How to keep love in a relationship: tips. The main thing is a joint desire to be together for a long time. What destroys feelings

09.05.2019

Instructions

They say that most divorces happen because the woman hopes that the marriage will change, and the man thinks that the woman will stay the same. Therefore, one of the main rules that will help preserve is, on the one hand, not to consider your partner as your property and not to strive to remake him “for yourself” - to remain yourself.

You should not strive to be an inseparable couple, constantly holding each other's hands. It is important to continue to be interested not only in your family, but also in yourself - your desires, needs, interests. Otherwise, after a few years you will find that apart from home and everyday life you do nothing, and that you have nothing to tell your loved one, and your family communication has been reduced to discussing the menu for dinner and the timing of the trip to your mother-in-law.

Keep your distance. Yes, husband and wife are a single whole, but still it is worth remembering that there are things that are "intimate" and that personal space is necessary for every person. Therefore, do not walk around the house in such a way in which you are ashamed to open the door to a stranger, leave yourself some little secrets - and be sure to give each family member a corner where you can be alone. Or at least a personal shelf in the closet where you can hide a surprise in store for the holiday.

Don't blackmail your partner from sex. Girls are especially prone to refuse lovemaking if they are offended or do not get what they want. But physical love is an act of mutual trust, and turning it into an additional argument in an argument or into a "big favor" to a spouse is a direct path to killing love.

And do not forget to constantly "confirm" your love in different ways. This can be words (praise, gratitude, compliments), and inexpensive gifts "for no reason", and time devoted to a partner (conversations, joint activities). As well as touching and manifesting ordinary household care. At the same time, different things may be significant for different people - so it is important to understand what is most pleasant for your partner: goodbye or cooked breakfast.

Finally, remember that we are all human and that living together with anyone can hardly be like an endless holiday. We are all sometimes sick, sometimes tired, sometimes hot-tempered, and there is hardly a person on Earth with an ideal character. But any problems that arise in life together can be solved. The main thing at the same time is to respect your partner, strive to understand him - and talk to each other. And love will not leave you.

1. The law of love

Love implies not only feelings, but also a desire to take care, cherish and look after your soul mate. Mutual love is the work of both partners who want to keep their feelings for many years. Eliminate all negative emotions from your relationship. Showing jealousy or a desire to manipulate a loved one will prevent you from maintaining a warm relationship. Develop the best qualities in yourself, because mutual love requires disinterestedness and generosity on the part of both lovers.

2. The law of the word

The words we speak are extremely powerful. With their help, we can attract any benefits to life. That is why there is no place for abuse and reproaches in love. Words with a negative connotation negatively affect relationships and can destroy the strongest couple. So that your love is constantly fueled by the energy of both partners, often say compliments to each other and the most important words in people's lives: "I love you."

3. The law of trust

People in a relationship must learn to trust each other and justify trust. If you are jealous of your soul mate and try to catch her in a lie, then such a relationship is doomed. The fear of loneliness, which can give rise to jealousy, should be excluded from your relationship, because if your love is mutual, then you have nothing to fear. Love and trust each other, and then you can overcome all obstacles on the way.

4. The law of donation

Give each other mutual feelings if you want to keep love in your couple. The more you give, the more you get in return. Love always returns, so your sincere feelings will always return to you with sincere warmth and care. Remember that it is easy to lose love: all you need to do is give nothing in return, and then you will be unhappy in the relationship. Do not wait to be loved, take the first step, and you can plunge into wonderful feelings. The principle of love is not about what you can take in return for your relationship with your partner, but about what you can give to maintain harmony and happiness in a couple.

5. The law of touch

Tactile sensations are a powerful means of maintaining love. Through touch, you can show your love and enjoy moments of togetherness and mutual happiness. Hugs provoke a response from your partner, and showing concern will be an excellent foundation for a trusting relationship. Even just holding hands, you will feel a wonderful feeling of love, trust and understanding with your soul mate.

6. The law of freedom

Do not choke your soul mate by depriving her of freedom. The obstacles you are trying to restrict your partner with do not foster trust. Sometimes love manifests itself in caring, when one of the partners gives the beloved the opportunity to be alone, meet with his friends, or just sit with a book in silence. If you try to "keep on a short leash" your soul mate, then you can forget about trusting relationships and reciprocal love. The more freedom you have in your relationship, the more understanding you will achieve.

7. The law of sincerity

A sincere relationship will allow you to trust each other and nourish the flower of your love every day. Sincerity is an indispensable element of love, so many secrets will not help your relationship grow. Every day, let your partner know how much you love and trust him. This behavior will provoke reciprocal trust, and your couple will not be in danger of breaking up.

The search for love does not always end successfully, and partners may not be who they appear to be. In order not to be disappointed in your choice, use the numerological calculation. With it, you can find out how strong your love compatibility is. We wish you sincere love and reciprocity, and do not forget to press the buttons and

09.01.2018 07:20

Love is a stronghold of vitality and luck, which can be found with the help of Slavic traditions. ...

Relationships can be saved only if they are sincere and mutual. But, as you know, nothing is perfect. And even in the strongest relationships, a crack can occur. And who knows if this relationship was sincere. And yet the question arises - why did this happen?

Why you have to maintain a long relationship

Every couple has a moment when the relationship cools down a little. The main thing is not to panic, but to get through this period correctly.

Why feelings fade away:

Your feelings have diminished over time;

You are often far apart;

Everyday life and everyday life have replaced romantic moments;

Distrust resulting from treason;

Tired of your duties;

Life difficulties and problems.

Problems in intimacy.

This, of course, is not the whole list of reasons due to which relations deteriorate. But the most important thing is in such situations to pull yourself together and find a way out of this situation together. And we will help you how to maintain a long-term relationship.

You need to clarify all the misunderstandings that worry you. You should not close in yourself and worry yourself. It can even lead to madness. Better to chat and put everything in its place. You must always be open and sincere in everything. This is the only way you can reach out to your half and sort out all the troubles;

Always be attentive to each other. Compliments, admiration for victories - all this will only have a positive effect on your relationship. Also, do not forget to thank each other for the specific work done, even not significant;

Try to surprise each other more often. You can, of course, surprise you with expensive gifts, but this does not always work. It is better to let it be a pleasant surprise or gift for your partner, but it will symbolize something only for both of you;

Be together more in your free time. You will be able to get to know each other more and more, as well as it will be pleasant for both of you to be and do something interesting together;

Division of labor will be a great way to strengthen your relationship. Remember that you, too, can do what your significant other does. And it will be nice when she comes home from work, she will not need to do it. Better yet, when you do everything together. Even cooking dinner will be more enjoyable when done together;

Also, try to carry out all the problems together, it will be easier and together it is much easier to find a way out of this situation.

So, you just have to want, and balance and idyll will come again in your relationship.

How to maintain a long relationship as a couple

Do not hesitate to talk with your chosen one about your feelings, about what bothers you. The main thing in a relationship is trust and frankness. Without heart-to-heart conversations, you will not understand each other. Create a conducive environment for conversation, talk about what bothers you;

It is difficult for men to express their emotions, but for a wise woman it is not a problem to lead the conversation to find out what is really going on in the soul of the chosen one. Try to keep things calm and relaxed. No nervousness. If your partner cannot speak to you at home, change the environment and talk in a place where you have enjoyed more than once. This will help you relax and not withdraw;

Find out why your relationship is different. There can be a lot of reasons: betrayal, unforgiven grievances, negligence towards each other, life's troubles. Don't focus on your grievances. If you intend to keep your feelings, forgive everything and let go;

Try to accept your partner with all his flaws. There are no perfect ones, and you are no exception. Give him the opportunity to be himself. Help him cope with what he does all the time himself - trying to be the way you want you. It is difficult for a person to live constantly in tension, he gets tired of it. Make him re-open before you and you will see your love for him again;

Add romance to your feelings: arrange a date, make a gift just like that, be there in difficult moments;

Forget that tantrums and scandals are an effective way. This will stress not only him, but you as well.

Family problems often fill our everyday life and the question of how to maintain relationships becomes the main thing in order to save the family and establish a joint life.

At the first stage of a relationship, there is a special euphoria that feelings will never go away. Waiting minutes seem like an eternity, and eternity means boundless happiness and pink castles.

It is sad to realize, but sooner or later any relationship endures trials and may end. The chance to keep your senses depends on both of you. If a woman and a man have happiness in their communication, then they will surely find a way to preserve and not lose their union.

There are three main dangers for loving people:

Cool quickly and get bored with each other

Be sure that you know everything about each other. That is, your partner has become uninteresting to you.

Treason as a result of a frivolous act or thoughtless flirting.

How to maintain a long-term relationship with a loved one

Be sure to clarify all misunderstandings. The habit of accumulating resentment inside, without discussing problems with a partner, leads to the emergence of coldness between people.

With a prolonged internal conflict, severe depression may occur and there will be a desire to break off the relationship. You should learn to communicate with confidence and openness, not hide resentment and seek help from the closest person. If your relationship is open and sincere, it will last a long time.

Pay attention to each other. Compliment your partner more often, appreciate his personality, problem-solving skills and work achievements. You need to appreciate what partners do for each other in everyday life every day - praise your husband for sharpened knives, thank your wife for a delicious dinner, etc. Try to pay attention to each other, thus you will maintain closeness.

Surprise each other more often. This does not mean giving any expensive and chic gifts. Small surprises, expressions of concern, sudden and unexpected trips, meetings - take the routine out of your relationship. You can give a gift, small, but meaningful to you. Choose things that are practical and romantic, thus bringing a smile of surprise on your partner's face.

Spend your free time on each other. Spend weekends and evenings together, not all, but enough so that none of you feel left out or deprived of it.

It is necessary to share responsibilities. When you start dating, few people think about what is to be and what consequences it can bring. When the household lapping begins, many couples fail the endurance test. If in a relationship someone does all the household chores, and someone does nothing, then the conflict is inevitable.

Learn to solve everyday problems together, share responsibility, turn an ordinary shopping trip into an opportunity to be close to each other.

Here are five basic rules to guide you on how to keep your relationship going.

How to keep love in a relationship

According to psychologists, any love story can be told in 6 sentences, since the relationship between a man and a woman goes through 6 stages. It is the knowledge of these turning points that helps many couples find the answer to the vital question: how to maintain the relationship and love between a man and a woman.

In childhood, many of us liked to jump over one or even two steps, alas, in love everything is different, and an attempt to playfully jump over a problem or the interests of a loved one can end sadly.

The first stage is the stage of falling in love, romance and adoration of the chosen one. All traits and habits seem to be perfect. And the lovers themselves look at each other as in mirrors, in which only the undeniable advantages of both are reflected so far. This is the "childhood" of love, the most carefree period, which lasts about one month. But if you are both lucky, then you can keep this feeling for 3-4 years.

The second stage is the time of compromise. Havelovers lose the desire to constantly hold hands, peer at each other, they begin to notice in their loved ones what they have not seen before. At this point, many couples break up.

The time has come to gradually “break away from each other”, but many lovers are so carried away by this natural process that they cannot stop and part forever. Respect, the ability to listen and understand a loved one, patience are the main helpers that will help maintain relationships and move to the third stage.

The third stage is the time of the struggle for power in the union of a man and a woman. The confrontation is growing. At this time, the phrase most often sounds: "You do not love me!" During this period, serious support from friends and family will be required to maintain the relationship.

The fourth stage is the most difficult, it is also called the “fatal 7th year”. The most critical time for marriages, this period accounts for the largest number of divorces, the danger of adultery increases.

Each of the spouses, after 7 years of marriage, seems to be ready to dissociate themselves from their partner in order to assert their “I”. At this time, to maintain love and relationships will require firmness and the ability to give in on time and say "no" to your chosen one in time, courage and the ability to speak frankly about common problems.

The fifth stage is a truce. If your marriage lasted until stage 5, then you can safely tell yourself that you know how to maintain a relationship between a man and a woman.

The sixth stage is finding harmony in love on a new round. Peace, peace and happiness reign in the family. Partners have learned to accept each other for who they are. If your family boat hasn't crashed and sailed to the 6th stage, most likely. Your marriage will last for years to come.

How to keep love in the family

If life together or constant communication turns into a familiar and monotonous routine, you will not be happy when your husband comes from work, and your spouse will take your household chores out of habit.

Try at least once to meet your husband from work not with a routine question: "how are you?", But with an intriguing promise to surprise you with something. Prepare a delicious dinner, set the table beautifully, tell us about an unusual recipe that amazingly boosts immunity.

Watch all his favorite shows together and be there all the time. Dirty dishes and an unwashed floor will not go anywhere. It is possible that only you can see it. Turn at least one evening into a holiday and an opportunity for close communication.

It is much easier for a man to win a woman's heart. A bouquet of flowers, a cute souvenir, gentle and warm words will awaken the heart of every woman.

If your husband is trying to concentrate on the next chess move, do not try to bother him and complain that you are bored. It is possible that after a successful chess game, inspired by the victory, he will be able to dispel your boredom in such a way that you will fall in love with chess and may even start playing it.

If your spouse is keen on talking with a friend, do not rush to take offense and demand that she make tea. Maybe the protracted conversation also weighs on her. Make your own tea and invite her to the table.

She will be grateful to you for your understanding and patience. Maybe this act of yours will genuinely surprise her. It is this surprise that will pay off. Next time, the spouse will try to put off unnecessary chatter.

The music of family life always requires the skill of an arranger. What notes the duet members take depends only on them. Understanding and helping each other are the main components of family life. Family and the desire to preserve love is work on oneself. Daily and tireless, requiring trust and understanding.

It is much more difficult to understand how to maintain love and relationships if treason crept up on you. There are no ready-made recipes. If you have the strength, then you will forgive the man. You cannot accept treason. You can understand and forgive. But if you decide to delete this episode from your life, never return to this topic.

Your spouse may be the most punishing person. Your constant reminder of his mistake can not only irritate, but also finally assure him that he once did the right thing. Become for your husband not only a beloved woman, but also a sincere and understanding friend.

Human relationships are extremely complex. More recently, love and understanding reigned between a guy and a girl (or between a husband and wife) - and suddenly, it would seem, out of nowhere, quarrels and arguments over trifles began. As a result, each meeting turned into a series of conflicts arising literally from scratch. What is it? End of love? What to do? Let's not rush to put an end to it. This is just the first crisis in a relationship.

Causes of the crisis

When a guy and a girl in love start dating, they, of course, expect that their meetings will always be positively emotional. And that the relationship will develop easily, without tension and omissions. Well, how could it be otherwise? After all, they understand each other so well, so they can always find a common language and overcome all obstacles! However, sometimes quite a bit of time passes, and complete mutual understanding disappears somewhere, dissatisfaction with each other's actions or words appears, and irritation arising from every little thing. The result is endless quarrels, often leading to a complete break. There is nothing surprising in this. And this gap between a man and a woman is most often mistaken. Because almost everyone experiences the crisis of the first year of a relationship, even very loving couples (just not always they know what to do now).

Why is this happening? Because with any communication that takes place for quite a long time, disagreements appear sooner or later. There is no normal relationship without quarrels and conflicts. Even if a guy and a girl love each other very much, they remain two independent personalities with their own individual character traits, their own aspirations and views of the world. And the reasons for the crisis of the first year of relations are precisely these differences, which we often forget about in the heat of the original passion. And often, due to our inexperience, we simply do not take them into account, which, in general, cannot be done.

"How?" - someone will object, - “What are the differences ?! My beloved husband (boyfriend) and I are absolutely the same! Our views on life completely coincide, we have the same hobbies and aspirations, and we always try to do everything together! Therefore, there can be no crisis in the relationship! Where does he come from if we just have nothing to quarrel about? " Of course, there are also couples in which everything is the same. And the peace and quiet reigning in relations between husband and wife have been completely satisfied with them for many years. But practice shows that most often from “silence, smoothness and fret” both get bored, and the couple, which seemed so reliable, suddenly falls apart without much noise. Therefore, it is quite possible to say that the crisis in your relationship is in some way an indicator of the normal process of the development of these very relationships and progress in the adaptation of a man and a woman to each other.

Quarrels between a man and a woman during such a crisis can arise literally from scratch, regardless of their wishes and will. Every little thing can be a reason for them, which, in essence, has no meaning in life. A whole chain of conflicts is formed from little things, and now none of the two remembers how the disagreements began, and tries to find non-existent shortcomings in the other, and reproaches himself for not having noticed these pseudo-shortcomings before. And he comes to the conclusion that he was wrong, and it is time to end the relationship before it is too late, and that there is simply no point in taking any steps towards reconciliation. Here - stop! When there is a crisis in a relationship, we all tend to attribute negative qualities to each other, which in reality are not even in sight.

Blinded by our emotions, we can easily break up with our husband, who, after the wave of emotions subsides, will again seem the only and best in the world. And God forbid that in this case it will be possible to return everything back. But the opposite often happens: a loved one, who has done all sorts of things in the heat, is already irretrievably lost, and now even hit your head against the wall, but there is no return to the past. And all that remains is to regret what you have done and try to forget forever about the past moments of true love. How to be, what to do? How to overcome a crisis in a relationship and understand that this is really a crisis, and not the death of the original love?

Coping with a relationship crisis

So, our mutual love and enthusiasm for knowing each other suddenly disappeared somewhere, replaced by constant quarrels and finding out who is more right. And now everyone begins to seriously doubt their choice and sees the chosen one in a completely different light. Don't jump to conclusions. During such periods, the main thing is patience and the ability to look from the outside at your own actions. Perhaps it is we who show incontinence and provoke a loved one into conflicts, trying to cling to his every step? If this is so, then you must first of all take care of yourself and try to develop such a quality in your character as patience. In a relationship between two, it is akin to a magic wand - it will always help in critical moments and save love from destruction. This is the main answer to the question of what to do in difficult situations and how to cope with a crisis in a relationship.

If a period of conflict suddenly begins in a still loving couple, both need to hack to death: there will always be a reasonable way out of any situation. Therefore, it is not worth rushing and making drastic decisions about the breakup. It is very easy to break everything, but to create anew ... It is better not to take rash steps and find a compromise based on respect for each other. It should be borne in mind that a man and a woman are like different poles of the globe. They have different thinking, different psychology, different attitudes and life positions.

Often, inexperienced girls who do not know how to go through a crisis in their relationship with a guy mistakenly attribute their own views of the world to him. Don't make such a common mistake! Men think differently and perceive a crisis situation differently. Usually the stronger sex strives to avoid scandals, so if they become frequent, many guys simply refuse to meet even with a very desirable girl. If the beloved does this, the girl should analyze her own behavior in order to understand if she is the instigator of constant quarrels and if there is a good reason for these quarrels. Otherwise, the attempts of a loved one to hide somewhere can lead to an undesirable outcome: sooner or later he will simply find himself a more peaceful corner.

Of course, before thinking about how to overcome a crisis in a relationship, you need to think carefully about whether there is still love between a husband and wife. Perhaps, in reality, this is not a crisis at all, but the death of love, which there is no point in experiencing for too long. It is advisable for the girl to decide this question together with the guy, calmly expressing her complaints to him.

When someone begins to doubt their feelings, you can part for a while to understand if you really need this person. If it is difficult without him, the world has become dull, and life seems meaningless, then it is worth thinking about how to behave when exacerbated relations come. If in a day or two we begin to forget about the existence of a previously beloved person - well ... Then it is better to leave and not fool each other.

When we are convinced that we need a person, and conflicts are really a consequence of a crisis in relationships, we need to think about whether we put up correctly after quarrels. After all, a truce is a whole science. Usually, girls believe that the guy should be the first to take a step towards him and take a wait and see attitude, even if they realize that they are the wrong side in the conflict. The guy, in turn, does not want to follow the lead of his beloved, and also waits for her to step towards him. How to be in this case?

Of course, all women really want men to beg their forgiveness by throwing themselves on their knees and falling asleep with flowers. They especially strive for this when crises arise in your relationship; women are very vulnerable emotionally, and such crises are always a great shock for them, leaving a deep mark. A loved one on his knees and with flowers is in some way a cure for the stress suffered, an opportunity to smooth out its negative consequences. But!!!

Let's think, dear girls, about who our so courageous guy can turn into if we start constantly breaking him, forcing him, whether on his knees or not, to ask for forgiveness for what he is not to blame. As a result, if this person is pliant enough, instead of a strong man, we will get a weak-willed, completely dependent on our opinion, a subject worthy of not love, but, at best, indulgence. At worst, contempt. Well, if our beloved has a persistent character, then sooner or later he will get tired of regular drinking on his knees; manhood is a powerful thing! And then he will either make us respect this dignity, or he will simply disappear from our lives. And the loss of a real man is a great loss.

So, in order to avoid such consequences of crises in relationships, let's, dear girls, learn to take independent steps towards reconciliation. After all, we are interested in the safety of relations, and in the fact that next to us was a self-sufficient, reliable man, and not a slobber and a weakling, whom it is absolutely impossible to entrust ourselves to. In addition, it is we who are given by nature to be wiser and more patient, and it is we, and not men, who are endowed with a great ability to forgive. Therefore, we will not take upon ourselves the functions of a harsh denouncer, we cannot build true happiness on this.

However, we cannot build it even if, even when a crisis comes, we fully adjust to our beloved, trying to guess all his desires and please him in everything. This will not lead to anything good, it will only give rise to a feeling of neglect in the guy. You should always behave with dignity and every minute you must remember that every girl is a person, with her own character, beliefs and aspirations. And this personality in oneself must be respected by itself, and to force others to respect it. Therefore, to get out of conflict situations, you need to be able to choose a path that will not become destructive for our personality.

In short, a truce is the art of respecting both your loved one and yourself. It is necessary to learn this art, because it maximally contributes to how to overcome the crisis in your relationship with the minimum risk of their collapse. How to study it? Where to begin? Here are some good tips that, at first glance, have little to do with the ability to put up; however, these tips help you become more attentive to your beloved, form his correct opinion about yourself, and about yourself, about him:

Before deciding on a serious relationship, let's think about what we like in people, what traits of their character annoy us, how we see ourselves in love and what we consider our shortcomings. This will help you determine your own behavior in relations with a representative of the stronger sex and control yourself if necessary;
If the relationship already exists, let's think about how dear a person is to us and whether it is worth making efforts to overcome the crisis. If there is no special desire to be with him for the rest of his life, then the issue of an armistice after conflicts will disappear by itself;
When meeting with a loved one, we try to form the fullest possible opinion about him, learning as much as possible about his tastes, habits, outlook on life, and so on. In order to find out how compatible we are with him and how he will behave in critical situations, if we disagree with something in his views, we openly express our point of view, observing his reaction (not only what, but also how he will do) ;
When disagreements arise, we try to be sincere with ourselves and try to figure out the true reasons for the guy's dissatisfaction with our behavior. If he has reason for this dissatisfaction, we try to correct our own behavior.

Take care of your happiness!

Now we know that in relationships there are always crises, but they should be, because they are the moment of truth. And you need to overcome them patiently and persistently, otherwise there can be no talk of any serious relationship with worthy men. Especially carefully and carefully you need to approach the first crisis in a relationship, because it is he who, more than others, is capable of very quickly destroying such a fragile union of two hearts. If we reckon with the people we love and respect their opinions, our chances of happiness will increase significantly. And what, my dear girls, can be more desirable in this world than this all-consuming, all-conquering and so powerful female happiness?