The collection includes the most famous stories of the remarkable writer Yuri Sotnik: "How I was independent", "Tamers" and others. Heroes of the Centurion are cheerful and enterprising guys who get into the most incredible troubles, but they never lose heart and are always ready to help a friend.

A series: Extracurricular reading (Rosman)

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by the LitRes company.

Is it easy to be independent?

Do you think you can be called independent? Surely you will confidently answer: “Yes!” And why? What can you do yourself? Here's someone who takes pride in being able to go grocery shopping. Someone without the help of parents knows when to do homework and when to go for a walk. And someone can cook breakfast for the whole family. Yes, he will also wash the dishes, and help his little brother get ready for school.

Here is Lesha Tuchkov, the hero of the story “How I Was Independent,” at the age of nine he managed to live alone, without parents, and organize a rehearsal of a school play right at home. And what a commotion the other extremely independent boy Borya from the story “The Viper” made when he was riding a train - you don’t want anyone to get into such a mess! In general, it turned out that independence is a tricky thing. But you yourself will soon be convinced of this, because before you is a whole book of stories about Lesha, Borya and other boys and girls. Yuri Vyacheslavovich Sotnik (1914-1997) wrote about these guys, and he already knew what independence is and what it costs.

And it all started a very long time ago. Back in 1924, fourth grader Yura Sotnik decided to write a story about a kitten that lived in his apartment. “What if the cat kept a diary and wrote down everything he sees and hears there?” - he thought, wrote a story, sent it to a school competition ... and won first place! Then Yura asked his mother: is it possible not to go to work, like other people, but only write stories and live it? Mom said: "You can, but for this you need to become a writer."

Only to become a writer is even more difficult than to become independent. There is a lot to know and a lot to see. So Yuri Sotnik tried so many different occupations, mastered so many professions, which is simply amazing! And he was engaged in photography, and worked in a newspaper, and served as a fireman, and fished, and even was a timber rafter on the northern Lena River. And everywhere he noticed various interesting things, remembered funny stories.

Maybe that's why his stories are always true, everything in them is real: friendship, resentment, and doubts of the heroes are the same as we have with you. And if adventures sometimes seem incredible, then they are adventures, and this only makes us more interesting. Yes, and what just does not happen in life, especially when you learn to be independent!

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The following excerpt from the book How I was independent (collection) (Yu. V. Sotnik, 2016) provided by our book partner -

Independence is a very desirable, but in some cases difficult to achieve quality. How to influence its formation in a child? How to ensure that children grow and develop independently? And when can you start instilling this useful quality in your child?

First of all, it should be clarified what, in fact, is meant by the word "independence". This, according to Ushakov's explanatory dictionary, implies the following: "existence apart from others, independently." In addition, independence means decisiveness, the ability to act independently, initiative and the absence of fear of mistakes, freedom from the influence of others and the help of outsiders.

Very often, parents misinterpret the concept of “independence”. In their opinion, the child will be independent if he unquestioningly does what adults tell him. But in reality, it is rather the ability to follow instructions and directions, that is, obedience. And the independence of the child is, first of all, his "separation" and autonomy.

The child very early becomes interested in performing certain actions. At seven months, he rejoices when he manages to get a toy on his own. In a year, he is satisfied if he is given the opportunity to sit down himself, and after that he begins to eat without the help of adults. That is, independence begins to manifest itself early, but at the same time this quality requires development and consolidation.

Techniques for developing independence in a child

In order for your baby to try everything he can in the future, to do it himself and enjoy it, you need to use the right parenting techniques. First, it is very important to encourage independence in the child. A small child will want to perform some action himself only if his efforts give a positive result. In addition, it is very important for him how the surrounding adults react to this. The child wants to receive praise and approval from elders. It is for this reason that parents should try to encourage independence in their child.

The development of independence in children is a complex process, and you need to be patient. Do not rush to help your baby, be patient. Try to get him to handle a difficult situation on his own, and then praise him. Help only if the child definitely cannot do it himself, but at the same time do not do it for him, but act with him.

Formation of independence in children

Passivity and lack of initiative is the main thing for children of primary preschool age. The independence of schoolchildren is formed even when the child is not seven years old. But parents often do not attach any importance to this, hoping that the child will simply grow up. Before that, they do everything for him, without waiting for him to take the initiative. But in fact, school age in itself will not become that magical period when a child suddenly begins to show such qualities as responsibility and independence. This is wrong, with the dependence of a child on an adult, you need to start fighting at an early age, when the baby begins to walk, eat, and so on.

Gradually, the child must independently do what he can do. And parents should not interfere too much in his activities, but are obliged to teach their child to associate his actions with the result, that is, responsibility.

How to teach a child to order

Parents are very often upset by the fact that their already grown up child does not want to maintain order and take care of self-service issues. He makes the bed only after reminders, things are scattered around the room, and the dishes are not removed after eating. How to prevent the development of such a situation? According to most adults, the only thing is putting toys in their places. But experienced teachers assure that it is better to accustom a child to order at the age of five. It will be much more difficult to do this later. The baby is able to bring himself a cup, put a plate in the sink and perform many other simple tasks already at the age of one and a half years, if, of course, you give him such an opportunity. If you do everything for him, then how will he learn independence?

Adolescent autonomy

The question of how to teach a teenager to be independent is very important for parents. This period is a crisis, as it is associated with the child's awareness of himself as a person with his own characteristics and character. For him, peer assessment is of great importance, through which the very perception of a teenager is refracted. During this period, he, like a two-three-year-old kid, tries to test the rules for strength in order to form his own moral and ethical code. However, this is only a continuation of the formation of the thinking of an autonomous person, separate from adults, and not the beginning of the development of independence.

Why does a child become dependent on parents? Mainly because he gets used to the fact that his parents decide and do everything for him. This reduces his sense of his own competence and forms dependence on the opinions and tips of others. The child gets older, but at the same time continues to think that he is unable to do or decide anything without the help of adults.

Why is it necessary to develop independence in a child?

This is a very important process of growing up a person. At the same time, the goal of developing independence is not only to teach the child to serve himself and clean up after himself. It is important to pay attention to the development of such qualities accompanying independence as the formation of one's own opinion, self-confidence. The child must learn to make decisions and take responsibility for them, not be afraid of the consequences and the desire to take the initiative, be able to set goals, achieve them and not be afraid to make mistakes. After all, it is much easier to get down to business if the assessment of others does not have much influence.

Firstly, independence is a sign of having a strong character, which - and we are talking about men - is very useful to have. Such men are respected by others, and the owner of this character himself has something to respect himself for.

Secondly, independence is a sign of a man's self-sufficiency, and the habit of being true to himself. Nice habit, you know. Again, respectful in every sense.

And thirdly, independence is independence from external influences; whispering, slander, other people's opinions, even bossy coercion and the ability to do without outside help. And also this lack of need and desire to ask for any help. Because if you fulfill your request, you unwittingly become a debtor of this person. Indebted to him. What kind of independence after that, to hell.

Independence implies initiative, determination and courage. This is the fourth. It is more interesting to live with initiative, resolute and courageous. And more fun. And girls love them too. Some pluses...

Summarizing the above, independence is a trait, no, a property of a worthy and proud person. That is, a person, in particular, a man, who is now in a terrible deficit.

What else does independence mean?

The ability and desire to set goals in life. Choose them. And it is possible to find it yourself, if the Omniscient allows it. And follow these goals strictly.

Are there problems?

An independent person decides them himself. At my own expense, so to speak.

Independence is freedom of choice. And the ability to pay for this freedom. Because everything has its price, and the further in life, the higher the price. And independence is a sign of adulthood. And personal responsibility. For everything that happens to you and around you.

Independence is self-control. Not outside control. If someone controls you from the outside, you are not a free person. And that means it's not independent.

What is self-control?

Well, for example, you really want to hit the bastard in the ear. But you don't because you control your emotions. You just hit the bastard in the stomach, and when he folds in half, you add to his neck. That's what self-control is.

Independence is the responsibility for one's own choice. And willingness to pay for this choice. And she can be, oh, how big. And if you pay at the price presented to you and stay on your feet, you are a completely independent person.

Of course, an independent person provides for himself, and does not beg for beer or an apartment from his parents and relatives. Moreover, he will not allow anyone to support himself, as, for example, Gosha performed by Alexei Batalov from the film “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”. An independent person will not allow to live at the expense of even a person dear to him, and will turn inside out, but he will be able to provide for himself and the person who is dear to him.

And in general, an independent person is good.

A dependent one is just a weakling...

Sometimes there are situations when the child has already grown up, but he does not know how to perform elementary actions without the help of his mother: make the bed, get dressed, pack a briefcase, wash. Independence- this is an important quality, without which it is extremely difficult for a person in the modern world to exist. The sooner a child learns to be independent, the easier it will be for him and his parents in the future. Therefore, it is important teach your child to be independent.

Why is it important to be independent

Many simple actions that parents do not pay due attention to stimulate the development of the brain, fine motor skills. For example, this happens when the baby himself fastens his shirt, ties his shoelaces. Early accustomed to independence, children become organized, disciplined and successful adults who are able to take responsibility for their actions, make decisions, rely only on themselves. When a child solves certain problems without asking his parents to help him, he becomes self-confident, more willing to take the initiative and develop as a person.

The thought “I myself” first appears in a baby at the age of 2-3 years. During this period, he actively explores the behavior of others, copies their actions, trying to independently reproduce and understand them. Over time, this zeal disappears, so it is important to start teaching the child be independent from 2 years old.

An independent child can be called when he can solve daily household tasks on his own, overcome some difficulties without the help of adults. The child should be able to serve himself and take care of things around him (brush his teeth, clean up dirty dishes, dress, clean up the nursery, water the flowers). The child should be familiar with real household items. Toys are not suitable for learning to be independent. For the first few times, it's best to do the activity with your child, like washing the dishes. As soon as the parents are convinced that the child has mastered, it is necessary to give him freedom of action. This will help him create his own style of behavior, and not repeat after adults all the time.

For a child to feel independent, he must feel that his opinion matters to parents and other family members. It is important to make decisions concerning him personally, having consulted with him and having heard his opinion. For example, you can ask your child what he wants to eat for breakfast: scrambled eggs, porridge or tea with a sandwich? The kid will understand how important it is to have an opinion and be independent.

Parenting Mistakes

Parents make mistakes that not only prevent the baby from becoming independent, but also give rise to many complexes and fears. Do not constantly correct the child. He must learn to find his own mistakes and correct them. A child who is often corrected becomes dependent on the opinions of adults and needs their approval.

Many parents do not give their child the opportunity to become independent. They prevent him from taking the initiative. For example, if a child wants to wash his own hair, parents resist, confident that adults should know better how to properly set the temperature and massage the head. Let the child make mistakes at first. This is completely normal, the main thing is that he will have his own experience. The task of parents is to be near, to follow, encourage and guide, not forgetting to praise the baby for his small successes and initiative.

There comes a time when every parent teaches their child to eat, drink, dress, brush their teeth on their own. It would seem that such simple and ordinary things that every child sooner or later learn to do. But autonomy lies not only in ordinary physical skills. To instill independence in the child, it is also necessary to pay special attention to the education of volitional independence.So that the kid can make the right decisions in his life and not be afraid to make a mistake.

The task of parents is to teach their little one to make an informed choice. P teach a child to be independent follows from an early age, because it is during this period that a person’s personality is formed. In this article, we will talk about how to teach a child independence, what are the styles of education, what mistakes do parents make.

In order to start raising an independent child, it is necessary to understand what independence is.

Independence is such a property of a person, which manifests itself in initiative, adequate self-esteem, criticality and the ability to be responsible for one's actions and deeds. An independent person is able to set goals for himself, achieve them, can solve his problems, exist independently of others.

Independence is not only physical skills and abilities, independence is a way of life, the ability to make the right choice, solve problems, take responsibility for one's actions, not depend on the opinions of other people.

Education of independence in children should be based on four main criteria:

• it is necessary to form an adequate self-esteem in the child
• Develop initiative in your little one
• Develop critical thinking, especially in teenagers
• Cultivate a sense of responsibility

Many parents believe that independent children become closer to 10-15 years. Actually, this is an erroneous assumption. At this age, it is already difficult to instill independence in your child, it will be difficult for him to do something without outside help and be responsible for his actions.

When does a child become independent? With proper upbringing, already at the age of three, a baby is able to be independent: he can take care of himself, is aware of his obligations, and has simple self-service skills. Such children develop qualities such as purposefulness and self-confidence better.

Why are children not independent? How it starts

Definitely, every parent wants only the best for their children, take care of them, try to protect the baby from any failures, some give them excessive guardianship in almost everything. Such parents are afraid that by showing independence, the child may make a mistake. Of course, it is much faster to feed your child, while he is still struggling to bring a spoonful of porridge to his mouth, to dress him, to put away toys for him. But in this way, parents stop any of his initiative. As a result, some children grow up without initiative and helpless people.

Another option is too strict parents. In this case, the baby is simply afraid to do something on his own, what if he fails or does it wrong, which can upset his mom or dad. There is only one way out for him - not to show initiative, so as not to bear any responsibility for his actions.

best time for development of independence in preschool children starts at the age of 2-3 years. It is during this period that kids begin to become the most proactive. Observing others, they want to perform any actions themselves. There comes the so-called period "I myself".

At this age, the baby begins to realize that he is a person, separate from mom and dad, checks his independence, what he himself is capable of, while observing the reaction of adults.

It is very important to allow the baby to be independent, you do not need to do everything for him. But this does not mean that the little man needs to be allowed everything. Such an approach can harm or cripple the child. It is important for parents to be there, to support the baby, to help and explain.

parenting styles

50 years ago, psychologist Diana Baumrind expressed the opinion that family upbringing is based on such basic qualities as responsiveness and exactingness. Due to various combinations of these qualities, various types of education appear. Despite this, only one of them allows you to bring up an adequate sense of responsibility in the baby, while not harming his personality.

Authoritarian style

Parents who raise their children this way are very demanding of their baby. They pay special attention to rules and control. They perfectly understand what is right and wrong, what can be allowed and forbidden, what is harmful and what is useful. Parents are convinced that only strict rules can protect their child from various failures. If the kid does something not according to the rules, he should definitely be punished, otherwise he will “sit down on his neck”.

This type of upbringing combines high demands and low responsiveness. Experts in the field of psychology argue that such children grow up as hardworking people, but not self-confident, lacking initiative, with rather low self-esteem. Children of authoritarian parents are not able to make a decision, they rely on the opinion of a more authoritative person.

Indulgent style

Parents who raise their children according to the indulgent style always listen to the wishes of the crumbs and go to a meeting. They believe that various prohibitions or punishments have not been relevant for a long time and such methods in education are outdated.

Most often, such parents themselves in childhood did not receive enough care from their relatives. And in this way they try to make up for the lack of parental affection. For example, adults may remember that their father or mother was cold enough towards their child that they think: “I will raise my baby differently”. Indulgent parents want to show their baby that they are not only mom and dad, but also his friends.

In this style, high responsiveness is a priority. The requirement here is minimal. An indulgent parenting style is not right, because parents who refuse punishment for the misconduct of the baby risk raising a selfish, narcissistic person who will believe that everyone owes him, and his desires must be fulfilled this minute.

Democratic style

The most acceptable type of education is democratic. Here exactingness and responsiveness are evenly combined. Democratic parents know how to hear their baby, take into account his opinion. At the same time, they can apply punishment for certain behaviors and actions (for example, when a child offends another, behaves incorrectly). Such parents can always explain to the baby what exactly upset them, why the punishment or ban followed. Relationships are always built on conversation.

Democratic parents differ from authoritarian ones in that the former always give the child some freedom within reason. For example, parents raising children in a democratic style will tell the baby: "you can watch cartoons, but first put your toys away". Such children learn to properly perceive boundaries and take responsibility for their actions.

In reality, parenting styles may differ. For example, dad is strict, and mom is rather gentle with her baby. It is important for parents to come to one particular type of upbringing. Only in this case, the little one will begin to realize what can be done and what cannot. Do not forget that the baby must know that he is being heard and his opinion is also important.

How not to teach independence in a child

Teach your child to be independent actually not as difficult as it seems. Often, moms and dads, wanting to help their crumbs, interfere with the adequate development of his personality. Of course, when the baby is a year or two, he is not yet able to fully serve himself, and parents will take care of and support their child for many years to come. But this does not mean that parents should always make decisions for him and do some work.

Typical mistakes of parents in raising an independent child

1. Commanding tone. In this case, the baby’s room will always be clean, but not because he wants it himself, but because he is simply afraid to go against the will of his parents. In this case, adults do not give the right to choose, do not take into account the opinion of the crumbs.
2. Substitution of concepts. Here, parents shield the child in every possible way: “Do you want to clean up your toys? It's okay, you're probably just a little tired." The substitution of concepts prevents the formation of a sense of awareness. And without this, it is impossible to bring up independence.
3. Help out of compassion. The child does not take lessons until the last? Moms or dads want to help their child, because he is still so small and he wants to play. In this case, the child will not learn to be responsible.
4. Taunts. Basically, a young child is not yet able to fulfill any requests from adults as well as the parents themselves. He has not yet gained enough experience or dexterity. In no case should you mock or joke, even in a kind way, over the results of his activities. Otherwise, the baby may lose faith in himself and will no longer want to take the initiative.

How to raise an independent child

Developing independence in young children Parents need to be patient. Indeed, sometimes it is easier to take and feed the baby, clean up toys for him, etc., thereby preventing his own initiative. It depends only on the parents how independent, independent and responsible the little one will grow up.

1. Let your child make their own choices. You don’t need to decide everything for the child, give him a choice: “today let’s go for a walk in the park or on the playground?”, “What will you have for breakfast: an omelet or a casserole?”, “Which blouse will we wear: green or blue?”. Thus, the baby learns to think and make decisions.
2. Ask your child for help, trust simple household chores. For example, help sort out a bag of groceries, throw out unnecessary garbage during cleaning. Always praise the child, even if the result did not quite suit you. The baby will know that his mother appreciates his help, and he will want to help again.
3. Let the kid do research, get experience. A child can take apart a new toy not because he wants to break it, he is interested in how it works. Try to get rid of words like "Don't touch!", "Don't run!", "Don't jump!".
4. Entrust an older child with daily chores such as watering flowers or changing water for a cat or dog. At first, it will need to be controlled and reminded. Do not forget to encourage the baby, and when guests come, tell us what a responsible and independent child you have and that thanks to him, such beautiful flowers grow on your windowsill.
5. No need to do for the baby what he himself already knows. If the child can already hold a spoon and bring it to his mouth, let him eat on his own.
6. Teach your child, show by example. First show how to make your bed, then do it together, and then let the baby do it on his own.
7. Let your child make mistakes. After breakfast, invite your little one to wash their plate. And it doesn't matter how well he does it. Do not criticize, on the contrary, praise him, and yourself, while the baby is passionate about the game, wash it properly.
8. Think over each of your prohibitions. Of course, there are necessary prohibitions for the safety of the baby (crossing the road in the wrong place, overeating with sweets), but sometimes parents pronounce the word “no” for their own convenience. After all, it is easier to forbid the baby to touch the mop than to show how to clean the floor properly.
9. Help when the child asks. Teach your child to ask you for help when he is unable to do something on his own. But it shouldn't look like your child doesn't want to put away toys because he's tired and you start cleaning right away. No, the help of parents is absolutely not needed here. The child needs help if he really cannot cope on his own with some task.
10. Create conditions for self-study or games. For example, . If the child is already old enough, it is not necessary for him to sculpt, draw, or make applications under the supervision of an adult. And do not forget about the freedom of choice, let the kid decide for himself whether he wants to sculpt or draw today. Teach your child to find their own activities.
11. Ask your child for advice or opinions. When the baby was still very young, the parents decided everything for him. If you continue to adhere to this behavior, then the child gets used to the fact that any problem can be solved for him. And if you consult with your child, he feels his importance.
12. Believe in your child. If you support the baby, believe in his strength, then later this will give a huge success in raising independence. Praise, tell him. that he will succeed, ask. does he need your help.
13. Try to avoid overprotection. No need to constantly lead the child by the hand, forbid fast cycling, and so on. Thus, you suppress his initiative and the baby may develop not quite adequate self-esteem.
14. Set the right example. After all, kids always copy the behavior of loved ones. If you never wash dishes after eating, then your child most likely will never do it either.

Summing up, we can say that the most important thing for raising an independent child is it's just not to interfere with him and not to do for him what he himself can, but only to show and direct. There is no need to look for excuses for lack of time (it is easier to feed or dress the baby), or that the baby is still very small. Thus, parents gradually more and more hinder the development of independence and initiative of the baby.