The husband is a despot. Living with a Tyrant: Do You Need It? How to escape from domestic tyranny

Domestic tyrant husbands are quite common. A woman often hides that her husband is a tyrant, but she needs the advice of a psychologist in order to know how to behave with him.

How to resist a tyrant and manipulator husband?

A tyrant is a neurotic, possessed by a power complex and self-asserting at the expense of other people. He is not able to concede superiority in any situation, but if he cannot satisfy his thirst for power at work, he begins to "build" household members. Any woman who has concluded that her husband is - has to look for an answer to the question of how to live with him.

• you need to accept the fact that the husband is a tyrant and manipulator, it is useless to remake him, this will cause rage and aggression;
• you cannot forgive a husband for disrespect and violence, he needs to be rebuffed, forced to reckon with himself, and if the answer is assault, it is necessary to part with such a spouse;
• you need to maintain your social circle, even if the husband does not like the relatives and friends of the spouse, it is these people in a difficult situation who can become support and support;
• you need to know the helpline of the social service in order to quickly receive advice from psychologists to get rid of negative emotions and resolve conflicts.

Tyrant husband - to endure or get rid of?

Sooner or later, any tyrant's wife asks the question - to endure her further or to divorce. There can be no universal advice in this case, because it often happens that, despite the disgusting nature of the husband, there are warm feelings and memories between the spouses.

In addition, there are other reasons for keeping a family that must be taken into account. Firstly, it is the presence of children. The father in almost any case will be better able to provide for the family than the mother alone. Another important factor is the status of a married woman, with which not every lady decides to part.

How to get rid of the tyrant's husband?

If life with a tyrant and manipulator has become unbearable, you need to leave him. Since such a husband will most likely not let his wife leave in peace, the woman needs to prepare.

First, it is necessary take care of material well-being: create savings, collect valuables, get a job. Secondly, the departure from the tyrant must be planned at a time when he is not at home, otherwise the husband can use both force and psychological tricks - pleas, begging, threats.

Very often, after some time, the tyrant husband begins to understand his mistakes and seeks to establish and return his wife. A woman in this case should rely on common sense and experience. Perhaps the man has learned the fact that his wife will not let herself be offended and he can be given a second chance.

The husband is a tyrant and a despod

The despot's husband is a real chameleon and a subtle psychologist. The tyrant is often not so easy to recognize at the first meeting. Outwardly, he may look like an exemplary family man: courageous, strong, caring, not sparing money for gifts, appreciating and loving his woman very much. He is in a hurry to take responsibility for his beloved and calls for marriage after only a few months of relationship.

The enchanted girl falls in love with her ardent boyfriend, not noticing the first alarm bells, and falls into a real tyrant's trap, from which it is not easy to get out.

Types of despots

Psychologists conventionally divide tyrants into three types:

• Everyone is in control.

Where have you been? What did you do? With whom? How long? And this is not the whole list of questions that a girl must answer to her “caring” husband every evening. And God forbid, you evade an answer or do not get in touch in time! Expect a reprimand and scandal.

Such a man torments his spouse with jealousy, prohibits communicating with any men, including brothers, classmates, colleagues and father. And girlfriends are blacklisted, with whom a woman must immediately stop communicating.

But this is not enough, in addition to constant interrogations, tyrants' husbands do not disdain to constantly check their phones, read SMS, check calls, and research social networks. Nothing should escape his eyes. With manic persistence, he checks his wife's outfits, her makeup and hair: there can be no talk of any attractive image.

• Constantly humiliates and insults.

This type of tyrant asserts itself due to low female self-esteem. In an alliance with such a man, offensive words, caustic remarks, verbal humiliation and insults are commonplace. The husband is a tyrant and despot will constantly poke his wife into her shortcomings and point out mistakes. It's hard to please him. Whatever the woman does, he will find something to attach to: the dish is oversalted, made up too bright or, on the contrary, very imperceptibly, dressed tastelessly, did not show herself so well in bed, did not immediately respond to his SMS, etc.

Not always humiliation in such couples occurs in an aggressive or pretentious form. A tyrant may well say to his wife with a smile on his face and in a joking manner: “What are you stupid, and who would marry you like that if not for me?”.

• Opens up his hands.

The third type of tyrants is the most terrible, because such individuals can calmly raise a hand against a woman, often for no apparent reason, relying only on their mood. He never feels guilty, believing that their victim asked for it and deserved such treatment by his behavior. Despots of this type love to drink and often suffer from alcoholism, which only contributes to the development of their propensity to manifest physical violence.

Of course, you can find a bright representative of one type, but more often the tyrant is a mixture of two or three types at once.

Signs of a tyrant husband - 18 signs

You can identify a tyrant in the early stages of a relationship. To do this, you need to communicate with a person for a long time, meet on neutral territory, avoid intimacy, carefully monitor a person's behavior and the slightest changes in his reactions.

However, women often begin to guess that they are in a relationship with a despot, having already exchanged wedding rings. How does a tyrant husband behave? ?

1. Total control over all household members. Who communicates with whom, where he studies, works and where he goes - a tyrant should know everything about his wife and children. He makes all the main decisions in the life of his family alone, without asking the opinions of other members. He confronts everyone with a fact, any attempt to challenge the decision is suppressed, there are many prohibitions in the family. Often this sign manifests itself at the stage of courtship, when a man tries to control the circle of friends and the girl's life.
2. Excessive confidence in one's own authority, constant attempts to show a woman where her true feminine place is.
3. Increased control over the main areas of life: finances, property, storage of documents, etc. This approach makes all family members dependent on the tyrant.
4. The desire to subjugate a woman and put her in a dependent position. This is manifested in the prohibition to work, the control of funds. Sometimes this may look like an order, and sometimes it is masked by concern for the health, beauty and psyche of the spouse.
5. Constant criticism of all family members, nagging from the tyrant. Everything is always done wrong.
6. Destroys the self-esteem of all family members, while he himself has an overestimated self-esteem.
7. Eternal questions: Where are you? With whom you are? Why so long? and so on. Refusal to report in detail provokes aggression.
8. Humiliation and insults: "Who needs you?", "What would you do without me?", "What are you generally capable of?"
9. Periodic beatings. At the same time, he believes that the wife herself is to blame, brought him to her wrong behavior, and the victim often really considers himself to be guilty of what is happening.
10. Loves your tears and tantrums. Feels sincere pleasure from your crying, provokes tantrums, and then feels satisfied and may even ask for forgiveness.
11. Manic jealousy of every pillar, person, passer-by.
12. Does not encourage your successes, treats them intolerantly, belittles merit, believes that it does not matter.
13. He never asks for anything, does not apologize, only orders, shuts his mouth and blames.
14. You are constantly in fear around him.
15. Speaks badly about other people. He constantly blames someone for his failures, looks for the guilty, asserts himself at the expense of others.
16. Restricts or prohibits communication with close people, relatives, friends.
17. He often calls, writes SMS, tries to control as much as possible on the phone, rolls up scandals if they did not manage to pick up the phone or did not answer the SMS.

The active manifestation of at least one point should already make you think about whether everything is in order with your chosen one and the relationship between you.

Reasons for tyranny

More often than not, the causes of oppressive behavior are rooted in childhood. Perhaps the tyrant himself experienced all the delights of life with a despot and simply adopted the model of building a family from his parents or decided to recoup someone for a spoiled childhood. A genetic tendency towards despotic manifestations or improper upbringing, when the boy manipulated his parents, and they, in turn, indulged his whims, is also not excluded.

Signs of a tyrant can wake up due to deep self-doubt and a desire to eliminate rivals in this way, excessive love for a woman, intense stress, a hard day at work, high social status, financial advantage, etc.

Why is it hard to leave?

So, it became clear that the person with whom you live is a real tyrant. You are constantly thinking how to get rid of his oppression and what to do. Obviously, the best solution is to leave and leave a sick relationship once and for all, but many women do not dare to do this and live with tyrants for years.

It is very easy to blame such women for indecision, but in practice the situation can be difficult.

The fact is that the tyrant initially chooses a quiet, not ambitious girl as a sacrifice, inclined to build a family hearth, household chores and marriage. And he really gives her all this, and at first even more. The despot can look after beautifully, fulfill all desires, give gifts and indulge women's whims. He matches the image of an ideal husband and passionate lover.

Meanwhile, the patriarchal model is already beginning to be established in the family. And this may look quite adequate: a man earns money in sufficient quantity, a woman runs a household. Children appear. The entire environment of the wife is gradually destroyed: girlfriends, relatives, colleagues and just friends.

And even after the tyrant has shown his true nature, he can occasionally give his wife gifts and care, strengthening her belief that if she behaves correctly, he will correct. The main anchors that prevent a woman from taking a course for a new happy life are:

• Desire and belief that the husband can be remade;
• Children;
• Subconscious satisfaction from the role of a victim: no need to make decisions, take responsibility for your life, special pleasure from quarrels and subsequent reconciliation;
• Lack of work and financial dependence;
• There are no friends and relatives to turn to for help;
• Bright memories of a beautiful beginning of a relationship and a positive image of a husband;
• Feeling of own guilt for the fact that the husband has changed;
• Lack of self-confidence and self-confidence.

How to get away from the tyrant?

If life with a tyrant and alcoholic husband has become unbearable, the best way out is to divorce and end the relationship.

First of all, wake up a healthy selfishness in yourself and realize that this man does not love you, you are just a victim for him, on which he can throw out all his negativity, failure and insecurity. Thoroughly think over your further plan, it may be worth postponing actions and looking for housing, creating a financial airbag. It will not be superfluous to seek advice from a psychologist. A specialist will help you understand yourself, give recommendations on how to behave with a tyrant, how to stop male cruelty.

Reestablish connections with friends and relatives, tell us about what is happening to you, announce the problem, so that if something happens, you have someone to turn to for help.

If there is no assault in the family, you can directly declare your intention to divorce and if your husband does not give consent, seek help from a lawyer or to a crisis center, where you can not only get legal assistance, but also provide you with a roof over your head.

Stop courting your husband and get a job, save up the amount you need for the first time of an independent life. Adjust your self-esteem, start communicating with people and go out again, this will help to distract and acquire new hobbies and interests.

If your husband hits, pack up when he is not at home and move immediately. You can rent an apartment on your own, ask for help from relatives or friends, to law enforcement agencies. If there are no close people and the opportunity to rent an apartment, you will always be sheltered and protected in a crisis center.

Do not be afraid that your ex-tyrant husband will begin to persecute you. As a rule, such people are very cowardly, and if you make the case public, he will not threaten you. If you are very afraid, you can eventually move to another city and start life from scratch. In any case, you should not endure bullying and beatings, following your fears.

Also, don't hold on to your family for the sake of your kids. Could the daily debriefing scenes and the atmosphere of fear in the family be better than a calm childhood with a happy mother, albeit a lonely one? Although, who said that you will not marry again, but already happily? Otherwise, your children may repeat the same pattern of behavior in their family or simply grow up insecure, downtrodden and unhappy. Do you want that?

To maintain confidence in the correctness of your choice, talk to women who have experienced parting with a tyrant. Among them you will not find those who are dissatisfied with their decision. Many regret only that they did not do it earlier.

How to live with a tyrant husband?

If you see no other choice but to stay in this relationship, or blindly believe that your husband will improve, you have two models of behavior:

1. Submit and obey your spouse in everything;
2. To win back your position and stand up for yourself.

Which option you choose is up to you. There are several recommendations from psychologists that will make life with a tyrant easier, but they are more suitable for girls who decide to fight back.

1. See a specialist (psychologist or psychiatrist). Each case is individual and in the psychologist's office, you will be able to analyze your particular situation and draw up an action plan.
2. Stop violence and superiority at the root. Tyrants are, in fact, cowards. Rebuffing can scare them and reduce the number of attacks in your direction.
3. Despots are greedy for flattery and love to contradict. Take advantage of this. Do not ask permission to go to a meeting with a friend, say that you have already refused. Chances are good that he will simply insist that you go to the meeting out of a sense of contradiction.
4. Do not give up slack, do not lower your head, do not take a subordinate position. The tyrant is just waiting for the manifestation of weakness to go on the offensive.
5. Become a strong personality, love yourself.
6. Take care of yourself.
7. Start dressing nicely.
8. Take self-defense courses.
9. Start working and saving money. In the most advanced cases, you can work from home.
10. Take care of your self-development.
11. Do not react to manipulation, just withdraw.
12. Provide yourself a room with a strong door and a secure lock so that in case of anything you can call for help and wait out the outburst of anger.
13. Make the situation public, let everyone know that you are subject to tyranny. Talk to your loved ones, maybe they will agree to help you.
14. If your husband doesn't like the way you perform your duties, stop doing them altogether.

All of these rules work well if the tyrant only mocks you verbally. There are some things to avoid if your husband raises his hand to you:

• Don't refuse to do your homework;
• Do not give reasons for jealousy;
• Do not threaten divorce and do not speak about the intention to leave;
• Don't make fun of your spouse's personality.

How to prevent tyranny?

Of course, the best way to prevent tyranny is to build relationships from the very beginning with a correct and balanced approach to the choice of a life partner.

If you notice the first signs of tyranny after marriage, follow these rules:

• Stop any attempts to control, pressure, humiliate, insult.
• Don't quit your job and keep making your living.
• Don't be afraid to lose your man.
• Don't hold on to fond memories.

Remember, any positive change in your relationship with the tyrant has only a temporary effect. The tyrant will never be able to re-educate, and a happy relationship will never work. So, is it worth turning your home into a real battlefield for this, sacrificing your happiness and the happiness of your children?

Useful articles:

Family life is not always as wonderful as a woman expects. If the once caring and tender spouse suddenly changes and becomes a household monster, this does not mean that the lady has made a mistake or is doing the wrong housekeeping. Most likely, it is the man himself. A tyrant husband is a diagnosis that cannot be overcome. You can come to terms with this fact and adapt to new living conditions, or leave your selfish spouse and start looking for a new love. But sometimes women only at the very last moment realize what kind of monster lives next to them.

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Who is a tyrant husband

Recognizing a future tyrant is not easy. At first, the relationship develops romantically: the gentleman is gentle and caring. But after the wedding, the woman begins to realize that her tyrant husband is sleeping next to her. For a girl with a weak spirit, this fact becomes a tragedy. Being held hostage by feelings, under the influence of a man, the fair sex cannot decide to leave him.

The main problem is that many ladies do not even realize that their spouses are the real tyrants. When love obscures your eyes, it's hard to see the truth. But it is worth learning to recognize such a man in time, because when it comes to the birth of a child, it will be even more difficult to take a decisive step.

Psychology

This despot is a subtle psychologist and acts like a chameleon. At the first meeting, he makes the best impression and very quickly charms the girl, who, after the wedding, risks becoming a victim of tyranny. Such a man will not skimp on gifts and romantic confessions. He will be strong, caring and courageous.

Tyrants do not like to wait long for the victim to fall into their net. Therefore, do not delay with the proposal of a hand and heart. The despot makes a responsible step after a few months of acquaintance.

The enchanted lady does not notice that in the future her new boyfriend may turn into an oppressor. Her heart is so saturated with love that it is impossible to identify a villain. If the couple lives together, then you should pay attention to several important nuances that will help you quickly identify the tyrant.



Total control

If a man asks his spouse every day where she was, whom he met, why did she go to the store for so long, and so on, then this is not a manifestation of the fact that he is interested in the life of his beloved. This is the first sign of a tyrant. If a woman tries to evade an answer or does not pick up the phone when her faithful calls, then a scandal cannot be avoided. The spouse will certainly blame the wife for all mortal sins.

You should not make allowances for jealousy or excessive impulsiveness. Everything must have a border. If the husband suspects something was wrong, if the faithful just communicates with her friends, then he wants to totally control her.

At some point, questions will escalate into biased interrogations. A man literally begins to demand an account of all the actions of his wife in his absence. If he notices that she is not saying something, he will get very angry and initiate a large-scale quarrel.



Constant humiliation

The goal of the tyrant is to instill in a woman as many complexes as possible so that it is harder for her to leave him. In addition, such behavior helps the tyrant to assert himself by reducing women's self-esteem. Such men often make caustic remarks and accuse the faithful of the fact that she cooks badly, looks bad and does not have a great mind.

In some situations, everything comes down to more serious insults. A husband can come up with an offensive nickname for his wife and does not hesitate to call her the very last words, even in public.

If the tyrant's wife commits the smallest misstep, he will surely fall for her and fully enjoy the offensive statements addressed to her. Therefore, the spouse of such a monster must constantly answer his calls and text messages so that the beloved is not unhappy. But even in this case, he will find something to find fault with.

Insults can also be in a humorous form. A spouse with a smile on his face declares "how stupid and stupid you are" or "as soon as I managed to marry you." It is worth paying attention to such jokes, as this is the first sign that a man wants to underestimate a lady's self-esteem.

Assault

This stage usually follows insults, when the moral pain of the faithful is no longer enough for a man. He wants to humiliate her on a physical level. This is the most terrible type of domestic despot. In the heat of anger, he is able to raise his hand against a woman, and after that he will not feel remorse.

If bruises have become constant companions of the spouse, then it is worth running away from such a person. Otherwise, the woman runs the risk of becoming a hostage of the situation. Intimidated women are afraid to confess everything to their family and friends and do not go to the police because they fear for their safety. But it is also not worth waiting for the sad end, when, in the heat of rage, the husband cannot stop.

There are also tyrants who combine all of the above models in their behavior.

Communication ban

Sooner or later, total control develops into this stage. Now it is not enough for a man to report daily about who his wife met with. He demands to stop any contact not only with members of the opposite sex, but also with close friends. However, he does not always act openly.

Some men begin to complain that they miss their faithful too much when they spend time with loved ones and even relatives. Playing on feelings of guilt, they force a woman to independently decide to stop communicating, as she wants her husband to be happy.

There is another trick that tyrants go for. The husband begins to joke and speak negatively about his wife's sister or brother, with whom she spends, in his opinion, too much time. The spouse accuses the relative of his harmful influence on the spouse, looks for flaws in him and gradually makes his beloved herself believe that all this is true.

If every meeting with comrades, work colleagues or old school friends turns into a disaster due to the constant intrusive calls from the husband, then it is worth taking a closer look at him. Perhaps a woman lives with a real tyrant.

Another sign of tyranny is that the husband always demands to coordinate all meetings with him. At the same time, he himself at any time can go fishing or on a night out in a bar with his comrades. His wife's opinion on this matter does not interest him.

Double standarts

Any family relationship implies adherence to established values ​​and patterns of behavior. The man symbolizes the breadwinner, and the spouse takes care of the hearth. Regardless of stereotypes, both should follow the unspoken family rules of mutual respect, and help each other to the best of their ability.

In the case of a tyrant, double standards always come into play. The despot will expect delicious food, a clean house and neat children from his wife. At the same time, he will allow himself to lose all the money or oversleep work. He will not even think of helping around the house, arguing that these duties are not male, but he himself will not do his part of the housework either.

The tyrant is quietly lying on the couch all weekend, watching with gusto as his wife sweats from ironing and cleaning. He will get drunk on the wedding anniversary and forget about the birthday of his beloved. For the tyrant, only his standards apply, which are beneficial only to him.

He himself is an egoist who not only seeks benefits for himself, but also revels in the suffering of other people. Waiting for leniency or pity from such a person is a waste of time.

Lack of self-realization

Each person seeks to prove to himself and others that he is able to achieve success. Moving forward allows you to develop and acquire new skills not only in communication, but also in everyday life. A person who has realized himself becomes more confident in his abilities in general.

Such a development of events does not suit the domestic tyrant at all. If his woman realizes that she is able to move up the career ladder or open her own successful business, it will be more difficult for the despot to control and humiliate her. Therefore, he will try to "strangle" any productive idea of ​​his wife at the root.

Tyrants are great manipulators. That is why they easily find a million reasons why the spouse should not be engaged in the chosen business. They quickly redirect their wives' attitudes to the way they want and continue their sophisticated moral torture. Therefore, it is important not to give in to such advice and think for yourself in all situations.

A loving man will always believe in his wife. Even if her project at first glance seems to him stupid, he will definitely support her and help her. If he begins to ridicule any undertaking - this is a reason to think.

Demanding pity

In order to more conveniently manipulate his wife and force her to do everything around the house and to please her husband in every possible way, the tyrant will always find something to complain about: terrible working conditions, the saleswoman was naughty in the store, all around are idiots and much more.

A woman who experiences stinging is much easier to control. When plausible excuses run out, the tyrant begins to complain about the bad weather, the situation in the country and other phenomena that are not directly related to him. Therefore, you should not succumb to these provocations. A real man, on the contrary, keeps all his experiences to himself and will not make his wife nervous or upset for no good reason.

How to live with a tyrant

If the husband is a despot, then there are only two options for the development of events in which you can continue to exist with him:

• Accept the rules of the game, obey him in everything and continue living like that.
• Defend yourself and win your status in the family.

Many people prefer the first option. Women are usually docile by nature, and some of them are brought up so as to obey the stronger sex in everything. But even the most meek girl sooner or later gets bored with endless nagging. Therefore, the easiest way is to leave a tyrant husband.

The second option is also difficult to implement. To win your rights in such a relationship, you will have to try very hard. But even if the woman succeeds, the marriage risks ending in divorce.

Tyrants are not interested in strong women.

If we talk about the opinion of experts, then they offer several recommendations that will help to survive with a tyrant:

• It is worth visiting a psychologist, alone with your husband or alone. The specialist will consider the individual situation and help you draw up an action plan that will help improve the situation a little.
• Prevent domestic violence from the very beginning. You need to understand that by their nature tyrants are monstrously cowardly and notorious. Chances are high that one has only to threaten an overly aggressive husband with the police or a meeting with a divorce specialist, and he will calm down.
• Tyrants always do everything in spite of and love to contradict others. It is recommended to use this. At first, you should not ask permission to meet with a friend, after which you can tell your husband that your wife herself has already given up shopping with a friend. There is a high probability that the despot will act on the contrary and will insist that his wife still go to the meeting.
• If you constantly take the position of a victim, then over time you can lose yourself, therefore experts do not recommend always submissively bowing your head.
• If a spouse blames that his wife does not fulfill her household obligations well, it is worth stopping doing anything at all around the house.

Psychologists recommend that women living with tyrants learn to love themselves, start taking care of themselves, dress nicely, attend courses or find an interesting hobby. If your husband forbids working in the office, you should find a part-time job at home and save money.

You should not be afraid to tell your family and friends about the current situation. The more they know, the sooner and more effectively they can help.

What not to do

The advice of psychologists described above is only suitable if the guy humiliates and mocks the girl only morally. If he openly threatens passion and assaults, then you need to proceed with caution. Fighting such a despot is the most difficult and in most cases dangerous.

Therefore, in this case it is not worth it:

• Refuse to do homework.
• Give reasons for jealousy.
• Threaten the spouse with divorce or that the wife intends to get rid of him with the help of the police.
• To ridicule the despot's appearance and personality.

In such a situation, a more subtle psychological approach is required. To get away from such a man forever, you should seek the help of a specialist. It may be necessary to look for housing, the whereabouts of which the husband does not know, in order to hide there after the divorce.

Conclusion

Many people believe that a man can be changed. In the case of a tyrant, one can only count on a temporary effect, since it is impossible to re-educate such a person. You should not sacrifice your life in order not to be left alone. Even if the tyrant does not let go, you can always leave him and start from scratch.

It must be remembered that every woman is a person. The most important recommendation is to self-develop and learn to be a stronger spirit in order to be self-sufficient.

The days when a man dominated all spheres of public life are long gone. Today women hold government posts, lead the production process, and successfully realize themselves in business. And it is only within the framework of family relations that some primitive or domestic order is still preserved. Even the most successful and independent woman can sometimes hear that her husband is a tyrant. What to do in this case? Psychologists will help you find a way out of the situation.

Why does a man become a tyrant?

Women are at a loss as to what to do if the husband is a tyrant and despot. First you need to understand the nature of this phenomenon. What lies at the heart of male tyranny?

• High position in society. Usually such people are dismissive of others, transferring this habit to the family.
• Financial component. If a man provides a family, sooner or later he may begin to reproach his spouse with money.
• Low self-esteem. Not finding ways of self-realization in life, a man begins to suppress the one who is weaker. This is usually the spouse.
• Negative example. It is possible that patriarchy reigned in your husband's family, and your father was a real tyrant. Such people often transfer this pattern of behavior to their relationships with women.

Will he be a tyrant in family life?

Girls do not even admit the thought that their tender boyfriend is a future tyrant husband. What to do? Tips to help you recognize the problem ahead of time:

• How does he speak about others? If he violently criticizes his friends and acquaintances, former lovers, for sure, he will begin to assert himself at the expense of you. Why is the husband a tyrant? Because he feels inferior and disadvantaged.
• Does he require you to report? If a guy controls your every step, controls your movements and communication on the network, this is probably an alarming signal.
• Does he require you to give up communication with other guys? If he forces you to remove all male friends from social networks and strive to accompany you to any events where men will be present, this is a future pathological jealous person.
• Does he make decisions for you? A guy who plans your leisure time on his own, imposes his hobbies on you, confronts you with the fact of the need to attend an event, in marriage, he will also not reckon with you.

Three types of domestic tyranny

If the husband is a tyrant at home, what to do should be determined based on the characteristics of his behavior. Three types can be distinguished:

1. Total control. A man wants literally in seconds to know the schedule of the movement of his wife and all other household members. Having been late from work for half an hour, you will have to report and make excuses for a long time. At the same time, all attempts to defend their right to freedom of movement end in loud scandals, threats and other unpleasant moments.
2. Moral humiliation. A man constantly instills in his wife that she does everything wrong, that she is worse than other women. The spouse insists that he is doing the chosen one a favor by living with her. It is not easy for the ladies if the husband is a moral tyrant. What to do? Sometimes, you can only be saved by divorce.
3. Physical violence. Assault is an extreme form of domestic tyranny. Sometimes aggression is based not only on an unstable mental state, but is also reinforced by regular and abundant alcohol consumption.

Tyrant husband: signs

Every family has quarrels, troubles, misunderstandings. If these situations are episodic, this is quite natural. No one is safe from taking out their anger or stress on loved ones. But if scandals occur constantly, there is reason to say that the husband is a tyrant. Signs can be as follows:

• Constant unfounded criticism. At first, you may not pay much attention to the fact that your spouse scoffs at your hobbies, tries to control your wardrobe, scolds your culinary and household abilities. But gradually a man instills in a woman a sense of failure and destroys self-esteem.
• Limiting communication. A man constantly monitors a woman's social circle. This applies not only to friends, but also to working relationships. At first, the husband can make "compliments" to the chosen one, convincing her that she is a level higher than those around her. But over time, the lady becomes dependent on her gentleman, since there is no one else in her environment.
• It is impossible to please him. The husband does not like everything - from the decor in your apartment to the intimate component of your life together. No matter how hard you try to bring something good to your family life, he turns everything against you.
• Requirements and orders. The word "please" no longer sounds from his lips. The husband talks to his wife exclusively in an orderly tone, not accepting refusals and arguments. Fearing an aggressive reaction from a man, a woman loses her right to vote and obeys in everything.
• Limiting material spending. Even if a woman earns money herself, the husband begins to closely control her expenses and create scandals over every little thing bought. If a woman does not work (at her own will or at the request of her husband), he begins to reproach her with every penny.
• Physical and psychological abuse. As a rule, the house tyrant goes to this stage when he has already convinced his spouse of her helplessness and failure. As a rule, the victim does not resist and believes that she herself deserves this treatment.
• Instilling a sense of guilt. The tyrant makes his spouse feel like the cause of his failures, bad mood, dissatisfaction with life, family and financial problems.
• Sardonic jokes, ridicule. A man is dismissive of his wife, trying to humiliate her appearance, considering her hobbies to be ridiculous, criticizing her manners.
• Pathological jealousy. Realizing his failure, the tyrant prevents any contact between his wife and other men. This applies to friends, work, and just casual acquaintances.
• Interferes with self-development and career building. Motivated by the need to maintain the family hearth, a man makes his chosen one quit work or school, and after a while begins to reproach for this.

Who is most likely to face tyranny?

It is painful and unpleasant to realize that the husband is a tyrant. What to do? You need to think about this even at the stage of acquaintance. Let you be driven not by romance, but by a cold mind, because men with despotic inclinations do not make their choice by chance. Most of all, they prefer to meet and start a family with such girls:

• Insecure. Often these are girls with some kind of complexes regarding appearance, health or interpersonal relationships. Usually they are unlucky in their personal lives, and therefore they are very happy when they meet a person who loves them. Having surrounded the girl with care and attention in the early stages of the relationship, later the tyrant man inspires her that she owes everything to him and that no other man will look at her.
• Orphans, girls from disadvantaged families or living far from their relatives. They feel lonely and there is no one to protect them. Thus, a house tyrant can feel absolutely impunity, humiliating his spouse.
• Girls who are in a difficult life situation. There is nothing easier than substituting a man's shoulder for a woman who is in trouble. Naturally, she is grateful to her caring hero and may even fall in love with him. But when people enter family life, the man changes dramatically. Humiliating his wife, he does not forget to reproach her for being there at a difficult moment.
• Young girls with no life experience. A young lady, inspired by dreams and hopes, may not notice the catch, because the courtship of an adult man is always pleasant. But later, age becomes an argument for humiliating the dignity of the spouse and manipulating her.

How to escape from a tyrant

Many women are faced with the fact that their kind, affectionate and loving husband is a tyrant. What to do in this case? Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to fix such a person (unless you are at the initial stage of the relationship). All that remains is to find a way to get rid of her tyrant husband. Of course, we are not talking about its physical elimination. You yourself must make a strong-willed decision to break up by taking the following measures:

• Find a livelihood. If you are working, it will be easier for you to leave. If you do not have your own source of income, it will be more difficult. Try to find a job without advertising it to your husband. If you no longer have the strength to endure, for the first time you can ask for financial support from parents or relatives.
• Expand your social circle. If a tyrant has limited your contacts, you will have to restore them. Try to improve relationships with old friends, make new acquaintances, communicate more with relatives. Inform those you trust in your problem to gain moral support.
• Doubt aside. If you are afraid to leave your husband and change something drastically in your life, consult with those who have already gone through this. Other women can help you, who will not only tell you how to get rid of your tyrant husband, but also advise how to protect yourself and your children from his encroachments, how to start a new and happy life.
• Make sure you have a place to live. Even if you live in your own apartment, the tyrant is unlikely to agree to voluntarily leave it. It's good if you can live with friends or family with whom you feel safe. If this is not possible, rent an apartment in a different area. If financial opportunities allow you, stop for a while in a hotel (among people you will feel protected). The move must be organized at a time when your beloved is not at home.
• Apply for divorce. Do not think that after you leave the tyrant husband will change. Even if he asks for forgiveness and brings you back, everything will happen again. When filing for divorce, get the support of a lawyer who will tell you how to behave, how to get child support, how to divide the property.

How to live with a tyrant husband?

Of course, the ideal is to get away from your tyrant husband. But the situation does not always allow it to be done. A difficult financial situation, lack of support from friends and relatives and other negative factors force a woman to postpone parting. But this does not mean at all that all this time you have to endure bullying and humiliation. How to live with a tyrant husband? You need to remember the following basic rules:

• Don't leave humiliation unanswered. Even if you are timid, find the strength to stand firmly and firmly in your position. As a rule, a tyrant can demonstrate "heroism" only in front of a weak personality. If you fight him back, he will back down.
• Do not follow his contact restriction requirements. You should always be in touch with family and friends. Try to see them more often. In this way, in the eyes of your spouse, you will no longer be lonely and defenseless.
• Feel free to ask for help. Your address book must contain the numbers of organizations, hotlines, support services that help women who have encountered domestic violence.
• Take care of yourself. Tidy up your appearance and your thoughts. Look for ways to grow yourself. It will make you mentally stronger. And domestic tyrants often give in to strong and beautiful women.

What shouldn't be done?

Not every woman agrees to admit that her husband is a tyrant. What to do? This is a tricky question. When building your own model of behavior, you need to know what exactly cannot be done:

Can a relationship be forged?

Many women suffer from the fact that the husband is an alcoholic and a tyrant. What to do? The overwhelming majority will advise you to get divorced. But some women are so afraid of being alone or value their relationship with their spouse so much that they refuse to admit that the husband is a tyrant. Signs and advice are ignored. If a woman is strongly committed to improving her relationship, the following advice can be given to her:

• Start with yourself. Stop feeling like a victim and put up with your situation. Change your look, freshen up your wardrobe, master a couple of new culinary recipes, try to make your home more comfortable. It may make your spouse fall in love with you again and change their behavior.
• Disaccustom your husband to drink on the side. May you always have a bottle of high-quality alcohol in your kitchen, which can be used to celebrate some significant events for your family. Perhaps this will force the man to give up drinking with friends.
• Don't let him get bored. Seize every moment of his "enlightenment" and use this time to good use. Take him to the cinema, to the theater, to a restaurant, for a walk, or simply arrange a romantic evening by candlelight with all the ensuing consequences.
• Learn to listen to it. If you see that a man is gnawing at some problem, do not allow her to warm him up from the inside and cause bouts of aggression. Try to get him to talk, listen and give good advice.

Can the problem be prevented?

• Make your own living. Financially independent women are less likely to become victims of domestic tyranny, because the issue of money cannot be a reason for reproaches.
• Avoid manipulation. Remember that you don't have to restrict your interactions with friends and family, even if your partner doesn't like them. At the same time, you absolutely should not have feelings of guilt because of this.
• Show your spouse that cruelty will not go unpunished. Your faithful should know that the slightest manifestation of violence on his part will turn into an appeal to the law enforcement agencies. Plus, always emphasize that there are people who can protect you.
• Don't hold on to fond memories. You cannot tolerate bullying today, remembering how gentle and caring a man was when he met. Learn to live for today.
• Show that you are not holding on to the marriage and are not afraid of losing your husband. It's like at work. If you don't hold on to your seat and are ready to leave at any moment, your superiors will appreciate you. Likewise, the husband will take care of a strong and independent woman, whom he can easily lose.

The husband is an egoist and a tyrant. What to do? This question is asked by millions of women around the world. You can give some more valuable advice on cohabitation and behavior with such men:

• Do not drop your hands or bow your head. First of all, you are a person who has the right to freedom of behavior, movement, communication. Therefore, you should not obey the prohibitions of a tyrant husband.
• Think about children. Don't let family scandals happen before their eyes. This will disrupt their psyche, as well as set a model of behavior for the future.
• Don't let your work be neglected. If your man doesn't like the way you cook, clean, or wash, just stop doing it. Perhaps, finding yourself in such conditions, the spouse will begin to appreciate your contribution to family life.
• See a psychologist. Despite the fact that such a practice is widespread in the West, in the post-Soviet space it is considered superfluous and even shameful. But who better than a specialist can understand the motives of the behavior of a domestic tyrant?

It is bitter to realize that your husband is a psychological tyrant. What to do in this case? Of course, an attempt to save the family and love must take place. But don't forget that you deserve a calm and happy life. Leaving is not necessarily losing. Perhaps, breaking such an alliance, you will open up a new world with a lot of opportunities and new bright feelings.

A constant feeling of oppression and humiliation, accountable for every step, a limited circle of friends and the time allotted for it.

If you recognize yourself in these signs, perhaps your husband is a tyrant. How to make sure of this and what to do, if this is true, we will talk today in the article.

How to recognize a tyrant in a husband

Before drawing conclusions, it is worth familiarizing yourself with the signs that indicate that your husband is a person with tyrannical inclinations.

Signs of a tyrant husband:

• Supervises the family - decides where you work, which kindergarten or school the children go to, what to do for the family in their free time, how to spend a day off with the child. Decisions are made by himself, "without snotty".
• He is firmly convinced of authority, therefore he constantly points to "your" place.
• Supervises important areas - registration of property, disposal of financial resources, storage of documents.
• Places in a position dependent on him in all plans. Can be persuaded to quit work in order to gain financial control.
• Constantly criticizes: she did not put on her makeup, dressed, cooked a tasteless soup.
• Brazenly insults with obscene words or jokes evil at you.
• Blames it all the time. If he knocked over the plate, then you put it wrong.
• He focuses on what you would do without him, no one will like such a stupid woman. This is done to suppress the wife's self-esteem.
• Raises his hand, justifying it with your guilt. He says that they themselves pissed him off, with the wrong behavior.
• Takes pleasure in your tears and tantrums. After them he softens and looks satisfied.
• Often tyrants abuse alcohol and intoxicated, all negative inclinations are stronger.
• Suffers from manic feelings of jealousy. Jealous of every pillar.
• Doesn't tolerate your successes, achievements, development. Declares that it is not so important, and why do you need it.
• Doesn't ask, doesn't apologize, doesn't make excuses. He only orders, shuts his mouth, and his argument is "because I said so."
• Be afraid of him, try not to fall under the hot hand, not to annoy, guess in what mood you will return home.

The presence of one or more signs, to a greater or lesser extent, indicate the presence of a tyrannical inclination. If in fear you are waiting for his return home, then the tyrant is a diagnosis, an accomplished fact and when it came to realize it.

How events develop

Life stories say that the outcome in a family where the husband and father are a tyrant is sad. A woman who is constantly in a stressful situation gets used to the role of a victim and puts up with an unacceptable attitude towards herself.

He is afraid to open his mouth, to say in response, which means that he is just humbly waiting for old age. This is at best, because when despotism takes on a physical color and is manifested by assault, then you can expect a worse result.

Children in such a family grow up either downtrodden and silent, or rebels who seek to quickly break out of the despot's house, and sometimes take revenge on him.

The second scenario is that a woman will break free from the tyrant's pressure, saving the life and life of her own children, while getting a chance for a normal life, happiness, and normal relationships.

Such an outcome is preferable, but in the victim's opinion, it is unrealistic.

Why women tolerate tyrants

It is impossible to live normally with a tyrant. But among women reading this article, there are those who have lived with the despot for more than ten years, enduring all the humiliation.

The main reason is getting used to the role of the victim. The lady already subconsciously gets pleasure from the lack of the need to make decisions and even from constant punishment with subsequent reconciliation. If her parents had the same relationship model, then tyranny would flourish in her own family.

With the advent of a child, the situation becomes more complicated. A mother who cares for a baby is not able to provide herself and provide for it on her own, and therefore cannot do without the help of a despot. Often simply afraid of physical or mental abuse.

One of the common reasons is a strong love for a tyrant. The wife constantly justifies her husband, considers herself guilty, hopes to change him. Here it is already worth talking not just about psychological disorders in both spouses, since such an attitude to the current situation can hardly be called adequate.

How to protect yourself from a tyrant's husband

If the first signs appear when there is already a stamp in the passport, stop attempts at control, pressure, humiliation. Remember ladies, a tyrant is a coward who asserts himself at the expense of others. If you stop the habits from the very beginning, then he may simply stop trying to be convinced of his own importance at your expense.

If the situation gets worse and everything continues, then you should think about what to do to make the tyrant go away on his own. But this is not the correct approach, since if he felt a weakness, he would not "get off" from the victim's neck on his own.

Method one- declare their intention to divorce, but only in the absence of physical violence, since a man's reaction to such a statement is not predictable. Following the advice of psychologists, it is worth preparing yourself the ground for retreat - to report problems to your loved ones, find temporary housing, get a job.

If you want to leave, but are afraid of physical harm, you should get the support of family and friends. If possible, move. This is easier said than done, but it may be the only way out of a difficult situation.

It is important to muster up the courage and take a step towards change.

Some husbands categorically do not give a divorce to a woman, purely out of perseverance. In this case, the lawyer will tell you how to divorce. Do not be intimidated by this word. In the centers for women victims of domestic violence, such consultations, as well as legal assistance are provided free of charge.

There are situations when a lady understands the seriousness of her situation, but is afraid to do something, because of her own conviction that nothing will work out. Here it is worth advising the consultation of a psychologist. If you have limited funds, again, help and support centers will help.

If you endure for the sake of a child, then I guarantee that no child will thank mom for enduring beatings and humiliation. Especially if, after contemplating such paintings, until the age of twenty he will periodically paint at night.

Do not cherish in vain hopes of changing the tyrant. Men don't get better with age. Nothing will change, but there is a tendency for the intensification of violence. Better save yourself before things get too far.

I understand that this article may seem gloomy and angry. But it is important to realize and accept the fact that everyone has one life, there will be no chance to live it differently, and therefore it is necessary now to make it happy, bright and joyful.