Why the baby is crying: the main reasons. Causes of constant crying of a newborn: how to help a child? What to do if the baby cries

Children's cry. Tears. Bitter sobs. Yes, and on an empty, it would seem, place, as a maximum - a real punishment for parents, at least - a test. Parental Competence Test.

How do parents react if a child likes to cry over trifles? Based on my own observations and monitoring of parent forums, I conclude that there are not so many ways. Another thing is that in most cases the method of how to wean a child to cry for any reason is chosen by parents intuitively or taken from the arsenal of old grandfather methods. And there would be nothing wrong with that if the main task were not to try to find the "off button" of children's crying, but to understand the true reason for, at first glance, causeless tears.

Why look for a reason, the main thing is not to cry

In the piggy bank of parental methods of education, how to wean a child to cry for any reason, we find: ignoring tears, holding serious conversations on the topic “crying is stupid”, we give positive examples, if a boy cries, then we appeal to the fact that “real men don’t cry ”, we visit a neurologist and arm ourselves with means that calm the nervous system.

Threats and manipulation like: “You won’t stop crying, I’ll leave you here”, “Stop crying, otherwise I won’t buy you a chocolate bar”, switching the child's attention: "Look what elephants", as well as direct physical violence, punishment complete the picture of the measures taken by educators to solve the difficult task of how to wean a child from crying for any reason.

Most often, parents get their way: the baby stops crying, however, the price of resolving the issue remains behind the scenes. True, not for long. We will definitely reap the deplorable fruits of our upbringing mistakes, even if not realizing what was the root cause of the negative life scenario of the child.

As you know, ignorance does not free us from the consequences of ignorance. When we are not aware of what we are doing, we do not see the internal distinctive features of the child, we cannot even predict how our methods of education will work on him, how they will affect his psyche. System-vector psychology eliminates gaps in parental knowledge.

A trifle or not a trifle?

Let's start with the basics: all children are different not only in appearance, but also differ in the internal properties of the psyche. What is not important for one person may be the meaning of life for another person. Life values, type of thinking, behavior of a native child can radically differ from our own. So, for example, the ordinary loss of an old toy by some parents is perceived as a trifle, tears over which are at least a waste of time. For a child, say, endowed with a visual vector, the loss of a toy is a real tragedy.

From memories

I had a favorite plush rabbit as a child, and somehow I did not find it in its place. Either the brother played unsuccessfully and covered up his tracks, throwing the bunny into the garbage chute, or the neighboring kids came to visit, only after a long search the toy was not found. My bunny Vasya is gone.

- A-ah-ah, I cried.

The parents came to the screams.

- Just think, I lost a toy - what a trifle, we'll buy a new one.

- I don't want a new one, I want Vasya!

Parents did not understand what was going on in my soul, a girl with a visual vector. It was not just a toy, old and shabby, it was my friend to whom I told my fairy tales, whom I took care of, whom I loved. Parents' persuasion did not work for me. If the words do not reach the daughter, then let her sit alone in the room, think, mother decided.

- How to stop crying, so you can go out, she said.

I sat for a long time, crying not only from the loss of Vasya, but also from resentment. It’s good that my grandmother came to visit, she took pity on me, sympathized with my grief, and gave her instructions to her parents:

- Crying, so let him cry. Don't punish her for crying.

Mom began to complain:

- So why not punish? She does not understand words, she cries for any reason and for no reason. I don't have the strength to watch.

- Grow up - stop.

Vulnerable, sensitive children

Proofreader: Olga Lubova

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»

Lyudmila Sergeevna Sokolova

Reading time: 9 minutes

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Article last updated: 08/18/2019

After many months of waiting for the birth of a baby, the mother and the newborn are finally at home. However, just a few days later, parents have to look for an answer to the question of what to do if the child is constantly crying. Maybe something hurts him, and you need to urgently call a doctor, or can you solve this problem yourself?

Why can a newborn cry

Many parents learn to understand without words what can cause their baby to cry. In some families, not only mothers, but also fathers achieve complete mutual trust with the baby. However, due to the fact that the mother spends much more time with the baby than other relatives, plus she also breastfeeds him, they have a special bond.

At the same time, understanding between parents and the baby is usually improved by two or three months. Whereas in the first weeks the newborn and parents get used to each other. That is why each subsequent month, the process of raising and understanding a child seems much easier for a mother in the first weeks after birth.

Despite the fact that every baby is different, there are some of the most common causes of newborn crying:

• hunger;
• discomfort from heat or cold;
• pain in the abdomen.

The most common reason why a child constantly cries is hunger. To understand whether this is really so, you can touch the corner of his mouth with your finger. A hungry newborn will begin to turn his head, opening his mouth and making attempts to grab his finger. Such a baby needs to be fed immediately.

Discomfort from heat or cold is usually expressed by a newborn in the form of a prolonged whimper. You can check the condition of the child by touching his pen in the wrist area (if you feel the baby's fingers, you can draw the wrong conclusions). In the event that the wrists are too cool, the child should be warmed. If the wrists are sweaty and too hot, it is necessary to remove excess clothing from the child.

It should not be forgotten that newborns feel much worse in the heat than in hypothermia. This point must be taken into account when dressing a child for a walk or at night.

What to do if the child constantly cries from pain in the tummy?

Few parents manage to avoid colic - they disturb the baby in the first months. The cause of pain in the tummy, which prevent the child from sleeping well and having a good rest for the parents, is the digestive system that has not yet become stronger and is not well-established, because it only begins to function after birth, digesting food.

A newborn may scream and cry a lot from such pain in the tummy. He can fall into hysterics from crying, jerk his legs, tighten them and strain them a lot. From strong crying, he even blushes. Such crying from colic is difficult to confuse with crying caused by other causes.

It is very difficult to help a child get rid of this problem. You can try to put the baby to the breast, but if the newborn began to cry after eating, this method most likely will not help.

In some situations, you can use a gas outlet tube. It is sold in almost all pharmacies. The essence of the procedure is as follows:

• the baby is laid on its side;
• the thin end of the gas outlet tube is lubricated with baby cream (Vaseline is also excellent) and inserted into the anus (approximately 1 cm);
• the other end of the tube is lowered into a container filled with water (for example, into a glass).

In the event that the cause of the strong crying of the child is the gases accumulated in the tummy, then bubbles will appear in the glass. In addition, the use of a straw promotes bowel movements, which can also alleviate the condition of the child.

At the same time, the vent tube must not be used too frequently. If the newborn cries too often, a tummy massage can be helpful. This method also helps to get rid of gas and colic. When massaging, it is necessary to gently press on the tummy, massaging it in a circular motion.

After the procedure for feeding the baby, it is necessary to give him the opportunity to burp the trapped air. This is important in preventing the accumulation of gases in the intestines. In the process of feeding the baby, as well as at the end of feeding, you need to hold the baby upright. For this purpose, you can put it on your shoulder for 3-5 minutes. However, it should be noted that not in all cases, such a procedure allows you to relieve and prevent problems with colic in babies.

What to do when massage, spitting up air and a gas tube do not bring results? You can try to lay the baby on the tummy by placing a heating pad under it, after wrapping it in a towel or diaper. Before putting the baby on the heating pad, you need to make sure that it is not too hot. Some newborns are well helped by dill decoction.

How to calm a baby if he is crying

If all options have been tried, and the newborn is still crying, you should try to calm him down in other ways. And colic after a few months will pass when the digestive system is working properly.

To calm the baby, you can shake it, dance, holding it in your arms. Some kids like it when an adult's movements in the dance resemble a waltz, others like it when the dance looks like a march. You can hold the baby in different positions - in an upright position, on the tummy, putting him on his knees or placing him on the stomach of an adult. Most children like it when they are placed on the arm so that the head is located on the elbow, and the tummy is warmed by the palm of mom or dad.

From the age of two months and older, babies begin to cry from fatigue. Then the baby may suffer from the fact that he cannot fall asleep as a result of overwork. This is due to excessive emotional overexcitation, which parents should help reduce to the baby. To calm down and fall asleep, he needs to be rocked, sung a lullaby, given a pacifier, or his mother put it on his chest.

Finally, a long-awaited baby with healthy somatics was born in your family and examined by all doctors. But, nevertheless, he is somehow restless and this causes a lot of trouble for the whole family. Mom immediately begins to look for the causes of this concern. There are many seemingly small reasons why a child somehow wants to tell you that he needs help. It often happens that parents themselves contribute to such behavior of the child.

The main reasons for crying

Firstly, the child may simply be cool or hot. Perhaps it is inconveniently swaddled or needs to be turned over to another barrel. Secondly, the baby may have diaper rash, especially if he already has a full diaper. Thirdly, a scab often forms on the crown of the child, causing itching. He may also be worried about real diathesis. In the end, the baby may simply be hungry, or, on the contrary, his tummy is full, which often leads to the formation of gases.

How to understand the reason for the crying of the child?

The main problems of even an adult are, of course, hunger, as well as fear and pain. Therefore, it is in these situations that a newborn baby begins to cry loudly and hysterically.

Crying when hungry. If the baby is hungry, he begins to cry intermittently and gradually his crying becomes growing and lingering, the child begins to choke. When the baby is just beginning to feel hungry, his crying becomes invocative.

This advice will be useful for young mothers: when your baby is hungry, he will definitely start looking for a breast when he is in his mother's arms.

Crying in pain. When the baby is in pain, he begins to cry very plaintively with varying intensity in his voice, in which notes of despair slip through. If a newborn baby is in pain, he immediately begins to cry loudly and boisterously.

Crying out of fear. When frightened, the baby begins to cry suddenly, moreover, very loudly and hysterically. Crying out of fear usually stops as suddenly as it started. Parents should respond quickly to such crying, and not wait for the baby to calm down on their own.

Sometimes babies have invocative cry, which means the desire of the child to tell his parents about the troubles that have arisen. In this case, the baby cries quietly and briefly at short intervals: he will scream a little, and then, as it were, waits for a response. If there is no reaction, the crying becomes constant and becomes louder. When the baby is uncomfortable due to wet diapers, he begins to whimper, while fidgeting and trying to move. When a baby has an overflowing diaper, he shows dissatisfaction, even when he is in his arms.

Why does a child cry if nothing hurts and he is not hungry?

In the case when the baby begins to freeze, he begins to sob and his crying turns into hiccups, while his skin becomes pale and cool. If the newborn, on the contrary, is overheated, he also begins to cry, his face turns red, he waves his arms and legs, and his body becomes hot.

It happens that the baby is overtired. Then he becomes capricious, cries even when he is entertained and calms down only when they begin to rock him. When a child just needs communication or just contact with his parents, he begins to cry invitingly and becomes calm only if he hears the steps of his mother.

There are other situations when the baby cries. For example, while bathing, the water is too hot or cold. Therefore, you should always check the water before each bath.

During feeding: Newborn babies may experience pain due to ear and throat infections. Crying can also be caused by teething or stomatitis. In the end, the child simply may not like the taste of milk, so mothers should not abuse the use of products that have a pungent taste and pungent smell.

The baby can cry in his sleep. The reasons for such crying can be different: the baby wanted to eat, he had a terrible dream, or he simply does not like the position in which he lies.

What needs to be done?

An attentive mother always has her own right way out. She will warm the baby or remove the extra blanket, feed him, or vice versa, will not overfeed him at bedtime. Does not give “new food” at night, treats diaper rash, softens the scab on the crown of the head with warm oil and carefully removes it with a small comb. If a baby develops diathesis, it is necessary to consult with doctors about how to properly feed the baby and take care of his skin. Thanks to the warm mother's hands, making circular movements along the baby's tummy, the gases accumulated in it will leave. Experts also advise putting the child on the right side so that gases can more easily pass through the sigmoid colon, which is located on the left side of the abdomen. Sometimes a baby gas tube can be used.

Mostly restless behavior in babies occurs at the time when you need to go to bed. The child cannot calm down in any way, often wakes up at night, which brings a lot of suffering to all household members. Not every family has a clear regimen when everyone sleeps at night. The "night" mode almost always suffers. Because of the anxiety or illness of a beloved baby, parents give him increased attention: they begin to put him down later than usual, rock him in his arms, put him in his bed, not realizing that by doing this they violate the correct regimen of the child. And the baby, in turn, very quickly gets used to the mode that is uncomfortable for parents.

Mistakes parents make

If the parents watched TV several times in a row for a long time, while the baby also did not sleep, then the next evening he will definitely not fall asleep at the appointed time. Sometimes it happens that a child falls asleep to the sound of the TV, and if it is quiet at home, he cannot fall asleep in any way. Scientists have proven that young children are very acutely experiencing turbulent family situations. If there was a quarrel in the family or guests stayed too long, the baby will definitely react to this with his restless behavior. If yesterday the child rocked in his arms for a long time, today he will not fall asleep “just like that”. If for several nights he was under his mother's barrel, then how can he fall asleep alone now?

In ancient times, they said that "a child cries to the wind." This is also indicated by scientists who have proven that the wind causes many infants to cry because of the resulting feeling of discomfort. There is an opinion of psychiatrists that there are especially sensitive children who cry "for no reason." Loving and sensitive mothers and fathers always understand why their baby has difficulty falling asleep, and always find the best solution.

Baby crying in the first weeks of life is one of the most common problems that new moms and dads can face. Children are still too small, so tears and screaming are the only possible way to convey their desires and discontent to their parents.

And everything is how to understand why a baby is crying. Maybe he got a little sick? Hungry? Does he suffer from colic? There are many options for potential negative factors, it remains only to understand the true cause and find an effective “cure”.

But it is precisely with the establishment of the true culprit that problems arise, since inexperienced parents are only learning to understand their baby. However, you can understand what a child's crying is about if you carefully monitor the reactions of a tiny little man.

A little about baby crying

The cries of a newborn baby are the first sound signal after birth. The baby in this way resists separation from the mother, protests against the change of habitat and announces to the whole world about his birth.

Such reactions can be found in many mammals, especially in baby monkeys. Previously, in general, according to the first cries of a newborn, his viability was judged. If the baby screams loudly, then he is healthy, but if he screams weakly and sluggishly, therefore, there are some violations.

Usually a newborn baby cries quite often, and if at first the parents do not understand the source of the cries, then they begin to distinguish between different reasons for the duration, frequency, intensity, volume and other characteristics of crying.

Do not react to the crying of the baby, as a catastrophic event. On the contrary, it is necessary to listen to the child every time, trying to identify the source of anxiety and eliminate it.

The causes of newborn crying are multifaceted and may include the following features and factors:

• colic and discomfort in the tummy;
• hunger;
• wet diapers;
• low or high room temperature;
• desire to sleep;
• boredom;
• discomfort in bed
• fear;
• health problems.

And these are just some of the possible reasons for children's discontent. Having learned to understand why the child screams during the day, parents will be able to quickly solve problems that arise or contact doctors if the situation is really serious.

Consider the main reasons for the crying of a small child in more detail.

Hunger

If you ask an experienced pediatrician why a newborn is crying, then in most cases the answer will be something like this: the baby is hungry.

The ventricle of a newborn baby is very small, so babies are often fed, but with a small amount of milk or formula. But since lactation is only getting better, in one of the feedings, the baby can get a smaller amount of food, which is signaled by crying.

If a newborn baby cries a lot, the mother, first of all, needs to check if he wants to “eat”. To do this, bend the little finger and touch it to the corner of the child's mouth. If the baby turns his head towards the stimulus and opens his mouth, then the crying was provoked by hunger.

It remains for the mother to attach the baby to the breast for feeding or offer a bottle of freshly prepared formula. Usually, immediately after receiving the coveted food, the screams begin to subside, and loud crying is replaced by quiet sobs, which gradually disappear.

“Hungry” crying is distinguished by loudness, length, intensity, the baby seems to be choking. If the child has only recently become hungry, then the cries will be invocative.

If the child cries constantly, you need to track the dynamics of the set of kilograms and the volume of milk from the mother. It is very likely that the baby cannot eat and this situation requires an increase in the amount of milk or the introduction of complementary foods.

It is best to consult with a specialist.

An artificial child, by the way, may cry not from a lack of food, but from thirst. Mothers, especially in hot weather, need to keep a bottle of clean drinking water near them.

Feeding problems

If a newborn is naughty and cries directly during or after eating, it can be concluded that there are certain problems that prevent normal feeding. Here are just a few of them.

1. Stuffy nose. The baby may begin to suckle milk or formula, but then brushes off the breast or bottle. At the same time, snoring or sniffing of the nose is heard. With a runny nose and congestion, clean the nose with an aspirator, rinse with saline and instill the agent recommended by the doctor.
2. The child choked. If the baby's crying during feeding is short and does not repeat anymore, and the baby clears his throat, then he probably just swallowed a lot of milk. It is enough to wait a little, and then resume feeding.
3. Ear infection. If by all indications the child is hungry, but at the first sips leaves the chest and starts screaming loudly, he may have otitis media. In this case, swallowing only increases the discomfort. You need to see a doctor who will prescribe nasal and ear drops.
4. Thrush. When the oral cavity is affected by a fungus from the genus Candida, a whitish coating appears in the child, and when milk gets on the tongue, a burning sensation occurs. To prevent the baby from crying and not refusing to eat, you should visit a doctor who will recommend the right method of treatment.
5. Bad taste from milk. If a hungry child turns away from the food source and continues to cry, he may not like the taste of milk. The use of flavored products changes the indicators of milk: spices, hot spices, garlic sauce or onions. They should be avoided in HB.
6. Air entering the digestive tract. If, immediately after eating, the baby begins to whimper and pull his legs up to his tummy, he may have swallowed a lot of air. It is enough to put the crumbs as a "soldier" so that excess oxygen comes out.

If the newborn constantly cries during feeding, you need to consult a specialist to rule out serious problems with the gastrointestinal tract.

Notorious colic

A common cause of crying in a newborn baby is colic, which is a spastic reaction localized in the tummy. Their occurrence is caused by the imperfection of the children's digestive system, which is manifested by the stretching of the intestinal walls with gas bubbles.

Children's crying in this case is loud, piercing, and can last for a long time with short pauses. A parent can guess about colic on signs such as:

• flushed face;
• pressing the lower limbs to the stomach with their further sharp stretching;
• hardened abdomen;
• clenching fists.

Of course, the problem of colic will disappear by itself at 4 months of age, when the digestive tract "ripens". However, simply waiting for this blessed time would be foolish. The baby needs to be reassured. How? For example, can:

• stroke the diaper and lay it warm on the baby's stomach;
• make a light massage of the umbilical region;
• put the baby on your stomach;
• do the exercise "bike";
• give the crumbs to drink dill water or a medicine prescribed by a doctor, etc.

The child does not cry after the manipulations? So you did everything right. Very soon, the unpleasant symptoms of colic will disappear, and children's anxiety will be replaced by joyful activity.

physical discomfort

If hunger and colic disappear, the mother may assume that the newborn baby is crying due to discomfort caused by uncomfortable underwear, improperly selected temperature conditions, or, most often, a wet or dirty diaper.

Let's take a closer look underlying causes for physical discomfort and methods for their elimination.

1. The child described himself. If the baby cries, fidgets, trying not to touch the wet thing, you need to see if he did his “wet deeds” in a diaper or diaper. The solution to the problem is very simple - just change clothes and underwear, wipe the baby's skin with a napkin.
2. The baby is uncomfortable in clothes. If the baby screams with displeasure immediately after dressing or changing the diaper, the mother may conclude that he does not like the clothes. Perhaps the seams, threads, buttons dug into the body, synthetics cause itching, or the material of the diaper is quite hard. The baby is just dressed up.
3. The baby is uncomfortable in the crib or stroller. A whimpering newborn may be unhappy with the posture. In this case, he begins to cry, waving his limbs, trying to change his position. The way out is to shift the child into a more comfortable position for him.
4. The baby is cold or snoring. If the child is constantly whimpering, sobbing, his skin is reddened and hot, then he is too hot. With crying and pallor of the skin, on the contrary, they conclude that the baby is hypothermic. Parents need to change his clothes, based on the temperature in the room.

How to understand a newborn who is experiencing physical discomfort? It is enough to show elementary attentiveness and track the reactions of your child.

Painful conditions

If the mother does not know why the newborn is crying, he has disturbing symptoms, the doctor will help answer all the questions. You should seek medical attention if:

• children's crying is monotonous and monotonous;
• the child is too lethargic, inactive;
• body temperature is elevated.

If the child cries all the time, and it is not possible to establish the source of the cries, it is better not to hesitate and call the doctor. What else should parents know? Ways to help with some painful conditions are presented in the table.

Headache	This condition often occurs in children with perinatal encephalopathy. The catalyst for pain is a change in the weather (rain, wind).	The child is constantly crying, screaming loudly and angrily.	anxiety; bad sleep; nausea and vomiting; diarrhea.	Self-medication is excluded. You should immediately contact a pediatrician and a neurologist.
Diaper dermatitis	Urine and feces irritate the skin, resulting in diaper rash and pain.	The newborn cries loudly, the cries intensify when the mother changes the diaper or diaper.	rash and hyperemia in the buttocks and perineum; baby's irritability.	The question of what to do is obvious. It is necessary to regularly change hygiene devices, wipe the skin. In case of severe diaper rash, you should consult a doctor.
cutting teeth	Climbing out incisors usually occurs at 4-6 months of age.	The child cries loudly, while sipping fists or any other objects in his mouth.	increased separation of saliva; heat; sometimes diarrhea; gum swelling.	If a baby is teething, a teether should be purchased for him. The doctor may recommend a special anesthetic gel for the gums.

Psychological discomfort

Discomfort of psychological origin is another answer to the question of why the baby is crying. The child may overwork, miss his mother or be afraid of a loud sound.

The baby is able to cry if he needs to attract parental attention. In this case, he screams invitingly for a few seconds and waits for his mother to come up. If the adult does not respond, then after a short interval the cry is repeated.

Some experts do not recommend immediately grabbing the child in the arms to calm him down. So that the baby does not grow up "tame", it is better to iron it directly in the crib. Most likely, he will quickly calm down as soon as he hears his mother's voice.

The baby may cry in protest. For example, if a newborn does not like something, then he will begin to scream sharply and loudly at the top of his lungs. Most often, children can be disturbed by dressing, cutting their nails, cleaning their ears.

A capricious newborn is a practically impossible phenomenon, since such small children cry for objective reasons. So, tears and discontent provoke increased activity during the day, communication with strangers, an excessively rich day for emotions and events.

If a newborn often cries in the evening, most likely he is overworked. Help relieve fatigue:

• quiet entertainment;
• airing the room and humidifying the air;
• wiggle;
• lullaby;
• bedding;
• lactation.

It is quite possible to prevent the crying and cries of the baby if you follow a certain sequence of steps in the evening. For example, you can bathe, feed, put the baby to bed, then turn off the light and sing your favorite lullaby. This whole ritual will speed up falling asleep.

Other reasons why the baby is crying

In addition to the main factors, there are other reasons why newborns cry. The child may cry during bathing, urination, defecation, falling asleep and waking up. And almost every cry experts find a logical explanation.

Crying while urinating

Some mothers and fathers note that newborns cry during urination, as a result of which they are frightened. Usually, this phenomenon occurs in healthy children, but in some cases it may indicate certain health problems.

The most common reason that the baby screams and is naughty when going to the toilet "in a small way" is the fear of what is happening. A healthy child simply does not understand the process of urination and cannot relax, and therefore begins to cry.

However, in some situations, tears and children's cries can be caused by painful sensations in diseases. So, the catalyst for an unfavorable process is:

• urinary tract infections;
• incorrect location of the foreskin, which is manifested by congestion, suppuration, burning.

If the child constantly cries while urinating, it is necessary to consult a pediatrician who will offer to pass certain tests.

Crying during bowel movements

If newborns whimper when going to the bathroom "in a big way", then most likely they have difficulty with bowel movements. With the adaptation of the digestive tract, almost every child goes through the stage of colic and even constipation.

With children's tears during defecation, you need to pay attention to the features of feces, and also remember what the child ate over the past few days.

The main factors in the occurrence of crying and screaming in newborns during bowel movements are:

• constipation that occurs due to the transition to artificial feeding or a change in the mixture;
• intestinal colic;
• inflammatory bowel disease.

If a child regularly cries during bowel movements, and there are bloody or mucous discharges, incomprehensible inclusions in his feces, be sure to make an appointment with a pediatrician.

Crying in a dream

Many parents notice that a newborn baby screams in their sleep. First of all, you should examine the crib and the position in which the baby "rests" in order to exclude physical discomfort as a cause.

Experts call other reasons why the baby cries and screams during sleep. Provoke baby crying may:

• colic, which we have already discussed above;
• nervous fatigue;
• cutting teeth;
• any disease;
• hunger;
• nightmare;
• detection of mother's absence.

Many experts do not recommend waiting for the child to finally wake up, otherwise then he simply will not want to sleep. It is best to stroke the baby, shake a little. If the crying does not stop, then you can pick it up and shake it a little.

Crying while bathing

Another question that worries parents is why the child cries while bathing. The causes of tears during water procedures are many-sided. Allocate several main factors that affect the behavior of the child during bathing.

1. Uncomfortable water temperature. The baby may react negatively to excessively cold or hot water. It also affects the well-being and temperature of the bathroom. Before swimming, it is important to make sure that the water and air temperature are optimal.
2. Bathtub too big. Some children are afraid of large volumes of an adult bath. In this case, experts advise wrapping the child in a diaper before lowering into the water. It reduces psychological stress.
3. Fear of swimming. Negative emotions arise due to the penetration of soap foam into the eyes, water entering the mouth or ears. The child in such a situation in every possible way prevents the water procedure.
4. Uncomfortable position. Many mothers are afraid of harming the child, so they hold him too tightly. This leads to the fact that newborns begin to express dissatisfaction and protest during bathing.
5. related factors. The feeling of hunger, as well as colic, can worsen children's mood. To understand what exactly became the cause of discontent, the signs that we have already mentioned above will help. In order for water procedures to go smoothly, you need to get rid of unpleasant symptoms.

Some neurological problems are also accompanied by a reluctance to bathe. However, crying and screaming can also occur during sleep or eating. In this case, it is important to contact a neurologist for a comprehensive examination.

Every mother is able to find an approach to her own child if she carefully observes him. Let at first, children's crying seems always the same to parents, but then, as communication is established, literally every squeak will be filled with its own special meaning.

All children cry. And if it is not difficult to find out and understand the reasons for crying in large children, then it is not so easy to understand why a newborn baby is crying. After all, the usual ways of communication for us are still inaccessible to the baby, and he is also unable to cope with his own, even minor troubles on his own.

The main reasons for crying

The main reasons for the crying of a newborn baby are associated with the most important needs and problems for him: hunger, pain, fear, thirst, discomfort, hypothermia or overheating, overwork, desire to communicate.

At first, it is not easy for parents to understand why their little child is crying. But, communicating with him daily, the mother begins to distinguish between the types of children's crying by intonation, volume and duration.

How to understand the reason

The most powerful irritants for any person are hunger, pain and fear. Therefore, we will hear the loudest and most hysterical cry in a newborn in these situations.

1. Crying when hungry will be loud, drawn out, its intensity gradually increases and turns into a choking cry. If the child is just beginning to experience a feeling of hunger, then crying will be invocative. Tip for new mothers: if the baby is hungry, he will begin to look for the breast as soon as he is in your arms.
2. Crying in pain, as a rule, plaintive, its intensity does not change, only sometimes notes of despair appear. If the pain arose suddenly, then the crying will immediately be loud and boisterous.
3. Crying due to fear, starts suddenly, it is loud, sometimes hysterical. It may stop just as suddenly.

Parents should respond to such crying immediately and not wait until the child calms down on his own. In other cases, the screams will first be invocative, and then, if the baby is still uncomfortable, certain features will appear.

invocative cry- this is an attempt by the crumbs to declare their problems. It is quiet and short, repeated at short intervals. The baby screams for a few seconds and then waits for your reaction. If there is no answer to the “request to come up”, then the crying is repeated, with each repetition the cry will be louder.

Why does a child cry if nothing hurts him and he is not hungry?

1. If the child is uncomfortable with wet diapers, then the crying will be whimpering, and the baby himself will fidget, trying to move from a wet place. If a child has an overflowing diaper, then he will show signs of discontent on his hands.
2. If the child is cold, then crying will gradually turn into hiccups with sobs. The baby's skin is pale and cool to the touch.
3. If the child is overheated, then crying is accompanied by reddening of the face, the baby makes waves of legs and arms, his skin is hot.
4. When overtired, the baby begins to act up, cries at any attempt to entertain him, but calms down when motion sickness.
5. If you need to communicate or contact with your mother, the baby cries invitingly and calms down when he hears approaching steps.

Knowing the main causes of crying, it will not be difficult to calm the child. It is enough to eliminate the cause: feed the hungry, rock the sleepy one, change the diaper or clothes if necessary (if the baby is overheated or cold). Difficulties can be delivered by crying because of pain, because it is not always possible to immediately eliminate its cause. But here the main thing is to be patient and behave calmly.

Watch video:

Other situations

Children sometimes begin to cry when bathing, feeding, and even in their sleep. There are many reasons for such cries.

Baby crying while bathing

• Cold or hot water - the temperature of the water before bathing must be checked with an “elbow” or a thermometer, it should be 36-37 degrees C. (Article: in what water to bathe a child);
• This procedure scares the baby - try to talk about each action in a calm tone while bathing and distract the child, any of your actions should be gentle and smooth (Article: the child is afraid to swim: reasons and what to do);
• You behave insecurely, your fear is transmitted to the child - stop being afraid yourself and invite someone to help you bathe;
• There are areas of inflammation on the child’s body (diaper rash, mosquito bites, scratching) - try to prevent the appearance of wounds;
• Add soothing herbs to baby bath water;

Crying while feeding

• During feeding, the baby feels pain. This happens with inflammation of the mucous membrane of the oral cavity (stomatitis, thrush), with infections (inflammation of the throat, ears), with teething, swallowing a large amount;
• The kid doesn't like the taste. Milk changes with the abuse of strong-smelling foods or foods with a sharp taste (which is not recommended for nursing mothers). Particles of rancid milk may remain on the surface of the nipple, so the breast must be washed before feeding. The product that treats the breast before feeding has an unpleasant taste and smell for the baby. (Basic and main rules for breastfeeding an infant)

Why does he cry in his sleep

• I wanted to eat;
• I had a terrible dream;
• Lies in an uncomfortable position;
• Experiencing pain;
• I felt that my mother was not around;

More video:

In addition, children sometimes cry when urinating or having a bowel movement. Such cries may indicate inflammatory diseases of the urinary tract or constipation. The reason for this behavior of the child must be clarified together with the pediatrician.

Useful publications on the topic:

• Often the child cries from colic and gaziki tormenting him. You will learn how to deal with them by clicking on the links and studying the instructions;
• But how to calm a child, you will learn from the article: how to calm a crying baby (nine tips tested in practice);
• The infant arches its back and cries;
• The vagaries of the child: how to respond and how to fight.

Are we just going to leave it here?

Watch the video:

" Newborn baby

Baby crying for no reason

What is crying and why is it needed?

We propose to begin to understand what crying is and what functions it has. Firstly, it is a signal that occurs reflexively in infants and indicates a feeling of discomfort caused by hunger, thirst, pain, desire to sleep, and so on. With age, crying is an expression of negative feelings that the baby is not able to cope with. Tears are a certain children's language, because while the baby cannot fully express their feelings. He cries when he is afraid, angry when his demands are not met, when he is confused, and for many other reasons. Over time, the mother learns to distinguish the intonations of crying and knows that the signal that something hurts the baby is different from the signal with which he expresses his resentment or annoyance. In any case, both in an infant and in an older child, there is no unreasonable. And if you think that the child is hysterical for no reason. then, believe me, it really only seems to you.

If a newborn baby cries for no reason

Young, inexperienced parents are very afraid of children's tantrums for no apparent reason. Especially if the child is the first and was born recently. If the baby is crying, then there are several main reasons for this:

Perhaps the baby just wants to eat. Gently put your palm on his cheek, if the baby opened his mouth and turned his face to your hand, then it's time to feed him. If this did not happen, and you know that the child has recently eaten, then you should not offer him an extra meal. So you risk overfeeding him.

Sometimes the baby eats more than he needs, which causes pain and discomfort in the stomach and intestines. Examine the child. If the tummy is hard and swollen, this indicates that you have overfed the baby.

Almost all babies suffer from colic for the first three months of life. A child whose tummy hurts is like a little boxer: he clenches his arms into fists, pulls his legs up to his tummy and straightens them sharply. At the same time, of course, he will actively express his dissatisfaction, perhaps even crying will be hysterical. The baby itself will be red and, perhaps, he will have a tremor (trembling of the limbs). Here you will be helped by a heating pad, a warm diaper, laying the baby on the tummy or on the side, anti-colic drugs.

If the baby is cold, then the inner elbow folds will be cold, the nasolabial triangle may also turn slightly blue. But the baby's feet and hands are not a completely reliable informant, because in newborns they are very often cold. In case of overheating, the baby will sweat, the skin will be red.

• He was afraid of his own hands

Yes, this happens too. Children under a certain age do not perceive their limbs as part of themselves. The hands of a child live a separate life and are not yet controllable. So that the baby does not frighten himself and does not scratch, practice light swaddling, even if only the handles.

At first, the baby may manifest the so-called angry crying. At the same time, the baby screams angrily, and then sleeps for a long time. This mostly happens with firstborns. The reasons for this crying are not fully understood. Perhaps it's just hard to adapt to the outside world. Try to calm the baby by giving him a pacifier or rocking him in your arms.

Don't forget to check and change diapers on time.

The skin of a newborn is very delicate, so make sure that diaper rash does not appear - they are very painful for such babies.

In principle, teeth can start cutting at any age, so if your child is too small, then still do not rush to dismiss the possibility of teething.

The child is used to falling asleep in your arms, and you suddenly decided to accustom him to a separate sleeping place? Then do not be surprised that the baby is crying, because he does not understand why he is now left alone.

It happens that the baby wants to sleep, but cannot fall asleep for a number of reasons: it is cold, hot, he wants to eat, he needs a pacifier, etc. Eliminate all possible causes of discomfort. Try also using a hair dryer - the monotonous sound soothes young children.

• The need to suck

Perhaps the baby just needs to be given a pacifier and his mood will immediately improve.

If you have eliminated all possible causes of discomfort, but you are still tormented by the question, why does a baby cry for no reason. it is quite possible that the baby has some kind of disease. It is unlikely that you yourself will diagnose your child, especially if he is outwardly healthy. If you have eliminated all irritants, but the baby is still crying, see a doctor. He may see something that you didn't.

Even if the child has long been out of infancy, and you see that his crying is caused by whims, you still cannot ignore his hysteria. This can cause irreparable damage to your credibility. Hysterical crying caused by whims is better not to reinforce with increased attention. Let the nervous tension come out. For the rest, try to deal with the reasons for crying, for this you must establish a trusting contact and not resort to punishment.

Causes of constant crying of the newborn and the reaction of parents

Surely, you are familiar with the proverb “Whatever the child amuses, if only she does not cry. Indeed, during the first three months of life, babies cry a lot. After all, crying is the only opportunity for a newborn to tell his mother that something is wrong with him. Crying is not a whim of the child, but his request for help. And no request should be left unattended. The sooner the mother comes to help the child, the more favorable his impression of the world around him will be and the less the baby's nervous system suffers.

Video about the causes of baby crying

Why does a baby cry all the time?

Misconceptions about the benefits of crying

The aforementioned proverb invites parents to calm a whimpering child by any means, many parents are sure. But folk wisdom has a different meaning. The child should not cry at all. It has long been believed that it is harmful for a child to cry. This spoils the character and prevents the child from developing normally. Absolutely fair. Constantly crying or a sick child or a child whose parents are inattentive. If the baby is healthy and well-groomed, he will not cry. It is believed that crying helps the baby develop the lungs. This is a kind of excuse for those who cannot give the child proper attention. It is necessary to immediately understand the causes of crying and eliminate them.

List of alarm reasons

• he needs physical contact with his mother;
• he wants to take the breast to satisfy either hunger or the sucking reflex;
• he wants to sleep, feels discomfort from fatigue;
• he wants to be rocked;
• he is cold or hot;
• need to urinate or have a bowel movement;
• malaise (nervous system disorder, intracranial pressure, hyper or hypotension, irritability, onset of a cold or infectious disease, developmental pathology, features of the adaptation period);
• memories of the prenatal period or birth stress;
• reaction to atmospheric phenomena or the phase of the moon.

In any case, the crying of a newborn is associated with some reasons. They need to be identified and eliminated as soon as possible. Any mother by the end of the first month of a baby's life distinguishes several shades of crying. It can be a hungry cry or a call, a feeling of discomfort or pain, a cry that is associated with a desire to sleep.

How to respond to crying?

Many young parents are afraid that if they react to the slightest squeak of their crumbs, he will be spoiled and decide that all his whims will always be satisfied. Such fears are groundless, since a baby under the age of one year cannot be spoiled. It is possible to create or destroy confidence in the reliability of his environment.

A small lyrical digression. Did you know that babies in baby houses hardly cry? Not when they want to eat, not when they lie in wet diapers. Even when they are in pain, they do not cry, but only moan softly. This is a vivid example of the destruction of confidence in the reliability of the world. Unfortunately there is not enough staff. The child quickly realizes that there is no need to cry, no one will come anyway. Scheduled diaper changes and a bottle on a folded diaper. All! This is where the incredulity and some bitterness of the orphanage children originate.

One of my family friends decided to adopt a child. They found their son in the hospital - his own mother refused him. Doctors and all medical documents and extracts insisted that the boy was completely healthy. It's just a little behind in development. It is clear that he is lagging behind - he did not grow up in a family. Imagine my surprise when I first saw the baby! At 9.5 months, many are already starting to take their first steps, and he was lying in the crib and playing with his hands, as 2-3 month old children do! He did not sit, did not stand, and just learned to roll over on his stomach. Thank God, in the family the boy quickly caught up with his peers in development, now this little one has already graduated from the first grade.

Take your child in your arms! Don't be afraid to spoil him. Tactile contact with parents is not only a method of calming the baby, but also the development of his physical and sensory sphere. After all, your baby is not an orphanage! Let him trust you. Let him know that he always has support.

Why is the baby crying?

A newly born little man cannot stand up for himself and expresses his dissatisfaction with himself or the world around him by crying. If the causes of the disorder are found out and eliminated - great.

Reasons for baby crying

But if the baby cries often and for a long time, you should find out the causes of discomfort and crying baby. In newborns, the most common symptoms are irritability, pruritus, malnutrition, and bloating. The easiest way to deal with hygiene problems.
If mommy carefully takes care of the baby's skin, then very soon irritation, itching, diaper rash, and at the same time the child's anxiety will disappear.

Do not be lazy to wash your baby after each bowel movement and urination. You can use wet wipes if they do not irritate the skin of the newborn. If a reason for baby crying there are pains in the tummy, parents can understand this by the following signs: in the evening the child begins to cry, he clenches his fists, twists his legs, pressing them to the tummy. To make your baby less likely to be disturbed by colic, follow simple recommendations.

• A mother who is breastfeeding needs to watch her diet. Eliminate foods that increase fermentation in the intestines and gas formation: raisins, grapes, sweets, mushrooms, peas, beans, whole milk.
• Check with your doctor. If there are no contraindications, you can give the baby fennel tea, as well as special drugs that reduce the frequency of colic in babies.
• Place your baby on your tummy as often as possible. In this position, gases escape more easily.
• At the moments when the child comes in from pain, take him in your arms and press his tummy to you. Attach a warm, ironed diaper to your tummy.
• Gently massage your belly in a clockwise direction.

Most often, by 3-4 months, colic ceases to bother the little man. It will be more difficult for the parents of a child whose nervous system has suffered during the period of intrauterine development. Such children are overly excitable, irritable and shy. Often during baby crying trembling hands and chin. These babies need to consult a pediatric neurologist.

The complex of treatment usually includes massage, which in most cases gives a striking effect. The main thing is that it is performed by a specialist. The massage or gymnastics that the mother does is not enough in this case. It is possible that drugs will be prescribed for the child to treat neurological disorders. In this case, the doctor's prescription must be carried out very accurately. If you decide that treatment is unnecessary, consult with a specialist whose opinion you trust. Don't rely solely on your feelings. The fact is that early lesions of the nervous system are capable, having faded away for a while, to reappear already at an older age. So treatment in the first months guarantees protection for life.

For restless children, swimming is very useful. Fill the bath with water with a temperature of 37 ° C (in a week - 1 ° C lower), add 1-2 drops of lavender oil or a decoction of herbs with a calming effect: mint, thyme, chamomile. The baby will take a bath with great pleasure if he can stay on the water on his own. To do this, you need to put on inflatable armlets on the handles, and make a swimming cap out of the cap by sewing pieces of foam to it. You won't regret the effort you put in when you see how much fun swimming brings to your baby. Try to fix the cause as soon as possible crying baby. since prolonged crying leads to stress for both crumbs and parents.

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For most of us, babies are adorable. True, only if the little one sniffs softly in a dream or smiles funny. Frequent tantrums and tears of infants, the causes of which are sometimes impossible to explain, cause adults to feel irritated because of their own impotence. However, such emotions are a bad helper. It is very important to understand why a newborn cries and take appropriate measures. Consider the main reasons for tears in babies, and also find out how to calm a crying baby.

When a baby cries, young parents often feel powerless.

physical discomfort

Why do newborn babies cry? Crying is due to various factors. One of them is an instinctive reluctance to be alone. If a child under 1 month old screams and cries in connection with this circumstance, then it is easy to calm him down: pick him up, look into his eyes, say something in a calm, gentle voice.

Did not help? It is likely that the newborn is crying because of a more serious problem - physical discomfort caused by uncomfortable clothing, improper room conditions, and so on. The exact reason can be understood by the way the baby cries:

Reason for crying	Behavioral Features	How to calm the baby?
Wet clothes (diaper, diaper)	The child hiccups, cries, fidgets, trying not to touch the wet.	Remove wet clothes, clean and dry the skin, put on new underwear.
Uncomfortable clothing (improper swaddling)	The baby begins to scream indignantly immediately after putting on new clothes or swaddling.	Buttons, buttons, snakes, threads, crumbs or seams that dig into delicate skin can cause discomfort. Things may be too tight or hard. Clothing made from synthetic fabrics with dyes causes itching. The baby should be changed quickly.
Uncomfortable posture	The newborn whimpers, cries, waves his arms and legs, trying to change his position.	The baby needs to be laid differently.
Too hot or cold	The baby sobs, hiccups. Signs of overheating - hot and red skin, in advanced cases - a rash. Manifestations of hypothermia - pale and cold covers.	The newborn should be changed according to the temperature conditions in the room.

The cause of fussy movements and crying of the child can be a wet diaper

Feeling hungry and feeding problems

A common reason newborns cry is hunger. In the first weeks, most babies “hang on their chest” almost all the time. Then lactation is established, and an approximate schedule is developed, however, at one of the meals, the baby may eat less than expected. Of course, he will begin to demand milk out of schedule and scream loudly. If, after being attached to the breast or bottle, the newborn quickly subsided, hunger was the cause of the crying.

The baby began to eat, but started crying again? So something is bothering him. Problems that may occur during or after feeding and lead to crying:

Problem	Behavioral Features	What to do?
Nasal congestion	The baby begins to suck on the breast or bottle, but then quits and screams in annoyance. Sniffling or snoring.	Clean the nose with a special aspirator (pear), rinse with drops (saline), drip the drug for the common cold, prescribed by the doctor.
swallowed a lot of milk	The cry is short and not repetitive.	Wait a bit.
Otitis	When swallowing, the pain in the ear increases, so the baby stops eating and screams loudly.	Drip vasoconstrictor drops into the nose, and special painkillers into the ears. Contact a doctor.
Stomatitis	A sign of candidal stomatitis (thrush) is a white coating on the oral mucosa. The kid feels a burning sensation and refuses to eat.	Wipe the oral cavity with a weak soda solution (2%). Visit a doctor.
Specific taste of milk (mixture)	The baby tries to eat, but then turns away from the breast or bottle.	The use of certain products - onions, garlic, lamb and others - leads to a change in the taste of milk. They should not be eaten in large quantities. In addition, mom should not use cosmetics with a strong aroma.
Air entered the stomach	Immediately after eating or during it, the baby pulls its legs to the stomach and screams.	The baby needs to be taken in a "column", leaning his stomach against his chest. This will allow excess air to escape.

Chilled teether helps relieve pain and itching of swollen gums

It is wrong to immediately offer a breast or a bottle to a baby when he is crying. To begin with, you should pick it up, shake it. If these actions do not help to calm him down, the child cries pitifully and shows that he wants to eat - sucks his fists, smacks his lips, then feeding should not be postponed.

If the newborn is constantly crying, you should make sure that he is not starving. There are certain standards for weight gain in children up to a year. The baby should be periodically weighed and compared with the reference increase. The pediatrician should be informed about the lag in the pace - he will recommend how to increase the volume of feedings.

With artificial feeding, the child often cries not from hunger, but from thirst. Mom needs to always have a bottle of drinking water ready.

Colic and increased gas production

Why is the baby crying all the time? At the age of 1-3 months, many children suffer from colic - severe painful cramps in the abdomen due to stretching of the intestinal walls with gas bubbles. The main sign of colic is that the baby cries piercingly inconsolably for a long time, taking short breaks. Additional symptoms:

• redness of the face;
• "knee" with legs;
• flatulence (hard stomach);
• clenching fists.

Colic is associated with the immaturity of the digestive system of babies, but malnutrition or the nervous tension of a nursing mother can aggravate the situation. For most children, the problem is solved when they are 3-4 months old.

What to do if the child is crying due to abdominal pain? You can calm him down in one of the following ways:

• put something warm on the tummy - a diaper ironed with an iron or a heated bag with flax seeds;
• make a massage - with a warm hand, stroke around the navel in a clockwise direction;
• put the baby on the stomach (not all children like this position);
• to vilify the baby vertically so that excess air comes out;
• lay the baby on his back and give him the “frog” position - bend the legs at the knees and connect the feet, thanks to this, gases are easier to escape, another effective exercise is imitation of cycling;
• use a gas outlet pipe;
• give a medicine for colic prescribed by a doctor (Espumizan, Sab Simplex, Bobotik, BabyKali, etc.), or dill water;
• put the child with his bare stomach on his stomach, ensuring skin-to-skin contact;
• put the baby in the sling facing you.

Problems emptying the bladder or bowels

Why else does a baby have to cry? Possible causes are cystitis and constipation. Inflammation of the bladder (cystitis) is accompanied by pain during urination and fever. The condition requires urgent medical attention.

If the baby cries during a bowel movement or pushes and does not poop, he has constipation. Frequent problems with bowel movements can lead to the appearance of cracks in the rectum. The problem should be reported to the pediatrician. As a symptomatic therapy, you can use:

• microclysters Microlax;
• glycerin suppositories;
• Lactulose syrup (has a delayed effect, causing stool the next day).

Constipation can be the cause of excruciating discomfort in a child.

Some Physiological Causes of Crying

Why does a baby sometimes cry? The sobbing of a newborn can be triggered by various painful conditions:

State	essence	Symptoms	How to help a crying baby?
"Breast migraine"	Infants who were diagnosed at birth with perinatal encephalopathy (PEP) can suffer from headaches. This syndrome is characterized by increased pressure inside the skull, nervous excitability, impaired muscle tone (increase or decrease).	Attacks of "baby migraine" occur when weather conditions change, atmospheric pressure drops. In addition, windy, cloudy or rainy weather can cause a headache. At the same time, the baby screams, sleeps poorly, and shows anxiety. Vomiting, indigestion may occur.	In such a situation, it is impossible to do without the help of a specialist. It is necessary to visit a pediatrician or a neurologist and talk about the problem.
Diaper rash (diaper rash)	Due to the contact of the baby's skin with feces and urine, its acid-base balance is disturbed. The result is a painful irritation.	Signs of diaper dermatitis: rash and redness in the area of ​​the perineum and buttocks; irritability of the child; crying that gets worse when changing diapers.	Necessary: use a healing agent (Bepanten cream); change diapers in a timely manner; thoroughly cleanse the skin; periodically arrange "air baths". If the irritation is very strong, a doctor's consultation is required to prescribe treatment.
Teething	When a baby is teething, the gums swell, itch, and become painful.	The baby sobs, pulls everything into his mouth to "nibble." He has increased salivation. In some cases, there is an increase in body temperature.	Itchy gums can be "scratched" with a finger wrapped in a sterile bandage. A good way to help is a chilled teether. In addition, there are anesthetic gels that can be applied to the mucous membrane. At temperatures above 38.5 ° C, it is worth giving an antipyretic.

If the baby cries piercingly for a long time, and it was not possible to find out the cause, you need to seek medical help

Psychological discomfort

Consider why a newborn baby can still cry, because the reasons are not only physical, but also psychological. The most frequent of them are appeal, protest and accumulated fatigue:

1. The child cries on the rise, if he wants to attract the attention of an adult. The summoning cry does not last long and repeats at short intervals. The volume gradually increases. If you come to the baby, then he will calm down. Dr. Komarovsky does not advise immediately taking the crumbs in your arms. You can pet him or talk to him.
2. If a newborn child begins to cry in protest, then the cry is sharp and occurs immediately after the "inappropriate" action. Such necessary procedures as changing clothes, cutting nails, cleaning ears can lead to indignation. They should be brought to the end, and then caress the baby.
3. If the baby has become moody and sobs a lot, he is probably tired. Hysteria can be provoked by too long wakefulness, a large number of strangers around, a lot of impressions and events during the day.
4. If a newborn cries every time before going to bed, the daily routine is incorrect. Overwork prevents him from calming down.

The crying of a child due to fatigue can be calmed as follows:

• complete / exclude mobile and emotional games;
• ventilate the room and humidify the air in it;
• switch to calm communication;
• shake, sing a lullaby;
• put to bed, give a pacifier.

If the child is tired, you should calmly lay him down, help him fall asleep

You can prevent the crying of an infant by observing a certain sequence of actions (ritual) every night. For most babies, this combination helps to fall asleep: bathing - feeding - laying in the crib - turning off the main lights - turning on the nightlight - lullaby.

If the reason for crying a newborn at the age of 1-3 months is psychological discomfort, the advice of the American doctor Harvey Karp will help to quickly lull him to sleep:

1. Swaddling. It is not necessary to constantly wrap the baby in diapers, but wrapping up will help to quickly calm the child, who is naughty and cries before going to bed. It is important to close the handles. It is better to use modern elastic diapers.
2. wiggle. If a newborn rolls up and cries, it is worth shaking it. The baby should be picked up so that he lies on his side and start smooth movements with a small amplitude.
3. "White noise". The child is helped to soothe hissing sounds, uttered in a quiet voice. Their reproduction is recommended to be combined with rhythmic motion sickness.
4. Sucking. Is the baby crying inconsolably? The best way to calm him down is to let him satisfy his sucking reflex. A pacifier, mother's breast or a bottle with a small amount of mixture will help with this. However, the peanut should not be allowed to overeat.

Sometimes, to calm the baby, it is enough for the mother to shake him in her arms. Calming a child older than 3 months

A baby who cries constantly at 2 months old can be soothed by one of the methods described. If a baby is older than 3-4 months old, swaddling or “hissing” it does not make sense. During this period, the crying infant must be distracted from the problem that upset him:

1. Using a sling. A child who cries a lot should be put in a sling and walked around the house with him, or even better, go outside. In fact, this method combines swaddling, motion sickness, and “white noise”, but only in an interpretation suitable for a baby older than 3 months.
2. Switching attention. If a one-month-old baby cries, he is not particularly interested in the surrounding objects. An older baby will already be able to distract - rustle paper, ring a bell, knock rhythmically, sing a song. Such manipulations make the baby forget about the reason for the tantrum.
3. Getting rid of excess air. In a baby who cries and sobs for a long time, air accumulates in the gastrointestinal tract. Subsequently, the gas will stretch the walls of the intestines and cause pain, becoming a further cause of the crying of the child. You should hold the baby upright so that he burps the air.

Your baby cries a lot and you see no reason for it. Believe me, this does not happen. There is always a reason for tears. About why the baby can cry, how to find out the reason, how to prevent tearfulness, you will learn from the wonderful book by the practicing child psychiatrist Alevtina Lugovskaya. Using her advice and recommendations, you will not only change the character of the baby, but also learn how to become both a mother and a true friend to him.

Chapter 1

Let's start, dear parents, let's figure out what baby crying is and how it can be caused. It is important to find out this, because only by knowing the roots of tears, you can eliminate both. And I also want to say that parents think wrongly, who, not understanding why the child sheds endless tears, thereby consider crying unreasonable. Believe me, this does not happen.

Crying is a signal that reflexively occurs in infants due to hunger, thirst, the desire to sleep and the urge to natural remedies. Subsequently, crying signals any unpleasant, unbearable feeling, reaching the degree of affect: acute anxiety and fear, sadness and longing, irritation and excitement.

The various functions of crying - whim (hysteria), protest, request, demand, complaint (offense), cry-signal, cry-detente - make up a complex psychological structure, that is, a kind of language.

For extraneous hearing, children's crying is an unpleasant irritant. Mom always knows how to catch notes in him that indicate what her baby wants. If adults try to use any means to stop a child's crying, they risk not only increasing the distance between themselves and him, but also erecting a real wall of indifference and misunderstanding.

However, there are children who cry clearly more than others. They shed tears for every reason: sympathizing with their favorite characters in a fairy tale, or seeing a dead butterfly, hearing screams and loud voices, experiencing physical pain, or coming into conflict with someone.

Crying is a strong mental experience, a kind of emotional shake-up that occurs against the background of previous tension, excitement or inhibition.

It can be the result of a discharge of tension, like an overflowing thundercloud from which rain falls. The relief experienced after crying to some extent contributes to an improvement in mood, thus representing a means of regulating emotional tone.

Sometimes crying speaks of limiting vital interests and needs that the child cannot reconcile with, of humiliation of his self-esteem, insult and resentment. Often it arises as a way to attract the attention of parents, as a kind of request for help, to intervene, to resolve this or that exciting problem. In emotionally indifferent parents, the crying of the baby in this case reaches the gradation of a cry of despair, as if urging them to be more responsive to him. He thus complains about the one who offended him, about feeling unwell, pain, inability to realize his desires.

Many parents complain about the restless behavior of their children: whims, irritability, tears over every trifle, turning into tantrums when the child falls to the floor, begins to beat his legs or arms. We must try to find out the cause of this behavior and try to eliminate it.

Especially often the mother is alarmed by the inexplicable cry of an infant. In such cases, if you are convinced that there is no visible cause for concern, and the doctor, having examined him, concluded that he is healthy, you should not run up to him with every cry, pick him up and please him, feed him at the wrong time, just to calm him down . Otherwise, the baby will get used to the fact that with a cry he can achieve everything he wants. Wrong techniques will calm him only for a short time.

To begin with, crying in the first years of his life, the baby expresses natural needs, that is, he wants to eat, drink, relieve himself, or he is uncomfortable in wet clothes. The child does not yet know how to speak and expresses all his desires through crying, thus attracting the attention of his parents.

Later, when the baby learns to pronounce his first words and, it would seem, should already express his desires with them, he still cries and is naughty if he wants something. This happens reflexively, because the subconscious contains information about this way of fulfilling desires.

Nervous irritability often arises in him if he relentlessly demands the impossible. Sometimes he doesn’t need this object at all, he’s just used to screaming and crying to get his way.

It is also possible that at an early age a child is taught to be calm and cheerful only in the presence of adults. He feels comfortable only when someone is nearby, they pay attention to him. And this is undesirable, as it is fraught with unpleasant consequences.

If the baby does not find something to do and feels the need for direct contact with parents, he can express his desire to attract the attention of adults, tears, whimpers, complaints of various misfortunes and thus achieve his goal. If he is very small, they will take him in his arms and try to calm him down, that is, they will show some kind of attention.

Communication means a lot to a child. Those parents who pay enough attention to this are doing the right thing. But you should not indulge and fulfill all whims: give everything that you ask, constantly take it in your arms and relentlessly be around, discarding all business and worries.

Around the sixth week of life, often at the onset of evening, the baby begins to cry, writhe, show signs of illness. At the same time, he is clean, he has drunk enough water, he is not hot ... This state is called “evening anxiety”. Don't be scared. This often happens, but passes, as it corresponds to a phase of restless awakening, which disappears by the third month of life. He has no other way to discharge the tension accumulated during the day, and he discharges in this way. Consider that these are the difficulties of adapting the newborn to the rhythms of day and night.

When the baby starts teething, he becomes very irritable and whiny. Teeth are a very painful process: the gums swell, itch and hurt, saliva runs strongly, his temperature rises.

Crying can also be the result of an emotional disorder, when the baby is afraid or unable to express his feelings and desires aloud. This is possible when in contact with strangers, unfamiliar people. Often on the street or in transport we hear such expressions: “Stop squealing, otherwise I’ll give you to my uncle!” or “If you kick your aunt with her legs, she will take you with her!”

Usually such threats give a negative result. But there are children with a very sensitive and vulnerable psyche, such warnings make a very strong impression on them, cause fear. And the words “Come on, come on, I’ll take her to me!” can cause panic horror at the prospect of spending your whole life in the company of strangers. After all, the baby takes everything said at face value.

Such threats develop in children a persistent rejection of strangers, and in the future, after all, they feel free and at ease only in a familiar environment, in the circle of relatives and relatives.

If the baby is cold or hot, and he does not know how to talk about it, he will naturally begin to cry. He also expresses his emotions when he recovers in his pants. Of course, who likes to walk around in wet clothes! And the kid calls with a loud cry to correct annoying misunderstandings.

Irritability, tears, and moodiness are sometimes the result of experience overload when you take him shopping, visiting, walking in the park, going to the zoo, or riding on carousels, where there are a lot of people and noise. Toddlers react differently to noises and large crowds of people: some quickly get used to it, while others are very afraid and may even get sick as a result.

The baby does not want to go to bed, so he starts to act up and cry. All your tenderness may not be enough if the child does not want to go to bed, his crying fills all corners of the house. It will take a lot of patience to resolve this situation. Such crying should be treated as a process of gradual re-education, like weaning from a bad habit.

Children, like adults, also have dreams. But since the child cannot yet find an explanation for many objects and phenomena, they naturally frighten him. As you know, we most often have dreams related to previous events. And if he dreamed of something unfamiliar, incomprehensible, this causes his fear and - as a result - tears. In other words, the kid had a nightmare.

He can burst into tears not only because of a terrible dream. There are a lot of things in the world that the child does not yet know and cannot explain, hence the strong fear, and the baby begins to cry up to hysteria and painful spasms.

When a child falls ill and cannot explain what hurts him, he begins to cry from pain, act up, refuse to eat, and sleep restlessly.

In the first years of his life, he is under the constant supervision of a local doctor. It is very important that he not be afraid of his visit. Usually, children associate a white coat with pain, injections, an unpleasant sensation when they listen to it or look at the throat, and they start crying, even hysterically, they resist, fight, do not allow the doctor to do an examination, push his hands away.

Crying is a natural reaction if the baby falls or hits. Of course he hurts. Children generally take their failures very seriously. Even if he hit a little, he will still make a whole tragedy out of it, because it is important for him to be paid attention to, sympathize with and regret.

Sometimes children do not want to wear what their parents offer them - and again whims, tears and other actions up to throwing clothes.

Not all children quickly get used to the kindergarten. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort and patience to adapt to a new environment and get used to other kids. After all, the child considered it natural that his mother should always be with him. Getting into an unfamiliar environment and losing sight of his parents, the baby gets scared and starts looking for them, expressing his displeasure by crying.

He may cry if other children hurt him. For example, they pushed him, didn’t share a toy, took away a book with interesting pictures…

By crying, he expresses dissatisfaction when something does not work out for him. For example, a child tried to put on socks on his own, but unsuccessfully. The sock turns over, the leg does not want to get into it. The baby begins to get nervous and cry, as if attracting the attention of adults to help him.

In the early years, the kids sweat a lot, recovering in diapers or sliders. All this negatively affects the condition of their skin. Therefore, it is very important to bathe them regularly. But not everyone loves water procedures and express their dissatisfaction with screams and crying, they arrange “concerts”, attracting the attention of not only relatives and friends, but even neighbors who listen in bewilderment to loud screams behind the wall and painfully wonder what they are doing with child, since he cries so hysterically.

Tears can be the result of punishment. They generally greatly affect the mental development of the child. He can withdraw, become embittered, because he sees the connection between his behavior and punishment, evaluating it only as violence on the part of adults.

Punishment for no reason, when he is not at all guilty, seems especially offensive to the baby. For example, on a walk someone pushed him into the mud, naturally, he got dirty, got scared and burst into tears. Arriving home, he seeks sympathy from his mother, and she starts yelling at him, because she will have to do the laundry again. She did not understand the situation, did not ask him about how it happened. As a result, the child, crying and offended, stands in the corner, serving his sentence.

A crying child, being in a state of passion, does not perceive comments, advice, orders well, which means that it is useless to educate while crying. It is unacceptable to punish him who is crying, since he can easily forget what he was punished for, and the very state of crying is inherently a punishment for him.

There is a popular belief that children's tears are easy to dry. Indeed, the duration of the emotional state in children under five years of age is relatively short, but the strength of emotions is not inferior, and sometimes even exceeds a similar state in adults.

The grief of a child over the loss of a beloved kitten is no less great than the grief of an adult who has lost a loved one. And it is simply impossible to dismiss him in such a situation, even if he forgets about it in two weeks. And the fear of being abandoned in the locker room of the kindergarten? It seems to adults that 15 minutes will not change anything, and they are wrong.

Experiences and emotions require a lot of power, so do not oversaturate the baby's day with a set of events, even if they are pleasant ones. This can cause unexpected vomiting, moodiness, tearfulness, and sleep disturbance.

Chapter 2. What should parents do?

You can’t ignore the crying of a son or daughter at all. This can cause irreparable damage to trust in adults. When crying is clearly hysterical, the best thing is not to reinforce it with increased attention, but to provide an opportunity for the release of nervous tension. In other cases, crying should be dealt with, which is possible only with confidential contact and a guarantee of the absence of punishment.

First of all, the baby cries, expressing natural needs. This is very easy to find out by offering him food or drink. He cries that he has a wet diaper or clothes. Check and change them. An older child, perhaps, is asking for a potty. Acting in such a situation is as easy as shelling pears: put him on the potty and stay with him, distract him with a conversation or show him a toy.

He may burst into tears if he is hot or, conversely, cold. You will determine this by the condition of his skin: the skin will be wet, sweaty if he is hot, and cool, with pimples (goose bumps) if the baby is cold. Finding out the cause, try to eliminate it. In general, it is very undesirable for kids to overheat, it is more terrible for them than the cold. Do not make a sissy out of it, do not wrap it up, turning it into cabbage, this will quickly lead to diseases.

Tearfulness and whims are most often a consequence of the disease. He may scream because his tummy hurts, there is no stool for more than the allotted time. To eliminate discomfort, use a light massage of the abdomen. Massage is performed clockwise, with stroking movements. Keep your hands warm, use baby cream to better glide your hands over his body.

If there is no effect, remove the gases. To do this, put the baby on the left side and bend his legs, pressing them to the tummy. You can use another method - insert a gas outlet tube. The last resort, if there is no positive result, is an enema. Put the baby on his left side and make an enema with warm boiled water.

In the event of a serious illness, in no case do not self-medicate, because you do not know what the child is sick with. Call the local doctor at home. The first symptoms of the disease, as a rule, are lethargy, drowsiness, refusal to eat. Pay attention to the condition of the skin, look at the neck, check the stool. Be sure to measure your body temperature.

As you know, when a child is sick, his appetite decreases, so do not feed him through force, do not give food as much as possible. Another important point: even if the baby is sick, do not force him to stay in bed. Since the constant stay in bed is accompanied by crying due to the unwillingness to lie down, know that the baby will spend no less energy on tears than on walking.

Dress it according to the temperature regime, but in no case half the wardrobe - overheating is very dangerous for children, especially when they are sick.

It often happens that even after recovery, a nervous and tearful state persists. Be patient. Do not answer him with your irritation and screams, but first of all, take care of strict observance of the established regimen in accordance with the condition and age of the child: put him to bed on time, feed him properly and be in the fresh air more often. Give your child as much care and affection as possible, because even an adult, when sick, requires increased attention. Try to distract him from the consequences that the disease has led to (weakness, imbalance), do not break the usual regimen, this can only do harm.

The child cries, is naughty, does not want to go to the doctor. First of all, you need to talk to him, explain why you are going to the clinic and how this visit will go. The relationship between the child and the doctor is formed through the parents, because it is they who bring him to the appointment, explain the reason for the visit, the symptoms of the disease. Therefore, it is very important to explain to him that there is nothing terrible in such a visit, that he will not be hurt there. In no case should you scare a child with injections and a hospital. Imagine that you can instill fear and dislike for people in white coats in a baby for life.

The child is naughty, cries, does not want to go to bed. Of course, because from the first days of his life he got used to your constant presence, does not want to part, leave toys and go to bed. He needs you to be around for a while. Sit on the edge of the bed, tell him some kind story, fairy tale, read a book or just look at pictures with him. You can quietly sing a song or just talk about the past day.

This will allow the baby to calmly end his day. Ask him about what interesting happened, share with him your affairs, but do it in a way that he understands. His favorite toy should be nearby so that he can reach it. After all, children love to sleep with toys. At this moment, you should give the baby maximum attention and affection, as this is very important for him and for you and helps to strengthen your relationship.

Sometimes the baby, on the contrary, is naughty because he wants to sleep, but does not fall asleep. Lull him, caress him, give him a relaxing massage. Stay with him for a while, try to set him up for sleep.

To teach your baby to voluntarily go to bed, the first step is to calm him down. Let him cry for a few minutes, then come and pet him. Gradually increase the time gap before coming to him when he starts to cry. Over time, he will realize that he was not abandoned when he sleeps, loving parents are nearby. You will let him know that you love him, that you are always with him. So he will calm down, get used to it and fall asleep without whims.

If the baby refuses to eat, do not force-feed him, do not yell at him. Stock up on patience. Say what you need to eat to grow up big and healthy, like dad; put a toy on the table and “feed” it, alternating - one spoon for the doll, the other for him. There is another well-known way - this is to eat a spoon for each of the family members: for dad, for mom, for grandmother ...

Your baby does not like and does not want to bathe. What to do in such a situation? First of all, try to explain to him why this is being done. Explain the importance of cleanliness of the body. Remember the fairy tale "Moydodyr" about a boy from whom all his clothes ran away because he was dirty. Remind him how he has been sick lately and try to convince him that if he bathes he will never get sick.

Use a variety of toys that can be washed. Now there are many clockwork waterfowl toys that can distract him when bathing. Blow bubbles together. The most important thing is that you should be nearby, in no case do not leave the baby alone in the bathroom, because he can not only choke, but also be very scared of water.

Sometimes the reluctance to bathe is due to the ingress of soap or shampoo into the eyes. He still feels uncomfortable, so he starts crying. Use special detergents for children that will not cause irritation if it gets into your eyes.

The kid is stubborn and does not want to get dressed, starts to get nervous, cry, scatter clothes. Find out why he protests. Maybe he wants to wear his favorite thing, let him, if possible, make his choice. Or, showing a thing, interest in some pattern, say that the blouse or pants are beautiful, warm and comfortable.

Sometimes the baby does not like the clothes because they are uncomfortable for him, but he cannot put it into words. If you go outside and the child objects to a warm jacket, explain that it is cold outside, show that you will also dress warmly. But in no case go on screaming, do not dress the child by force. This will negatively affect your future relationship.

The kid grows, develops, learns, acquires some skills. When something does not work out for him, he can burst into tears, scatter objects, toys. Crying in this case, he calls you for help, since he himself cannot cope. Find out what he wants. Help him to do this, but do not yell at him, and even more so do not help him silently. It might look something like this: “Let me help you. I'll show you how to do it and you'll do it again" or "Let's do it together."

The child does not want to go to a nursery or kindergarten. Keep in mind that he finds himself in an environment unfamiliar to him and the period of adaptation can be very different - someone gets used to it very quickly, while the other will need more time. After all, the baby is deprived of your presence and is very afraid to stay in an unfamiliar environment without you.

Explain to him why you are sending him to kindergarten. Try to suggest that you are not doing this to get rid of him, not because you are tired of him, you are tired or you have more important things to do, but to help him spend his time more interesting and richer.

To make the baby adapt faster, you need effort and patience. In no case should you drag the child to the kindergarten by force, yell at him and scare him that you will not take him home if he does not stop crying. Try to ensure that going to kindergarten does not become a psychological trauma for him, but, on the contrary, turns out to be a joyful event. It should be prepared in advance for this.

Arriving in the kindergarten, the baby should already have the skills to wash, dress independently, sit on the potty. Therefore, instill in him the necessary everyday skills in advance so that he has more time for games and there are no offensive problems associated with the inability to do something on his own.

Tell us more about the kindergarten, about what the child will do there. Be sure to say that he is already big and you are proud of him, because he can now go to kindergarten, just like you can go to work.

Try to convince him that they will not offend him in the kindergarten, that there are other children and toys there. You can take his favorite toy with you so that he is calmer, since a piece of the house and everything that he is used to is with him. Don't run away as soon as you bring your baby. Slowly undress him and lead him into the group by the hand, interest him in something so that the baby is distracted.

There are children who cannot get used to the kindergarten for a very long time, they are afraid to go there, they resist, they cry. In a group, they hide in a corner, do not play with anyone, and avoid educators. First of all, try to talk with the child, establish the reason, maybe the teachers treat him badly or offend other children?

In the kindergarten, in the course of communication, kids, like adults, may have conflict situations. Most often this is due to toys. They can push him, offend him, take away the toy with which he wanted to play. Talk to him and, having found out the reason, try to eliminate it, but this does not mean that you urgently need to transfer the baby to another nursery or kindergarten. Be patient, act gradually, ask him in detail about what he did, with whom he played. All this will help him to believe that he will be fine in the kindergarten, and he can perfectly play with other children before his mother arrives.

As you know, children are very fond of outdoor games, love to run and very often fall, get dirty. You can not punish for this, shout. This is natural for his age and very useful for his development. Imagine what will happen from a child if he sits quietly on a chair, having lost his usual mobility? Muscle weakness may develop, he will be more prone to diseases, lagging behind his peers.

If the baby fell, hit hard, tore off his knees, do not yell at him, he is already scared. Try to calm, distract, carefully treat the wounds. Explain that it is not so scary and will heal soon.

If the baby is “overloaded” with impressions, it is difficult for him to understand and perceive a large amount of information received, to “digest” it, he begins to act up, cry. It is necessary to talk with him about his impressions, try to find out what annoys him or, on the contrary, interested him. If something is not clear to him, do not brush it off, try to explain it to him so that he understands.

In no case should you frighten and deceive a child. The shock caused by fright can have a detrimental effect on his psyche, he may begin to stutter, twitch, be afraid of the dark, loud noises, a room in which there is no one. If the baby is naughty, crying, in no case frighten him with wolves, witches and other scary characters, this can lead to the development of mental illness.

Sometimes the baby may cry because he is just bored. Try to cheer him up. Offer him something to do, do something together. Get your child interested. Look at a picture book, play something, in the end, just chat with him. Very often, parents dismiss their children, citing their fatigue, employment. All this can end badly enough. He will close in on himself, hold a grudge, and you risk losing not only his trust, but also the child as a person in general.

There is no simple and universal recipe here. However, it can be said with certainty that sensitivity and vulnerability are signs of the mental make-up of such children, properties of their nervous system. You cannot change these innate features at will. Moreover, such means of educational influence as persuasion, reproaches, punishments, screams, ridicule will not help here, but rather even bring a negative result. Any violent measures will cause an increase in tension and excitement, weaken the baby's nervous system even more, take away strength and self-confidence.

Even the most loving parents will not be able to protect their child from life's troubles, because you can't keep a child under a glass cap all the time. Therefore, the easiest tactic in dealing with such children is not to get annoyed by their crying. But being with them is the best way to calm them down. Let him feel that you are ready to help him, because this is so important to him.

Try to switch his attention to something else, give some specific task so that it interests the baby and, of course, is within his power.

In a word, the most important thing that is required of parents is patience. Do not forget that high emotional sensitivity is closely related to responsiveness, kindness, cordiality, readiness to help, stand up for the weak, and these are very valuable human qualities!

Therefore, no matter how strange it sounds, listen to the children's crying, delve into its meaning, and do not try to interrupt it as quickly as possible, dry the children's tears. Crying and tears are the language of children's communication, so do not be deaf to it just because you have forgotten how to speak it yourself.

If a child is afraid of strangers, of course, he expresses this with the help of tears. Fear of strangers is a typical form of maladjusted behavior of a baby. It is at this time that he is in dire need of your support, understanding, and protection. A calm, friendly family atmosphere helps to relieve tension and makes it easy to cope with the problem.

The child's world is still mostly limited by the walls of the house, the courtyard or the kindergarten, so the appearance of an unfamiliar face causes the baby's alertness. If a stranger behaves harmlessly from his point of view, for example, does not touch his toys, lacks his parents in an armful, alertness gradually disappears. Otherwise, it can develop into a panic fear and even a persistent phobia.

It is good when parents are sympathetic to this problem. This means that they will not allow themselves to commit violence against a child just in order to demonstrate to their acquaintances their achievements in the field of raising the younger generation.

If your baby is crying, do not rush to call a doctor or stuff him with pills and potions, just pat him on the head. The warm soft hands of the mother touched the baby, stroked the back, tummy, chest, lingered a little longer on the forehead, and the baby calmed down.

Amazing effect, right? But there is nothing unusual about this. It has long been known that massage has a calming effect, especially if it is done by the mother. She, as it were, conveys her warmth, calmness to the baby, and he stops crying and being capricious. By showing maximum patience and attention, in the future you will be rewarded for this with the health and well-being of your child.

Chapter 3

How to win the trust of a child? How to call him to frankness? Parents very often ask themselves this question, but sometimes, unfortunately, it is too late when it is very difficult to regain lost trust, respect and authority.

First of all, do not lose this trust. Indeed, from the very first days of his existence, the baby sees in you his protection and always runs to his mother when someone offends him or something does not work out for him. So do not rush to break the physical and emotional unity that arises between you and the child. Smile, talk to the baby, and it does not matter that he does not understand the meaning of your words, the main thing for him is that they communicate with him, the intonation with which you pronounce the words matters.

The unity that has been established between you and the baby from the very first days of its existence will, of course, change over time, but it will still remain the unity of mother and child, which has only passed into a new, meaningful quality. You will get rid of many problems if you become for him not only a mother, but also a friend.

The child is able to feel and understand whether he is loved, whether he is happy, whether he is treated with respect. So, it’s not enough to tell him that he is loved, he must fully find confirmation of this so that it doesn’t turn out that you tell him about your love, but in fact he feels very lonely.

Deception leads to the fact that the child gradually loses trust in adults, because at any moment he expects danger. Constant alertness unnerves him, makes him shy and whiny. In no case should you fraudulently achieve something from him.

For example, if mom went to the store, and dad says that mom will be back soon and bring something sweet, the baby begins to run from window to window in anticipation. And when the mother finally comes and does not bring the sweets promised by the father, he gets disappointed, and he cries out of resentment. If this happens repeatedly, the baby will no longer trust you.

The lack of maternal love and attention leads to the fact that the baby withdraws into himself, becomes lonely next to loved ones. But childhood loneliness is a rather terrible thing. Parents are engaged in solving their problems: career, finances, personal life - leaving the child to himself, limiting the relationship with him exclusively to issues of care.

Communication with peers is very important. And if the baby is embarrassed to make contact with other children, he needs help. The help of adults is invaluable here. It must be introduced to other children by name, asked what they are playing and whether they will accept another participant. Usually, there is always someone among the guys who takes the newcomer under his protection, helps him get used to the new company.

But sometimes it happens that they can offend him, call him names, come up with an offensive nickname for him. After such incidents, the child closes, preferring loneliness.

It may turn out that his own misconduct, which caused severe emotional stress, made him unsociable. Playing with other children, the baby could inadvertently drop his comrade, get hit by a snowball ... The sight of blood and inconsolable sobs can have a strong impact on the psyche of the baby. As a result, he refuses the usual games, does not communicate with friends, does not go out, sitting at home for hours, and responds to all persuasion with a stream of tears.

In this case, you can not persuade him or swear. You can help him restore peace of mind by talking, explaining the situation so that his guilt complex dissipates.

The busyness of modern adults is one of the signs of our time, when parents, in addition to their main job, manage to run part-time jobs, have two jobs, and take things home. What if the child is raised by a single mother? Here the question of raising a normal, full-fledged person is very acute.

The decision to have a child is connected with the acceptance by adults of responsibility for his fate. But to consider yourself the root cause of everything that happens to him is by no means wrong. The child is responsible for his actions. It is worth asking him to do something himself, he will understand that he must be responsible for his actions. Endless instructions and parting words, and even more so lamentations and lamentations after his unseemly act, will lead him to aggression.

In order to understand your child, change his behavior, make contact or regain lost trust, you must first change yourself. Open your eyes. After all, you are accustomed to forbid everything to him and demanded unconditional obedience. It's convenient for you. But try to understand that the child has his own "I", his own affairs, aspirations, needs, independence. Realizing this, you can soberly assess your relationship with him.

Analyze your behavior, your attitude towards the baby, every gesture, word, action, put yourself in his place, and this will allow you to establish mutual understanding.

It is important to understand that education is cooperation, interaction, mutual influence, mutual enrichment (emotional, moral, spiritual, intellectual) between adults and a child.

In order to successfully raise a child, parents must certainly correct their behavior, engage in self-education, and not set bad examples. If you want to get from him the unquestioning fulfillment of your requirements, which you yourself do not actually follow, you will succeed only through coercive measures: the child will fulfill the requirements formally, because of the fear of punishment. This fear ultimately breeds deceit, hypocrisy, cunning...

Do we understand our children? To understand a person means to see the reasons for his actions, to explain the motives that prompted him to act in a certain way. To learn to understand, it is necessary to reduce the excessive demands that he is simply not able to fulfill.

It is possible to explain the child's behavior by analyzing the conditions under which its development occurs. If the baby was constantly shouted at, physically punished, he would most likely develop a need to avoid such shocks and, as a result, such negative traits as deceit, fearfulness, distrust, aggressiveness will appear ...

If the baby was protected from labor and adults did everything for him, the child becomes lazy, weak-willed, will avoid any business, which means they will pretend, fawn, trick, deceive.

Another option is when the baby was simply spoiled: they bought expensive things and toys, they did not refuse him anything. Such a child develops exorbitant claims, but at the same time an inability to protect things and appreciate the work invested in them. Remember that the lack of communication cannot be filled with expensive toys, things, unquestioning fulfillment of all his desires.

The baby will develop poorly intellect, thinking, the ability to experience, interest in knowledge, if you have not read books to him, communicated little with him. After all, intellectual inclinations are laid from early childhood, so communicate with him, teach him to love books, but do not force him to read - you will get the opposite, negative effect.

Sometimes parents are very zealous in the education of their children. From an early age, they hire tutors, give them to prestigious kindergartens and educational institutions with special biases, load them with music schools, dances, etc. But somehow they forget to ask him if he likes all this. Note that a very small number of children are engaged in singing, dancing, music with pleasure.

Do not load the baby with what he is not interested in. Try to find out his addictions and find the appropriate occupation. Give him the right to choose, the right to decide for himself what to do.

Develop children's abilities from early childhood. Awaken attention in their soul, excite ideas and observation. To do this, use a variety of objects, learn to describe them, talk about their purpose. Develop mental abilities that will help your baby find himself in the future.

To develop a child's feelings of love, compassion, you can get some kind of pet. He will proudly tell everyone that he has a hamster or a kitten. Show your child how to properly care for him, what to feed him, how to treat him in general. If you notice that he offends the animal, explain that he is also alive and it hurts. Tell that the animal has lost its parents, it is very lonely, and it needs someone to take care of it.

Teach him to take care of the animal himself, and you will see what the result will be. This will instill in him not only a love for nature and animals, but will help him understand his significance, the need for someone, and relieve the feeling of loneliness. The child will look at your relationship with him with different eyes, which will help strengthen them.

Understand that what the baby is doing is extremely important for him, even if it seems to you that this is not so. Let me give you an example from my own practice. A young mother came to see me and said: “Once my son came up to me and asked me to play with him. At that time, I was watching an interesting program and explained to the baby that I was busy now, and I would play with him later. After some time, when I went into the child's room, I saw that he was putting a toy under the bed, then taking it out and putting it back in. I called the child to dinner, to which I received the following answer: “I’m busy now, I’ll come later.”

The woman did not know how to react to such an answer. This was repeated many times. I explained to the young mother that the child imitates her in everything, and, in his opinion, what he does is very important for him. Therefore, he does not understand his mother's indignation at his behavior. After all, he was waiting for an important program for his mother to end. So why doesn't she want to wait?

Sometimes, in order for a child to understand what care and respect is, he himself needs to take care of someone. For example, you come home from work, you are tired, you have a severe headache, there are troubles at work. The kid looks at you inquisitively, wondering why you are in such a state. Ask him to bring you a drink. Tell him, without going into details, that you were offended at work, let the baby show sympathy, let him pity you. So he will understand that you need him, you cannot live without him.

If you notice a tendency to lie in your baby, try to discover the reason. Often lies arise from fear of punishment. Do not punish him too severely, especially as cruel corporal punishments should be avoided. Try to find out why the child lied, delve into his problem. Maybe, after talking with him, you will save him not only from this vice, fear, but also from other complexes.

Let the baby show his importance, reckon with his desires (reasonable, of course!). After all, self-expression is the main, urgent need of human nature.

Let your baby participate in your activities, whether you're cleaning the floor or making breakfast. It is very important for him to feel that he is trusted to do something on an equal basis with adults. After all, children from an early age begin to imitate their parents, very quickly absorbing everything they see and hear. Involving a child in some business not only teaches him to work, but also brings him closer to his parents. Such a child will treat his parents with respect and understanding, to what they do.

It is not necessary to entrust the baby with something difficult, with which he is not able to cope. Give him a task that he can complete: wash his cup, wipe the dust off the table, finally put his toys away. Praise him, say that he helped you a lot and without him you would not have coped.

In no case do not scream if the baby is trying to do something that he is not able to handle. See how he tries to do it, help him. Tell him he's good.

If, for example, you decide to sew something for yourself, and your daughter is spinning next to the doll, involve her in your occupation. Give me scraps of fabric, let him do something too. If she can't do something, help her. Do not forget about praise, because it means a lot to a child.

Or another situation: dad is making a shelf in the hallway. The little son is spinning nearby, grabs tools, nails, “gets confused” underfoot. Do not chase him away, do not be afraid that he will hit his fingers with a hammer or drop the tool on his foot. Let him help, say that without him nothing will work. Give such a task that he will happily complete it and that it is safe for him. You will see an amazing result when the son proudly tells everyone that he and his dad made a shelf.

Joint games that bring not only pleasure, but also educational information have a very positive effect on relations with the child. Children's games are their main occupation, but they should be directed in such a way that they arouse the harmonious activity of all the mental faculties of the baby, avoiding one-sidedness.

Offer him a speed game, for example, who will collect the pyramid faster. Of course, you should give in, and when the baby proudly shows that he did it first, praise him.

Playing with the baby or doing some business, you get close to him. The child is interested in you, you are one.

Walking has a very positive effect on family relationships. You have probably often seen a picture when a baby, holding tightly to the hands of his father and mother, proudly walks for a walk. Run with him, play some games, swing on a swing, roll in the snow or throw snowballs at the target. Joint walks not only cheer up, contribute to better physical development of the baby, but also strengthen relationships.

Small children, it would seem, at such an unintelligent age, surprisingly subtly perceive any, including the most intimate, feelings of their parents. Under normal conditions, it is the harmonious combination of these feelings that creates a feeling of confidence and happiness in the child.

In order for mutual understanding and trust to exist between you, you must give all your love and attention to the baby, from early childhood teach him to work, respect adults, and value friendship. Give him as much attention as possible, do not dismiss his childhood problems as an annoying fly.

Try to become a real friend to your child, and then you will see his shining eyes and understand that for him you are not just a mother, an object of adoration and admiration, reliable protection and support, you are his most faithful and reliable friend.