Each of us thinks about how to make a good impression on the interlocutors, to be remembered by them, to arouse interest in further communication. Is it possible to develop such a skill as effective communication? Yes, even at home. Many people ask a question, an interlocutor, and there is a completely clear answer to it, expressed in the form of recommendations.

Secondly, imagine that the interlocutor constantly talks about topics in which you do not understand anything at all, and they are, by and large, not interesting to you. Naturally, such a conversation will not be long, and you are unlikely to want to return to the same person. Now we project the situation onto ourselves. How to become an interesting conversationalist? Discuss topics that are familiar and close to another person, but do not neglect your own desires, otherwise you will simply become bored.

Thirdly, effective communication says that an interesting interlocutor is not distant during discussions, he reacts to what is said (nods his head, gestures), but, most importantly, he does not look around, but at the person with whom he is communicating. This is very important, because harmless curiosity ("What is happening to my right?") Can lead to the fact that the interlocutor considers you ill-mannered, because you do not show respect and do not listen to the thought.

Next, let's look at another important aspect of how to become an interesting conversationalist. The one who knows at what stage the relationship is and does not cross a certain boundary. It is not necessary to come too close to unfamiliar people and communicate with them "face to face"; it is necessary to maintain a public distance, as it is called in special literature. At the same time, you can communicate with a loved one at a social or even intimate distance.

Also important is the manner of communication, which depends on the goals of the conversation, and on the relationship between people. Let's highlight such styles as friendly communication; creative (when the interlocutors have a common goal); flirting (striving to make a good impression on the audience, and this striving is aimed at gaining false, cheap authority, not supported by long relationships); distance and mentoring (emphasizing the difference between partners, be it the position held,

The manner of communication - mentoring - assumes that one interlocutor takes on the role of a mentor (shows the difference in experience) and considers it necessary to teach the other person something, in his opinion, correct and important.

Of course, no one likes it when teachings come into play, so this style should not be used in a distant circle, especially with unfamiliar people. It is important to choose the manner that suits the situation, the environment and is consistent with the goals. It is hardly worth arousing false sympathy from an audience that is not tuned in, for example, to accept your point of view. Public distance and a friendly but "cooler" style are fine here.

Thus, it is obvious that there is no supernatural answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist. To begin with, be attentive to those who are currently around you, show emotions about the statements made and do not seek to win the interlocutor from the first second - get to know him better. Of course, it is very important to communicate more with different people, but if a person does not understand you, then why waste your energy on him.

It is much more pleasant to have conversations with friends or with those who are "on the same wavelength." You can train on them on various topics, and even if in situations with unfamiliar people everything is much more complicated, you gain experience, thanks to which, although not immediately, the fear of saying something wrong will disappear. The most important thing is vocabulary, it must be replenished by reading books, otherwise no tricks and techniques will help you become an interesting interlocutor.

How to learn to be an interesting conversationalist for a girl

If you once tried to impress a girl with your ability to communicate, but saw the absence of any desire at all to maintain a conversation, then this is a clear sign that you need to learn to communicate with the opposite sex.

How can you become an interesting conversationalist for a girl? How do you stand out from her other fans who talk to her about the same topics as you?

The answer to this question is already included in the question itself and lies on the surface. Oddly enough, in order for her to be interested with you, you need to communicate differently from the majority. For if you do it in the same way as everyone else, then there will be nothing interesting here. And try to evoke emotions not with some super interesting topics, but with the very style of communication.

Firstly!

Challenge!

Girls are fed up with guys who are trying to please them, beliefs and, as they say, "look in the mouth." These guys are trying so hard to impress with their topics of conversation that it becomes immediately clear to her that any of them are already at her feet.

On the other hand, there are guys who understand that you can't immediately overestimate the value of a girl if she hasn't proven herself worthy of it yet. Men of this type actively value women. And they know how to challenge them.

Therefore, one of the main tips: challenge her!

She must understand that her beauty does not seduce you, and that your trust, respect, interest and time must be earned.

But how to do that? Of course, you won't tell her directly that she should deserve your interest. Since she will most likely just send you.

But talking provocatively is a very real task (although it may seem difficult to you if you are used to always adjusting to girls).

For example, instead of saying that you also like Dima Bilan, say that you do not love him. Better yet, come up with a joke on this topic. Instead of "assenting" to her reflections on life, challenge them. Add something new.

The main thing is to do all this very confidently, and in no case making excuses.

You should not be afraid to express your point of view, even if it is at odds with her views..

How else can you challenge?

Ask provocative questions like: “ And if he kisses me on the cheek, will you be jealous?". Or more in detail: " Imagine that my old friend came up to me, we exchanged a couple of phrases, and then she kissed me goodbye on the cheek. Would you be jealous?". Another example: " If I were your boyfriend, and your girlfriend began to pester me, who would you kill first: me or your girlfriend?».

Why does “challenge” work?

Because it’s very fun and emotional.

Light topics only!

How to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl?

You need to communicate with her only on light topics!

You do not need to delve into complex topics, philosophically talk about relationships or the complexities of life. Don't argue about beliefs (especially personal and deep ones).

Even a topic like childhood or dreams can cause negativity or make her bored. Therefore, you need to be able to talk about this in a positive way. And be able to immediately switch if the situation requires it.

Give her more lightness. More conversations on ordinary topics, more flirting, jokes and just fun - then she will get the necessary emotions. This will already favorably distinguish you against the background of her other fans, who are talking about relationships with a clever air.

Well, and, of course, you shouldn't ask too "deep" questions about life. Be more simple!

Your store of stories

This is what you must have.

Remember a few stories from your life, as well as from the lives of other people. In total, you should have 5-10 mini-stories that would make the girls in a good mood.

How to do it?

In the stories themselves, it is important to describe everything in detail, use vivid comparisons and convey the emotions that other people experienced.

Perhaps emotions are what these stories are told for, so try to make your stories so that you yourself smile more from them than she does.

And don’t think that memorizing stories is difficult. You just need to learn and try to tell each of them at least 3 times. Then you will do it "automatically".

No problem!

Although I have already said that to speak on "difficult" topics, the issue of problems should be given special attention.

During a conversation with a girl, you can (without knowing it) go deep into thinking about any problem. She may start complaining to you about something (moreover, in a completely harmless form - as if, just discussing the topic). But then it can develop into frank complaints on her part (and assenting on your part). And, most interestingly, even though you support this conversation, she will partially lose interest in you (after all, you allowed her to pour out all her problems on you).

As a rule, in such situations it is better to just develop the topic a little, but when you feel the beginning of her complaints, you need to joke or just change the topic. Don't be afraid to sound rude - on the contrary so you will make her respect you more and try to choose normal topics for communication.

Therefore, the next time you communicate with her, never delve into her problems, and even more so, do not try to advise her something.

Confidence and independence from her reaction

If you watch an insecure guy, you can see how he sets the topic. Any question or the beginning of a conversation - and he immediately has a barely noticeable fear. This is the fear that the girl might not like the question or topic of communication. And when he is convinced that the beauty took this topic "with a bang", his reaction also changes dramatically. He himself begins to maintain a more lively conversation.

She understands that at first he was afraid to ask her anything or was generally afraid to ask a new topic. From his reaction, one could understand how he peered into her eyes, as if fearing that she would not approve of the new topic.

Oddly enough, there is a fairly simple solution to this problem. You just need to stop attaching great importance to her words.

You should keep the conversation relaxed, confidently asking the topic / questions, and not overreacting to what she says. Even if you disagree with her point of view, don't show surprise.... The logic here is simple: if your reaction and mood depend on her words, then you are easy to control. So you are NOT a sexually attractive man.

Finally, there are only two ways. First: you live so interestingly that you always have something to talk to her about. Second: all day long and do what to train to properly communicate with the opposite sex. And, as you understand, the first path is much more pleasant and useful for your development.

Be yourself an unusual person do not be afraid to express your point of view and do not be afraid to speak on topics that are important to you... Once you stop being afraid to “be yourself” in conversation, the problem of awkward pauses will disappear forever.

Comments (5) on “How to Become an Interesting Interlocutor for a Girl”

Maybe it will be a little off topic, but I will share my thoughts on seduction, courting girls, and so on. Here I read your articles, watch various videos, where you teach people to get to know each other correctly, to be interesting, and so on ... And you all say that most guys do not communicate correctly, nor behave like that; that girls need strong and sexual ones, that they want to be led and obey a man, since this is their nature.
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In general and in general, I agree with this that the nature of the female sex is such that they want to see a strong partner in front of them.
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BUT ... Why do we men need to correspond to this, why do we cave in to this feminine nature, why do we need to increase our sex opportunities and subjugate a woman, be the first, the best, the most for her, that is, correspond to her ideals, is this not toady? So there is still a woman controls male behavior through her sexual preferences ?!
And where is male leadership asked? When these SUCHES have ass and lust instead of brains and souls!
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And now I will tell you why most guys do not behave by nature, that is, they do not show libido qualities, do not behave like orangutans, do not show sex signs, do not want to be lustful and certainly be leaders and number one to drag a woman into bed and enjoy her flesh.
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The thing is that a man is a spiritualized being, striving to get closer to God, not wanting stupid extramarital sex, a lot of contacts, licentiousness. He who has a direct connection with the divine channel, he feels it with his conscience, it is she who stops him from immoral behavior with the opposite sex and in general from any evil spirits, preserving purity and love, an eternal soul. A man is the beginning of Light (this is love, God and angels), a woman is Darkness (demons, the devil controls her).
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Egor, I appeal to you, why should we destroy what was created by God and turn into monkey-podomny creatures living according to the flesh? Maybe it is worth contemplating the Divine, being on the side of light forces, on the side of good, love, soul, God ?! You don’t think this is more correct, leading to contemplation rather than destruction. You know how the world has degraded recently, why go with the flow and keep up with the modern trend ?!
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Egor, understand that the forces of EVIL rule the worlds, the devil implants sex in us, and he is also the creator of the sexual revolution. You simply correspond to his intentions, thereby pulling eternal souls to HELL. So how even Adultery is a sin! Have you read the Bible at least a little?
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Maybe my speech won't convince you. I advise you to watch the films of Galina Tsareva, especially - "on the other side of earthly life - 2". Souls after death go to hell in millions, and a lot because of the sin of adultery.
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My speech was somewhat emotional, broke out, fasting now and it is difficult to resist sin in such a Godless world.
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Globally, nothing has changed in heaven, everyone also goes through ordeals after death, but on earth they constantly change their thinking and lead people to hell.
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God - our creator for another created us, for eternal and righteous life. I am not inventing anything, if you plunge into a topic that is possibly new to you, you will be convinced of this yourself.

Hello Egor! I read several of your articles, I seem to have already made certain conclusions on seducing a girl, but the only problem is that with a girl I really like, I started to communicate in a wrong way from the very beginning and managed to move her away from me in a month, well, if I now change and become just myself, it is possible that I will be able not only to regain my old opinion of myself, but also just become myself and I think I could do it, but the fact is that we are at a decent distance from each other, and I can't invite her for a walk, but I can only correspond with her via VK, I don't even have her phone number, the trouble is that I was able to bring it to the point that now, as it seems to me, she just sometimes supports with I had a conversation, only because we became friends with her, and she knows that I really like it and therefore does not want to upset me by answering that she is busy, yes, she is really busy now, but in the evening she usually talked to me on a hunt and even I apologized that I could not answer earlier, but now until you write some provocative message, hell will answer. Egor, tell me, if it's not difficult, what to do in such a situation?

If this happens often, do not take it personally, it happens to everyone. But how to be interesting to your interlocutor in any situation, I want to tell you in this article.

First, as has long been known, it is not the one who speaks more, but the one who listens more. simple: become an ideal listener, completely immerse yourself in the story, ask clarifying questions, express your sincere interest, from time to time insert comments, sometimes emotionally colored. The questions you ask should be open-ended and cannot be answered in one word - yes or no.

In sales, for example, there is such a KGB technique - the client says more. So, let your interlocutor always speak more. They also say: "Why does a person have two ears and only one mouth?" Have you guessed? That's right - listen twice as much as you speak.

Well, if you want to take an active position in a conversation, to speak in such a way that people will listen to you, you need to develop your skills. Try to talk emotionally, use more descriptive adjectives, change your tempo, intonation, volume, and pause where you need it, so you reap the benefits.

The important point is who you are talking to. A geek is one thing, and an artist is another. Everyone speaks their own language. Listen to what words the person uses in their speech. Use them from time to time. Try to determine the nature of your interlocutor and structure your speech with this in mind. Photo: Depositphotos

How to choose a topic for conversation? suggests that it is best to start communicating on general topics: about the weather, new movies, music, books, news. To always keep abreast of developments, regularly review the news in areas of interest to you and your environment. Spend at least an hour a week on this - not that much, but believe me, the results will soon make themselves felt.

Try to find out about the interests of the interlocutor - just ask him about it. Anyone will be happy to tell you about their favorite pastime.

To find a common language with any person, you need to broaden your horizons. To do this, make it a habit to constantly study some new topic for you - and spend 1-2 hours weekly on this. For example, decide: today you are studying what stocks are, or something else. It is important that it is interesting to you yourself.

To begin with, you can look at the material on the topic you are interested in in the encyclopedia. If you want to - go deeper into the study further. You can find books on a topic of interest in an online book store, you can use other web resources, fortunately, you don't need to go anywhere on purpose. You can quickly select and compare the information you need.

I'm pretty sure that by following these simple tips, you can improve your communication skills, and soon they will start to speak of you as a very interesting person.

Much depends on the ability to find a common language with anyone. This includes career advancement, a successful personal life, and a large circle of friends. But how do you become an interesting conversationalist? What to say, what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's take a look at how to improve your communication skills.

You've probably met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly maintain a conversation and even entertain the company, if necessary. For the latter, it is difficult to speak to a stranger, it is difficult to choose topics for conversation or to speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy-to-communicate people, how to become an interesting conversationalist?

First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who walk easily through life have a much simpler attitude to many things. They are interested in a lot, and they understand a variety of issues. With such a person it is easy to find a common theme for anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.

Another distinguishing feature of an interesting interlocutor is a subtle sense of humor. His jokes are capable of defusing the situation, but at the same time they are not vulgar or offensive. Amusing incidents from life, unusual analogies and the ability to laugh at themselves make such people even more attractive interlocutors.

How to become an interesting person

A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how do you become an interesting person and conversationalist? No matter how hard we try to study the technologies of conducting a conversation and do not select interesting topics, without a deep study of personal qualities it will be useless. One must be interesting first of all to oneself. It is necessary not only to study a lot and learn new things, but also to be able to operate with these facts. An interesting person will not stammer and recall a historical event or a new anecdote. Train your memory and attention to overcome communication difficulties.

What to read to develop your communication skills

Many books, manuals and brochures are published in the world every day for those who want to master the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of ​​information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? After all, if you take the first edition that comes across, you can be disappointed.

Choose the literature that has already passed the test of time and took its rightful place on the shelves. Classical works of psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for the further development of communication skills. Not only will you learn how to communicate well, but you will also be able to understand people better.

The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But when choosing a resource to increase knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to weed out obviously false information.

Periodicals will also be useful for self-education in the field of communication. Articles in them undergo obligatory editing and are often co-authored with professionals. They definitely won't hurt. You can even create a selection of clippings for yourself to use.

Basic rules of an interesting conversationalist

Having studied the theory of the psychology of communications, you can begin to practice. There are several techniques that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:

Forbidden topics of conversation

Not everything and not always worth starting a conversation. If you are thinking about how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never bring up these questions:

1. Politics - this topic is too complex and multifaceted. Especially international, because all kinds of events are constantly taking place in the world. People can hold a wide variety of points of view, and saying one of them categorically can easily lead to unnecessary conflict and tension.
2. Health - this topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of their last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about their illnesses.
3. Personal life - people do not like to be harassed with obsessive questions. Topics such as marriage, childbirth, divorce, etc. are everyone's personal business. Discussion of them is permissible only face to face and only with the closest people.

What to talk about

But then the question arises: what is it permissible to have conversations about? There are many topics for conversation:

• Advances in science, including new technology: telephones, cars, etc.
• Fashion, beauty, style - just don't indulge in banal gossip.
• Movies, books, plays and other interesting events.

How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl

In the development of relationships with the opposite sex, communication plays an important role. Often young people are looking for an answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same thing about men. But recent research by psychologists convincingly proves that there are no big gender differences. Just follow all the recommendations given, and you will definitely be successful with the opposite sex.