The man restrains his feelings. How men show their feelings. I often hear compliments from friends about who I am.
You absolutely know that a young man is secretly not indifferent to you, but for some reason stubbornly hides his feelings? Or maybe this is just a game of imagination? How do you know that he is really in love? We will tell you why men hide their sympathy so carefully. You will learn how their true feelings can be determined by their behavior, gaze, gestures and body language.
Here are some of the most common reasons men tend to hide their feelings:
- He has a girlfriend or wife. The most common and common reason. The guy already has someone and he does not want to break off a comfortable relationship for the sake of another girl, even if he really loves her. Articles that will be useful to you:,.
- In the male world, it is customary to be restrained, to be able to control yourself and your emotions. Showing interest or love means for a young person to show his weakness. He has no right to be weak under any circumstances. It's different for women. When a guy is interesting to us, we try to show it. A man prefers to do everything consistently and does not waste his energy on silly fantasies. Even if the relationship does not go beyond the intimate one, he will be restrained in showing his interest.
- Unsuccessful experience. Having gone through a difficult breakup, men do not seek to re-tie themselves in any way. It is much easier for them to meet without being constrained by any obligations. Some even become reclusive.
- A man lives alone for a very long time. He is independent, his own master. He is so used to it, he is so comfortable. Therefore, he begins to perceive a woman as something capable of disrupting his established life. For her sake, the guy will have to change his foundations, habits, but he does not want to do this.
- He's not sure about his feelings. Or maybe this is not love at all, but just fleeting sympathy? Then why find it? It will pass, and that's the end of it. And we women, suffer, suffer, think what is going on in his head.
- A man is subject to stereotypes. For some reason, in their male world, it is believed that the more restrained and colder a young man behaves, the more a woman will fall in love with him. This is actually a big mistake. Do not abuse indifference, no matter how persistent your principles may be.
- The guy is afraid of being rejected. The young man thinks, is it necessary to take the first step? What if he's not good? What if the sympathy is not mutual? Even confident men can be timid and shy at such a moment. In this case, they prefer to be silent and pretend that the girl is indifferent.
Key signs that he is secretly in love
Of course, everything is individual, but there are common signs:
The man began to actively monitor his appearance, take a shower more often, comb your hair, visit the gym, smell of expensive or not very perfumery - all this indicates a desire to impress a woman.
She talks about herself with pleasure. A young man in love will never miss the chance to tell about himself, his hobbies and passions. He may even start bragging about his accomplishments. Thus, he makes it clear that the woman matters to him, and he would like her to get to know him better.
Listens carefully. The young man will listen with pleasure, show interest in your words, life and needs. He has a desire to help, to show concern. Even if he does not shower you with expensive gifts, he will try to please in other ways.
In addition, your fan will try to find out as much information as possible about you. But since he wants to hide his feelings, he will do it secretly.
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Showing aggression is a possible sign of love. It sounds paradoxical, but it is. Sometimes a guy tries to hurt a woman as painfully as possible, even offend her. Thus, he is trying to attract your attention.
Another reason for aggressive behavior on the part of a man may be excessive pressure and obsession on your part. A man perceives such behavior as an encroachment on his sovereignty and independence. If a man wants a relationship, thinks about it, then he seeks to manage the situation himself.
A man in love is betrayed by behavior. We have collected.
It is also helpful to take a closer look at it. They, too, can tell a lot of interesting things about his feelings.
A man in love is jealous. If one or more applicants for her heart begin to revolve around the object of his love, then he may also begin to behave aggressively. He wants to win you back from other fans. Whether this happens openly or secretly depends on the man.
He flirts actively with others. In your presence, a man can calmly flirt with another woman, thereby, on the one hand, showing his indifference, and on the other, trying to make you jealous. A man, oddly enough, also sometimes wants to get proof of your feelings.
The guy shows indifference. In a general company, a man will not show attention, trying to avoid glances, meetings and general topics. It's simple: if he himself is not sure of his feelings, then it makes no sense to show them in the presence of other people.
Has the young man begun to appear more often in your field of vision? This definitely speaks of his interest. The reasons for its appearance can be the most stupid. For example, because his horoscope predicted so. He will not name the true reason for anything. After all, he still does not know whether the woman will reciprocate to him.
Does the man try to approach or touch at every opportunity? This fact can speak not only of falling in love. It is also an indicator that a man is sexually interested in you. He will be very tactful in his manifestation, he will try not to offend. For men, the first intimate contact with a woman they love is just as exciting as for a woman.
Useful video on the topic:
What to do if you notice signs of falling in love with a man
If you like a guy, then the surest step is. If it's all about some of his fears or complexes, then he will feel bolder and take the first step.
If you hinted to him, and he still keeps his distance, then he has some serious problems. Perhaps it should.
Surely every girl at least once in her life thought about why a man hides his feelings for a woman. When a man is truly in love, but hides it, it is important to remember that he is afraid of being rejected or ridiculed. That is why, in such situations, men become gentle, sensitive, vulnerable and indecisive. Let's try to figure out how a man hides his feelings for a woman.
Signs that a man is hiding his feelings
In order to determine the attitude of a man, it is important to observe how he behaves with the object of sympathy.
- Opened in. If a man is in trusting contact with a girl, talks freely about his life or family, he is clearly not indifferent. We advise girls not to miss such a great chance to get to know him better and get useful information. When a person feels that they are interested in him, he opens up faster.
- When a man is interested in a girl, he becomes a very attentive listener and tries not to miss a single detail.
- Flawless appearance. Buying new things, perfume, playing sports, a carefully chosen image are signs that a man is in love.
- Another sign of falling in love is caring and attention from the male side. When a man is infatuated, he tries to help the object of sympathy.
- A man in love begins to think about increasing income and additional sources of income.
- He tries to please his passion.
- Of course, you can notice the courtship on the part of the man.
- A man suffering from passion tries to spend as much attention as possible with a girl, looking for reasons to meet.
- Also, a man can "give out" his sympathy with gestures and facial expressions. For example, during a conversation with a girl he likes, he will touch the belt or put his hands on his hips. Unconscious reduction of distance and even violation of personal space also refers to this behavior. In addition, a man's gaze will tell a lot, he rarely takes him aside and is completely absorbed in his interlocutor.
Why do men hide their feelings?
Men differ from the fair sex in their behavior. By their nature, they are inherent in rationality, not emotionality. From childhood, many parents bring up their sons in such a way that real men do not cry, they need to stay strong in any situation, and tears, like tenderness, are a sign of weakness and "girly" behavior. That is why a man in love often hides his feelings about the object of sympathy and love.
The rigidity of character is a kind of defensive reaction of a man. He is simply afraid to show his weakness, he is afraid to be vulnerable. Often, representatives of the stronger sex worry that after hearing a confession of love, the girl will simply lose her interest. 
In addition, a man can hide his own, because previous unsuccessful relationships caused psychological trauma, remained an unpleasant aftertaste in the soul, and at present he is afraid to reveal himself and plunge into new relationships. This fear can haunt a man for a long time.
I would like to give the following advice to the representatives of the stronger sex: if you are really in love, do not be afraid to take risks and show your feelings to the object of love. Women love decisive men. At least, after the girl realizes that the man is not indifferent, it will become clear whether it is possible to hope for further development of the relationship, or whether she will make it clear that you will not become "the hero of her novel."
No wonder they say that a woman and a man are from different planets: they think, feel and express their feelings in different ways. At the moment when a woman strives with all the fibers of her body for a serious relationship, a man keeps an emotional distance, trying to hide his feelings.
Sometimes it seems to you on a subconscious level that he is in love with you, but for some reason he does not admit it. Why does the stronger sex tend to hide their feelings? What prevents him from crossing the line and entering into a serious relationship? And how can you even tell that this guy is not indifferent to you? Let's try to figure it out.
A woman just needs to be aware that she is loved and appreciated. Gentle words, passionate hugs, beautiful deeds are needed by any girl like air. Without showing feelings, she simply withers, and at any stage of the relationship.
There can be many reasons why he does not admit his feelings to you. Let's consider the most common ones.
Fear of rejection. Even a successful, self-sufficient and self-confident man sometimes becomes timid and shy. Fearing that his sympathy will not be mutual, he will prefer to pretend that he is completely indifferent to you.
The habit of living alone. He was simply used to being a bachelor. A sort of independent alpha male, he likes to live like this, and he is not going to change his foundations and habits for you.
Unsuccessful experience. Perhaps your chosen one does not admit his feelings, because he went through a difficult break for him. Men who have this experience in their lives often try not to shackle themselves with serious obligations.
Restraint in emotions. This is a kind of stereotype that a man should be restrained and not emotional in any matters. All high feelings, be it sympathy or love, are perceived as weakness. And since a man is a stronger sex, he will try not to show interest in you to the last. In particular, so as not to become famous as a weakling in the circle of friends.
Lack of confidence in your feelings. If the guy himself cannot figure out what he feels for you - fleeting sympathy or high feelings, then you certainly can not expect recognition in the near future.
Fear of becoming henpecked. A representative of the stronger sex often has a fear that if he confesses his love, then his chosen one will begin to manipulate him and use his feelings.
Method of protection. In fact, guys are sensitive, and sometimes very vulnerable. Therefore, the secrecy of feelings in this case can be regarded as a kind of armor that protects a sensitive nature.
Psychological fact!
At the moment of conquering a woman, a man has a large release of endorphins, and he experiences a feeling similar to euphoria. And when a woman needs to move to a more serious level of relationship, the man experiences stress and physiological discomfort. That is why men often run away from serious relationships.
A man in love is one who loves to look at a sleeping woman and enjoy her from time to time.
Frederic Beigbeder
Signs of falling in love with a man
If you are vainly trying to find a hidden meaning in certain actions of a man, trying to see feelings in his eyes that he does not admit, then pay attention to his behavior next to you. And although every man is individual, there are still some common signs of falling in love. Let's consider them in more detail.
Keeps track of his appearance
If a man begins to treat his appearance more scrupulously - to go to the gym, pay more attention to his hairstyle, dress up, and he starts to smell expensive perfume, then you can be sure that he is not indifferent to you!
She talks a lot about herself
As soon as he begins to fall in love with you, you will immediately learn a lot about him, and he will tell you about his many positive qualities. A man, like a peacock, begins to "fluff up his tail" and do everything to please his chosen one.
If he told you about all his achievements, told about the noble deed he had done, played the guitar and recited a poem he learned in the third grade - do not hesitate, his thoughts are only occupied by you!
Shows care
A woman for a man in love is a crystal vessel that he protects day and night. He has an irresistible desire to help and take care of his companion. So if a guy on a cool spring evening, as if by chance, threw his jacket over your shoulders - this is a good sign!
Thinks about material well-being
The man began to think about financial stability? It is likely that the idea of creating a family crept into his head.
When I do not say anything, this is a good sign: it means that I am intimidated. And when I am shy, this is a very good sign: it means that I am embarrassed. And when I am embarrassed, this is a very good sign: it means that I am in love. But when I fall in love, it’s a very bad sign.
Frederic Beigbeder
In addition to clearly expressed non-indifference, a man can give out unconscious signs. He can deceive you and hide his sincere feelings, but he certainly will not be able to deceive sign language. Remember, he may not admit anything to you at all, his postures, facial expressions and gestures will say for him everything that he thinks about you.
Psychological fact!
A person in love has unstable behavior. The mood is constantly changing - from sadness and thoughtfulness to joy and fun.
Sign language of a man in love
The body of a man in love always looks a little tense and constrained.
He is often shy and worried, and a sign of this will be shaking hands and sweating palms.
A man involuntarily tries to demonstrate his body - he straightens his shoulders, showing off and thereby attracting the woman's attention to himself.
If a woman is attracted to him sexually, then during the period of communication with her, he will now and then touch his thighs and put his hands on the belt.
A man, when talking with his beloved woman, almost always on a subconscious level tries to reduce the distance. For a reason and without a reason, he tries to get closer, penetrating into his personal space.
The look of a man in love
Unconscious glances of a guy in love towards his object of adoration. If a young man is interested in a girl, then he will admire her. And realizing that it is simply indecent to consider a woman so intently, he, as a teenager, will hide his gaze and avert his eyes.
So if your companion is not a special agent, then you will definitely notice how he looks at you, unconsciously holding his gaze on your lips. And even though these glances will be, as it were, surreptitiously, you will still notice them for sure, since they will be very frequent.
I believe! These eyes don't lie. After all, how many times have I told you that your main mistake is that you underestimate the value of human eyes. Understand that the language can hide the truth, but the eyes can never!
Mikhail Afanasevich Bulgakov
The inner world of a man is very simple, laconic, understandable, but not for a woman. Intuitively, yes, but not logically. Here's how, for example, can she understand a man who is definitely in love, but behaves like an insensitive chump or a frozen penguin? And after that, the guys claim that it is women who make life difficult? Why hide your feelings and why you can't come up and say: “I like you, let's live happily ever after and die one day when we hit a hundred!”? No, he is tormented, but he is silent. And try to find out why he hides his feelings? Let's try, find out and investigate the signs that give out a man in love.
Sign 1. Behaves like a stupid "sheep"
It’s a little offensive, but this is true, which Agatha Christie subtly noticed: “If a man is in love without any pretense, his gaiety and pompous gallantry dissolve without a trace. He is more like a sheep. " Of course, this does not apply to every man, but many lose all sanity, and even adequacy in the presence of the object of their love. Fortunately, such a state in its pure form is not often observed. Mostly men in this category show tension, awkwardness, fussiness, generated by the fear of not being liked. The overestimated importance of the situation brings them down. Here the law of meanness is triggered, and in order not to go nuts, the vulnerable male psyche "falls" into extremes: stupor or bravado.
Sign 2.Matamorphosis occurs with his voice and speech
Verbal signs are one of the most eloquent, and it's not just the content of what has been said. A man's speech can be stupid, incoherent and inappropriate, although he, for example, is usually famous for his oratory. Also, a man is able to unconsciously manipulate his voice, making it softer, more pleasant, more courteous. Or he can chat incessantly, or be silent, like a partisan under interrogation. If a man knows how to control himself in exciting situations, he will still betray his feelings by striving to ask more about the woman, or talk about himself.
Sign 3. It turns into a solid "ear"
A man in love becomes such a "big ear" - an ideal interlocutor who knows how to listen and hear. He will definitely remember the remark thrown by a woman in passing about what kind of masculine scent she likes, or what she likes to have breakfast, or what transport she gets to work. And the very next day, a man who smells like "Antonio Banderas" meets a woman at a bus stop near work with her favorite croissants and Mocacchino. Isn't this love? Perhaps not every man in love and hearing will understand to materialize at least the small dreams of a woman, but he will definitely allow her to speak out, which only a man in love can do.
Sign 4. His eyes are the mirror of a soul in love
What is reflected in this "mirror" depends on the disposition of the woman. If a man fears that his love will be rejected, or feels unworthy of a woman, his eyes will express the look of a loyal but beaten dog. But if a man is full of hope and confidence, you can easily read courage, decisiveness, flirting or intrigue in his eyes. Unfortunately, the gaze of a man hiding his feelings is not so eloquent. However, he can also be "caught" in love if he holds his gaze for a long time, for example, on the lips of a woman, or, conversely, averts his eyes when communicating with a woman, blushes or is embarrassed.
Sign 5. Becomes a gallant gentleman
Men in love express their feelings in two extremes - indifference or excessive (and sometimes obsessive) attention. Moreover, everyone does this, both those who are not ashamed of their feelings, and those who hide them behind seven locks. But there is also a golden mean - a noble gentleman who will open the door for a woman and give a handle and take care to make life easier for a woman. If a man does this without a shadow of interest on his face, of course, he can be suspected simply of good upbringing, but no woman will confuse good manners with the gallantry of a man in love.
Sign 6. Pays increased attention to his appearance
It is a well-known fact that men are much less fashionable than women. They don't really like to follow their appearance either - with age, men, as a rule, look older than their peers. Men in love are another matter. It was as if a "program" was put into their heads - to be beautiful, well-groomed, fit, fashionable. And even those men who do not lag behind women in the ability to look after their appearance, in a state of love, begin with redoubled agility to visit gyms, clothing stores and even beauty salons, which were previously considered a female "paraffia". They are eager to please the woman they like, even if she doesn't even know about it.
Sign 7. Jealous and demonstrates ownership
When a man is secretly in love, he considers a woman already his own, even if she does not know either by sleep or spirit about his feelings. He does not tolerate when other men show heightened signs of attention to her, and can betray himself with aggressive behavior, both towards the suitors who have encroached on his "property", and towards the woman who allows other men to flirt with her or openly molest her. If a man realizes that he is wrong, he will deliberately avoid the woman so as not to betray his feelings.
Sign 8: Jokes ridiculously or acts like a clown
Hiding behind humor or playful behavior has been the custom among men since childhood, when they did not know how to deal with suddenly surging feelings for a classmate. Then humor, jokes and other kinds of tomfoolery often became salvation and a reliable cover. A model of behavior has developed, and for many men it has become entrenched, remaining leading in the tactics of communicating with women in adulthood. A man can tell stupid jokes, play out of place, joke inappropriately, etc. He cannot understand that he looks like a jester in the eyes of a woman. Unfortunately, the mask is visible only to the one who looks at it, but not to the one who hides behind it.
Psychologist Elena Tsitrava
Anna BasisWomen and men seem to live in different dimensions. We do not understand the actions, goals, feelings of each other.
A man, no matter what feelings a woman evokes in him, behaves with restraint. Temperament, upbringing, and past relationships with the opposite sex also play a role.
Having started a relationship, a man works even harder, striving to ensure a decent life for his chosen one. He does not stop meeting with old friends, does not abandon his favorite pastime (fishing or playing games on the computer). A man simply introduces one more item into his routine - a beloved woman and her problems.
The woman is completely surrendered to the new feeling. Work, friends, household chores fade into the background.
In addition, shyness and confusion are characteristic of a man in love. The environment ceases to recognize him. If earlier a self-confident man behaved boldly and showed pressure and determination in all endeavors, then during meetings with his beloved woman he feels insecurity and even fear.
Men are stingy with the expression of emotions. They do not strive for a serious relationship until they earn enough capital to live, make a career.
How do you know how a restrained man feels?
Does a woman need to "elicit a secret"? Constant questions "Do you love me?" or "How do you feel about me?" bored, and cause nothing but discomfort and embarrassment.
It is important for a woman not to rush a man. Male love is expressed in a hundred other nuances, and words are not that important. If a man is not yet confident in his chosen one, and has not established one emotional wave with her, constant questioning will scare off and break the relationship that is just beginning.
Time is an unmatched helper if used wisely.
Women freely express resentment, anger, or joy. They constantly want attention, care, need a strong male shoulder.
Why are men different?
Reason # 1. Social stereotypes
Society is merciless towards expansive men. Ever since childhood, the boy understands: having broken his knee, one cannot give vent to tears, because "men never cry." A mature man is ashamed to tell his friends that he is not going to a football match or fishing because the woman he loves asked for help with shopping.
For many centuries, the opinion has reigned that a man should be strong, silently endure pain (emotionally and physically). Love is a vulnerability that has no place in the life of a representative of the strong half of humanity. Society treats overly expansive men rather negatively.
A man from childhood comes to the conclusion that sentimentality is the lot of a weak woman. If a man admires flowers in a meadow or admires kittens that frolic on the doorstep, society will misunderstand and condemn.
A man is synonymous with strength, rationality, character and tenacity. He is not forgiven for whims, complaints or tears.
Strong feelings, such as love, passion, they "mask" and hide with the help of:
1. Indifference. Men do not respond to women's tears, discontent, or tantrums. During scandals, they declare that the opinion of the chosen one is indifferent to them, and the beloved herself, too.
2. Aggression. Is a boy at school tugging or pushing a classmate's pigtails? He likes her! Behind the rudeness lies tenderness, interest, a feeling of love.
Reason # 2. Education
If the parents did not hug their son, did not say words of love and tenderness to him, then, as an adult, a man will copy the line of behavior "inherited" in childhood. A man does not know how to compliment, show emotions. He believes that this is unworthy of a representative of the strong half of humanity, or he does not even know that the woman he loves is eager to hear the "cherished three words."
For some reason, parents believe that affection, tenderness and a kind word are not so important for a boy as for a girl. The son must be raised as a man - strong and reliable, a man who will endure all adversity. From early childhood, he has a sense of his own dignity and responsibility for the life of loved ones, willpower. As a result, becoming an adult, a man does not know how to freely express his feelings and emotions.
Reason # 3. Fear of addiction
A man hates addiction, it is not inherent in a man's character. The man realizes that addiction is the first step to manipulation and control, and this threatens the loss of personal freedom.
Men are proud that they are called "representatives of the strong half of humanity." They, like women, are afraid of pain. The best way to impress a woman you like is to show your strength.
It takes them much longer (compared to a woman) to establish emotional closeness.
Reason # 4. Man is a mystery
Men want to maintain interest in their irresistible person. They hide their feelings, rarely call or offer to meet because they want women to be curious.
Women, after reading love stories, want to see a strong-willed, strong, even rude man in front of them. turns into a "henpecked" and quickly loses credibility.
Reason # 5. Painful experience
If a man's past relationship ended in a fantastic fiasco, in the future he is careful in showing emotions.
Female betrayal, betrayal and deception give rise to 2 thoughts in the male head:
"I loved, and they hurt me, what a fool I was."
"In order not to get a knife in the back, you cannot show feelings."
His new darling will need a lot of patience and love for a man to open up to her. Over time, these categorical arguments disappear, and a man plunges into a new relationship with all his passion.
How is male interest manifested?
Avoids direct communication, learns information about a woman through mutual acquaintances.
In the general company, he is cold, he behaves differently from the others.
Furtively casts a glance, demonstrates indifference.
Or is it indifference?
It is difficult for a woman (if she does not have the appropriate education) to determine the line between emotional coldness and indifference. The external manifestation of these parameters is the same - the absence of tender words.
An unmistakable indicator of male love for an emotionally cold man is actions. It is real help and support that is important, not promises and unsuccessful attempts.
How to react if a man doesn't show his feelings?
What should a woman do if her man is emotionally cold? He never utters the three magic words "I love you", does not write romantic notes, does not kiss before leaving for work.
A woman should be understanding if a man does not want to defiantly express his feelings. For a man, love and care for a woman is expressed in concrete actions. He makes money, solves problems, protects, and this shows his feelings. Why words?
This position takes place. You can say anything, but not everyone can do a truly masculine act.
How does emotional coldness manifest?
He is not characterized by "gentle and romantic impulses": a man never offers to walk under the stars, does not give flowers, does not sing serenades under the balcony;
he never (or very rarely) talks about feelings;
whatever happens, the man calmly solves the problem;
any joyful event (buying a car, having a child or a career) evokes the same emotions in him;
he reacts with restraint and dryness to your romantic words and sentences.
What shouldn't be done with an emotionally reserved man?
Reply in kind. The man already knows that you are different - tender, vulnerable, and often cry while watching the Brazilian TV series. Changes in your behavior will not bear fruit.
Not to say (or better not to think) how cold, insensitive and narcissistic he is.
Do not focus on rare manifestations of feelings. Never mention how he cried when he saw the consequences of your own departure in a new car.
What to do with an emotionally reserved man?
If you decide that this man is your man, and you will have a family,.
Become an example. Give love for free, without asking for an answer.
Ask questions, don't assert. Trouble at work? Why don't you want to go to the theater? When are we going to rest?
Generalize your feelings (“I know we love each other, so we can handle it”).
He hid them under reliable armor.
7 indicators of love of an emotionally cold man
He solves your problems, gives you the right advice.
A man wants to be close.
He likes to touch you.
He is rarely the first to arrange quarrels, he goes to reconciliation without problems.
He is there when you really need help.
He listens to your opinion.
He is glad to your meetings and calls.
Rarely will you meet a man who freely expresses love, joy, or tenderness. It is easier for him to "give" negative feelings - anger, jealousy and hatred.
An intelligent woman realizes that male love is expressed not in words, but in actions. A man loves when he acts, and does not talk, and composes poems in honor of his beloved.
December 30, 2013