What to do if you fall in love with a married girl - what to do? If you fall in love with a married girl ...
And in this situation, you can get a lot of trouble.
A married woman who agrees to, does not go for it because of the search for variety in sex, it is due to the fact that she lacks something in a relationship with, and lacks so much that she agrees to risk the existing relationship. And this is not a search for temporary entertainment. If a married woman also loves you, be prepared for the fact that she wants to legalize her relationship with you. She is not a mistress, she has already been chosen, paid a high price and evaluate herself lower and go to the "position" of a temporary friend, she is unlikely to want. So if you yourself are married, think carefully before whether you are ready to destroy your family for the sake of another woman.
Also, don't discount her husband. Few of the men will take the news of their wife's betrayal calmly, and it is very difficult to hide the relationship - some trifle will surely give you away. And you have every chance to become a hero and heroine of a criminal chronicle. Perhaps he will not do this himself, but will simply hire people, but this is not so important.
Therefore, if you are married a woman, you better love her as the knight loved his lady. If you truly love her, you will act in her best interest. You can help her gain more attention from her husband by provoking her husband into jealousy with light courtship. This way the woman will be happier, and this way you yourself will avoid trouble.
Sources:
- I love a married girl
Girls love to wear revealing outfits, such as plunging necklines and short skirts. Men like to look at an open female body. In this way, girls try to attract the attention of the guys. But sometimes a short skirt can be seen not only on a young beauty, but also on a married woman.
What girls dream about
To understand the question of why married women wear short skirts, first you need to understand why, in principle, girls wear such skirts. The answer suggests itself. A miniskirt is needed to attract the attention of men. By and large, this is how it is. After all, girls like to catch men's looks on themselves.
Thanks to this, they feel more beautiful, sexier, more desirable. Their self-esteem grows from this, and their mood improves.
Of course, other "tools" can be used to get all of the above. You can shine with intelligence, wit, sense of humor or charm. But a short skirt is the fastest way to get what you want.
True, not everyone understands that this effect of “quick cream skimming” is very superficial. With the help of such a skirt, the girl will not get what is hidden behind this desire to be liked. And behind it, usually hides, the desire to be loved. Girls want a guy in them, whom they can trust with all their secrets, complain about life's difficulties and receive support from him.
What married girls dream about
Imagine that the girl still found her prince and became his wife. And so she puts on a short skirt again. What does she want to achieve now? Well, there are several options here. First, she can be unhappy in marriage and thus declares this to the surrounding men. She, as it were, gives them a "green light". The girl is again in search, albeit with a ring on her finger. Secondly, a girl in this way can make her husband jealous, she wants to feel again that he still loves her.
In addition, she may unconsciously desire to receive these sensations from admiring glances.
But these answers all boil down to one thing. One way or another, the girl has an attention deficit from her own husband. Here, of course, you can immediately pounce on him with accusations. Like, why is he so her! The point may be in him. A man can be laconic, consider that he shows everything by his actions. Or in general, in the registry office he said that he loves, what else is needed ?!
But the main reasons that the husband does not notice the beauty of his wife, she needs to look in herself. Maybe she dresses and puts on makeup only before going out, and at home she walks in an unsightly old dressing gown with dirty hair. Or she "nags" him from morning to evening that he really does not feel more of his former feelings for her, not to mention the desire to compliment her.
One way or another, the conclusion about why he puts on a short skirt or shorts can be made as follows. All girls want to feel wanted and loved. And it doesn't depend on whether they are married or not. But with the help of what to achieve what they want, each decides independently. A short skirt will give you a quick and short-term effect, but you need to think carefully before using it if you are married.
Cheating on a man is far from pleasant, but quite understandable. People have long resigned themselves to this, because it is so physiologically laid that the strong half of humanity does not have the only power - to control sexual attraction to many women. But cheating on a woman is something out of the ordinary. This is not only a heavy blow to the pride of a man, but also condemnation from the majority of society.
Physiological reasons for cheating
All the reasons for which a married woman goes to can be divided into physiological and psychological. Intimate relationships between spouses play a huge role in family life. But sometimes in bed everything may not be as smooth as we would like.
Sexual dissatisfaction. It should be noted that this problem is far from the first among the reasons. If a man does not show due attention and sensitivity towards his wife or girlfriend, it is quite possible that she will seek satisfaction on the side, for example, from her lover.
Habit. Women who are accustomed to frequently changing partners can continue to follow their habit in marriage.
It is a misconception that only men need variety, because women also need it.
Genetic predisposition. According to scientists, the predisposition to cheating can be inherited. If such a “sin” was traced in the family for women, perhaps all the fault lies precisely with the genes. This is explained by the fact that being a living being, a person has a desire to find the best, for example, the best male.
Psychological reasons for female infidelity
Despite all of the above, the emotional component plays a greater role for a woman in a relationship with a man than physiological needs. So why does a married woman go to her lover?
Revenge. Probably, this is the most common reason for the betrayal of the beautiful half of humanity. Family loyalty is valued far more than men suspect. If a woman knows or even suspects her soul mate of infidelity, flirting and other types of male dishonesty, she will cheat too.
By doing this, she suppresses a huge sense of resentment in herself. As they say, a wedge is knocked out by a wedge.
Indifference. Male inattention is a strong blow to female pride. After all, she, devoted and faithful, needs to feel loved. And it's not about gifts and expensive restaurants, but just kind words, affection and care. If a man does not pay attention to his soul mate, the likelihood of betrayal on her part is high. In someone else's arms, a woman restores her self-esteem, proves to herself that she is still beautiful and desirable.
Cheating for love. Anything can happen in life, Cupid can shoot at. If the wife is in another, betrayal is possible by 95-100%. Love for women is a very strong emotional feeling. If this does happen, a complete breakdown in relations or marriage may well follow.
Of course, any betrayal is a betrayal. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to maintain mutual understanding, trust, care and attention in all areas in the relationship. Keeping love throughout life for one partner is difficult, but anything is possible!
I join Just Masha.
Life is long, everything can be in it. But at work, it’s better not to have an affair. Think about what you are at risk - the whole team will instantly be aware of your sighs, the information will reach the family very quickly - how much crap is impossible to convey. Two kids. Life will turn to hell. And as a maximum - you will have to leave work (if anything), or her. And your reputation will be the subject of ridicule and jokes for a long time. What for?
Well, fantasize as much as you like. You are just flirting, and already imagine a happy family with a new wife. ) Boy!
I would start by writing 70 sentences of what you will lose and how your life will change. You need to start with negative scenarios. The girl will be madly flattered by your attention, the family budget will be cut a little by spending on her, then she will play with you. Maybe she wants to stay with her husband. Or maybe you will bother her in a couple of years. Besides, you have - what a trailer!But if you really want to, then it is better to find girls in a neutral environment - not at work, or in a circle of acquaintances. So that there are no connections with your environment, a minimum of risks and responsibility.
Author. 5 years ago they told me about the same thing, well, except that my son (at that time was 4 years old) had a husband, my beloved was married, two children. They said a lot of things And that my child would be an orphan (fatherless), that they would drown me and leave me and all that .. They even said that I would go crazy and end up in a yellow house. But life goes on. My child communicates with dad as much as he can (and in the format in which he wants) and with the current man. Nobody left me. I can ALWAYS count on the father of my son. He's great. Does everything that is needed and the son largely on it. Including during my business trips, he fully provides it. Pays child support. And over the years (now his son is 9), he and his father are getting closer and closer. His father is in a new relationship now (not married, living together), a little strange from my point of view, but this is his life and he is quite happy for himself. As for my second relationship .. The man is divorced, we do not live together (due to a number of circumstances beyond our control and not related to divorce, etc.), but we are all free time together. Every day. All vacations and weekends. We have a common budget and so on. I can always count on him, my mother (and how she was against these relations I should only have seen) in him does not like a soul. And the son is not going smoothly. BUT .... Look how many topics when people did not dare to destroy their families and left for other realities (games, computer, alcohol, but at least work). Some heart-rendingly tried and are trying to improve relations with spouses. Like SUDDENLY we began to walk by the hand and project me - messages and everything went right and all the chicks bunches. I don’t believe in it. As well as the fact that I have not seen a single happy couple after the novels on the side. It all ends with anger at loved ones that I could not. Yes, and the wife's revenge has not been canceled (and who knows what it will be like). Many cannot communicate with children, because they perceive them as the cause of life's troubles. Many cannot communicate with their spouses, that is, de jure, the marriage has been preserved, all to the honor, but de facto, such a relationship is nah. Is it correct? Do I need to keep this. But while you still have an egg in your pope, and you are already dancing with a frying pan. You talk to your passion. Trying not to advertise. Chat tightly. Did she want to. Would you like to. It will be difficult, but will it be BAD, as they write to you, only you will know and only in your power to make it so that the bad is minimal. I do not call to "destroy the old world and on its fragments ..", but it is also not worth listening to what kind of tryndets you will make "if what". It should also be noted that the contingent (including myself) of the forum, for the most part, are aunties who have survived or are experiencing betrayal of their husbands. Good luck
Ask a psychologist
Good day! I am sure that many people have already contacted you with similar questions, but still, my situation may be exclusive. I met a girl. When we met, I learned that she already had a child. After a week of communication, I found out that she is married. I fell madly in love with a girl. I started to come to her work, it turned out we work in neighboring buildings. Drink tea, give small homemade gifts (postcards, a bouquet of napkins, etc.). But I already had the bitter experience of loving a married girl. And in the summer, after 3 weeks of communication, I told her that we need to stop our communication and left. She caught up with me and said that let's try what will come of it. I refused, but she insisted. And I gave up. We continued our communication. She went with her daughter to a sanatorium by the sea. I took time off from work and came to her. She was very happy. At sea, we had our first sex with her. At the sea, I learned that she had never vacationed at sea with her husband and child, they say he works, the vacation does not coincide, etc. My daughter did not leave me at sea, my Pasha said. That is, I have no problems with the child. After the sea, I asked her directly: what do you need for you to leave your husband? She replied that she had never thought about that. She said that she had never loved in her life. To my questions: why are you talking to your husband on the phone I love you, she answered, He is my husband. I did a lot of all sorts of surprises for her, gave a lot of gifts. Gave me a phone. She told her husband that she found a phone in a box in a minibus. She gives all soft toys to her daughter, although some are 1.5 times more than her daughter :) The most memorable act of mine from her words is when, after a quarrel, she removed me from friends, I wrote under her windows: Add to friends. At home, I hung her photographs on the entire wall with me. We have created an album where we store photographs from our trips, joint shopping trips. We had quarrels when she said that everything was the point, but she always asked for forgiveness and our relationship was renewed. So we met for 8 months. We got together in March to go skiing, but her daughter got sick and she refused to go. She is a secretive person, she does not always say what she thinks. And I think she was against my driving alone, but she didn't say anything. Since I was driving through the mountainous area on the train all day, I did not have the opportunity to call her. The next day was forgiveness Sunday and she posted a picture of forgiveness on my Vkontakte wall. I wrote her a message, forgive me for everything. She replied forgive. In the evening I called her, she hung up. Then she wrote that I had a rest, she didn't care about me as I didn't care about her yesterday (that day when I was on the way). We did not communicate for almost a week. Then at night she wrote that she had suspicions that she was pregnant (we had sex with her on February 21, she wrote a message on March 6, because her period was supposed to start on March 6, but there were no harbingers). On March 8, I ordered flowers to be delivered to her house (I gave flowers to her mother and daughter, so that my husband had fewer questions). She said that my mother was just shocked by the pleasant surprise. And she liked the flowers. On March 8, my husband gave only flowers, although he is nearby, and not like me 800 km away. She did the test and he showed the second strip barely visible. When I was returning to the city, she called and said that we needed to meet at my house, so that I could tell her in her eyes that I had not intentionally made her pregnant. I told her to come and meet me at the station. She did not come to the station, because said he was late. At home, she immediately burst into tears. I tried to hug her, said that I love her, said to calm down, because together we can handle it. She seemed to calm down, asked me to buy a test, he also showed a barely visible second strip. She began to blame herself for being stupid, without a head, for repeating the same mistake (she already had an abortion over a year ago). She said that she did not want to leave this child, as she was married. She is confused and does not know what to do. He told me to satisfy her with my hands, maybe this will help to break the pregnancy. When, during this process, from the influx of hormones and from separation from her, I began to hint at natural sex, she said that she did not want to, but I persuaded her. I told her that I would support her with all sorts of methods morally (to the extent that I would be with her all this time), financially (this procedure is still not free). She said that she would need financial support. She asked me to buy her tests and bring them to work. I brought it, but she does not want to communicate with me at all: she does not speak to me, looks as though through me. She was alone, but she did not utter a single word (if I were in her place, if I didn’t want to see me, I would have spoken out and kicked out, but she had no reaction at all). After lunch I came to find out what happened with the tests. She also continued to ignore me. She had a colleague in her office, so I could not communicate with her directly. I texted her, to which she replied Get out. I replied that I would leave as soon as she said the results. This is all prehistory. I always told her that I would accept her with my daughter. I kept repeating about my love, backing up my words with deeds. So the question is: What should I do? I know that this situation is wrong initially, but I love her madly and want to make her happy (according to her, she is not happy with her husband, she blames her mother for making her get married. When I asked if she loved her husband, she said no , but she cherishes it). So give me advice to fight for it, or should I leave this venture? I love her so much. I know that I am making a big mistake by strongly imposing on her, but I am afraid if I am not with her constantly, she will leave.
Hello Pavel!
You are absolutely right that you cannot force a person to love ... as well as be with someone else. The situation is such that you are free to decide for yourself, and she is for herself + daughter + husband. Therefore, the last word is hers. Do you have a big age difference? Maybe there are some values for you and others for her .... The fact that her husband did not give her anything except flowers does not mean that he does not love her. And for a woman with a child, as a rule, it is the interests of the child that are very important (of course, women do not always understand and defend them correctly). If her husband did not suit her as a husband, father, owner, person, a model of virtue - most likely she would have gone to you. But it seems to me that he does not suit her (or does not completely suit her) only as a lover. So she chose you for the role of the LOVER. And then ... Pasha, you know, cannot like everything in a person 100%. Surely her husband has disadvantages, but there are also advantages. But there are people who can put up with shortcomings and not notice them, and consider adultery humiliating for themselves, and there are people who believe that there is only one life and one must live it to the fullest! Both are entitled to respect. Apparently your girlfriend belongs to the second category. Respect her. Respect her choice.
However, you don't have to live your life as a lover. if you want your family and children. It is quite possible that after some time you will meet someone else ... with whom you want a family and she will answer in the same way ... And this does not mean that you betrayed love .... She has remained in her place. And you moved on in life.
Happiness to you!
Natalia Trotsenko, psychologist Vladikavkaz
Good answer 3 Bad answer 0Hello dear readers! Do you know what is the difference between sympathy and love? If we like a flower, we pick it, but if we love it, we water it every day, take care of it and cherish it in every possible way. This was not invented by me, but by one of the greats. And how much truth is in these words.
If you are reading this article, then you boldly admit to yourself and ask yourself a lot of questions: "I love a married woman, what to do." And in this case, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy, because further such confusion can turn around.
Now I will try to tell you what to do next, how to behave, what to do if you yourself are married. There will be many questions, so let's get down to business as soon as possible.
Measure seven times
First of all, you need to understand the truth of your feelings and make sure that you are ready for what comes next. This is a pretty big deal, especially if the married girl you love has a child. Too many people are involved in this situation, and if in the process you realize that the feelings were not entirely sincere, then it will be extremely difficult to return to the original one.
In no case am I discouraging you from an undertaking that you are about to decide on. Situations are different and I know thousands of examples when a marriage collapsed and true happiness was built on its ruins. After all, still others in love don't just appear. For this . However, first of all, you need to weigh everything and understand yourself.
Don't try to understand why you love this woman. You will never know the true answer. Love defies analysis. The only thing you need to make sure of now is the willingness to go through all the consequences together, despite the difficulties.
Of course, everything can turn as desired, life is unpredictable, perhaps your woman will choose another man in the end, even if you think that she loves you too. There are too many factors influencing the decision. At this stage, you must make a firm decision to change your own life for that.
Children's question
If your chosen one has children, you should think about them too. Even if everything goes well, she will probably want to communicate, and maybe live with them. If you are not ready to accept a woman with children or hope that she will abandon her child for the sake of a relationship with you, it is better not to accept any attempts to come closer.
You can only be held accountable for your own actions. Don't be under any illusion or make decisions for other people. Subsequently, this can become a serious cause for disagreement.
A woman is inseparable from her babies. Let not now, but a little later it will become a very important issue and problem. According to the girl, it will be you who are to blame for her. Isn't that a reason for that?
Your family
I repeat that you can only be held accountable for your own actions. If you have a wife, then before considering the idea as a woman, you must clearly determine that you want to leave the family. Admit that you can no longer continue to live as before and want to change everything or give up your idea.
There is a significant difference between "leaving the family" and "leaving for another woman." In the second case, you can become very disappointed when you start comparing and analyzing your past and present relationships. This is not worth doing at all.
If everything suits you and you just want to try something new, it will not end well. A little later, you will begin to reproach the new woman with the fact that for her sake you destroyed such a happy marriage, and after a while you yourself will believe in this idea.
You must understand that even if you don’t want or can’t live with a particular girl, it’s better to live alone. If you agree with this thought, then your decision is more meaningful. It will be more useful regardless of how the situation develops next.
Step forward
If, after all the reflections, you remain true to your decision, then it's time to talk to the married woman you like. This is already a question concerning two people, and only you together have the right to decide how to live further.
If you still have questions, it is better to seek personal advice from a psychologist.
I also recommend that you read the book "Life after Divorce" by Elena Elfimova... Your chosen one is facing a difficult period, if everything goes well, you will need to support and understand her. Men and women often speak different languages, so the book will definitely not be useless.
That's all for me. Until next time and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.
They say that this is their essence - an already established stereotype. Meanwhile, according to some sociological research, lovely ladies often cheat on representatives of the powerful. And all why? The answer is clear - they are unhappy with their lives.
Husband - Wife - Lover
Whatever they say, but nature has a family instinct in a woman, to be the keeper of the hearth in her genes. And if she is in a happy marriage, why should she go "left"? In his youth, bed pranks can somehow be attributed to, so to speak, sexual knowledge of the world and forgiven it. However, if a woman 30+ gets herself a lover, this is already a serious reason to think: “Why?”. Menage a trois (cohabitation of a woman with two men) is a rather explosive combination and can threaten the family with certain problems.
12. The perseverance of the gentleman... Throughout her life, every lady (whether she is married or not) has admirers in love with her from time to time. Someone, having received a refusal, sets off to look for a more accessible and free lady of the heart. But there are types for whom it becomes an obsession to conquer this particular woman. And they attack with the stubbornness of a maniac: flowers, restaurants, signs of attention, or sign up for her friends and wait for a convenient opportunity: who knows, maybe they will drink too much and give up, or they will simply surrender over time and give in, in a word, like hunters - they wait.
13. Of course, one cannot fail to mention about love... Having fallen in love, the ladies rush into feelings with their heads.
What to do?
Wife
You must admit that menage and labor for a woman cannot last long. As emotional creatures, ladies are experiencing the current situation and are in constant internal tossing. Almost all women want to live in love and harmony, to have a happy normal family. And it is clear that sooner or later you will have to make a choice. If a woman is satisfied with the current situation and even gets a certain pleasure from this triple union, then, apparently, here it is worth asking herself the question: "Which of the two do I love?" To be honest, I think the answer is: "Nobody." Here it is not mental impulses that dominate, but more mundane reasons for adultery and there is nothing to do.
To husband
Men are less tolerant of the spouse's adventures to the left than women in a similar situation. After all, they, by their nature, are far more proprietors. Therefore, upon learning about adultery, most of them immediately decide to deal with it. Everyone chooses his own path: someone immediately puts the sweetheart out the door or leaves himself, someone in revenge also goes on a love voyage, and someone decides to fight for a spouse. And the methods here are different: from the demonstrative ability not to notice the adventures of a life partner to "brushing her face" or "stuffing his face". What to choose? Will extreme measures work? What if the spouse regrets the "offended", and considers the husband a "rude animal"? Is it really possible to endure all this? It all depends on the character and feelings for the spouse. Or maybe she will become uninteresting to play extramarital games. In any case, it is worth doing "work on mistakes", to understand what is the reason. If the spouse did not have enough attention, then give her it, there was not enough sex - try to surprise ... But if self-esteem does not allow you to accept the situation, and you feel that you are unable to forgive the "traitor", then perhaps you should accept the sad, but correct separation decision. Otherwise, it will always stand between you.