The child is constantly crying and naughty 2. Increased tearfulness and moodiness in children

Children 3-4 years old are quite independent people: they attend kindergarten, prefer classes to their liking. Plus, they are old enough to talk about their needs. Then where do the tantrums and moods that bother parents come from? What should tired mothers do if a three- or four-year-old baby is constantly crying and naughty?

The age of three is a fertile time for the emotional and cognitive development of children. They gain new experience, understand more and, at the same time, experience acute conflicts. All these problems are superimposed on the crisis of three years, when the previously docile kids become whiny, capricious and obstinate, flatly refusing to fulfill the demands of adults. Often they behave ugly: stomp their feet, cry, shout, throw objects that are within reach.

Causes of children's tears and whims

Many parents do not understand why their child is constantly crying and naughty. And the sources of such behavior usually lie on the surface, just not always they can be immediately recognized.

1. Kid requires your attention, he lacks communication with his parents, he wants to see evidence of his own "need". The desire for maternal love and affection is a basic need for a child.
2. Capricious, children want to get what they want, for example, a gift, sweets, permission to take a walk - something that moms and dads do not allow for reasons unknown to the kids.
3. Child protests against parental dictate, overprotectiveness, demonstrating a desire to become independent and self-reliant. This is typical for authoritarian parenting methods. Remember how often you say to your son or daughter: "Quickly put on this jacket", "Stop staring around."
4. Crying and whims can be without an obvious reason. Maybe baby overworked, did not get enough sleep, watched a family quarrel. Many components affect children's mood, so you need to analyze them all.

Let's take a closer look at each option and find out what parents should do if a child at 3-4 years old is constantly naughty and crying.

Desire to communicate

The advice is simple and complex at the same time: if you want to avoid tears and whims, spend more time with your children. Of course, parents often do not have enough time for close and full-fledged communication with their child. But the main thing here is not the number of minutes, but their quality... You do not need to give up household chores, communicate with your child in the process of implementing them.

Organize common parties and family gatherings more often. In addition to the traditional feast, come up with interesting entertainment, contests for all family members. Another way is to go to a circus, an amusement park, or go out of town. There would be a desire, but there are a lot of options to have fun with the household.

Reaction to prohibitions

The baby should have the opportunity to explore the world around him. Your task - help, and not interfere with children's curiosity. This requires set clear boundaries, streamline requirements and reduce the number of prohibitions, leaving only the most important... Usually they relate to child safety, and they must be strictly followed.

Make a baby homework helpers, presenting new responsibilities in a playful way. Are you preparing lunch? Invite your toddler to wash vegetables or feed a cookie. Do you wash your clothes? Give him a basin and offer to wash your blouse. There are several advantages to joint business affairs. First, you control the actions of your child. Secondly, you can explain to him the danger of household items.

Self-affirmation

A child at 3-4 years old begins to perceive parental care not only as a manifestation of love, but also as a suppression of independence and an annoying hindrance. At this age, children need a kind balance of care and freedom. You don’t want to raise a “comfortable” baby who is a little troublesome, but he himself does not strive for accomplishments?

For example, a three-year-old misbehaves at dinner: refuses porridge, demands other dishes, pushes the mug of jelly aside. If you start to force him, he will continue to be capricious, and here it is not far away to full-fledged hysteria. Accept that he is now an independent person and has the right to choose both the list of dishes and the size of the serving. Believe me, he will definitely not die of hunger.

Implicit reasons for whims

Children are born with different types of nervous systems. More "strong" babies are resistant to stimuli, do not cry over every trifle. A child with an unstable nervous system is vulnerable, his reaction to troubles and difficulties is too emotional.

In such children, minor pain causes hysteria, a lump in the porridge leads to vomiting, and an excess of impressions during the day deprives you of sleep. Whims and tears are a constant companion of three- and four-year-old melancholic people. Parents should prevent the appearance of tantrums, and in case of prolonged stressful conditions, you should seek the advice of a neurologist or psychologist.

What to do?

If a child is constantly naughty at 3-4 years old, analyze all of the above reasons and try to eliminate them. Try to prevent stressful situations from arising.

If you still start whining, try switch the baby's interest to something else.

“Look what huge tears are pouring from your eyes. Let's put them in a jar. ", Says one inventive mom.

Offer your baby some new subject or interesting activity: take a look together cartoon or read your favorite book... Communication will help him feel your love and relieve him of non-constructive ways of attracting parental attention.

Any mother raising a child has gone through different life situations that cause difficulties, but almost every parent will confirm that a two-year-old baby is almost the most difficult. As a rule, it is during this period that even the most positive and cheerful baby suddenly becomes a real little tyrant who haunts mom and dad with constant screams and gratuitous whims.

Childhood hysteria is considered a rather difficult phenomenon, since it is not possible to find a universal recipe that will help to cope with the whims of a child. Parents begin to lose patience, lose their temper, and family life turns from an idyll into a real nightmare. The outbreak of a child's hysteria can last for hours, and, moreover, for no apparent reason. At this moment, it is impossible to agree on anything with the baby, but you still need to reassure him.

Based on an emotional background, the issue of tantrum in 2-year-olds has been a concern of child psychologists for quite some time. Often, an attack is accompanied by aggression and other manifestations:

• unreasonable irritation;
• despair;
• anger;
• crying loudly;
• hysterical screams.

In addition, in the process of hysterics, the child ceases to control the motor skills of his body, as a result of which the parents are faced with the so-called "hysterical bridge", when the child strongly bends back during a cry.

One of the most terrible manifestations of hysteria is the desire of the crumbs to bang their heads on hard objects. At this time, the child does not feel pain at all, which is very dangerous, because in oblivion the baby can damage himself something and not notice it.

Some parents mistake childish tantrums for routine disobedience. There are indeed similarities, because the child begins to defiantly lie on the floor, pounding with his feet and hands of the people around him, throwing things and breaking everything that comes under his arm. The kid becomes very capricious, refuses food for no reason and makes demands that seem unrealizable. If such situations occur often, then parents should show concern and take their beloved child to a neurologist for consultation.

What parents complain about

More often than not, parents experience complete helplessness in trying to cope with their own child. The mother feels that she does not understand her child at all, because the usual actions cause only irritation in the baby.

Very often, parents of two-year-old children notice that it is at this age that the crumbs have problems with sleep. During the daytime, the child refuses to sleep, and in the evening it requires attention. At the same time, it becomes very difficult to accustom him to some kind of action: to clean up toys after himself, listen to lullabies or fairy tales. The little one responds with crying and screaming.

If earlier the baby could be distracted by some other activity, now an attempt to transfer attention to something else causes a prolonged hysteria. Some parents try to even lightly spank the child as a punishment, but the child often just laughs back, terrifying mom and dad.

It is quite logical that with the frequent whims of the baby, parents begin to think about the methods of raising their offspring. Sooner or later, a young mother comes to the conclusion that the fault lies entirely with her, but this is a delusion. The reason for the difficult state is the processes of a natural nature: the baby begins to closely interact with the world, the process of socialization begins, which never goes easily and painlessly. The little man needs to master a new system of relations with the objects around him in the shortest possible time, to understand and accept them as they are.

It is expected that a child in such a situation strives for a certain amount of independence and tries to cope with the simplest things without the help of his parents. When the baby feels that mom and dad are beginning to infringe on his forming personality, he begins to fight with the help of tantrums and screams.

Other reasons also include:

• excessive stress, which ultimately takes the form of hysteria;
• a large amount of unspent energy;
• unmet needs (when parents refuse to buy a new toy, chocolate bar or say their resolute “no” for other reasons);
• lack of attention, jealousy of other children;
• mastering speech - often the kid wants to formulate and designate some of his desire, but simply cannot, since he has not yet developed speech skills.

Not the best ways to deal with child tantrums

According to experts, through howling and crying, a child can also try to feel the boundaries of what is permissible. If the baby gets used to the fact that with the help of a cry he can get anything, then the vector of his behavior in the future is distorted, which leads to psychological difficulties. Without boundaries, the baby ceases to feel his safety, so it is very important to refuse the child. But this must be done correctly.

Many parents choose the safest and easiest way, yielding to the child in all his whims. However, it is very important to prohibit any action. It is equally essential to be consistent and stick to this prohibition further. Once succumbing, you show the baby a chance to lead you, even if the motive was such bright feelings as a feeling of pity or tenderness for the child.

A stressful situation involves another simple way - to distract the child's attention. However, over time, parents notice that the effectiveness of this method is significantly reduced and at some point it no longer helps. According to psychologists, it is not worth distracting a kid who is in hysterics for the reason that it only postpones the problem, but does not eliminate its source.

The first thing parents need to do is try to calm down. The worst thing to do in such a situation is to start screaming and pushing the child. The kid is very sensitive to the parental voice, so you should be as calm and convincing as possible. Do not try to indulge in lengthy arguments and try to reach out to the conscience of the crumbs. Do not forget that you are dealing with a child.

It is necessary to clearly and clearly explain to the baby, for whatever reason, his requirements will not be met. If the child is not ready to end the tantrum, leave him alone for a while. This method often works better than any persuasion. After that, the baby himself most often shows interest in his parents. Then mom and dad should be as gentle and friendly as possible.

At the age of two, the baby develops an interest in his peers. The baby begins to wonder how his peers spend their time, what games they prefer, what line of behavior they choose. That is why it is very important to place the child in an environment where it will be comfortable for him to observe the children and establish communication with them. You can sign up for some group activities with your baby. This will contribute to the correct development of the baby and increase the skill of its socialization.

When to see a doctor

Normally, a two-year-old child indulges in tantrums about 2-3 times during the week. In many ways, the number of whims depends on the characteristics of the baby's temperament. In the event that the baby several times a day brings the parents with endless screams, this is already a reason to contact a specialist. Perhaps the baby is under stress and needs help. In such cases, the parents take the child to a neurologist or psychologist.

It is important to understand that crying and irritation during childhood is completely normal. Only phlegmatic children behave differently.

Video - How to deal with child hysteria

There are situations when the parents did everything that seemed possible, but the child still cries. Fatigue turns into despair, and thoughts about the infinity of this phenomenon appear.

Why is the baby naughty?

The kid grows, and his needs grow with him. Even if he recently ate and drank, he can still be tormented by thirst or hunger. Mom needs to attach the baby to the breast, if he sucks greedily, then hunger was the cause of the tears.

Why is the baby naughty? Colic can be the cause of whims. When a child presses his legs to his stomach, then sharply straightens them, strains and clenches his fists, while crying loudly - this is nothing more than colic. In order to help the baby, you need to massage his tummy. The massage is elementary: the palm is led clockwise, and then they take the baby in their arms and press him with his tummy to their chest. The baby will calm down when the gases come out and the pain stops.

The child's nervous system is not fully formed, so it cannot cope with the large flow of information. The baby is naughty before going to bed due to the fact that he received too many impressions during the day. Perhaps there were guests in the house and the child was very overexcited. In order to relieve tension before going to bed, you need to bathe the child in a warm bath. Herbal tea helps, and the calm behavior of the mother, who should not be nervous and freaked out on the baby. Mom should sing a lullaby in a gentle voice.

The baby is naughty during feeding

Children, as well as adults, and perhaps to a greater extent, are very weather-dependent. The baby is naughty during feeding due to the fact that he has a headache. If the child throws his head back strongly, it means that he is worried about intracranial pressure, which gives headaches. In order to help the baby, you need to visit a good pediatrician, who will determine the cause of crying and, if necessary, prescribe the appropriate medications.

Crying and whims can appear due to illness. If the baby does not have a fever and other signs of a cold, this does not mean that he is not sick. Perhaps this is just the first stage, which will soon grow into something more.

Baby is naughty in the evenings

Children are the flowers of life, especially when they are in someone's hands. Every parent knows that a child is not a doll, but a small person who is one hundred percent dependent on adults. Having a baby is a huge responsibility. It is necessary to make sure that he does not get sick, does not starve, does not get cold, and he has enough of everything, including attention. When the first, second, third and subsequent children appear in the family, parents realize that they no longer belong to themselves. Because everything they do is done for the sake of the children.

Why is the baby naughty in the evenings? Since newborn babies cannot declare their needs in any way other than crying, this means that any tears and whims indicate the dissatisfaction of some of the baby's needs. Hunger, cold, heat, thirst, pain, lack and overexposure of attention can cause tantrums and crying.

The baby is constantly naughty

In fact, babies are not capricious, because a whim is an unmotivated desire and whim. Baby crying is a call that should show the adult that the baby is uncomfortable, that he needs help.

The baby is constantly naughty due to the lack of warmth, dryness and comfort. A mother needs to make sure that her baby has a dry diaper. If the baby has a wet diaper, it needs to be changed, especially if it emptied not only the bladder, but also the intestines.

The child cries so that the mother knows what he wants to eat. In the first month, the baby constantly sleeps and wakes up only from what he wants to eat. In order to calm the baby down, you need to change his diaper and feed him.

Capricious, stubborn, disobedient ... Such a characteristic is given most often to children who have become difficult to cope with. But the child cannot remain the same, since his development presupposes the need for change.

The general and neuropsychological reaction of the child is formed unevenly. Periods of more or less smooth development alternate with a kind of jumps, high-quality explosions, often violent and abrupt.

The first age crisis in children occurs at about 3 years old, the second at 6-7 years old, the third at about 13 years old.

Age after two years often becomes the age of inexplicable stubbornness and negativism. This is an important moment in the development of the baby. The child begins to realize himself as a separate person, with his own desires and characteristics. At this age, the child has a new word "I do not want", it begins to occur quite often in the dictionary of your former angel. The kid often acts the other way around: you call him, and he runs away; ask to be careful, and he deliberately throws things around. The child screams, can stamp his feet, swing at you with an angry, angry face. Thus, the baby shows his activity, independence, perseverance in achieving the desired. But skills for this is still not enough. He begins to dislike something, and the child expresses his dissatisfaction.

It is rather difficult for us to imagine this, because we live with our “I” and we cannot imagine ourselves without it. But the baby, under the influence of increasing practical independence, is just beginning to realize his “I”. After all, he masters the ability to do a lot of actions without the help of an adult, learns the skills of dressing, eating, etc. Outwardly it looks like this: a child who calls himself earlier in the third person (he, she) begins to recognize himself as the first person: “Give me a typewriter ! ”.

This period usually lasts several months and proceeds differently for all children. And it is at this time that adults experience significant difficulties in communicating and interacting with a child, they are faced with negativism and stubbornness. Children are protesting against guardianship and doing what is known to be prohibited. There is no need to be angry with the child, try to force him to, answer his cry with a cry or punish. This can reinforce the motives of negative behavior in the subconscious.

Find the strength to be patient with the little screamer. It is better to try to switch him to other things, since sometimes the child himself would be glad, but he cannot calm down. For example, you should put on his favorite cassette, turn on a cartoon. If you focus the baby's attention on the conflict, this can lead to neuroses. You need to closely monitor changes in the child's behavior. If suddenly he refuses contact with others, sways monotonously or fingering his fingers for a long, long time, then you need to immediately show the baby to a neuropsychiatrist.

So, a crisis can be found in a contradiction, which can be eliminated, as they say, by the same: “Don't you dare wash your hands!”. And the child will do it with a diligence that you will envy. But a crisis can take place on the verge of a nervous illness, in the form of childish despotism - the desire to exercise power over others. The child demands that whatever he wants to be done. And if this does not happen, then the baby throws himself on the floor, kicks his legs, hits his hands, screams. This expresses his impotent anger. What to do in such situations? You will find the answer to this in the "Aggressiveness" section.

The crisis can be difficult and accompanied by restless sleep, night fears, urinary incontinence, stuttering. But more on that later.

The most important thing to remember is that aggressiveness is inherent in all children, and this is normal. In a positive sense, aggressiveness helps the child develop a spirit of initiative. But it is also capable of generating isolation and hostility. The reason for the aggressiveness is simple: the child is faced with frustration every day, and this annoys him. It will take time for the baby to learn to eliminate them and be distracted. The child often feels depressed in this huge world, and the parents, no matter how hard they try, cannot save him from this. The kid has finally reached for the door handle, but there is not enough strength to turn it and open the door. This is where the frustration and powerlessness come from, and as a result - a cry, a desperate angry protest.

Aggressiveness is a reaction of struggle, therefore, of course, it is preferable to lethargy, lethargy, whimpering, complaints. Therefore, it should not be about eliminating aggressiveness, but about controlling it. The best way to avoid overexposure is to treat your child with love. After all, often the reason for aggressiveness is the desire to achieve love. But this does not mean that you should caress, spoil the baby. Vigorously washing him, it is worthwhile to tenderly explain why this is necessary. And try to talk to the baby, behave kindly and, if possible, on an equal footing, because children themselves most often suffer from aggressiveness. The child gets angry and throws the toys because mom didn't give him the candy. Later, he is ashamed of this act, he is afraid because of this to lose the love of his parents and ... again shows aggressiveness - a vicious circle, isn't it?

To avoid this, you must remember that an affectionate word can relieve anger. And use the tips below.

If he hits a playmate, take your partner out of the room, first taking pity on him. Your baby will stay in loneliness and realizes that you can not do this. Carefully, but as if not on purpose, notice which of the children starts verbal aggression, because it is often the cause of violence. The child may start to behave aggressively towards an abusive adult, so avoid such adults as well.

Establish rules and don't change them in any way.

Become the second “I” for the baby. Remind him of the rules that you established together, and say: “Better you to me, Sasha, tell him that you want to hit the bear and you know that you cannot do this. Because fighting is not good! " Most often, after these words, the child's desire to get into a fight disappears.

When the child is doing the right thing, praise him. This reinforces positive behavior. And praise not in monosyllables: “Well done!” - but try to say what exactly he did well and why you are satisfied.

A child who is behaving aggressively should be seated in a chair for 2-5 minutes. If the children are fighting, then it is necessary to separate them in different rooms, but to say that this is not a punishment, but a time-out. It is so that the guys come to their senses and calm down. When the child has calmed down, ask if he understands that he can make a bad impression, if he wants to be praised so that he has many friends, and explain what is needed for this. Ask your child what they think is a prerequisite for having many friends. Tell him that he will be completely alone if he continues to behave this way. But do not be intimidated by the fact that you will abandon him - this can cause new aggression. Just show that you are worried about him, upset.

Explain to your child how funny their fantasies are. You can say that if everyone will serve him, then it will be uninteresting, stupid and boring, because everyone will avoid him, as he will cause inconvenience and trouble.

Most often, children are aggressive when tired or hungry. Do not go to the store when there is a long line and the baby will have to wait a long time. Also, the bus during rush hour is not a place for a hungry toddler.

An extreme case when a child is in danger of life or when it threatens someone. Hug the child, trying to hold him. This will calm him down. But do not be violent, so that the baby does not feel that he is being attacked.

Compose a fairy tale where your toddler will be the main character, creating situations where the child behaves correctly and gets praise for it. Talk about it when the baby is calm, because if he is nervous, he will not hear you.

The kid often stops being capricious not when you ask or demand it, but when you switch his attention with another request. Instead of demanding to stop yelling, ask him to come to you. The child will do this without much difficulty.

You are most likely annoyed too. Therefore, tell your baby about this so that he gives you the opportunity to recover and calm down. And then you can already talk.

And the last thing. Remember, the baby will not change one day or night. Therefore, arm yourself with patience and enjoy even the smallest victories. This will lead you to success.

First of all, it is worth noting that fears are normal, they protect the child from many dangers (jumping from a tall tree, hot water, etc.). But there are other fears, they are either invented by him (monsters under the bed, ghosts), or received during his life (fear of a dog, leaving, leaving a parent, etc.). Children have different fears at different stages of development. There are main types of fears:

1. Fear of the departure of the mother, father, can manifest itself from 2-3 years. Most often, children who are dependent on their mother or father, that is, practically do not part with them, are subject to such fear. If a child interacts with strangers from an early age, he is more independent and less susceptible to such fears. But even such a baby can be frightened and after the mother's return does not let her go. Therefore, if you need to leave for a few days and replace yourself with a nanny, let her spend 5-6 days with your child, while from time to time try to leave the baby with her alone. Start with half an hour and continue to increase your separation time. Kid gradually get used to the idea that you will always come back to it. The famous American pediatrician B. Spock believes that excessive concern only increases fear. It is also amplified by the hesitation of the mother, who begins to behave insecurely when she hears the cry of the child at parting. Don't feel guilty about leaving your baby sometimes. The main thing is to do it confidently and optimistically, trying to explain to the baby in advance that the separation is necessary and it will not be long.

2. At the age of 3-4 years, the child begins to be afraid of the dark, death, cars, etc. At this time, the imagination develops so much that he is able to imagine himself in the place of other people and realize all the dangers that may threaten him. There is nothing dangerous in such fears for the child's health, but it is necessary to help him cope with all the imaginary monsters.

If your toddler is scared, be sure to listen to him seriously and without laughing. Let him make sure that you want to understand him and that nothing threatens him, as you can always protect him at night. Never frighten the child with other people's aunts, doctors, etc. Do not shame the child for minor offenses, try to strictly and consistently avoid possible minor troubles. Let his life be rich and interesting, then he will be absorbed in thoughts about the future day and forget his fear. Never frighten a child that you will stop loving him.

If your son or daughter is afraid of the dark, leave the nursery door open or turn on a night light. This is unlikely to interfere with your baby's sleep.

Also, at the age of 4-5 years, questions about death arise. Don't scare the child. Try to calmly explain to him that all people die when they get old. But you are not afraid of this and consider it commonplace. Do not forget to hug the child and say that you will not leave him for many, many years.

At this age, children are often afraid of animals, even if they have encountered them before. Do not insist, the child will cope with this fear on his own in a few months or days. The same applies to water. Never push your child into water, but show by example that water is a great pleasure. Any fear is conquered by action. A person sitting with folded hands will not be able to drown out fear. Therefore, running and other outdoor games sometimes help.

Yet some tips how to overcome fear.

Use your child's imagination. If he has invented fear for himself, he can do the opposite. Calm down your baby. Tell him that if he is careful, nothing bad will happen.

Call a plush toy for help. A hare that can protect against imaginary monsters is a good helper in the fight against fears.

Tell a compelling victory story before bed. For example, about "how the little mouse managed ...".

Monitor what your child is watching on TV. Try to prevent him from seeing scenes of violence or intimidation.

Collect the facts. If the baby, for example, is afraid of lightning, tell him in an accessible and interesting way about the nature of this phenomenon. This will help eliminate the fear.

Make a plan. That is, if your child is afraid of dogs, make a plan with him how you will get to know the neighbor Bobik. And praise the child for the fact that the child clearly follows the intended plan.

Society perceives children's whims quite tolerantly - he is small, grows up - he will understand! There is a grain of wisdom in this, since the nervous system of babies really undergoes significant changes in the first years of life, with whims the baby can “signal” to others his fatigue, tension, discontent, disagreement with something, his poor physical condition if he is sick.

However, an overly capricious child can undermine the nervous system not only to parents and others, but also to himself.

The well-known children's doctor Yevgeny Komarovsky tells what to do if the child is capricious, and whether his behavior can be corrected.

Where do whims come from?

If a child often freaks out and is capricious, there may be several reasons for this:

• He does not feel well, is unwell.
• He is overworked, under stress (especially if the whims are repeated in the evening).
• He is poorly brought up, he throws tantrums because he is used to getting what he wants in this way.

Dr. Komarovsky believes that any excessive manifestation of moodiness is directed primarily at the parents. If the kid has spectators on whom his hysteria acts, he will use this "weapon" every time he needs something or something stops suit him .

Reasonable actions of parents in this case should be to ignore - a baby who was denied the opportunity to crawl into a hot oven with his hands or dip a cat into the toilet bowl can scream and be indignant as much as he wants, mom and dad should be adamant.

It is advisable that all family members, including grandparents, adhere to this tactic. Komarovsky emphasizes that children become tyrants and manipulators almost immediately after they understand that with the help of hysteria they can achieve what is forbidden to them.

Age whims and tantrums

In his development, the child goes through several stages of psychological maturation. The transition from one stage to the next is accompanied by the so-called age crisis. This is a difficult time both for the baby himself and for his parents, since not all, but most children, age crises are accompanied by increased moodiness and even hysteria.

2-3 years

At this age, the baby begins to realize himself as a separate person. A period of denial begins, the baby seeks to do the opposite, is stubborn and capricious at times for any reason. He kind of tries those around him for strength, tests the boundaries of what is permitted. That is why a capricious child at 2 or 3 years old is not at all uncommon. Many children's whims at this age could have been avoided if children in their 2-3 years old knew how to express emotions well in words. But the limited vocabulary of such a child, as well as the inability and misunderstanding of the principles of describing his feelings in words, lead to just such an inadequate reaction.

6-7 years old

At this age, children usually go to school. A change in the team, a new daily routine that differs from the kindergarten, and, most importantly, new requirements from the parents, often depress the child so much that he begins to be capricious and hysterical in protest. The most pronounced are tantrums in those children who began to practice whims as early as 2-3 years old, and the parents were not able to normalize the child's behavior in a timely manner.

Whims in infants

In infants, whims usually have good reasons. The baby does not take the breast, is nervous and cries in the first months of his independent life, not from harm, but from unmet needs or physical discomfort.

To begin with, Komarovsky advises to make sure that the child has the right conditions for healthy growth - it is not hot or stuffy in his room.

Often the baby can be capricious from lack of sleep, or vice versa - from excessive sleep, from overeating, if the parents force the baby to force not when he asks to eat, but when, in their opinion, it is time for lunch. Overeating increases the frequency and intensity of intestinal colic, which cause a lot of unpleasant physical sensations. As a result, the baby is naughty.

Quite often, whims accompany the period of teething., but such attacks of crying and whining are temporary, as soon as the child's condition returns to normal, everything will change, including behavior.

When to see a doctor

Most often, parents take their capricious, disobedient and hysterical child to see a pediatrician with this problem at the age of 4. Until this age, they justify children's "concerts" by age-related crises of an early age, individual behavior patterns, the temperament of the child and other reasons. However, according to Komarovsky, at the age of 4-5 it is already quite difficult to solve a neglected pedagogical problem, which undoubtedly has a place to be.

Certain features of the child's behavior during the active phase of hysteria should alert parents.

If the baby makes a "hysterical bridge", in which he arches his back in an arc and extremely strains all the muscles, if he has breath holdings with loss of consciousness, for her own reassurance, it is better for the mother to show the child to a child neurologist and visit a child psychologist.

In general, the physical manifestations of hysteria in a child can be different, up to seizures, clouding of consciousness, short-term impairment of speech functions. In some cases, such reactions may indicate not only the child's susceptibility, his temperament, but also of certain diseases of a neurological and psychiatric nature. If in doubt, go to a specialist doctor. If, apart from holding the breath, nothing else happens with Ore, Komarovsky advises simply to fight this - you should blow in the face of the hysterical person, he reflexively stops yelling and takes a deep breath, breathing is normalized.

Do not make excessive demands on the child. His inner feeling that he will not cope with your expectations, resistance to requirements, which he cannot yet fulfill due to his age, cause a response, manifested precisely by hysteria and childish whims.

Follow the daily routine, make sure that the child gets enough rest, does not overwork, does not spend too much time at the computer or in front of the TV. If a child has a tendency to heightened moodiness, the best leisure for him is active games in the fresh air.

Teach your child to articulate their emotions and feelings. To do this, from an early age, you should show the child how to do this and regularly practice simple exercises. “I am offended because I cannot draw an elephant”, “When a thunderstorm is coming, I’m very scared”, “When I’m afraid, I want to hide” and so on. By the age of three or four, this will help form in the child the habit of speaking in words about what he needs, what does not suit him, and not throw tantrums with screams and screams.

If they steadfastly can withstand the first stage, when it is necessary to ignore the hysteria, without showing that it at least somehow touches the adults, then soon there will be silence and harmony in the house, the child will rather quickly at the reflex level remember that hysteria is not an option and a way, which means that there is not the slightest sense in it.

Work out the system of prohibitions and make sure that what is not allowed is always impossible. Any exceptions to the rules are another reason for subsequent hysteria.

If a child is prone to violent tantrums, with banging his head on the floor and walls, it is necessary to protect him from possible injuries. If we are talking about a child 1-2 years old, Komarovsky advises to limit the hysteria outside the arena. If an attack has begun, you should put the child in the playpen and leave the room for a while. The absence of spectators will make the hysterics short-lived, and the child will not physically be able to harm himself in the arena.

It is most difficult to deal with tantrums in a child over 3 years old. He no longer just demands something, but shows character, and here it will be necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of family relationships. Often such children simply copy the behavior of adults, their reactions to different situations. If the parents manage to find the "root of evil" in themselves and eliminate it, then the baby will quickly forget about such a way to get what he wants, like hysteria and whims.

If a child has a tendency to be capricious and throw tantrums for no particular reason, it is better to send him to kindergarten as soon as possible, says Evgeny Komarovsky. In a large children's team there is not a single grateful spectator in front of whom one could throw a tantrum, and the whims of one child do not bother the others. This will help to quickly teach the child to live without tantrums.

Take a closer look and look for signs of an incipient tantrum. Some children sulk for a long time before this, others start to fuss, move quickly. Harbingers will help parents react quickly and distract the child, switch his attention to something else. This method works well for children under 4-5 years old. With older guys, you will have to invent something different.

In the program below, Dr. Komarovsky will tell you how to wean a child from hysterics.