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You can't forget your ex. Ways to forget the girl you love. You remained the same for her

Falling in love depends on the chemical processes in the body. When we break up, we feel a lack of happiness due to a deficiency of certain chemicals. Instead of suffering from the loss of a girlfriend who left you and went to another, it is much better to restore the body and make up for the lack of “joy hormones”. To do this, there are a number of effective methods.

What is love? What happens to us after a breakup?

Love directly related to body chemistry. When a person falls in love, his body releases “love hormones” in large quantities - endorphin, oxytocin, vasopressin, phenylethylamine and seratonin. These are chemical compounds that produce an analgesic effect, strengthen the immune system and, most importantly, give the feeling of happiness and joy that we feel like love.

When parting with a loved one, a reverse chemical process occurs. The level of serotonin decreases - depression and apathy occur. Endorphin, which previously reduced any pain sensations, is also not enough and there is an acute mental pain - the pain of parting.

Gradually, after a while body will return to normal. Remembering our attachments of ten years ago, we only smile. The same will happen with current attachments after a while. Over time, new sources of joy will appear.

As the saying goes, "Time is the best medicine."

To speed up recovery after a failed relationship, you need to follow the following tips.

Forgetting your beloved - a few simple rules

There is not a single person who is unfamiliar with the pain of parting. But some people are deeply immersed in this state, while others easily and quickly come out of it. Fortunately, the recovery process can be accelerated.

Get rid of all things that remind of her

In the brain, the images of things and people are interconnected. Therefore, all items that remind you of an ex-girlfriend must be collected in a box or bag, and put away out of sight. So you will not once again return to the thoughts of the woman you want to forget.

Cease all contact

If you have made a firm decision to free yourself from your attachment, you need to cut off all contacts:

  • Delete ex girlfriend from friends on social networks. Her news, avatar in the list of friends, photos and other materials - all this will not constantly remind you of her. Until the attitude becomes neutral, any reminder will be harmful.
  • Delete her phone number

Most girls, realizing that they want to forget them, start remind yourself more. Even if she does not need a guy, the girl is unpleasant that she will be forgotten. There is a possibility that she will write and call herself, warming up your feelings. But this must be decisively stopped.

Do not allow to manipulate you and do not answer SMS and calls.

Get yourself some physical activity

Exercising stimulates the release of endorphins and relieves stress. The following sports are especially useful and accessible: running, swimming, tennis, cycling.

During a workout, you suddenly feel better - this means that there has been a release of endorphins in the body. Your loss will not seem so significant to you, you will be easier to relate to it. Memories will no longer be so painful.

Trips, travel

New impressions are another great way to get positive emotions and “switch”. Your brain will be busy processing new information, and the significance of the ex-girlfriend will decrease.

It is best to visit a place that you have long wanted to visit, go on a short trip in a pleasant company.

Chat with friends

The joy of being with light and positive friends can also distract from negative experiences. In addition, people who are “outside” your problem will help you look at it from a different perspective.

Left alone, people tend to go too deep into emotional states, losing touch with reality. Communication with friends and relatives will return a sober look at things.

new hobby

Find a new hobby, passion - so you will occupy your thoughts with something new. Think about what activities inspire you, give you peace. Absorbed doing what you love can distract from obsessive thoughts about an ex-girlfriend.

In addition, the pleasure of exercising will lead to the production of serotonin and mood will improve.

Communication and sex with other girls

There are no perfect people in the world. Communicate with other attractive girls, find their positive and negative sides. Perhaps one of them will please you even more than the former. Then you will understand that you yourself have created the image of your beloved from an ordinary girl, of which there are millions in the world.

Have sex with someone else. Sex is a powerful source of pleasure.

Sometimes, after a long relationship, it's hard to force yourself to meet another girl. There are fears and shyness. You can read about how to overcome this in. The easiest way.

In addition, it is useful to develop in yourself.

But perhaps not all is lost. If the reason for the breakup is not so significant, you can try to return the woman. You can read more about this.

Often, in order to return a girl, you need to make her jealous.

Listen to your favorite music

It has long been noticed that music has a positive effect, is able to give positive emotions up to euphoria, a feeling of lightness and soaring. The pleasure of music reduces pain, this property is used even in medicine.

However, when choosing music for your playlist, it is important to exclude the one that reminds you of your ex-girlfriend and all the sad melodies.

Walking outdoors and in sunny weather

Sunlight is known to have a positive effect on mood. This is due to the production of vitamin D from sun exposure, the lack of which causes depression. Fresh air and the sun will have a beneficial effect on the body and will contribute to its recovery.

While walking, admire nature, trees, enjoy the movement and try not to think about anything. This will greatly improve your mood.

Relax more often: yoga, meditation, massage

Experiences, longing have a detrimental effect on the body. Body practices will help to cope with this problem.

It is best to contact a specialist who will advise a set of exercises suitable for you. A yoga teacher can help you recover by examining your condition.

The same state of lightness comes after visiting a massage.

Having received the desired state of freedom from negative states, gain a foothold in it. While at rest, plan your classes for the near future, occupy yourself with pleasant and useful things. Soon parting with a girl will seem to you an insignificant episode in your life.

Change of residence - a radical option for advanced cases

You broke up with a girl whom you loved very much, and your condition is critical, you need to change your place of residence for a while. Living elsewhere and gathering your thoughts is a great idea. The main thing is to choose a place where nothing will remind you of a girl, where you will have space for a new life and reasons for new joy.

Diet

Correct nutrition will help to fill the lack of endorphins and serotonin.

The production of endorphins can be accelerated by eating the following foods:

  • chocolate
  • Strawberry
  • bananas
  • freshly squeezed orange juice
  • hot peppers
  • grape

In order to increase the content of serotonin, you need to use:

  • tomatoes
  • pineapples
  • walnuts
  • plums

The right diet, combined with other psychological recovery methods, can produce effective results.

The main thing to remember is that emotions depend on us. You don't have to let your life drift. Engage in conscious recovery of the body. You will feel independence and joy. Life is too short to waste it longing for a girl.

Question to the psychologist:

Hello! I am 25, she is 4 years younger than me. I dated my girlfriend for a year, it was a year of wonderful relationships. In fact, this is the first serious and such a long relationship between me and her. During this year I became so attached and fell in love with her that I don’t need anyone but her. But all good things come to an end sooner or later. I don't know how it all started, but at some point I began to notice a chill in her eyes .. I didn't want to admit it, but he appeared. Seeing this, I tried harder and harder to make her happy, to give gifts and flowers for no reason, but it was a fleeting happiness for a couple of days, and then some reason appeared, because of which we quarreled with her. Sometimes I was the reason, because I demanded more attention to myself, and sometimes she, when she did not act nicely with me. It was not treason or betrayal, it was just some banal things that would seem funny to many people, but because of them, we had a conflict with her. And at one point, during a conflict, she began to offer me to disperse, which I was very angry about, because I love her, and she tells me this. Soon our quarrels became more frequent, I myself did not notice this, as we began to quarrel almost every three days, I don’t know what it was connected with, but it was a terrible month, which probably became the last point .. One fine day, during another quarrel, she said that we were breaking up, and this time 100%, she doesn’t need anything and she doesn’t want any relationship ... After these words, something jumped in me, I felt that I could lose her, and rushed to do everything to save our relationship with her. Instead of giving her a rest, I pulled her into a conversation, as a result of which she became worse and worse. It was very painful for me to see the feigned indifference to me in her eyes, but I understood that she had already decided everything. This went on for about two weeks, and when I could no longer see her tears through which she said that she did not feel anything for me, I decided to settle down and get behind her .. She believes that we did not have an understanding with her and we are different people . I believe that understanding can be achieved only by talking and understanding. But in fact, she didn’t care for a long time, and she was looking for a reason to disperse .. Because at that time a year of military service shone for me, she had studies and work, and there was no time for me at all. From the moment we stopped communicating with her, I never wrote or called her, she didn’t call me either .. I went abroad for a month, to work and at the same time take a break from all this. It helped me a little, but when I returned, and about a week later I met her on the street, my heart almost burst out of my chest .., and I realized that time does not heal anything. And then we saw each other a couple of times, it was the same thing, but they didn’t say anything other than “hello, hello”. Why am I writing to you ... Because I still Love her, after 3 months my feelings for her have not faded away, and the attitude has not become worse, although I do not show it. I want to talk to her so much, find out how she is doing or just silently hug her that it drives me crazy. I don't know what to do and how long it will last.. That's probably true love and devotion. With other girls who show attention to me, I am cold, because I know that as long as I love my ex, nothing will work out with others. I can't treat someone as well, let alone better than I did her. I probably have hope, but after such a long time it’s stupid to hope for something, I understand this, but still .. Now it’s enough for me to see at least a little reciprocity on her part, some step that will show that she’s not all equally, she feels the same as I do, and then I would probably be the happiest person. Since that moment I have changed a lot, I had a lot of time to think about everything. I know it's pointless to start anything if at least one of us hasn't changed. I really want to return everything, but I’m powerless here, because I don’t know if she needs it, and if she wants it ... Well, I just need to see or find out that she is just as bored, but, probably, since she she doesn’t contact me, it means she doesn’t care for a long time, or maybe she thinks about me the same way .. Now she has a birthday soon, and I don’t know whether to congratulate her and what to write, although I really want to, but I don’t know whether this is correct. Friends say no need after all this. But I love her, and it's very hard for me to sit waiting, hoping for something.

The psychologist Bashtynskaya Svetlana Viktorovna answers the question.

Aaron, hello!

You are going through a difficult phase in your life. You loved your girlfriend and still do. Parting with her brought you a lot of pain and sadness.

Breaking up a relationship is a lot of stress, sometimes compared to experiencing the death of a loved one. You feel powerless to change anything, and after parting, it is important to allow yourself to grieve, to express your negative feelings, your pain, sadness, hopelessness, fear, and even anger. Now you feel that you need to leave the past and start a new life.

I want to say that this relationship has given you a lot. This is an experience, you have become stronger, you have learned something new about yourself. You know what you want and what kind of relationship. You analyze and think a lot about what happened, and this is a step towards something new, towards change.

You noticed that you were very immersed in this relationship, that you did not give space to your girlfriend, you wanted to give her more, do the best you can, make her happy. Perhaps your concern has become suffocating.

And you managed to stop - it's very strong and bold. You let her decide, you accepted her answer despite your pain. You were able to see your excessive perseverance and its responsibility. After all, as you write, if one partner does not want to continue communication, if he does not change, then the relationship is doomed.

Your communication with other girls is as long as you are ready for it. After all, you have not yet experienced a breakup, and it's great that you allow yourself to be in this, and do not strive for a new union. After all, in order to build something new, you need to deal with the old, let the wounds heal. And at the same time, it is important to take care of yourself, at this time you can and should devote more time to yourself. Do what you want, diversify your life, and you did it intuitively (left to study). When you returned, you again ran into an ex-girlfriend and this caused a new wave of experiences. And that's what usually happens. When we part with someone or lose someone, our grief and experiences take on the likeness of waves. At first we are overwhelmed by feelings, then it seems to become easier, then the next “wave” rolls over, and gradually these waves become a little less, a little less intense, and the time will come when they will stop knocking you down.

Now you are torn apart by the understanding that the relationship is over and the hope that maybe at least something is left. Remember that if she wanted to return the relationship, she could always tell you about it (you gave her a lot of opportunities before breaking up), and now too. Do not try to think for the girl, because our fantasies are often similar to our desires, and not to reality. Your hope is what pulls you into the past, keeps you from moving on. It is important for you to focus on yourself - you did everything you could, you were ready to discuss and maintain relationships. But the girl needs something else, and this is her choice and decision. To pass this stage requires a lot of energy - internal and external. Don't rush yourself, give yourself time. You can communicate with a friend (or friends), you can turn to a psychologist who will not only support you in difficult experiences, accept them, but also help you see your ways of building relationships, learn how to act differently. I wish you strength and success. And if you need support and need to speak out, then you can write here or email me

Good afternoon.

A year ago, we broke up with our beloved girl (from another city), she was the initiator of the breakup. From time to time they visited each other, I know, perhaps an inferior relationship, but .. There was love, and very strong. When they parted, it was painful and insulting, of course.

But I immediately, as expected, stopped communicating with her so as not to torment the souls - I think it was quite the right step.

After that, I went very far in general, there I met another girl with whom I had previously communicated. I really liked her, but of course there was no such thing as with the former ...

Well, that is, I, one might say, took out a lot on my own anger.

This new girl has been with me for a year now, we have gone through a lot together. I came to my house more than once, once I even thought for a long time, but she said that we would have a child. After 2 weeks - a photograph, after a few weeks - the stomach.

Naturally, I am against abortion, I adopted the child (I am more than sure of paternity). Now we need to move there, to a million-plus city. I don’t have a job (I don’t want to look, I can easily earn money on the Internet - it’s enough for my city), there is no adequate housing there (except for a communal apartment with terrible neighbors), and ..

The most important.

It's not THIS that's bothering me.
And the fact that I can not forget the ex-girlfriend.
I dream at night. Sex with her. Meeting her, goodbye. Smile. I remember everything, down to the most subtle smell.

Even the sex with the new girl faded away, because the memories torment me more and more every day. A friend, an esoteric, conducting sessions, said that she also could not forget me (I was her first man, well, in general, these were not just meetings-with-sex, like millions of people, there was something special, some spiritual unity, or something).

Now I feel this life is grey. The work is going on, but very sluggishly, I am not interested in anything, I have lost interest in the world, life, art, I listen to the same songs in a circle. I smile with strength. I don’t show my mood, my feelings to my new chosen one, so as not to injure her, so that she doesn’t think that she is worse.

She is BETTER. Much. In everything. Loves me more. But even sex... In this case, I am a log. It just doesn't "rush" and that's it.

And that .. I love you, stupid, sick with love. Nothing is erased from the heart. If suddenly by chance I meet her photo on the network, everything flares up with renewed vigor.

Naturally, everyone guesses everything. They understand how hard it is for me.

It is unlikely that you will be able to return the old love.
And with the new one, it is unlikely that something will turn out better.
And I don’t feel like looking for a completely new one, and besides, I have a responsibility for a new little man - I need to alleviate his suffering in this world to the maximum.

What to do, how to be? What mantras to read in this case? :-) funny, but I have long been ready for a lot .. Although, on the other hand, there is nothing else in me, except for this stupid and sick love-pain.

Breakups are inevitable, just as the pain they cause is inevitable. It is not easy to cope with it, many people cannot master themselves for a long time, having survived a breakup.

This article will discuss what a young man should do if a girl left him, and he feels that his soul is yearning for her, that he only needs her. But at the same time comes the understanding that the beloved cannot be returned. And the only important question for him remains: a girl?

Men experience separation no less painfully than women, but it is easier for the weaker sex to cope with their pain. Girls can openly show their feelings - cry, complain, and others will empathize with them.

Men, on the other hand, are often forced to keep everything inside, preventing grief from spilling out.

Let's remember how boys are brought up: “Don't cry, a real man shouldn't cry! Do not complain! You're a man!" - this is only a small part of the usual instructions that accompany education. Whether this is good or bad is hard to say. Nevertheless, one has to live with these attitudes and learn to manage oneself. In the matter of overcoming the suffering of unrequited love, male and female paths do not coincide.

When a young man in desperation asks again and again the question of how to forget his girlfriend, you can advise him not to “press” his emotions, especially with the help of alcohol. Excessive restraint will only prolong the experience, and make life unbearable. Also, you do not need to throw out emotions on the person who caused this pain. This will not help you in any way, but you can ruin the life of yourself and your ex-lover.

Psychology considers questions about it in great detail, since they are eternal and common to all people.

Psychologists classify parting with loved ones as a very serious stress, comparable to a breakup in terms of the degree of impact on the body and psyche, many people feel abandoned, unnecessary and powerless to change anything. This pain becomes more acute if the separation was associated with betrayal. And a period is inevitable when you need to allow yourself to grieve, so that negative emotions find a way out, and the stressful state is gone.

Here are some tips to help get rid of relentless thoughts about the object of love and start a new life.

  1. There is no need to be ashamed of your feelings, but you should not indulge them either. Accept that a new stage has begun in your life, and now is not the time to become sour.
  2. No matter how difficult it is, you need to find the strength in yourself to recognize that your loved one has every right to live in her own way. If she decides to leave, you must accept it.
  3. Experiencing crisis stages in life, we become more mature and gain new experience. Try to understand what experience you got.
  4. While tormented in search of an answer to the question of how to forget your girlfriend, you should not forget about yourself. Think about the fact that now you have the opportunity to start another relationship, building it the way you always dreamed of.
  5. It is advisable at first to break off all contacts with a former lover. No need to stalk her or constantly call her. This will not add dignity to you in her eyes, rather, she will no longer respect you.
  6. Try not to lose respect for yourself in such a situation. Letting go of your loved one will be the most worthy deed.
  7. Do important things, try to communicate with people as much as possible.
  8. To overcome apathy, drawing up a detailed plan of affairs for the day is very helpful. Hang it on the wall and follow it religiously.

Psychology gives many answers to the question of how to forget your girlfriend. It is important to understand what is right for you. One way or another, time heals any emotional wounds, and gradually you will begin to feel gratitude for the person with whom you spent unforgettable minutes and gained important experience of close communication.

Name: gosha

Straight to the point: December 24th. Last year, I broke up with my girlfriend. I left her, for that there were my own, weighty, reasons. We often quarreled with her, but soon we put up and everything was fine. But not this time... I just didn't try to get her back... But, alas, all my attempts to do it, crashed against the wall of her selfishness. In early January, I started dating another guy. Somewhere until February, we did not communicate with her. Then somehow it happened, and we first began to correspond, then called up, then met. Met with her, talked, so nothing special. But it so happened that they kissed her. After that, she began to tell, saying what a fool she is, that she lost me, that her current boyfriend is completely worthless, not useless, not an interesting and boring person. I invited her to return, to which she remained silent, and left the answer and the topic as a whole.

After that, we either stopped talking for a while, then resumed communication again. This continued until April. In April, she wrote me an sms “You were the best.” After that, we again began to communicate very warmly and nicely, in the same way, in fact, as once, when we met. A couple of weeks later we met, and just unforgettably spent half a day together. She told me a lot about how she would like to be together, how she misses me, how she misses me. How stupid she is, and all in a circle. Again, offered to return, she again left this topic of conversation. She told that she was afraid of her MCH. For he can hit and yell, for any reason. To which, I said so stupidly, with irony, “You yourself understood what you were changing for something.” She agreed to this.
By the way, I didn’t forbid her anything, I never raised my hand, and in fact, I didn’t even yell at her. After quarrels, he was always the first to apologize.
After that day, we again began to communicate, I began to infuriate that she specifically could not decide on herself. That is, either she finally puts an end to her relationship with me, thereby reassuring me. After all, I will know that everything is for sure! And I'll start living on a new one. Either she breaks up with her boyfriend and returns to me, since she is so bad without me. By the way, without her, too, it’s terribly bad for me. The fact is that as soon as I start to forget her, she seemed to feel it, she always reminded me of herself, in any way. Starting from here, I can’t find a new girl for myself, I can’t forget her. I don't even want to look at anyone right now. The irresistible desire to return it does not leave me alone. They loved each other, I know for sure. But what happened, I don't know...

So, let me get back to the story. It turns out that everything remains in its place, not moving from a standstill, not forward, not back, for almost 5 months now. By the way, on May 18, we could have had a year with her. And she often reminds me of this to the will.
Here I don't know what to do. I am completely confused about what to do, then all the ideas and attempts have not justified my expectations for a long time.

Maybe someone can help. What to do? What to say to her? And how do you act?
Of course, in priority, tips on how to get her back ... Well, after that, everything else ...
In fact, I still love her, I still want to be together, there is still a small hope for this ...