Jealous wife: causes and ways to deal with jealousy. What to do if the wife starts to be jealous for no reason A very jealous wife what to do

23.06.2020

Lately, my wife and I have been arguing almost every day. And all because of her stupid, causeless jealousy. At first, she didn't make me jealous. And now the wife crosses all boundaries. She manages to come to my office, throw a scandal there, just because I was in a meeting and could not answer the phone. The wife immediately comes up with some mistresses and is sure that I did not answer because of them. She doesn't listen to my excuses. Even the confirmation of colleagues that I really was at the meeting does not help.

I'm terribly embarrassed when my wife starts rowing right in the middle of the office. Even my colleagues started laughing at me. And indeed, I look humiliated because of this behavior of my wife. If only there was a reason for such unhealthy jealousy. But I've always been an exemplary husband. I always come home from work on time, I never disappear without a reason. I don’t understand why my wife arranges these scenes of jealousy. Even so, it shames me in public. I'm already tired of sidelong glances and whispering behind my back.

The wife has a claim to every woman working in our office. Literally in everyone she sees my mistress. With her, I'm even afraid to say hello to a colleague already. She will immediately make a scandal. And recently, my beloved really surprised me. She was jealous of me for an employee who is already retiring soon. And it's okay that I'm only 26? She explained her jealousy by the fact that I was too polite with this employee. And how can I be not polite to a woman who is good enough for me to be a mother? But the wife, as always, did not want to hear anything. She left the office, but I understood that another scandal awaited me at home.

At home, during scandals, I always try to calm my beloved. But my calm conversation is drowned out by her scream and the next delusional fantasies. And I realized that it is easier to silently listen to what she says. After all, my wife still does not hear me.

I am insanely tired of such senile jealousy. I never thought a wife would behave like this. I can’t always be only with her and not communicate with other people at all. It's normal that I have to talk with colleagues, other women. We do not live on a deserted island. After all, my wife also communicates with other men, but I don’t suit her with scandals about this. Although it's probably worth it. Maybe he will feel in his own skin how I am "fun".

Any call or message raises a lot of questions from the wife. I have practically nothing personal left, my wife wants to control everything, my every step. I started thinking about seeing a psychologist. There is hope that a professional will be able to reassure his wife. Otherwise, a couple more of these tricks and we will disperse. I love her and don't want to lose her. No matter how 4 years together.

The most important question is this: can a jealous and non-jealous person get along in the same family, or at least maintain long-term pair relationships? Jealous Husband or Jealous Wife - a great test for their partners, if they themselves are not prone to jealousy and do not intend to look for reasons for quarrels on its basis. That is, it is possible to get along, but it is difficult, because you will have to constantly fight off the suspicions of a jealous person. And this gets boring pretty quickly, especially if the suspicions are groundless. But - good news! There are rules for dealing with jealous people, and if you know and follow them, there is a chance to maintain peace and tranquility in a relationship.

The biggest problem between a jealous and non-jealous partner is that the jealous one considers his behavior to be completely normal and natural: “I love you!”. And not the jealous one, who has become the object of suspicion, is offended, “How dare you suspect me, I didn’t have this in my thoughts!”. And if there really was not, then he is an insulted innocence. And if it was (either in thoughts or in reality), then it was not innocence, but also offended because of the attempt on his freedom. The logic here is generally incomprehensible to those who are jealous, it is something like this: “My body, what I want with it, I do it!”. And there are no arguments about “jealousy is the sister of love” here. Because these people have completely different ideas about love.

Quarrels and disassemblies can stop for this couple only if one (and preferably both) come to terms with the presence of jealousy in one and its complete absence in the other. And they will be attentive to each other's feelings.

What does it mean to be careful each other's feelings?

The jealous will start thinking about , how to overcome your jealousy , or at least hide it. And even better - psychologically "treat" so as not to offend the beloved with suspicions.

A non-jealous partner will learn a few rules(below).

That is, in order for such a couple to survive as a couple, they must focus not on themselves, but on their soul mate. And that is the proof of true love.

So the rules are:

How to behave if you have a jealous husband or a jealous wife

Rule one:

Remember forever, educating "a jealous husband or a jealous person is useless" . In your attempts to talk about this feeling as something bad, backward and dense, he (she) will see that you want to get rid of his control. And ... indulge in all serious!

If you still, despite his habit of being jealous even of a lamppost, still continue to live with him, accept his jealousy as an integral part of him: like height or eye color. And do not resist his control, on the contrary, help him control you!

How does it feel to help control yourself?

This is the second rule:

Tell him everything about yourself and in detail! A jealous person gets nervous if they don't have enough information about you.

I know a family where it was enough to drop the call a couple of times for a scene of jealousy to arise. And if the mobile sat down and did not respond within three hours, this could already be considered a reason for divorce.

Therefore, answer calls, charge your mobile phone in time, and most importantly, tell about yourself in detail where you were and what you did, whom you saw, whom you accidentally met.

The topic of a chance meeting with an old acquaintance of the opposite sex, which suddenly popped up a couple of days later (“Why didn’t you tell me right away ?!), will make you suspect ... what? Of course, insidious treason!

He needs to know who texts you or messages on social networks. Who asks to be your friend and how dare he.

Tell me everything in detail!

Rule three:

A jealous person needs constant confirmation that you need him. , and that you are not going anywhere and in no case do you plan to go away. You can say this to him in plain text: “I love you, I need you (need), you are the best (the best), and we will always be together.” Even if it's not entirely true, you better say it. Because there is an unhealed wound in his soul. It cannot be completely cured. You can put painkillers on it and bandage it ... this is your words about eternal love and fidelity. Ask yourself the question "why so?" You can, but that doesn't solve the issue. This is how his childhood made him. It can only be changed by inner work, to which he himself must agree, and only he himself can do it. This is possible if he himself understands that the problem is in him. And if he does not understand, then he will not think about , how to defeat jealousy, he will think how to control you. In this case, your task is to cradle his wound.

Jealous people are constantly hungry

Your jealous wife (or jealous husband) will always be hungry for attention. And this hunger of theirs cannot be satiated forever. Therefore, if you tell such a person that you love him and you need him today, then tomorrow he is again not sure about this! And how a drug addict will demand a new dose of praise and love ... The roots of this hunger are in his childhood, and you cannot fix it. You can only "deal" with yourself (see point 13). And you just have to accept your partner as he is.

Rule four:

If you are being sued (which often happens if you live with a jealous person), never make excuses, avoid a guilty look and tone!

As you know, “whoever makes excuses is guilty,” so this will only make things worse, even if your arguments are logical and the alibi is impeccable. Your jealous partner will perceive the tone, not the words, because jealousy is an emotion and cannot be dealt with in the language of the mind. Speak firmly, keep your shoulders straight, look into your eyes.

Don't make excuses!

Rule five:

If you have something to hide , hide carefully !

The jealous partner must learn conspiracy and do not forget to erase suspicious SMS, emails, messages on social networks.

You need to learn conspiracy even if you are crystal clear

Rule six:

Even if you have nothing to hide, too be careful ! The brains of a jealous husband and a jealous wife are arranged in such a way that from the most innocent event he manages to “grow” a whole story.

One lady texting: "Coming soon?" spotted the trace of a mistress. In fact, it was a friend with whom the husband was going to drink beer and watch football. The fact that the SMS was from the contact "Serega" only added fuel to the fire, they say the husband "encrypted" his mistress. No reasonable arguments worked on his wife, she came up with the following for herself: “If it really was Seryoga, he would have called, why should he write SMS?”

You can’t count on the logic of a jealous person, he has it, but some kind of completely his own, from the point of view of a normal person, turned inside out. And with this, unfortunately, you can’t do anything, (see point number 1).

Rule seven:

Avoid approvingly, or at least sympathetically, treat the heroes of films, books, performances, if the topic of jealousy and betrayal is touched upon. . You can’t sympathize with the deceived side (let alone make fun of, “they say, here’s a sucker, they’re cheating on him, but he doesn’t see!”), Let alone deceiving. It's best to tell a jealous wife that the movie didn't hook you, or something along the lines of, "People do things like that!" with slight disdain. Or grumble to a jealous husband that the film is not bad, but far from life. This is the best way to calm them down.

Rule eight:

God forbid you flirt in front of a jealous person with someone or pay attention to signs of attention in your direction.

If your jealous half is so stupid that she will point out to you: “Why is this guy staring at you so much?” Say indifferently: “Yes? I did not notice. I guess I look like some friend of his.”

No flirting!

Rule nine:

If you decide to give yourself a gift (perfume, flowers, clothes, tie or whatever) keep the receipt, put it in a prominent place.

Don't give us a reason to suspect you!

Rule ten:

If you stay somewhere, take preventive measures - report it by call or message. Avoid situations in which the jealous person is in the dark and has time to screw himself up.

Rule eleven:

What to do with the jealousy that your partner demonstrates not only to you, but to others (parents, friends, colleagues, neighbors). You may be ashamed and offended, especially if this scene of jealousy is from scratch.

There's nothing you can do, you'll have to ignore it, shrugging your shoulders: "Such a person!", And then tell him in private about your feelings. In no case do not arrange a showdown in public, this will only aggravate the situation.

Do not try to shame your loved one for a fit of jealousy in public

Rule twelve:

If you are caught cheating ... confess or not? There is no single answer here, because everything is decided by the degree of jealousy of your partner, his gender and personality, as well as how irrefutable the evidence is. How can one not recall a well-known anecdote:

“- How dare you lie to me that you haven’t changed? I saw it with my own eyes!

“I’m not lying to you, but your shameless eyes!”

Funny, but it can work, especially with men.

Why with them? A jealous husband in the event of his wife's infidelity feels bad about himself. And a jealous wife feels a bad rival, and herself only offended. Therefore, a woman will more easily accept recognition and apologies (preferably with gifts). But a man will remember betrayal as a betrayal, so it’s better not to admit it if there is such an opportunity.

Do not admit to any sympathy for other people, much less cheating

Rule thirteen:

If you are not jealous at all, then this offends a jealous partner, because for him this feeling is still a sign of love. Therefore, sometimes play his favorite game.

The scene of jealousy that you arrange for him a couple of times a month will only please him.

play his game

Rule fourteen:

The most important rule: remember, if your partner is jealous of you, then the jealousy program is in you too! Perhaps you simply do not notice it, because you forbid yourself to show such “low” feelings, or the objects of your jealousy are not your husband or wife, but the successes of colleagues and competitors. In any case, only by working with your own jealousy can you influence your partner's jealousy.

Jealousy is YOUR program!

If you acknowledge the existence of this program at home (albeit in a hidden form), it will be easier for you to come to terms with it and follow the above rules.

In 90% of cases, scandals about jealousy are not only to blame for the one who is jealous, but also for the one who lacks the patience and wisdom to avoid sharp corners. Or lacks basic knowledge of how to behave with jealous husband and jealous wife. But after this article, you already have them. Is not it?

Patience and humor to you, dear readers!

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Jealousy keeps such a feeling as falling in love. Jealousy is an indicator of interest in the person we are in love with. No jealousy - no interest, no love. The same applies to the person who is interested in us.

Jealousy is a sign of love, it is the art of causing oneself even more harm than others, it is the fear of the superiority of another person, a source of torment for the lover and resentment for the beloved. Jealousy is always looking through a spyglass that makes small things big, suspicions are truths. Therefore, the jealousy shown by the spouses should be moderate, not going beyond the limits of what is permitted by Shariah.

Basically, the hearth begins to fade, weaken, if you do not shun useless jealousy. To prevent quarrels in the house due to jealousy, there are some tips that should be followed:

First. Don't make your husband your property. Do not limit his freedom. Be content with the fact that he loves you, admits this to you. Trust his words and feelings, this is enough to be happy.

Second. If your husband confesses his feelings to you, claims that he loves you, and does not give rise to jealousy, but still you are jealous and arrange scenes of jealousy for him, then you simply have nothing to do. Occupy yourself with other worries or hobbies. Why dwell on it like there's nothing more to worry about? Think about your position in the afterlife and how much you aspire and prepare for it. Think about whether the Creator will be pleased with your behavior. Remember the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), transmitted from Abu Hurairah, which says that “indeed, some manifestations of jealousy Allah loves, while others are hated by God: the same that the Lord loves - when there are doubts for jealousy, those but what is hateful - when there is no suspicion for jealousy ”(Ibn Maja). Jealousy based on an empty place is called in the hadeeth "jealousy, which the Almighty hates"

Third. The feeling of jealousy causes doubt in you, the fear of losing a loved one, that he will stop loving you, and at the same time a feeling of inferiority arises in you. This is just an additional incentive for self-development. If you have experienced such a feeling, then take care of yourself, your character, behavior, conversation, show great humility and desire for your husband, surround him with great attention and care, change your usual habitual mode to a pleasantly attractive one.

Changing your approach to him may not immediately give the desired result, because he will see something unusual in this, because he has not seen it from you before and did not expect it, but this should not embarrass you and you should not omit hands, but on the contrary, take him further and more, he will soon like it and you will be satisfied.

Fourth. Jealousy sometimes kills love itself. Jealousy shocks and poisons everything that is beautiful and good in love. Therefore, do not ask him unnecessary, unnecessary questions, such as “where was”, “who called”, “why was he late”, “why didn’t he pick up the phone”, “who are you texting”, “do you have another”, “who is she ”, “prove it to me”, “swear”, “I don’t believe you”. Also, do not tell him “why did you come so late”, “could not have come at all”, “it was not bad without you”, “let the other one do something for you”, “do not expect the attention from me that was before” , “I will also do what I want”, “then you don’t ask me anything either”, “I have the right to know”, “don’t deceive me” and similar unnecessary questions that will annoy him and aggravate your relationship, as this will make him either lie to you to calm you down, or respond to you rudely, which will push you away and hurt your heart even more. Do not try to check his phone, records, conversations, etc., trust him. Let you be more concerned about what the Almighty has obliged you to do in relation to your spouse. Whenever he comes home, greet him with a smile - this will show him your good mood. Ask if he is tired, offer him something to eat. If he refuses, do not ask "why", "where did you eat", it is better to offer coffee or tea. Your attention will not go unnoticed.

Fifth. Remember that the Almighty did not oblige you to control his time and place, and you will not be asked about this on the Day of Judgment. Also, they won’t ask you why they didn’t ask your spouse “where was”, “where did you go”, “with whom did you go”, “why did you go”, “why did you come so late”, etc. On the contrary, they will ask you why not gave him due attention and care whenever he came home. According to Sharia, a husband is not required to spend the night at home near his wife (not to mention providing an account to her of his affairs), unless he has more than one wife. Then, if he spends the night near one of the wives, he will have to spend it near the other, observing equality. Do not be selfish, give freedom to your loved one, which Sharia has given him, and this person will never be able to neglect you and your feelings.

If he does not appreciate this and will torment you, then be patient and trust in the Almighty. Avoid scandals as much as possible by being patient, for those who are patient will receive a great reward. The Lord in the Holy Book - the Quran - said: (meaning): "...Verily, the patient will receive their reward without counting!"(Sura Az-Zumar, verse 10).

Once a woman came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) for some need. He asked her: "... Do you have a spouse?" She answered in the affirmative. He again asked: “How are you with him?” She replied: “I do everything in my power for him.” The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said to this: “Look where you are before him! Truly, it is Heaven and Hell for you!”(Imam Ahmad, al-Baykhaki).

If your husband or wife cites certain words as evidence or justification, etc., it is advisable for you to accept them and be indulgent than to persist in your conjectures and suspicions, because in a reliable hadith it says: “No one has a feeling of jealousy inherent in such a measure as Allah, and therefore He forbade both open and secret obscene deeds. And no one loves justification as much as Allah…”

In this hadith, jealousy, which is based on hatred and dislike for everything obscene, is mentioned along with the love of justification, which implies the perfection of justice, mercy and virtue.

Almighty Allah is jealous, but He loves when slaves ask His forgiveness, and forgives those who do so. He does not punish His servants for doing what causes His jealousy and anger until they justify their actions.

The biggest problem between a jealous and non-jealous partner is that the jealous one considers his behavior to be completely normal and natural: "I love you!". And not the jealous one, who has become the object of suspicion, is offended, “How dare you suspect me, I didn’t have this in my thoughts!”. And if there really was not, then he is an insulted innocence. And if it was (either in thoughts or in reality), then it was not innocence, but also offended because of the attempt on his freedom. The logic here is generally incomprehensible to those who are jealous, it is something like this: "My body, I do what I want with it!". And no arguments about "jealousy is the sister of love" do not work here. Because these people have completely different ideas about love.

The jealous person will begin to think about how to overcome his jealousy, or at least hide it. And even better - psychologically "treat" so as not to offend the beloved with suspicions.

A non-jealous partner will learn a few rules (below).

That is, in order for such a couple to survive as a couple, they must focus not on themselves, but on their soul mate. And that is the proof of true love.

So the rules are:

How to behave if you have a jealous husband or a jealous wife.

Rule one:

Remember forever, "raising" a jealous husband or a jealous person is useless. "In your attempts to talk about this feeling as something bad, backward and dense, he (she) will see that you want to get rid of his control. And ... to go all out!

How does it feel to help control yourself?

This is the second rule:

Tell him everything about yourself and in detail! A jealous person gets nervous if they don't have enough information about you.

Therefore, answer calls, charge your mobile phone in time, and most importantly, tell about yourself in detail where you were and what you did, whom you saw, whom you accidentally met.

He needs to know who texts you or messages on social networks. Who asks to be your friend and how dare he.

Tell me everything in detail!

Rule three:

A jealous person needs constant confirmation that you need him, and that you are not going anywhere and in no case do you plan to go away. You can say it to him in plain text: "I love you, I need you (I need you), you are the best (the best), and we will always be together." Even if it's not entirely true, you better say it. Because there is an unhealed wound in his soul. It cannot be completely cured. You can put painkillers on it and bandage it ... this is your words about eternal love and fidelity. Ask yourself the question "why so?" You can, but that doesn't solve the issue. This is how his childhood made him. It can only be changed by inner work, to which he himself must agree, and only he himself can do it. This is possible if he himself understands that the problem is in him. And if he does not understand, then he will not think about how to defeat jealousy, he will think about how to control you. In this case, your task is to cradle his wound.

Jealous people are constantly hungry.

Rule four:

If you are being complained about (which often happens if you live with a jealous person), never make excuses, avoid the guilty look and tone!

As you know, "he who makes excuses is to blame", so this will only get worse, even if your arguments are logical and the alibi is impeccable. Your jealous partner will perceive the tone, not the words, because jealousy is an emotion and cannot be dealt with in the language of the mind. Speak firmly, keep your shoulders straight, look into your eyes.

Don't make excuses!

Rule five:

If you have something to hide, hide it carefully!

The jealous partner must learn conspiracy and do not forget to erase suspicious SMS, emails, messages on social networks.

You need to learn conspiracy, even if you are crystal clear.

Rule six:

Even if you have nothing to hide, be careful too! The brains of a jealous husband and a jealous wife are arranged in such a way that from the most innocent event he manages to "grow" a whole story.

One lady texting: "Soon?" spotted the trace of a mistress. In fact, it was a friend with whom the husband was going to drink beer and watch football. The fact that the SMS was from the contact "Serega" only added fuel to the fire, they say the husband "encrypted" his mistress. No reasonable arguments worked on his wife, she came up with the following for herself: "If it really was Seryoga, he would have called, why should he write SMS?"

Avoid approvingly, or at least sympathetically, treat the heroes of films, books, performances if the topic of jealousy and betrayal is touched upon. You can’t sympathize with the deceived side (let alone play a joke, “they say, here’s a sucker, they’re cheating on him, but he doesn’t see!”), Let alone deceiving. It's best to tell a jealous wife that the movie didn't hook you, or something along the lines of, "People do things like that!" with slight disdain. Or grumble to a jealous husband that the film is not bad, but far from life. This is the best way to calm them down.

Rule eight:

God forbid, in front of a jealous person, flirt with someone or pay attention to signs of attention in your direction.

If your jealous half is so stupid that she herself will point out to you: “What is this guy staring at you like that for?” Say indifferently: “Yes? I didn’t notice. I probably look like some kind of his friend.”

No flirting!

Rule nine:

If you decide to give yourself a gift (perfume, flowers, clothes, tie or whatever), keep the receipt, put it in a prominent place.

Don't give us a reason to suspect you!

Rule ten:

If you stay somewhere, take preventive measures - report it by call or message. Avoid situations in which the jealous person is in the dark and has time to screw himself up.

Rule eleven:

Do not try to shame your loved one for a fit of jealousy in public.

Rule twelve:

If you are caught cheating ... confess or not? There is no single answer here, because everything is decided by the degree of jealousy of your partner, his gender and personality, as well as how irrefutable the evidence is. How can one not recall a well-known anecdote:

How dare you lie to me that you haven't cheated on me? I saw it with my own eyes!

“I’m not lying to you, but your shameless eyes!”

Funny, but it can work, especially with men.

Do not admit to any sympathy for other people, much less cheating.

Rule thirteen:

If you are not jealous at all, then this offends a jealous partner, because for him this feeling is still a sign of love. Therefore, sometimes play his favorite game.

The scene of jealousy that you arrange for him a couple of times a month will only please him.

Play his game.

Rule fourteen:

The most important rule: remember, if your partner is jealous of you, then the jealousy program is in you too! Perhaps you simply do not notice it, because you forbid yourself to show such "low" feelings, or the objects of your jealousy are not your husband or wife, but the successes of colleagues and competitors. In any case, only by working with your own jealousy can you influence your partner's jealousy.

Jealousy is your program!

If you acknowledge the existence of this program at home (albeit in a hidden form), it will be easier for you to come to terms with it and follow the above rules.

In 90% of cases, scandals about jealousy are not only to blame for the one who is jealous, but also for the one who lacks the patience and wisdom to avoid sharp corners. Or there is not enough elementary knowledge of how to behave with a jealous husband and a jealous wife. But after this article, you already have them. Is not it?

Basically, the hearth begins to fade, weaken, if you do not shun useless jealousy. To prevent quarrels in the house due to jealousy, there are some tips that should be followed:

First. Don't make your husband your property. Do not limit his freedom. Be content with the fact that he loves you, admits this to you. Trust his words and feelings, this is enough to be happy.

If he does not appreciate this and will torment you, then be patient and trust in the Almighty. Avoid scandals as much as possible by being patient, for those who are patient will receive a great reward. The Lord in the Holy Book - the Quran - said: (meaning): ". Verily, the patient will receive their reward without counting!”(Sura Az-Zumar, verse 10).

In this hadith, jealousy, which is based on hatred and dislike for everything obscene, is mentioned along with the love of justification, which implies the perfection of justice, mercy and virtue.

A source:
Jealous wife - like Satan?
Jealousy is a sign of love, it is the art of causing oneself even more harm than others, it is the fear of the superiority of another person, a source of torment for the lover and resentment for the beloved. Jealousy is always looking through a spyglass that makes small things big, suspicions are truths. Therefore, the jealousy shown by the spouses should be moderate, not going beyond the limits of what is permitted by Shariah.
http://islam.ru/content/obshestvo/11664

Mendelssohn's march had just ended, and two more lucky ones joined the cohort of family people. It seems that well-being has settled in their house for a long time, or even forever, and from now on there is no place for gloomy thoughts and experiences. Alas, reality very often turns out to be far from beautiful dreams, and after the beautiful Love, poisonous Jealousy creeps into life. Is the test of jealousy the lot of all newlyweds? And if so, how to survive it without loss?

WITH NUMBERS IN HANDS

Unfortunately, practicing psychotherapists have to deal with the problems of jealousy in a young family quite often. Therefore, experts seriously took up the study of this incident of family life.

Thus, the Philadelphia psychotherapist B. Trubnyak studied in detail three hundred married couples aged 23 to 30 who had lived together for five years. Among the three main problems that overshadowed the first three years of marriage, more than half of the couples named jealousy. And jealousy on the part of his wife. In second place were conflicts over domestic problems, in third place were sexual disagreements. And the consequences of jealousy were most severe for those couples where the wife (for whatever reason, but most often because of pregnancy and the birth of a child) left work.

As a result of research, it turned out that jealousy hits the weakest half of humanity the most, regardless of who initiated it. If the spouse is jealous, then the “steel sting” of jealousy is directed primarily at the jealous woman herself. If a man is jealous, the picture is just the opposite: the mental disorders of the one that is suspected turn out to be more significant than those of Othello.

But the saddest thing is something else. It turns out that in most cases, jealousy occurs. on the empty place! Of the three hundred women studied, the vast majority agreed to the use of "truth serum" - a drug that forces you to tell only the truth. And it turned out that about 200 women experienced a feeling of jealousy; suspected her husband of sexual infidelity - about 150, were "one hundred percent convinced of his infidelity" - 103 women (a third of all studied!). Moreover, 97 women from the last group, after two or three years, came to the conclusion that they suspected absolutely in vain.

I must say that other experts in their studies came to very similar conclusions. The well-known Russian social psychologist V. Tripolsky carefully studied one hundred Moscow couples who divorced after three or four years of marriage. He was interested in the underlying causes of the breakup of a couple, and for his research he used, among other methods, immersion in a hypnotic state - of course, with the consent of the subjects themselves. And under hypnosis, as you know, people always tell the truth. So, to the question: “What prevented you from becoming happy in marriage?”, Ex-husbands often admitted that they were exhausted by the jealousy of their wife and the fact that they had to constantly make excuses. In general, more than 50 percent of the divorced believed that the jealousy of one or both spouses played a decisive role in the breakup of the family.

But all these results do not at all indicate that jealousy at the beginning of married life is a new trend. It’s just that the role of this insidious feeling as the cause of the breakup of a married couple, according to most modern psychotherapists, was underestimated until recently. Yes, this is understandable: during a divorce, spouses rarely talk to judges, registry office workers and friends about the true causes of discord, rightly considering them too intimate.

PICTURE FROM THE EXHIBITION

Let's see how some feelings, bright and bright, in the blink of an eye can turn into completely opposite ones. Black, disturbing, corroding the soul. Here is just one real story, which, without any doubt, can be considered typical.

I calmed down for a while, but not for long. Irina began to call Serezha at home, i.e. to us home! Always polite, talking about business, but sometimes quite late, at half past ten. I’m due in a month, I have a big belly, my face is swollen, and here she is slim and speaks English! And I can’t understand: they are at work from 10 to 18, what kind of problems arose after four hours? Or did Seryozha not inform her that his wife was “in demolition” at home? In general, instead of a happy expectation of the firstborn, we got bickering and quarrels.

Now our son is already a year old, none of the employees calls home, my husband never mentions Irina, but the thought constantly sharpens me: “What if this is a conspiracy? While there was nothing between them, Sergey told me about her, and she called. I spent three weeks in the maternity hospital, then for many more months I was not in the best shape - during this time anything could happen between them! Seryozha leaves for work, I do my son, do homework, and I myself am tormented: is he dating her or not? Sometimes it hurts so much. »

AND ALL WHY AND FOR WHAT REASON?

Many modern experts agree that the jealousy of a young wife is based on the fact that the love feeling of the fair sex lasts much longer than that of us men. More precisely, it is more slowly replaced by the next stage - marital love. During the period of romantic love, most women tend to idealize their beloved - his mental and human virtues. A woman in love is unshakably convinced that her chosen one is interesting and attractive to other women. And as soon as they discover in him what she once discovered, they will immediately try to take away her young husband.

In addition, in the first year of marriage, mutual hypersexuality occurs, one might even say, sexual intoxication with each other. After all, the cherished dream came true - to be together all the time, to have the opportunity to enjoy each other as much as you like. Studies show that in the first year of marriage, young spouses have as many sexual acts as in the next 10 years. Moreover, both the quality and the duration of intimate contacts surpass all subsequent ones. Such a rise cannot last forever, it requires large energy costs, and intimate life gradually becomes less intense. This seemingly understandable decline arouses suspicion: “After all, he is so sexy, where is his temperament realized? Maybe with another woman?

With all the difficulties and shortcomings of working in an office, in an institution, at an enterprise, in a word, outside the home, such work has two main advantages. The first of these is to constantly receive some moral support from colleagues at work. Someone smiled, someone told about something, someone nodded approvingly. A young woman feels accepted and approved by a person, her self-esteem is high and stable. Secondly, the very situation in the office, computers and telephones, faxes and printers keep the newly-made spouse in an “adult” state, constantly reminding her that she is not a child, that she is busy with adult business. As soon as a young woman is at home, no matter how wonderful, cozy and bright it may be, the first and second factors disappear.

She begins to think, feel and react like a child. The future mother, who is constantly in the apartment, quickly breaks away from reality, fantasies creep into her head that her husband somewhere “free” is flirting and flirting with women or they are with him. In the cramped world of the apartment, she clearly imagines how her husband (who seems so smart and attractive to her!) hugs an employee and, turning off the computer, makes love to her right on the desktop. There is absolutely no one to correct the enacted imagination, the young wife is alone in the apartment. It is not difficult to imagine what kind of scene awaits a young man who has returned from work, whose only desire after a busy day is to have a quiet dinner and sleep off.

Staying at home, working from home for the vast majority of young women is an exorbitant test. Their self-esteem drops sharply, their behavior becomes impulsive and unpredictable. It is a little easier for those who live with their parents: a father, mother or mother-in-law can put her in her place and, as they say, "set her brains". But most young couples tend to live separately from their parents, and in an isolated apartment, regression often plays out in full force, quickly ruining a still fragile union.

MARRIAGE SAFETY

The magical emotional upsurge of the first months of marriage, passion and sexual enthusiasm, unfortunately, tend to fade away. Often, young spouses try to maintain the intensity of sexual passion with the help of jealousy. “You probably spent all your energy on Natasha?” jokes the young wife. “Yes, Natasha is like that, as long as you satisfy her, seven sweats will come down!” the husband answers. The revival of sexuality has been achieved: an innocent fantasy of intimacy with an employee, a virtual "turning on a third" activated passion. But in the morning he left for work, and she, stirring the semolina, thinks with horror: what if Natasha is really not only a work colleague? Pretty, lonely, constantly next to my husband. And the imagination is already drawing, drawing, drawing.

So the first tip: in the first years of living together, avoid even mentioning other women and men, do not direct yourself or your partner to these thoughts!

Tip two: your imagination has drawn you an unusually beautiful, intelligent and sexy rival. In 96 percent of cases, this person is neither smart, nor beautiful, and. not a rival! Do not let your imagination run wild: go and talk to her under some pretext, of course, without hiding who you are. The idealized image of the opponent will collapse like a house of cards! Yes, it is not easy to do this, but, as my thirty years of experience shows, it is always useful.

Tip three: discussion of the issue of infidelity should be very gentle and delicate. In the same 96 percent of cases, it turns out that there was no infidelity at all, but in the process of finding out, you said such a thing that you can’t erase it from your partner’s memory. Please note that in the first years of our life together, we men rarely cheat on our girlfriends. Don't let your imagination get you too far!

Tip four: if you suspect your husband of being infatuated with some woman, feel resentment and all these thoughts and feelings take up too much space in your soul - do not delay contacting a specialist; Jealousy is a rather stubborn disorder, and it goes away slowly on its own.

A source:
A jealous wife is a tyrant or a victim
A jealous wife is a tyrant or a victim
http://www.sportbok.narod.ru/Vseo/vseo23.html

jealous wife

no need to explain more. a) ignore tantrums b) say that life is unbearable, will continue, get a divorce. Actually, the second point is the obvious truth that you need to convey to your wife.

Can you be more specific about the assault?

Don't fight at all. As with jealous men, this is a clinic. Either endure brainwashing all your life or leave. It's better to leave.

And if the assault on his part, after his wife eats his whole brain, then just run right away! Why do you need people in the environment, next to whom you become bad?

The girl lacks attention and care. Let them go to the theater without children, and then dinner at a restaurant. And so 2 times a month

I don’t know .. the significance of the husband is already below the baseboard, and such tricks will spoil the balance even more

If the husband gives her a reason, it is natural that she is jealous. Probably staring at her at other girls. And the wife is not a fool, she understands that betrayal is quite likely if there is a suitable case. Even hit him? So that's how he brought the woman.

except to sit down to talk, to convey to her that there are no betrayals, that you need to trust each other, you won’t go anywhere without trust! if not, then humble and live, or divorce

all men look at girls. and the wife, apparently, is still not too smart, since she doesn’t understand that with her brain drains she will only achieve a divorce

Maybe she wants a divorce) About the fact that all the men look at the girls. I wrote not looking, but LOOKING, which means it devours with a look, brazenly stares. If a man does this in front of his wife, then this is a clear disrespect for her, indecent and k_o b ***** l and s m. A normal man, not a ***** ANIMAL, can restrain himself and does not stare in front of his lady. Did you come in ignorant?)

And what is your business? He lives with her, so he's fine.

Maybe he just doesn’t want to hang out with you until the morning in the club, he excuses himself with a jealous wife

What do you really care about this? or your friend is asking for advice and you don't know what to say? maybe he's jealous of you?

I, too, am interested in assault. Who is hammering whom? Is it a wife or a husband?

And why are you climbing into someone else's family? Or again, extreme topics on the wiring woman?))

Pathological groundless jealousy is a sign of the most severe mental illness, this is called psychosis, it happens with schizophrenia, it will end badly without treatment. Your friend is in. Even if he gets divorced, he will have to pay alimony to his disabled wife according to the law. Let her be more careful, such illnesses are inherited, tell her to get divorced and not hurt her children.

Of course - money, gifts, travel, attention and care.

He doesn't want her to be a good husband.

Jealousy, especially female is not treated. I myself was in such a situation - my husband was very jealous, turned to a psychologist - she said that it was useless. We tried a couple of sessions. Does not help. I suffered for half a year and left. I am more valuable to myself. I think that as soon as there are bells of jealousy, you need to run. Jealousy is an indicator of the inadequacy of people! Trust is the basis of relationships

A friend has a very jealous wife, constantly suspects him of infidelity, which in fact is not. Attempts to explain that she is wrong lead to scandals with assault. He does not want to get divorced, because he loves her, but it is already impossible to endure. Advise what to do in such a situation? How to make a wife respect her husband?

And how does YOUR husband feel about this friendship of yours?

Or you are a single woman who prefers to be friends with other people's husbands.

Because it is these people who are usually indignant that their wives prevent them from being "friends"

They will manage without your help, they live means they like it

moved in that you are still happiness for your martyr. the point is only that it is not known whether he is staring at someone or just sitting in a women's team. in the bottom line, he does not change, but she does not believe and continues to suspect and hysteria. + I think a man is not a masochist, he can build logical chains in his head and not look at anyone with his wife, since she gets it so much

And the complete absence of jealousy is called dislike. Look, such things are also passed on, and a person doesn’t even need alimony, the unfortunate ones. Think about it.

what do you care? the wife of that friend does not allow you to go to the bathhouse with you and you are worried that there is no one else to have fun with? :))) it’s not your wife and it’s none of your business, I won’t be surprised that after every scandal with his wife, a friend then has passionate sex trying on and they like to live like that, people can light kmk :))

Ha! The sex is so passionate that both of them walk around with broken muzzles. I'm just a little worried about my friend.

Don't mess with their family! You have no such right! If your friend wants a divorce, he will. He is a grown man, he is able to make a decision.

The only way to raise a wife proven by generations - BBPE)

bbpe is hitting a woman in the face. but it's a bad method.

I am normal and respond appropriately. And here you are d u r ra finished) or a man * lyadun. And this topic is yours t u p and I'm wiring))

OK. you kind of humiliated me a bit in the subject, got some joy) typical behavior of a low-ranking sds.

After my husband’s betrayal, I also lost my head on this basis, I can’t control sowing. Before that, there were no thoughts about jealousy. I realized that only a divorce would help. The husband also answers boorishly when a woman looks out of the car that he was given eyes for this. To his stump.

I don't think there is anything more to add to what has already been said. Thanks to all users for their comments.

Funny. There, probably, the husband stares at every woman, dreaming of sticking, and constantly sticks out with his mistresses in saunas, or he drives young colleges to work every day, and they ask what to do with a jealous wife. If you don't want to be jealous, don't give a reason, be quiet.

Change wisely, male with abf. And there will be those short-lived happiness.

And here, imagine, does not change. I won’t say anything about staring, because all normal men, even faithful ones, pay attention to beautiful women. It's just that some women don't need a reason to be jealous. This is what we are talking about.

In general, people are not jealous group sex, bi and ladies and men share with everyone.

Live in a cage or run, the choice is only a choice!

Let him communicate less with women with her and not give a reason. No woman will tolerate when her man flirts with others or communicates too much. If he is jealous, then he is guilty of provoking. Let him stop.

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What does it mean to be careful each other's feelings?

How to behave if you have a jealous husband or a jealous wife

Rule one:

How does it feel to help control yourself?

This is the second rule:

Tell me everything in detail!

Rule three:

Jealous people are constantly hungry

Rule four:

Don't make excuses!

Rule five:

You need to learn conspiracy even if you are crystal clear

Rule six:

Rule seven:

Rule eight:

No flirting!

Don't give us a reason to suspect you!

Rule ten:

Rule eleven:

Do not try to shame your loved one for a fit of jealousy in public

Rule twelve:

Do not admit to any sympathy for other people, much less cheating

Rule thirteen:

play his game

Rule fourteen:

Jealousy is YOUR program!

jealous wife