How hard it is to love. Why is love so hard? Find inner peace and become more beautiful

Who is this, your real half, where to meet her, where does she wear it, in the end, and in general, the person you are meeting now, is he exactly your soul mate? These are the questions that often swirl in everyone's head, and it happens that not a single day goes by without these questions. We all know how meaningful everyday life comes after the first, flowery-romantic-enthusiastic period, when relationships become familiar and stable, when the first veil falls from the eyes, then the most risky period for a joint relationship begins.

Why is love so difficult? The fact is that relationships between people are unique in that you are not dealing with something clear and complete. Your companion is not a product that can be bought in a store or selected on a dating site. That is, you can, of course, choose, but your chosen one has his own life, his own habits and preferences, his weaknesses and shortcomings, advantages and his own uniqueness, zest.

Starting a new relationship, we all wait for sheer bliss and pleasure, we expect that we will be in heaven from happiness, that here it is, our right choice, with which all difficulties will finally end, and, finally, the period of long-awaited bliss will come. Yes, falling in love is a period of wearing rose-colored glasses, which over time will inevitably have to be removed, because it is impossible to idealize your chosen one indefinitely, because he is not at all the way you thought of him and imagined him. You still have to dig into it a lot, and even having lived with him side by side for more than one year, you can never reveal a person to the end.

So what to do, are all our dreams not destined to come true? After all, we so wanted this biggest and brightest, completely happy and huge, all-conquering love? Have we been waiting for our life to acquire that wonderful flavor and sparkle?

Everything will be so, you will see, everything will be so and even better. Truth. Just a few tips to take into account, and everything will be in perfect order. So, how to love not through rose-colored glasses, but for real.

- You need to try to see in a partner a real person, and not invented by you or created by your imagination. After all, you and any person want to be loved the way they are. So accept your companion as he is, because when you see his previously hidden shortcomings, his hidden virtues will appear in front of you. And not invented by you, but the real ones.

- Take care of your relationship, do not let it become boring, do not bring it to conflict, try to bring something light and interesting to them, do not create problems, but create comfort, interest, excitement, in general, everything that you like now , at the moment.

“Understand that your companion’s desires are the same as yours, he has the same rights, he also certainly wants something, and he wants it very much. So allow him, and he, in turn, let him take into account your desires, because relations are built harmoniously, from both sides.

“There is no need to be an unhappy, misunderstood person, sad and disappointed. With such a partner, you will not get pleasure from life.

- Examine your shortcomings, and if you see something coming from you, from the dark side of your soul, stop immediately. Your shortcomings, if not managed, destroy any relationship with the most ideal partner. And you will lose a lot. Study yourself the same way you study your loved one.

- Talk about your desires, about what you want, what is important to you, what you want your soul mate to do, do not expect your partner to guess in an unthinkable way what you need. Direct and speak boldly, everyone should know about your desires, and then, perhaps, part of what you dream about will certainly come true.

- Do not expect easy love, leave fairy tales outside the door to enjoy and build happiness in your life not for a moment, but forever, you will have to try, but it's worth it, the prize in the form of joint happiness with your loved one is worth it.

Antonina Lebedeva, psychologist, psychotherapist.

To love and be loved is an inexpressible feeling. You fly in the clouds with happiness and smile all the time. Over time, you become so attached to your loved one that it seems you cannot even breathe without him.

But one day you realize that he has changed a lot. Maybe he doesn't look at you the way he used to, doesn't listen to you, treats you like you're nothing.

You don't want to think about the fact that your relationship can end - but this is exactly what happens ...

Although we are afraid of being rejected and unloved (especially in long-term relationships), loving a person who does not reciprocate our love will only lead to emotional wounds. It's time to get free. Re-find yourself. It's time, using our advice, to stop loving someone who does not love you, forever.

Need to realize that his love has gone

The hardest step is to realize that he doesn't love you anymore. It is hard to accept the fact that the person who gave you so much happiness now wants to live without you.

But remember that you once loved, and now you are absolutely indifferent to this. Perhaps there was some place that you considered heaven on earth, and now it’s even unpleasant for you to remember it. Everything changes in this life and accepting the idea that your man's feelings have changed (and not through your fault) is the first step to healing.

Think about yourself

Why do you need this person so much? Are you comfortable in your relationship when he doesn't love you? What do you feel about him? What do you expect from him? Are you sure you want him around?

These are just some of the questions you need to ask yourself in order to understand why it is so hard for you to let him go. You must take care of your happiness, and not give all your strength for it - this will help you recover.

Remember your individuality

When you lived together, that sense of individuality transformed from "I" to "we". You've been making decisions together for so long that maybe it's far from accurate, but maybe you just forgot what it's like to live on your own.

You should be reassured by the fact that you lived all your life without this person, lived harmoniously, without claims to yourself, until you fell in love with him. You must save yourself. And do not think that your heartache that you are experiencing now will not allow you to again become the same wonderful person that you were before this relationship.

Love yourself

If you don't love yourself, you won't respect yourself. And if you don't find value in your personality, no one will. It is you who is the most important person in your life - do not forget about it!

Find inner peace and become more beautiful

If a person happened to go through a relationship without reciprocity, then this helps him to know himself better. You can recover, overcome your fears, try new things and live life as an exciting adventure. Try to find inner peace and think about the future, not about the past.

Don't wait for his return

It's time to turn the last page of your novel and move forward. You can not cherish the hope that he will return to you. If you think like that, you will not be able to forget him and you will live in the past, imagining a future that will never come. Let life choose what's best for you and live in the present.

Be strong

When you suffer and think that the worst thing that could happen has already happened, be strong! Boldly accept reality, move forward and let everyone know that you cannot be broken.

Find love again

You are incredible! You are unique, beautiful, pure and you need to go through life without forgetting about it. Love life, appreciate love, freedom, independence, and most of all - yourself.

Do not forget that there is no grief without good. Your life didn't end just because someone stopped loving you. Everything happens for a reason and the day will come when you will fall in love again. You deserve a life filled with love, but you will understand this only when you step over these eight steps and move forward.

We Jin separated from the guys and we walked along the beach. I didn't notice anything around me. I just wanted to get away from that place. I didn’t want to see that Jungkook was standing in an embrace with another girl, it hurt me to see him with another when I myself fell in love for the first time for real with a guy. Why did life give me such a test? Why does my first love have to be him? Why did I fall in love with a man who has a girlfriend? I knew about his girlfriend, my heart, why did you choose him? Forget about him I kept telling myself. He has a girlfriend and she knows more about him than I do. Since childhood, I hated him since those events. Why did my hate turn into love? It turns out not in vain they say: "From hatred to love is one step." Why did she fall in love with him? there are plenty of guys around, she told herself. My love will remain unrequited for the rest of my life? I have never experienced such different feelings in my chest. Despair and sadness, and on the other hand, joy and happiness all this feeling mixed up. Suddenly, tears began to pour from her eyes, not noticing anything, she sat down on the sand and sobbed. Couldn't stop. How hard it is to love someone.
Pov* Jean
Momo and I went for a walk together. I was very happy to have her by my side. I wanted to know everything about her. First I started talking about myself. It seemed to me that she was flying in the clouds. And she looked sadder than yesterday. He did not understand what was happening to her and stopped talking. We walked quietly without saying anything for about half an hour. I thought that she would notice me walking next to her. That wasn't the point. Because of something, she sat down and began to cry loudly, I got scared and unconsciously hugged her. And she answered in my arms. And my heart began to beat like crazy for the first time because I was hugging a girl. I have never had such feelings before when I hugged other girls. This sign is a first for me. Can my heart really beat like that because of a girl? What is she really Momo? Who is she to me? She became more of an interesting person to me. I barely calmed her down. It began to get dark on the street and they forgot about our meeting with the guys. After she calmed down, he said to her:
- Wait for me here, I'll be right there. She nodded silently. I ran Market. And there he quickly bought water, eat, and bought sportswear and shoes for her and for himself. Ran to her. I thought she would leave. Luckily she sat looking into the distance. I went up to her and gave her clothes and shoes and told her to change. I changed on the way. She nodded silently and changed. He said to her: "Drink water and eat," he extended his hand and gave a bottle of water and a triangular kimbap. I wanted to ask why she was crying? Because of which? Because of whom? Who offended her? But he stopped himself, because by her appearance one could immediately guess that she did not want to say anything.
*****
I could not leave the stream of tears and cried. Suddenly Jin hugged me. I wanted someone to be by my side and hugged me in return. She did not notice such broad shoulders and a muscular body under loose clothes. When he hugged me, why was I so tiny? I don’t know why when he hugged me I felt comfortable and warm, it made me cry more. He reassured me and supported me without knowing the reasons why I was crying. He said to wait and left somewhere. She couldn't look at his face in embarrassment and just nodded. I didn’t think that I would make such a scene in front of Jin, how embarrassing how I would look into his eyes. An hour later he came and gave me sportswear and shoes, I changed clothes and sat down on the sand. Thanks to Jin, she quenched hunger and thirst. It would be nice to have an older brother like Jean thought to herself. He is so reliable, caring and a very nice person. I did not want to do anything and did not want to return to the hotel, as if I were meeting on the way. I didn’t want him to see me unkempt, tearful and swollen eyes. And we sat until 5 in the morning doing nothing and not talking. The silence was broken by Jin's words:
- Have you calmed down? How do you feel? Can we go back to the hotel? It's morning already. I smiled and replied:
- Sorry, because of me you didn’t sleep at night, I ruined your day, nevertheless thank you very much for not asking anything, just supporting me, thanks to you my soul calmed down! You became my first boyfriend. If you need anything I will always be happy to help you☺☺☺☺. Let's go back. The guys may be looking for us, and so we settled here. He nodded and said:
- I will accompany you. And walked to the room.
Thanks again for being by my side. Bye! See you! I said this and went into the room, fortunately the girls were sleeping. She got rid of the endless questions, quietly lay down in bed and fell asleep.
*******
Pov* Jean
Momo and I got her number. Saying goodbye, she left. I wanted to say when we get to the room. These are the words: "I don't want to leave, I want to hug and kiss you. I love you Momo very much. I don't want to be just a friend. No matter what, I will conquer you."
pov*jin end
******
I woke up due to thirst at 13:00 and my head hurts terribly, it seems I caught a cold. I remember Jin's confession, but I don't want to give him false hopes, he's a good guy, he'll find himself a good girl. I can't give my heart to a person I don't love.
******
She was sick for a week and did not leave her room. Finally got better. It's been 7 days since I saw Jungkook. These days I realized how much I love and miss him. I wanted to have a normal rest without passing, who knew that I would fall in love with someone so suddenly, he was no other person whom I had hated for so many years. One trip how could change me. And besides, she got sick. How unlucky I am. I'm talking about his girlfriend. It all happened as early as we came here. Get ready Momo, you came here to have fun and not to grieve, you will forget him, be who you are, you said to yourself. I put on a beautiful mini dress, put on light makeup, put on ballet flats and went out to look for friends who had gone for a walk. From this day on, I will walk girls as if nothing had happened. I never thought that Jeju would be such a big island. I went around all the places that they could be. Unfortunately, I can’t find it, I’m tired of walking, I want to drink and eat. "Damn it where they wear" - she screamed. Forgetting that I am in a crowded place. I became so angry and I want to go back faster, but why can't I find my way? At that moment someone came up and whispered:
- Che yelling in a crowded place. I quickly moved away from fear, and wanted to quickly leave here, I don’t know who it was, he didn’t let me leave, he held my wrist tightly. She looked at him, - "Why him?"
- Let me go, my friends are waiting for me, I'm in a hurry, - she said loudly to him. But he is not paying attention to somewhere holding my wrist.
- Jungkook, please let me go, I really need to go, girls are waiting for me, why don't you hear others like that? - quietly said. He let go:
- Why do you walk around such a big island alone? You can see that you are hungry and tired. If girlfriends are waiting, why in the middle of the road screamed where are they? Are you making a fool of me? Here is our hotel, go eat in the restaurant and go to rest in your room. And left. I could not say a word after his words. She quickly went to her number. When I arrived in the room, the girls were sitting and laughing about something. Out of anger, I shouted at them:
- Where have you been? Why was I left alone? Am I a stranger to you? She couldn't help but cry. They were surprised and ran towards me. Hayoung:
- What happened? Why are you crying? You are our beloved best friend, sorry for leaving you alone. After all, you have been walking like a stone for a week, you don’t notice anything, you don’t answer our questions, you ignore the beginnings, and we began to think that you don’t want to communicate with us. Hayoung and Nam Joo started crying with me. We cried in an embrace and, like psychos, began to laugh. Pointing at each other how scary we are. We looked at ourselves in the mirror and began to laugh out loud. Our mascaras are running, our lipsticks are smeared because of the crying. And we started a heart to heart conversation. I started:
- They made an application for me to become a girl. Nam Joo and Hayoung at the same time:
- Who?
- Who?
- Guess😏
-😒
- 😒
- Seok Jin confessed to me, but I rejected him and told him you are my first boyfriend friend. Nam Joo:
Did you really reject him? Did you first confess why you rejected him? He is handsome, muscular, tall and most importantly rich. Hayoung:
- What are you talking about Ju, the main thing in a person is not money, but personality. Why are you so obsessed with money you already come from a rich family. You are the heir. Nam Joo:
- Excuse me😔 I wanted the best for Momo. She has never dated a guy. I want her to find herself a good boyfriend. I don't want her first relationship ruined her love fantasies. I:
You don't have to ask for forgiveness, you wanted the best. I myself slow down when it comes to love. Don't worry about me, I'll find my happiness someday. I thank you so much for being with me. When there is you, why do I need a boyfriend, - she said and hugged them.