Interesting Facts 

Differences in the emotional manifestations of women and men

“Run your fingers over my soul. At least once, just once, feel what I feel, believe in what I believe in, feel what I feel, see, realize, study and once, at least once, understand. " Understand this quote and this is all you need to know to understand why women are so emotional. Don't see it as a problem, just accept it as a fact. Women should be that way, so men should love them for who they are, not for what they want them to be. Men express their emotions in few words, but women need more detail. There are many more similar differences between men and women that need to be respected rather than tried to be corrected. This article will help you understand why women are emotional, expressive, and talkative. It contains factors that you should definitely pay attention to.

Left and right hemispheres of the brain

Men and women have different body structures, so it's no surprise that the brain also works differently. Women use the left and right hemispheres of the brain approximately equally, while men use the left hemisphere more. The left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for logical thinking and problem-solving skills, while the right hemisphere is responsible for prosodic language functions, creativity, facial perception, and the generation of emotions. Accordingly, the left hemisphere takes care of the person's IQ, that is, the intelligence quotient, while the right hemisphere is concerned with the EQ, that is, the emotion quotient. Thus, since men are more likely to use the left brain hemisphere, they are more efficient at dealing with problems using a rational and logical approach. Women use both hemispheres of the brain, so they act with creativity, while appealing to emotions. Also, the right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for a person's ability to express their feelings and thoughts, as well as for understanding languages. That is why it is known that women are much better at mastering foreign languages ​​and are more creative.

Women are better at expressing emotions

Women have a much more developed limbic system. The limbic system is responsible for aspects of a person's life such as behavior, emotions, and memory. It allows a person to better express their feelings and better form bonds with other people. However, the problem manifests itself in the fact that it opens the door to depression, especially during hormonal surges that occur during the menstrual cycle or pregnancy. Thus, during these periods, a woman may seem overly emotional or depressed.

Dealing with stress

Women also deal with stress differently. A hormone called oxytocin is released in the human body when a person is under stress. This hormone works differently in men and women. When a man is under stress, testosterone in his body reduces the effectiveness of oxytocin, which makes men more aggressive and angry. Women, on the other hand, have estrogen, which enhances the effect of oxytocin, which leads to feelings of calm and caring. Men are not very good at expressing their thoughts and feelings, so they react aggressively or viciously. Instead of dealing with the problem through conversation, they are always ready to get into a fight. Women, on the other hand, prefer to deal with stress in more peaceful ways. In a stressful situation, a woman is more likely to try to talk and understand or communicate with other people, feeling better after such communication.

Women feel more pain

The amygdala is a region of the brain that is activated when a person feels pain. The amygdala is also part of the limbic system, but is only responsible for emotions associated with pain. The amygdala is present in the brains of both men and women. However, despite this, men and women feel pain in different ways. Women feel more pain than men. This is supported by the fact that men receive a lower dose of morphine when they are in severe pain in order to achieve the same results as with a higher dose of morphine in women. And because women feel more pain than men, they are more likely to report it and are more likely to seek help.

Men and women are different

So the fact is that women are more sensitive than men and feel differently. They cry and grieve over little things, especially during PMS or when they are pregnant. Such big changes occur in the female body every month that even the most everyday tasks during such a period may seem like overwhelming work. This is why they seem to be more emotional when they are in pain or in a stressful situation. Men experience such situations with less intensity, it is not so easy to touch them emotionally. They are. Accordingly, when viewed from a man's point of view, women seem to be more emotional. Yes, women are emotional, but they are "very emotional" only when compared to men. Often women are really overly emotional, but in most cases this is due to hormonal changes that occur in their body, as well as because of what happened in the past. Some people, both men and women, cannot just pick up and forget what happened in the past. Such people do not let go of their past for a long time, and therefore they are often very emotional about trifles.

Men must be strong

Another factor is that a priori it is assumed that a man should be strong, and this perception is imprinted on his brain from early childhood. As a result, even if a man wants to cry or talk about something that happened to him, he will be forced not to. This is due to the society's perception of the norms of male behavior. Men are also emotional, but they rarely share their emotions.

conclusions

Even though men and women are constantly being compared and judged relative to each other, the truth is that they are created differently and have different characteristics. Understanding that a man and a woman are different from each other, but at the same time are inseparable, will help you understand that problems or conflicts between the sexes can be resolved by mutual understanding. People should respect each other for who they are. It is very important for both sexes to understand why women are so emotional. It can help women overcome depression or bad moods, and it can help men understand why women do this or that. Find out what women want and you will live a happy life.

Today on the women's site Beautiful and Successful we read a chapter from the book “Women can't park, and men can't pack! Psychology of stereotypes "... The author of the book, Jeff Rolls, is trying to figure out if some of the characteristics of women and men are true, or are they just prejudices.

You and I got the chapter "". Is it true that we are more emotional than men, or is it just a myth?

Emotional woman

The stereotypical view that women are more emotional than men has been widespread for a long time.

The word "hysteria", which means extreme manifestation of emotions, comes from the ancient Greek hystera(womb), and thus hysteria is by definition an exclusively feminine expression of emotion. When answering the question about the qualities of another person, 90% of people more often use the concept of "emotionality" in relation to women than to men.

Boys and girls cry at about the same rate during childhood, but during puberty girls cry more often than boys, and by age 18, girls cry four times more often than boys (Witchalls, 2003). One of the explanations for women's tearfulness may be based on the fact that there is more prolactin in the body of women, which is present in tears. It is also known that the lacrimal canals in women have a different shape than in men, although this is the cause or effect of higher tearfulness remains unknown. The higher likelihood of depression in women - some believe due to the way men treat them - may explain why they cry more often.

There is also a biological explanation for the higher emotionality of women, although it does not appear until the onset of puberty. Perhaps this is due to the fact that in the West we usually encourage boys to be strong and resilient and girls to be gentle and caring. In this sense, emotional women can be the product of our specific gender expectations. A person whose behavior is inconsistent with a gender stereotype (for example, a crying man or an overbearing woman) may receive more attention and be seen as more sincere than someone who is more conformist. While a crying woman is seen as “just another emotional person” with an “overreaction”, a crying man is seen as an honest person who is not afraid to show his feelings and who should be taken more seriously. Or at least it was until 1990, when footballer Paul Gascoigne burst into tears at the World Cup in Italy and thus initiated the male tradition of openly crying in public.

Harvard professor Ron Levant believes that men in the West undergo a socialization process that makes it difficult for them to develop emotionally. Women have a wide range of emotional responses that enable them to understand the point of view and emotions of others and thus develop "emotional empathy." Men, with their strong focus on "getting things done" and "overcoming problems", only have "empathy in action" at their disposal. Levant also argues that most men have only two responses to emotional problems in their arsenal: problems associated with vulnerability (such as fear or shame) are overcome with anger; problems associated with caring (such as love or close attachment) are overcome through sex. The 'traditional male stereotype' so widespread in the West encourages reactions like this: the Marlboro® cowboy, top film actors, sports stars, competitive dads ... They all reinforce stereotypes of what it means to be a 'real man' and any boy who deviates from this stereotype risks becoming the object of ridicule and an outcast among his peers (Levant, 1997).

One of the reasons women may seem more emotional than men has to do with how our memory works. Women have been found to have a better memory of emotionally important events: for example, they recall faster, more vividly, and more emotionally than their husbands about anything related to their first date, last vacation together, or a recent argument (Fujta et al., 1991). There are two possible explanations for this. The first is the “intensity of feeling” hypothesis that women code these memories better than men because they experience current events with greater intensity. The second explanation comes from the "cognitive style" hypothesis that women are more likely than men to code, rehearse, and ponder the emotions associated with the experience, which helps them strengthen and consolidate their memory.

Kenley et al., 2002) invited 12 men and 12 women to consider 96 images of various emotional significance: from a book cover that does not suggest any emotions to an emotionally rich picture depicting a dead person. Three weeks later, when participants were asked to recall images shown to them, women were 15% more likely than men to recall images that were emotionally charged. While the participants recalled images, they underwent brain scans. The scans showed that the two brain regions used separately for emotional processing and for forming memories appeared to overlap more in women than in men. This may indicate a biological reason for women's better ability to recall emotional events, but it is equally likely that the difference in the "electrical connection" of parts of the brain was developed in response to cultural socialization processes and is thus more an effect than a cause. It is interesting to note, however, that current scientific evidence supports the claim that women more than men cling to emotional memories — a fact that women have known for many years.

It is possible that women are considered emotional because of the physiological changes that affect their emotions at certain points in their menstrual cycle. A man can secretly ponder for a long time about whether it is possible to attribute the harsh words he heard to him to the approach of menstruation. Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or premenstrual tension occurs in 90% of women; about 30% find it to have a real negative effect, and 5% to 10% find this effect severe. More than 100 symptoms are associated with PMS, and the most common of these have a particularly strong effect on emotions, causing irritation, mood swings, depression, and unexplained tears (Owen, 2005). However, the topic of PMS is controversial. Some feminist scientists argue that normal bodily functions should not be called a “disorder,” and point out that PMS has only been considered on its own since the days when many women started working. They also argue that PMS is used by men as a method of "social control" that allows them to subjugate women and stereotype them as "the weaker sex."

Some societies have a more positive attitude towards menstruation than most Western cultures. With regard to PMS, neither the diagnosis nor the definition of this condition is universal, and the main "credit" for this belongs to the West: since other cultures recognize that women are influenced by the menstrual cycle, they do not consider it necessary to classify these effects as a syndrome. Psychologists do not have a uniform view of how PMS should be treated. Feminist psychologists, in particular Caplan (Caplan, 2005), believe that the very term PMS leads to unnecessary shaming of women, since it implies that they lose control of themselves once a month; other psychologists are confident that it helps all of us to better understand the potential consequences of this symptom.

An interesting study reported by Aubeeluck at the British Psychological Society conference ( BPS) in 2004 ( BPS, 2004), found that men also suffer from monthly mood swings. Obilak asked 50 men and 50 women to complete a questionnaire to assess several of the symptoms commonly associated with the menstrual cycle. Men reported at least as many symptoms as women, but attributed the observed effects to other causes. Obilak suggested that there are two things that can be drawn from this: women do not suffer from PMS, and / or men may also suffer from cyclical changes that have not yet been diagnosed. A third finding may be that men experience symptoms in response to their partners' PMS behaviors.

In conclusion, we can say the following: it is clear that women are more likely than men to express their feelings - regardless of the reasons that caused these feelings. However, men can be trained to express their feelings more skillfully and become more aware of their emotions; in fact, emotional intelligence may soon be seen as a prerequisite for a successful life. Men are no longer required to simply leave their homes and go hunting for food; it is now imperative for a man to be able to work in a team, to be able to listen to the opinions of others and be emotionally connected with his colleagues at work, and to interact better at home with his wife and children.

All rights to the book belong to the publishing house "Peter"

Misunderstandings between men and women, as between dogs and cats, are formed from a very early age, on the verbal and non-verbal levels. As a rule, the reaction to the same stressful situation in men and women is different. Very often, a man needs to be silent, and a woman needs to speak out. Nor do they understand each other's reactions. Such imbalances in the means of communication lead to misunderstandings in inter-sex communication. In this case, the educational function is assigned to the psychologist when he explains the motives of various models of behavior, giving the client an opportunity to look at his situation from the outside and get additional levers of influence. It is very important to understand how male and female emotionality differs.

Already at the age of three weeks, boys, in comparison with girls, sleep less and show anxiety for more time. They cry most often when a new or frightening object appears, which indicates their superiority over girls in their ability to recognize new objects and situations, and this reaction can be considered not only emotional, but also exploratory. Girls cry in a different situation - when there is a threat of deprivation of communication with others.

In situations that can be really dangerous (when meeting a stranger, climbing a height, reacting to unusual objects and a loud voice), both boys and girls experience fear alike. Both boys and girls are equally shy when it is necessary to move away from their mother, according to their behavior during the first visit to the child care institution. Preschoolers of both sexes experience the same anxiety when they are admitted to the hospital. Both boys and girls talk about their fears.

In adulthood, women are more emotional than men:

  1. Women are more anxious than men.
  2. For girls and women, the connection between emotions and interpersonal relationships is more significant than for boys and men.
  3. Women are more sensitive than men to those negative life events that their friends and relatives are experiencing.
  4. Women are more prone to depression.
  5. Women are more likely to talk about their negative emotions, such as sadness and fear.
  6. Women experience positive emotions more vividly.
  7. Girls and women are not shy about showing their emotions.
  8. Women are superior to men in the non-verbal expression of emotions and better understand other people's non-verbal emotional cues.

Men are less emotional than women:

  1. Boys and men do not seek to show their emotions, especially negative ones.
  2. They are emotionally reserved even with friends of the same gender.
  3. Society does not encourage men to express their emotional experiences.

But men greatly surpass women in emotionality when experiencing negative emotions such as anger, contempt, disgust, and more accurately understand non-verbal signals that indicate the experience of anger in others.

It is very important to note that the "masculine" emotion is anger, and the "feminine" emotion is sadness and fear.

When and if, when communicating with other people, you realize and take into account these differences, then your relationships with people are more comfortable and bright.

As a rule, women are inherently more emotional, vulnerable and impulsive than men. Many people perfectly understand that women need to give positive emotions, but they often forget about the other side, or sometimes they simply do not attach much importance to the fact that women also need to throw out negative emotions - these are two important components of female happiness. This is an eternal question - what women want, in particular, what women want from men. And today we will talk about what women sometimes lack so much - emotional support.

Emotions are a woman's nature. About women's emotions

I never cease to refer to this amazing book from time to time, as it opens my eyes to many things, including the answer to the question “What do women want”. Women are also very sensitive to the emotions and intonations of men, so men often do not understand why women are offended, they do not notice and do not attach much importance to their words (intonation). “How could you say that?” The woman says, “How so?” The man replies in bewilderment, he’s in shock, what is it about, “And you don’t remember or what? the head all day, the man replies, "Mmm, I didn't even pay attention" - the woman says offendedly, "What is it all about" - the man is defeated. Or just try to joke about the appearance of your beloved woman - they will be offended right away, it is better not to take risks in this way, do not even think of saying something bad about their beauty, this is a very vulnerable place for most women.

Men sometimes brush aside “You can't understand these women,” which means that they just don't want to understand them. This is the same as the car does not go - well, her, constantly damn it breaks down, what she needs, drove and drove, and she took it out of the blue and stalled. And sometimes the problem is simply that gasoline has run out, but many in relationships do not want to delve into even small problems - it means selfishness, everyone wants to be understood, but he does not want to understand others, but at the same time does not want to admit it. How modern culture is built - the relationship has become worse, we went to throw tantrums and look for another, which means - the gut is thin to love. Love does not only mean taking all the best, and when there is nothing left, then send it to all four sides, you need to learn to endure the shortcomings of a loved one.

"To educate by the strength of another person is called exploitation, and learning to accept is already called love." Oleg Torsunov

“But I don’t tolerate a woman’s tantrum, I was offended - her problems, that to be offended by trifles, the same reason for me, and nothing - he asks me for forgiveness later” - many men declare. And what do you think, she freed herself from negative emotions and experiences, no - she will explode even stronger later, and not that there will be no apologies, there will be no mercy, and you yourself will be to blame for this, and all because you did not want to understand feminine nature, you would have a feminine body - you would not live a day unprepared. Now, if your wife listens to you, when you shout at your boss after work, then you listen to your wife - this is what women want from men, although it is harder for women to listen to this, they have nowhere to put it, except to tell another. But a man can experience it inside himself, or at least not take everything so personally.

It is much harder for women to listen to guys "Dear, what is bothering you, I see that something is bothering you" - the woman asks, "It will be worse, you better not ask" - the man answers, "Yes, everything is fine, speak up" - the woman continues to insist. “Okay, listen,” the man breaks down, and as a result, “Why did you tell me all this?” The woman replies, “Well, you don’t need to say it,” the man ends the conversation. Men inside themselves can survive all this, they just do not need to be touched at this time, although sometimes they also need it. Yes, it worries you, you feel that something is wrong, but if he starts to share, as a rule, it does not get any easier, it only gets worse. Sometimes, not only a man, but also a woman needs to be alone, not to touch her for some time, let him just stay in silence, away from the hustle and bustle and endless streams of information. You should not pressure the person to open up in front of you, but at the same time show your loved one that you are ready to listen to him when he is ready for it.

What women want from men is attention and care, sincere, and not just for show. For many men, unfortunately, giving a gift is just to do something for show, and you try to show sincere attention to her needs and requirements, and at least ask how you spent your day - and really listen, and not like some formality. To listen to a woman is what they really want, and what they often lack, or when it’s bad - to hug and kiss, in one word to calm down. When a person does not put his soul into his actions, then such falsity is often noticed, especially by women. They do not need fur coats and diamonds first of all, but attention and care, but, unfortunately, even many women are convinced that happiness will come primarily from fur coats and diamonds, but still, after countless gifts, they remain in deep down unhappy and dissatisfied.

Why do many women want more and more things and there is no end to it - the guys are perplexed. And the fact is that they want happiness, they will not be satisfied with gifts alone, they are not satisfied with gifts, but love. They are trying to artificially create such an atmosphere around them - yes, this also plays a role, but without a close relationship, a woman will not be able to fully become happy. And the problem is that women look at others and begin to imitate them, seeing that many are striving for this - as a result, neither many women realize their deepest needs, nor men. “What they just want, what the girls want” - the guys are surprised, well, I give her everything - an apartment, a car, and dresses, and jewelry, but she is still not satisfied, but she needs a deep relationship, she needs to give love - this is the main gift.

Women want companionship from men, deep warm heart-to-heart communication, many women themselves have perverted the concept of real happiness in their minds, and they sincerely believe that only material gifts contain happiness. Whatever one may say, you won't leave with gifts alone, and if a man cannot have a heart-to-heart talk with his wife, then there will be another man to whom she will open up, and then there is no need to be surprised “How dare she, I give her everything, and she is what she repaid me ”- there’s nothing surprising at all, you didn’t give her the main thing. They need emotional support, they need a person next to them who could listen to them and tolerate their female behavior in a good sense of the word: sudden and unpredictable, often like an unreasonable manifestation of emotions, also whims, resentment, sometimes tantrums and the like, relieve them of fears and shield from ourselves, to help cope with our own emotions. Yes, they need it - such a person is able to save a woman from worries, from the accumulation of negative emotions, and gifts, jewelry, courtship, attention and the like are what fills women with positive emotions.

The man himself must also understand that not everything rests on the fact that he brings home his salary. The family is a team game, where everyone has an equal role. A man scores goals in attack - great, but you shouldn't think that everything rests on this alone, since the question is how many balls hit your goal, where exactly. A man must learn to take on a feminine character.

“If a man is in control of his feelings, a woman feels very comfortable in the family. If a man is not in control of his feelings, the woman is constantly worried and twitches. If a man says to his wife: "Calm down in the end," it means that he does not understand who should be the first to calm down, he does not fulfill his duties " Oleg Torsunov

Where a woman is able to feel more love - when she is hugged at times when she feels bad, or when she feels good - of course, when she is in a bad mood. It is easy to calm down when she is a little sad, even pleasant at times - well, don't cry, don't cry, everything is fine. And when she really suffers, pushes you away, does not want to hug you back, and it is not clear what she needs, she is like a cobra at this time - the hunt to stay away from her. Now, if at this time a man dares to approach and calm a woman, a deep trace of gratitude remains on her heart, this is true love. It manifests itself when a loved one is hard, not good., a woman sits rooted to the spot at this moment, and she does not even have the strength to say words of gratitude, it is at this time that she creates a belief in a man that he is a real man. But if a man calmed the woman down and drags her to bed, then this is a real goat who took advantage of the situation, and he does not have deep feelings for you, he really does not feel your worries.

The woman was offended that she was not hugged, and she hinted all evening - but men often do not notice this, do not understand at all what they are talking about, what hints. Then she feels bad, you hug her, and then the second test of strength - "You can only hug me when I feel bad" - the man is in a panic, I don't hug - it's bad, I hug - too, but what does she need - try to endure that. Then he says “Let me go” and breaks free and resists for such a long time, and if you let go, then he will be offended even more, saying “He couldn't even hug me tightly,” and your any excuses will be smashed to smithereens. Then he can say a bunch of nasty things, all the sediment that has accumulated from time to time, such a specific outburst of negative emotions, and all this must be endured with dignity, without saying anything in response. This is the real test of how much you love your woman, how much you understand and realize what women want from men.

Men are able to experience emotions within themselves, the psyche works this way, but we are talking about real men, and not who are as emotional as women. And for this you need to be able to control your feelings, a man should not be strongly attached to a woman, otherwise he will react very strongly to a woman's mood, and their mood changes very often . It is different for women, they can only accumulate and throw out their emotions. So when women do not throw out their emotions, crush them, or there is simply no one to throw them out, then in this case problems arise both with the psyche, the general emotional background, and with health. As a rule, women endure, endure, and then the explosion and the end of the relationship - it means that either the woman herself, or the man did not allow to express emotions. And as we have already said, what women want in a relationship is to express their emotions, so that people around them accept not only positive, but also negative emotions of a woman, they want others not to devalue their feelings and experiences.

It is very good when women understand that it is necessary not to put emotions in the farthest closet, but to learn how to correctly express their emotions. When there is a person next to whom they can speak out - a great success. Breakdowns, throwing tantrums, bursting into tears - these are all the outburst of emotions, the same "critical days" also contribute to the release of accumulated emotions outside, and this is correct, this is normal! There is a way out of something that women sometimes did not seem to worry about, it was just sitting somewhere in the back, and from the side of the listener, usually a friend or husband, the main thing is to recognize what to listen to and what is not at that moment. In this stream of words and emotions, some aspects are only a pretext for the release of emotions, so women can sometimes so zealously worry about a broken nail or peeling varnish, but there is something that needs to be heeded, what should be paid attention to, what needs to be changed in their behavior ...

In the end, I want to say only the following words: and accept the nature of a loved one, but just do not force the other person to accept your nature, especially when you do not accept his nature.