“In a harmonious relationship, a woman trusts a man, and a man trusts God. Man's expressions of love that make a woman feel loved

22.06.2019

First of all next. I have asked the question in probably dozens of audiences and not once have men given a different answer to the question, is there a brighter, happier manifestation of a woman’s love for you than her joyful, happy, positive reaction to what you manage to do in your life and its completely neutral, calm reaction to what you fail to do or what you do wrong? Men have never said that there is something more pleasant
. When they manage to make a woman happy, she reacts to it, and this gives them satisfaction.

It is very dangerous if a man comes into your life, trying to make you happy, and you will have nothing to react to it. In the event that a man comes into the life of an unhappy woman who does everything for her to make her happy, the tragedy is that as a result she may not become unhappy. From the moment when a man sees that she has simply become not unhappy, a man loses his inspiration to do something and continues to care less and less for her and somehow outwardly express his love.

The potential to respond to the actions of a man in the way you yourself want is called satisfaction. The ability to react only when he did well, then I am satisfied, and if he did not, I am not satisfied - this is called the reactive type of people: a person is not free, a slave who has not yet been squeezed out drop by drop. A woman must first have absolutely free potential to react as she wants. Only if she prefers not to notice the mistake of a man - she does not notice it. In the event that she prefers to note what achievement, deed, some external expression of a man’s love, she reacts to it the way she wants, even if she greatly exaggerates. She has a resource, funds for this.

But if a woman has lived all her life, destroying herself, one way or another, by boundless, uncontrolled service and has lost every resource of benevolence, then when even a prince on a white horse, a knight in shining armor appears in her life, it will be a failure. Because no matter how much he does for her, she does not have the resources to correctly (happily) respond to his accomplishments, achievements. And absolutely no strength to remain silent during his failures. No strength. And that takes a lot of energy!

Therefore, at such moments, a woman needs a huge resource, which she had to accumulate since childhood, in order to find the strength not to utter one phrase "I told you! Therefore, women, I advise you to take up this resource before you meet a man. Trust - a resource that is formed long before the arrival of a loved one.The basis of trust is the woman's belief that I am absolutely worthy of the right, respectful, understanding attitude towards myself and the full care of a man.

Let's think about why, from caring and loving grooms, most often men eventually turn into husbands lying on the couch with beer, who cannot do anything and even do not want anything? Very often, modern women take on their shoulders work, husband, children and home! Why do women in such families eventually turn into a grouchy and hating wife?

There are a lot of reasons. And one of them - a woman does not trust her husband at all! Unfortunately, without trust in a man, there is no mutual understanding and happiness in the family.

What is it - trust in a man? All serious relationships begin with love and trust in the person. Trust is complete openness to a partner, confidence in his deeds and actions. Without trust in a man (and men in a woman), well-being, love and happiness in the family is absolutely impossible. Trust is the law of long and happy family relationships. Trust is something that is very easy and quick to spoil, but very difficult to restore.

The loss of trust in men is a serious test for a woman. Women, of course, are very emotional. And in order to understand and understand the reasons for distrust, a woman should “turn off” her emotions.

Without panic and in a state of calm, it is necessary to find out the reasons that led to this situation. Yes, crises happen in all relationships. You just need to critically analyze your behavior and the behavior of your partner. Most likely you will find the cause of distrust. And knowing the reason, it is already easy to decide what to do in this situation:

The man cheated on the woman. The woman trusted, loved the man, opened her heart to him, and he betrayed her. She continues to love this man, but does not know what to do, whether to trust him further. There is a good proverb about this:

“If a person did an act once, this does not mean that he will do it a second time, but if he did it a second time, then a third time will be necessary.”

Each of us can make mistakes. And in life there are many examples when a person realizes his mistake and never repeats it again.

Jealous woman Imagine a man was late at work. And his wife is at home, she does not find a place for herself. He draws in his imagination all sorts of different pictures of betrayal. And there is no limit to the flight of her imagination!

Analyze whether it is worth spending your precious female energy on senseless jealousy and thereby spoil your relationship with your loved one?

Can we change the people around us? Of course not! Let's start with ourselves - this is the only person we can change and make our life better and happier. How can we learn to trust the man we love:

Let's learn to trust people and the World we live in more. Yes, there are deceit and betrayal in a woman's life. And this situation teaches to be more careful and attentive to men. Only this does not mean at all that all people in life will deceive and betray.
Help us with positive thinking! According to psychologists, women who accumulate resentment against those who once betrayed them cannot meet a normal man. With their negative thoughts, women program themselves for unhappy relationships and deceit. A woman with positive thoughts wins in many ways!
It is very important to learn to see the inner world of a man and hear it! Just show interest in the person. Find out what his preferences, what interests, what views on a particular situation. This helps build trust.

The basis of a strong, long and happy relationship is trust between a man and a woman. In a strong family, they can rely on each other, not ask too many questions and always trust their soulmate.

Most often, distrust is expressed by females, sometimes it turns into an obsession. This condition can be called a disease. “He doesn’t love me, “suddenly he will cheat on me,” these are the thoughts of women who are insecure in themselves, in their inner world. Fear destroys trust, so in order to build relationships on trust, you need to believe in yourself.

Every woman can develop the ability to trust in herself:

A start might be to pay more attention to your appearance.
There are also special psychological exercises for the development of trust. For example, a man leads a blindfolded woman through an unfamiliar area for her.
Also, it is very important for every woman to remember that it is important for a man when they believe in him and trust him. He feels the lack of trust on an intuitive level.

It is necessary to trust! You should not once again look for arguments of a possible deception on the part of a man, it is better to spend this time on self-care and a pleasant pastime with your loved one.

Rubtsova Nina

Male and female roles in the family. If a woman trusts a man

Both should be: physically healthy, emotionally stable, physically, energetically and mentally strong, with a good sense of humor. Source - Esoteric. Living Knowledge

But at the same time, everyone has their own role.

Let's turn to biology. How does the brightest carrier of male energy, the spermatozoon, manifest itself? He works! He runs as fast as he can, so to speak, to his beloved woman. At the same time, he needs to overtake all competitors. True, there is an opinion of scientists that spermatozoa act as a team, and within the team they choose the lucky one, for whose marriage the efforts of the whole team are directed. It doesn't change things.

How does the egg behave? She prepares herself for the meeting, goes to the meeting place (after all, she does minimal actions) and opens the “doors” to her beloved - she is ready to receive him! She is ready to accept her man's actions.

So it turns out that the male role is to actively act faster and better than others, competition is one of the most important factors that shape male actions. Teamwork is not allowed.

What is the female role? She prepares herself to be at her “best”, acts minimally, goes out to meet her beloved and accepts everything that he brings to her.

So we come to the sacred phrase: "Accepts everything that he brings to her." It turns out that it is not so scary, a strong woman or a very strong one. It is not female power that breaks a man, but female “rejection”. As long as a woman accepts everything that a man does or does not do, everything that he is, everything that he thinks or does not think, in principle, it does not matter whether she is strong or very strong. Her strength is directed in the right direction. Her acceptance creates a healthy relationship and a harmonious man. A strong woman by her acceptance creates a strong man, that's all.

But one should not confuse internal total acceptance with the “appearance of acceptance”. When a woman tolerates, she does not accept. When a woman does not open her mouth, this does not mean at all that she accepts her man.

When a woman saws a man, she does not accept him at the level of reality, at the level of actions. And kills him with a completely physical denial of his essence. But when she outwardly does not show her rejection, but “tolerates” inside, she also kills herself. Because by silence she kills two birds with one stone - she still does not accept a man, and thus has a bad effect on his energy and relationships, and also does not respect herself - she allows herself to be treated in such a way that she is forced to “endure” this treatment.

How to understand what a man is hiding. How does a man feel when you trust him

Girls are used to open their feelings. With men, everything is more difficult: even in marriage, they manage to hide their feelings. Why do they do it?

In the modern world, excessive emotionality is exclusively a feature of the weaker sex. From this it follows that the manifestation of tenderness and banal joy translates men into the category of weak and unmanly.
Showing various feelings - a man considers himself vulnerable.
Some people like to watch the first steps on the part of women.
Many people think that love is a synonym for the word weakness.

To hide their feelings, men use a range of techniques.

It is much easier to hide your feelings if you close yourself with a wall of indifference. Most often, this method works during quarrels - a man closes himself in order not to allow a woman to cause even more pain.

Frankness

A man suddenly shared some secret or memory with you - this means that he trusts you, but is not ready to talk about it directly.

Attention and care

To please, the stronger sex begins to show itself from the best side. And let the brain give the command to be silent, the actions that take place on a subconscious level will bring any man to clean water.

A man can hide his feelings, but it will be much more difficult for him to refrain from not giving advice, not helping him with his own words.

Causes jealousy

Often, men deliberately make women jealous of them, and watching the reaction, they are waiting for the right moment to be there and take care.

Confidence that the partner will not intentionally cause harm or pain. That he will not use your weaknesses to hurt or offend. That everything you share in private will remain only between you

The most important element on which trust is built between a man and a woman is confidence in each other's feelings. In their sincerity, reciprocity, in the finality of your choice. Once this level of trust is achieved, further strengthening and development of it is much easier.

Quotes about trust are very popular. All of them are different, but they are united by the fact that each author recognizes the fragility of this feeling, which is the most important of all existing, acting as their basis. Quotes about trust in love, friendship and society in the material of the article.

Famous people about trust

Celebrity Trust Quotes:

"My dad always told me: don't trust those people who have a huge TV and a small shelf for books" (Emilia Clarke).
"There will always be people who want to hurt you. Keep trusting people, just be a little more careful" (Marquez).
"Always trust the most important woman. She does not remember anything that is really important" (Oscar Wilde).
"I trust you, I need you" (Mason Cooley).
"You can't believe in illusions, you have to pay for them" (London).
"In gullibility is the weakness of men and the strength of children" (Lam).
When eyes and tongue say different things, trust first (Emerson).

Beautiful sayings about trust

"A woman with what hair color is best to trust? - Only gray-haired, and a man should not be trusted, even if he is bald."
"Trust is when you give a hand to another person, close your eyes and let him lead you across the road."
"Everyone you trust, you put a knife in your hands. It will either protect you or kill you."
"The deeper the trust in a person, the greater the temptation to betray you."
"If you met a person and it seemed to you that you can trust him as yourself, remember that you are still different."
"Everything tends to end: and trust, and love, and juice in a glass."
"Friendship is based on mutual trust."

Trust on the pages of books

Quotes about trust can be found not only from famous people, but also on the pages of books. Literary characters are sometimes inclined to talk about this feeling better than any psychologists and philosophers. Quotes about trust in relationships from books:

"It's better not to believe people, Yu. They are much worse than any vampires and demons."
"Trust is the most fragile thing in the world, like a girl's heart. Broken - you can no longer collect it in parts, and fragments can inflict deep wounds."
"You can't just love, not trust and not consider another equal to yourself. Distrust destroys even the brightest love."
"Trust to be faithful."
"Why don't you trust me? - You don't deserve it. I meditate every day to control my power. Do you think I'll just believe that you have come to control the one you have? Trust needs to be earned." How to do it? - First trust me".
"I don't trust you enough to hurt you."

We hope that these quotes about trust will help you better understand the essence of this feeling, find and maintain it in a relationship.

Psychology of trust

Trust is the door between people (and between people and the world of possibilities), which can be open and closed to varying degrees, ajar and locked with seven locks. By nature, we are born with an open door to the outside world, ready to let in all the diversity opportunities, but every time we close it when we are faced with violence against ourselves and our right to be, live, breathe, love, dream, explore, feel - in other words: satisfy our needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual).

Trust is an internal state of a person, a state of peace when he is confident in his partner. It gives rise to confidence that a loved one will or will not act in a certain way - for example, will not meet another girl in a cafe or bar.

In this case, a person can be safely released with friends to a bathhouse or fishing and not worry about where he is. Such a feeling as trust is rather unsteady, because it is worth breaking it at least once, and the partner will have constant suspicions.

Trust is the main component of any relationship, which cannot be compared in importance even with love, because without trust, relationships are doomed. A girl, a woman may not trust a loved one after betrayal or betrayal, since it is extremely difficult to regain trust in this person.

Without trust, there is no long and harmonious relationship. To learn to trust a man, you need to understand the reasons for distrust.

The main ones are the following:

One of the partners is too jealous. This problem is very easy to deal with, just do not give in to obsessive thoughts and trust a man. You need to trust your partner as yourself. In this case, there is one nuance - this is the fear of loneliness, and if one of the partners is afraid of him, then he will cling to the other with a stranglehold and will not let go of himself under any pretext. It is best to part with such a person. In a harmonious relationship, both partners must give each other freedom and trust, otherwise it is not a relationship, but a prison.
Trust is broken. If the irreparable has already been committed: treason, betrayal. In this case, restoring trust will be quite difficult. Forgiving someone and trusting them again are two different things. Forgiveness can be easy and immediate, but believing again may not work, or it will take a lot of time and effort.

Let's say that you met a man, and even meet for several months. But then the relationship with a man does not develop the way you want. It's not like he's going to visit you more and more often and stay overnight. It's not like he introduced you to his friends and parents. There is no trust and intimacy, let alone propose to you.

The relationship seems to have stopped in one place, and you begin to think about how to please a man?

You have even tried to show less initiative in communication, but this does not lead to anything, the man even seems to be glad about this and even less appears and calls you. What to do to reverse the situation? How to please a man and arouse his interest with renewed vigor?

In absentia, or even in person, it is difficult to say what the reason is and whether it is possible to resolve the situation at all. However, you can try several options.

First, try talking less.

In the comments of men who stop dating a woman they liked very much at first, dissatisfaction with the fact that a woman talks a lot, sometimes without stopping, is in one of the first places.

Just talk less and listen more. Quite a few women (and men too, of course) have a habit of talking a lot. Quite rarely, someone from those around you can directly tell you “Yes, shut up for at least 30 minutes,” or “Not only you speak, but also let others speak,” since such a remark can often offend a person. But in general, the habit of talking a lot, or even continuously commenting on one’s own and other people’s actions, is very annoying for people.

A man may never tell you that you talk a lot, or even not realize it himself. But if it annoys him, then he will try to meet with you less and less.

Many will object to me: “I'm a shy person, I don't talk much. And so this remark does not apply to me..

But shyness and taciturnity are not necessarily the same thing. Yes, a shy person may talk little to strangers and not speak in those situations that require defending their rights in conflict situations. But a shy person can be very talkative, even too talkative, with people they know well.

So, in order to please a man, you do not need to be talkative. How much less talking? - Much less. That is, it is not by 20-30%, no one can even notice such a decrease. You need to talk yourself many times less, that is, three, five, or even ten times less. Then you may feel an improvement in the relationship.

Someone might say: “We don’t communicate much with the man anyway, and you suggest talking even less?”. I'm not saying that you need to communicate less time. I'm talking about trying to talk less yourself and learn to listen to other people more.

Another question: “But what if I stop talking so much, will there always be “deathly silence”?”

Maybe so, then you will understand that this rule is not for you. However, this is unlikely. And even if you really have a “dead silence” after you began to talk less, then perhaps you simply don’t know how to ask, listen and encourage other people to talk about themselves. It's time to learn.

Well, of course, do not think that this is an exercise for 1 day. Practice for at least a couple of weeks.

Second: Analyze your life and remove from it everything why a man might not trust you.

Trust and respect are the foundation for a man to like you.

Some women are trusted by men, and some are not. With those women whom a man trusts, relationships are much more likely to become deeper, and, accordingly, they are more likely to marry such women. Those who are not trusted (trusted less), and who are not respected, relationships do not develop and such women are less likely to marry.

Why is this happening? By what signs does a man determine whether a woman can be trusted or not? I will give a few examples when, due to distrust in a relationship, they broke up:

- A woman (girl) meets a man, but at the same time some “men, supposedly friends” constantly call her under various pretexts. She also continues to periodically meet with such "friends" for various reasons (help with studies, setting up a computer, etc.). As I wrote in the article "How to understand that he likes you" There are no female “friends” for men. And "male friends" exist only in the imagination of women.

Therefore, a man reasonably perceives all the “friends” of a woman as potential or existing love partners of a woman. And it doesn't matter how it really is. A woman who constantly calls up and meets with male "friends" does not trust the man she meets and wants to please.

Of course, there is no need to bring everything to the point of absurdity. There are colleagues at work, clients, and business relationships to maintain. But if a “colleague” calls almost every day in the evening, and comes home twice a week to set up a computer, then the man clearly does not perceive him as only a “colleague”, or an old acquaintance.

If possible, break off relations with all your "friends". Or at least put some distance between them.

— The presence of "candid" photos.

If you have candid photos on the walls at home, where you are half-naked, or you constantly show your man photos in an embrace with other men, or such photos are posted on your page on the website (blog) in "Contact", etc. , then a normal man is unlikely to trust you. Such photos of a woman and a girl are usually posted out of insecurity in order to impress other people. They think that if a man sees how "desirable, beautiful" she is, etc., he will appreciate her more. But in fact, such pictures usually have the opposite impression.

A man believes that such a woman (girl), who is easily accessible, draws conclusions accordingly. If he needs a woman for a short time, then for some time he will meet her. And if he is looking for his "half", then he will either not meet, or stop communicating.

And if you are thinking about how to please a man, and subsequently marry him, remove all candid photos and photos where you hug different men from home and from pages on the Internet.

-You lie all the time.

All people deceive each other, some more, some less. And those people who tell one “truth”, even when they are not asked, are avoided. However, this does not mean that you need to deceive friends, others and a man. If you've been caught a few times cheating a little, it's probably okay. However, for many, deception has become a habit, and they deceive without any need, just out of habit. And not so many people lie on specific facts (I was there, or not there), although there are some. But there are quite a lot of women who lie about their feelings, or keep silent about the truth.

Here are some examples:

— I'm not offended, - although in fact she was offended and how. It's much better to say that “Yes, I was offended that you did not come, although you promised. If you can’t, then call ahead and let me know, I have my own life and my own plans, etc.”.

—Everything is great, although nothing is great.

Tell the truth. Men are much better at truth than deceit. And usually, their reaction can amaze you. Relationships will become better and more honest.

And yet, men trust predictable women, but more on that in another article.

And thirdly, if you really want to please a man and keep a relationship with him, stop criticizing a man.

This item should probably have been put in the first place, because because of criticism, a man breaks off relationships more often than for the first two reasons combined.

There are no perfect men. There is not a single man who would only do good to a woman, even if he tries hard. And some, especially beginners, make practically the same mistakes in relation to their woman, mainly due to inability and ignorance. They do not know how to communicate and understand a woman, they do not give gifts, they do not know how to listen, etc.

However, there are women who NEVER criticize a man, no matter what happens. At the same time, it cannot be said that they are lisping with their men. On the contrary, they behave, sometimes quite harshly. But never criticize. There are especially many such women, among those who divorced and remarried. They understand (since divorced) that criticism for relationships with men is death. And they were able to somehow remove criticism from their lives (since they got married again and live well).

Such women who know how to support a man and inspire him to exploits, as a rule, have no shortage of men.

Once again - they do not criticize, this does not mean that they do not defend their rights. How they defend. Read a couple of chapters in a book on this subject. “How to fall in love with a man for life and successfully marry?”.

Here are two options for how you can talk to a man. And each of them leads either to an improvement in relations, or to a break and mutual dissatisfaction.

The man was late and did not call. “You are a bad-smelling, bad person, you set me up, there are ... few of them and not a man, you are the same as ... etc.”- Spilled out emotions - this is "great", I guess. You can still keep silent, it's generally "wonderful."

And you can with the same meaning, but in other words: “I stood here for 15 minutes, all frozen like zucerone (I don’t know what this word means, I borrowed it from my wife). Please don't be late. Or call and warn me on the phone. You will be late again and you won’t warn me, I won’t even wait 2 minutes for you, etc. etc."

The meaning is the same, but the effect is completely different. And for the second time, if this situation happens again. Turn around and leave, let him run after you, ask for forgiveness.

If a woman constantly communicates according to the first option, then other things being equal, men will not linger near such a woman.

Here are actually three tips, using which some women were able to make relationships with men deeper, and sometimes even get married. I did not invent them, but retold what men are usually very unhappy with in women, or the experience of women who managed to restore relationships with men and shared this experience with my wife. Use them, I will be glad if they help you.

Sincerely, Rashid Kirranov.

Man's expressions of love that make a woman feel loved

Let's look at the three main manifestations of love that help a woman feel that peace, which is the criterion for her being loved. For a man, the main source of inspiration in life is trust, acceptance and gratitude (see). Enthusiasm is the most central, most important sign that he is loved. Therefore, now you will no longer fall into the trap when they ask you whether you are loved or not, and ask for proof.

What makes a woman lovingly calm? Three manifestations of a man's love, which are an extended version of the full attention on a woman. Because the three things a man needs to feel loved are an extended version of being kind to him. Therefore, a woman must build her whole life in such a way that trust, acceptance and gratitude to a man for what he does would be her free choice and not strongly depend on the behavior of a man.

A marriage is stable only when each party is independent of the other.

When people are in the mode of natural giving, and not depending on how much they receive, that is, unnatural receiving. But they do not receive, of course, because everyone gives. A woman gives her love to a man in the form of trust, acceptance and gratitude. And these three manifestations have a completely mystical quality - they automatically cause in a person the desire to give what you need.

Very often it happens that a woman who herself needs manifestations of love, instead of these three, which are necessary for a man, begins to give what she needs. And then wonders why she doesn't get what she wants. “It's so easy! I showed him by example what I need to give. Do you feel what is wrong here?

I will give you one practical tip: how to become the perfect man. It is generally given by women, I just tell you how they tell you.

Everything that women give you - just copy and do for them.

If a woman wants a man to hug and stroke her, what does she do? Asks: "Hug me, please"? No, she starts hugging him and stroking him. She sits down, takes him by the hand and begins to stroke, because it seems to her that the guests take away too much attention. What does a man understand from this? "Well, that's enough!" No, you just need to take and take out your hand and start stroking it. Very simple.

If a woman comes home and starts doing a lot around the house. Guess what she's trying to let you know? "Lie on the couch, I'll do everything myself"? This is how a man understands, but a woman hopes that with such a feat, with military labor, she will show how to run with a mop and the “senior comrades” will understand. But remains disappointed.

“Don’t fix it until it’s broken” is a man’s principle. If everything works, why even make an effort? The man does not understand what to do. If she does something, then he understands that she just wants to do it. If she wants to do this, then my main goal is to fulfill the desires of a woman. After all, it is my nature to fulfill the desires of a woman. I see that she wants to serve me, this is her desire, which means that I must fulfill it - to enable her to serve more and longer. Hence the Fox and the Crane.

When we want to give to another, for some reason we give to him in complete misunderstanding of the biblical thesis "Love your neighbor as yourself." We think that to love your neighbor as yourself means to give a damn about the tastes and interests of your neighbor and start giving your neighbor what is best for me. But to love your neighbor as yourself is to understand his desires as well as you understand your own. HIS desires, not YOURS to impose on him. Don't project yourself onto him, but treat him as carefully studying his desires as you study yours, and give him what he wants.

In the Soviet linguistic press there was such a joke about gifts: “Actually, the most sincere gift is to give something that is dearest to you. If the book "Small Land" is dear to you, donate it. If you knit, donate knitting needles. If you do judo, give tatami as a gift”… And so on. An absurd list. We do. We give what is dear to us. We offer the service we need. Therefore, a man easily reacts to such behavior. He says: a good scheme, you just give a person something that he doesn’t need for a hundred years, but which is considered valuable to you.

And begins to give love in the form:
- accepting a woman for who she is, which women around the world perceive simply as a disregard for her. "Don't you want me to get better?" - “Why is it better? Fine. So good". Basically, this is true. But a woman needs to see that this is increasing, that she was accepted as perfect as she was met, and more and more perfections are being discovered in her.

- trust .
“Marin, do you remember where you changed your winter tires last fall?” - "Yes I remember". “Well, come on, I trust you, go there quickly. I’m busy right now…” or “Marinka, you’re my big girl, grown up, you can handle it. I know. Let's. You have an address. You are my chief accountant, let's go to the addresses. Do it, trust me." And he thinks: "How cool I love a woman." In fact, he gives her what he himself would like to receive. When a woman feels bad, a man trusts - she can handle it herself, we must leave her alone to think. I trust her. Fine. An adult woman, sane, self-controlled. She doesn't need support. Support only humiliates ... a real man.

- thanks . We say “thank you” left and right, then we look: the woman is unhappy all the time, and we stop even saying “thank you”. Instead of understanding, gratitude in words is not what a woman needs. She needs respect for her nature.

So, manifestations of a man's love that make a woman feel loved.

CARE

A woman feels loved when she feels cared for. Not trust, but care. “What cares? I trust her. I don’t know about strangers, so I’m giving a coat. And I know for sure about mine - she does not have cerebral palsy, she is able to put on a coat, she copes well on her own. She has enough muscle strength to open the front door because she has never had rickets. Why should I open up to her? I trust! I love my wife, and I'm just being polite to others. But I trust my wife, she can do all this herself.” This is the first blow when a woman feels unloved - lack of care, which has been replaced by trust. A man begins to give what he himself would like to receive. And a woman who wants to be taken care of opens doors for a man, straightens his tie, wipes his face with a napkin when he eats. The man at this time feels that she does not trust him at all, she holds him for an imbecile.

A man invites a woman on a date, arrives in his car. Wanting to be a gentleman, he opens the door for her and puts her in the right seat, runs back and, approaching his door, sees that the woman bends over the gearbox and opens the door for him. This is what women do, you know? “Otherwise, how can I thank you? Action." Not! Your smile is enough.

So care is the first manifestation of love. This is one third of love, and some women, having received care, just already “Vanya, I am yours forever,” believe that there is nothing to count on complete love. Settle for a little, and even that will not be given.

A woman, seeing that a man cares, sometimes even accepting only a third of love, completely devotes herself to a man.

Ultimately, she feels that this is not enough for her. And she can no longer part with a man, because she is attached, but she can’t stay together either, because she is on a “starvation diet”. One-third of love is pleasant, but it is not love. If a person is given water every day, but many times less than his norm, then in the end he will completely inactive his intestines. A serious imbalance will begin in the body. Many have been drinking this way since childhood. Many drink so as not to ask to go to the toilet, to look decent. A little in the morning, a little in the afternoon, a little in the evening. And your metabolic system will very quickly say hello to you and gynecology too, because when toxins are not flushed out of the body and the intestines do not work regularly, they infiltrate from the intestines through the membrane - the thin partition between the intestines and gynecology - into the gynecological sphere, becoming food for various neoplasms: fibromas, myomas, cysts. For one reason only - the idiotic habit of looking better than you really are, that someone will think badly of me: “Wow! Goes to the toilet!!!" This panic is from school, but it takes root for life.

In the same way, women are afraid to ask for care, or if they receive care, then it seems to them that everything is the perfection of their life. "Just can't take it anymore as well!"
- No one treated me so well?
- Not the fact that he is the best who can treat you like that. Or generally be nice.

Feeling of exclusivity

Caring is when a man does those things that a woman could do herself, but he does for one reason: in order to preserve the most important component of love - a sense of exclusivity. Without this quality, love has no power and is difficult to maintain.

A sense of exclusivity - I don't feel this way about any woman on whom I have completely focused my attention. I don't open doors for everyone. If decency requires it, I open it, but most often and most of all, and with the greatest feeling, sense and arrangement, I do it for my beloved woman. I sometimes give coats to women, but I never try to miss this moment, even if we are at home and only the two of us, and not only at the Mariinsky Theater after the performance. I do this all the time, reminding her that she is exceptional. It's the way I treat her that makes her exceptional. Not because I found an exceptional woman. No.

A man himself creates this status for a woman and from this receives more of her love.

When a man shows more concern for a woman, then a mystical, alchemical reaction occurs - a woman gives him more and more trust. These two qualities are related. The more a woman trusts, the faster she will receive a man's care.

For example, women who are single, single, they begin to date, trusting men who like them that they will try to behave decently. It’s not just that she becomes obligated to a man and so on, but her trust in men generally grows. Why? Because this trust is based on the most important aspect of believing in yourself - I am worthy. The more a woman is cared for, the more she considers herself worthy of care, and the more she trusts men because she knows they want to take care of her. Even if they don’t succeed now, they really want to and will do it at the first opportunity.

The root of all relationship problems is a lack of trust. Even more precisely - the distrust of men to their wives. American journalist Damon Young shares his experience and explains why he still does not trust his wife. The journalist states that the topic of distrust of women is played up in 73 percent of sitcoms, 31 percent of books and 98.9 percent of men's heart-to-heart conversations.

In a year of dating, eight months of engagement, and six months of marriage, I managed to learn something about my wife. Not even that: I learned a lot about my wife. I learned that she had a veil with sleeves and one-piece pajamas. And that she likes to wear them one on top of the other. But one thing I could not realize until recently. It's a matter of trust. That is, its absence.

The truth is, we men don't believe what women tell us. Except, perhaps, our mothers, teachers or any other woman - a recognized authority. Do we think women are pathological liars? No. Does it take a woman longer to convince us than a man? Definitely.

After a year of dating, eight months of engagement and six months of marriage, I understand why I do not trust my wife.

We consider the concept of trust in the context of actions, that is, we imagine: could this person do such and such? If you trust a person, it means that you are sure that he will not deceive. Or not steal. Or strangle you in your sleep. In this regard, I definitely trust my wife. I know she won't do that.

I also trust her opinion on a number of important things. I believed that she would be a wonderful wife and a wonderful mother. And that I won't end up in the hospital because of her cooking.

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You know what I don't really believe? What, in fact, I never believed, no matter what woman I was with? Her feelings.

If she comes up to me, obviously upset about something, my first thought is "What's wrong?". The second thought is "Maybe she's exaggerating." Even before she tells me everything. The third thought, after she speaks, is "Okay. I heard you, and I will help you. But what upset you so much is really nothing."

I never say it out loud, but I think it all the time. Until she convinces me otherwise, I consider her reaction to the situation to be disproportionately exaggerated compared to what she should be. That is, if she is experiencing an eight points, I think that in fact the situation deserves a six-point experience.

I know I'm not alone. The theme of distrust of women on the part of men is played up in 73 percent of sitcoms, 31 percent of books and 98.9 percent of men's heart-to-heart conversations, writes Alternet. As usual, women go crazy, but we don't. Such a feminine feature is considered to be one of the cute and harmless differences between the sexes, although it annoys the women themselves.

Perhaps if it was about dinner or whose turn it is to take out the garbage, one could talk about "cute differences." However, distrust of women can turn into skepticism about everything they say in general. Since women's feelings should not be trusted, it means that there is no truth in their words.

And it is precisely for this reason that we do not believe, say, the complaints of girlfriends, neighbors, sisters, wives, classmates about harassment on the street, until we see bullies molesting girls with our own eyes. That's why we need visual evidence of what women may have been telling us for years.

So how do we fix this state of affairs? And is it actually possible to fix this? Don't know. Distrust of the feelings of women is so deeply rooted in the male mind that the men themselves do not even realize this.

However, I personally can still do something. The next time my wife says she's upset about something that I thought shouldn't be bothered at all, I'll believe her. It's the least I can do.

But at the same time, everyone has their own role.

Let's turn to biology. How does the brightest carrier of male energy - the spermatozoon - manifest itself? He works! He runs as fast as he can, so to speak, to his beloved woman. At the same time, he needs to overtake all competitors. True, there is an opinion of scientists that spermatozoa act as a team, and within the team they choose the lucky one, for whose marriage the efforts of the whole team are directed. It doesn't change things.

So it turns out that the male role is to actively act faster and better than others, competition is one of the most important factors that shape male actions. Teamwork is not allowed.

What is the female role? She prepares herself to be at her "best", acts minimally, going out to meet her beloved and accepts whatever he brings her.

So we come to the sacred phrase: "Accepts everything that he brings to her." It turns out that it is not so scary, a strong woman or a very strong one. It is not female power that breaks a man, but female “rejection”. As long as a woman accepts everything that a man does or does not do, everything that he is, everything that he thinks or does not think - in principle, it does not matter whether she is strong or very strong. Her strength is directed in the right direction. Her acceptance creates a healthy relationship and a harmonious man. A strong woman by her acceptance creates a strong man, that's all.

When a woman saws a man, she does not accept him at the level of reality, at the level of action. And kills him with a completely physical denial of his essence. But when she outwardly does not show her rejection, but “tolerates” inside, she also kills herself. Because by silence she kills two birds with one stone - she still does not accept a man, and thus has a bad effect on his energy and relationships, and also does not respect herself - she allows herself to be treated in such a way that she is forced to “endure” this treatment.

How to accept a man for who he is and not become a victim?

To accept a man as he is is a special art, and it is subject to few people. And he needs to learn, like any art, from the smallest. You should not try to immediately fall in love, that is, accept, the injuries of a man. This is unsafe and impossible at the first stage. Try to accept more innocuous things first - his habits, for example. His champing, his way of dressing, his way of speaking, etc. What is already in his life and does not threaten your life. He brought you a rose, and you love orchids. But know how to accept the rose, seeing in this his attention. And then hint to him that you also love orchids, although you are no less delighted with roses.

When a woman "forces herself to accept a man," she acts against her nature and allows him what she is not ready for. And then it has nothing to do with acceptance. This is pure self abuse.

This is where the victims come from. The victim cannot accept another because she is already learning tolerate rather than accept.

She allows others to do what she dislikes. That is, the victim actually betrays himself and cultivates rejection, not acceptance. And so, starting small, increasing and increasing in scale, as a result, the victims become “terrible victims”, who are beaten, raped, terrorized.

All acceptance starts with yourself. Determine what is within your scope of acceptance. What attitude towards you is “pleasant”, and what is “unpleasant”. And learn to communicate to others the line where unpleasant behavior or attitudes begin for you. Don't let the unthinkable work on you. After that, you can already start accepting another. You cannot learn to respect others until you respect yourself.

When you respect yourself and feel the needs of yourself and your body, then you can start learning to accept your husband. But with little things. Take one little thing from your husband. For example, how he champs. And listen to your body. What causes you to dislike this sound? Maybe there are some unpleasant associations? Filter these associations and replace them with better ones. For example, imagine that his champing is similar to how a calculating machine in a bank counts bills. Here is a completely different picture. And champing no longer causes past rejection. And you are one step closer to acceptance. With every step, you blossom more and more as a woman, it becomes easier for you to respect and trust your husband. And in proportion to your trust, its capabilities increase.

What is the difference between a successful man and an unsuccessful one?

The successful wife believes in him. What is "believing"? This means that she accepts him for who he is. That is, he accepts everything that he does or does not do. And he knows that no matter what he does or does not do, he knows where he is leading.

According to the principle of the saying: "Everything is for the best, so the best is inevitable." Here is a wife who trusts, she is calm. She does not wait, she does not impose her demands, her expectations, her orders on her husband. She lives quietly, knowing in her gut that everything her husband does leads to the best. Even if she doesn't know how yet. And it is this faith on the subtle plane that creates the energy that then turns into the actions of the husband. But, as always, this cannot be done by "force". Faith is not born from effort. It is born from trust and acceptance. To achieve this aerobatics, start small. Start accepting your betrothed in every little thing. Take the most painful buttons and work with them.

There is a good phrase: "It infuriates you that your husband is lying on the couch - lie down next to him." Think of an association that will remove your feeling of rage and add a sense of calm. For example, Emelya always lay on the stove, but this did not prevent him from going to the pike on the same stove and agreeing on everything with that one. Let him lie on the couch if it helps him come up with brilliant ideas once a year that will feed the family. Learn to accept his actions, by default leading to happiness. Even if you do not yet understand how they will lead there.