I took loneliness for granted and... Loneliness: why are we lonely and how to deal with it? What leads to loneliness

07.07.2024

When a person says that he is lonely, he usually means that no one needs him. People understand different conditions by loneliness. Some people find it boring to be alone with themselves, others cannot meet a loved one. And someone feels empty inside or lonely due to objective reasons. When a feeling of uselessness brings suffering, then ways are sought to get out of this situation. How to deal with loneliness?

What leads to loneliness

When life loses its meaning, becomes empty, and mental breakdown is acutely felt, psychologists advise determining the cause. Psychologist D. Young describes 12 syndromes:

Impossibility of being alone. Such people cannot cope with boredom; they experience melancholy alone.
Low self-esteem. “I don’t have anyone because I’m boring,” “Nobody loves me, I’m an uninteresting person.”
Shyness, communication problems.
Lack of ability to behave, no communication skills.
Hostile attitude towards people.
Fear of disappointment.
Anxiety, doubt about one’s unattractiveness.
Bad past experiences, past violence. People who have experienced emotional and physical abuse find it very difficult to form relationships.
Internal stiffness.
Difficulties in choosing a partner, friends.
Fear of emotional intimacy.
Too stringent requirements for potential friends and partners.

Loneliness can worsen against the background of someone else's joy, when experiencing grief or success. Today there is a new phenomenon - a feeling of loneliness in megacities. When there are a large number of people, a person feels emptiness, aggressiveness and irritation.

The most difficult loneliness is in a situation of illness or old age. How's loneliness?

Interesting fact! Scientists believe that women suffer more from lack of communication than men. Women more often need emotional support and affection.

After realizing the reasons for your feelings, the work begins. To begin with, it is worth developing certain ways of getting rid of it. Solving personal problems begins with the following steps:

Acceptance of yourself, your personality without devaluation and idealization. Lonely people often distort their self-image and attach greater importance to the opinions of others about themselves. When you need to change the situation, you should start with yourself.
Search for additional development resources and interests. If you find something you love, you will definitely find good company and like-minded people. This could be a gym, a swimming pool, dancing or an embroidery group.
Recognizing the right to make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes sometime, this is not a reason to isolate yourself. Psychologists recommend learning to communicate casually, getting to know people sincerely, and smiling at strangers on the bus.
It helps to revise expectations for yourself and others. Excessive or underestimated requirements build a barrier.

How to accept loneliness? Find a new meaning in life, a different state of mind. For example, charity, volunteering, guardianship over someone helps. Research confirms that people who are least likely to experience loneliness are those engaged in volunteer, medical, and charitable work.

Interesting fact! Research results show that forced restrictions on communication negatively affect health. Isolation from society can be the cause of a number of somatic diseases.

Real situations

But still, how to survive loneliness? Let's look at examples of real people's situations.

Irina’s experience, 41 years old

Olga's experience, 28 years

“I didn’t have good relationships with people. I felt a constant wall; I had no close relationships with anyone. I read a lot, worked on myself, and once heard the phrase “accept your loneliness as a given.” I didn't want this! I decided to see a psychotherapist. I realized that I was greatly influenced by my childhood and my parents’ attitude towards me. I was always alone, they didn’t communicate with me, they didn’t ask how I felt or how I was doing. I can’t say that I have completely changed, but the results are already there - I stopped putting up barriers and devaluing myself. I now have a loved one and this is an achievement. I believe that I can cope with problems from childhood.”

Nina's experience, 50 years

“My son grew up and went to live in another city, and I was left alone. I began to eat away my melancholy; I didn’t even have anyone to talk to about my feelings. I gained a lot of weight and started having health problems. For about three years my life was built on TV series and goodies. With this I tried to say no to my lonely lifestyle. Everything changed when I became ill at home, and I could not even call an ambulance. After the hospital I decided to change everything. I started walking outside more and got a dog. Regular walks and caring allowed me to lose a little weight, and an interest in life appeared. I got acquainted with the volunteer movement “Helping Lonely Old People.” Now I am a volunteer, my circle of friends has expanded, I am the initiator of many actions and events in our city. How to deal with loneliness in my opinion? We need to look for similarly lonely people—helping others enriches us and saves us from boredom.”

Longing or depression?

It is important to distinguish feelings of melancholy from depression. In case of depression, only medication treatment will help. And the desire for life and the joy of new happy moments will help you cope with the melancholy of loneliness.
We also recommend watching a video from medical psychologist Veronica Stepanova on the topic of loneliness:

When a person feels lonely for a long time, he may experience health problems. Therefore, brushing aside the worries that arise about this is not the best way out of this situation. It’s better to deal with the problem once and for all and cope with loneliness so that this condition no longer has a negative impact on your life.

People often believe that only those people who are alone, those who have no family, friends, or relatives, suffer from loneliness. In fact, this is just a feeling that sometimes does not reflect reality. After all, people can be lonely among people, and when they are married and have children.

Since for many people loneliness is not the joy of feeling freedom, but a big problem, often accompanied by depression and sadness, we decided to look at such an important question: how to survive loneliness, or rather, how you can quickly cope with loneliness. Go?

What are the reasons for loneliness

Lonely because you don't need him?

If you don't know how to cope with loneliness, it is very difficult to bring joy back to life. To do this, it is important to understand what reason or events made you feel lonely. Perhaps due to lack of support, misunderstanding, indifference, isolation, a person believes that no one needs him or is important to anyone.

How to cope with such loneliness? Everything is much simpler than you think. You can make sure that this is not the case by joining a community of volunteers who help homeless animals, save nature, plant trees, collect garbage, put out fires, hold events and lessons of kindness, visit orphans, and help people with physical disabilities. opportunities for children and adults facing serious illnesses.

In any city there are people whose kindness extends to all the disadvantaged and needy. They can be found using social networks; today many groups have been created in which people communicate and solve various problems together. Someone helps them from afar, living in another city or village, someone joins them personally, where they meet new people for whom mercy, compassion and empathy are not an empty phrase, but a way of life.

And then a person immediately feels that in fact he is very needed and important, he just needs to make a little effort to look around the world in search of those who need his help. Pets save you from loneliness, especially those picked up on the street or taken from a shelter. A cat will give you so much love and warmth that it will help heal all wounds, and a dog will teach you a healthy lifestyle and increase your chances of meeting fellow dog lovers, among whom there may be a person who will become your companion if you are still single and not in love.

Loneliness as an opportunity to retire

It is also important to realize that lack of privacy has a negative impact on mental health. People who are constantly running somewhere, suffering from loneliness, afraid of it, always trying to fill their day with something, will one day fill their soul with a mass of negative emotions and impressions, and all this, after an insignificant event, will fall on them and those who nearby at this moment, like an avalanche, destroying everything in its path.

It is dangerous when people cannot or do not want to be alone, they are afraid to look into their souls and restore order there. It is for this reason that some people often create such discomfort in their souls from grievances, disappointments, claims, unfulfilled desires that at one point they break down.

Silence - return the path to suffering and loneliness

The wife who was silent and endured, trying not to think about what she was not happy with in her husband, pretending that everything was fine, deep down in her soul did not think so, and after some time the realization comes to her that she remains misunderstood, unheard. At the same time, her husband can be a very good person, but how can he hear her when she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t express anything. And if he is a soulless tyrant, then it is not surprising that she did not want to be left alone with herself, so as not to face the truth and not find herself in a situation where she needs to decide what to do with her life.

And in such situations, loneliness is often perceived as a threat to an established life, although there is nothing good in it. Therefore, it is very important to understand that you cannot turn your soul into a sewer, where all the negativity and discontent accumulates. Loneliness allows you to deal with what is happening in life and free your soul from the accumulated deposits over time. Therefore, for those who understand the dangers of a constant desire to be in the thick of things, loneliness is a real salvation, which makes it possible to protect themselves and adjust their life path in time, make an important decision and take the first step towards a dream.

To survive loneliness, look for the positive

In order to cope with loneliness, as soon as you feel lonely, think about the opportunities this opens up for you. You can put things in order in your soul, make sure that everything is fine with you. Determine what goals you have and how relevant they are. Choose the dream that you want to fulfill most and develop a plan for its fulfillment. If you don’t have enough knowledge, then look for it, the whole world is in front of you, you just have to go online. Analyze what you have learned, try to transfer it to your life and make a plan on how you can get what you want. Break it down into several stages and start implementing the very first one.

Social life helps cope with loneliness

Participation in important social projects that change life around for the better helps you overcome loneliness, realize your importance, feel self-sufficient, understand that there are more kind people, and some of them will definitely want to communicate with you, and rude and unpleasant personalities can always be avoided.

A person for whom the pain and grief of others is not an empty phrase cannot be alone; he may be confused and not yet see his own path. But it is precisely the feeling of loneliness that becomes a signal that it is time to look at your life and think about whether you are doing everything that is important to you. Are you fulfilling all your dreams? Did you choose the path for yourself that you wanted and that brings you joy?

Analyze your dreams and desires

In order to survive loneliness, think about your hobbies, try to find out if there are people where you live who are also interested in this. And if you want to learn something, look for courses where you will definitely find like-minded people with whom you will have something to talk about. They can become good friends for you.

Become a good communicator

Are you worried that your interlocutor is uninteresting? In vain. If you know how to listen and are sincerely interested in what the other person is saying, believe me, you will not go unnoticed. In addition, as psychologists say, people are more fixated on themselves and their mistakes, so they don’t notice a lot at all. Those who mock others by carefully observing them are ill-mannered and unhappy people, the sooner you realize that this person is like this, the sooner you remove him from the list of those with whom you should associate. And you don't need to take everything personally. The person behaves badly because he is bad, not you. More self-confidence. A good conversationalist will never suffer from loneliness, because when there is someone to talk to heart to heart, there will be no time left for loneliness.

Expand your social circle, get to know each other

If you suffer from loneliness in your personal life, think about how you can expand your social circle to meet the right man.

Loneliness as personal freedom

But, of course, the main advice on how to cope with loneliness is considered to be this: change your attitude towards loneliness. Don't take it with hostility, but try to look at it from the other side. Stop perceiving this as a punishment, as a sign of your worthlessness, isolation from the world.

After all, at some point it is important for everyone to be alone with themselves in order to analyze thoughts, feelings, emotions, live them, experience something and let go.

Thanks to the so-called loneliness, you are left alone with yourself, there is no need to rush anywhere. You can finally read an interesting book that, who knows, will change your life, or you can visit an exhibition, a museum, go to a park, join a charity or pay attention to them on the Internet, spreading information among online acquaintances about them activities.

To survive loneliness, realize that this is your chance to finally understand yourself, understand what you really like, what you would like to do, or vice versa, understand that you are really on the right path, no matter who tries to convince you otherwise, to enjoy it and appreciate your achievements, instead of criticizing yourself.

Don't be afraid to feel lonely. Loneliness is not scary. There is nothing wrong. This is just a moment in your life when the time has come to figure out what is most important to you in life, what you really want to do. This is an opportunity to be alone with yourself and analyze your path, dreams and aspirations. Many people go through life, eventually realizing that they have lived someone else's life. Because they ran away, hid and tried with all their might to get rid of the loneliness that frightened them. They failed to realize that this was a chance to get to know themselves better in time, to understand their true desires, to find and take a path that would make them happy, so that they would not be offended and hurt that their life was wasted in pursuit of what was absolutely unnecessary .

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Article by a psychologist at the "5 YES!" CENTER Marina Morozova

U loneliness many reasons. Let's look at some of them (with other reasons loneliness you can find out in the article “WHY WE ARE SINGLE”).

DO YOU NEED TO FIGHT LONELINESS?
AND I AM FIGHTING WITH MYSELF!

No wonder cause of loneliness there may be a fight against it or a desire to escape from it. If we struggle with something, then we give it our strength. If we run away from something, it catches up with us. Therefore, if we fighting our loneliness or running away from it, then we only strengthen it.

One of the laws of life is that if you want to get rid of something, you need to love it. If you can't accept and love your loneliness, then it will not get away from you until you love it. And so that love solitude, you need to find the advantages in it, learn to enjoy it and be delighted with it.

Irina is 32 years old, two years ago she divorced with husband(he went to another). At first she suffered a lot. In fact, they had not had love for a long time; the family existed only formally. But Irina still felt inferior, blamed herself for not being able to keep her husband, and she was also ashamed to admit to her friends that her apparently prosperous family had fallen apart. Everything seemed like a tragedy to her, and she came for a consultation.

THE HEART IS occupied with the same love

Maybe you are alone because yours the heart is still occupied with the same love? And then there is simply no room for new love in your heart YET. Even if you broke up a long time ago, there may still be something alive in your heart. love for ex-husband or lover(to your ex-wife or beloved). Live as a ray of hope for the restoration of relationships (what if?). Or that love can be a thorn in the heart and then your heart is taken pain because of that love.

And you are still looking for Him (or HER) in others who is similar to Him (Her). And you are happy when you find a similar man(woman) by gestures, appearance, voice, image, and simply transfer feelings from one person to another. This is called transfer.

But in this case, a similar or even worse relationship awaits you (repetition of the same situation or worsening of it). This is what I call “surrogate love.”

CLOSED SOUL.
I CAN NOT LOVE.

Closed people also find it difficult to create any relationships. As a rule, they have never loved anyone, are not ready to love and do not believe in love, But

How to accept loneliness? Some people think that "being single" is a bad thing. In the public this is interpreted as antisocial behavior and such people are often not accepted and misunderstood, but none of this is a bad or good position. In fact, being on your own isn't necessarily a bad thing because there are many benefits that come when you learn to embrace being alone.
The emphasis is not on extreme types of loneliness, such as going to live on a desert island. We will not talk about how good and useful it is to live alone, but about the fact that sometimes such moments happen in life and it turns out that a person remains alone. Them no less no one

can negate all the benefits and joys that come from genuine relationships with others. However, once you learn to enjoy being alone, you can seriously grow as a person.

Often, when we are surrounded by other people, we invest a lot of energy. We try to make others happy, make them laugh, support the ego of the people with whom we communicate, feel their emotions and do everything that happens during regular interaction with close and not so close people.
Constantly interacting with other people can be mentally draining. A little solitude allows you to “recharge your batteries” and take a break from the emotional and psychological charge (often negative)

2. You will think more about your life(it is very important!)

Life is constantly moving at high speed; years fly by, often we don’t even notice it. Everything happens so fast that you rarely actually have time to sit in silence and think about your life.
Solitude provides an excellent opportunity to think about everything.
With so much time invested in analyzing other people's thoughts and feelings, loneliness can be the best time to focus on the inner part of yourself.

3. Solitude provides an ideal opportunity to listen and think about our lives, about what we really want and what we don’t.

You will interact with your emotions When you are surrounded by other people, you are constantly trying to understand and respond to other people's emotions. Sometimes, to the point where you can end up losing touch with your own emotions. When you begin to enjoy solitude, you can gain greater perspective on your own emotions. You will become more deeply aware and understand what makes you happy, what upsets you and why

4. you feel sad. As you become more aware of your emotions, you will find it easier to regulate them. But it all starts with understanding how and what you feel in certain circumstances, for this you need to spend a little time alone.you will start doing

what you really love Being constantly in the company of other people, we always find compromises in order to find a solution that will come at the same time as the whole company. But, unfortunately, what you want does not always coincide with what the majority wants. Therefore, you can simply enjoy your solitude, you will begin to understand that this gives you more freedom to do what you want

5.really want it, without thinking about the opinions of others.

Being around other people is fun and interesting, but it can also have a serious impact on your productivity. There are times when the company of other people becomes a distraction from the work you want to do. Especially if it is a creative activity.
Time spent in solitude can be the most productive time of your life, mainly because there are fewer distractions so you can focus and do what you want.

6. You will enjoy your relationships with other people more

When you regularly spend some time alone, you begin to feel comfortable, you will begin to realize that you like to communicate with other people, and when it becomes uncomfortable, you can retreat. This happens because time spent alone makes it possible to realize the value of yourself and the people around you. Loneliness also gives you a sense of gratitude for all great things, which came from relationships with other people, about which You didn’t even think about it before.

7.You will feel more independent

Once you begin to enjoy being alone, you will feel more confident in your ability to be yourself, which will lead you to a greater sense of independence.
You are more you won't feel fear even if you don't someone to talk to. You won't feel the need to constantly interact with other people, or feel anxious when there is no one around you.

8.You will take a break from the constant desire to make everyone around you happy

Life is about relationships and most relationships last as long as both parties are happy. At one point, this can turn into exhausting work. This applies not only to close relationships, but also to friendships and relationships with employees, etc.
In moments of loneliness, all a person can worry about at the moment is himself. You may allow yourself things that make you happy that may have the opposite effect on someone else.

9.To you you won't have to apologize to anyone

When you begin to enjoy being alone, you will notice that you do not need to apologize to anyone for what you have done. Often, we do what other people don’t like and it affects their feelings, after which you you need to quickly apologize for this. When you are in solitude, you do not need to apologize to anyone or make excuses for anything. This relieves stress in many situations. Alone you don’t have to weigh every word and every step you take because you’re afraid that someone will be offended, angry or stop being with you communicate.

10. You will stop constantly seeking approval

We so often feel like we need to be supported by friends, family and like-minded people in all our endeavors. We are constantly looking for advice from other people about what we should do.
Of course, there are times when it is perfectly acceptable to seek advice when it is truly needed. However, there are times in which we are perfectly capable of acting alone, but we still expect the approval of others.
As you spend more time alone, you will learn to trust your instincts and make decisions without the need for approval from others.

Remember, you are not chocolate to please everyone!

Quite often, boys and girls hear that they should not be left alone. They must be with someone, have a relationship, and not be left alone. However, often love relationships fall apart, and the guy remains lonely. Here the fear of this “beast” arises, which society does not encourage. But is he really that scary?

Many people are afraid of their loneliness. However, they do not understand one thing: while they are afraid, they go even deeper into their condition. It happens that a person gets so used to living alone that even in a relationship he continues to be lonely. Psychologists suggest being calm about the fact that a guy can be either in a relationship with a girl or alone. There is definitely no need to be afraid of this.

How to love your loneliness?

A person cannot always be close to his loved one. There are relationships where two partners feel lonely. The fact of having a loved one does not mean that you will not get bored in a relationship, as you do when you are alone. This means that you already have something to love about your loneliness - because you are bored alone, and not together.

How to love your loneliness? You just need to stop treating it as a bad state of your life. Modern society says on every corner that you need to have a loved one. But this is a stereotype. Firstly, you won’t force yourself to love the first person you come across just to build a relationship with someone. Secondly, you are free to live alone if it is convenient. Let them live as people think. And you are allowed to live as you wish.

Treat your loneliness as a reason for not wanting to throw in your lot with the first candidate you come across.

In your loneliness, what matters is not whether you have a significant other or not. The most important thing for you should be how you feel about your condition. The main thing is not how people feel about your loneliness, but how you feel about it yourself. If you feel calm and comfortable, then why change anything? You don't have to live like everyone else if you feel good about living the way you live now.

How to love your loneliness? It is easier to do this once you are sure that your condition is beneficial. Which one? For example, you can spend time for yourself, your friends, doing things you love, traveling, etc. You can do whatever you want and not take into account anyone else’s desires and capabilities. You wanted it and immediately started doing it. Only a lonely (aka free) person can afford this.

Now imagine that you are with a partner who cannot support your interests. You need to either take his opinion into account or quarrel with him in order to allow yourself to realize your desires. Why such difficulties if you are alone and can afford everything?

There is no need to become an ardent fan of living alone. You are asked to love your loneliness only so as not to suffer until you meet your loved one. You can live and be happy being alone, and then meet a partner whom you truly love. Then you will have other concerns - how to build a harmonious and strong relationship?

Look for advantages and real opportunities not only in, but also in your own solitude.

Are you suffering from loneliness? It is unlikely that any woman will be interested in you if you are angry and mischievous. Loneliness is not a vice, but a temporary state. Please note that you have experienced similar periods more than once, which always stopped with the advent of a new partner. Why suffer if it is a passing condition?

There's nothing wrong with being alone. This is a period when you can take inventory of everything: feelings, emotions, your appearance, character, etc. You can finally get rid of unnecessary things and leave only what makes you happy. You can calm down, become yourself, tidy up your appearance, etc.

Try living alone as if you were in a love relationship. Do everything you would do if you were in a union with your loved one. Don't wait for a partner to show up. Already be happy and fulfilled, as if you have everything you need. Already live as if you were in a relationship with a woman.

Try to make a holiday out of your loneliness. This is the same natural period in life as the presence of a love relationship. Remember, even in a union sometimes you want to be alone, relax, calm down, come to your senses. Accept personal loneliness with gratitude, because you can finally devote time to yourself and do what is interesting. Be yourself, calm down, do interesting things and be happy, as if you have everything you need. Your loved one will soon join you. Moreover, it will be more consistent with your ideal ideas about a partner than would happen if you suffered and connected your happy life only with the presence of your loved one in it.

The Joy of Solitude

A person is often unhappy in his loneliness. This is customary in society, which says that a person should communicate with his own kind and only then will he be able to comprehend joy. This is why a person is afraid to be alone with himself: he does not know how to be happy alone, so he strives for people who will protect him from unpleasant thoughts.

But a person needs to be happy in himself. If, being alone or even among people, he experiences joy without any incentives or reasons, without anyone’s help, then he seems to be saying to those around him and the world: “I am happy anywhere. I am happy both among people and at home in solitude.” A person smiles because his soul smiles, he knows himself and is not afraid of this knowledge, he feels his inner joy or not joy and reacts according to his feelings.

A person who is happy on his own does not depend on anyone, but only on himself. If they say a bad word to him, he will not be offended if he hears criticism addressed to him, perhaps he will listen, but will not be upset. No external factors coming from other people, weather, work-related, etc. will have an impact on a person’s emotional and sensory state. And all this is due to the fact that a happy person in himself depends on the inner harmony, thoughts and state of his soul and mind. For those people whose mood fluctuates twenty times a day, their inner sense of self depends on what is happening in the outside world: where they are, who they communicate with, what people think about them, etc.

The joy of loneliness lies in being or being unhappy on your own. It does not depend on whether he is among friends, whether he has a loved one, whether colleagues respect him, or how he looks in the eyes of others. A person feels internally in high spirits, his thoughts and feelings mutually support each other, allowing him to feel joy.

The same mechanism applies here as with a person who is depressed, regardless of whether he is alone or in the company of people. Thoughts, self-awareness, internal mood and other factors make a person depressed. He may smile, but not for long, laugh a little, but then quickly return to his inner state, despite the fact that he is surrounded by dear people.

A person who is happy in himself feels inner joy in any place, in any team and under any circumstances. But only the person himself can choose what his inner mood will be - depression or happiness.

How can you ultimately make good use of your alone time?

A person very often finds himself in a state where he is bored, lonely, and has nothing to do. Either this is due to the destruction of a love relationship, or to dismissal or loss of a job, or simply to the fact that all the work has been done and now there is free time with nothing to occupy it. How not to get bored, but to spend your time of loneliness productively and usefully, regardless of the reasons for which it arose?

Engage in your development.

Spend time improving yourself: becoming more beautiful, well-groomed, well-read, smart, happy, healthy, etc. In fact, a person has something to work on. Everyone has flaws and weaknesses that need to be changed. You can pay attention to this issue in order to somehow eliminate your personality weaknesses.

Set clear criteria for what you want to have in the future.

Most often, a person is bored because he has no plans or goals for the future. Anyone who wants something from life simply does not have free time, since he always has worries that he must solve or accomplish in order to achieve his desired goals. The one who has no desires simply does not have any worries, therefore he is bored and suffers from idleness.

Set for yourself clear criteria for what you want to have in the future, because sometimes people have some desires, but they are so vague and superficial that they themselves cannot imagine how exactly they should be realized and present in their lives. To achieve something, you need to imagine your goal in detail. Once this is achieved, you simply will not have any free time until you achieve the realization of your desires.

Loneliness is the fruit of your own actions.

Don't complain or be offended. Everything you have in life is the fruit of your actions, desires and thoughts. Better love and enjoy your loneliness, which gives you the opportunity to live the way you want. Don't complain, take responsibility for everything that happens! Know that loneliness becomes unbearable because a person himself does not understand the value of this state.

If you are alone, it means that the people around you do not put pressure on you with their desires, demands, restrictions and rules. They left you alone. And you have the opportunity to live, do and do what interests you (not to someone else, but to you personally). You can finally be yourself, do things that interest you, start living the way you want, not someone else. See the value of solitude, which allows you to finally live in accordance with your desires, and not constantly feel pressure from others who want to force you to do what they want, without taking into account your interests.

In fact, loneliness is a natural phenomenon for any person, since we are separate from other people. We are already essentially loners, no matter how hard we try to get closer to others. Therefore, with your state of isolation and separateness, it’s time to become a habit, which is similar to breaking the “umbilical cord with your mother”, when you realize that you are an integral and separate person from another person.