How to understand that a friend is real? A real friend - what is she

Even if there is a reliable loving man nearby, every woman still needs a close friend. And despite the fact that the nature of the conjugal and friendly union is completely different, there is one similarity - you can build harmonious relationships only by putting your soul into them.

You need to be able to give in, trust and keep secrets, sincerely rejoice at the success of loved ones and always lend a helping hand in difficult times. If you have these qualities, then you can become a real friend.

Bitter truth or sweet lie?

A friend is needed not only for shopping, gossip and idle chatter. The value of female friendship is in the opportunity to hear the truth: about a new hairstyle, a changed make-up, a fur coat that you like, or a fan that has appeared.

A real friend is not afraid to tell the truth in the face in any matter. You may be upset by a categorical opinion from the outside, but at least it will be honest, and in some everyday situations it will save you from mistakes.

Real friend- this is the one who will always tell her sincere opinion and will be able to catch the fine line between your desire to hear a sweet lie or still a bitter truth. There are different situations. For example, suppose you accidentally find out about your friend's husband's infidelity. What to do: to speak or not? Here you have to act intuitively.

On the one hand, the revealed betrayal, although it hurts the heart of your friend, will open up opportunities for her to preserve the family (after all, it is much easier to “know the enemy by sight”) or to save her pride (when there is no desire to fight for a man) - again, everything is individual. In such a situation, any woman who values ​​friendship and sincerely empathizes with her friend's family relationships will not be easy to make a choice. So sometimes sweet lies are very friendly.

In general, speak the truth in those cases when they want to hear it from you, asking for your opinion and asking your advice. For example, do not let your girlfriend buy a dress that does not fit her or dye her hair in a color that is clearly not hers. If we are talking about revealing other people's secrets, it is better to remain silent. Otherwise, you risk losing your friend and ruining her personal happiness.

Tongue behind teeth

The ability to keep secrets and keep a given word is another essential quality of true friends. Believe me, losing trust is easy, but earning it back is much more difficult. And a tarnished reputation will leave an imprint on your relationship with your friend.

Relationships with girlfriend men are taboo

Flirting and any more than companionship with a boyfriend, husband and even a friend's ex-spouse is always a taboo in real friendship. Any woman will regard this as a betrayal, and she will be right. So if you notice that your friend is not even breathing towards your man, you can safely say goodbye to her. Well, do not allow yourself such impudence and meanness.

And in sorrow and in joy

And even if you hear such words only in the registry office, they also concern friendship. You need to be able not only to empathize with your friend in difficult moments, but also to sincerely rejoice in her happiness, even when there is a black streak in your life. And it is not for nothing that they say that friends are known not in sorrow, but in joy. In general, there is no place for envy in friendship.

Understand life is like a carousel. Today your friend flies up, tomorrow - you. And instead of secretly jealous, rejoice at her successes, and support her on the flight down. She, in turn, will reciprocate you. It's much easier to live like that.

Also, don't be afraid to be intrusive when offering help. Perhaps your friend really needs her, but she herself hesitates to ask. If you know you can really help, be persistent and don't be indifferent. And if you cannot significantly influence the situation, support with words and practical advice.

What else should a real friend do (or not do)?

In addition to the basic qualities, there are various little things that affect the strength and sincerity of a friendship. So, a real friend should:

Respect the personal space of a friend, not be jealous of other friends.

Do not overload with your problems, so as not to tire you with eternal whining.

Do not criticize behind the eyes and do not discuss your girlfriend with third parties.

Take an interest in life events, griefs and achievements of a friend.

Trust your secrets, not just ask other people's secrets.

Do not make scandals over trifles, treat each other with understanding.

Women's friendship was, is and will be. It may be rare in crystal form, but it still exists. The main thing is to build it mutually, reciprocating to a friend.

You can't just "take" from friendship, you must certainly "give" in return. Do not select your girlfriends on the principle of "being on top of their background." Look for a friend with interests and outlooks similar to yours. Be ready to share the troubles and double the joy of your friend, give sincere advice and help find a way out of any situation.

A real friend - who is she? There cannot be many real friends, usually no more than three.

The rest are just dots on the map: temporary acquaintances, easy-going buddies, colleagues manipulating your feelings and bored schemers.

Cups of coffee in a cafe, chatting about nothing, borrowed one hundred rubles ... This limits traditional friendly relations.

They will not come to the other end of the city in the middle of the night to tow your car, they will not invite their son to the birthday, they will not call all their acquaintances in search of work for you, they will not tactfully interfere with yours.

They slide along the surface without going down to depth. Is it worth spending the time your true friends are waiting for on such acquaintances?

Most often, real girlfriends appear at school and university. Later - at work and among neighbors - it is much more difficult to find a common interest. And there is a great chance that a colleague is simply manipulating you, and elementary boredom has seized the neighbor.

Even if the years have divorced you from your fellow university students, meeting again will give you something to remember.

True friends tend to have a shared past. They are the so-called "witnesses of life": a storehouse of sentimental memories of your tumultuous adventures.

How do you know if a friend is not real? By gestures, by facial expressions, by words... Even without being specialists in lying, we know with a sixth sense when we are being lied to. Intuition will always tell you: "something is wrong" - you just have to listen to it.

So, if a friend's smile is stretched right up to the teeth of wisdom, she obviously hides a lot.

If she covers herself with her hands during a conversation, turns her knees in the opposite direction, does not look in the eyes and avoids serious topics - take a closer look, and is she who you think she is?

Is your girlfriend a real one?

1. You remember her phone number by heart, because you dialed it 10 years ago, when everyone had home devices. She is yours too (so much so that it bounces off the teeth).

2. You can just call her to chat - for no reason. Or you can ask for urgent help - immediately, right now.

3. She's not lying to you - neither for fun nor for serious reasons. Even for your sake, he doesn't lie. You and her long ago agreed to be frank and decided that there is no happiness in ignorance.

4. She sometimes honestly says what she thinks of your boyfriends, coworkers, and bosses. Sometimes he remains silent until asked - spares. It is important that you are not offended by her for this.

5. She rarely breaks promises. And if it happens, then it does not look like indifference and irresponsibility. She values ​​your friendship.

6. She will never wash your bones behind your back. Even if she talks about you with someone else, it always sounds delicate and non-judgmental. And secret details never surface in other people's circles.

7. You are not ashamed of each other. She trusts you with her secrets and problems and honestly answers questions. She has nothing to hide. You will not hesitate to talk about intimate, and about a visit to the doctor, and about wages.

8. With a real friend, you periodically have tactile (body) contact. This is a true platonic feeling.

Both of you tend to touch each other - hug, pat on the shoulder, straighten your hair, smack on the cheek. Even just sitting next to you, not trying to win back the extra sentiment of space!

9. You are sentimental and consider her to be a loved one. Sometimes you even show excessive concern, trying to control.

10. No matter how different your outlook on life may be, it always takes your side at a crucial moment.... In a family discord, the husband will be wrong, in a working disorder - the boss. And everyone around will turn out to be monsters in her words of support, which you so need to hear.

11. She sees the line beyond which her jokes become offensive to you, and does not cross the line.

She will never make you a laughing stock in a circle of comrades, even if a caustic joke itself asks for the tongue.

12. You have something that only you two understand: secrets, memories, jokes, phrases, nicknames, secret language.

13. Sometimes an outsider cannot understand anything from your dialogue - sheer gibberish. And you understand each other "from one note": "Do you remember how? .." - "Aha, exactly, but he is like that ..." - "That's it! And you to him ... ".

14. If you quarrel, then immediately reconcile. Both of you cannot be mad at each other for long. And this is correct, because a true friend is a great value that cannot be exchanged.

A friend is a close person who is ready to help at any moment, to support not only in words, but also in deeds. Most people cannot imagine their life without friendship. The word "friend" refers to the male sex, and maybe that is why many people believe that the friendship of the stronger sex is much stronger and more loyal than similar relationships between women.

How are things really going? Maybe the opinion of people is wrong and girls still know how to faithfully make friends, help and support their girlfriends?

Representatives of the fair sex are accustomed to trusting their feelings, it is not for nothing that there are legends about female intuition. They often divide their environment into categories: just acquaintances, good friends, girlfriends and best friends. Communication with everyone is at different levels and on different topics.

If a close friend is privy to all the secrets, then problems of a general nature are discussed with a friend. These include household issues, parenting, recreation, the purchase of clothing and food, politics and fashion.

Real female friendship is most often tied between the fairer sex of about the same age. Women do not consider it shameful to pour out their souls to a friend, cry, show their weaknesses. They feel sorry for each other, sincerely sympathize and support in difficult everyday situations.

Their feelings are expressed openly and too emotionally, and from the outside it may seem that the relationship is insincere. But this is not the case. It is through the emotional connection that girlfriends stick together. For them, practical help is often not so important, and they give it only second place.

The guarantee of true friendship: both in joy and in sorrow together

Strong and real female friendship is possible on one condition: women should express their admiration for each other, be able not only to support and be close in difficult moments, but also to rejoice in good luck. Unfortunately, very often successes cause envy, the presence of which can ruin even the closest relationship. A friend is a person without whom life seems less bright and colorful. Communicating with her is easy and simple.

At first glance, such a relationship scheme may seem too simple. But it is the support of a friend that helps to survive all the hardships of life: career problems, failures on the love front, illness, lack of money, quarrels with children and husband, etc.

It is not always easy to understand who is really a real friend, and who communicates with you out of habit or even for profit. Understanding who is, sometimes only comes with time. This is human psychology.

Unfortunately, in our life, you can very often meet with betrayal. It hurts most when the person you considered your friend betrays. And if at a young age we look at such situations easier, then with age they can leave an indelible imprint on the soul. Disappointment comes, and we begin to look at everyone with suspicion and distrust. Betrayal is especially hard on older people.

Women's friendship can be considered a temporary union. Almost all of the fair sex are pragmatic and practical people. Maybe someone will take such qualities for shortcomings, but from the point of view of psychology, sobriety and a rational approach to solving many problems help to cope with difficulties and survive in any conditions.

Girlfriends can even be compared with different countries, for which their own interests are, first of all. Of course, the allies have not prevented anyone yet, but at the same time it makes no sense to demand from them oaths of eternal loyalty and loyalty. The union exists as long as both parties benefit. Can it be the same with women? While it is convenient to be friends, the relationship continues. Any intersection of interests is the reason for the fading of friendship.

Unfortunately, the words and actions of some women are often contradictory. Girlfriends can convince of their loyalty, but such conversations are very rarely confirmed by actions. Such women always act in what suits them, or they deem it necessary, and at the same time they must find a convincing justification for their behavior.

The best friend is the person who has a significant impact on your life. She knows everything about you, gives advice, helps, supports. You trust her as you trust yourself. How not to be mistaken in your choice?

Ideally, girlfriends should have the same social status, that is, be of the same level. The opposite situation will certainly provoke a feeling of envy. In this case, even such mundane things as dining in a restaurant or general shopping can bring a lot of negative emotions. The quantity and quality of the ordered and purchased is determined by the availability of money. Envy will arise at the subconscious level, and it is unlikely that it will be possible to control it.

Beauty and innate charm can negatively affect friendship. For example, on the way of girls, the attention of representatives of the opposite sex may become, which will be turned in one direction. As a result, a less attractive friend runs the risk of developing complexes and eventually ends the relationship that brings her many unpleasant moments.

Your best friend shouldn't criticize you all the time. If this happens, then think about why there is a person nearby who is constantly dissatisfied with you. Her behavior can be triggered by elementary jealousy or bad character, which is unlikely to change.

Don't count on a strong friendship with a woman who has a lot of girlfriends. The only thing that you can get is superficial communication, since she simply does not have enough time for anything else.

And most importantly, remember: true friendship is the test of time!

Women's friendship is a mythical category, although it is sung in many works and songs. Many touching and sad stories are associated with this amazingly rare and in fact unique phenomenon, like female friendship. Even the legendary Coco Chanel said: "My friends, there are no friends in the world." Today, almost a third of the female population agrees with her, but the remaining two-thirds still believe in a wonderful and devoted relationship between the two beauties.
Everyone knows the truth about attracting opposites. Therefore, many girls deliberately choose less attractive, witty and sexy girls as their friends. With such friends, you can always be on top, due to her failures, you can assert yourself and only in you will she see an idol and an example to follow. However, such a choice can be fraught, since every ugly duckling, if desired, can become a swan, which means that the gray shy girl will transform into a bright beauty and overshadow her initially more attractive girlfriend.
Another point is the relationship between women. It's no secret that friendship ends where love for a man begins. It is his muscles, eyes and smile that can overshadow any notions of morality and honesty. Then the friend enters the warpath, choosing personal happiness and abandoning your relationship. The main mistake of a woman in friendship is selflessness and sincerity. We want to help our friends, teach them and give good advice, share things and even men - in general, we raise our competitors.
However, if you look at friendship between women differently and imagine that it still exists, then somewhere in the world there are faithful and honest girls and women who are ready to sacrifice for a friend everything who do not offend her with their lies and deceit, who only admit honesty and openness. Such a friend will tell her face about a failed make-up or the wrong choice of clothes, she will tell you how to act in a given situation and will do it not out of a desire to stand out and rise above her, but out of a Samaritan craving for good.
A sincere friend will not shy away from direct answers, she will always tell the truth, but without sweet bitterness and unpleasant irony when your mistakes amuse her. She will be sincerely sad about the problems of your life and will try to solve them, however, she will do it unobtrusively, without the pathos of Superman and without the required applause. If a friend is honest with you, you will understand this, but it is quite easy to distinguish between false friends. Their craving for advantage, for leadership, an indulgent attitude and constant projection on their lives. It is better for your planet to refuse such satellites, because sooner or later they will find themselves a different orbit. So, not every girlfriend is real, not every gossip is evil, and not every girl is your potential enemy and competitor.