Moral education of a child in a family. Family and moral education and development of children. The goals of family moral education

20.09.2019

Speech by the class teacher of the 11th grade Zaitseva E.V.

29.11.2012 at a general school parents' meeting on the topic

"Moral education of students in the family and at school"

Target:

1. Show that family traditions, moral principles, pedagogical skills of parents are necessary conditions for the formation of a child's moral convictions;

2. Consider the problems of moral education of children in the family.

Tasks:

1. To identify the level of moral education of children in the family.

2. Determine family conditions, microclimate and methods necessary for the formation of a morally developed personality in the family.

Epigraph: "The wealth of spiritual life begins where noble thought and moral feeling, merging into one, live in a highly moral deed."

(V.A. Sukhomlinsky).

Plan:

Family and school collaboration.

The role of the family in the formation of the moral qualities of the child.

The upbringing potential of the family.

Methods and conditions for the moral education of a child in a family.

Principles of interaction between adults and children.

Material for discussion.

The issue of moral education is one of the most important issues in pedagogy. Even more attention is paid to him in folk pedagogy, in proverbs and sayings, for example:

Not everyone benefits from strict discipline.

Punishment improves the good and the bad worse (Italian).

But you cannot indulge the whims and misdeeds of children.

Who indulges children, he himself cries (Ukrainian).

Give the child free rein - you yourself will go into captivity (Lithuanian).

Nevertheless, one should not rush to punishment, one should first delve into the cause of the offense.

First, get the child out of the river, and then punish it (as they say in some countries of the African contingent).

In modern conditions, the situation is such that the family and school are the main respondents for all the failures associated with the upbringing of the younger generation.

Today's children, unfortunately or fortunately, due to objective and subjective reasons, grow up much earlier. The school is faced with the fact that the problems associated with growing up students concern not only senior school age, but also younger adolescents. Today, many teachers say that it is difficult to work not in grades 10-11, but in grades 5-6, as the transition to adulthood is often accompanied by a change in the child's eyes in the value of his own family. This is a very important problem that affects not only the child's teaching, but also his entire way of life, his actions and behavior.

What role should the family and school play during this period in the life of a teenager? How can they help to survive the stages of growing up of their child with minimal losses for him and for the parents?

First of all, this is all-round emotional support for the child. Whatever throwing torments the child, no matter how ridiculous these throwing is from the point of view of an adult, parents should empathize, understand, accept and support their child just because they are his parents.

Many parents make the mistake of blaming their child for growing up. “Since you are such an adult, it means that I will talk to you in an adult way,” they say. An attempt to lead a child, the desire of parents "once and for all" to put everything in its place often leads to the collapse of the child-parent relationship.

The first and main feeling of parents in relation to their child should be deep faith in him and trust, sincere and real, which is formed in early childhood, and its sprouts give their shoots in adolescence.

The modern school always acts as an ally of parents in the upbringing of the future generation. Unfortunately, many adults, teachers and parents forget that not a single teenager is immune from the first trial and error - the temptation of the unknown is too great, the ways to achieve many temptations are too simple, it is too difficult to oppose oneself to one's peers. The overall goal of the family and the school is to develop measures of resilience to unjustified trials. In this regard, one of the strategic lines of development and successful functioning of the school is serious and purposeful education of the family on the issues of growing up a child. The task of the school is to make the family a helper and friend, both for the child himself and for the school.

The problem of purposeful, logically structured upbringing of students is as acute for the school as for the parents of the students. However, the ways of solving this problem in school differ significantly from solving this problem in the family. The task of the school is to instill in the child the understanding that school is a certain social stage, which absolutely does not need to be identified with the stepfather's house. The upbringing of children in school should not replace parental upbringing. It should continue it, and this is possible only if the family trusts the school, and the school justifies the family's trust and helps the family in the formation and maturation of the child.

One of the most important features of school age is the development of moral consciousness: moral ideas, concepts, beliefs, a system of value judgments, which a child begins to be guided by at school. Depending on what kind of moral experience he acquires, what kind of moral activity he carries out, his personality will take shape.

In adolescence, parents come to school to see teachers and say that the child, with whom until recently there was a warm and frank relationship, has completely changed his attitude towards the family.

First of all, the parents blame the child himself, not realizing that he “changed glasses”: what had previously seemed funny and understandable to him has turned into a completely different side. Parental love becomes insignificant, "imperceptible", everyday, trust and sincerity disappear from communication between family members. This current situation testifies to the fact that without suspecting it themselves, the father and mother "overlooked" the mental formation of their child. Therefore, to prevent this from happening, you should never lose sight of the mental state of your child. If you feel any "disagreements" with the child - intervene, because without the help of adults, it is very difficult for a child who has no life experience to find answers to the questions "why?" and why?". Intervention by adults, both from the family and from the school, should not be treacherous, it should be careful not to harm. Do not harm - one of the main principles in the formation and education of the child's personality.

The problem of moral education remains very urgent today.

The burden of difficulties that we have inherited is very heavy. The end of the 2nd millennium was marked by environmental disasters, entailing a violation of the ecological balance in the physical and moral health of people. The horrible manifestations of social and economic cataclysms are the increased juvenile delinquency, blooming with lush flowers and, like ambrosia, an intractable drug addiction. The consequence (or the reason?) Of this are lack of spirituality, revaluation of values, loss of moral guidelines of the younger generation and, consequently, of society as a whole.

Family education is inextricably linked with the life of society and the state.

Child and society, family and society, child and family. These closely related concepts can be arranged in the following sequence: family - child - society. The child grew up, became a conscious member of society, created a family in which children were born again ... From this we can conclude that the moral health of our society depends on how moral, kind and decent our children are.

The family is traditionally the main educational institution. What the child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of the family is due to the fact that the child is in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of its impact on the personality, none of the institutions of upbringing can compare with the family. It lays the foundations of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school, he is already more than half formed as a person.

The family can act as both a positive and a negative factor in upbringing. The positive impact on the personality of the child is that no one, except for the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, treat the child better, do not love him and do not care about him so much. At the same time, no other social institution can potentially do as much harm in raising children as the family can do.

The moral values, guidelines and beliefs of the individual are contained in the family. The family is a special kind of collective that plays a basic, long-term and most important role in upbringing.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky believed that the main content of moral education was the formation of such personality traits as ideological, humanism, citizenship, responsibility, hard work, nobility and the ability to manage oneself.

All the elements of their moral world must be brought up in children. Everything is important. The harmony of the moral world of a person, the guarantee of his kindness is provided only by all his components, but moral needs are guiding. Moral needs - the most noble and humane - are not given by nature, they must be brought up, without them high spirituality and kindness are impossible.

For a child's moral need to arise, a moral environment is necessary. Such an environment should be the kind world of a family or other environment.

Nothing does more harm to the education of kindness than the discrepancy between the lifestyle of adults and their verbal instructions. This leads to disappointment in children, distrust, ridicule, cynicism.

A child, not even being able to speak yet, not realizing the speech and actions of adults, already understands, “captures” the moral climate of the family environment and reacts to it in his own way. Goodwill towards each other, calm affectionate speech, a calm tone in communication is a good and obligatory background for the formation of moral needs in a child, and, conversely, a cry, rude intonations - such a family atmosphere will lead to opposite results. The effectiveness of good is successfully formed in children by all the examples of the life of an adult family environment, and therefore it is important that the latter does not diverge from word to deed.

One of the central concepts of the human moral world is conscience. “Conscience is a person's ability to self-control, self-esteem based on public moral assessments. Conscience primordially means knowledge of general information about human behavior, its norms, principles, the essence of a person, etc.

You need to start forming a conscience by fostering a sense of shame in your child.

The primary task of parents is to bring up in their children a deep, reliable understanding of conscience, so that it becomes a feeling, a particle of the spiritual world.

The moral needs of a person are closely related to moral feelings, which are also the motives of human behavior. Thiscompassion, sympathy, empathy, selflessness ...

Raising developed moral needs is the main task

parents. The task is quite feasible. What is needed for its successful solution?

1) Parents should be aware of the importance of this task.

2) To develop these moral needs in themselves, since improvement continues throughout human life. Parents who would like to raise their child not spontaneously, but consciously, should begin the analysis of their child's upbringing with an analysis of themselves, with an analysis of the characteristics of their own personality.

3) Know how, by what methods to form moral needs in children.

Intra-family social and psychological factors that have educational value (educational potential of the family):

According to sociologists, the educational potential of a family is determined by a number of factors:

its material and housing security, the cultural and educational level of the parents, the moral and psychological climate existing in it, the authority of the father and mother in children and the children's trust in their parents, the unity of requirements in the family.

In this regard, the pedagogical flaws of parents can be caused by

the following reasons:

1) incomplete family;

2) a conflict atmosphere in the family;

3) the presence of an initially formed false point of view on the upbringing of a child. For example: “My sacred duty is to clothe, shoe, feed, and the rest is the business of the school”;

4) with complete external well-being of the family - authoritarian methods of education;

5) excessive vicious parental love, etc.

Tasks of the teacher:

a) find out how to do so in order to maximize the positive and minimize the negative impact of the family on the upbringing of the child;

b) convince parents of the fallacy and inconsistency of their point of view and indicate the methods and ways of moral education of the child in the family.

The following methods and conditions for the moral education of a child in a family should be noted:

1) The atmosphere of love... A person deprived of this feeling is not able to respect his loved ones, fellow citizens, the Motherland, to do good to people. The atmosphere of love and heartfelt affection, sensitivity, caring of family members for each other has a strong influence on the child's psyche, gives a wide scope for the manifestation of the child's feelings, the formation and implementation of his moral needs.

American psychologist James Dobson notes: “We all really need to not only belong to a separate group of people busy with their own affairs and live in the same house, but also to feel the closeness of loved ones, to breathe the general atmosphere of a family that is aware of its individuality and uniqueness , its own special character, its traditions ”.

At the same time P. Lesgaft argued that blind unreasonable maternal love "killing a child is worse than a cane" makes a person an immoral consumer.

2) The atmosphere of sincerity.“Parents ... should not lie to their children in any important, significant life circumstances. Every lie, every deception, every simulation ... the child notices with extreme acuteness and speed; and, having noticed, falls into embarrassment, temptation and suspicion. If a child cannot be told something, then it is always better to honestly and directly refuse to answer or draw a certain line in information, than to invent nonsense and then get entangled in it or than lie and deceive and then be exposed by childish discernment. And you shouldn't say: “It's too early for you to know”, or “You won't understand it anyway”; such answers only irritate curiosity and pride in the child's soul.

Better to answer like this: “I have no right to tell you this; every person is obliged to keep known secrets, and it is indelicate and immodest to inquire about other people's secrets. " This does not violate the straightforwardness and sincerity, and gives a concrete lesson in duty, discipline and delicacy ... "

3) Clarification. Impact by word.

The word should be applied specifically to a specific person, the word should be meaningful, have a deep meaning and emotional coloring. For a word to educate, it must leave a mark in the thoughts and soul of the pupil, and for this it is necessary to learn to delve into the meaning of words. Only then can we count on emotional impact. Teenagers love to reason, but parents often suppress this reasoning, emphasizing their immaturity, explaining that they are still small, and therefore it is too early for them to express their opinions. But it is in the course of this reasoning that adolescents comprehend moral concepts. What is the right way to talk to a child? It's all about knowing what to say and how to say.

First, you don’t have to tell a child or teenager what he knows very well without us. It is pointless.

Secondly, we need to think about the tone and manner of our conversation in order to avoid "reprimands" and "boring sermons." Neither one nor the other sinks into the soul of a child.

Thirdly, we need to think over how to connect our conversation with life, what practical result we want to achieve.

experiences, prompting to be active. Children of different ages need to be convinced in different ways. Younger students demand convincing examples from life, from books. The teenager is convinced by a deep faith in the word of adults. With children of senior school age, V.A. Sukhomlinsky advises to think aloud, share doubts with them, and seek advice. Such ease affirms trust, frankness, sincerity, brings together

an adult and a child, opens the way to his spiritual world.

4) Reproaches are a big mistake in family education. Alone

reproach the child for the fact that he is already big, but does not study well, others reproach both age and physical strength. Those parents are doing the right thing. Which arouse in children a sense of pride in their adulthood, encourage, instill confidence in the possibility of success, What is the harm of reproaches? The main evil is that such reproaches cause disbelief in oneself, and disbelief in oneself relaxes the will and paralyzes the soul, interfering with making independent decisions in overcoming difficulties.

5) V. A. Sukhomlinsky considered punishment as an extreme measure of influence.

Punishment has educational power in the case when it convinces, makes you think about your own behavior, about your attitude towards people. But the punishment should not offend the dignity of a person, express disbelief in him.

strictness and kindness. It is very important that the child in the censure of an adult feels not only severity, but also self-care.

7) V.A. Sukhomlinsky considers a very important method in education

prohibition. It prevents many flaws in behavior, teaches children to reasonably relate to their desires. Children and adolescents have a lot of desires, but all of them are impossible and do not need to be satisfied. “If the elders strive to satisfy any child's desire, a capricious creature grows up, a slave to whims and a tyrant of neighbors. The upbringing of desires is the subtlest work of an educator, wise and decisive, sensitive and ruthless. " From childhood, you need to teach a person to manage their desires, you can correctly relate to concepts,

it is necessary, it is impossible.

Thus, parental indulgence is very harmful. “… The art of commanding and prohibiting… is not easy. But in healthy and happy families it always blooms. "

8) It is necessary to educate feelings.This means both word and deed to cause experiences, awaken feelings, deliberately creating an appropriate situation or using a natural environment.

The essence of the emotional situation as a means of education lies in the fact that in connection with any event, deed, a person feels the subtlest experiences of another and responds to them with his own. Feelings are not imposed, but awakened, and they can be awakened not artificially, but by sincere experiences.

9) Regular work in the presence of a child... Constantly observing the work of adults, the child begins to imitate this in the game, and then he himself is included in the labor process as an assistant, and, finally, as an independent performer.

10) It is necessary to exclude the so-called surplus stimuli

from the life of a child:luxury, poverty, excessive delicacies, disorderlyfood, tobacco, alcohol.

11) Protect the child from contact with immoral people... The most important

The method of mastering knowledge and experience in a child is imitation. The instinct of imitation makes the child try to reproduce all the actions and deeds of the people around him. Reproduced means mastered. Only by the age of 7 does the child develop his own

moral grounds and can evaluate the behavior and actions of people around. Therefore, adults who love a child and wish him well should strictly control every step they take so as not to serve as an example of immoral behavior for him.

12) Parents need to pay attention to family chastity

relations and in this regard:

a) beware of too sensual "monkey" love for a child, whom they now and then excite with all kinds of immoderate physical caresses;

b) control the manifestation of mutual love in the presence of children. "The parents' matrimonial bed should be covered for children by a chaste secret, kept naturally and unstressed," wrote IA Ilyin.

Conclusions:

The family is the first instance on a child's path to life.

The family perceives and passes on cultural and moral values to its pupils. “The family is the primary bosom of human spirituality; and therefore the entire spiritual culture, and above all - the Motherland. "

Parents make up the child's first social environment. Parents are the models that the child is guided by on a daily basis. The personalities of the parents play a vital role in the life of every person.

The goal and motive of raising a child is a happy, fulfilling, creative, useful life to people, and therefore morally rich, the life of this child. Family education should be directed to the creation of such a life.

Only with the confidence of the child in parental love is it possible to correctly form the human mental world, it is possible to educate moral behavior.

The morality of a child is a necessary condition for his fundamental positions, the consistency of his behavior, respect for the dignity of the individual, spirituality.

Moral education itself is carried out through the formation of the child's moral needs and beliefs, moral feelings and emotions, moral knowledge about good and evil.

The tasks of the teacher are to explain to loving parents that their pedagogical literacy depends primarily on themselves, on their desire to understand the complex and difficult process of the formation and development of the child's personality; find ways and conditions for the formation of the child's morality.

Undoubtedly, work on moral education is responsible and difficult, positive results can be achieved only with the interaction of family and school, cooperation between parents and children themselves, therefore, the principles of interaction between adults and students are necessary in communication.

Interaction principles:

Mutual respect and trust.

Reasonable penalties and positive incentives are the path to success.

Believe in the creative powers of the child.

The main thing in raising a child- affection, praise, encouragement for good behavior and good deeds.

Parent's meeting decision:

Contribute to the creation of an educational environment based on the idea of self-improvement and self-development of a student.

The role of the family in the formation of the child's personality. The main ways and conditions for the formation of the morality of the child in the family. The history of the question of the influence of the family on the upbringing of a child has its roots in ancient times. Evstigneev Belyakov considered it necessary to rely on the positive in the family to use the traditions of family education.

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PAGE 19

MORAL EDUCATION OF CHILDREN

IN FAMILY.

From the history of problems e we ……………………………………....3

The essence of moral education a niya ……………………… .5

Family as a social institution and here ………………………….. 9

The relevance of interaction between kindergarten and e myi …… ..11

5. The role of the family in the formation of the personality of the child n ka …………… ..14

A child in a family …………………………………………….18

7. Conclusion ……………………………………………………..21

8. References………………………………………23

9. Appendix ………………………………………………24

The one who is abandoned by happiness will be

Who was poorly brought up as a child.

The green shoot is easy to straighten,

One fire will fix a dry branch.

Saadi.

1. From the history of the problem.

The history of the question of the influence of the family on the upbringing of a child has its roots in ancient times. Apart from teachers, he excited the minds of many outstanding people of different eras and peoples. The problem of moral education remains very urgent today. The burden of difficulties that we have inherited is very heavy. The end of the second millennium was marked by environmental disasters, entailing a violation of the ecological balance in the physical and moral health of people. The horrible manifestations of social and economic cataclysms are the increased juvenile delinquency, blossoming lush and, like ambrosia, an intractable drug addiction. The consequence or cause of this is lack of spirituality, revaluation of values, loss of moral guidelines of the younger generation and, consequently, of society as a whole.

Child and society, family and society, child and family. These closely related concepts can be arranged in the following sequence: family - child - society. The child grew up, became a conscientious member of society, created a family in which children were born again ... From this we can conclude that the moral health of our society depends on how moral, kind and decent our children are.

Social, social, moral difficulties in each time period of history have their own characteristics. This prompts philosophers, psychologists, teachers of a particular historical period to consider this problem from the point of view that reflects these features to a greater extent. Of course, the points of view did not always coincide and, moreover, they were often diametrically opposed. V. Titarenko in the article "Family education, its specificity and necessity" notes: "As for the family, its role was questioned by a number of representatives of social thought in the past (Plato, Hegel, T. Campanella, C. Fourier ...), and even now there is such an opinion. " In our country, in any case, views on family education have long been controversial. The foundations of morality, argued L.N. Tolstoy and S.A. Rachinsky, K. D. Ushinsky and P.F. Kapterev, other teachers, were laid in family education, and the main task of the school is to educate the student. Education is effective if there is continuity between the past, present and future. It is this connection that the family provides. The goodwill and conscience of a person is awakened in a supportive family environment.

The issue was solved in a fundamentally different way after the revolution. The task of forming a person of a new type required a "break" with the family "conservative" upbringing, which caused anxiety. N.I. Bukharin said that it was necessary "to destroy the old relations in the family organization" and to lead "a slow digging under the most conservative stronghold of all the abominations of the old regime."

In the same years, a second strategy was determined in relation to family education. S.T. Shatsky, P.P. Blonsky, N.N. Iordansky, A.V. Evstigneev-Belyakov considered it necessary to rely on the positive in the family, to use the traditions of family education ... It is necessary, this group of teachers argued, to use the diligence, warmth and cordiality of family relationships for educational purposes ...

But, despite the existence of this point of view, a tendency was gaining strength, according to which it was necessary to snatch a child out of the family and raise him in specially created institutions - communal schools, children's towns, etc.

In the 50-60s, this idea was revived again. The boarding schools were supposed to rid the children of the remnants of the Soviet family. They were designed to protect the child from disagreements, family desire for hoarding to the detriment of public interests, selfish calculations and simple frivolity. It was planned to bring the number of children in boarding schools to two and a half million by 1980. It was supposed to ensure that every family would have the opportunity to support children and adolescents in children's institutions free of charge.

In the 60s V.A. Sukhomlinsky enters into a desperate struggle with the pedagogical approach to family education that has been preserved since the 30s. The father and mother are the greatest authorities for the child. There is a deep connection between generations, the scientist wrote, a child is one of the links in a chain stretching for centuries, and its breaking is a grave tragedy that inevitably leads to the disintegration of moral principles. The merit of V.A. Sukhomlinsky in the return to universal human values. He was the first in Soviet pedagogy to turn to the processes of a child's spiritual life, the need and value of empathy, sympathy, and the creation of the necessary conditions for the educational activities of parents and teachers.

2. The essence of moral education.

From the "Dictionary of the Russian language" S.I. Ozhegova:

Education - behavioral skills instilled by the family, school, environment and manifested in public life;

Morality - the rules that determine behavior, spiritual and mental qualities necessary for a person in society, as well as the implementation of these rules, behavior;

Morality is the rule of morality, as well as morality itself.

What is moral education?

V.A. Sukhomlinsky notes that upbringing is the gradual enrichment of a child with knowledge, skills, experience, it is the development of the mind and the formation of an attitude towards good and evil, preparation for the fight against everything that goes against the moral foundations of society. According to V.A. Sukhomlinsky, the essence of the process of moral education is that moral ideas become the property of every pupil, turn into norms and rules of behavior. The main content of the moral education of V.A. Sukhomlinsky considered the formation of such personality traits as ideological, humanism, citizenship, responsibility, hard work, nobility and the ability to manage oneself.

The moral values, guidelines and beliefs of the individual are contained in the family. The family is a special kind of collective that plays a basic, long-term and most important role in upbringing.

The outstanding philosopher V.V. Rozanov noted "... only a family, only she alone can bring up in children the most essential aspects of culture, instill in its most spiritualized, ethereal particles ..."

"The spiritual atmosphere of a healthy family is designed to instill in a child the need for pure love, a tendency for courageous sincerity and the ability to calm and dignified discipline," wrote the philosopher I.A. Ilyin.

Researcher of the problem of moral education of children in the family S.I. Varyukhina notes that "among many valuable human qualities, kindness is the main indicator of the development of the human in a person ...". The notion of a "kind person" is a very complex one. It includes a variety of qualities that have long been valued by people. A kind person can be called a person who has developed love for the Motherland, people living nearby, an active desire to do good, the ability to self-denial for the good of others, honesty, conscientiousness, a correct understanding of the meaning of life and happiness, a sense of duty, justice, diligence. " These are all concepts of morality.

"What should be brought up in our children from early childhood, what constitutes the moral world of a child?" - asks S.I. Varyukhina gives such a classification.

The moral consciousness of a person, or the moral world of a person, includes three levels:

motivational and incentive;
emotional and sensual;
rational, or mental.

Each of these levels consists of elements that make up the essence of the moral world of man.

The motivational-incentive level contains the motives of actions, moral needs and beliefs. Moral education is correct only when it is based on the motivation of children to develop, when the child himself is active in his moral development, that is, when he himself wants to be good. This level is the most important, it is here that the origins of human behavior are rooted, condemned or approved by people and society, bringing good or evil, benefit or harm.

The sensory-emotional level consists of moral feelings and emotions. Emotions are known to be positive (joy, gratitude, tenderness, love, admiration, etc.) and negative (anger, envy, anger, resentment, hatred, etc.).

Emotions must be ennobled, cultivated - in a word - educated. Moral feelings - responsiveness, empathy, compassion, empathy, pity - are directly related to emotions. These feelings are acquired by a person as a result of upbringing and are the most important components of kindness. Without moral feelings, a good person will not take place.

The Czech teacher M. Klimova - Fyugnerova notes: “The parental home takes the first place in the formation and cultivation of feelings. Nothing can replace it. A home for a child is a school of preparation for life. Love, justice, tolerance not only for children, but also for all other family members should reign in the house. Cultivating feelings includes cultivating empathy. Developing this feeling requires parenting support - not just by word, but by example. A child should see how we show our love for our neighbor in practice ... Compassion is one of the wonderful human qualities, because it is an expression of humanity. "

Feelings are the driving force behind striving for a goal. If a person loves someone, he wants to bring him joy.

Feelings are a source of inspiration, joy, enthusiasm in interesting work.

Feelings are a source of strength. Love for a person, for example, can lead to selfless labor, to courage, heroism, fearlessness.

Feelings are effective helpers of upbringing. Prohibition, mentoring, moralizing are far from being as intelligible as cordiality, sincerity and affection. Cold severity in upbringing causes alienation in the child, which can develop into pretense, hypocrisy and deception.

The rational, or mental, level contains moral knowledge - concepts of the meaning of life and happiness, good and evil, honor, dignity, duty. In addition to concepts, moral knowledge also includes principles, ideals, norms of behavior, moral assessments.

“Only that person becomes a real person,” wrote V.A. Sukhomlinsky, - whoever has noble desires in his soul, which stimulate behavior, give rise to passions and actions ... As many actions as possible, prompted by noble desires, aspirations of the individual for a moral ideal - this is one of the golden rules of raising children. "

What is need in general? Need is the desire to replenish what is missing in the body for its normal existence. For a child's moral need to arise, a moral environment is necessary. Such an environment should be the kind world of a family or other environment.

All elements of moral needs are maximally saturated with feelings and emotions. To educate a child's moral needs, you need to know what elements they consist of.

Moral needs begin with responsiveness, which we understand as a person's ability to understand another's predicament or condition. A responsive person is usually called empathetic, warm-hearted. Responsiveness is a whole spectrum of feelings - empathy, compassion, empathy. It is necessary to cultivate responsiveness in a child even before he develops ideas about good, evil, duty and other concepts.
Another important element of moral needs is a moral attitude, which can be formulated as follows: "Do not harm anyone, but bring maximum benefit." It needs to be formed in the mind of the child from the time when he begins to speak. Thanks to this attitude, the child will always strive for good, inherent egoism or egocentrism is overcome in him. Generally, the moral attitude can be defined as love for people, nature. As consciousness develops, it develops into love for the Motherland, for its people.
And the last, important structural element of moral needs is the ability for active kindness and intransigence to all manifestations of evil. The effectiveness of good is successfully formed in children by all the examples of the life of an adult family environment, and therefore it is important that the latter does not diverge from word to deed. Nothing does more harm to the education of kindness than the discrepancy between the lifestyle of adults and their verbal instructions. This leads to disappointment in children, distrust, ridicule, cynicism.

S.I. Varyukhina also notes that one of the central concepts of the human moral world is conscience. Conscience is a person's ability to self-control, self-esteem based on public moral assessments. Conscience primordially means knowledge of general information about human behavior, its norms, principles, the essence of a person, etc. You need to start forming a conscience by fostering a sense of shame in your child.

The next stage in the formation of conscience should coincide with the development of concepts such as moral duty and responsibility. Moral duty, responsibility and conscience have one quality in common - the feeling of guilt in case of failure to fulfill any obligations. A child's awareness of the essence of the concept of "conscience" is prepared by the totality of moral family education. And moral needs play an important role here, since remorse is especially acute when there is injustice towards a person, when you realize that you have caused harm to someone, harm, that the person is bad and you are to blame.

The primary task of parents is to bring up in their children a deep, reliable understanding of conscience, so that it becomes a feeling, a particle of the spiritual world.

These are the elements of moral need. Knowing them will help parents raise their children as kind, happy children who bring benefit to society. The moral needs of a person are closely related to moral feelings, which are also the motives of human behavior. This is compassion, empathy, selflessness ...

Raising developed moral needs is the main task of parents. The task is quite feasible. What is needed for its successful solution?

Parents should be aware of the importance of this task.
To develop these moral needs in themselves, since improvement continues throughout human life. Parents who would like to raise their child not spontaneously, but consciously, should begin the analysis of their child's upbringing with an analysis of themselves, with an analysis of the characteristics of their own personality.
Know how, by what methods to form moral needs in children.

3. Family as a social institution.

Childhood years are the most important in a person's life. And how they pass depends on adults - parents, educators.

The family is traditionally the main educational institution. What the child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of the family as an institution of upbringing is due to the fact that the child is in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of its impact on the personality, none of the institutions of upbringing can compare with the family. It lays the foundations of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school, he is already more than half formed as a person.

What is a family for a modern person? "Dictionary of the Russian language" S.I. Ozhegova tells us that a family is a group of relatives living together (husband and wife, parents with children). Thus, the family is a classic example of a simple social institution. A.G. Kharchev defines a family as an association of people based on marriage and consanguinity, linked by a common life and mutual responsibility.

As you know, the family is a more complex system of relations than marriage, since it can unite not only spouses, but also their children, as well as other relatives. The family as a social institution emerged with the formation of society. The process of family formation and functioning is conditioned by value-normative regulators. These values, norms and sanctions represent the historically changing form of the relationship between husband and wife, accepted in a given society, through which they regulate and sanction their sexual life and establish their marital, parental and other kinship rights and obligations.

The main, first function of the family, as follows from the definition of A.G. Kharcheva, is the reproductive function, that is, the biological reproduction of the population in the social plane and the satisfaction of the need for children in the personal plane.

The family also performs a number of other important social functions:

a) educational - socialization of the younger generation, maintenance of the cultural reproduction of society;

b) household - maintaining the physical health of members of society, caring for children and elderly family members;

c) economic - receiving material resources of some family members for others, economic support for minors and disabled members of society;

d) the sphere of primary social control - moral regulation of the behavior of family members in various spheres of life, as well as regulation of responsibility and obligations in relations between spouses, parents and children, etc .;

e) spiritual communication - the development of the personalities of family members, spiritual mutual enrichment;

f) social status - the provision of a certain social status to family members;

g) leisure - the organization of rational leisure, mutual enrichment of interests;

h) emotional - receiving psychological protection of individuals.

For understanding the family as a social institution, the analysis of role relationships in the family is of great importance. The family role is one of the types of social roles of a person in society. Family roles are determined by the place and functions of the individual in the family group. And they are primarily subdivided into matrimonial (wife, husband), parental (mother, father), children (son, daughter, brother, sister), intergenerational and intragenerational (grandfather, grandmother, older, younger), etc. In modern society, there is a process of weakening the family as a social institution, a change in its social functions, non-role family relationships. The family is losing its leading position in the socialization of individuals, in the organization of leisure and other important functions. This significantly changed the nature of the functioning of the family and entailed a number of positive and negative consequences for society.

So is a family needed in modern society? Or has the time come when a man and a woman should live separately? Is a woman's purpose to raise children on her own without becoming dependent on a man? And a modern dad is one who meets with his child once a week, does not interfere with his upbringing, does not try to solve his problems, but brings only joy (visiting cafes, parks, shops with toys, etc.). Adults endure divorce more easily and enter new marriages, believing that this does not cause any pain to the children. What will our new generation be like, brought up not on age-old family traditions, but in such a free manner? Another serious problem, especially for our region, is the remote residence of the older generation (grandparents). Considering that travel to the central regions is limited, for children their grandparents who live somewhere thousands of kilometers away become not so close and dear. In reality, they are deprived of the opportunity to pass on their life experience to their children and grandchildren. And how our children lack affection! Who was the kindest before? Grandmother. Who could regret, give advice, read or tell a story? Grandmother. How little a child needs! But sometimes, in the crazy rhythm of modern life, parents cannot give a child and this is a minute of kindness and attention.

It is well known that the well-being of a child in a family is the basis of his versatile development. Unfortunately, out of 3,616 marriages registered daily in Russia, there are 1,534 divorces, as a result of which 1,288 children are left without one parent, 300 run away from home, 952 are registered with the juvenile affairs inspectorate. All this testifies to the mental health problems of the family. The main reasons for this situation are: parents' self-withdrawal from the educational function, their pedagogical incompetence. Also, the growing stratification of the population in Russia naturally affects the life and development of children: some receive more, not only material benefits, but also the care and attention of adults than others.

4. Relevance of interaction between kindergarten and family.

Today it is obvious: a child develops most successfully, being brought up in two institutions - a family and a preschool institution. The family (spiritually prosperous) provides an intimate-personal connection that the baby needs very much. Love of adults, lack of distance between a child and an adult, frequent bodily contacts, family traditions, customs and much more form the basis of a comfortable, prosperous background of upbringing. In a preschool institution, they not only free up the time of parents for work, study, not only help them understand their child, but also, most importantly, provide conditions for organizing a children's community. And every child needs this, since without a children's community there can be no full and, above all, social development - mastering ways of communicating with peers, knowing oneself through knowing the capabilities and characteristics of other children, forming an assessment and self-esteem.

Until recently, the number of preschool institutions in our country has constantly increased and an increasing number of preschool children were involved in public education. We were proud of the domestic system of preschool education. She also aroused admiration among foreign colleagues: bright buildings, built according to special designs, toys, equipment. Professionals worked according to scientifically grounded programs. The parental fees for kindergarten were negligible. The state almost completely took care of the upbringing and development of preschool children. The changes taking place in the state, society, and education impose new requirements on the nature and quality of relations between educational institutions and families. An important step towards understanding and enhancing the role of the family as a social and educational institution of society was the decision to develop family upbringing and education. In accordance with the law of the Russian Federation "On Education", parents are recognized as the first teachers of their child.

Positive changes that meet the interests of children take place where pedagogical collectives unite their professional efforts with the efforts of parents, help the families of pupils in their cultural and spiritual development, and contribute to strengthening mutual understanding between parents and children.

Positive results are obtained by those educational institutions where they deeply and systematically study the families of pupils, treat parents and children with delicacy and respect, know and make the most of the educational potential of the family, taking into account the educational system and the type of educational institution. There is a tendency towards active and purposeful work of pedagogical collectives on the revival of national traditions in family and social education. In the context of the democratization of education, the variability of its forms and content, for the first time, the educational needs of the family became significant. Now she is a social customer of differentiated, specialized education. The need for pedagogical diagnostics of the family, increasing its educational potential, pedagogical competence becomes obvious. Pedagogical teams of educational institutions and municipal education authorities realize today that the decline in morality, the growth of delinquency and other negative manifestations cannot be stopped without strengthening the connection with the family, increasing the responsibility of the family for raising a child.

Outstanding teachers of the past were convinced that the main educators of a child in preschool childhood are parents. But in order for them to properly educate their child, teachers must provide them with special manuals and didactic materials. Ya.A. Comenius, to help mothers, created the world's first children's encyclopedia, I.G. Pestalozzi - A Mother's Guide.

K. D. Ushinsky believed that parents should constantly read pedagogical literature. He emphasized the role of the mother, who is closest to the child, takes care of him from birth, subtly and deeply understands his individual characteristics.

DI. Pisarev argued that care for the aesthetic development of the child should begin in the family and as early as possible. Therefore, for mothers, he developed a special program with clearly formulated tasks for each age period and practical advice, which have not lost their significance today. These include recommendations for creating a developing environment at home "for joyful contemplation of beauty", as well as methods that would allow mothers in the process of tactful and delicate communication "not to teach children art, but to encourage them to enjoy the graceful." The special significance of D.I. Pisarev, like N.I. Novikov, gave the content a work of art. Both believed that one should not show children scenes of violence and aggression, and that it is necessary to protect them from any impressions that inspire fear and horror.

V.A. Sukhomlinsky emphasized that the tasks of education and development can be successfully solved only if the educational institution maintains contact with the family and involves it in its work. It was Sukhomlinsky who singled out and substantiated the principle of continuity and unity of social and family education, based on the relationship of trust and cooperation between teachers and parents. With the development of the system of public preschool education, the issues of working with the family organically fit into the orbit of the activities of kindergarten teachers and were presented as an independent section in the "Guide for kindergarten teachers" (1938, 1945). Thanks to the efforts of scientists and practitioners (N.F. Vinogradova, L.V. Zagik, S.K. Kaliev, V.K. Katyrlo, T.A. Markova, A.K. Menzhanova, O.N. Urbanskaya and others) the content, forms and methods of work of a kindergarten with a family were developed, as well as curricula of classes at popular universities of pedagogical knowledge for parents.

L.F. Ostrovskaya, which supplemented the traditional forms of work of a kindergarten with a family with business games. N.F. Vinogradova, G.N. Godina, L.V. Zagik and other famous educational scientists insisted on a variety of forms and methods of kindergarten work with parents. The leading role in this matter was assigned to the head of the kindergarten, since her duties include creating conditions for the development of all forms of work with the family.

Published in 1989, The Concept of Preschool Education (VV Davydov, VA Petrovsky and others) initiated the reform of preschool education. It stated that the family and the kindergarten, having their own special functions, cannot replace each other. Therefore, it is so important for successful upbringing to establish trusting business contact between a preschool educational institution and parents.

Preschool plays an important role in the development of the child. Here he receives an education, acquires the ability to interact with other children and adults, to organize his own activities. However, how effectively a child will acquire these skills depends on the family's attitude towards the preschool. Harmonious development of a child without the active participation of his parents is hardly possible.

5. The role of the family in the formation of the child's personality.

Modern science has numerous data showing that without prejudice to the development of the child's personality, it is impossible to abandon family education, since its strength and effectiveness is incomparable with any, even very qualified, upbringing in kindergarten and school. Thus, the role of the family in the upbringing and development of a child cannot be underestimated. The main feature of family upbringing is a special emotional microclimate, thanks to which a child develops an attitude towards himself, which determines his feelings of self-worth. At the same time, the family plays an important role in the influence of value orientations, on the worldview of the child as a whole, his behavior in various spheres of social life. It is also known that it is the example of parents and their personal qualities that largely determine the effectiveness of the upbringing function of the family.

In the studies of T.A. Markova systematized the requests that determine the strength and resilience of family education:

1) upbringing in a family is characterized by a deep emotional, intimate character. The effectiveness of family education is largely determined by the emotional bonds that bind all family members, thanks to which children feel protected from the unknown and the danger of the world around them. Thus, the most important factor in the influence of the family on the personality of the child is the atmosphere of family emotional ties, emotional closeness between family members. The greatest significance of this factor for the formation of the personality of a child in preschool age. A small child especially needs the love and affection of his parents, he has a great need for communication with adults, which is most fully satisfied in the family: the child's love for his parents, unlimited trust in them make him especially susceptible to the moral attitudes and requirements of the mother and father, determine strength impact on the child by their example. The family is called the "school of the senses." In the family, in communication with parents, brothers and sisters, the child develops a socially valuable ability to empathize. The love of those close to the child, their care for him evoke a response from him. Thus, starting at an early age, an emotional foundation is laid on which more complex social feelings will be built in the future. Home warmth is one of the conditions for a happy childhood.

2) Upbringing in a family is distinguished by the constancy and duration of the educational influences of the mother, father, and other family members in a wide variety of life situations, their repetition from day to day. Such constancy of educational influences is favorable for the developing nervous system of the child, which develops responses to external stimuli. The family brings up not only when the parents consciously carry out their educational activities: they specially teach the child certain skills and abilities, give knowledge, ideas, guide behavior, etc.; the child is also influenced by the peculiarities of life, the way of life of the family, its traditions, the nature of the relationship of its members, their moral qualities, needs, interests. The family for the preschooler is the main link between him and the wider social environment.

3) The family has objective opportunities to include a child from the first years of life in a variety of activities (household, labor, economic, educational in relation to other family members and himself).

The importance of the family in the formation of collectivist qualities in a child is great. Collectivism in the family manifests itself as a natural feeling. The disinterested care of each family member for its other members, the willingness to sacrifice their own interests for the good of their relatives are the characteristic features of truly family relationships, which have a strong impact on the moral formation of the child's personality. However, the mere presence of kindred feelings that make up a family does not guarantee selfishness from the development of a child. The child in the family is influenced by other factors, on which the level of his moral upbringing depends. The expression "children are the mirror of the family", for all its seeming banality, surprisingly accurately conveys the meaning of a child's orientation towards those spiritual and moral values that his family professes. Each family has its own ideas about good and evil, its own priorities and moral values: in one, kindness, mercy, humanity are paramount, in others, on the contrary, the cult of cruelty reigns. Parents in every possible way stimulate and encourage such actions, actions, ways of behavior that correspond to their ideas about what is good and what is bad.

To this day, there are many difficult problems in matters of family and family education. It is important to find out the origins of such phenomena as alcoholism, drunkenness, drug addiction; the spread in some families of the desire for hoarding, unfair attitude to production work, concern for the benefits for their families to the detriment of the state, which has a detrimental effect on the emerging personality of the preschooler. A preschool teacher is obliged to influence parents, to form family members' responsibility for the correct upbringing of children from the first years of their life. At the present time, an individual, differentiated approach to families of different types continues to be an urgent task, taking care not to lose sight of and influence of preschool specialists families that are not only difficult, but also not entirely successful in some specific, but important issues. ... The most common is a single-generation family in which mother, father and their children live together. There is a positive side to this: young families get used to greater independence, and hence responsibility; fewer conflicts, disagreements of views that complicate family relationships when living together. But at the same time, during a separate life, family ties are often lost - traditions that unite adults and children.

In a multi-generational family, mother, father, children and representatives of the older generation - grandmother, grandfather - live together. If this is a close-knit family, then an opportunity for diversified communication and mutual influence is created, life is facilitated: the elders help in raising children, in caring for them. However, even with good relationships, there are difficulties. Nevertheless, regardless of whether grandparents, their children and grandchildren live together or apart, preschoolers develop the ability and desire to take care of their elders, to provide assistance.

Single-parent families represent a special group. The reasons for this social phenomenon are different, most often it is divorce, while, as a rule, the child remains with the mother. Restraint, kindness, exactingness in such families in relation to the child is especially necessary. The mistake is made by those mothers and relatives who, pitying the child left by the father, unnecessarily pamper him, indulge unreasonable desires. A dramatic situation is often observed in a broken family in older preschool boys. They suffer due to the fact that there is no young man in the family - a father, there is no example to follow. Girls, on the other hand, are more worried about parting with their father at a younger preschool age. This is due to the loss of emotional contact with him.

Our reality is characterized by the presence of families with one child. The concern of teachers is connected with the fact that these children do not form indifference to others, selfishness, that is, those traits that can develop in families with a large number of adults around the child.

Families with two or more children create the most favorable conditions for the diversified development of boys and girls. In large families, the success of upbringing is associated with the personal example of the father and mother, who are role models, their ability to reasonably organize the life and activities of children.

For a modern family, the problem of the style of relations between family members is relevant. There are two opposite types of family education - authoritarian and democratic.

The authoritarian style in relations between spouses is characterized by the imperiousness of the parents (more often the father). In such families there is no friendly team, adults do not take into account the individuality of the child, with his age characteristics, interests and desires. In such families, blind obedience is often based on the fear of being punished, and even if a number of educational tasks seem to be well solved, for example, the development of thinking, memory, musicality, work skills and habits in children, these children do not show independence, initiative, and the beginning of creativity.

In a democratic style of family education, parents are the organizers of the life and activities of the entire family team. The relationship between family members is characterized by mutual love and respect, attention and care of adults and children for each other. In families of this type, children become active participants in the life of the family, its work, and rest very early. Parents try to get to know their children better, to find out the reasons for their good and bad deeds. The democratic style of family education gives the greatest effect in the formation of active obedience and conscious discipline in children, moral, conscious interest in family affairs, in the events of the surrounding social life. The children develop initiative, resourcefulness, the beginning of a creative approach when performing the assigned task, in the game, etc. At the same time, parents enjoy authority with children. Most parents understand the importance of parenting authority. But not everyone knows how to gain authority from a child. Parental authority rests on each other's support, respect, and the elevation of everyone's personality. In the eyes of children, parental authority is based on good behavior. The formation of a child's personality is determined by the entire lifestyle of the family. A.S. Makarenko called him "the general tone of the family." It affects the child independently of the father and mother, and sometimes even in spite of them. The general tone of the family is created by the personality of the parents, their civilian: ideological and political consciousness, attitude to social work, as well as to domestic work aimed at meeting the needs of all members of the family team. In a family where the father and mother are equally respectful and caring towards each other, their parents, children, the child sees examples of a kind attitude towards people. From an early age, the baby lives in an atmosphere of positive attitude towards others, love, friendship, trust, mutual understanding. In the practice of family education, such a mistake is widespread when parents, realizing that they have acted wrong, do not admit this to their children under the pretext of “not losing authority”.

A.S. Makarenko, analyzing family upbringing, deduced several types of false authority of parents, which are also found in modern families:

4. The authority of pedantry. In such a family, parents, trying to maintain a distance between themselves and the child, talk to him with emphasized dryness, bored, read long lectures and edifications on any occasion. As a result, a weak-willed, lack of initiative, dependent person with a quarrelsome character grows up.

5. The authority of swagger. Not what they “know” is cultivated, but what they “have”, the cult of money and connections reigns, the true and false values are mixed up. A child in such a family develops the psychology of a consumer, he grows up to be a braggart, a white-handed woman, a calculating businessman and a loafer.

Thus, we can say that authority is one of the important conditions for family education. The family influences the formation of the child's personality not only by the direct influence of its adult members, but also by the whole way of life.

6. The main ways and conditions for the formation of morality

A child in the family.

Based on the works of teachers V.A. Sukhomlinsky, S.I. Varyukhina, M. Klimova-Fugnerova and other researchers, we will highlight the following methods and conditions for the formation of moral needs (moral education of a child in a family).

1. An atmosphere of love.

A person deprived of this feeling is not able to respect his loved ones, fellow citizens, the Motherland, to do good to people. The atmosphere of love and heartfelt affection, sensitivity, caring of family members for each other has a strong influence on the child's psyche, gives a wide scope for the manifestation of the child's feelings, the formation and implementation of his moral needs. American psychologist James Dobson notes: “We all really need to not only belong to a separate group of people busy with their own affairs and live in the same house, but also to feel the closeness of loved ones, to breathe the general atmosphere of a family that is aware of its individuality and uniqueness , its own special character, its traditions ”.

At the same time P. Lesgaft argued that blind unreasonable maternal love "killing a child is worse than a cane" makes a person an immoral consumer.

2. An atmosphere of sincerity.

“Parents ... should not lie to their children, in any important, significant life circumstances. Every lie, every deception, every simulation ... the child notices with extreme acuteness and speed; and, having noticed, falls into embarrassment, temptation and suspicion. If a child cannot be told something, then it is always better to honestly and directly refuse to answer or draw a certain line in information, than to invent nonsense and then get entangled in it or than lie and deceive and then be exposed by childish discernment. And you shouldn't say: “It's too early for you to know”, or “You won't understand it anyway”; such answers only irritate curiosity and pride in the child's soul. Better to answer like this: “I have no right to tell you this; every person is obliged to keep known secrets, and it is indelicate and immodest to inquire about other people's secrets. " This does not violate the straightforwardness and sincerity, and a concrete lesson of duty, discipline and delicacy is given ... ".

3. Clarification. Impact by word.

V.A. Sukhomlinsky noted that the word should be applied specifically to a specific person, the word should be meaningful, have a deep meaning and emotional coloring. For a word to educate, it must leave a mark in the thoughts and soul of the pupil, and for this it is necessary to learn to delve into the meaning of words. Only then can we count on emotional impact. The educator must in a timely manner move from specific facts, events, phenomena to the disclosure of generalized truths, principles of behavior. Children love to reason, but parents often suppress this reasoning, emphasizing their immaturity, explaining that they are still small, and therefore it is too early for them to express their opinions. But it is in the course of this reasoning that children comprehend moral concepts.

What is the right way to talk to a child? It's all about knowing what to say and how to say.

First, you don't have to tell your child what he knows very well without us. It is pointless.

Secondly, we need to think about the tone and manner of our conversation in order to avoid "reprimands" and "boring sermons." Neither one nor the other sinks into the soul of a child.

Thirdly, we need to think over how to connect our conversation with life, what practical result we want to achieve.

And the content, and the tone, and the place, and the timing of the conversation - everything is important. In a word, we convince, but a belief cannot exist without its realization. This is the skill of the educator (parent) so that a conversation with a child evokes in the latter an echo of his own thoughts and experiences, prompting him to be active. “The wealth of spiritual life begins where noble thought and moral feeling, merging into one, live in a highly moral deed,” wrote V.A. Sukhomlinsky.

4. The big mistake is reproaches.

Some reproach the child that he is already big, but does not study well, others reproach both age and physical strength. The right thing to do is done by those parents who make their children proud of their adulthood, encourage and instill confidence in the possibility of success. What is the harm of reproaches? The main evil is that such reproaches cause disbelief in oneself, and disbelief relaxes the will and paralyzes the soul, interfering with making independent decisions in overcoming difficulties.

5. The last resort is punishment.

6. Censure.

The educational power of censure depends on the moral qualities and tact of the educator. One must be able, without offending the child, to give a fair, although perhaps harsh assessment of his actions. The art of censure consists in a wise combination of strictness and kindness. It is very important that the child in the censure of an adult feels not only severity, but also self-care.

7. A very important method is prohibition.

It prevents many flaws in behavior, teaches children to reasonably relate to their desires. Children have a lot of desires, but all of them are impossible and do not need to be satisfied. “If the elders strive to satisfy any desire of the child, then a capricious creature grows up, a slave to whims and a tyrant of neighbors. The upbringing of desires is the subtlest filigree work of a "gardener" - an educator, wise and decisive, sensitive and ruthless. From childhood, you need to teach a person to manage their desires, to relate correctly to conceptsyou can, you must, you can't.Thus, parental indulgence is very harmful. “… The art of commanding and prohibiting… is not easy. But in healthy and happy families it always blooms ”- I.А. Ilyin.

8. The need to educate feelings.

This means both word and deed to cause experiences, awaken feelings, deliberately creating an appropriate situation or using a natural environment.

9. Regular work in the presence of a child.

Constantly observing the work of adults, the child begins to imitate this in the game, and then he himself is included in the labor process as an assistant, and, finally, as an independent performer.

10. Exclusion of surplus stimuli.

It is necessary to exclude the so-called surplus irritants from the child's life: luxury, poverty, excessive delicacies, indiscriminate food, tobacco, alcohol.

11. Protect the child from contact with immoral people.

The most important method of mastering knowledge and experience in a child is imitation. The instinct of imitation makes the child try to reproduce all the actions and deeds of the people around him. Reproduced means mastered. Only by the age of seven does a child develop his own moral foundations and can evaluate the behavior and actions of the people around him. Therefore, adults who love a child and wish him well should strictly control every step they take so as not to serve as an example of immoral behavior for him.

12. Parents need to pay attention to the chastity of family relationships and in this regard:

A) beware of too sensual "monkey" love for a child, whom they now and then excite with all kinds of immoderate physical caresses;

B) control the manifestation of mutual love in the presence of children. “The parents' matrimonial bed should be covered for children with a chaste secret, kept naturally and unstressed,” wrote I.A. Ilyin.

7. Conclusion.

Considering all of the above, the following conclusions can be drawn:

The family is the first instance on a child's path to life.

The family perceives and passes on cultural and moral values to its pupils. “The family is the primary bosom of human spirituality; and therefore the entire spiritual culture, and, above all, the Motherland. "

Parents make up the child's first social environment. Parents are the models that the child is guided by on a daily basis. The personalities of the parents play an essential role in the life of every person.

The goal and motive of raising a child is a happy, fulfilling, creative, useful life to people, and therefore morally rich, the life of this child. Family education should be directed to the creation of such a life.

Only with the confidence of the child in parental love is it possible to correctly form the human mental world, it is possible to educate moral behavior.

The morality of a child is a necessary condition for his fundamental positions, the consistency of his behavior, respect for the dignity of the individual, spirituality.

Moral education itself is carried out through the formation of the child's moral needs and beliefs, moral feelings and emotions, moral knowledge about good and evil.

The tasks of the teacher are to explain to loving parents that their pedagogical literacy depends, first of all, on themselves, on their desire to understand the complex and difficult process of the formation and development of a personality; indicate the ways and conditions for the formation of the child's morality.

Bibliography.

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ANNEX 1

Group parent meeting on the topic

"Moral and volitional preparation of children for school in the family"

Meeting preparation and holding plan:

1. Visiting family. Purpose: to study the conditions created for the preparation of children for school.

During the visit, the teacher learns:

whether there is a regime for the child at home and how it is performed;
is there a place for games and activities, is it comfortable enough for the child;
in what order the toys are stored;
what responsibilities the child has at home;
what kind of character they are - episodic or permanent;
what goals, motives of labor put forward by the parents in front of the child;
Do parents pay attention to the quality and result of work;
whether joint work, rest, walks, games are organized in the family, how are they organized.

In a conversation with parents, the teacher finds out how the parents prepare the child for school; what they pay attention to first of all; how to explain to the child the need to study at school; what difficulties parents are experiencing; what kind of help they would like to receive from kindergarten in preparing their child for school.

2. Design of the stand on the themes "Soon to school", "Moral and volitional preparation of children for school in the family."

3. Exhibition design: literature for parents on preparing children for school; children's literature about school; board games that develop perseverance, perseverance, ingenuity; homemade toys made by children with their parents.

4. Design of a folder-transfer on the theme "For the future student".

APPENDIX 2

Joint forms of work

kindergarten and family.

Album "This is what I am"

PURPOSE. Formation in the child of a sense of unity with parents and peers. Arouse positive emotions.

An album is created for each child, which is drawn up together with the parents. The album includes sections:

this is me…
my mom and dad…
our friendly family ...
my birthday…
I like…
I do not like…
my friends…
I want to…
my favorite book…
my favorite animal…
my favorite holiday ...
i play ...
my house ... Etc.

These sections can be very different, the child can choose himself, an adult can help. You can invite the child to choose photos for each section, as well as use children's drawings, applications, statements, etc.

This kind of work is very interesting for children. Loving parents interested in the harmonious upbringing and development of their children can keep such an album within their family. Such an emotionally intense pastime with a child leaves a good memory for many years.

APPENDIX 3

"TREE OF GOOD DEEDS"

In families with two or more children, I suggest making a "tree of good deeds" together with the children. Stick pictures of children on the tree. For every good deed, stick a piece of paper to the photo. When the whole photo is in the leaflets, the child should expect some kind of surprise: a long-awaited chocolate or toy, a trip to the zoo, inviting friends to visit, etc. Very quickly, you will see changes in your child: hardworking, polite, thrifty, kind, caring, etc.

APPENDIX 4

The use of artistic words in work with parents.

Parents and caregivers.

For very young children

It's hard to live without a miracle

May in every holiday

Miracle will be everywhere:

In the warm sun ray

In a puddle and a drop.

He knows how to feel

Although small for now,

Smart and smart

Kind man.

All of us educators

Responsible for him.

So that adults can also

It's a miracle to be surprised

Needed by teachers

Try very hard.

Give a holiday

Meeting with a kind fairy tale,

Believe that endeavor

Will not be in vain.

If children in childhood

Warmed with kindness,

Worthy will grow

Citizens of the planet!

L. Chadova.

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The system of communist education of the younger generation in socialist society is based on the organic connection between family and social (mainly school) education.

Moral education and personal development in the family.

The importance of the family in the moral upbringing and development of the child is determined primarily by the fact that it is the first social group that actively influences the formation of the personality. In the family, the natural biological and social ties of parents and children are intertwined. These connections are very important, since they determine the characteristics of the development of the psyche and the primary socialization of children at the earliest stage of their development.

Being one of the most important factors of social impact, a specific social "microenvironment", the family has an impact on the whole mental development of the child. Through the "family microenvironment" with its characteristics, the child assimilates the moral experience of the parents and thereby the social experience and knowledge accumulated by previous generations. Moral relations in the family are a source of fostering truly human relations between people. They develop in children and adolescents the ability to correlate their actions and desires with the interests of other people, to take care of them, etc.

The moral formation of a teenager's personality depends on the level of social orientation of the family team. With a high level of development of public interests in the family, the unity of moral knowledge and personal norms of behavior of parents, stable positive moral convictions are formed in children. Otherwise, the family can become a source of the appearance in adolescents of various negative qualities (egotism, hypocrisy, greed), the ability to mask the real motives of their actions. Learning the norms of behavior of parents, children begin to build their relationships with close people in accordance with them, and then transfer the nature of these relationships to the people around them, teachers, comrades, neighbors.

Personal development depends both on the objective content of the social and moral experience of the family, and, to a large extent, on how the child learns and comprehends this experience: which of the perceived facts and circumstances of family life is accepted, what is rejected and why. All this depends on the internal conditions of the child's development, on the achieved level of mental and moral development, on the focus, the nature of the needs and interests dominating at a particular moment, personal self-esteem, as well as on the subjective assessment of a specific life situation, which may not coincide with its actual content. ...

The result of the influence of the family on the formation of the personality is ultimately determined by the activity of the child's consciousness and will and is not of an inevitable mechanical nature. An example is the fact that socially valuable individuals are formed in the so-called difficult families. The immediate highly moral social environment, primarily the school collective, the example of adults, etc., are often the force that opposes the negative influence of the family environment.

Moral education in the family is a complex socio-pedagogical process. It includes the influence of the entire "atmosphere", "microclimate" of family life on the formation of the child's personality.

To find out the specific views and ideas of parents about the goal of moral education, a survey was conducted of 380 parents of adolescent students in city schools (Moscow, Gorky, Odessa, Pavlovsky Posad, Moscow Region) using a special questionnaire "My son (daughter) today and in 10 years." most parents are characterized by an understanding of the social goals of upbringing, the desire to educate their children in accordance with the ideals that embody the image of a person with communist qualities. Only in a small number of families, the parents had no idea and never thought about who they wanted to raise, what qualities of the child they wanted to form.

Parents named about 50 signs of the concepts of "educated person". These signs give an idea of their moral ideal, the "model-image" of a good person, for the sake of whom the father and mother of their child live and raise, and in this they find the meaning of their life. Moreover, 30 signs relate to the characteristics of a person's moral image, his behavior in public and private life, 20 signs determine the moral qualities of a person in connection with his attitude to work, choice of profession, all-round development, determining his place in public life, serving the Motherland and the people.

When comparing the ideals of fathers and mothers, their features are revealed. The ideals of mothers embody socially significant positive traits and personality traits, in which the idea of how a person should be is clearly manifested: humane, fair, kind, caring, disciplined, hardworking, a good comrade, etc. The ideals of the fathers are clearer than in the ideals of mothers, there is a connection between moral qualities and the formation of the life position of a person who knows how to correctly correlate personal and social interests. Their ideals express the moral side of the question of who a son or daughter should be. And parents associate his decision with the upbringing of a moral position in children to be useful to society, with the all-round development of abilities, with preparation for independent work, mental and physical.

Thus, the ideals of the parents basically coincide with the social ones. Therefore, we can say that family education takes into account the social requirements of the individual.

The possibility of an upbringing influence on a child is already inherent in the very nature of the attitude of parents to children, the essence of which lies in the reasonable guardianship, the conscious care of the older generation for the younger. The father and mother show care, attention, affection for their child, protect them from life's hardships and difficulties, but at the same time they have the right and are obliged to demand from him an account of his behavior. An adult for a child is always the bearer of the social principle in life, which naturally creates a certain "distance" in the nature of the relationship between parents and children. This "distance" exists objectively, as a difference in social, life experience, and has a tendency to diminish on the way from childhood to maturity.

The requirements of parents, regardless of their specific content, which has a narrow family meaning or deep social meaning, is one of the central pivotal moments underlying the relationship between parents and children.

There are connections of various nature between the requirements of parents and the characteristics of the relationship between parents and children. So, for example, a pedagogically expedient requirement contributes to the formation of a type of attitude in which activity and the ability to “slow down” oneself at the right moment are brought up. Failure to comply with a single form of requirements often leads to the formation of an unstable type of relationship. Severe pedantic orders (demands-prohibitions) often correspond to an "authoritarian attitude" aimed at the complete subordination of the child without taking into account his interests, age and individual characteristics. Each of the named types of dependence characterizes the ratio of two dialectically interrelated sides: respect for the personality of the pupil and exactingness towards him (pedagogical principle).

The requirements of the parents are realized in their conscious educational activities with the help of persuasion, the organization of a certain way of life and activities of the child, etc. This is a direct way of influence of the educator on the pupils. It largely depends on indirect influences on the child through the personal example of the parents.

The personal example of parents is the most important means of influencing the moral upbringing of a child. Its educational value is based on the propensity to imitate inherent in childhood. Lacking sufficient knowledge and great life experience, the child often copies adults, imitates their actions. The nature of the parents' moral relations, the degree of their mutual consent, attention, sensitivity and respect, ways of solving various life situations, the tone and nature of conversations - all this is perceived by the child and becomes a model for his behavior.

The child's direct experience, acquired in the family, at a young age sometimes becomes the only criterion for attitudes towards people and the world around them. As the child develops, imitation becomes more and more conscious, which is determined by his own views and judgments. So, for example, in adolescence, a child may already critically assess the actions of parents and not accept everything for himself as a model of behavior or attitude towards other people.

The strength of the parent's educational example is determined by their authority. There is an opinion that parents may not always be authoritative for children, because a certain category of parents lags behind them in the level of education. One cannot unconditionally agree with this. Even if we admit that there is a similar difference in the cultural and educational level, then children in any case do not have the rich life experience that their parents have.

From the point of view of assessing the social significance of an individual, all points are important, but especially - a person's attitude to other people and to work. Hence, the criterion for the moral authority of parents is, first of all, their attitude to the family, children, their industrial and social work. Justice, honesty, consciousness and a sense of responsibility, duty, benevolence and respect for people are the most important moral qualities worthy of an example. Therefore, each parent can be such an example for his child, if he himself aspires to this. Honest industrial and active social activities, highly moral behavior in everyday life, friendly, trusting relationships with the child are the basis of their authority.

A significant reason for the weakening of the authority of some part of the parents is that they do not take into account the peculiarities of the development of children, the novelty of the emerging relationship with the child, overly patronize, continue to adhere to old forms of relationship by inertia. In other families, on the contrary, regardless of the child's capabilities, they accelerate his development, adjust to the standard of an adult.

The study of the causes of conflict situations between parents and children revealed that the most significant of them are: misunderstanding of the interests of children, non-recognition by parents of their claims to independence and adulthood, "drill" in upbringing, despotism, the imposition of their will and opinion without taking into account the needs of the children themselves, unfair assessment of their behavior, tactless interference in their inner world, disrespect, underestimation of the increased pride and self-esteem. The named reasons, as a rule, are interrelated and appear in specific cases in aggregate, determining the wrong parenting position in relation to the child.

The sociological study of 380 families of urban schoolchildren, which was mentioned above, showed that the pedagogical position of parents, attitude to upbringing, as well as the personal qualities of parents as educators, are important in the moral formation of the child's personality: tact, understanding and knowledge of the child, fairness, adherence to principles and etc. Lack of unity in the educational influences on the child, violation of pedagogical principles (respect and exactingness), inability to control oneself, rudeness often lead to the emergence of imbalance, stubbornness and whims in children, to improper formation and development of their character. Therefore, raising the pedagogical culture of parents is the most important prerequisite for improving the process of moral education of children in the family.

Thus, depending on the specific family circumstances, the nature of the relationship between parents and children developing in the process communication and joint activities, the characteristics of family upbringing in children, certain habitual forms of attitudes towards other people, work, their duties, as well as stable methods of action (behavior and activity) are formed. A comparative analysis of the trends in the moral development of children in different groups of families indicates that the nature of the relationship between parents and children has a significant impact not only on the formation of certain moral qualities, but also largely determines the unity of the moral consciousness and behavior of the child.

Moral education at school.

School is the main link in the upbringing system of the younger generation. The decisions of the 25th Congress of the CPSU say that communist education presupposes the constant improvement of public education and vocational training. The school is faced with important tasks related to the moral preparation of the younger generation to participate in labor, the nature of which changes significantly in the conditions of the scientific and technological revolution. The modern learning process is aimed at ensuring that schoolchildren not only assimilate a certain amount of knowledge, but also master the ability to independently navigate in the rapid flow of scientific and political information. This requires adapting teaching methods to the demands of life.

The social formation of the younger generation, the development of a certain moral position in life among young people are impossible outside the activities of the Pioneer and Komsomol organizations. Resolution of the Central Committee of the CPSU "On the 50th anniversary of the VI Lenin All-Union Pioneer Organization" (1972); resolutions of the Central Committee of the CPSU and the Council of Ministers of the USSR "On the completion of the transition to universal secondary education for young people and the further development of secondary schools" (1972), "On measures to further improve the working conditions of rural secondary schools" (1973), "On further improvement systems of vocational education "(1972); "On the Approval of the Fundamentals of Legislation of the USSR and the Union Republics on Public Education" (1973), as well as the developed and enacted "Charter of a Secondary School of General Education" (1970) determine the program for the development of public education in the USSR, type.

In the decree of the Central Committee of the CPSU and the Council of Ministers of the USSR "On the further improvement of education and upbringing of students of general education schools and their preparation for work" (1977), it was pointed out the need to educate schoolchildren in the spirit of communist ideology, revolutionary, labor and military traditions of the Soviet people, unswerving observance moral norms, respect for socialist property and nature.

At school, moral education is carried out in close connection and interaction with ideological, political and labor. At each age stage of a child's development, its own side of upbringing dominates (which by no means means the only one). In the upbringing of younger schoolchildren, such a side will be moral education: children master simple moral norms, learn to follow them in various situations (at home, at school, on the street, in public places).

When joining the pioneers, in the ranks of the Komsomol members, special attention is paid to ideological and political education. Labor education dominates in the senior grades. It was during this period that schoolchildren should be prepared for the choice of a labor path, they should be trained to be ready to work in the sphere of material production. In choosing a profession, moral motives and understanding of the needs of society should play an important role. In this case, we are not talking about the one-sided development of the student's personality, but about its various aspects. The general pedagogical task is to turn the socially necessary requirements of society into internal stimuli for the student's actions.

The educational process, industrial practice, extracurricular and extracurricular work are closely related to moral education. In the conditions of a modern school, when the content of education has increased in volume and has become more complex in its internal structure, the role of the educational process in moral education is increasing. The content side of moral concepts is due to the scientific knowledge that students receive by studying academic subjects. Moral knowledge itself is no less important for the general development of schoolchildren than knowledge of specific academic subjects.

The study of domestic and foreign fiction makes it possible to form an idea of the moral ideal, humanism and moral activity of the individual. Studying the history of the USSR in high school, schoolchildren learn the laws of the process of socialist and communist construction. Historical material reveals in front of them the remarkable qualities of the proletariat - its organization, revolutionary spirit, devotion to the ideals of communism.

Students get acquainted with the images of the heroes of the October Revolution, the Civil War and the pre-war five-year plans, heroes of the Second World War, participants in the movement for communist labor, fighters for maintaining peace throughout the world.

In the process of legal education, schoolchildren learn the content of the Constitution of the USSR, the humanistic orientation of the articles of the Basic Law of the USSR, in which moral norms acquired a legal status (Articles 20, 60, 66, etc.).

Social science provides knowledge about the basic qualities and ways of forming a personality of the socialist type. The upbringing of a new person is seen as the accomplishment of a revolution in the consciousness and behavior of people. Service to the socialist society, concern for its growth and prosperity are becoming the main measure of human dignity. Mastering knowledge, schoolchildren are brought up on the revolutionary, militant and labor traditions of the party and the people, in the spirit of devotion to communist ideals.

The Lenin test plays an essential role in the ideological and moral formation of the personality of the Soviet schoolchild. Having become an important part of communist education, it contributes to the assimilation of the teachings of Marxism-Leninism by high school students, the combination of knowledge with the solution of everyday practical issues, is a program for the ideological and moral growth of each member of the school team.

In the learning process, a systematic introduction to moral knowledge takes place. An important source of their accumulation is the acquaintance of schoolchildren with the environment: tourism, excursions around the city, to production.

The knowledge of schoolchildren about moral standards, obtained in the classroom, in the pioneer detachment and the Komsomol group, their own life observations are often scattered and incomplete. Therefore, special work is required to generalize the knowledge gained. The forms of work are different: in primary and adolescent grades it can be a teacher's story, ethical conversation, in senior grades - a systematic course in ethics, debates on moral topics. The program of ethical conversations is structured in such a way that in each class the same moral problems are studied (about partnership, friendship, attitude to work, etc.), but their specific content changes in connection with the accumulation of knowledge and experience among children.

Of great importance for the ideological and moral formation of schoolchildren is not only the content, but also the organization of the educational process. NK Krupskaya believed that both in school and in work one should learn to work collectively. For this, it is necessary to build the cognitive activity of students as a collective one. The organization of collective and group forms of educational activity is possible in lessons in all subjects, but especially in labor lessons, laboratory, practical, and optional lessons. But, unfortunately, it should be noted that such forms of work are still insufficiently used in the practice of schools.

In the relationship of schoolchildren in the classroom, the beginnings of collective labor are manifested. This is, first of all, the attitude of each student to his work as to a common one, the ability to act in concert with others, mutual support and at the same time comradely exactingness towards each other, the ability to be critical of oneself, to assess his personal success or failure from the standpoint of common work.

With the same practical results (for example, achieving high academic performance, performing socially useful tasks, etc.), different moral relations can arise in joint activities: solidarity and mutual assistance, or selfishness and ambition. The nature of the relationship in the process of collective activity should therefore be the subject of constant and close attention on the part of teachers and educators.

The organization of the educational process, forms of knowledge assessment, value judgments that characterize the attitude of schoolchildren to learning and their comrades, in a thoughtful teacher, are aimed at ensuring that the strengths of each student are realized by him and his comrades. This creates a favorable emotional state of the student in the team, which is one of the conditions for his successful moral development. Academic performance often depends not only on knowledge and skills, not only on intellectual capabilities, but also on self-esteem. Therefore, work with academically neglected schoolchildren should begin not so much with explaining to him what he does not know, but with instilling self-confidence in him. If the student feels this, work with him will be much easier and more effective.

The formation of the moral experience of schoolchildren can not be limited only by their educational activities. The formation and development of a socialist personality presupposes its active participation in socially useful work. Schoolchildren engage in self-service, which is important not so much from the point of view of a direct material result as in educational terms. The feasible work of Soviet children is poured into the work of the country: schoolchildren take part in the protection of nature, help in the harvest, etc. In their feasible work for the good of the Motherland, they develop an attitude to work as the most important vital necessity, the need to work for the good of society, respect for people labor, respect for the national property. Labor education in a broad sense, as a means of moral education, presupposes the purposeful organization of all types of labor practice of students. By engaging in socially useful work, schoolchildren experience the moral and ideological influence of the life of labor collectives, their social relations, the moral climate of socialist production.

The Soviet school has rich opportunities for organizing the most diverse and interesting forms of labor education: student production teams, school forestry, labor and recreation camps, etc. Students are actively engaged in rabbit breeding, poultry farming, procurement of feed and medicinal herbs, greening of cities and towns, participate in harvesting. For example, in the Altai Territory, labor associations of students have been created in 1243 schools: 413 labor and recreation camps, 391 repair and construction brigades, 521 student production brigades, 140 school forestry districts, 450 "small timiryazevoks", 60 teams for the care of arboretums. In 1973 alone, student teams collected 1235 thousand poods of wheat, 2550 tons of sugar beets and 2 thousand tons of potatoes.

With the arrival of summer, the fifth labor quarter of Soviet schoolchildren begins. Every day, socially useful activities of young students open up real pedagogical opportunities for the formation of not only professional interests and skills, but, which is especially important, and consciousness of organization and discipline, a sense of responsibility for the success of a common cause.

In the course of inclusion in active labor activity, certain difficulties are encountered. A very important problem, the problem of the productive labor of students, remains not yet fully resolved. There is already an established positive experience: the organization of training workshops, training and production plants and farms, school factories. The inclusion of schoolchildren in productive labor also requires the mass production of tools, devices, mechanisms, machine tools and machines that meet the age characteristics of students and the technical level of modern production (industrial and agricultural). This gives significant educational results: students develop respect and love for work; issues of their vocational guidance are positively resolved; the student gains a sense of independence; in the labor field, he sees an opportunity to apply his knowledge and skills.

A characteristic feature of the organization of school moral education at the present time is its implementation in accordance with a scientifically developed program, which provides for the implementation of the principle of continuity. This program was embodied in the "Approximate content of the education of schoolchildren", which reveals the tasks, the essence of education, including moral, the types of activities in which all schoolchildren should be included.

Moral requirements are formulated in other documents, which are addressed directly to the students themselves, pioneers and Komsomol members. These are the rules of students, the rules of the Octobrists, the laws of the pioneers of the Soviet Union, the Charter Komsomol. They contain norms related to attitude towards the Motherland, duty, social duties, learning, labor, principles of collectivism and solidarity, honesty and humanity.

The formation of moral independence is carried out at all levels of education. The educational process is structured in such a way that it provides for situations (natural or special) in which the student is faced with the need for independent moral choice. In such a situation, certain relations between students necessarily develop, moral contradictions appear that require their resolution. The real task arising under these conditions can be generally presented as an alternative (for example, “to help or not to help a friend,” “to help unselfishly or for a reward,” “to tell the truth or keep silent”, etc.).

The situations themselves are naturally included in the everyday life of schoolchildren, since they are directly related to their interests and needs, constitute the essence of their usual relationships with other people, their attitudes towards fulfilling their duties, their moral assessments and self-assessments. In no case should moral situations for schoolchildren of all ages be presented or looked like teaching or controlling, otherwise their educational value may be negated.

The result of moral education is manifested in the attitude of schoolchildren to their duties, to the activity itself, to other people. The decisive factor here is the spiritual charge, on which the atmosphere of the school collective and the style of educational work ultimately depend.

In school practice, however, the moral result of the organized activity of schoolchildren is not always fully thought out and taken into account. For example, the pedagogically unreasonable application of competition in school sometimes complicates the education of students. In the school collective (when the formation of a person's personality is just taking place), competition can give morally not only positive results (the desire to achieve high results in an honest way, the development of comradely mutual assistance, responsibility for a common cause), but also negative ones: to separate the children, arouse resentment, envy , anger, vanity. If the competition is organized ineptly, then it is not so much the interests of the business itself that come to the fore, as the desire to get the first place and the reward that comes with it. Thus, the ideological and educational motive of useful activity can be replaced by the motive of winning.

Such examples can be observed. The guys are more likely to help the "stranger" grandmother than their own, since in the first case this good deed will be credited in the competition, and in the second - not. In order to get more points in the competition for collecting scrap metal, schoolchildren turn in Suitable Materials and Items. Consequently, competition in school, with moral results in mind, must be corrected as necessary.

Taking into account the nature and mechanism of action of competition, the types of educational work can be conditionally divided into three groups: competition is desirable and necessary (in labor, in sports, in parades, competitions, etc.); are possible, but this does not mean that they are always needed (landscaping the school, organizing concerts, participating in feasible production work, etc.); Competitions are unacceptable when they are held with unequal opportunities associated with personality traits and abilities.

The core of upbringing, which determines the moral development of students, is the purposeful formation of relations in the school collective. Therefore, simultaneously with the selection of the content, methods and forms of educational work, the teacher is always faced with the task of organizing the moral relations of the pupils.

The success of pedagogical activities in moral education largely depends on the nature of the relationship between teacher and students. In no profession, the personality of a person, his character, convictions, morality, attitude towards other people are of such decisive importance as in the profession of a teacher. A teacher who is knowledgeable, but unfair can cause a child to dislike school, unwillingness to attend it.

The peculiarity of the teacher's profession is that his work, his words and deeds are in full view of schoolchildren. They notice everything: how he is dressed - casually or carefully, how he talks with other people: with his parents, with fellow teachers, with the director, with students. How does he relate to excellent students and underperformers; whether it keeps its promises or not; whether he can admit that he is wrong or not. These observations are not always realized, but they accumulate and form an idea of the teacher, his knowledge, justice, humanity. The teacher's attitude towards schoolchildren appears as a real moral ideal, but all other relationships are built on the model of which.

A survey of adolescents and high school students shows that they highly value the moral qualities of a teacher, which are manifested in his attitude towards schoolchildren. “Students in grades 5-8 singled out the following among the qualities of the best teacher: knows a lot - 76%, interestingly, explains from the heart - 69; when explaining, he sees who does not understand, AND in a hurry to provide assistance - 61; hardworking - 73; kind, fair-72; with a cheerful character-61; does not complain to parents-58; sensitive and attentive -74; during breaks with us - 38% "- Among the qualities of the personality of a good teacher, senior pupils call:" high culture, erudition and knowledge of the subject - 72%, conscientious attitude to the performance of their duties - 69%; adherence to principles, exactingness in relation to students, workmates - 71%; 5 exactingness to oneself - 63%; sensitivity, attentiveness, tact-64% ... ".

It is often possible to see how schools operating in similar conditions, with approximately the same contingent of students and teaching staff, using the same content, methods and organizational forms of work, achieve varying degrees of efficiency in the moral education of schoolchildren. Research shows that the reason for this phenomenon is related to the nature of the relationship between teachers and students.

Two schools were taken, which were similar in terms of the contingent of students, the composition and level of professional training of teaching staff, the content of educational work, but differed in the prevailing nature of relationships in the general school collective. In the first school, it was noticeable that teachers first of all strive to establish correct and sincere relations with students, to establish emotional contact, thereby creating a relaxed atmosphere of communication. Students in lessons, breaks, holidays, various extracurricular activities felt free, felt an atmosphere of cheerfulness, smartness, friendliness and readiness for useful actions. Another school, like the first, was also distinguished by its external order and discipline of students. Their fit was especially noticeable in the presence of a teacher. However, in the relationship of adults to children, strict formality was striking. The teachers preferred to be at a "distance" with the students, which, in their opinion, preserved the authority of the adult. The independence of the actions and activities of children was severely limited.

To determine the effectiveness of moral education, the following indicators were identified: the external order at school, academic performance, the manifestation of student initiative, the well-being of the emotional state of schoolchildren.

In the first two indicators, both schools achieved the same results, in the last two they differed markedly. In the first school, students' initiative was higher: 69% of students in grades 7-8 initiated the organization of various types of socially useful and labor activities. In the second school, such students were 37%. The style of work of the teaching staff of the first school creates more favorable conditions for the development of activity, independence of each pupil than the style of the other, which constrains the initiative of children. It turned out that in the first school 12% of students did not express a desire to participate in extracurricular activities, and in the second - 25%. In the first school, 65% of newcomers assessed their position in the team as a state of emotional well-being, in the second school there were 37% of such children. Correct relationships between teachers and students, based on mutual understanding and trust, strengthen the moral atmosphere in the school and effectively influence the development of children.

The problem of the criteria for the moral education of schoolchildren is one of the most urgent and difficult for modern pedagogy. It should be noted that researchers and practitioners have already accumulated significant empirical materials characterizing the indicators of individual moral qualities, attitudes, behavior, consciousness of schoolchildren of different age groups. At the same time, various development indicators are put forward. When analyzing the work of individual teachers, attention is paid to the characteristics of the content, its ideological nature, accessibility to age, etc. When comparing the work of schools, general criteria are often used: the number of educational activities carried out, their colorfulness and coverage of children, the results of schoolchildren's work. The significance of these indicators is undoubtedly, but at the same time it must be understood that the main, essential results of educational work lie in the child himself, in his moral character.

Development at each separate moment can be viewed both as a level of upbringing and as a result of previous educational work. It manifests itself in the improvement of the student's relationship to people, adults and peers, to the team, to work, to himself. These relationships are manifested in the actions, consciousness, feelings and ideas of the child. Therefore, the effectiveness of educational work can be determined only under the condition of careful observation of the development of schoolchildren.

Joint work of the school, family and community in the moral education of children and youth.

The unity of the educational influence of teachers, counselors, school staff, parents and representatives of the public on students is one of the main requirements for organizing the process of moral education. It follows from the interests of the state and the people, each family and society as a whole.

Each channel of moral education of young people has its own specific conditions and opportunities. The family, like the school, forms the civic, ideological and moral qualities of the individual, prepares children for independent work and the choice of a profession, guided by the social goals of education. But the different level of education, general and pedagogical culture of parents, the diversity of their social needs and aspirations, the originality of views on the upbringing of children, conditioned by life experience, habits, inclinations, convictions developed in the process of their own development and upbringing, together determine the specificity of the conditions of upbringing in the family. compared to school.

The family is such an educational collective in which the process of purposeful education (intentional teaching and guidance) is much less organized than at school. In the family, the child feels weaker about himself as an object of open educational influences and is more actively established as a subject of independent life activity. The main advantage of parents from a pedagogical point of view is that their influence is always directed directly to the child, that is, it has an individual character. Parents can better understand their son or daughter and take into account his moral and psychological characteristics. But at the same time, the educational opportunities of parents, especially in a small family, are limited, since they are not supported by the parallel action of an organized children's collective, as can be observed in a school or a large family.

Parents also have an advantage in using a wide variety of life situations for the purpose of moral education. These situations cover many aspects of the child's life and activity, which either do not take place in school life, or affect the child very weakly. For example, situations in which a teenager can show his adulthood, make a moral choice, independently solve any difficult life issue that is important for him and his family. Situations of this kind actively promote the adolescent's awareness of personal and social values, the formation of intimate feelings and relationships, that is, they contribute to the development of his inner world.

The success of the moral formation of a student largely depends on the teacher's ability to work with parents. The forms and methods of work of the school with parents are different: meetings, conversations, consultations, specially organized pedagogical education; inclusion of parents as assistants in the educational process. The relationship that develops between the teacher and the parents of schoolchildren is of great importance. The leading role in these relations is played by the teacher. For him, education is a professional activity. He owns an arsenal of educational tools that he skillfully uses in various pedagogical situations.

The teacher informs the parents about the child's actions: his successes and failures, attitude to his duties, etc. Mutual understanding with parents is largely achieved by the extent to which the teacher observes the measure in positive and negative assessments. Therefore, the teacher should evaluate the specific act of the student, and not the personality of the child as a whole, together with the parents, find ways to improve or correct the situation.

The media that influence children outside of school requires pedagogical guidance in the perception of the material they are passing on. Not only does the teacher need to know the content of radio and television programs, he must teach children how to use this channel of knowledge correctly.

Work with schoolchildren includes production and military teams, students, members of creative unions, and individual social activists. They help to pedagogically expediently organize the time for children free from school knowledge. Their activity is not a duplication, but a continuation of the educational efforts of the school. At the place of residence of students, under the leadership of the school, children's interest clubs are organized, various detachments are created to ensure the patronage of the elders over the younger ones, sports sections, and weekend hikes.

The patronage function of labor collectives is that they include work with schoolchildren in their production and social activities, actively pass on to them their moral experience and attitude to work.

The school organizes in its microdistrict pedagogical universal education for all those working with children, acts as an organizing, unifying force that ensures the purposefulness of the upbringing process not only within its own walls, but also outside them.

The moral upbringing of a child takes place, first of all, in the family. It is the family that is the first social “cell” into which the child falls after birth, and it is in it that all natural biological and socio-psychological ties between parents and children are intertwined. D.S. Likhachev wrote that the attachment of children to the family is not formed through lectures and instructions, it cannot be created on purpose; it is created by the atmosphere that prevails in the family. The importance of these connections is extremely great for the moral education of the child, it is thanks to them that the mental and social development of the child's personality occurs, starting from a very early age.

The family microenvironment transfers to the growing baby the social experience and knowledge accumulated by previous generations, the moral experience of the parents themselves. From an early age, a child learns the norms of behavior of his parents and, in accordance with them, builds his relationships with close people, and then, assimilated relationships, transfers them to society. How relationships with peers, teachers, neighbors will be built depends on the primary moral experience. It is in the family that the child learns to correlate his actions with the interests of other people, to take into account their desires and views on this or that problem, to show concern for others.

The moral upbringing of a child depends on the personal example of the parents

At the heart of all learning is the ability of children to imitate. So it is in the moral sphere. A small child lacks life experience, he lacks knowledge, so he imitates adults. He perfectly feels the atmosphere of the family, monitors the nature of moral relations between dad and mom: the degree of respect for each other, consent, sensitivity. The child perceives the tone and nature of their conversations, notices how parents resolve conflicts and difficult life situations. All observations and impressions of a child from family life form the basis of his own behavior and become a criterion for his attitude to the world around him.

As they grow older, children are already moving beyond family experience, their knowledge of life expands and they begin to form their own specific views and judgments. So, in adolescence, children are already more critical of the actions of their parents and not all accept them as a role model. Much depends on parental authority in the eyes of the child.

Moral education in the family consists in the assimilation of moral concepts of good and evil, in the formation of moral feelings and emotions, and most importantly, in the emergence of moral needs and beliefs. What are they:

Responsiveness as the first step in moral education... She needs to be educated even before the prevailing concepts of good and evil, a sense of duty and social responsibility. The ability to feel the state and needs of another person, sympathy for his difficulties, empathy, the desire to alleviate his suffering is what makes a child a sensitive, heartfelt person. It is in the family that the child should be taught to take care of those who are nearby, to sacrifice his desires for the sake of another. Remember the lines from the poem "Mom is sleeping, she is tired, so I did not play ...".

Moral attitude towards good: " Never harm anyone - try to bring maximum benefit". It is formed in the mind of a child from a very early age.

And one more moral need is also important, which is important to lay in the soul of the child: “ Good does not need to be said - good deeds should be done».

Thus, moral education consists in the fact that in the life of parents the word does not diverge from the deed. Only then will they form moral qualities in their children by their example.

1. Introduction 2

2. Main part 4

CHAPTER 1. Theoretical aspects of moral education of a child in a family 4

1) History of problem 4

2) The essence of moral education 5

CHAPTER 2. Problems of moral education in the family 10

CHAPTER 3. The main ways and conditions for the formation of the morality of the child in the family 12

The history of the question of the influence of the family on the upbringing of a child has its roots in ancient times. Apart from teachers, he excited the minds of many outstanding people of different eras and peoples. Tacitus, Petronius, Virgil, Confucius, Kant, Hegel, Catherine the Great, Jean-Jacques Rousseau paid attention to family education in their writings ... The list is truly inexhaustible. Not a single famous thinker, politician, statesman has ignored this topic. Why? The fact is that family education is inextricably linked with the life of society and the state. The Russian writer and educator Nikolai Nikolaevich Novikov wrote in 1783 in his treatise "On the upbringing and instruction of children": "Bring up your children as happy people and useful citizens ... The first main part of upbringing ... taking care of the body." Further, the enlightener notes: “No person can be either contented and happy, or a good citizen, if his heart is agitated by disorderly wishes, leading him either to vices or to foolishness; if the well-being of a neighbor arouses envy in him or greed makes him covet someone else's property, or voluptuousness weakens his body, or ambition and hatred deprive him of the peace of mind, without which one cannot have any pleasure ... and all this depends on the formation of the heart in youth. From this follows the second main part of education, which has the subject of the formation of the heart and is called scientists moral education... the third major part of upbringing ... enlightenment, or education of the mind. " The subject of our research in this work is the process of moral education of children in the family.

The problem of moral education remains very urgent today. The burden of difficulties that we have inherited is very heavy. The end of the 2nd millennium was marked by environmental disasters, entailing a violation of the ecological balance in the physical and moral health of people. The horrible manifestations of social and economic cataclysms are the increased juvenile delinquency, blooming with lush flowers and, like ambrosia, an intractable drug addiction. The consequence (or the reason?) Of this are lack of spirituality, revaluation of values, loss of moral guidelines of the younger generation and, consequently, of society as a whole.

The family is traditionally the main educational institution. What the child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of the family as an institution of upbringing is due to the fact that the child is in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of its impact on the personality, none of the institutions of upbringing can compare with the family. It lays the foundations of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school, he is already more than half formed as a person.

Due to the specifics of his work, the social educator faces the problems of family and society. The first acquaintance is with the child, the second is with his family. And here practice shows that, paradoxical as it may seem, the following pattern emerged: parents must educate their children correctly, but since they do not know how or do not want to do this, the teacher has to teach the parents. They need to be armed with psychological and pedagogical knowledge, to indicate the methods of moral education of children in the family. This is the purpose and objectives of this course work.

The purpose of the work is to show that family traditions, moral principles, pedagogical skills of parents are necessary conditions for the formation of a child's moral convictions;

consider the problems of moral education of children in the family.

The following tasks serve to achieve this goal.

1. Studying scientific and pedagogical literature on this issue to identify the level of moral education of children in the family.

2. Determine family conditions, microclimate and methods necessary for the formation of a morally developed personality in the family.

The following methods and techniques were used.

1.Analysis of scientific literature.

2.Analysis of conversations with parents and children (experience of a pedagogical practitioner).

The object of research is family relationships.

CHAPTER 1. Theoretical aspects of moral education of a child in a family

1) History of the problem

Social, social, political, moral difficulties in each time period of history have their own characteristics. This prompts philosophers, psychologists, teachers of a particular historical period to consider this problem from the point of view that reflects these features to a greater extent. Of course, the points of view did not always coincide and, moreover, they were often diametrically opposed. V. Titarenko in the article "Family education, its specificity and necessity" notes: "As for the family, its role was questioned by a number of representatives of social thought in the past (Plato, Hegel, T. Campanella, C. Fourier ...), and even now there is such an opinion. " Yes, in our country, at any rate, views on family education have long been ambiguous. Professor F. Fradkin and Doctor of Pedagogy M. Plokhova turned to the history of this issue. Here is what they noted: “Before the revolution, school education was seen as something additional to the main one - education in the family. The foundations of morality, LN Tolstoy and SA Rachinsky, KD Ushinsky and PF Kapterev, and other teachers argued, were laid in family education, and the main task of the school was to educate the student. Education is effective if there is continuity between the past, present and future. It is this connection that the family provides. The goodwill and conscience of a person is awakened in a supportive family environment.

The issue was solved in a fundamentally different way after the revolution. The task of forming a person of a new type required a "break" with the family "conservative" upbringing, which caused anxiety. NI Bukharin said that it was necessary "to destroy the old relations in the family organization" and to lead "a slow digging under the most conservative stronghold of all the abominations of the old regime."

In the same years, a second strategy was determined in relation to family education. S. T. Shatsky, P. P. Blonsky, N. N. Iordansky, A. V. Evstigneev-Belyakov considered it necessary to rely on the positive in the family, to use the traditions of family education ... It is necessary, this group of teachers argued, to use diligence for educational purposes , warmth and cordiality of family relationships ...

But, despite the existence of this point of view, a tendency was gaining strength, according to which it was necessary to snatch the child out of the family and raise him in specially created institutions - communal schools, children's towns, etc.

In the 60s, the Pavlysh teacher V.A. The father and mother are the greatest authorities for the child. There is a deep connection between generations, the scientist wrote, a child is one of the links in a chain stretching for centuries, and its breaking is a grave tragedy that inevitably leads to the disintegration of moral principles.

The merit of V. A. Sukhomlinsky in the return to universal human values. He was the first in Soviet pedagogy to turn to the processes of a child's spiritual life, the need and value of empathy, sympathy, and the creation of the necessary conditions for the educational activities of parents and teachers. "

2) The essence of moral education

Let's explain the concepts of upbringing, morality, morality, referring to the "Dictionary of the Russian language" by SI Ozhegov.

Education - behavioral skills instilled by the family, school, environment and manifested in public life.

Morality - the rules that determine behavior, spiritual and mental qualities necessary for a person in society, as well as the implementation of these rules, behavior.

Morality is the rule of morality, as well as morality itself.

What is moral education?

V.A. Sukhomlinsky notes that upbringing is the gradual enrichment of a child with knowledge, skills, experience, it is the development of the mind and the formation of an attitude towards good and evil, preparation for the fight against everything that goes against the moral foundations of society. According to V. A. Sukhomlinsky's definition, the essence of the process of moral education is that moral ideas become the property of every pupil, turn into norms and rules of behavior. V. A. Sukhomlinsky believed that the main content of moral education was the formation of such personality traits as ideological, humanism, citizenship, responsibility, hard work, nobility and the ability to manage oneself.

Writer and teacher S. A. Soloveichik writes: “Upbringing is teaching a moral life, that is, teaching moral means. When raising children, we teach them to achieve their goals at their own expense - using only moral means. Morality (defined by the question "at whose expense?") Indicates the lower limit of actions and deeds possible for a person; it is impossible to overstep the requirements of morality. Morality is the borderline of what is permitted by conscience. And there is no upper limit, upward - spirituality, it is infinite ... A person has any choices, except those associated with difficulties for another person ... There will be moral education - the child will perceive the rules of cultural behavior from the environment surrounding him, take an example from his parents ... There will be morality there will almost certainly be spirituality; if there is no morality, there will be nothing, no education. "

The moral values, guidelines and beliefs of the individual are contained in the family. The family is a special kind of collective that plays a basic, long-term and most important role in upbringing.

The eminent philosopher V.V. Rozanov noted: "... only the family, only she alone can bring up in children the most essential aspects of culture, instill in its most spiritualized, ethereal particles ...".

“The spiritual atmosphere of a healthy family is designed to instill in a child the need for pure love, a tendency for courageous sincerity and the ability to calm and dignified discipline,” the philosopher I. A. Ilyin wrote in 1962.

So, family - child - morality - this is the chain that interests us.

SI Varyukhina, a researcher of the problem of moral upbringing of children in a family, notes that “among many valuable human qualities, kindness is the main indicator of human development in a person ... The concept of a“ kind person ”is very complex. It includes a variety of qualities that have long been valued by people. A kind person can be called a person who has developed love for the Motherland, people living nearby, an active desire to do good, the ability to self-denial for the good of others, honesty, conscientiousness, a correct understanding of the meaning of life and happiness, a sense of duty, justice, diligence. " These are all concepts of morality.

"What should be brought up in our children from early childhood, what constitutes the moral world of a child?" - asks SI Varyukhin and gives such a classification.

“The moral consciousness of a person, or the moral world of a person, includes three levels:

1.motivational and incentive;

2.emotional and sensual;

3. rational, or mental.

Each of these levels consists of elements that make up the essence of the moral world of man.

Motivational and incentive the level contains the motives of actions, moral needs and beliefs. Moral education is correct only when it is based on the motivation of children to develop, when the child himself is active in his moral development, that is, when he himself wants to be good. This level is the most important, it is here that the origins of human behavior are rooted, condemned or approved by people and society, bringing good or evil, benefit or harm.

Sensual-emotional the level consists of moral feelings and emotions. Emotions are known to be positive (joy, gratitude, tenderness, love, admiration, etc.) and negative (anger, envy, anger, resentment, hatred).

Emotions must be ennobled, cultivated in one word - educate. Moral feelings - responsiveness, empathy, compassion, empathy, pity - are directly related to emotions. These feelings are acquired by a person as a result of upbringing and are the most important components of kindness. A good person will not be successful without moral feelings. "

The Czech teacher M. Klimova - Fyugnerova notes: “The parental home takes the first place in the formation and cultivation of feelings. Nothing can replace it. A home for a child is a school of preparation for life. Love, justice, tolerance not only towards children ... but also towards all other family members should reign in the house. Cultivating feelings includes cultivating empathy. Developing this feeling requires parenting support - not just by word, but by example. A child should see how we in practice show our love for our neighbor ... Compassion is one of the wonderful human qualities, because it is an expression of humanity.

Feelings are the driving force behind striving for a goal. If a person loves someone, he wants to bring him joy.

Feelings are a source of inspiration, joy, enthusiasm in interesting work.

Feelings are a source of strength. Love for a person, for example, can lead to selfless labor, to courage, heroism, fearlessness.

Feelings are effective helpers of upbringing. Prohibition, mentoring, moralizing are far from being as intelligible as cordiality, sincerity and affection. Cold strictness in upbringing causes alienation in the child, which can develop into pretense, hypocrisy and deception. "

“The rational, or mental, level contains moral knowledge - concepts about the meaning of life and happiness, good and evil, honor, dignity, duty. In addition to concepts, moral knowledge also includes principles, ideals, norms of behavior, moral assessments.

“Only that person becomes a real person,” wrote V. A. Sukhomlinsky, “in whom noble desires arise, are affirmed in their souls, which stimulate behavior, give rise to passions and deeds ... - this is one of the golden rules of upbringing adolescents. "

What is need in general? Need is the desire to replenish what is missing in the body for its normal existence.

For a child's moral need to arise, a moral environment is necessary. Such an environment should be the kind world of a family or other environment.

All elements of moral needs are maximally saturated with feelings and emotions.

To educate a child's moral needs, you need to know what elements they consist of.

Moral needs begin

1.s responsiveness, which we understand as the ability of a person to understand the predicament or condition of another.

A responsive person is usually called empathetic, warm-hearted. Responsiveness is a whole spectrum of feelings - empathy, compassion, empathy. It is necessary to cultivate responsiveness in a child even before he develops ideas about good, evil, duty and other concepts.

2. Another essential element of moral needs - moral attitude, which can be formulated as follows: “ Do not harm anyone, but bring maximum benefit". It needs to be formed in the mind of the child from the time when he begins to speak. Thanks to this attitude, the child will always strive for good, inherent egoism or egocentrism is overcome in him.

Generally, the moral attitude can be defined as love for people, nature. As consciousness develops, it develops into love for the Motherland, for its people.

The child's moral attitude must be constantly brought up by word and deed, by example and explanation, using the magical power of art and the living world of nature.

3. And the last, important structural element of moral needs is the ability for active kindness and intransigence to all manifestations of evil.

The effectiveness of good is successfully formed in children by all the examples of the life of an adult family environment, and therefore it is important that the latter does not diverge from word to deed.

S. I Varyukhina also notes that one of the central concepts of the moral world of man is conscience. “Conscience is a person's ability to self-control, self-esteem based on public moral assessments. Conscience primordially means knowledge of general information about human behavior, its norms, principles, the essence of a person, etc.

You need to start forming a conscience by fostering a sense of shame in your child.

A child's awareness of the essence of the concept of "conscience" is prepared by the totality of moral family education. And moral needs play an important role here, since remorse is especially acute when there is injustice towards a person, when you realize that you have caused harm to someone, harm, that the person is bad and you are to blame.

The primary task of parents is to bring up in their children a deep, reliable understanding of conscience, so that it becomes a feeling, a particle of the spiritual world.

These are the elements of moral need. Knowing them will help parents raise their children to be kind, happy people who bring benefit to society.

The moral needs of a person are closely related to moral feelings, which are also the motives of human behavior. This is compassion, sympathy, empathy, selflessness ...

Raising developed moral needs is the main task of parents. The task is quite feasible. What is needed for its successful solution?

1) Parents should be aware of the importance of this task.

3) Know how, by what methods to form moral needs in children.

CHAPTER 2. Problems of moral education in the family

The social educator most often has to work with adolescents. This is a very difficult age. Whole tangles of teenage problems have to be unraveled by educators and psychologists. One of the most important features of adolescence is the development of moral consciousness: moral ideas, concepts, beliefs, a system of value judgments, which a teenager begins to be guided by in behavior. Depending on what kind of moral experience a teenager acquires, what kind of moral activity he carries out, his personality will take shape. At this age, a child is especially at risk of becoming a victim of improper upbringing. Let's turn to real situations. Researcher S. E. Karklina gives such an example. The mother brings up her daughter Inna alone, the father left when the girl was 3 years old. Mother actively incited Inna against her father, who came to her daughter: “He is a disgusting person. He left you, he doesn't love you, and you don't even say hello to him! .. "Further S. E. Karklina writes:" I called Inna's mother. I tried to explain to her that it was impossible to kill respect for her father in a girl. Ono looked at me over her glasses and said clearly:

- I myself know what is possible and what is not. He is a rascal, and the daughter should know this. I am her mother, I love her, I alone will make her happy.

Neither the teachers nor the parental community could convince Innina's mother that she was raising her daughter incorrectly.

- Inna is the only thing that I have in my life. I gave everything to her ... I work day and night ...

And in fact it was so. Inna studied with an English teacher; for music lessons, her mother invited her the best teachers. The girl did not know any refusal. Mother gave all her free time to her: they went to museums together, watched films, read books, and it seemed that better friends than mother and daughter could not be found.

But it all just seemed. Inna grew up quarrelsome and selfish. She was not liked in class. " The girl's inappropriate behavior was confirmed by many incidents. And then the day came when my mother ran to school and in despair exclaimed, addressing the teachers (!): “Whom did you raise from my daughter? I'm going to complain about you! " “The woman burst into tears. It was difficult, but I had to tell her the whole truth:

- You have been warned about this more than once. You yourself have chopped up the branch on which you were sitting. You wanted to build your authority by crushing all the authorities around. But you have not thought about yourself. Inna cannot love and respect you, because she doesn’t love or respect anyone at all ”.

This is a vivid example of a completely immoral (despite trips to museums and theaters) upbringing.

Adolescents often do not get along well not only with their parents, but also with their peers, with teachers, with themselves, finally. Here is an excerpt from the girl's letter:

“About me: my name is Natasha, I'm 16 years old. I'm in grade 11. Hope to finish school with 2-3 A's and the rest of the A's.

Recently my parents in "Komsomolskaya Pravda" read in a letter from a 15-year-old girl: "I am disappointed in life." They laughed at this and said something like: "Well, young people."

My parents don't know me at all. I myself do not remember when I lost touch with them. Now I do not have the slightest desire to share my experiences with them. I talk about all kinds of nonsense, and they think everything is fine in our family. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t go out at night, I won’t be insolently rude. This is enough for everyone. For parents, I also need to read a lot and prepare for college. And no one - not a single person! - do not care about my relationships with peers. Adults in all of us see only "a child among the adult world" ... So far I can only say that in my life I do not see the slightest sense ... "

There was an alienation between the parents and the child, which goes back to the childhood of this girl, rather, during her adolescence. Parents love their daughter, of course. But, apparently, this love has become imperceptible, everyday, trust and sincerity in relations between family members have disappeared. Father and mother do not suspect that they "overlooked" the emotional drama of their already grown-up daughter.

But parents are not always so pedagogically blind. There are many such fathers and mothers who “feel” a critical situation, turn to teachers for help and listen to their advice.

What should a teacher be guided by? Before starting a conversation with parents, it is necessary to determine the intrafamilial socio-psychological factors that have educational value (the educational potential of the family). According to sociologists, the upbringing potential of a family is determined by a number of factors: its material and housing security, the cultural and educational level of the parents, the moral and psychological climate existing in it, the authority of the father and mother in children and the trust of children in their parents, the unity of requirements in the family.

In this regard, the pedagogical flaws of parents can be caused by the following reasons:

1) incomplete family;

2) a conflict atmosphere in the family;

3) the presence of an initially formed false point of view on the upbringing of a child. For example: “My sacred duty is to clothe, shoe, feed, and the rest is the business of the school”;

4) with complete external well-being of the family - authoritarian methods of education;

5) excessive vicious parental love, etc.

Tasks of the teacher:

a) find out how to do so in order to maximize the positive and minimize the negative impact of the family on the upbringing of the child;

b) convince parents (in each case using the right approach) of the fallacy and inconsistency of their point of view and indicate the methods and ways of moral education of the child in the family.

CHAPTER 3. The main ways and conditions for the formation of the morality of the child in the family

Based on the works of teachers V. A. Sukhomlinsky, S. I. Varyukhina, M. Klimova-Fugnerova and other researchers, we highlight the following methods and conditions for the formation of moral needs (moral education of a child in a family).

1) Atmosphere of love... A person deprived of this feeling is not able to respect his loved ones, fellow citizens, the Motherland, to do good to people. The atmosphere of love and heartfelt affection, sensitivity, caring of family members for each other has a strong influence on the child's psyche, gives a wide scope for the manifestation of the child's feelings, the formation and implementation of his moral needs. American psychologist James Dobson notes: “We all really need to not only belong to a separate group of people busy with their own affairs and live in the same house, but also to feel the closeness of loved ones, to breathe the general atmosphere of a family that is aware of its individuality and uniqueness , its own special character, its traditions ”.
At the same time P. Lesgaft argued that blind unreasonable maternal love "killing a child is worse than a cane" makes a person an immoral consumer.

2) Atmosphere of sincerity... “Parents ... should not lie to their children in any important, significant life circumstances. Every lie, every deception, every simulation ... the child notices with extreme acuteness and speed; and, having noticed, falls into embarrassment, temptation and suspicion. If a child cannot be told something, then it is always better to honestly and directly refuse to answer or draw a certain line in information, than to invent nonsense and then get entangled in it or than lie and deceive and then be exposed by childish discernment. And you shouldn't say: “It's too early for you to know”, or “You won't understand it anyway”; such answers only irritate curiosity and pride in the child's soul. Better to answer like this: “I have no right to tell you this; every person is obliged to keep known secrets, and it is indelicate and immodest to inquire about other people's secrets. " This does not violate the straightforwardness and sincerity, and a concrete lesson of duty, discipline and delicacy is given ... ".

3) Clarification. Impact by word.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky noted that the word should be applied specifically to a specific person, the word should be meaningful, have a deep meaning and emotional coloring. For a word to educate, it must leave a mark in the thoughts and soul of the pupil, and for this it is necessary to learn to delve into the meaning of words. Only then can we count on emotional impact. The educator must in a timely manner move from specific facts, events, phenomena to the disclosure of generalized truths, principles of behavior. Teenagers love to reason, but parents often suppress this reasoning, emphasizing their immaturity, explaining that they are still small, and therefore it is too early for them to express their opinions. But it is in the course of this reasoning that adolescents comprehend moral concepts.

What is the right way to talk to a child? The point is that you need to know what to say and what to say.

First, you don’t have to tell a child or teenager what he knows very well without us. It is pointless.

Secondly, we need to think about the tone and manner of our conversation in order to avoid "reprimands" and "boring sermons." Neither one nor the other sinks into the soul of a child.

Thirdly, we need to think over how to connect our conversation with life, what practical result we want to achieve.

And the content, and the tone, and the place, and the timing of the conversation - everything is important. In a word, we convince, but a belief cannot exist without its realization. This is the skill of the educator (parent) so that a conversation with a child evokes in the latter an echo of his own thoughts and experiences, prompting him to be active. “The wealth of spiritual life begins where noble thought and moral feeling, merging together, live in a highly moral deed,” wrote V. A. Sukhomlinsky.

Children of different ages need to be convinced in different ways. Younger students demand convincing examples from life, from books. The teenager is convinced by a deep faith in the word of adults. With children of senior school age, V.A. Sukhomlinsky advises to think aloud, share doubts with them, and seek advice. Such ease affirms trust, frankness, sincerity, brings an adult and a child closer together, opens the way to his spiritual world.

4) Big mistake in family education are reproaches... Some reproach the child for the fact that he is already big, but does not study well, others reproach both his age and physical strength. The right thing to do is done by those parents who make their children proud of their adulthood, encourage and instill confidence in the possibility of success. What is the harm of reproaches? The main evil is that such reproaches cause disbelief in oneself, and disbelief relaxes the will and paralyzes the soul, interfering with making independent decisions in overcoming difficulties.

5) V. A. Sukhomlinsky considers punishment to be an extreme measure of influence. Punishment has educational power in the case when it convinces, makes you think about your own behavior, about your attitude towards people. But the punishment should not offend the dignity of a person, express disbelief in him.

6) Reproach. The educational power of censure depends on the moral qualities and tact of the educator. One must be able, without offending the child, to give a fair, although perhaps harsh assessment of his actions. The art of censure consists in a wise combination of strictness and kindness. It is very important that the child in the censure of an adult feels not only severity, but also self-care.

7) V. A. Sukhomlinsky considers a very important method in education to prohibit... It prevents many flaws in behavior, teaches children to reasonably relate to their desires. Children and adolescents have a lot of desires, but all of them are impossible and do not need to be satisfied. “If the elders strive to satisfy any desire of the child, a capricious creature grows up, a slave to whims and a tyrant of neighbors. The upbringing of desires is the most delicate filigree work of the "gardener" - educator, wise and decisive, sensitive and ruthless. " From childhood, you need to teach a person to manage their desires, to relate correctly to concepts you can, you must, you can't... Thus, parental indulgence is very harmful. “… The art of commanding and prohibiting… is not easy. But in healthy and happy families it always blooms. "

8) Necessary educate feelings... This means both word and deed to cause experiences, awaken feelings, deliberately creating an appropriate situation or using a natural environment.

10) Necessary an exception so-called surplus stimuli from the life of a child: luxury, poverty, excessive delicacies, indiscriminate food, tobacco, alcohol.

11) Protect the child from contact with immoral people... The most important method of mastering knowledge and experience in a child is imitation. The instinct of imitation makes the child try to reproduce all the actions and deeds of the people around him. Reproduced means mastered. Only by the age of 7 does the child develop his own moral foundations and can evaluate the behavior and actions of the people around him. Therefore, adults who love a child and wish him well should strictly control every step they take so as not to serve as an example of immoral behavior for him.

12) Parents you need to pay attention to the chastity of family relationships and in this regard:

a) beware of too sensual "monkey" love for a child, whom they now and then excite with all kinds of immoderate physical caresses;

b) control the manifestation of mutual love in the presence of children. “The parents' matrimonial bed should be covered for children with a chaste secret, kept naturally and unstressed,” wrote I. A. Ilyin.

Considering all of the above, the following conclusions can be drawn.

The family is the first instance on a child's path to life.

Only with the confidence of the child in parental love is it possible to correctly form the human mental world, it is possible to educate moral behavior.

The morality of a child is a necessary condition for his fundamental positions, the consistency of his behavior, respect for the dignity of the individual, spirituality.

Moral education itself is carried out through the formation of the child's moral needs and beliefs, moral feelings and emotions, moral knowledge about good and evil.

The tasks of the teacher are to explain to loving parents that their pedagogical literacy depends primarily on themselves, on their desire to understand the complex and difficult process of the formation and development of a personality; indicate the ways and conditions for the formation of the child's morality.

Literature

Varyukhina S.I. The origins of kindness. - Minsk, 1987.

Ilyin I.A. - 1993. - No. 9.

Karklina S.E. Problems of family education. - M., 1983.

Klimova-Fugnerova M. Emotional education in the family. - Minsk, 1981.

Krutetskiy V.A. Psychology. - M., 1986.

Lyubitsyna M. I. V. A. Sukhomlinsky about raising children. - L., 1974.

Novikov NI From the treatise "On the upbringing and instruction of children" // Mind and Heart. - M., 1989.

Ozhegov S.I. Dictionary of the Russian language. - M., 1989.

Rozanov V.V., The Twilight of Enlightenment. - M., 1990.

Soloveichik S. L. Pedagogy for all. - M., 1987.

Titarenko V. Moral education in the family // Culture of family relations. - M., 1985.

Fradkin F., Plokhova M. Education in the family and school: a look through the decades // Education of schoolchildren. - 1993. - No. 6.

See: Mind and Heart. - M., 1989 .-- S. 77 - 81

See: V. Titarenko. Family education, its specificity and necessity // Culture of family relations. - M., 1985 .-- S. 101 - 116

See: F. Fradkin, M. Plokhova. Upbringing in a family and school: a look through the decades // Upbringing of schoolchildren. - 1993. - No. 6

See: S. L. Soloveichik. Pedagogy for all. - M., 1987 .-- S. 92

See: V.V. Rozanov, The Twilight of Enlightenment. - M., 1990 .-- S. 219.

See: Ilyin I.A. - 1993. - No. 9.

See: Varyukhina S.I., Origins of Kindness. - Minsk., 1987 .-- P. 9.

See: Klimova-Fyugnerova M. Emotional education in the family. - Minsk, 1981 .-- P. 38.

See: S.I.Varyukhina, The Origins of Kindness. - Minsk, 1987

See: S. E. Karklina. Problems of family education. - M., 1983 .-- S. 10 - 13

See: "I don't want to be a seed of peas." Teacher's newspaper. - 1990. - No. 9.

See: Ilyin I.A. - 1993. - No. 9.