Why a month old baby refuses to breastfeed. Breast rejection. Strict feeding of the child

09.05.2019

Why is this happening and how can the situation be corrected?

Such a problem can occur immediately after the birth of a baby, when the baby does not take the breast initially or sucks it sluggishly, for a short time, or this happens some time after the successful start of breastfeeding. In this case, breast rejection can manifest itself in different ways:

the child begins to suck at the breast, then becomes restless, throws up the breast and cries, then starts sucking again, throws up again, etc.;
the baby eats well only from one breast, and completely refuses from the other;
the baby does not breastfeed at all.

In any case, this behavior of the baby should not be considered as a reason to stop breastfeeding. Mom needs to figure out why the child refuses to breastfeed, and make every effort to maintain and restore lactation. The reasons for such a boycott may be different. Let's take a look at the main ones.

Baby won't breastfeed: Should I use a feeding bottle?

The most common reason for not breastfeeding is the use of a bottle when supplementing with expressed milk or formula.

No nipple is able to repeat the shape of the female nipple. In this regard, the sucking of the breast, pacifier and nipples on the bottle is not the same. When sucking the nipple, the muscles of the cheeks actively work, while sucking the breast, the muscles of the tongue. A child who is used to sucking on a pacifier begins to latch onto the breast in the same way. He has a so-called confusion of the nipples. The baby cannot properly attach to the breast, begins to worry and cry. In addition, when sucking a bottle, the baby makes a minimum of effort and no longer wants to work while feeding from her mother's breast.

What to do?

do not give your baby pacifiers and feeding bottles;
with every concern of the baby, offer him a breast;
if the child needs supplementary feeding (and this should be determined by the pediatrician) or if the mother has to leave home for a short time, it is recommended to give expressed milk or milk formula to the baby from a spoon, cup or syringe (without a needle).

Baby not breastfeeding immediately after birth

Most often, this problem occurs in weakened children with an unfavorable course of pregnancy and difficult childbirth. So, for example, prematurity, oxygen starvation in childbirth, damage to the nervous system, birth trauma lead to the fact that due to the slow maturation of the centers in the brain, the sucking reflex is not expressed in the child by the time of birth. If there is a sucking reflex, but the baby is very weak after childbirth, he sucks little and sluggishly, quickly gets tired, gives up his breast and falls asleep.

What to do?

seek advice from a neonatologist, pediatrician or neurologist;
every feeding to offer the baby a breast;
if the baby does not breastfeed, be sure to express (every 3 hours) so that the body receives a signal about the need to produce enough milk;
supplement the baby with expressed breast milk from a spoon, pipette or syringe (without a needle);
weakened babies are recommended to be breastfed every 1.5–2 hours.

Baby won't latch on: tight breasts

Tight breasts in a nursing mother is a condition associated with delayed milk release, that is, milk does not immediately come out of the glands when the baby takes the breast. The production of milk in this case occurs normally, but it is separated with difficulty. This situation can occur if the breast is full of milk. At the same time, the mammary gland and the areola area become too dense, which does not allow the child to properly grab it and start sucking. He tries to do it, he fails, he throws his chest and starts to cry.

This situation can also occur with poor drainage (emptying) of the entire breast or part of it, which occurs due to the individual structural features of the mammary gland in a nursing mother (for example, if a woman has mastopathy and initially there were fibrous seals in the breast).

What to do?

immediately before feeding express a small amount of milk, then the breast will become softer and the milk will be released more easily;
take a warm shower and massage the mammary glands with light circular movements clockwise;
feed the baby in a hanging position: the baby lies on the bed, the mother leans over him and, leaning on her hands, gives a hanging breast. In this case, the milk flows under the influence of gravity, and the baby will be able to suck it out in sufficient quantity;
use different postures during feeding for uniform and complete emptying of the breast.

Baby won't latch on: flat or inverted nipples

If a nursing mother has flat or inverted nipples, it can be difficult for a baby to adjust to breastfeeding. It is important to remember here that with the correct grip, the child should not capture the nipple, but the entire areola. Therefore, when breastfeeding, it is not the shape of the nipples that is important, but the ability of the areola and breast tissue to stretch when sucking.

What to do?

try to teach the child to properly grasp the breast when sucking (not only the nipple, but also the areola) and persistently put the breast into the baby’s mouth, make sure that he captures the entire areola;
use special nipple shapers;
use special silicone pads on the nipple for feeding. Silicone pads are similar in shape to the nipple and areola, with holes in the nipple cavity through which the baby sucks milk. With the first sucking movements of the baby, the nipple is pulled out in the lining and rests directly on the holes in it. The pad is selected taking into account the size of the nipple and areola.

The baby does not take the breast: not enough milk

This situation can arise if the mother really does not have enough milk (hypogalactia), the child does not eat up and abandons the breast, or if he sucks out little milk due to improper attachment to the breast and, as a result, less milk begins to be produced in the mammary glands. At the same time, he cannot effectively empty the breast, and therefore milk stagnation (lactostasis) may occur.

In both cases, most often the child gains little weight (the average monthly increase in the first 3 months of life is about 800 g) and the number of urination decreases (less than 10 times a day).

What to do?

to put the baby to the breast as often as possible (at the first sign of his anxiety and as often as he wants): the more he sucks milk, the more it is produced. The interval between feedings should be no more than 1.5–2 hours, and the duration of feeding should be at least 15–20 minutes;
be sure to feed the baby at night;
it is advisable to apply it to the breast 3-4 times a night, of which 2 feedings should fall between 3 and 7 in the morning, since it is at this time that the intensive production of the hormone prolactin occurs, which stimulates lactation;
correctly attach the baby to the breast. With the correct grip on the breast, the baby's mouth is wide open, the lower lip is turned outward, the baby captures not only the nipple, but the entire areola, the nose and chin touch the mother's breast;
express the breast after feeding;
Mom needs to drink enough liquid - 1.5-2 liters per day.

False Denial
If the baby is older than 3-4 months, after sucking the breast a little, begins to turn away and be distracted by any noise, this cannot be regarded as a refusal of the breast. Most likely, he had a period of active development and knowledge of the world around him. During this period, the baby becomes more and more interested, and he seeks not to miss the opportunity to learn something new. As a rule, such children eat often and gain weight well. You can check whether the baby has enough milk in this suckling mode by doing a wet diaper test. This test is based on counting the number of times a child urinates per day. With a sufficient amount of milk, there should be at least 10–12.

The child does not take the breast: the wrong smell

If a nursing woman uses perfumes, deodorants, shower gels with a pungent odor, this can confuse the baby. He feels a strange, unpleasant aroma for himself, does not recognize his mother and refuses to breastfeed.

What to do?

It is clear that the only thing that can be advised in such a situation is not to use products with a pungent odor, and if the mother feels that the baby does not like some kind of fragrance emanating from her, you need to wash your skin with baby soap and put on other clothes.

The child does not take the breast: the mother has a lot of milk

It would seem that it is good: there is a lot of milk, the child will not remain hungry, but even here there are difficulties. If the mother produces too much milk, it quickly flows out of the breast, the baby does not have time to swallow it and chokes. This causes fear in the crumbs, and he turns away from the breast, stopping sucking.

What to do?

express part of the milk before each feeding: the breast will not overflow and the milk will not flow so rapidly;
increase the intervals between “duty” of the breast, that is, do not change the breast at each feeding, offering one or the other in turn, but give the child the same mammary gland several times in a row. In this case, the stimulation of prolactin production (the hormone responsible for milk production) is reduced and milk production is reduced according to the needs of the baby. After all, the baby is applied to one breast less often, as a result of these actions, the free breast receives a signal that milk does not need to be produced in such a large amount, and gradually begins to reduce its secretion;
do not express your breasts after feedings.

The child does not take the breast if he is unwell ...

Refusal to breastfeed may be one of the symptoms of an incipient illness in a child. In this case, it is important for the mother to assess his condition, try to find out what worries the baby, and, if necessary, consult a doctor.

Thrush. With thrush, small white spots appear on the tongue, gums and cheeks of the baby, which look like small sores in the mouth, or they can merge and look like a white coating. Inflammation of the mucous membrane causes pain and discomfort to the baby during breastfeeding, as a result, this can lead to the baby's refusal to feed.

What to do?

consult a pediatrician who will confirm the diagnosis and prescribe treatment;
during the treatment of thrush, feed the baby with expressed breast milk from a spoon or syringe (without a needle).

Stuffed nose. Children of the first year of life have some structural features of the nasopharynx, so even a slight runny nose can cause a lot of trouble for the baby. Narrow nasal passages and swelling of the nasal mucosa, which occurs during inflammation, lead to the fact that it becomes difficult for the baby to breathe, he cries when feeding, chokes, or completely refuses to take the breast.

What to do?

clean the nose before each feeding of the baby. For children under one year old, this can be done with the help of flagella (turundas) twisted from sterile cotton wool. Each nostril must be treated with a separate turunda. Cotton swabs cannot be used for this purpose, as you can injure the nose with a sharp movement of the child;
wash the nasal passages of the child. For these purposes, saline solutions, solutions with sea water or decoctions of herbs (for example, chamomile, sage, calendula) are used. Salt solution can be prepared at home at the rate of 1 tsp. food (sea) salt per 1 liter of boiled water. Special solutions for washing the nose based on sea water can be bought at pharmacies;
if necessary, suck out the mucus from the spout of the crumbs with an aspirator.

If these measures do not help, you need to consult a doctor - a pediatrician or an ENT doctor.

Teeth are cutting. The reason for the rejection of the breast may be erupting teeth. This is due to the pain in the mouth that occurs during this process. In addition, increased salivation, a desire to gnaw, bite and pull everything into the mouth, redness and swelling of the gums can indicate cutting teeth.

What to do?

use special gels for gums with an anesthetic effect or special teethers;
mom can massage the baby's gums with her finger, this often relieves discomfort.

Intestinal colic. Intestinal colic, or cramping abdominal pain, begins at about 3 weeks of age and continues until 3 to 4 months of age. This is due to the immaturity of the digestive system in a newborn child and low enzymatic activity. Attacks of crying with intestinal colic can also appear during feeding, then the baby stops sucking and begins to cry long and hysterically. At the same time, he twists his legs (either pulls his knees to his stomach, then tensely stretches them), his tummy is swollen. The baby refuses to eat, takes the breast and immediately throws it. Relief comes from the passage of gases or the act of defecation.

What to do?

exclude from the diet of a nursing mother foods that cause gas formation;
after each feeding, keep the baby upright for 5-7 minutes until air is released from the stomach;
massage the tummy (stroking the abdomen clockwise);
put a warm diaper on the baby's stomach or make him a warm bath;
lay the baby on his stomach in between feedings;
bend the baby's legs and press them to his stomach;
give the child medicine to relieve gas (after consulting a doctor).

Short hyoid frenulum of the tongue. A baby with a short hyoid frenulum, as a rule, has difficulty grasping the breast. If he succeeds, then the process of sucking occurs with great difficulty, and he quickly gets tired. The baby begins to worry, act up and refuses to breastfeed.

What to do?

Consult a pediatrician or pediatric dentist.

Breastfeeding is a serious test for a mother. It requires a lot of patience and a desire to keep breastfeeding. As a rule, nursing mothers who understand the importance and necessity of breastfeeding for a child manage to cope with temporary difficulties and continue natural feeding.

How to fix the shape of the nipple

Shapers (nipple shape correctors) can be used during pregnancy to correct the shape of the nipple for childbirth, as well as after childbirth (for a few minutes before each feeding) to make it easier for the baby to grab the nipple. Shapers are vacuum nozzles, for example:

Glass corrector with a pump (pear) - this device works like a pump-action breast pump. Due to the suction of air, the nipple is pulled forward. Immediately before feeding, squeeze the soft pump, press the corrector against the nipple and release the pump.

A nipple cap-shaped corrector connected to a small outlet tube with a special valve to which a syringe is attached. The principle of operation of such a corrector is based on the creation of a vacuum effect inside the cap, which is put on the nipple. If air is drawn out of the cap with a syringe, a certain vacuum is created in it, and the nipple is pulled out, taking the shape of a cap. When disconnected from the syringe, the vacuum is maintained due to the valve.

How to overcome breast rejection:

It is necessary to express milk daily with a breast pump, this will help maintain lactation and correct the shape of the nipple. You can use special pads for inverted and flat nipples. Perhaps, over time, when the baby becomes stronger, and the shape of the nipple changes a little, you can do without additional devices.
It is necessary to take a shower, try not to use perfume on the neckline, use unscented deodorants.
The use of pacifiers and pacifiers should be avoided. If the baby receives expressed milk or formula from a bottle, then a spoon, or a pipette, or a syringe without a needle should be used instead of a bottle. In what way it will be more convenient for your baby to receive supplementary feeding, you will learn in practice by trying all the methods. At the same time, you need to increase the number of attachments to the chest (or attempts to attach). Especially successful are attempts to breastfeed a sleepy baby when he is about to fall asleep (or about to wake up). Spend as much time with your baby as possible.
Try to focus on the upcoming feeding, smile at the baby, if possible, retire with him.
Foods that affect the taste of milk should be excluded from the diet. If it is not possible to cancel medications, the baby categorically refuses to breastfeed on the days of menstruation, you may have to use the mixture for several days. If you want to keep breastfeeding, you need to express milk and feed the baby with formula from a spoon.
If you suspect any disease in your baby, show it to the doctor. He will make a diagnosis and prescribe treatment. Continue to breastfeed your baby. To maintain lactation, it is necessary to express.
This behavior is normal, while the child gains weight well, develops normally. The child actively sucks before falling asleep and after waking up, and also increases the number of nightly attachments.
Talk to your doctor about the amount of complementary foods to introduce.
Offer your baby the breast more often. Try to normalize the mode, rest and sleep should be sufficient, rational nutrition. Drink 2-2.5 liters of liquid, use special medicinal products that stimulate lactation (lactagon teas with fennel, anise).
It is necessary to express a small amount of milk by hand or with a breast pump before breastfeeding the baby.

Reasons for not breastfeeding

The special shape of the mother's nipples: flat, retracted.
Baby refuses to breastfeed strong smell of mother's perfume.
Use of nipples and pacifiers, bottle feedings. The most common reason for not breastfeeding is in favor of a different suckling method. The “nipple confusion” that has arisen in the child leads to the fact that the baby chooses the most convenient way of sucking for him. Some children choose the breast (reject the pacifier), others combine the pacifier and breast, but still, most children opt for the unfortunate nipple and pacifier.
Mom is in a hurry, not giving the baby the opportunity to properly grab the nipple; mother is nervous; refusal to breastfeed when feeding in an unfamiliar environment or in the presence of strangers.
Changing the taste of milk due to a violation of the diet by a nursing mother (eating a large amount of spices, onions, garlic) or the use of drugs. Milk can change its taste on the days of menstruation.
baby sickness, especially diseases accompanied by nasal congestion, when the baby cannot suckle for a long time. The child may refuse to eat due to weakness, lack of appetite.
Seeming refusal of the breast. At the age of 4 to 7 months, the baby is actively learning new skills, during periods of wakefulness it can be difficult to keep him at the breast, or he sucks a little and is distracted by any rustle.
A large amount of complementary foods introduced and a decrease in the child's need to suckle the breast. This is usually accompanied by the child's habit of falling asleep without a breast.
The reason for breastfeeding may be insufficient milk supply - hypogalactia.
The chest is full of milk and very elastic, it may be difficult for the baby to latch onto the nipple.

Remember: breastfeeding is not a reason to stop breastfeeding!

Babies can often show refusal to breastfeed, and each child has their own reasons for this.

Breastfeeding is one of the most difficult problems for new parents, but it is easy to solve if the reason for this behavior is found in time.

How does a baby refuse to breastfeed?

How to understand that the child really refuses milk? The answer is simple - he himself will let you know about it. Rejection can occur in different ways: the baby does not take both breasts; takes only one breast and does not take the other; breastfeeds only during sleep; turns away, distracted, starts to cry.

Suspicions must necessarily appear in parents with restless behavior of the child during breastfeeding. He may suck a little and throw, then return to the breast again. The child turns around, cries - all these are signs of refusal.

It is important to distinguish between giving up breast milk and stopping breastfeeding. Babies under 9 months of age rarely want to be weaned. Therefore, it is necessary to immediately look for the reason for the refusal.

False and genuine denials

Breastfeeding has some age dependence.

Every 5th mother who observes the refusal of her child is mistaken. However, the probability of a genuine failure remains high and you need to be able to identify it in time.

Genuine rejection more typical for newborns and children after 9 months. In other periods, this is also possible, although it happens less often. The reasons for such a refusal are usually the physical condition of the child (before 1 month) or, accordingly, the child's readiness to complete breastfeeding (after 9 months).

False Denial in general can be characterized as follows: the child wants to suckle, but for some reason he cannot or does not want to. The reasons for this behavior are discussed in more detail below.

There is also the so-called apparent failure. It is typical for a child aged 4-5 months and, as a rule, is accompanied by the introduction of complementary foods. The main sign of such a refusal is that the child is distracted during suckling. This behavior is due to the fact that the child goes through the stages of growing up, his sphere of interests expands. If the baby is gaining weight normally, its development is age-appropriate, then there is no cause for concern.

Sometimes it happens that the child often turns his head. You don't have to take it as a rejection. This may indicate that the child is uncomfortable and needs to be attached.

Reasons for not breastfeeding

In order to protect the baby from possible problems with growth and development, it is necessary to immediately help him - he himself cannot cope with this. And for this you need to determine the reason for this behavior. Let's look at the most common ones.

Causes due to the physical condition of the child

Babies with low weight, weakened, premature, who have had a difficult birth may experience difficulty in sucking. Sucking milk from the breast is physically difficult for these babies. A child may also have a poor tongue grip on the nipple, due to a short frenulum of the tongue.

Babies often pick up infections or get sick. Parents may not even notice this due to the absence of obvious external signs of the disease. In this case, the child does not refuse the breast of his own free will. He wants milk, but he it hurts to swallow or he can't breathe because of a stuffy nose.

Can cause feeding difficulties torticollis, clavicle fracture, or hypertonicity. In this case, the child will cry, quickly let go of the breast. To accurately determine the presence of damage, it is necessary to consult a doctor. Also try to find a position that is comfortable for the child. For example, with torticollis, it will hurt him to suck on only one breast, so he will take only her. If treatment is started on time, the child will learn to take the second breast.

A painful condition appears in an infant and with teething. However, such a refusal will not last long - literally in a couple of days the baby will begin to breastfeed again.

In addition, children experience pain during feeding when thrush or stomatitis. Check your baby's mouth. The situation can be corrected only with the immediate help of doctors.

Quality of breast milk

A child of any age categorically does not take the breast, arches, twists his head. This may be a sign that the baby does not like the taste or smell of milk. Analyze what product could “spoil” your milk: marinades, spices, spices, garlic. Read more about breastfeeding mom nutrition

Taking medications or when a mother starts her period can also affect the taste of breast milk.

Improper breastfeeding technique

Check if you are putting the baby to the breast correctly, it may be uncomfortable for the baby. Neither you nor the baby should experience any discomfort during the feeding process.

Is the baby positioned correctly in your arms, is he latching on correctly? The baby should not strain, turning his head or stretching his neck to reach the nipple. You may need to change your feeding position.

Read about the correct technique of attachment to the breast, as well as positions when feeding.

Change to another type of sucking

If a baby was supplemented with a bottle, there is a chance that he refuses to breastfeed in favor of a bottle, since it is much easier to suck milk from a bottle than from a breast.

Not enough milk

If there is not enough milk in the breast, the baby has to put in a lot of effort to suckle. As a result, he quickly gets tired and stops sucking. Sometimes, babies get so tired that they can even refuse the bottle offered after the breast. As a rule, after or during sucking, the child in this case will show anxiety, twist his legs.

Read how to find out if a baby is getting enough breast milk, how to increase lactation

Hyperlactation

In some cases, the milk itself is to blame, or rather, its quantity. With hyperlactation, the mother's body produces too much milk, which flows into the baby's mouth at high speed. This unnerves children and contributes to whims.

For example, if you feed your baby before bed, he needs to relax, but due to hyperlactation, he has to be in suspense. In this case, the children do not begin to refuse the breast immediately, but rapid weight gain may be the first sign of hyperlactation for you.

Hyperlactation is not treated, the body will still continue to produce a large amount of milk. But this does not mean that the problem should be ignored.

If you notice that the baby is choking, take the breast yourself and calm the baby, only then apply it again.

Hyperlactation causes significant problems only in the first months of feeding the baby. Over time, the child will get used to this regime, in addition, lactation gradually decreases.

Causes due to the psychological discomfort of the baby

Restless anxious behavior of the mother, a similar condition is transmitted to the child. Discord in the family, frequent quarrels of parents. Mom's illness. Separation from mother, lack of mother's attention, mother is often distracted by other duties. Emotional shock for the child, for example, moving, changing the usual environment. Too much noise in the house, too many guests. Visiting a doctor, going on a visit.

All these circumstances can easily confuse a child, “knock out the usual ground from under his feet”, and cause psychological discomfort and stress in the baby, and subsequently breast rejection.

Temporarily set aside all responsibilities that keep you from being with your child.

Explain to loved ones that in the next few days you need to fully focus on the child. Carry your baby to smell you, smell your milk, sleep together. Feeding during daytime and nighttime sleep is a proven way to lure the baby back to the breast. Babies who resist breastfeeding while awake most often agree to breastfeed when they fall asleep or even right in their sleep.

External stimuli

The reason for not breastfeeding may be that the baby is simply distracted. It happens to babies between the ages of 2 and 3 months. At this age, the baby is just beginning to get acquainted with the new world and pays attention to everything new. Since he is interested in the environment, every rustle and every bright thing will distract his attention.

In such situations, often a false refusal is mistaken for a genuine one. What should mom do? Everything is easy enough - if the child turns away from the chest with crying, then the reason is really more serious than just a new sound. If the baby calmly releases the breast, wait until he calms down and continue feeding.

Other reasons

Even in newborn babies, habit plays a big role.

So, for example, in the maternity hospital, the mother feeds the child lying down, and upon arrival home, she began to feed while sitting. Since the baby is used to a certain position during feeding, the new position makes him nervous. In this case, the mother needs to be patient and retrain her baby. Feeding while sitting will not work right away, so first feed the baby while standing, gently shaking. Over time, he will get used to the new position.

Babies can get used to one breast and not attach to the other. This happens if the mother had lactostasis or a crack in her chest. In this case, she stops putting the baby to her for a while. During this period, the baby gets used to the other breast and does not want to eat from the second. Then you need to carefully retrain and apply more often to the “unloved” breast. It is quite possible to retrain a child in a month.

What to do if the baby refuses to breastfeed

If you are sure that you have correctly identified the reason for the child's refusal to breastfeed, find ways to eliminate it. If you still don't know what's causing your baby's anxiety, seek help from a doctor or counselor.

The child may be nervous during feeding due to the lack of psychological contact with the mother. In this case, experts actively practice the “nest method”. The task of the mother is to create around herself a cozy nest for the child, in which he will feel as comfortable as possible. Therefore, all conditions should remind the baby of the womb. It was there that he felt at ease.

The "nest method" is based on constant contact between mother and child. This means that for some time they should not be separated at all. Therefore, try not to let the child out of your arms. If it is difficult to constantly carry it in your arms, use a sling, lie next to it. Children need to feel the warmth of their mother, so try to keep a minimum of clothing separating you from the child.

If you have never practiced co-sleeping with your baby before, be sure to try it. It won't take up much space on the bed, but this continuous contact will bring you closer.

It is important to note that while the problem is being corrected, you should not bottle-feed the baby or give him a pacifier. You can give an additional mixture only on the recommendation of a doctor from a spoon or syringe (without a needle).

Otherwise, it will negatively affect the child's attitude towards breastfeeding and cause a complete refusal.

Try to be patient and careful. If the baby cries while feeding, stop, calm down, and only then continue. Calming the baby, communicate with him, sing songs to him. Such an approach is bound to be successful.

If, after all these tricks, your child (over 9 months old) is still refusing to breastfeed, you can be sure that this is exactly what he is striving for, that your child is really ready to move to a new level - to weaning and completing breastfeeding. feeding.

Video breast rejection:

Breastfeeding is divided into three types:
Self-weaning refers to breastfeeding at natural weaning age. A child who refuses to breastfeed is psychologically and physiologically matured to weaning and simply stops breastfeeding, having enough other nutrition.
A false refusal is usually called the behavior of a child when he cannot take a breast for a long time. This is associated with:
- long "search" for the nipple. The child turns his head at the chest - looking for a nipple for a while

With long-term training of the child in the correct sucking technique (an individual feature of the child);

With a slight distraction from the chest with extraneous sounds during feeding (usually starting at the age of 4-5 months), when the child often turns away from the breast, distracted.

With hyperlactation - increased milk production, abundant milk leakage prevents the child from sucking, he coughs, turns away from a strong flow of milk

With physiological reasons: the child is sick, the child has thrush or an injury to the oral cavity, the nasal passages are clogged and breathing through the nose is difficult, cutting teeth are disturbing

True refusal is the refusal of the breast against the background of experienced stress as a result of a violation of the psycho-emotional connection with the mother. This condition is also called "psycho-emotional deprivation" - repulsion of the mother after a violation of contact with her. This is a dangerous condition, in the absence of an immediate adequate reaction from the mother, fraught with serious problems in the future. It is possible to recognize such a failure, excluding the causes of a false failure, by the following distinctive characteristics, which have approximately the following sequence:
- just calm baby cries at the chest for a long time
- taking the breast, he immediately throws the nipple and cries again
- the baby arches and cries at the offer of the breast
- the child after crying at the breast calms down in the arms NOT of the mother
- the child does not look for the breast, being in the arms of the mother, often cries and behaves uneasily in her arms
- after crying bitterly, falls asleep with sobs outside the mother's arms
- seeks sublimation of comfort - getting used to the nipple, falls asleep exclusively with the nipple
- after a long "scandal" at the chest takes only a bottle
Reasons for true rejection:
- the child was separated from the mother after birth
- baby sucking on a pacifier
Baby falls asleep with a pacifier instead of breastfeeding
- the baby is bottle fed
- with the child for a long time there are strangers
- the mother is often absent, leaving the child with someone
- the child experiences a lack of emotional and physical contact with the mother.
- family environment is emotionally unstable
- the child experiences constant stress, fear, he is treated inconsistently with his age stage of development
- the child is subjected to unnatural and non-physiological procedures that tire him, which frighten him, and the mother is their participant, initiator or witness and does not try to protect, console or stop the procedures (such procedures can be hard massage, diving, dousing with cold water and dynamic gymnastics)
It is important to understand that in the case of true rejection, its main reason is resentment. The psyche of a small child is tuned to the constant presence of the mother and to her satisfaction of his biological expectations from communication with her - physical contact, breastfeeding, a feeling of peace from her smell, body heat, movements, heartbeat and sounds of her voice. These relationships are mostly instinctive . If she often practices weaning (especially up to six months), often tries to put the child in a stroller and a crib, to transfer worries about him to another person, the baby begins to experience a deficit in her presence, which he cannot, due to his development, compensate with anything, because they the instinct to search for these required communication parameters that nature gave him for normal development is driven, and then his psyche turns on emergency stoplights: “I am not needed, they don’t like me, well, then I won’t eat!”. That is, the perception of maternal behavior as a betrayal causes a protest, which, in terms of its destructive power of motivation, could be equated with the rejection of life, instinctive self-elimination. This form of state arising from the dissatisfaction of needs in psychology is called “frustration”. Here is what a scientific giant like Eric Berne writes about these states of babies when their mother deprives them of their opportunity:
“The infant cannot think over the situation by asking the question: “Should she really have gone away, or should she have stayed with me?” Since he is prevented and because he is a baby, he immediately looks for other ways to satisfy his tensions, and if he fails to satisfy his libido (like the desire to live and love of life in general - author's note), he tries to find relief through mortido ( energy tensions relieved by destruction, damage, elimination and distance, the energy of the death instinct) (The same applies to other types of frustrations.)Not being able to control the limbs, he can do it with few
ways, and without much refinement. The adult may run or fight; the baby is not available to either one or the other. The main possible passive reaction for him is to lie still, refusing to suck.” (E. Berne “Introduction to psychiatry and psychoanalysis for the uninitiated” chapter “3. Emotional development of a suckling baby”)

And here is how one nursing mother described her situation with refusal, who managed to trace the reasons for its onset, the development of such side effects that pursue refusals as lactostasis and subsequently cope with the refusal with the support of a lactation consultant.

"Stupid mistake :) we gave the child a pacifier. He asked for a breast every 10 minutes. He would take it - give it up - asks again and so on for half a day. Before that, a sister came and said that the child is now in the oral stage of maturation, he needs to satisfy the sucking reflex, that the breast that the nipple is not important, just to suck

We gave up and then we went for a walk - in a stroller - this is mistake number two.

Firstly, it was still too early to walk, he would have to get comfortable with the space of the apartment .... secondly, I went far, the asphalt is bad, the stroller is shaking - the baby was “turned off” immediately.

I now understand this - a reaction to stress. And then I thought: that's how good it sleeps on the street! Maybe he woke up to eat, but there was a nipple in his mouth - he didn’t ask for a breast for several days, then he’s capricious at home or doesn’t sleep, but I have to eat or some other business - we immediately put him in a stroller, give him a pacifier and pump. He fell asleep with a pacifier and under the “shake”, lie down quietly and fall asleep.

That's how he got used to falling asleep.

And then I realized the other side of the coin: - I began to take the breast incorrectly, I had two lactostasis in a week - I began to take the breast less often, stopped gaining weight (it’s not clear whether he wants to eat or not, because the nipple is in his mouth) - put him to sleep in his arms or under the breast it became impossible: only a stroller and a nipple ... I was scared: if everything is so serious in a week, then what will happen in a couple of months? breast rejection?

We decided to give up the pacifier. And on August 3, we had a shooting range: they took the pacifier away, Yarik screams (he doesn’t cry, but screams, he’s already choking), the stroller was removed, he doesn’t take his chest, he can’t fall asleep, I have a temperature of 39, I need to express lactostasis in a certain position, and the baby refuses ... In short, it’s a shame for the child, ashamed of himself in front of him, Albert accuses me of cruelty (the pacifier should be gradually taken away, just give less and less, and you are so abrupt), I cry from all this nightmare ... Then in the evening Yarik slept a little , subsided. I called a lactation consultant in Krasnoyarsk. My main question was: did I do the right thing by taking it away, so abruptly? It turned out there was no other way. She gave me great support, answered all the questions. It became easier. The consultant warned that now we need to try to make sure that the baby forgets the stress. This is two weeks of “nesting”: no guests, no walks, no bathing, ONLY mother and her breasts. Even daddy better not babysit. The baby needs to learn again that the mother IS and she is the main stronghold and protection. Always and everywhere, no matter what happens.

I tried my best. The regime, of course, could not be sustained anyway. Either the nurse will come, or the grandmother, sometimes I get tired - I’ll give Albert some trouble, we still swam twice ... But even with this approach, the baby became calm, there were fewer tears, fewer nerves.

Now everything is fine)) Yarik woke up, I went to feed him))

Anastasia."

The most basic way to deal with this pathological form of failure is the so-called "nesting method". From the routine of the child, all strangers are excluded for a while, any items of care that separate mother and child, the mother almost all the time stays with the child in bed, in a quiet, semi-dark room, and constantly offers breasts. The rest of the time, when the child does not suckle, sleeps, he still tries to leave him as little as possible, only if necessary, so that he feels it and methodically restores trust. A very important aspect for nesting is the understanding and support of the rest of the family, who will take on all the other responsibilities around the house and help the mother.

Many mothers, having established breastfeeding in the maternity hospital and putting the baby to the chest at home, dream that they will feed like this with the baby until weaning. But literally in a month or two, the child categorically screams at the sight of the breast, turns his head away, throws the nipple as soon as he starts sucking. What's this? Often, such behavior is called refusal, and if the causes of such a problem are not recognized in time, it is possible to transfer the baby to mixtures and deprive him of good nutrition and immune support in the form of breast milk too early.

Breast refusals have both physical and psychological causes, and you can figure them out by carefully looking at the child and the situation as a whole.

Why does the baby refuse to breastfeed?

Refusal behavior is the first statement of the child that he is not part of the mother, but an independent person, but at the same time it is a difficult situation. The difficulties are related to the fact that the most common reasons for refusal are the relationship between the mother and the crumbs, if, in the opinion of the child, the mother's behavior is not what he would have expected. Often, children do not attach to the breast, refuse to suck milk and satiate, but in principle, contact with the mother, as if "offended" by her. Moreover, it is precisely by such protest behavior and refusals, no matter how paradoxical it may be, that the child demonstrates the fact how much he is interested in maternal affection and care, breastfeeding.

Usually, refusal behavior is a clear signal that the mother needs to understand the reasons for the baby's discomfort, pay attention to communication with him, care issues, etc.

This is obvious because normal children cannot refuse those things that they urgently need, they are driven by survival instincts in life. Naturally, in today's situation, if his signals are not understood, they will replace his chest with a formula bottle, but this is not the right way to solve the problem. However, the internal psychological problem of "mother-baby", which led to refusal behavior, such a replacement of milk with a mixture will not solve, and sometimes only aggravate.

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In addition, the nursing mother should also be aware that there are states of true attachment failure and false (age-related behavioral characteristics).

Normal age features mistaken for breast rejection

At the stage of growing up a child, after about three to four months of life, his vision gradually improves, and with his hands the baby reaches for objects with his hands and grabs them, he can explore the world and learn everything new. Therefore, the baby tries to learn new skills, tries to roll over, gradually trains and spends more and more time exploring the world. But while he is still too weak and helpless, but he really wants to taste everything, color and touch.

During periods of feeding, the child may turn away, be distracted, looking at objects and things, trying to play with his mother, breasts, which confuses her. Often, a mother may perceive this as a refusal behavior when the baby is distracted by light or sound, new things and objects. Sometimes he, busy with his knowledge, can leave the GW for a short period of time. Often, this behavior gradually resolves on its own, and the baby explores the world outside of feeding, and the mother, practicing, will not be able to worry about giving up breastfeeding, doing it in such a way that the child is more visible and more comfortable.

Physical causes that may interfere with the baby

Often, purely physical reasons distract from the breast, which an inexperienced mother may take for a refusal to breastfeed. For example, inconvenience and anxiety before defecation or urination, intestinal spasms are possible. In this case, children can cry, writhe at the chest, hysteria, whimper. Then you just need to wait a certain time for the discomfort to disappear, and then re-attach the baby to the breast, or change the feeding regimen, practice planting or just change the diaper, and continue feeding.

In some cases, a temporary refusal can be provoked by the inconvenience of the chosen position, numbness of the neck or other muscles, sore throat, difficulty in nasal breathing, gum disease, headaches. In this case, you need to find out the causes of discomfort, eliminate it, change the position for feeding, remove swaddling. It is important to carefully monitor the crumbs in which situations the refusal behavior is repeated.

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True refusal behavior: what are its causes

In typical cases, this develops in the period of three months and a little older, then about 9 months, and after a year and a half. Often, at the age of nine months and after a year, mothers say that the children abandoned the breast on their own, although the period of self-weaning begins at about 2-3 years, as the baby ceases to need suckling purely physiologically and psychologically. May contribute to the rejection of the breast at the age of 3-4 months, the beginning of the period of separation of oneself from the mother as a person, then closer to 9 months, the active and excessive introduction of complementary foods, water, mixtures, etc. this suppresses the need to suckle from the breast due to the high amount of calories from food.

This is new in the life of the crumbs, it can captivate him so that he seems to “forget” about the breast and milk. If the mother purposefully helps him in this, completely replacing the breast with complementary foods, this quickly leads to refusal.

Physiological features of the mother can cause failure - this is the shape and size of the nipple, a gradual decrease in the flow of milk, the appearance of specific smells of the breast and milk with a certain diet, the use of cosmetics, etc.

Often the cause of breast tantrums and temporary failures is a growth spurt and a temporary imbalance of milk against its background. For a couple of days, the flow and volume of milk becomes less (the baby literally hangs on his chest before a sharp increase in growth), while the baby is used to it literally pouring into his mouth. He may refuse to eat half-empty breasts and make efforts. Be patient, calm down and feed, in a couple of days it will pass. To help in this situation will help change posture, change the environment when feeding.

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"Mom's" factors of refusal behavior

Sometimes, due to fatigue and lack of sleep, the milk in the breast is "clamped" and it is difficult for the child to suck it out. This can lead to withdrawal behavior at the breast.

There may also be a reverse situation, when the flow of milk is strong, the baby chokes and it is difficult for him to suckle so actively and quickly. He may also respond to the capture of such a full breast with refusal behavior.

Simple methods can help in these situations:

In the first - rest, sedation and intake of warm liquids, stimulation of lactation
In the second, expressing a small amount of milk so that its flow becomes weaker. You can change the position so that the chest is nipple up - this is lying on your back or reclining.

Sometimes, against the background of a new pregnancy or the onset of menstruation, the taste of milk may change. It can also change when taking certain foods, with the start of going to the gym and physical activity, when taking medications. In this case, the refusal is temporary, and you should not worry, you need to be more persistent in feeding.

If the breast is rough and the nipple is stretched, it is inconvenient for the baby to grab it, he may refuse to take it. In this case, it will help to pump the breast until soft and normalize the shape of the nipple.

Dummy as a reason for refusal

The most common reason for breastfeeding is the banal bottle with a nipple as a substitute for sucking on the mother's breast. Often the reasons why they appeared in the life of the crumbs were a long and frequent hanging on the chest, whims, crying and tiredness of the mother, a desire to just relax and escape from the house. Instead of paying attention to the child and figuring out what the hanging on the chest is connected with (lack of milk or lack of attention and affection), the child is replaced by a rubber surrogate for the mother. Often the cause of whims could be illness or discomfort, a request for comfort on the chest and a feeling of warmth. His parents did not understand him, and instead of helping him, they plugged his mouth with a pacifier.

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Parents need pacifiers, for children this is an unnecessary item, they are not physiologically adapted to sucking imitators, sucking only the mother's breast is laid down by nature.

There are two problems with pacifiers and bottle nipples - physiological and psychological. Both of them in combination lead to failure behavior in many cases. Let's take a closer look:

To prevent breast rejection, even if it is necessary to supplement with formula, it should be given from a special spoon, cup or drinker, which do not imitate nipple sucking, do not form “nipple confusion”.

Psychological moments

Sometimes the reasons for breast rejection are obvious, like the ones we listed above, but in some cases the problem is hidden much deeper. Sometimes this is a subconscious rejection by the mother of the child, her unpreparedness internally for motherhood, which the baby feels. Outwardly, the mother can perform all the functions assigned to her, takes care of the baby, breastfeeds him, but deep inside she lives a worm of doubt, resentment at herself for an unsuccessful birth, illness, any influences, fears that she is not correct, not be able to feed, etc. Fatigue and stress, problems in the family and poor nutrition can be superimposed, and the thought subconsciously visits - “to stop feeding and giving formula, it will become easier for everyone.” Children at this age are very vulnerable and sensitive, they easily catch such subconscious thoughts and fears, they are sensitive to the atmosphere in the family, experiences, quarrels, and so on. If something is wrong, the child can demonstrate his attitude to this situation and his mother's thoughts by his refusal behavior.

What to do when breastfeeding?

The most important thing is to find out its cause and eliminate it, then it will be easier to deal with both the failure itself and its consequences. It is important to establish full and close contact between mother and baby, restoring lost trust and warmth. This can help:

Organization of joint sleep day and night, feeding on demand,
Constant carrying on hands, in a sling, frequent hugs, touches and kisses,
Massage with mother's hands with tenderness and affection, conversations, lullabies,
Creating rituals for going to bed, bathing, walking: autumn children are conservative in this regard, for peace of mind they need to repeat the same actions, everything new can scare them.
Frequent night feedings, the easiest way to overcome rejection, starting with night and morning feedings, when the baby suckles the breast in sleep and half-asleep.
Attachment to the chest with simultaneous motion sickness, caresses, skin contact - calmness and measuredness, patience.

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It is important against the background of all these activities to strictly control the sufficiency of milk, a constantly hungry child under stress is unlikely to want to overcome breast rejection. A lack of nutrition and fluid leads to starvation and, and then not far from diseases, against the background of which the refusal will only worsen.

At the first request, you need to give the baby a breast at any time and in any place, despite the opinions of others. Only the unity of the mother of the baby is important, and not the opinion of others.

In the most serious situations, you can use " nesting method”- staying in a dim room alone for mother and baby around the clock (breaking for food and going to the toilet), until the previous regimen of feeding and attachment is restored. This is important for both. To help overcome rejection, you can call a lactation consultant or ask for advice from experienced breastfeeding mothers.

Alena Paretskaya, pediatrician, medical commentator