Women from venus men ucp php mode. Gray John - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Miracles in my life

26.06.2020

INTRODUCTION

A week after our daughter Lauren was born, Bonnie and I were feeling completely exhausted. At night, the child kept waking us up. During childbirth, Bonnie had severe tears and had to take painkillers. Even walking was very difficult for her. I spent five days at home helping my wife, but then, of course, I had to go back to work. Bonnie seemed to be starting to recover.

When I was not at home, she discovered that she had run out of medicine. Instead of calling me at work, she asked one of my brothers, who had just come to visit her, to get some pills. However, he apparently forgot about the order. As a result, Bonnie was in pain for a whole day, while also having to fiddle with the newborn.

And I had no idea that this day was so terrible for her. Coming home from work, I found my wife unhappy and angry. Not knowing the true reason for Bonnie's condition, I thought that her reproach was addressed to me.

I've been going crazy with pain all day, - she said, - and I ran out of pills ... I barely had the strength to get out of bed, and no one gives a damn about it!

Why didn't you call me? I objected, feeling undeservedly offended.

I asked your brother, but he, you see, forgot! I waited for him all day. And now what do you want me to do? I can hardly walk. Looks like no one cares about me!

This is where I exploded. Apparently, the tension of the last few days has not gone unnoticed for me either: endurance has betrayed me. I was angry with my wife for not calling me and for blaming me when I didn't even know she was that bad. We exchanged a few sharp words, after which I headed for the door. Tired, irritated, I did not want to hear anything more. We've both reached the limit.

And the next moment marked the beginning of what later changed my whole life.

Bonnie pleaded after me:

Wait! Please, do not go. Right now I need you more than ever. Everything hurts me. I didn't sleep for several days. Please listen to me.

I stopped—or rather, slowed down.

John Grey," Bonnie continued, "you're the kind of person who's only a friend when the weather is nice. While I was your tender, loving Bonnie, you were next to me, and now that I can't be like that, you strive to escape through this door.

She fell silent. I turned around and saw that her eyes filled with tears. When the wife spoke again, her voice trembled:

Right now I feel bad, it hurts me. Now there's nothing I can give, now I need you. Please come and hug me. You don't have to say anything. I just need to feel your arms supporting me. Do not leave me please.

I walked over and silently hugged her. Bonnie leaned her head against my shoulder and burst into tears. We stood like that for several minutes. Then, calming down a bit, she thanked me for not leaving. “I just needed to feel your touch,” she admitted.

It was at that moment that the true meaning of love began to open to me - unconditional, not dependent on external conditions. I have always considered myself a person capable and able to love. But Bonnie was right. I really turned out to be "a friend in good weather." As long as my wife was sweet and cheerful, I responded with love to her love. But when she was sad or upset, I got irritated, showing my displeasure, or simply moved away from her.

That day was the first time I didn't leave Bonnie alone. And what I experienced in doing so was wonderful. Giving without expecting anything in return, being there when you are truly needed: that's true love, I realized. Take care of the other person. Trust our love. Now that Bonnie told me what to do, I was amazed at how easy it was for me.

How did I not come to this with my mind? After all, she just needed me to come up and hug her. If I were a woman, she would instinctively understand. But I, a man, did not know to what extent this, it turns out, is important: for your hand to feel the touch of the hand of a loved one, for you to be hugged, to be listened to. For the first time, realizing these differences, I took the first step towards understanding, towards a new attitude towards my wife. A day earlier, I would never have believed that we would be able to resolve such conflicts with such ease.

Previously, in my relationships with women, in difficult moments I either showed indifference, or sought to move away - simply because I did not know what else to do. As a result, my first marriage was difficult and caused a lot of pain for me and my wife. And now this incident with Bonnie taught me what to do so that this does not happen again.

He inspired me to seven years of research to get to the bottom of what men and women really are. Studying the differences between them both in practical and in specific terms, I suddenly began to understand that there is no need to turn marriage into a constant struggle. By recognizing the differences between us, Bonnie and I are quite capable of fundamentally changing the nature of our communication and enjoying it much more than before.

John GRAY

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS

INTRODUCTION

I've been going crazy with pain all day, - she said, - and I ran out of pills ... I barely had the strength to get out of bed, and no one gives a damn about it!

Why didn't you call me? I objected, feeling undeservedly offended.

I asked your brother, but he, you see, forgot! I waited for him all day. And now what do you want me to do? I can hardly walk. Looks like no one cares about me!

And the next moment marked the beginning of what later changed my whole life.

Bonnie pleaded after me:

Wait! Please, do not go. Right now I need you more than ever. Everything hurts me. I didn't sleep for several days. Please listen to me.

I stopped—or rather, slowed down.

She fell silent. I turned around and saw that her eyes filled with tears. When the wife spoke again, her voice trembled:

John Gray

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. A new version for the modern world. Skills, skills, techniques for a happy relationship

With the greatest love and admiration, I dedicate this book to my daughter Lauren Gray. Her ideas about the role of women in family relationships have inspired many of the discoveries I share in this book.

John Gray

BEYOND MARS AND VENUS:

Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World

John Gray- Doctor of Philosophy, an internationally recognized expert in the field of relationships. John Gray's bestseller "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" translated into 40 languages and published in over 10,000,000 copies

“John Gray understands the relationship between a man and a woman better than anyone in the world. In the book, he gives long-awaited advice on how to navigate the thorny path of love in our difficult times.

“A true specialist understands that times are changing, so proven methods need to be regularly reviewed and supplemented. John Gray not only understands how amazingly human relations are changing these days: his advice and methodology have not lost their relevance today.”

“Twenty years have passed since the publication of the sensational book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and today John Gray is opening up a new universe of useful tips for maintaining and improving family relationships. Read how he interprets love and intimacy in the 21st century and your world will never be the same.”

“John Gray, unlike many other writers, gurus and mentors, has not left the front line and has been working with living people for twenty-five years, ever since he wrote the book Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. The profound wisdom, spiritual richness, sincerity and practicality of this book is beyond praise! The new bestseller of all time!”

Ken Druck, author of The Secrets Men Keep, The Real Rules of Life, Courageous Aging and How to Heal wounds after the loss of a loved one” (“Healing Your Life After the Loss of a Loved One”), as well as the founder of “executive coaching” (“Executive Coaching”)

“Trust John Gray, who was able to describe the relationship of the sexes on a cosmic scale, in terms of Mars and Venus, and thereby started an endless dialogue about the differences between men and women, and now went further and told how this affects the relationship of men and women in our days. All couples, both traditional and ultra-modern, will learn a lot from this wise philosopher.

“How to achieve true love in today's world full of chaos and stress? How many times have we tried to explain the inexplicable with platitudes like “Well, men are from Mars”, without really going into the meaning of these words? And this is exactly the point: men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, and if you want to build a strong relationship with a partner, the main thing is to understand how traditional roles change and develop, and learn how to adapt to these changes. John Gray's book looks at this evolution from both perspectives. If we get comfortable in new roles, each of us will be seen and heard, and everyone will be able to love and be loved. If we are able to express the innate sides of our nature, we will immediately see our strengths and understand how to cope with stress and find peace of mind. Genuine intimacy and deep love is a gift from above. I love this book."

Susan Somers

John Gray's famous book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, has changed many lives for the better, including mine, and has helped countless people live fuller and happier lives. In the new book you will find wise advice and techniques that are relevant today.”

“The wisdom, insight and rich life experience of John Gray dramatically improved my health and mood and pushed me to success. His wonderful new book teaches amazing methods to strengthen close relationships and develop the ability to love. But this is undoubtedly the most important thing in life.”

Marsha Wieder, Director of Dream University

“John Gray gives brilliant advice on how to maintain family relationships in an environment where gender roles are rapidly changing. His new book is required reading for all couples who seriously want to grow and thrive in love for each other."

“John Gray's new book explores how to apply his advice and insights to the lives of today's couples and picks up where the classic Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus left off. The new book is indeed capable of changing lives for the better. Mine has changed."

“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has taken a fresh look at the relationship between men and women, and its fundamentally new version provides the key to modern, much more complex relationships between men and women. Read it, you won't regret it - and your halves won't regret it!"

Dave Asprey, founder and CEO of Bulletproof and New York Times bestselling author of The Bulletproof Diet

“My wife and I read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus many years ago. This book has radically changed our communication, and we have been married for more than twenty-seven years. We recommend reading it to all couples you know. And now we have read the sequel and we will advise her.”

“John Gray is always one step ahead. He teaches by example, talks about his family, his marriage, the family situations of countless clients and seminar participants. We are well acquainted with him. In books, you often come across unverified claims. And here everything is honest: this is the story of a man whose word does not disagree with his deed, a man who lives every day in love. If you want to better understand yourself and make your relationship sweeter, this book will take you to the next level.”

Arhuna Arda, founder of Awakening Coaching and author of The Translucent Revolution

“This book teaches each of us how to help our partner become ourselves, and in doing so, makes love deeper and makes us the best spouses in the world.”

Current page: 1 (total book has 26 pages) [accessible reading excerpt: 6 pages]

John GRAY
MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS

INTRODUCTION

“I’ve been going crazy with pain all day,” she said, “and I ran out of pills ... I barely had the strength to get out of bed, and nobody cares!”

Why didn't you call me? I objected, feeling undeservedly offended.

- I asked your brother, but he, you see, forgot! I waited for him all day. And now what do you want me to do? I can hardly walk. Looks like no one cares about me!

And the next moment marked the beginning of what later changed my whole life.

Bonnie pleaded after me:

- Wait! Please, do not go. Right now I need you more than ever. Everything hurts me. I didn't sleep for several days. Please listen to me.

I stopped—or rather, slowed down.

"John Grey," Bonnie continued, "you're the kind of person who's only a friend in good weather." While I was your tender, loving Bonnie, you were next to me, and now that I can't be like that, you strive to escape through this door.

She fell silent. I turned around and saw that her eyes filled with tears. When the wife spoke again, her voice trembled:

“Now I feel bad, it hurts. Now there's nothing I can give, now I need you. Please come and hug me. You don't have to say anything. I just need to feel your arms supporting me. Do not leave me please.

It was at this moment that the true meaning of love began to open to me - unconditional, not dependent on external conditions. I have always considered myself a person capable and able to love. But Bonnie was right. I really turned out to be "a friend in good weather." As long as my wife was sweet and cheerful, I responded with love to her love. But when she was sad or upset, I got irritated, showing my displeasure, or simply moved away from her.

Gradually understanding and studying these differences, we have discovered new ways to improve our relations in all areas. We learned things about these relationships that our parents didn't know and therefore couldn't teach us. As I began to share my findings with people who came to me for advice, their family relationships also began to change, enriching themselves greatly. Thousands - literally - of people who attended my Saturday and Sunday seminars noticed rapid and drastic changes in their relationships with partners.

And to this day, seven years later, this sowing continues to bear fruit. I receive photos of happy couples and their children along with letters of gratitude for saving their marriage. Their love kept their marriage for the time being, but the matter would have ended in divorce if they had not gained a deeper understanding of the nature of the opposite sex.

Susan and Jim have been married for nine years. Like most couples, they started with mutual love, but after several years of increasing frustration, the passion faded, and they decided to leave. However, before filing for divorce, the couple came to my seminar on the relationship between the sexes. Susan said then: “We tried our best, but we didn’t succeed. We're just too different people."

They were amazed to learn during the seminar that this "difference" of theirs is not only quite normal, but also a matter of course. They were encouraged by the fact that other couples developed their relationships along the same lines. Just two days was enough for Susan and Jim to gain a whole new understanding of both men and women.

Their love flared up with renewed vigor. Their relationship changed in the most miraculous way. Forgetting about the divorce, they now intended to be together until the last day of their lives. Jim said, “This knowledge of our differences gave me my wife back. This is the biggest gift I could ever receive. We love each other again."

Six years later, when they invited me to visit their new home, I found them still loving each other, and again, for the umpteenth time, they thanked me for helping them understand each other and not part.

Almost everyone agrees that men and women are very different beings; however, most people would find it difficult to determine exactly what these differences are. Over the past ten years, many books have been published, the authors of which have tried to give an appropriate definition. It must be admitted that something has indeed been achieved in this regard, but many of the writings mentioned are sinning with one-sidedness and, unfortunately, only contribute to strengthening mutual distrust and resentment between the sexes. As a rule, one or another of the sexes is exposed in them as a victim of the other. Therefore, it was important to help people understand how healthy men and women differ from each other.

In order to improve relations between the sexes, it is necessary to have such an understanding of our differences that would contribute to the growth of self-respect and personal dignity, mutual trust and personal responsibility, would strengthen the goodwill of partners, their readiness to meet each other halfway, and finally, their love. By interviewing more than 25,000 participants in my seminars on gender relations, I was able to come to very definite and specific conclusions about the differences mentioned. As you study them, you yourself will feel how the wall of mutual resentment and distrust that has risen between you will gradually collapse until it disappears completely.

Open your hearts to each other, and the answer to you will be the readiness and desire to forgive, an increasing need to give your love, support, as well as the confidence that this love and support is mutual. And with this new knowledge, I hope you will go beyond the tips in this book and discover more and more possibilities for a cordial, sincere relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

Every single principle formulated in this book has been tried and tested. At least ninety percent of the nearly 25,000 interviewed ardently confirmed that they recognize themselves in the people described here. If, while reading a book, you catch yourself nodding your head and muttering, “Yes, yes, that’s all about me,” then you’re probably not alone. And the recommendations I give, when put into practice, can make your life easier and change for the better, as well as the lives of other people who follow them.

This book explains a new strategy to ease tensions in relationships and make them warmer. And the first step towards this is the recognition of the fact that men and women are very different creatures and that the differences between them are great and numerous. Further in the book, practical advice is given on how to avoid mutual disappointment, to become truly close, and as a result, happy people, every day more and more happy from the fact that they are together. Who said that life in marriage is necessarily a struggle? Tension, resentment and conflict arise only when we do not understand each other.

And since this happens often, many eventually come to complete disappointment. They love their partner or partner, however, when a tense moment arises, they do not know what to do to defuse the situation. Having understood and realized to what extent men and women are different, you will learn how to build your relationship with a representative of the opposite sex in a new way, listen and support him. You will learn to create the love you deserve. As you read this book, you might even think: how can relationships develop successfully between people who have never looked into it?

This book is a kind of textbook on family relations for people living in the 90s. It shows how great the differences are between men and women in literally every area of their lives. Not only are the ways of communication different: they think differently, feel differently, perceive reality, react differently, love differently. Their needs, the assessments they give are dissimilar. Men and women are like beings from different planets, speaking different languages and needing different education.

This broader understanding of the differences between us helps to avoid many frustrations in communication and relationships with a member of the opposite sex. Thanks to him, we can avoid misunderstandings or quickly resolve them. Each of us expects something from our partner; These expectations are often wrong, but they can be easily corrected. You just need to remember that your partner is a creature of a completely different warehouse, no less different from you than an alien from another planet. Then, instead of constantly being in tension, you can relax tense nerves and try to take advantage and pleasure from these differences, instead of stubbornly ignoring them or trying to remake your partner "for yourself."

And most importantly, with the help of this book, you will learn a practical technique for resolving problems that arise because of our differences. You are offered not just a theoretical analysis of the psychological differences between the sexes, but also a practical training manual for creating and maintaining such relationships that could rightfully be called love.

The truth of these principles is self-evident, and you can evaluate it both from the standpoint of your own experience and from the standpoint of common sense. Numerous examples will simply and clearly express what you have always known intuitively. Such an assessment will help you to remain yourself and not lose your own "I" in your relationship with a partner, regardless of his gender.

Getting acquainted with what I speak and write about, men often react like this:

- This is exactly about me, I'm just like that! What, were you watching me? Now I don't feel like there's something wrong with me.

And women often say:

“Finally, my husband is listening to me. I no longer have to fight to be appreciated by him. When you explain how we differ from each other, my husband understands. Thank you!

Such are the warm reviews I have heard from thousands of people who have discovered that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. This new program of rapport with the opposite sex is producing results that are not only immediate and truly stunning, but also long-term.

Of course, the path to creating a truly loving relationship is not always smooth. It's never without problems. However, these problems can equally serve as a source of mutual resentment and alienation, as well as a reason for even greater rapprochement, strengthening love and trust, and showing care. What is presented in this book is not a proprietary tool for the instant destruction of all problems. Its purpose is to help you find a new way of looking at things, a new approach, thanks to which your very relationship will serve as support and support for you in solving life's problems, if any. This new knowledge is the tool by which you will find the love you deserve and be able to give your loved one the love and support they deserve.

In this book, I make many generalizations about men and women. Probably, some of my comments will seem more true to you, others less ... after all, each of us, human individuals, is what he is, that is, unique, and his life experience is just as unique and individual. Sometimes at my seminars people admit that they recognize themselves in the examples I give, but, so to speak, the opposite is true: a man in a woman, a woman in a man. In other words, it turns out to be closer and more understandable to them the way of thinking and actions of a person of the opposite sex. I call it "reversing the roles".

If you find that something similar is happening to you, I want to assure you that there is nothing to worry about: everything is fine with you. I suggest you do the following: if, while reading this or that place in this book, you do not catch anything in common with yourself or with situations that have taken place in your life, then either do not pay attention to it (and study other examples that are closer to you) or try to look deeper inside yourself. Many men renounce some of their masculine properties and qualities in order to become more open to love, tenderness and care for another person. In the same way, many women give up certain qualities and manifestations inherent in their sex, earning a living in some kind of activity that requires a male grip. If the same thing happened to you, then, using the tips and recommendations given in this book, you will be able not only to bring more passion to your relationship with your partner, but also to achieve - the further, the more - a balance between your masculine and feminine qualities. .

It is not my intention in this book to find out why men and women are so different from each other. This is a complex question, to which there are a great many answers: there are biological differences, and the influence of parents, and upbringing, and the order of birth, and the influence of the cultural order - that is, the influence of society, environment, historical conditions. (These factors are explored in depth in another book of mine, Men, Women and Their Relationships: How to Live in the World with the Opposite Sex.)

Although the effect of applying the recommendations contained in this book is usually immediate, it does not claim to be a panacea for all family problems. Even healthy people, not to mention those who have problems from a medical and family point of view, from time to time, in especially difficult moments of life, need therapy and consultations with specialists in family and marriage problems. I firmly believe in the effectiveness of such means.

However, I have repeatedly heard from people who attended my seminars that a new understanding of the relationship between a man and a woman brought them more benefits than years of therapy. However, I must note that, in my opinion, it was therapy, that is, work to normalize family relations, that created the ground for the recommendations I developed to bear fruit.

If our past has been clouded by problems, then even after several years of training with specialists, we cannot do without a positive picture of healthy relationships. This is the picture that this book offers. On the other hand, even if this past was filled with love and warmth, times have changed and require us to approach the relationship between the sexes differently than before. Therefore, it is so necessary to learn how to communicate and relate to each other in a new way.

The thoughts presented in this book, I believe, will be useful to literally everyone. The only complaint I hear from my seminar participants, and read in the emails I receive, is, "Why didn't anyone tell me about this sooner?"

It's never too late to fill your life with love. You just need to learn a new way of looking at things, whether you are in therapy or not. If you are looking for a more fulfilling relationship with the opposite sex, then this book is for you.

I'm glad to know that you will read it. God bless you after this to become wiser and bring more love into your life. God grant that there are fewer divorces and more happy marriages. Our children deserve a better and more perfect world for them to live in than ours.

John Gray

Mill Valley, California

CHAPTER 1

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS

Imagine that the ancestral home of men was Mars, and women - Venus. One fine day, the Martians, looking through their telescopes, saw Venusian women in them, and this sight awakened hitherto unknown feelings in the inhabitants of the red planet. Having completely fallen in love, the Martians quickly invented a spaceship and rushed to Venus.

The ladies welcomed them with open arms. Their intuition had long told them that this day would come someday, and their hearts opened up to a love never experienced before.

The love between Venusians and Martians changed their lives in the most magical way. They enjoyed each other's company, communication, what they could do together. Children of different worlds, they discovered an abyss of interest in the differences between them and really reveled in studying each other, their so different needs, inclinations, behaviors in certain situations. For many years they lived in love and harmony.

But one fine day they decided to move to Earth. At first, everything went wonderfully for them, but ... The influence of the earth's atmosphere turned out to be such that one morning, when unsuspecting men and women woke up again, it turned out that they all partially lost their memory. Moreover, this amnesia was of a very peculiar - selective nature.

Both Martians and Venusians have forgotten that they come from different planets and that, as a result, they themselves are different. One single morning was enough to erase everything they had learned about their differences from their memory. From that very morning, men and women began to clash and continue to do so to this day.

John Gray

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. A new version for the modern world. Skills, skills, techniques for a happy relationship

John Gray

BEYOND MARS AND VENUS:

Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World

Susan Somers

Marsha Wieder, Director of Dream University

Dave Asprey, founder and CEO of Bulletproof and New York Times bestselling author of The Bulletproof Diet

Arhuna Arda, founder of Awakening Coaching and author of The Translucent Revolution

“This book teaches each of us how to help our partner become ourselves, and in doing so, makes love deeper and makes us the best spouses in the world.”