A simple pedagogical trick, but it worked! I still don’t know if my mother came up with it or read it somewhere. And I always thought that with my...

having a salary of about 26,000 rubles, rent an apartment, hire a nanny, etc. My husband doesn't give me a dime. Tell me maybe I don’t understand something in my life. Our nanny costs about 18,000. What should we live on then?

With the beginning of May, I always start to cry. I became sentimental, the footage of the chronicle of the Second World War causes a lump in my throat. War songs - a fit of sobs. I can't stop crying at all while "Katyusha" or "Dark Night" or "Goodbye boys" are playing. And since from 2 to 10 they sound everywhere, my emotions do not get out of the sphere of pride and bitterness. Tears for our past, for the great things that our grandfathers could do. It was brought up then, in our childhood, for years. Movies, songs, memories...

But the situations are different for everyone ... and I would definitely tell my daughter, she dreams of her sister, she just sleeps and sees her. In short, my husband and I immediately agreed that we would not oblige her in any way to help us with the children - only at her request.

My eldest goes to school, which, although it is the closest to our house, but we are not officially "assigned" to it, we were "not obliged" to take us there, and it was very difficult to get there. But our headmistress accepts brothers and sisters without fail.

As for development, you are right - AT THE TIME of coming into your family, an adopted child will most likely (but not necessarily) be not as developed as their peers. And besides, I don't have to have tender feelings for all the children of the world, do I?

Why do we need grandmothers? How often do we ask this question? And do we ask at all? Most likely no. After all, this is understandable. Grandmothers are needed to help. Help raise grandchildren, help financially, help psychologically. Help, help... But it's not just about that. Grandmothers keep us all, lead us into the future. This is about our grandmothers. Although not only about them.

And why do we need grandmothers ... whales? Did you know that killer whales also have grandmothers? Yes, I have. These are elderly representatives of the species who take care of the young, serve as guides for young killer whales in the depths of the ocean, help and teach them to look for food. And the most interesting thing is that elderly females who do not leave their families after the cessation of reproduction, that is, grandmothers, exist in only three species of mammals. These are killer whales, pilot whales, which represent the dolphin family, as well as you and me.

And this whole story about grandmothers is subject to one “grandma hypothesis”, which explains why grandmothers are needed at all. And according to this hypothesis, there is a reason why older ladies continue their life path. Grandmothers help their daughters to educate and raise the younger generation. And this help gives and even increases the chance to preserve genes and pass them on to future generations. And there are facts that support this hypothesis. They were found in the study of the African population of aborigines who were stuck in the primitive communal system.

Watching killer whales, Laurent Brent and his team of oceanologists from the British University at Exeter got the same results. Scientists spoke about their research, and later about why grandmothers are needed. In the course of observations, each conditional family of killer whales was divided into three groups: females matured for breeding, mature males and their elderly mothers. And each of these groups constantly plows the Pacific Ocean, being in search of food.

And these searches give us an idea of ​​the true seniority in the group, when killer whales march in formation, in which the most experienced, and therefore authoritative, members of the group occupy the leading positions. And such leaders during the search for food became elderly killer whales. And so they answered the question why grandmothers are needed. After all, they taught the younger, and therefore less experienced members of the group to search for fish, passed on their hunting skills to them. And this will give the younger generation a good chance of survival, and hence the further transfer of the genome.

And it is curious that the sons and grandchildren of elderly killer whales were the primary wards, and not their daughters and granddaughters. There is also a scientific explanation for this fact. Killer whales intuitively feel that not the females, but the stronger sex has a much greater chance that they will be able to pass on their genes to the next generation.

But there is another explanation for this phenomenon. And it again tells us why whale grandmothers are needed. A few years ago, the aforementioned group of oceanologists made an interesting conclusion based on the available data: it turns out that male killer whales are literally what we call "mama's sons." And therefore, deprived of constant care from older females, they will not be able to survive. And killer whale grandmothers give them this care just as our grandmothers surrounded us, their grandchildren and granddaughters with care.

And this means that the answer to the question of why grandmothers are needed lay on the very surface. Sometimes we just don't see the obvious. The grandmothers of the whales and the grandmothers of the human world perform the same function: they protect the younger generation, help them survive, teach the mind, pass on their invaluable life experience to the kids. But the magic is that in this way they prolong the life of themselves. They embody themselves in children, literally and figuratively. Take care of grandmothers.

Who should take care of the children while the parents are working, grandmothers or nannies? “A nanny is a professional in the matter of education, like a prostitute in the matter of sex. There must be skill in it, love is not obligatory, ”Alexander Etkind wrote in the book Eros of the Impossible in 1994. Implying that the nanny at some point replaced the grandmother, a much more "natural" candidate for raising children. Now grandmothers are back in our lives. Thanks to the crisis in Russia, they are again sitting with their children. In America, special ones are opening, and for the first time in its history, a grandmother settled in the White House. In the UK, they have just begun to discuss the important role of grandparents in the life of a modern changing family, but they have already found out that children feel better in their presence, and they have appointed special insurance for those who sit with their grandchildren.

I am now writing a comment at my mother-in-law's house - my husband's parents live in New York, and the children see them quite often. I have a wonderful relationship with my mother-in-law, but after the birth of my first son, it was quite difficult. We often clashed on the basis of “but we had to do this” (baths from a series, do not put children in a stroller until they are strong enough, and so on). Over time, they came to an agreement: I realized that some of her advice was not a relic of the past, and she - that many local habits are better than what her practice tells her.

Both my parents, who live in Ukraine, and my husband's parents, who live in New York, are still too young to fully devote themselves to raising their grandchildren, as my grandmother gave herself to in her time. So I only rely on a nanny - you can build a professional relationship with her, ask her to do things the way I see fit, and let the grandmothers stay for the soul, and not for work.

Our grandchildren have grandparents on both sides - there are more of them than grandchildren, so this is a whole platoon. We have two grandchildren, a two-year-old boy and a one-year-old girl. They have a wonderful nanny with a wonderful name Lyuba. But, of course, you still need to help sit with them. On average, we sit with them once a week. And during the holidays, when my children like to go to some islands or to hot countries, our duty lasts days and weeks.

Since the process of teaching grandchildren has not yet begun, the main duty is to entertain them, take them for a walk, and put them to bed. My main duty is to play with them, which I honestly really enjoy. But we are already preparing some books from old stocks, collecting them as such an arsenal, which we are going to use soon.

In my youth, we lived with my wife's parents, and her mother was an inseparable grandmother who constantly watched over our son Alyosha. Including she had to cope with him at those critical moments when, for example, he climbed a tall pine tree in the country. We were usually at work, and did not see all this horror. And she stood under a tree and begged him to get down. So in our case, the grandmother raised her grandson on an equal footing with us, parents, and sometimes to a greater extent. But now the children are trying to live separately, and many have such an opportunity, so grandparents have become coming.

Our nannies have become almost family, but grandmothers are responsible for the most important issues: family education, morality, and so on. In general, grandmothers are children's confessors. Children trust them with more of their secrets than their parents. Now our grandmothers do not come so often, because one lives in one city, the other here, but she has a lot of grandchildren. We always get together on New Year's Eve. As in my childhood, in our family you can’t say anything bad about your grandmother - children begin to boil, protect them: grandmothers are their best friends.

I myself was brought up creatively by my grandmother, because she, like grandfather, was a student of Favorsky (and grandfather was also Grabar), so they opened the whole creative path for me, and at any moment I ran away with any experiences to my grandmother. I think that if the grandmothers did not live far away, my children would also run away to them.

Why a child needs a grandmother: 5 good reasons

Grandmother pampers, grandmother spoils, grandmother does not understand a dog in proper upbringing. Well, yes, well, yes, but then who brought you up so cool? No doubt, the drama circle and the figure skating section are very important, but be kind, find at least a day in your child’s schedule that he can spend with his grandmother. The child will only benefit from this, because the grandmother has something that you cannot give him.

Connection of generations

It is the grandmother who will tell the child about who he is and where he comes from. Because a mother who is busy with work is unlikely to delve into memories of the affairs of bygone days. She may not even know about them. Family memory in our country rarely extends beyond great-grandfathers and great-grandmothers, everything beyond is fog and ancient history.

Attention

Grandma has a lot more time than you. If she has already quietly retired, then she has little to do, and the child does not distract her from anything significant. Therefore, children who often visit their grandmothers receive their dose of attention without any problems. And they no longer need to beat him out of adults with petty emotional blackmail.

Role selection

As a rule, parents are much stricter than grandmothers - they are also responsible! Granny, from their point of view, is overly condoning and generally spoils the whole discipline. And he does it right. No person can walk the line 24/7.

Once in a safe environment where you can show off with minimal risk of getting a pickpocket, the child explores the limits of his influence and tries different social roles. Simply put, if it’s better not to shove on the rampage with your mother and be a good boy, you can test the “God’s punishment” mode with your granny and see what happens.

Relax

The child is your project. With budget, strategies, tactics, planning and crisis management. And for granny, this is a granddaughter, a sweet pie and a baby. She already sent hers, thanks, now it's your turn to bathe. Grandmother will now finally get the pleasure of communicating with the younger generation without all these worries and anxieties. In the sense of pedagogy, the grandmother is more frivolous, communication with the child is entertainment for her, and the child rests with her from the rules and the hopes placed on him.

Good mood

It is not true that character deteriorates with age. It deteriorates only in those who had cholera at the age of 20. And on average, over the years, people, on the contrary, calm down and finally begin to look at the world condescendingly.

Firstly, they are already smart enough not to meet unpleasant people, and secondly, they no longer twitch because of work or the fact that someone there looked askance at them. Thirdly, they are no longer afraid of the future - in fact, everything that could happen has already happened.

This joyful picture is somewhat spoiled by hormonal imbalance and menopause, but in the bottom line, grandmothers are still more positive and are able to distinguish between universal tragedy and everyday life. But mothers - not always.

Text: Olga Lysenko