Fitness and healthy lifestyle 

What are the chances for a man of 35 to marry. Five myths about marriage after thirty. What a challenge - a quick date

When you are young and not married, you are constantly pestered with the question: "When is the wedding?" Learning that it will not be soon, they add: "Look, don't be late!" However, as soon as you are a little over thirty, the question begins to sound completely different - you can clearly hear sympathetic notes in it: “You never got married, did you? And why?"

Surprisingly, in our country, after thirty, an unmarried man is considered a bachelor whom young ladies dream of "ringing", and a woman is an old maid, whose chances of getting married are even less than our national football team of winning the world championship. And all because:

1. If no one married you before thirty, then something is wrong with you

You have not yet married, because among the many fans there was no one with whom you can walk hand in hand through life and feel happy? It is useless to explain this - they will not hear. Our stereotypes are still strong: at twenty, mother, at forty, grandmother, and no digressions.

Ah, already over thirty and not married? That's all, youth has passed! Neighbors and coworkers will no longer introduce you to their unmarried friends, second cousins, single and casual travel companions to whom you could become an ideal wife. Only a lonely old age and evenings at the TV with the obligatory knitting of warm socks for the children of girlfriends await you ahead. You can think about marriage for a long time, but you need to act.

Forget about traditions and stereotypes that are no longer relevant. Today thirty years is not yet the age when there is nothing to hope for. And he certainly does not turn the girl into an old aunt with a boring character, barely seeing whom, the men run across to the other side of the street. On the contrary - everything is just beginning!

A person is young and old, depending on how he feels. Thomas Mann

European ladies are also sure of this, who are in no hurry to choose the style of a wedding dress. For example, most Portuguese women get married at the age of 25, English and Dutch women - after 28, French women - after 30. And no one chuckles, looking after them, and does not say that at this age it is necessary to urgently throw all efforts in search of a husband ...

2. After thirty, it is difficult to endure and give birth to a healthy baby

Of course, it is better to give birth early and after thirty think about the second child. But after all, in your youth you need to get an education, make a career, take place, and only then, when you no longer have ambitious aspirations, think about marriage and the birth of children.

The oldest woman in childbirth in the world is 66-year-old Romanian resident Adriana Iliescu, who gave birth to a girl in 2005. The previous record was set in 2003, when a 65-year-old school teacher from India Satyabhama Mahapatra gave birth to a boy.

Doctors believe that if a woman does not suffer from serious illnesses, then she may well give birth after twenty-five. In addition, modern medicine has every opportunity to find out how the fetus is developing, already at the beginning of pregnancy.

According to Professor John Mirowski of the University of Texas, the ideal age for a first child is 34 years. It is by this age that the optimal balance between a woman's health and her material well-being is achieved. The scientist believes that with age, a woman treats her health more responsibly, does not behave as risky as at 20, and this is also an important factor. “In any case, a woman who gave birth to her first child at 34 will be 14 years younger for health reasons than the one who gave birth at 18,” says Mirowski. In the UK, the average age at which women give birth to their first child is thirty. Late childbirth in the west has long been considered the norm. For example, Kim Basinger became a mother after forty, and Madonna only gave birth to her first child at thirty-six, and after forty, a second.

3. There are no applicants left

It is believed that if you have reached the age of thirty in the search for your soul mate, then you simply will not have anyone to marry, since all suitable candidates have already been snapped up by more practical ladies.

For example, 31-year-old journalist Leticia Ortiz Rocasalano managed to turn the head of the Crown Prince of the Spanish throne, 35-year-old Felipe of Asturias, and 32-year-old Mary Donaldson, the daughter of a simple Scottish professor of mathematics, won the heart of 35-year-old Danish Prince Frederick.

It's like being late for a sale: you come, and there are not so many things there, your size is gone, and the quality leaves much to be desired. But if you take a quick glance, and if you look closely, carefully dig, you can find a thing that will delight for many years.

The main thing is not to sit at home, but to be in a creative search all the time. Travel more often, communicate more with a wide variety of people, hope for luck and believe in yourself.

Even Balzac wrote that a thirty-year-old woman is a living mystery, and there is always a man who wants to interpret her in the way that desires, hopes, and convictions tell him.

4. Men prefer young blondes

Even if you meet a free man, he, upon learning of your age, will faint and, without leaving him, will slowly disappear, like the Cheshire Cat.

Nonsense. The average age at marriage in major Russian cities is now about thirty years. Approximately - this is "over thirty" too.

5. Habits that are difficult to part with

Another barrier on the way to marriage is "bachelor habits." That is, women after thirty still have chances to get married, only there is no desire anymore. It becomes much more convenient to live alone - and a career is successful, and there is enough money for all the whims, and there is no need to wash dirty socks, and cook dinner, and share the TV remote control.

A career is a wonderful thing, but it can't keep anyone warm on a cold night. Marilyn Monroe

However, any, even the most ingrained, bachelor habits dissolve without a trace in a gentle and loving look. My neighbor recently turned 69 years old, and she surprisingly took children and grandchildren and got married. Now he and his grandfather only go everywhere together, always by the hand and are completely happy! She is a great example of the fact that at any age you can meet the man of your dreams and marry him.

At twenty, desires prevail, at thirty - mind, at forty - common sense. Benjamin Franklin

And finally, heed the main advice of all family psychologists: marry the person with whom you really feel good and with whom you are not afraid to grow old on the same pillow.

Do you know what component of social life is the fundamental difference between us and any civilized country in the world? Of course, apart from the standard of living, social guarantees and the general indicator of happiness, which are clearly not in our favor? Attitude towards marriage. This complex but important issue will be discussed below. We will try to answer, first of all, for ourselves, whether it is worth worrying about getting married after 35 years, and not when it is prescribed to be done by public opinion.

Is early marriage obligatory?

Unfortunately, historically, in our country, marriage is rather a necessity and an obligatory indicator of “success”. If until a certain age you do not have a stamp in your passport, this means that your life has not worked out. This is especially true of girls, who for some reason are almost supposed to jump out as quickly as possible to get married and have children. For some reason, few are interested in the opinion of the girls themselves.

It is even more surprising that this state of affairs suits the girls themselves, who agree to take on such a thankless role. No, being a mother and mistress of the house is also a huge work, it is not even discussed. However, what about self-development? What about expanding horizons? Is it possible to see the world while standing at the stove? Obviously not, and it’s a pity that many initially resigned themselves to this alignment and did nothing to change the situation. And it is very good if your young spouse understands the situation and does not force you to stay at home. But if he doesn't understand? Is it worth it so early to complete the "free voyage"?

Statistics claim that among European countries, the states of the former USSR are leading in terms of such indicators as “ lowest age for marriage". On average, pairs of CIS countries go down the aisle in 23-24 years old, while in western Europe this figure is in the region 30 years... Why is that? What makes young people marry so quickly? And vice versa, why is it so long, according to our standards, in the West pondering this?

What are the benefits of late marriages?

When a girl is going to get married after 30, she clearly understands what she wants from a man and living together with him. She is a long-established personality who has already outlined for herself a range of interests and requirements both for herself and for those around her. The same applies to men, so this kind of relationship is based on clearly defined desires and expectations - there will be no painful search for common denominators.

One of the main reasons why girls in Europe and America are in no hurry to get married early is the desire to first form as a person. What is a 23-24 year old girl like? She recently graduated from university (in the West, perhaps, she has not finished yet), has a maximum of a couple of years of far from the most prestigious work experience, most likely lives in a rented apartment with a friend / friend. She was unlikely to have been abroad, although this statement is rather true for our realities - European students actively travel around the European Union. And now, having outlined such a portrait, how can it be argued that she is ready to become a wife and mother, that she has received enough experience of family life and will be able to transfer at least some knowledge to her heir? Unlikely. And most importantly - will the newly-made family be able to exist at the proper level if the girl goes on maternity leave in connection with the birth of a child, and all the maintenance will fall on the shoulders of the father? It's good if he earns enough, but if not?

Western girls make their careers first. 25-30 years is the best period for this. During these years, forces are still beating like a fountain, there are many unrealized ideas in their heads, and they are not going to spend them on sitting at home. And rightly so. During these years, the very capital is being formed that will allow her to be absolutely independent neither from the economic situation in the country, nor from the will of the man with whom fate will bring her sooner or later. And, for that matter, which will give her the opportunity to independently put the child on her feet, if the circumstances are so.

Why are our girls so popular in the West?

A reasonable question - but if European women by the age of 30 or so become successful personalities with a large store of knowledge, a successful career and a large bank account, then why do European men increasingly want to find a spouse for themselves just among the girls of the CIS countries?

And this is where the difference in mentality manifests itself with might and main. Our girls, even those who want to achieve independence from a man by all means, are not at all opposed to getting married and starting a family. They just want a man to respect their right to self-determination and take their opinion into account.

Europeans are increasingly refusing to run a household, take care of children or make concessions in solving family problems. Quite often there are cases when they simply do not know how to do this, simply because at one time there was no time to learn this. So it turns out that it is not at all uncommon when in certain countries (Great Britain, Italy) men at the household level cook much better than women and like to do it.

But industriousness and modesty Slavic women have long been known throughout the world. That being said, please do not assume that Europeans are solely interested in your culinary and dusting skills. You will be surprised, but in many countries of Western Europe, a man considers it his direct duty to make his home as comfortable as possible for life, and he may simply not let you into this kind of work. He himself will equip it and maintain it in a functional state.

What can prevent marriage with a foreigner?

Let's hope that we got rid of the idea that getting married after 35 and later is impossible. It is not only possible to do this, but it is also more than realistic to raise the standard of your life, because it is well known that European countries offer a much wider range of opportunities for both work and leisure. Now let's discuss what might hinder you from achieving this goal. More precisely, what do you think can interfere, because, in fact, there are simply no insurmountable obstacles.

Learn languages

When you make acquaintance with a foreigner, it will not be superfluous to know the language of his country or English. The second option will be preferable at the first stages of acquaintance, when your plans to move are still rather vague. In the civilized world, English is spoken by the overwhelming majority of the adult population, so this is a universal option. The language of the country of your chosen one is worth learning when you have already outlined your joint future. This is important, you shouldn't always rely on English. In some countries (for example, in the Czech Republic) there are great patriots who believe that since you have moved to their country, you should speak with them in their language. You may even have to take several exams. But don't worry - there are often free language courses for new arrivals.

Don't worry about children.

Perhaps this will not be your first marriage, you have children, and you are afraid of how your foreign spouse will perceive them? Set aside any doubts, your child will be completely safe, European men for the most part adore children and love to pamper them. And situations when the wife is at work, and the husband is at home with the child, are common. This is also why many of them do not want to marry locals. While family vacations are one of the favorite activities throughout Europe: from calm and balanced Finland to emotional and energetic Italy.

Pay special attention to documents

It will take you some time to prepare the documents. This is a necessary step, you can't go anywhere without it. In some cases, be prepared that your future marriage will be checked for fictitiousness - you will be called for an interview, asked to show joint photos, copies of vacation receipts, and so on. Treat such procedures with understanding. Unfortunately, obtaining citizenship of one of the European countries is the only goal of many "bounty hunters".

How and where to meet a foreigner

We will not describe the many ineffective ways to meet citizens of other countries. Trips to a foreign country at random, "catching" tourists, pimping - they all turn out to be useless when it becomes clear that a man is not very eager to find a spouse. We will not talk about dating sites that are filled with dissatisfied schoolchildren and scammers who hide behind pictures of handsome men. Until you meet in person, you will never know whether your interlocutor told the whole truth about himself. And when you meet, it will be too late - time and money have already been spent.

So we will focus on the proven and most effective, as practice shows, method - marriage agencies. After all, it is always better to seek help from professionals who have an idea of ​​how to find single foreign men. For example, the largest international agency Paradise Date in Kharkiv has been organizing meetings of local girls and men from all over the world for more than seven years. The agency works with all age groups (of course, over 18), so you no longer have to think about how to get married after 35 or later - just trust the staff of Paradise Date.

The girls are only required to provide information about themselves and take a few photos. This is important, because potential grooms will see them first. Then your profile goes into the database, where only verified men can see it - those who have confirmed their free status and fully paid for the agency's work. Girls, in turn, do not pay for anything.

Thus, the girls do not risk anything: their data remains strictly confidential, the men with whom they organize meetings are guaranteed secured and successful personalities, and support of various kinds (from a translator to a document consultant) is provided by the staff of Paradise Date. The main thing is to be confident in yourself and just be yourself. It is appreciated always, everywhere and by everyone, regardless of nationality.

Because it's not about the number of actions taken. When a woman takes active steps, she does not believe that she is worthy of happiness, she does not believe that a man will choose her, she is ruled by fear, she is afraid to be left alone. Acting out of this fear, it is impossible to meet a man, much less create a relationship with him.

When you think that you are a victim of circumstances, people, you fall into a sacrificial state, and this state deprives you of strength and creative energy. You are in decline. In order to attract what you want into your life, you need to be on the rise, have energy, a clear look ahead, and not into the past, give up grudges and claims to life. An empty, emaciated woman cannot be a magnet. And it is the emotional fatigue and emptiness that is terrible.

If a woman wants to make up for the lack of happiness and love through a man, to solve the problem of deficit, then the man is not at all in a hurry into the life of such a woman.

Can a man be attracted to a woman who is dissatisfied and unhappy? Feel, do not respond with the mind, feel it. What should he do in this “energy hole”, where whatever you put, everything will disappear without a trace? It is not a man that makes a woman happy; a woman should be happy and fulfilled before a man comes into her life.

Dissatisfaction with yourself, dissatisfaction with yourself, anger at yourself, also kills the magic, and you cease to be a magnet.

And yet, how to get married?

Any thoughts and feelings require energy. If you are sad about past relationships, and even plunged into these experiences, you begin to nourish the past, something that does not exist and that will not be. All your power, all your magic flows there.

Our female well-being and happiness depends on what thoughts we choose and where we direct our strength.

If you really want to meet a man, start a family, stop thinking what to do? where to look? and where to run? Such thoughts simply kill a woman, destroy her and make her neurotic. Over-efforts, anxiety and tension also indicate fear.

But how to come to this state and how to be fulfilled, these are very important questions for any woman. Need to:

  • Solve issues with grievances, claims to life and to others;
  • Get rid of past connections;
  • To love yourself, to treat yourself carefully without criticism, without evaluations, without remaking yourself;
  • To reveal feminine qualities, tenderness, gentleness, kindness;
  • Thank you for what you already have;
  • Learn to relax;
  • Begin to respect men, accept their masculinity;
  • And the main thing is to develop the habit of being happy every day, regardless of whether there is a man in your life today or not.

You say - this is not an easy job? Indeed, it is very difficult to do it alone.

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Tatiana Dzutseva.

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For the past 20-25 years, anti-family propaganda has sprouted. People repeat one after another the patterns embedded in Gorbachev's Perestroika: "Why breed poverty," "first you need to get on your feet," "children should have everything," "no one owes anything to anyone," "in the West, people first make their careers." ...

Now let's see what comes out of this. First of all, many begin to look at the opposite sex as an object of consumption: men at women as an object to satisfy their sexual needs, women at men as an object to satisfy their material needs.

Young people try to make a career and, at best, buy an inexpensive (up to 1 million rubles) foreign car on credit, and after that (F) start dreaming of how to marry an orphan oligarch or (M) how to rob an employer in order to stop working for your uncle and start a family.

In the best case, they have their first child at 35-40 years old. Although you can’t trample against nature. Both parents must be young for a healthy baby to be born. Over the years, diseases only increase. I have seen many foreign women who give birth after 40 - here and cancerous tumors are declared, and children become ugly. Take Khakamada as an example: gave birth after 40, down. No, you can of course give an exceptional example of a healthy child born to a 60-year-old. But understand, the chances of healthy offspring do not increase with age, but decrease. It has always been considered and promoted by doctors that the first child should appear between 18 and 30 years old. Moreover, a man should be just as young, because both parents are involved in conception.

Well, and the social moment cannot be ignored: a child whose parents are suitable for grandparents grows up closed, complex, and his parents die when he just enters adulthood.

Therefore, do not fool yourself and your partners. If you have met the very person with whom you want to live your whole life, start a family and children as early as possible. Don't wait 35 (40, 45) years or when you can finally change from a credit car to a normal BMW or Mercedes.

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For the past 20-25 years, anti-family propaganda has sprouted. People repeat one after another the patterns embedded in Gorbachev's Perestroika: “Why breed poverty,” “first you need to get on your feet,” “children should have everything,” “no one is anything to anyone ...

"/> Alena Khaustova

In the 21st century, in the conditions of the rapid development of modern society, ever higher requirements are imposed on women in terms of education, level of success, appearance, etc. Therefore, even from school, she studies scientific theses and tries to succeed in career growth. And what is the bottom line? And as a result, by the age of 30, the girl has an academic degree or is already heading a department at a well-known company, and high-ranking officials greet her. In pursuit of modern trends in the development of forces and time for personal life, there is absolutely no time left.

If earlier my mother was afraid that her daughter would jump out to marry before 16, now she is afraid that at least before 30 she would find a worthy husband

Advantages of unmarried female representatives under 30 years of age

If a girl has not married before the age of 30, then pressure from the mother, society, married friends begins. All this leads to either self-flagellation or depression.

Is it realistic to get married after 30

As they say, there is a way out of every situation. Advantages of unmarried ladies under 30:

  • You already a person who is respected in his own eyes.
    From the height of your experience, you have already managed to get acquainted with such an individual as a man, and study him a little.
  • You financially independent, are able to provide for their needs and even do charity work to support the development of New Guinea's pink elephants.
  • You already not capable of sudden and hasty decisions.
  • A beauty in her 30s is already clear understands what she wants, and what ways of life are completely unacceptable to her.

It costs a lot.

And with this baggage of knowledge, we are trying to take off, wondering, is it really possible to get married after 30 years?

Everything is possible and everything is real. A hundred years ago, people did not know what the Internet and a wireless network were, but today humanity is slowly exploring space and cloning sheep. The thought may get into my head that the worthy men have already been sorted out. However, to our deepest regret, men do not make inscriptions: "Worthy" or "Unworthy". Therefore, it is difficult to say what percentage of free representatives of the stronger sex is really capable of creating a marriage and a strong family... Undoubtedly, some have already been taken apart, but some are still free. And the task is reduced only to finding them.

Problems finding a soul mate if you are already over 30

At the moment when a man realizes that it is time for him to get married, a woman begins to understand that she can cope on her own.

You can torment literature, the Internet and psychologists for a long time with the question, why is it difficult to get married after 30 years? Let's look at some of the main reasons.

Why is it difficult to get married after 30 years

Where to find a decent man?

According to most, the main problem is lack of free decent men... Undoubtedly, some of the conquerors of women's hearts at the age of 30 have already passed into the category of husbands and are burdened with family responsibilities and diapers. But there are men who, like you, were busy with education and career growth, aren't there?

There is a contingent of men who, in principle, are ready to start a family only after they can fully provide for it, so as not to bring their young wife to a room in a dormitory, but to their own fully equipped nest. Achieving this level of well-being up to 30 is quite problematic. Therefore, you should not cry into your pillow: after all, the chances of getting married even after 35 years are quite high.

Chances of getting married after 35 years

Complexes and bad experiences

Another problem is our complexes... You purposefully meet young people on the Internet, and after going on 10 unsuccessful dates, you get depressed. Initially, one of the problems of an unsuccessful date is complexes.

Perhaps at the first meeting, a man is afraid to open up and be completely frank, which forces him to act within the framework of the ingrained rules of good or, conversely, bad behavior. And here in front of him sits such a kitty and is waiting for something incomprehensible. Certainly, he is complex.

You end up bored on a date, or a new acquaintance seems overly cheerful and unbridled. Don't rush to write off the candidate. Need to have patience... A young man needs time to start trusting you, and then he will be able to take off his feigned mask and show his true self, which you may fall in love with. You don't buy a dress right after it appears in the window? You need to go through a fitting, make sure that the outfit matches the figure, and only then make a decision.

Ladies, let's not forget that every beauty has your life experience... It is not worth transferring the problems of unsuccessful previous relationships to all men in a row. In this way, you cripple your psyche and completely discourage your desire to marry.

Loneliness habit

Having escaped from parental care and having gone through a socially turbulent student life, the woman calms down and builds her warm, cozy nest with her own rules and concepts. And then suddenly love. How can you fit it into your life?

First time married

Often a woman after 30 is the one weak half of humanity, who, having perched on her male responsibilities, confidently and clearly walks through life with an inexorable expression on her face. When a partner appears, she painfully reacts to all sorts of innovations in her life on his part. There is a need to change your schedule, habitual ways, and, in extreme cases, even the manufacturer of purchased milk.
Strong women make sure they are always right. Well darling if you always right, and you can do everything in this life by yourself, then why do you need a husband? And on top of that, who loves the eternally biting, uncompromising bitch? No one. You need to become affectionate and submissive.

Getting married successfully after 30 is not much more difficult than at 20. You just need to understand in which direction to move, choose the right policy and go.

A woman is not a draft horse, but an exquisite adornment of any society

Men after 30 years

So, lovely creatures, if after 30 you are ripe for marriage, then you should understand the following nuances: most of the contingent of men after 30 are divorced people, and you should not be intimidated by this. Single men with a column of stamps in their passports already have experience in family life. He has already drawn conclusions and clearly understands what he wants and what is completely unacceptable for him... Therefore, trying to impudently impose on him your vision of the family foundation, especially if you are going to get married for the first time, and he is the second, will not give any result. Try to take a closer look at his concepts and determine the scope of your field of activity. In this case, it is better not to scare the strong half.

Married after thirty

Often, men after 30 already have children, therefore, you should be prepared for the fact that you have to raise someone else's child.

Most likely, a man who did not marry until the age of 30 lived for a long time under my mother's close round-the-clock care... Probably, he will look for a partner for a lady who is in no way inferior in characteristics to his beloved mother. If you want to be madly with this young, successful man, do not despair right away. Now your main task is to charm your beloved mom. Sonny, having received approval, will stop making exorbitant demands on you and will calm down.

We often forget that a woman has always been considered an adornment of society, be it the king's wife or the smiling girl serving you soup in the dining room.

It is the sweet lady who complements the world with harmony and beauty.

Which of the men will be attracted to an overly confident and strict lady? So, tips on how to get married after 35:

  • Don't despair. Sponges with a bow, eyebrows with a house and forward for the orders.
  • Try it smile more... Sincerely, radiantly smile at jokes at work, even completely stupid ones, or just at a stranger in the store.
  • If you have only "married" or daring fighters over 50 at work, you urgently need expand the circle of communication... Diversify your hobbies. Previously, it would have been possible to confine oneself to a library or a theater, but, unfortunately, it will not be possible to meet a single director of a large travel company in such places today. Sign up for a foreign language course or take some fencing lessons. It doesn't matter where the wind of change takes you, the most important thing is to find the right target audience.
  • Add Little bright shades into your image. As a rule, in a serious job there is a strict dress code: “for example, a skirt is not higher than the knee,” “a heel is not more than 5 cm,” etc. And we obediently follow the established rules of being. You can't wear a bright red dress to work, but you can add a red scarf that attracts attention, or bright shoes. In this way, a woman will deliberately attract attention and interest to herself.

How to get married after 35

Be yourself, that sincere, loving, caring, sweet creature that nature created you. Do not be afraid to show your tenderness to the second half of humanity, and everything you wish will come true.

In the end, advice to those ladies who got married after thirty: girls, rejoice in your happiness, because life is so short. And remember how in an old Soviet film it was said: "There are no bad wives, just as there are no bad husbands!"

June 1, 2018 2:56 pm