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Interjections in English or how to fill in the pauses in a conversation with a foreigner? How to avoid awkward pauses in conversation when you have nothing to say

There are situations when you need to maintain a conversation with a person you see for the first time. Not only do you have to somehow start the conversation, but it still needs to be continued somehow. It is even worse if you have to conduct a dialogue with an absolutely uninteresting interlocutor. What to do when the conversation, to put it mildly, is not going well?

What I see is what I sing about

Take a look around. What surrounds you at this moment? Any phrase can become a stick that kindles a fire of conversation: about the design of the room you are in, about what is happening outside the window, or even the question "what is the password for wi-fi."

A classic example: "Today is beautiful weather, isn't it?" The main thing is not to complain in any way. When you see a person for the first time, this is not the best time to express any negativity.

Search for common interests

To be aware of the events taking place in the world means to be able to maintain a conversation with any person. Before the meeting, it will not be superfluous to look at the informational summaries for the day or the last week.

They will be a real life buoy for your conversation. If an awkward pause suddenly arises, you can choose an event and ask the other person's opinion about it. As a last resort - to tell the details and to enlighten the person about what is happening in the world.

The right questions are the right answers

You need to try to ask such questions so that you can get extensive answers to them. Options such as "what are you hobbies about" or "what do you do in life" will do.

Questions like these help a person focus on one particular object. It can be home, work, family, hobby. The interlocutor feels more relaxed when talking on topics familiar and close to him.

Language will bring to Kiev

Asking questions that simply cannot be answered with yes or no gives you an added advantage. All that is required is to listen carefully to the interlocutor. Since on the basis of the received answer it will be possible to form new leading questions.

Initiative is not punishable

If the “partisan” continues to stubbornly keep silent, it’s time to show your own initiative. We begin to bombard the interlocutor with questions in order to find out as much information as possible about him: about his hobbies, interests, worldview, habits.

It is no secret that each of us loves to please his ego, so he is unlikely to give up once again to his beloved. Here are some good questions: "What books do you read?" They will help you learn a lot about the person and bring the conversation out of the pit of silence.

Let's play with facial expressions

Listen to the interlocutor and "play along" with him. If he tries to joke, even if it's not funny, at least smile. You don’t have to be overwhelmed if you don’t care who won Chelsea or Spartak, but raising your eyebrows a little is not that difficult.

However, this medal also has a downside. There are those comrades who, as soon as you begin to listen to them attentively, change the subject of the conversation drastically or altogether. Thus, there may be an awkward pause again.

What to do when all efforts to keep the conversation going are dwindling?

There is no chance. You can relax and state this fact with peace of mind with a phrase a la: "Come on with some garlic: the conversation is not going well today." Of course, this is an extreme measure. But it can work!

Personally, I'll take note of this interesting method. And you?

Can you remember a time when during a date with a girl you talked about everything, and there was an awkward pause in the conversation? Or sometimes you yourself do not know how to choose a topic for conversation that will really interest a girl? Previously, this also happened to me, which is why I began to develop in this business.
The tips below will help you avoid awkward pauses in your conversation with your girlfriend, make your conversation interesting, and possibly hear words like, “You're so awesome! You won't get bored with you! "

Here are some general principles for building the right conversation with a girl, and indeed with anyone.

1. Remember to be original. Of course, this is banal advice, I just mean that it is not worth talking only about work, school and the weather. This is usually boring. Unless your profession is a producer, or she is a student at the Institute of Astronautics.

2. All men, in general, conduct a conversation logically and rely on facts, and for girls the most important is the emotional state - experiences, feelings. Try to be emotional. When talking about your walk on the beach, for example, remember how pleasantly the wind blew, how the sun made you squint your eyes, how the sand crumbled under your feet. Mention what you felt at that moment, what you thought about. Do not forget to pay special attention to the little things, this is of great importance, so the day may come when you want to return the girl, and the main thing is to catch and interest her.

3. If you are just starting to communicate with a girl, talk about her and about yourself. This is the easiest way to reach the first level of trust.

4. Think about what life stories you want to tell. Such stories should be prepared in advance, even if they are not from your life. They should be unusual, funny, bright. And, if there is an awkward pause, tell one of them.

5. When asking questions, compose them in such a way that the answer should have been expanded, not just "yes" or "no". This way you can start an interesting conversation. For example, ask how she spent her summer, or what day she thinks is the happiest in her life.

6. Make a list of ten topics that you are really interested in. Weave them gradually into the conversation. These can be trips (tell us where you have been and ask where she has been), rest (talk about where you like to spend your free time and ask her about it), first love, and so on.

7. Don't be afraid to dream with your girlfriend. Ask what she would like to make if she caught a goldfish or won a million. Think of a few more such extraordinary questions. In general, there is such a thing as made up memories, or memories of the future - a very powerful thing for programming a positive attitude.

8. Talk about sex. This is a very powerful topic that will bring you closer together. But you can only talk about sex when there is already a certain level of trust between you. Ask about her first experience and tell us about yours, discuss what turns her and you on the most, what she would do if she became a boyfriend for a while. Topics like this will excite both of you.

9. Try to play the question game. Ask each other questions about any topic. You can't lie, refuse to answer, repeat questions. Ask the first question. As a rule, in this game, the topic of sex begins from the third question. You don't have to play this game, you can try any other.

10. If things are going really badly, try using mind games. There are many of them - a cube, metaphors, routines. All of them are described in detail on Google, as well as in this article. how to talk to a girl

11. Develop your word generator, or delusional generator. This is a versatile skill that allows you to quickly and easily find common themes with both girls and everyone around you. Only after reading the article, you will not be able to learn this skill, but in RMES there are many exercises for its development.

12. Make your life interesting. Change your routine and start some exciting new hobbies. This is perhaps the most important piece of advice. When your weekend is unexpected and exciting, you can suddenly break out with friends and go skiing, return to your city in the evening, drink a couple of glasses of whiskey in a posh establishment, talking about plans for the future. The next day, let's say you have a delicious breakfast and go to the pool with friends. After you swim and cheer up, you call your friend and offer to go to the center, take a walk and at the same time try out his new DSLR. There you accidentally meet beautiful girls. You returned home, took a shower, dressed stylishly and went to a nightclub, where you have been invited for a long time, but there was still no time to go. There you met with friends and girlfriends whom you have not seen for a long time. You discussed many interesting topics about what happened to you and to them during the time until you saw each other. Good music, booze, nice people who don't think about Monday. On Sunday you can go to the cinema for the premiere, and after that talk in a cozy cafe with the girl who was sitting next to you, discuss the movie you just saw. After you talk about the premiere, admit it, you will find many more common themes.

I think this is an example of a perfect weekend. One can argue about what, where, and how to do it, but this is already the lyrics. You need to rest properly, tastefully and, most importantly, not at home on the couch.

Whether you are a smart introvert or an extravagant extrovert, there will always be strange and uncomfortable moments in a conversation when you just run out of words and an awkward silence ensues. Sometimes, when searching for the right words, you can get a little panic. This happens when we are not familiar with a certain person or group of people, and we need to find common points of contact and topics in the conversation. By the way, for this, the following techniques will help not only socially when making new acquaintances, but also professionally.

1. Do not try to have only "entertaining" conversations.

Many people believe that when communicating, you always need to joke or behave too loosely. In fact this is not true. Communication doesn't have to always make sense. Don't feel like wanting to say a thing is wrong. Of course, this concerns any little things, and not the secrets of the Universal scale. Say what you think and just be yourself.

2. Ask the questions you are interested in about the life of the interlocutor

People generally like to talk about themselves. Not because they are selfish, but because this is a fairly simple topic. Asking questions shows your level of personal interest and makes the other person feel important. Watch the person's behavior as you ask questions. For example, if he looks too tired, ask him what he did yesterday. Ask where he bought any item from his wardrobe, for example a tie or a skirt, and tell him that you have been looking for a similar thing for a long time. Do not ask questions that can be answered in monosyllables "yes" or "no." Remember that your goal is to get the person to talk as much as possible.

3. Talk about food

Not everyone knows about the latest technological inventions, but everyone loves to eat deliciously. If you're sitting at the same table, this is an easy way to start a conversation by starting to comment on food. You can expand the topic by talking about different cuisines. The food theme is completely simple and versatile.

4. Paraphrasing will help you

Conversations can sometimes get stumped if you don't know what to answer. When you have little knowledge of the subject, it can be difficult to express your opinion. A good technique in this case is that you can paraphrase what the other person said. Remember his last words and say exactly the same thing, but in a different wording. It also shows that you are involved in the conversation and listen carefully to what he has to say.

5. Tell something about yourself

This advice may sound confusing, especially for introverts. However, sharing small things about yourself can help spice up a conversation that has stalled. The person is more likely to remember awkward silence when talking to you than what you ate yesterday or what new gadget you bought. The idea is to be confident in yourself.

Of course, all these hints will not magically make you an interesting interlocutor, but they can help you if you yourself want to. Do not scare the other person with your pressure if you are used to too lively conversations. Not everyone likes it. Remember that you are looking for a simple and easy way to communicate, and don't overdo it.

If you are just taking the first steps in a pickup truck, and there is not a lot of experience of communicating with girls, the question naturally arises, what to talk about with a new girlfriend. After all, when for the first time, a lot of all sorts of nuances arise: since she is to you, you start to worry, and because of this, communication does not stick well.

Therefore, before the meeting, it is better to have a plan in mind: what, what you can catch on to in communication, where to lead it and how to avoid awkward pauses.

The first question that you should ask yourself is: "For what purpose am I going for a walk now, and what exactly do I want from a girl?" This is very important! Why do so many dates end with nothing? The guy likes the girl and he meets completely aimlessly in fact, he does not know what to do, and where to direct his communication. Girls feel this insecurity very well, and they quickly become bored and uninteresting.

For example, you say to yourself: I like this girl. At the meeting, I want her to be interested in me. I want to get close to her and kiss her. Ultimately I want to have sex with her.

And when goals are set, you can carry on the conversation in a certain way. What kind of communication can lead to sex? Obviously not a discussion of their hobbies, and who is studying for whom.

Therefore, flirting should be present in your communication. And the initiative for this flirting must come from you.

Interesting topics for conversation with a girl

  • Her appearance... After you've greeted her, hugged her and kissed her, you can pay attention to her appearance. For example, say that she has a cool topic with an interesting print, and start discussing it, what does that mean. In this case, you drive her into the evaluative framework, and she already begins to think how you like it, and that there may be something wrong in her.)
  • Extreme sports... Tell her how you are doing road jumping, how cool it is and what emotions you feel while doing it. Suggest that she try it too. Your girlfriend will present all of this and begin to experience emotions. What's the most important thing on a date? Emotions!
  • Tell about any a cool or interesting incident from your life in which you found yourself with your girlfriend. That is, you talk about the situation and, as if in passing, mention that there is at least one more woman in your life. This immediately creates competition for you in the girl's head. For example: a friend drove me to a date, and we saw such a terrible accident .. and then blah blah blah ... the emphasis is on the incident, but the girl will immediately notice that you have a friend who is also doing something for you.
  • Ask, how would she behave in a given situation... An example of a situation should also be provocative. For example, you are sitting in some institution, and you ask: how would you behave if that girl over there came up to me and asked me to dance? It doesn't matter what she says. The main thing is that the necessary mental image has already been created in her head, which also works to compete for you.
  • Tell me about your travels... Where have you been and what you have seen. About the most memorable moments. Ask her the same. By the way, this is a good test of the girl. Usually, people who have not been anywhere, and they do not even have such a desire, turn out to be rather withdrawn and boring. Why do you need a girl who has little interest in anything?

Topics for conversation with a girl in VK

I do not recommend delaying it. Try to take the girl's phone number as soon as possible and arrange to meet in real life. In VK, it is quite difficult to maintain a conversation at the desired degree, and it is pointless. If the girl does not give the number and breaks down, forget about her and go to another.

How to communicate with a girl

An equally important point. After all, if you use all of the above points, but are unsure of yourself and boring, then no, even super interesting and intriguing topics of conversation will help you. Therefore, keep in mind, it is important not even WHAT talk, and HOW talk.

Communicate with your girlfriend confidently. Do not curry favor with her. Don't try to please her.

Imagine that during your communication you mentally give her a gift. In the form of positive energy, good mood, interesting information. See how her reaction has changed.

As you gain experience, you will have less and less questions about how to find topics for conversation with a girl in real life, on the Internet, on VK, by phone, yes in all situations. It's like boxing. When you come to training for the first time, your hands do not obey, everything works out just barely. But after a few months of regular training, you have already delivered a blow, you defend yourself well, and do not think about your every action. So here, you stop worrying about how to start a conversation and what you can talk to a girl about.

Run out of topics for communication with a girl?

Keep a few more options:

  • Ask about a dream.
  • About whether he knows how to cook. You can make a good joke here)
  • "What do you want to become when you grow up?")
  • Talk about women's and men's fashion.

That's all. Good luck!