Perinatal education, emotional connection between mother and child. The magical bond between mother and child

10.08.2019

Breastfeeding provides an opportunity for harmonious development, which is determined not only by the composition of human milk, but also by the contact between mother and child (visual, tactile, verbal), which is an important component of the breastfeeding process. That is why breastfeeding is a continuation of the bond between mother and child, established during pregnancy and interrupted during childbirth. The contact between mother and child formed in the process of breastfeeding has an impact on the development of mother-child relations in further age periods.

The connection between mother and child begins to form even in the prenatal period: at 3-5 months of gestation, amniotrophic nutrition appears. In the third trimester of pregnancy, unborn babies drink 15 to 40 ml of amniotic fluid per hour. It is amniotrophic nutrition that is the mechanism of adaptation to postnatal lactotrophic nutrition. The smell of amniotic fluid is similar to the smell of the glands of the areola of the mother's breast, which allows the child to recognize his biological mother.

After the birth of a child, the mother-fetus connection through the umbilical cord breaks off, which is currently denoted in psychology by the term “birth crisis”. This crisis is due to the fact that after the birth and ligation of the umbilical cord, the child gains freedom, but physiologically "loses" the mother. The child enters an environment that is different from the environment in the prenatal period. Everything changes: the usual aquatic environment - to air, which differs in temperature, humidity, illumination, concentration of free oxygen, microbial and antigenic load, the presence of direct sensory impact. The force of gravity acts on the child. Tactile, visual, auditory sensations become unusually intense. Feeling the warmth of the mother, her smell, voice, heartbeat connects the newborn with the previous intrauterine life and makes the birth not traumatic. The postnatal equivalent of the placenta is breastfeeding.

There is evidence that how much time a child spends in contact with his mother after childbirth and in the first days of life, as well as the quality of this contact, determines the frequency of his crying in the first two years, attachment to his mother and some psychological problems at an older age. It should be emphasized that bodily contact is unique to mammals. In recent years, psychologists and pediatricians have paid great attention to skin-to-skin contact. Being close to the mother helps the baby regulate its own body temperature, metabolic processes, enzyme and hormone levels, heart rate and respiratory movements.

It is believed that a close relationship with the mother begins to form from the first minutes, at first sight. This position on the importance of bonding (binding) was first expressed by pediatricians Marshall Klaus and John Kennell. These researchers point out that a baby's cry increases blood flow to the mother's breasts. The separation of mothers and babies D. Chamberlain considers as an emotional test.

According to new perinatal technologies to support breastfeeding, the first contact between mother and child should be at least 30 minutes. In this case, the child should not be immediately applied to the mother's nipple. The child should be laid out on the mother's stomach, after which he has a search reflex: the newborn finds the nipple, begins to suck and starts lactation.

It is believed that it is the first hour of a child's life that is of decisive importance for the phenotypic realization of maternal feelings and full, long-term lactation. This is due to the fact that the state of the greatest activity of the brain of a newborn falls on the second half hour of life. The state of the mother after childbirth, characterized as stressful in terms of the intensity of emotions, but experienced as euphoria, the high level of arousal of the child is the physiological basis for the emergence of a strong emotional connection between the mother and the newborn. The perception of the biological mother is also extremely important for the child, which gives rise to a feeling of attachment to the mother, which has an undeniable impact on the harmonious development of the child. Breastfeeding is of great importance for the mental development of the child, as it is a form of communication between mother and child. This is one of the hallmarks of breastfeeding.

Despite all the undeniable advantages of breastfeeding, by the age of six months, on average, a little more than half of the children in Russia are breastfed. According to our data, 4% of children from birth begin to receive artificial mixtures. There are also cases when babies with preserved lactation refuse the mother's breast; in these cases, they resort to feeding with expressed milk from a bottle. However, breastfeeding is a form of communication between mother and child, and this is one of the fundamental differences between bottle-feeding (even if it is expressed breast milk). When feeding a baby with expressed breast milk from a bottle, the child receives all the necessary nutrients and protective factors, but may lose the opportunity to communicate with the mother during feeding if the grandmother, father, nanny, and not the mother, feeds the child with expressed milk.

Technique for establishing contact with a child when feeding with expressed human milk

What to do if the mother wants to breastfeed, but breastfeeding either did not take place, or took place, but not for the duration that the mother would like, or there is bottle feeding with expressed human milk? Often, these mothers develop "guilt" towards the child, because, in their opinion, the connection with the baby will be lost. Doctors must convince the mother that she is not to blame for the current situation, and love, communication with the child are able to maintain contact with him. It is necessary to change the technique of feeding the child. Studies have shown that the frequency of feeding on-demand infants by the end of the first month averaged 8.0 ± 2.7 times per day. The average duration of breastfeeding during the neonatal period can be 30-40 minutes or more, then decreases to 15-20 minutes in the second or third month of a child's life, and bottle-feeding time is often less than 10 minutes. Thus, when breastfeeding, the child has the opportunity to communicate with his mother only during daytime feedings for about 7-8 hours in the neonatal period and about three hours in the first months of life, and with artificial feeding - a little more than an hour.

The traditional bottle-feeding technique consists of taking the baby in your arms and giving him a bottle with a nipple, or feeding the baby without taking him out of the crib. As observations show, very often the mother instructs the nanny, grandmother, father to feed the child from the bottle. So the task is solved - to feed the child. But feeding a child in the first year of life is not only nutritional. This has already been noted as communication between mother and child. It should be noted that among the accessories for breastfeeding, already in the 80s of the twentieth century, a special device (SNS (Supplementary Nutrition System)) was proposed - an additional feeding system developed by the Swiss company Medela for supplementary feeding of a child with expressed women's milk or women's milk substitutes.

This device is a graduated container for formula / expressed milk and soft capillaries. The kit includes capillaries in three different sizes.

One of the capillaries is given to the baby during breastfeeding. The baby suckles from the mother's breast and is supplemented with either formula or expressed human milk. The cup has an adjustable neck strap that allows you to control the flow of milk by positioning the bottle above or below your nipples. An additional system can be used not only in case of lack of milk, but also during the formation or recovery of lactation, when feeding immature babies with a weak sucking reflex, or even when feeding adopted children.

Unfortunately, this method of supplementation is rarely used due to a lack of information from both breastfeeding mothers and healthcare professionals.

In recent years, it has been generally accepted to supplement children with expressed breast milk using a spoon. The SoftCups are used as an alternative to a bottle with a teat . The soft bottom spoon provides better dosing than with a mug or sippy bowl - the spoon fills automatically when the reservoir is squeezed. At the beginning of feeding, the baby does not need to draw in air, since there is a membrane valve between the bottle and the tip, which also prevents milk from spilling.

This method is the prevention of refusal of the child to breastfeed and is most suitable for supplementary feeding with expressed breast milk or formula. The device is also successfully used in feeding premature babies, children with various sucking disorders, with maxillofacial (cleft lip and soft palate) pathologies.

Technique for establishing contact with a child during artificial feeding

If the mother is formula-feeding, the task of the pediatrician is to teach the mother how to formula-feed. This will compensate for the possible lack of attention of the mother. What should be the technique of bottle feeding? Bottle-feeding should be done by the mother. For feeding, the mother takes the child in her arms. At the same time, she should stroke the child. The baby's hands should be free to touch the mother. Eye-to-eye contact is very important. After feeding, if the child does not fall asleep, he should be held in his arms, talking to him. The time of contact between mother and child with this approach will be at least 20-30 minutes. This method of feeding is especially indicated for mothers who really wanted to feed the child, but for reasons beyond her control were forced to transfer him to artificial feeding. "Guilt" in mothers can be removed through communication with the child and the use of feeding to communicate with him.

Thus, breastfeeding has not only nutritional value, not only contributes to the harmonious development of the child, but, what is very important, it is a continuation of the contact between mother and child, the source of which is the intrauterine period. The contact formed during breastfeeding undoubtedly influences the formation of parental relationships in subsequent age periods and is the subject of research by psychologists.

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M. V. Gmoshinskaya,Doctor of Medical Sciences

Research Institute of Nutrition of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, Moscow

The well-known pediatrician A. Nauri wrote: “... Over 35 years of practice, it became clear to me that the most difficult thing that a child can experience is interaction with an eternally worried mother. Why? Because the connection between mother and child is extremely strong and it is established during pregnancy. The mother, who is always worried, introduces negative emotionality into the field of her relationship with the child.

How strong is the bond between mother and child in the womb?

This is not the first time that the issue of the special sensitivity of the fetus to the emotional state of the mother has been raised, and it is this phenomenon of the “fetal emotional response” that many researchers confirm. It can be considered unconditional that the baby is not passive in the womb, it is an extremely sensitive being that holds many things in its brain.

Of course, in no case will anyone undertake to draw analogies between the abilities and developmental possibilities of a child during childhood (say, after three years) and a fetus, however, the fetus has some ideas about the outside world thanks to taste, smells, tactile sensations, sounds. He captures the movement of the mother, her caresses, the taste of the food she eats, and the physiological changes associated with maternal emotions.

A group of French researchers experimentally proved that during the last three months of pregnancy, the fetus can distinguish between voices and knows two syllables, two phrases, two smells and two taste sensations. He is able to learn, and more intensively than any newborn, even if he is a natural genius.

Constantly reading aloud the same text or playing a piece of music leads to a decrease in heart rate, measured over a six-week period, while listening to music for the first time entails an increase in heart rate. The bond between mother and child is strong. A fetus, like a premature baby, distinguishes between the mother's speech addressed to him, and that which addresses another person. At the end of pregnancy, the baby prefers light noise to silence, voices to noise, female voices to male voices. In addition, he loves joyful sounds more than sad or angry ones, which means he distinguishes the mood of adults.

Communication between mother and child

According to F. Dolto, communication with the fetus during pregnancy can have a psychotherapeutic value: “It is necessary to talk to the child about everything that concerns him, and to tell the truth from childhood. It is more difficult for a human being that which is devoid of meaning and does not pass through speech.

It is Dolto who owns the assertion that even an unborn child is already a person: "Every child gives himself life by his will to live."

The fact that the embryo lives and that the mother's organism does not reject the fetus testifies to the general desire for life. Thus, already from the moment of conception, the fetus is a future human being and is in constant communication with the mother: "Her emotional state and all the events she experiences affect his psychological structure." A mother "forgetting" that she is pregnant may resolve to have a severely mentally disabled child.

Emotional connection between mother and child

Psychologists and psychiatrists have revealed the presence of another significant factor - the quality of the emotional connection that exists between mother and child. The love with which she carries the child, the thoughts associated with his appearance, the wealth of communication that the mother shares with him, influence the developing psyche of the fetus.

Do you know that from the end of the third month, the finger of the fetus often ends up in the mouth? Thumb sucking can be caused by prolonged sadness or anxiety in the mother. Joy, excitement, fear or anxiety affect the rhythm of her heartbeat, blood circulation and metabolism: when the mother is happy, the blood carries the hormones of joy - endorphins; when sad or anxious - stress hormones catecholamines. The corresponding sensations (safety or danger) are also experienced by the child. The fetus, of course, perceives these signals still unconsciously, but with all its being it already feels how it is treated - with joy or anxiety, calmness or fear.

The attitude of the mother to the unborn child directly affects its development. Moreover, external stress factors do not directly affect the baby; only the mother, passing them through herself, admits or not their influence on the child. Strong positive emotions of a pregnant woman do not harm the child at all - on the contrary, hormonal changes, the diversity of the mother's inner life have a beneficial effect on the development of the baby. It is worse if the mother is in the grip of negative experiences for a long time, cannot or does not want to get rid of them.

Emotions and the space surrounding a person are characterized by a very close relationship. Misfortune, mental pain cause sensations of constriction of the heart, lack of air. Negative emotions such as fear, jealousy, anger, lead to a feeling of heaviness, poor health and enslavement. Joy, on the other hand, causes a feeling of spiritual comfort in the mother, which positively affects the child.

Remember: in order for the connection between mother and child to be strong, a conscious positive attitude towards the fetus is necessary for the formation of a healthy psyche of the child.

Sensory abilities of the fetus

The theory of prenatal education is based on the idea of the need to provide the embryo and then the fetus with the best materials and conditions. This should become part of the natural process of developing all the potential, all the abilities, originally incorporated in the egg.

The inner ear, which perceives sounds and transmits signals to the brain, is formed at the end of the sixth month of pregnancy, and the fetus perceives sounds and responds to them. For example, it is believed that choral singing improves the well-being and strengthens the nerves of the mother, who subsequently gives birth to healthy, calm babies who can quickly and easily adapt to a variety of situations. The latter is a sign of stable mental balance, which will be useful to the child in later life.

What to say to the fetus?

Few people know, but the sensory abilities of the fetus are truly limitless. Thanks to them, the bond between mother and child is only getting stronger.

If the father regularly talks to the fetus during his wife's pregnancy, then almost immediately after birth, the child will recognize his voice. Often parents also note that children recognize music or songs heard in the prenatal period. Moreover, they act on babies as an excellent sedative and can be successfully used to relieve strong emotional stress.
As for the mother's voice, its effect is so great that it is possible to relieve tension in children and adults and return them to a state of balance simply by listening to its recording made through a liquid medium. In this case, patients perceive the voice as they perceived it while in the womb and floating in the amniotic fluid. This return to the prenatal period, characterized by safety, allows both young and old patients to establish a new contact with the primary energy and eliminate unwanted phenomena.

The effect of music on the fetus

The fetus also selectively perceives the music that the mother listens to during the concert. Thus, the music of Beethoven and Brahms excites him, while the works of Mozart and Vivaldi calm him down. As far as rock music is concerned, only one thing can be said here: it makes him just rave. It has been observed that mothers-to-be are often forced to leave the concert hall due to the unbearable suffering experienced due to the violent movement of the fetus.

Constantly listening to music can become a genuine learning process. No one will take the liberty of asserting that a mother who often listened to music or played a lot of some musical instrument during pregnancy will certainly produce a composer, virtuoso musician or singer. Undoubtedly, the bond between mother and child will be strong and he will be receptive to music and to various sounds. In addition to the possible formation of certain abilities, the mother will certainly instill in the child a taste for music, which will greatly enrich his entire subsequent life. However, a developing creature remembers not only sensory information, but also stores in the memory of the cells information of an emotional nature that the mother supplies to it.

Not always the love of mother and baby arises from the first second of communication. Like any serious feeling, it goes through several stages, strengthening over time. Every sight, sound and touch is a link in the chain that links a mother and her child. This feeling of emotional intimacy, trust and mutual understanding will accompany them all their lives. An expert tells about the stages of the emergence of an emotional connection between a mother and a baby.

What is an emotional connection?

1. touch . Feeling the warmth of mother's hands gives the baby a sense of security and has a calming effect on him. In combination with the innate reflexes of the child, the touch of the mother contributes to his development and active knowledge of the world. For example, if you lightly stroke his cheek, the baby will turn his head in this direction, open his mouth and make several sucking movements. And when you touch the child's palm, you will see that he is making attempts to grab your finger.

A little later, the baby will begin to independently explore with his hands the face of the mother leaning over him. By changing facial expressions, depicting various emotions, puffing out your cheeks or sticking out your tongue, you can maintain his interest in this process. Over time, the child begins to touch the mother, wanting to make sure that she is near, or to attract attention.

Mom's advice: Make sure your hands are not too cold, hot, wet, or rough when you touch your baby. The skin of a child is too delicate for such influences, and they can cause negative emotions.

2. Massage . Touching the arms and legs of the child, stroking his back, giving the body different positions, the mother gives the baby an idea of the whole spectrum of tactile, vestibular and proprioceptive (i.e., associated with one's own body) sensations. On their basis, the crumbs form the skills of expressing emotions through facial expressions and gestures. This creates favorable conditions for the development and strengthening of emotional connection with loved ones.

Mom's advice: Pay attention to the activities that give the child the most pleasure. It does not matter if you fail to complete the entire set of exercises due to the protest of the baby. The main thing is that your interaction evokes positive emotions for both of you.

3. movements . Do not be afraid to "teach the child to the hands"! Wearing it throughout the day in different positions, hugging, dancing to the music, the mother helps the baby to get acquainted with the possibilities of his body. Getting used to the motor "style" of the mother, the baby remembers it and begins to recognize it even with his eyes closed.
For example, if you want to move a sleeping child from your bed to a crib, he may not even notice it.

Mom's advice: Swinging together and slowly in a chair or on a swing will help the child feel one with the mother, both physically and emotionally.

4. views . The more often the mother looks into the eyes of the baby, the faster he begins to focus his eyes on her face. Attracting the baby's attention with gentle words and sounds, bright toys, repeating the baby's facial movements lead to lengthening of periods of eye contact. Body-to-eye contact during eye contact also helps to maintain the infant's gaze.

By 2 months, the child begins to respond with a smile, first to any human face, and then, closer to 5 months, to distinguish his mother from other people, giving her a clear preference. As the emotional connection between mother and baby strengthens, eye communication and cognitive development based on it goes through several stages:
fixing the gaze on the mother's face and a toy placed in front of the child's eyes;
following a person or an object that changes position with a glance;
active search for mother's eyes or an object of interest.

Mom's advice: Put a bright clown nose on your face and show your child a "trick": let your own nose either hide behind a red balloon, or reappear. The same can be done with the palms covering the face while playing peek-a-boo. Such metamorphoses will delight the baby, and he will look forward to the next mother's appearance.

5. Smile . The first smiles of a baby appear spontaneously in a state of comfort. However, through a combination of eye contact, the sight of a smiling mother, her strokes, and the sound of her voice, smiling becomes a means of communication with other people. As the emotional connection between mother and baby strengthens, you can notice that they begin to cause a smile:
tickling;
fast repetitive movements;
games accompanied by physical activity (pulling up on the hands, jumping on the knees of the mother) or massage;
simple games (“patties”, “cooked porridge forty”, etc.);
recognition of familiar faces and objects.

6. Sounds . Nature has made sure that babies are sensitive to the high tone of a woman's voice. Commenting on your actions during bathing, changing clothes and other care procedures, you thereby stimulate the baby to verbal communication. Very soon, the child will begin to "walk", inviting his mother to a dialogue!

Mom's advice: Come up with "your" song for bathing, laying in the crib and other activities with the child. A little time will pass, and at the first sounds of a familiar melody, the baby will turn into an attentive listener.

7. Smells . Using various baby and personal care products, you can see that the child shudders and turns away if the smell is too intense, and smiles, clinging to the mother's body when the scent is unobtrusive. Getting used to certain smells and their sequence in the process of daily care, the baby will be able to “tune in” to bathing or sleeping in advance, showing less anxiety.
Different concentrations of substances produced by the body constitute a special "chemical signature" that is characteristic of each person. It is this “signature” that the newborn distinguishes by the 10th day of life, highlighting the smell of the mother among others.

Mom's advice: Babies love light and natural scents such as chamomile, green tea or lavender.

8. Tastes . Mother's milk, and a little later, other food received from mother's hands, is perceived by the child as a source of pleasure. Pretty soon, gratitude is added to the feeling of peace, which the baby expresses in all ways available to him: he puts his head on his mother’s shoulder, presses his cheek to her cheek, etc.

Mom's advice: If the child refuses to eat, do not force him. Take a short break, chat or play with him, and then offer food again.

What is emotional connection?

1. Cognitive activity.

It has been proven that children who receive a lot of attention show much more interest in the world around them. For example, compared to children left without parental care, children raised in a family “coo” 3 times more. This is because when she sees a baby, a woman instinctively begins to use special intonations, a rhythm of speech, and begins to speak in a higher voice. The baby reacts especially actively to such speech from the mother. A child who has the experience of receiving a response to his “appeal” soon begins to pause, waiting for the mother’s reaction. Such "conversations" are the basis for the development of speech.

Psychologists and physiologists have also noticed that when a child is in the arms of the mother or next to her, he begins to be more actively interested in toys and other objects. This is due to the sense of security that the mother's presence gives. The child does not have to be distracted by defending himself, and he directs all his energy to the knowledge of the world around him.

2. Physical development.

Active learning of new things is impossible without movements. The kid reaches for the toy, rolls over from his back to his stomach in order to crawl to the object of interest to him, sits down, gets up, etc. The feeling of insecurity and fear "paralyzes" the child in the literal sense of the word. The calming actions and words of the mother bring him back to action with new objects.

3. Relationships with other people.

Communication with the mother is the first experience of the baby in interaction with humanity. The child then transfers the knowledge and impressions gained to relationships with other people. So, if the mother treated him carefully and carefully, the baby looks at the world with wide eyes, not expecting a dirty trick. If the mother was often unfair, irritable, the child may show uncertainty or even aggression in relations with others.

4. The child's relationship with his own children in the future.

An emotional bond can span several generations. A loving mother with her care and attention shows the baby an example of how to communicate with children. Time will pass, and he will continue to interact with his own child in the same way!

Baulina Maria Evgenievna, Associate Professor of the Department of Clinical and Special Psychology, Moscow City Pedagogical University, PhD in Psychology, member of the JOHNSON’S® Baby Expert Council
magazine for parents "Raising a Child", March 2014

While still pregnant, every mother draws in her mind the image of her baby. Surely, you have heard about the psycho-emotional connection of the child with the mother. From a scientific point of view, all this is called such a dry term as imprinting, in other words, a connection at the level of the hormonal background formed in a woman and her newborn. The establishment of communication occurs at the first contact, when the child is immediately laid out on the chest after childbirth, she gently looks at him and whispers various "tenderness".

By the way, it is worth noting that, as such, the terminology " imprintin ha" arose from specialists studying the behavior of birds. At one fine moment, it became obvious that something similar was happening between people. Give mom a baby after birth for half an hour and she will recognize him both by crying and by smell. - did not happen, most likely, there will not be such a connection.
The first meeting of mother and baby is unforgettable. But even if it didn’t happen the way you pictured it in your dreams, that is, you weren’t allowed to caress the baby in the first minutes of his life, you still have everything ahead!

Take off your rose-colored glasses.

Those who have already given birth will definitely say that all this in reality turns out differently. Those who give birth for the first time in their dreams always have an ideal picture: “I gave birth and am immensely happy, they immediately brought me a baby and put it on my chest. , then all "for a long time and well, extremely, happily."

But ... Well, if you give birth without breaks and do not experience a terrible feeling after the withdrawal of anesthesia (in the case of a cesarean). Although you will be sure that your baby is the best, he will be far from the idea that you have come up with for yourself. Swollen and swollen eyes, a swollen nose, spots, etc. Perhaps they will let you immediately attach a crumb to your chest, but if there are a lot of operations, they will finish you faster, the child will be taken away for processing, and you will receive it only after three hours. And then your child may not immediately throw himself on his chest, but quietly "reject" it, and this happens. So you think about whether this theory is right.

But think about it, can you really forget the voice of your baby or his face that flashed for a few seconds to show, if you wore it for 9 months, gave birth for several hours. no. The connection between the child and the mother is so great that you simply cannot imagine. I would know for sure, although when they are swaddled like nesting dolls and laid out in a row, sometimes you will think if they gave me the right one))).

Remember, even if it so happened that you and your baby were separated: premature babies were transferred to the intensive care unit, or you are lying separately after a cesarean; you will not love him less and the connection will not be broken.

The child and mother always remain connected.

K. Lorenz introduced this concept by studying ducks, which, after appearing, strove for objects that could first catch their eye, and experienced a certain tenderness for them.

Forming a bond between mother and child is not a one-time imprint, as in the movies. Children are born, and every moment of life, the treasury of their experience is continuously replenished. and we begin to love them from the first positive pregnancy test, headlong rushing to buy vitamins for pregnant women and buying the first booties. And the baby at this time learns to distinguish our voice, reacting to our movements and mood changes. What is this, isn't it a relationship?

And the fact that this is true says such an amazing and touching story (watch the video):