Features of the psychology of raising children up to a year. Emotional child: let's try to adjust
The process of raising children is a difficult task, the results of which are not immediately visible.
Often parents believe that a baby needs to be fed and dressed according to the weather, and education can be done later. The correct and fruitful upbringing of a child from 1 year old will be only when development and education began from the cradle.
From birth to year
Raising children from 0 months is an important element in the pedagogical system. Monthly baby well distinguishes the voices of relatives and friends. A one-year-old child has already formed habits, inclinations to one or another type of activity on a subconscious level. Personality traits appear. For example, by the end of the third month, the baby should learn to spend some time on his own in the crib, if he sleeps with a pacifier, then fall asleep without her and motion sickness.
The upbringing of children from birth begins with regular conversations with parents, singing songs, telling fairy tales. For a baby, it is important to observe the daily routine and adhere to the rules of hygiene.
The upbringing of a newborn will be fruitful if parents use music for the development of the child, regular listening to which will help the early formation of speech.
It will take quite a bit of time, and the rapidly developing baby will begin to crawl, and soon walk. Improving the motor skills of a child at 8 months leads to active movement around the house, exploring a new space for him. Eight months is the time when you need to teach your baby to hygiene procedures: washing hands before eating, changing dirty clothes, brushing gums and first teeth. The eighth month in the life of the baby provides for the implementation of simple physical exercises, massage.
Raising a child at 9 months involves familiarity with the words “no” and “no”. The further upbringing of the child per year depends on how convincing the parents will be during this period.
In the ninth month, many babies make attempts to independently move around the house. Therefore, parents must ensure their safety.
First birthday
Features of the development of a person's personality are laid in early childhood. From what will be the upbringing of children from a year, the further formation of a small person depends.
It is necessary to raise children of the first year of life, taking into account their physical characteristics.
How to raise a child at 1 year old? The basis of the development of children of this age is the game. Toys will help develop a child of 1 year of life. They contribute to the formation of logic and cognitive activity.
After a year, the baby shows signs of independence. He no longer obeys his parents unconditionally, trying to express his point of view on everything that happens in his life. If he wants to explore the world alone, without the help of adults, there is no need to interfere with him. But unobtrusive help will be very helpful.
Adults should remember that at this age the child gets tired quickly, so the game should be alternated with physical activity and make sure that the baby finishes playing before he gets bored.
At the age of one and three months, the child can be offered activities related to the development of fine motor skills, which will have the best effect on intellectual development.
Classes with the baby should be accompanied by communication with adults, which will be an excellent basis for the formation of speech development.
From the year begins an active replenishment of the vocabulary of a small person. Do not despair if at first he does not say the words out loud. The kid will definitely remember them and pronounce them a little later.
Often, at the age of one and a half, children begin to ask for a potty themselves. However, it is not uncommon for minor troubles to occur at the age of three. It is necessary to accustom to this procedure gently and unobtrusively.
At this age, parents often complain that the baby does not obey, eats poorly and does not want to fall asleep at a certain time. Don't be scolded for it. Come up with a story where your favorite cartoon character does something the kid doesn't want to do.
little explorer
Raising a child at 2 years old is about continuous communication with him, involvement in family life. However, remember that from the age of two, the desire to independently carry out various assignments increases. Don't discourage it, encourage it. At the age of 2 years, a small person will be happy to carry out small assignments: he will give dad a tool, bring the right thing to mom, and so on.
Two years is the age when the baby does not perceive categorical prohibitions. He does not obey, shouts, in every possible way showing his disagreement. The best way out of this situation is to switch the attention of the baby to something else.
A two-year-old baby already understands what is “good” and what is “bad”. However, this does not at all prevent him from responding in his own way to the comments of adults. Therefore, you should try to talk with the baby in his language, calmly and gently explaining the consequences of certain actions. 
Children 2 years old are distinguished by curiosity, they try to dress, undress and eat on their own. Such actions in a child at 2 years old should only be encouraged.
The second year of life is characterized by the rapid development of the cognitive activity of the crumbs. By this time, his vocabulary is replenished with new words, he calls himself by name, likes to play simple games.
The birth of the manipulator
The famous crisis of 3 years often takes parents by surprise. The cheerful baby turns into a constantly whimpering and always demanding little man. He does not obey, screams, stamps his feet, trying to achieve what he wants at any cost. Proper upbringing of a three-year-old baby is the key to successful relationships between the crumbs and adults in the future.
3 years is a turning point. At 3 years old, the baby begins to be interested in everything. He asks a lot of questions, he is interested in everything.
Rethinking life positions and relationships with people, trying to understand one's place in the family and society, striving for independence - this is a characteristic of the third year of life. The baby does not obey, tries in every possible way to attract attention, screams, refuses to eat.
The upbringing of a 3-year-old baby consists, first of all, in a patient explanation of the rules of behavior in specific situations. In order for him to begin to obey his parents, adults need to learn to hear him, to understand the reasons for negative behavior.
Dr. Komarovsky gives important advice to parents on raising children from 3 years old. He believes that love, patience and understanding are the ingredients that will help to overcome any special period in the life of a baby.
- The kid always needs to feel the support of his parents. In this case, in no case should you impose help on the crumbs.
- Be persistent but fair. If the decision is made to say “no”, then the baby must clearly understand that the parents will not change their decision.
- Eliminate any reaction to the tantrum.
- There is no need for parents to be hysterical. Calmly wait until the peak of expressions of emotions has passed, and switch your attention to another type of activity.
Children grow up quickly, and time erases many of the unpleasant moments of growing up crumbs. Parents should be patient and show boundless love for their baby.
It is difficult to answer unambiguously how to properly raise a child, because there is no ideal strategy for educating the future generation. All babies are unique from birth. Young princesses and little gentlemen are all different. Some crumbs are thoughtful and calm, others are funny and curious, others are naughty fidgets, and others are closed-minded silent people. Therefore, the tactics of the educational process cannot be the same. Only the mother knows the nature of the baby. And therefore, it is she who must choose the methods that are ideal for her baby. Psychologists can only outline a general strategy and recommend how it is not necessary to act in order to protect the fragile young psyche from traumatic factors.
How to raise children - psychology
In order for the baby to grow and form correctly, parents need to organize suitable conditions for this. First of all, for a comprehensive harmonious development, a child needs parental love and an indifferent attitude. When a baby feels indifference from a significant adult, fertile ground is created for the emergence of a huge number of problems. It's not just about behavioral issues. It is also real and the occurrence of health problems.
Sometimes it happens that significant adults love a child, but the baby does not feel it. Therefore, it is necessary to show love to the crumbs by any available means, hug them, talk about your own feelings, kiss them. A child should feel the unconditional nature of parental love, understand that parents will love him in spite of everything and will always help him.
Most parents are interested in how to raise a child correctly, because the future existence of their child depends on this.
First of all, your little one should be taken completely, despite the apparent shortcomings. Many parents make the almost irreparable mistake of trying to fit the baby to their own ideal of the human subject. And when they fail to do so, they feel disappointed. The child always feels parental disapproval, understands that they do not believe in him, that he could not justify parental expectations. As a result, crumbs suffer, which gives rise to many problems.
Your child, whether a three-year-old child or a teenager, needs to be supported when he needs it. Children should understand that in any difficult situation, they can always rely on their parents. It is the parents who instill a sense of security in their own children.
It is not recommended to scare children with various popular horror stories. For example, when, for educational purposes, significant adults scare a baby that if his behavior is bad, a grandmother will come and take him away, the child understands what was said literally. He thinks that some scary person will break into the house, and his parents will let the grandmother take him away. From here there is a feeling of insecurity, the authority of parents falls. The baby no longer feels safe.
You should be more interested in the life of the child, talk on various topics with him, especially those that interest the baby himself, spend more time together, doing pleasant activities for both. Joint pastime, filled with bright positive emotions, contributes to the emergence of friendly interaction between adults and kids.
You need to respect your own child, you should not dismiss the words of the crumbs, from his opinion. Phrases like: “don’t be smart”, “it’s still small to give advice” are unacceptable. It is necessary to praise the offspring even for the slightest success.
In order to teach something to a child, one childish feature must be taken into account - kids brilliantly remember everything that interests them. Therefore, there is no reason to hammer knowledge into a child, it is better to make classes interesting for him, and also that they include game moments.
Notations should not be overused. After all, they are boring and completely uninteresting to the baby. It is better to demonstrate the desired behavior by your own actions. Children always take the actions of their parents as a model.
How to properly raise a child from birth
It is better to start the educational process from the first decades of a baby's life. Active development of crumbs occurs just in the first year of their existence. At the described stage, they adapt to the environment and gain the first valuable experience. After all, in just 12 months, the baby needs to learn how to coo, smile, respond to parental voices, mood, and distinguish intonations.
Often, parents of babies pay more attention to following the daily routine and diet, proper care, rather than the educational process. It is up to the age of one year that the main habits of the offspring are laid on the subconscious tier, inclinations and personality traits are formed. Further maturation of the crumbs is mainly due to the educational process in infancy.
Conventionally, the annual stage of educational work is usually divided into 4 stages in accordance with trimesters.
The stage under consideration involves the formation of "true" habits in babies and the prevention of the emergence of harmful ones. In addition, here parents should properly organize the nutrition of the crumbs. This is very important for adequate weight gain, getting used to the regimen.
In this trimester, the crumbs should form habits such as:
- without a dummy to dive into the kingdom of Morpheus on the street;
- spend some time in bed, having fun on your own;
- hold your head
– show displeasure when changing a diaper;
- fall asleep without motion sickness.
It is also recommended to pay serious attention to the hygiene of the crumbs. The morning of the little ones should begin with a mother's friendly smile, hygiene procedures, which include washing the baby's hands and face, washing, changing the diaper. These daily activities in offspring will develop the habit of keeping themselves clean.
To develop the habit of holding the head in the crumbs, it is necessary to lay it on the tummy. Gradually, the baby will get used to the described action, the muscles of the neck and back will get stronger.
In order for the child to start humming, you should play with him more often. It is also good if the baby hears nursery rhymes and children's songs. Any action directly related to the child needs to be commented, told, for example, how to put on sliders, change a diaper. When talking with a baby, it is recommended to smile, because this is the way the culture of communicative interaction is laid.
In the next trimester, visual, sensory and auditory perception of the world develops. The stage under consideration includes the preparation of the offspring for speech. It is recommended to include musical melodies of various genres here. At the same time, it is better that they be harmonious and light: classics, children's tunes, modern motives. In order for the child to hum, to begin to babble, his attention must be directed to other sounds. He should be introduced to the surrounding reality, attracting his interest in bird chirping, the noise of pouring water, the rattling of a tractor.
The mental formation of the crumbs at the described stage should debut with a communicative interaction. Parents need to play with the child, shaping his perception. It is recommended to start practicing when you are awake, when nothing bothers the offspring and he is cheerful. Such activities should bring pleasure to the baby, so you should not play with the baby when he wants to eat or is naughty. At the stage under consideration, the laying of the moral and aesthetic foundations of education takes place, which the child receives as a result of communication with relatives.
Love and joyful emotions presented to the baby will become the starting point for forging a moral and aesthetic behavioral model. In addition to the above, daily exercises and massage should also be present in the routine. At this stage, the exercises should already be more varied, since their goal is to prepare the baby for crawling.
The stage of the third trimester is marked by the restlessness of the offspring and his curiosity. Activity in babies at the described stage increases significantly. Since the child has already learned to crawl and sit down, and some babies are trying to get up, it is time for physical training.
First of all, the baby must be given freedom of movement around the home. Therefore, it is necessary to secure the possible route of his travel as much as possible. In this trimester, babies are increasingly interested in the contents of drawers and lockers, so it is recommended to remove any items that can harm the baby.
At this stage, it is already possible to make the first attempts to accustom the child to the potty. It is necessary to put the baby on the potty after feeding, walking, sleeping. After some time, the baby will become clear for what purpose he is put on the potty. At about seven months of age, you can begin to teach your baby how to wash their hands. Thus, the concept of cleanliness is formed.
Putting on baby bibs before feeding, changing soiled clothes immediately after they get dirty, mothers instill accuracy in their children. At the same time, adults need to comment on each action and explain it.
For children, play is important, regardless of the age stage. Through it they get to know the world. At the age of seven or eight months, you can show the baby simple toys and manipulations with them, for example, show how the ball rolls, the wheels on the machine spin. Also at the described stage, you can already show individual parts of the head: nose, eyes, ears. It is necessary to deal with babies in the third trimester daily. Here you should also acquaint the offspring with the words-prohibitions: "it is impossible." For example, when a baby fights during play activities, it is necessary to say “no”, explaining the reasons (it’s unpleasant for me, it hurts).
In the fourth trimester, raising a child covers absolutely all areas of his activity. Here, the baby actively interacts with the adult environment and tries to walk independently. When the baby stands on knives on his own, he should be encouraged. First, you need to help the little one, drive him, holding two handles, then one. After a while, the baby will be able to linger, standing on his feet, for a few seconds.
The mental formation of an infant is based on instilling in him the skill of manipulating objects. A full-fledged educational process includes close communicative interaction with the offspring. You should constantly talk with the little one, but it is not recommended to copy children's speech or lisp. This can give rise to the formation of a speech defect.
How to raise a child in 1 year
The human personality, according to psychological research, is formed at an early stage of existence. Therefore, it is very important in the course of the educational process that a one-year-old baby acquire the experience necessary for the future life, which will become the foundation of the attitude to the environment and the environment.
At the stage under consideration, the game process is the prevailing type of activity. However, due to age, the baby cannot independently organize their own leisure time. Therefore, it falls on the parents' shoulders. It is necessary to show the offspring possible manipulations with toys, for example, how a doll walks, a frog jumps, a car transports. Role-playing games are also important, you can treat a sick bear together with a toddler or cook dinner for a bunny. However, the plots of the games must be primitive so that the child understands them well.
At the same time, in the process of playing leisure, it is necessary to carefully monitor the offspring. The game will reflect the children's idea of existing family relationships, the world, people. Observation will allow parents to correct negative ideas or destructive attitudes in a timely manner.
The one-year-old understands exclusively visual-figurative appeal. Therefore, in order to convey some information to the crumbs, it is necessary to model the situation based on fairy tales and taking your favorite heroes as examples.
You also need to constantly explain to the little one how to behave, what is good, what actions are bad. In addition, parents should always be a positive example, because babies always imitate the adult environment. At the stage of upbringing under consideration, parents should regularly clean up, put things in the places intended for them, show by their own actions the observance of the daily regimen, hygiene rules.
How to raise a child at 2 years old
In the period under review, the educational process should be different in relation to boys and young ladies.
The upbringing of a boy should include, first of all, the expression of love in various forms: hugs, kisses, conversations, joint games. It is forbidden to beat the baby and offend, as he may grow up insecure, aggressive, angry or distrustful. The boy must be brought up within strict boundaries, without excessive lisping, but also without imperious habits.
You should not limit the physical capabilities of the boy and his activity. This is normal if the baby often walks with broken knees, because the future defender of the family and the Fatherland is growing.
When addressing a baby, it is better to use his name, or call him “son”, and it is better not to use such diminutive forms as “honey”, “bunny”. The kid should be aware from an early age that he is growing up as a man and in the future will become the breadwinner and protector of the family.
The upbringing of young ladies must be directed towards the development of creative potential. Girls in comparison with their "antipodes" are more balanced, assiduous, calm. Monotonous manipulations are easier for them. They have developed imagination and a sense of beauty.
It is necessary to encourage the desire of daughters to show their own feelings, to compliment the young princesses, to give her praises, tenderness. Girls should grow up confident, self-sufficient, able to recognize false feelings.
Kids should be given the opportunity to choose their own game. From childhood, little ladies need to be explained that they can achieve a lot in life. You can show them photos of successful ladies - doctors, politicians, actresses, explaining to them along the way that when they grow up, they can become just as successful and respected aunts.
How to raise a child at 3 years old
The three-year-old is a rather serious test of strength for parents. After all, the baby has already noticeably grown up, began to talk. The kid already has an active position in expressing his own aspirations. At a certain point, the behavioral response of the crumbs and his actions began to change dramatically. The previously obedient toddler turns into an obnoxious "bandit". This is how the three-year crisis manifests itself.
The most important thing here is the stock of patience on the part of significant adults. Any situation of disobedience of the offspring that has arisen should be assessed extremely soberly. It is necessary to understand the feelings of babies and skillfully use children's whims against them. For example, when a toddler refuses to fold toys, but rather scatters them, then you should ask the child never to collect them.
In the described period, various requirements, prohibitions are ineffective. It is better to try to switch the attention of the child to actions that are more exciting for him.
It is not recommended to react excessively violently to hysterical seizures. However, indulging all sorts of children's whims is also not necessary. The three-year-old checks the boundaries of what is permitted. How much can his parents afford. If at the slightest give the little one what he wants, then he will have a habit of starting to hysteria for the slightest reason. It is necessary to try to distract the offspring from the provoking factor, to another interesting thing.
The educational process at 3 years should be based on consistency. If the mother forbade the baby to do something, then the father should not allow him to do it. This rule should be especially clearly conveyed to compassionate grandmothers and kind grandfathers.
And most importantly, to educate the little ones should be in love. It is necessary to take care of the offspring, train them, show the desired behavior with your own positive example.
How to raise a choleric child
A choleric baby is by nature tireless. Nature endowed such a crumb with a powerful energy potential. From an early age, the baby shows his unbearable temperament, and relatives say in bewilderment: “well, and character!” The task of the adult environment in a particular case is to help the baby grow moderately flexible, restrained and compromise.
The little owner of this temperament is endlessly in movements, which are characterized by impetuosity, sharpness, as if someone is chasing him. Such a baby cannot stand long expectations, and therefore is not able to sit idle in one place for a long time. The child's conversation is emotional, the words sound abrupt and fast. He does not speak, but chatters, swallowing words and syllables. Sometimes he gets so carried away with monologues that he is unable to hear anyone.
Often loses control over himself, starting to shout loudly and argue. It is not easy to raise a choleric child of 3-4 years old. This kid loves adventure and risk. At the same time, the baby's susceptibility to sudden mood changes plunges the close environment into bewilderment.
The kid can easily change his mind at the last minute. You never know what to expect from him. He can behave outside the box in any situation. The kid himself often does not understand what is happening to him due to his impulsiveness. A child with a choleric temperament makes decisions instantly, his ideas are spontaneous, but often interesting. Everything new kid quickly captivates, but it is also easy for him to forget about it in a short time. During training, he shows abilities if the child is interested at the moment.
A little choleric falls asleep with difficulty and for a very long time. Sleep is restless, depending on the impressions of the day.
The choleric person has a lot of positive qualities: fearlessness, riskiness, courage, determination, self-confidence, perseverance. At the same time, a tendency to stubbornness, restlessness, cockiness, conflict, impatience, playfulness, which gives parents certain difficulties in raising a choleric child.
Given that choleric children are emotionally unstable, their parents need to master the ability to control their own emotions. Before you speak to a child in a fit or annoyance, you need to stop, take a few deep breaths or count to ten and just think about whether notations and screams aimed at the baby will help in your situation.
An energetic choleric child must be involved in doing useful things, for example, at home. The kid must see the ultimate goal and the result of his work. Teach your child to say the steps of the work out loud, then silently, and steadily stick to his plan.
For choleric people, it is very important to engage in outdoor sports. This will allow you to release your energy, and training will teach you how to calculate your strength. Such a baby simply needs living space, so you should go for walks with him as often as possible.
Designing, needlework, drawing, manual labor can help develop attention and perseverance. It is important for parents not to show on the crumbs if he is distracted, and each time to encourage the manifestation of patience and diligence. It is important to teach the baby to pre-think about their decisions, assessing the reserves of their forces, and only then proceed to action. Politeness should be taught in any situation, since the immediacy of a choleric often offends people's pride.
It is especially necessary to pay attention to the ability to build relationships in the children's team, since parents will not be able to be around all the time. The choleric person has a problem with imposing leadership on other children. The second problem of a choleric baby is the desire for diversity, so constant friends do not linger nearby. In this case, it is required to encourage the baby to analyze his behavior, deal with conflict situations with him, discuss films and books. It is necessary to teach the baby to control his emotions, taking into account the interests of other people.
Humor will help in the fight against the bad mood of a choleric child. Show your baby a way to release accumulated emotions: you can beat a toy, throw and hit a pillow. It will be better than taking out your anger on parents and children in kindergarten. Self-control can also help breathing exercises. With an increase in the emotional stress of the baby, you can use distracting techniques, for example, to interest in something else and switch to this activity. Sometimes just hugging and comforting is enough. Adults need to observe the behavioral manifestations of their crumbs as much as possible and act even before he gets angry or bursts into tears. It is strictly forbidden to tease a little choleric.
The world of emotions of a small person is open to us, we can observe all the movements of his soul. A small child is in a constant stream of new experiences, everything surprises him, amazes him, and his emotional life is unusually rich. He moves from one to another without trying to understand what is happening to him, and acts solely under the influence of emotions. The whole world is new to him, brand new, and he is open to stunning diversity and vivid impressions.
But the emotional palette of a 1-2 year old child is limited: if he is dissatisfied or tired, he starts screaming and crying. If he is satisfied, he likes the game - he laughs loudly. The kid is completely absorbed in the present moment and immediately reacts to what is happening. Sometimes emotions "jump" one on top of the other, creating mental chaos, often turning into noise and screams. By calming, comforting, or distracting your child, you not only help him cope with a storm of feelings, but also participate in the process, during which the child gradually learns to control his emotions. By moving from laughter to tears, the child encourages parents to respond, set limits, and of course, explain what is happening to him. We are often upset because our adorable, smiling baby a minute ago is now screaming and stamping his feet.
Tip 1
In those moments when you are upset or angry, do something for yourself that will give you pleasure and help you calm down. Try to anticipate possible troubles that can upset you and cause anger.
For example, you should not let your child play with things that you value. Try to learn to recognize the harbingers of your own emotional breakdown and find the right tool for you to deal with it.
In another projection
A typical mistake adults make in this situation is that they project their own feelings onto the child. Don't try to put yourself in his place. At his age, discontent and tears in most cases do not mean pain and suffering. This is just a way for the baby to express annoyance, disappointment or anger, because he still cannot explain all this in words. Up to 1.5-2 years, it is quite easy to cope with such emotional storms, you just need to distract him and switch his attention to something else. True, you should not immediately rush to entertain the baby at the slightest sign of discontent. Thus, you let him know that his "bad" feelings have no right to exist. The child may feel that you are confused by manifestations of anger or resentment, and, accordingly, they cannot be expressed freely, but must be hidden and even suppressed. Emotionally reacting to any situation, a small child is counting on your response. Only your attitude, behavior, words will help him navigate what is happening to him. You set boundaries for him, within which he can freely express his emotions without fear of their destructive power. As your baby matures, the limits you set, which he sometimes resisted, will become part of his beliefs and serve as the basis for building boundaries for his personality. There is no reason to think that the child will learn to control himself on his own, just as it is a mistake to try at all costs to follow the crumbs, to follow his emotional impulses.
If you:
Be under the influence of stress and you can easily be thrown off balance.
Try to postpone joint games with your child for a while. In moments of irritation, do not take him in your arms: children are easily "infected" by the emotional state of their parents.
Upset.
It is better to tell the child about it. "I'm very upset right now, please play by yourself. I need to calm down." Children tend to take a lot of things personally, it is important for a child to hear that you are not angry because of him. In order for the baby to learn to better understand you, and therefore himself, it is important to speak directly to him about your feelings, desires and needs.
Storm of emotions
Up to one and a half to two years, a child needs very few words in order to be understood. He babbles or points to a desired object. If the mother does not understand him or does not consider it possible to provide him with what he wants, he begins to sob, stomp his feet, and express aggression. Some children, not having achieved the desired, are able to quickly switch to something else. Others find themselves so caught up in their emotions that they can't stop and calm down. This is not an easy test for parents who themselves find themselves in the grip of conflicting feelings. Anger at the raging child is mixed with pity for the little "sufferer". And you are torn between the desire to give in to him and firmly stand your ground.
New Horizons
At the age of 1.5-2 years, the child's behavior changes markedly. He enters a period when he wants to show independence. This is the period when the baby can suddenly snatch the handle from your hand on the street and, with an independent look, run forward. He becomes capricious and demanding and violently protests against prohibitions and restrictions. And at the same time, as if frightened by his own courage, he shows his dependence on you more strongly. He needs more than ever to be sure that you love him. Now you need not only to respond in one way or another to the emotional manifestations of the child, but also to explain to him the rules of behavior in society: "You cannot climb the table with your feet" ... You must set the necessary restrictions and explain their reasons: "I see that you I don't like it, but I can't let you put your hands in a bowl of porridge. It's very ugly and you'll get dirty."
Parents should not change their rules depending on the mood of the child, even if he makes a scene for them in public, otherwise the ultimatums will be repeated again and again. Many parents think that their child suffers when he demands something with tears. Some capitulate, tired of, others are afraid that the child will stop loving them ... And yet you should not be in a situation where the child, with your consent, manipulates you. It is necessary to make him feel the boundaries that he should not cross.
Tip 2
Rules once established should not be changed under any circumstances. They must be observed by all family members: only then will the baby understand that it is useless to manipulate you.
Only calmness
Don't expect parenting strategies to work right away. It takes a certain amount of time for changes to occur in the emotional sphere of the child. But the moment will come when his spiritual life will become more orderly and harmonious.
In this "transitional" age, "little tragedies" occur literally every day. Often parents do not know how to respond to emotional outbursts, or are not sure that they are doing the right thing. Many adults prefer to ignore the raging children, believing that attention will only worsen the situation. Of course, it is not easy to endure a tantrum, but you should not leave a child alone at a time when he cannot cope with himself, with his own feelings. Ignoring not the most The best way to express dissatisfaction with the behavior of the child, in addition, children adopt parental methods well. Many parents are probably familiar with the situation when a child "does not hear" parental requests and appeals, expressing his dissatisfaction in just such a way known to him. If the baby is not yet "wound up" in earnest, you can try to distract him by offering him some exciting activity that will help him immediately forget what upset him. If it is no longer possible to switch his attention, try to take him in your arms and hold him tightly to you until he calms down. Or just be there, letting him know you're available. When he calms down, briefly and simply explain to him what, in your opinion, this reaction is connected with. You can express dissatisfaction with his behavior, but be sure to show him that you understand what is happening to him.
It is also important how much parents know how to control themselves, manage their own anger. It largely depends on whether the child learns to express his feelings adequately to the situation. If you tend to respond to the violent behavior of your child with an angry outburst, then it is likely that the child will learn this form of behavior and will continue to apply it outside the family, in communication with children and adults.
Discussion
I don't know what to do with my anger, help? it happens to my child 1.4 that the child starts to hysteria and I can’t calm him down, he gets out of his hands and doesn’t let him take it wildly yells, sometimes even beats his head against the wall, floor, curbstone. When I can’t calm him down, I start to lose my temper, start yelling and I can spank the child, then he starts to get even more hysterical and then I start to get hysterical. When he calms down and I realize the situation, I begin to feel wild remorse because I did wrong with the child, yelled and hit me that I was a bad mother and I really want to be the best mother in the world. Every time I promise myself that this will not happen, that I will keep myself in my hands, but I break down and then I really regret it. Please help, I really want to make a difference!
children's tantrums are mainly due to the fact that the mother somewhere made mistakes in raising and caring for her baby. Here we must understand that the full-fledged emotional intelligence of the child is formed already in the first year of the life of a little man. Therefore, it is important to self-educate, I constantly read articles about how a child develops up to a year in a child and how to correctly form children's emotional reactions.
behind a lot of words, two really useful tips: 1. a rule once established must be respected by everyone and always
2. The response to the child's negative emotions should not be aggression or ignorance.
So why so many words?
Xoroshaya statya, ochen pouchitelnaya!
04/22/2007 01:42:25 AM, Ellawhat to do? a 2-year-old child is angry and beats his mother
04/08/2007 04:24:29 PM, indri07inconsistent article. either about children's tantrums, or immediately, without transition, about mother's stresses. but in places there are practical thoughts and useful tricks
Comment on the article "Emotional child: let's try to set it up"
A child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years old: hardening and development, nutrition and illness, daily routine and development of everyday life anything...
Discussion
Below, English medicine popped up, I'll tell you in more detail. The main difference, it seems to me, is "the presumption of health and normal development." Russian doctors are always looking for defects. Yes, English doctors are sometimes scolded for indifference, but they see serious problems right away. Yes, if you come to tear your hair out in a year that the child does not walk, you will be reassured and sent home. When I came to the doctor with reasonable suspicions of problems, the child was carefully examined by the therapist and sent to the hospital for examination if he also had suspicions.
But let's not talk about medicine, because the issue of child development often does not reach medicine! There are so-called health visitors here, who are like paramedics by education, and for children. They take us once a week, you don’t need to sign up, there are several people at once, you weigh the baby, you can discuss anything you like: the color of poop, feeding, and so on. All your fears and worries. There is also a lactation consultant. They take a child up to 5 years. If they suspect a medical problem, they will send you to a doctor.
Sorry for a lot of letters, the most interesting for you. They sent us a questionnaire and invited us to a conversation about development, my daughter was 2 years old. You put the checkboxes, for example, there are such points: connects words into sentences, climbs up the stairs, with two legs on the step. That is, they take your word for it, they don’t stick to the child , and discuss those points where there is no
daws.
And my eldest didn’t have any pyramids or cups at all, I just now, after reading your message, remembered this .. Probably, I need a commission :)))
Child-parent relationship. Child psychology. I have two pairs of children with a short interval of a year and a month and a year and eight, with a big difference between the pairs, 14 years old, so why am I vulnerable with increased anxiety, this is about everyone ...
Discussion
I have two pairs of children with a short interval of a year and a month and a year and eight, with a big difference between the pairs, 14 years old, and so I am vulnerable with increased anxiety, this is about each of the eldest of the couples. Didn't force me to eat. And there are explosions, with children with a small age difference, it’s not easy!
It seems to me that you have already done half the battle - you have realized your mistakes, and you love the child - that's +. And about long disputes - it’s also good, I would consider them a dialogue on the way to each other. Good luck in your hard work!
Child developmental psychology: child behavior, fears, whims, tantrums. The child repeats unpleasant actions .. Whims, tantrums. Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years old: hardening and development, nutrition and illness, daily routine and development of household ...
The child is 2 years old - he ALWAYS holds his hands in his mouth. I read somewhere that children simply don’t remember before the age of 7, they naturally have Whims in one ear. A child from birth to one year. Care and upbringing of a child up to a year: nutrition, illness, development. Girls, it's my second day with Pashka...
Go to child psychology. Whims, tantrums. Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years: hardening and development, nutrition and illness The site has thematic conferences, blogs, ratings of kindergartens and schools, articles are published daily and ...
Neuropsychologist?. The development of the child's brain. Child psychology. Institute of Correctional Pedagogy on Frunzenskaya 05.02.2009 10:00:23, zetinson. Child from birth to one year Child from 1 to 3 Child from 7 to 10 Adolescents Adult children (children over 18) Child psychology.
Discussion
We visited a neuropsychologist in some center on Novokuznetskaya. Only at first to the neuropathologist it is necessary to descend or go. We also have a difficult child. Whims, a constant change of mood, unwillingness to do anything (read, draw, sculpt, build), in addition, not very clear speech and classes with a speech therapist again (the speech therapist has a special approach to our Pasha - (4 years)). So, the neuropathologist told us, after listening to me first and examining my child, that the psychologist is not needed for him, but for me, and all the problems are from the inconsistency of the actions of the parents in raising the child. And the general summary was - there is nothing to take a healthy child to the doctors. Then we went to a neuropsychologist. She gave a bunch of tests for memory, logic, etc. Pasha did everything. Half of the tasks were new, which he had never done before, but learned nothing.
I complained about poor memory, learning disability, not remembering poetry, and so on. The neuropsychologist said that mental development is the norm, there are no lags, and speech development lags behind, but I myself knew that.
In addition, the neuropsychologist said that we have excessive demands on the child and he understands this, advised him to leave him alone, not to demand from him what is beyond his capabilities.
Yes, about poetry. At home, he does not learn anything at all and stops attempts that someone would tell him something in verse. And in the fall, he gave us the entire program of the children's matinee in verse. No one taught him anything specifically.
Neuropsychologist - in three years?
As a rule, this specialist is contacted after five years.
Before that, the conclusion of a neurologist is sufficient.
Write to the participant under the nickname "Mashenka L."
Works at the Institute of Correctional Pedagogy. Her address can be found by searching.
If it's not a secret, what did the psychologist pay special attention to?
Child developmental psychology: child behavior, fears, whims, tantrums. Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years: hardening and development Section: Children's fears (children's fears in children under 2 years old). And it is formed in many respects in early childhood.
Discussion
Do not worry, apparently, age. :) At us, as 2 years knocked, suddenly, fears also began sharply. And here, in the conference, someone conducted a survey in the summer, in my opinion, in the conference from one to three years. Many said that it was at the age of two that children began to be afraid of the dark and something else ...
Many of my friends also have the same parsley. I explained to myself that at the age of two, children have a sharp jump in development, especially associated with the rapid development of speech, that is, suddenly the child begins to think not only specifically - what I see, I sing about, but also more abstractly, and cannot at first, hold on to your imagination.
It seems to me that it is very important to show that you understand the child, but with all your appearance to show that you are with her, that together you will overcome what she is afraid of. We had such a fear - a shark in the bathroom. Directly jumped out suddenly abruptly from the bathroom (daughter) with cries of "shark!" . Although I haven’t seen any horror stories, I’ve never been scared by anything, I love water, in general, I couldn’t understand at all where the “legs” of this fear came from. She sinned on "Leopold the Cat", even the cartoon where the shark was, stopped showing her. And the shark was "chased away" together - either the cat was called and "fed" to it, or I myself drove it away. The shark still lives in our bathroom, especially when Anya needs a reason to finish bathing;), but she is no longer afraid of her. And sharks in and in the cartoon and in the dock. films looks calmly. Other fears - darkness - not that fear, she can already sleep in a dark room, but she is used to a night light in the room. Thunder often remembers a thunderstorm, then he says that he is afraid, then vice versa. In general, I want to tell you that fear is natural, and if you do not attach increased importance, then they will be reduced to the minimum necessary for life.
In the autumn we flew in Austria in a small three-seater airplane. Anna really wanted to. They sat down, took off, :)) Anya turned to me and said "Straaaashno" so importantly. And then she sat quietly. She really liked it, she still remembers how she flew with her dad, mom and pilot. He loves airplanes. :))
My parents raised two children in the axiom that even siblings are not required to LOVE each other. Love is not a feeling that is brought up. It either exists or it doesn't. And if you don’t oblige brothers-sisters to love each other, don’t hope for it and don’t think about this very love, then everything becomes much simpler, the relationship is more open, and as a result, a favorable atmosphere is created for this very love, if it wants to appear.
This is exactly what happened to my brother and me. My brother is 6 years younger, I helped a little with care, sometimes I sat with him (a frivolous dad left me with a month-old baby, and he went to work at night, or worse, to play basketball, my mother was in the hospital). But these were isolated cases, on average, my parents did not expect me to help with the child. During conflicts, divisions, insults, they took it for granted that I can’t stand him (he) and why they gave birth to him at all. But they insisted that parents give birth to children so that there is a family that parents want, and therefore they do not insist on "love", but insist on civilized relations. "I want you to get along with each other and sort things out verbally between yourselves" was just my mom's mantra. She, poor thing, often had to repeat it.
As a result, despite the difference in gender and age, my brother and I developed close, family relationships, and he is the closest to me in the family. But our parents honestly admit that they did not count on it, they consider it as "lucky".
Child developmental psychology: child behavior, fears, whims, tantrums. Child development: when emotions go wild. Your child is 2 years old and his behavior confuses you? Letting your son know that he still has a father is so important, especially for a son!
Discussion
As far as I understood from your messages, the "biological dad" behaves fundamentally wrong, if it is impossible to agree with him on changing the behavior, you need to figure out how to avoid a negative impact on the girl. IMHO she is very restless with two dads, as can be seen from her questions.
We also have two dads, although the biological one appears very rarely and behaves - just exemplary. Apparently, such a person.
Small, on the contrary, is proud that everyone has one dad, and he has two. He rarely sees him, but, for example, he often draws drawings for two dads, remembers - even surprisingly. I can count on my fingers how many times they saw each other in the vague 5 years of his life.
Yes, a long time ago, when we were still living together, I read somewhere that you often need to tell the baby about your love, and that many people love him - friends, relatives, we even had such a ritual of going to bed - they listed all those who loved and loved ones. It somehow asserts confidence in its world.
In general, regulate the situation yourself - you know that the girl is better. This is important, not the ambitions of adults to satisfy.
I'll tell you about myself. When our own dad tried to somehow declare his “main” rights, we somehow broke him off, saying that the child lives here, which means that the main ones are those who see him every day, who do homework with him until 2 am who solves problems with him, who helps to solve communication problems, who goes to parent-teacher meetings and to the clinic, who treats and serves. In a word - LIVES WITH HIM. The son (albeit older, he is 12) also somehow quickly called his second husband dad, and now he calls his own father by his last name. I only recently realized how important it is for a child to constantly remind that we love him, that we will not give him anywhere and to anyone without his desire. in the end, the concept of FAMILY extends to the three of you - dad, mom, daughter, and that "dad" who does not live with you and did not want to see the child for a long time - maybe he is "dad", but not in your family . After all, he may have another family ... The father, in this situation, in my opinion, can be just a friend for the girl, but is it possible to decide which friend is more important?
Raising a child for 1 year is a responsible matter, it requires close attention to the activities carried out for this. The foundation of character is laid precisely in the first years of life, and the traits acquired in childhood are fixed for a long time.
Raising a one-year-old child lays in him the main character traits. Therefore, so that your child is not greedy, angry and lazy, instill in him kindness, sociability, diligence and accuracy. A child should be able to share with peers and adults, and if you teach him to respect toys, he will appreciate human labor.
Raising children from one to two years requires painstaking constant work and care. You must persistently and systematically repeat educational processes and situations, carefully controlling everything.
There is, as it were, a balance of positive and negative qualities. And if good traits are brought up to a lesser extent, then bad ones appear. Due to the lack of education, the dark side of the character is shown, which expresses greed and harmfulness, selfishness and indifference.
How to raise a child after a year? - Just watch your actions and behavior. If you want to bring up better or the best in a child, then you should step over yourself. Do you think the child will be non-conflict if you constantly quarrel with your spouse and others?
Physical education child 1 year old– is also an important point. The kid is only, so he can’t do exercises on his own. You woke up, visited the toilet, now you can start walking normally. Hold the baby by the hand, and then, releasing, take a few steps back. Beckon him to you, repeating the procedure several times, and increase the distance every day.
There are a lot of exercises, you can come up with them yourself, or you can find them on the net. You can give you another developmental exercise after warming up - crawling with obstacles. Such an activity requires blocking the path in front of the baby on the way to the toy. Benches, cubes, boxes about 10 cm high will help you. You need to complicate obstacles when they are easily overcome.
Finish your morning routine with a warm shower or a simple pat with a warm, soft towel. Do this every day, and your crumbs will always have a cheerful mood with a good appetite.
From the age of 12 months, psychological differences begin in the development of boys and girls. How to raise a 1 year old boy? It's just that the upbringing should be completely different from the girl's. Development from a boy to a husband occurs in three stages, in our case (the first stage) the infant has developed a connection with the mother as never before. You must give the boy great love, he must feel completely safe.
Boys perceive their mother's touches less, they play more actively, grow faster, and also experience separation from their parent more painfully. Up to three years, you need to constantly be with the kid next to you so as not to develop aggressiveness and neurosis. That's what research has shown.
At this age, children cry, more exploiting their mother's love. The father is also involved. How to raise a child for 1 year as a father? He must daily provide attention to the baby, so that he feels paternal closeness and direct participation in his studies.
No matter how busy dad is, he must make time for the family, of course, if he loves her. Working on holidays is one thing, but a joint evening walk is a necessary thing.
Raising a child at the age of one and a half requires more attention to the baby, because he wants his mother to react to his actions. Now the tiny brain works like a computer, so don't be afraid to overload it. Most importantly, do not dismiss the questions of the baby. Answer him in an accessible way, react to his actions and successes, praise him.
More and more carefully you need to approach the issue of safety: the baby still does not have a fear of heights, to sharp and hot objects. If the baby crashes from the chair, it will be more vigilant in the future. But there are things much more dangerous!
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In order for a man to grow out of a son, a good father, a worthy member of society, it is important to know how to raise a boy. Representatives of the stronger sex, capable of deeds and confessions, self-confident, courageous and courageous, grow up from little boys whose mom and dad found the right pedagogical approach. There are many subtleties and nuances that you need to know in order to grow a good person, a comprehensively developed personality, a real man.
Raising boys
In ancient Russia, it was believed that women should not raise sons. This is a man's job. For noble children, tutors were hired, and kids from the lower classes rotated in a male environment due to early initiation to work. Since the 20th century, boys are less and less brought up under male attention, the care of children is shifted to women's shoulders. The lack of male influence affects the behavior of an adult son. Men become lack of initiative, cannot fight back the offender, do not want to overcome difficulties.
The psychology of raising boys
Courageous, strong and courageous men are not born immediately with such a set of human qualities. The character of the representatives of the stronger sex comes from childhood. The correct actions of parents, based on the characteristics of the psychology of boys, are the key to success, the answer is how to properly raise sons. Boys and girls need a different approach, because their psychology is different. In order for a son to become a worthy member of modern society, it is important to build respectful, trusting relationships with him.
Rules of upbringing
Each family may have different methods of education, but if the task of parents is to form a strong, responsible personality, then it is worth raising a son, following the following few rules:
- The kid should have self-respect, and not just follow the orders of the parents.
- Even a preschooler, not to mention a teenager, must clearly understand that everything that has been started must be brought to the end.
- Let the boys play sports. This is necessary not only for physical fitness, but also for the emergence of self-discipline.
- It is important for a child to cultivate resilience in case of defeat, while difficulties must be overcome by any means.
- Boys need to be taught a sense of responsibility, mercy.
Male upbringing
The role of the father in the task of raising boys is difficult to overestimate. If up to 4-5 years, the mother is more important for the crumbs, then after that she reaches out to her father. It is only through communication with his father (or other men) that the boy learns masculine behavior. Children copy the behavior of dads, because his moral principles, habits and manners are the embodiment of the standard of masculinity, an example to follow. The authority of the father, the attitude towards the mother determine how much the boy will love, respect his future family, wife.
How to raise a boy to be a real man
Male character is formed due to different actions of parents. Some focus on studies and books, others consider sports to be an important stage in the formation of a personality, for others it is important to raise a child who loves work. Whatever path you choose, the main thing is to show the baby a positive example. Only your diligence, love for sports, responsibility will be able to show, bring up the same qualities in a child.
sex education
No less than the psychological aspects of education, the physiological aspects are important for the boy. From birth, monitor the formation of the genitourinary system, if problems are found, contact a specialist. The cause may be weak or excessive development of the genital organs, narrowing or inflammation of the foreskin, and other disorders. Hygiene habits are formed in childhood. For boys, uncleanliness can cause inflammation, pain, and swelling. Parents are obliged to form, cultivate good habits in a timely manner.
In addition to hygiene, sex education also affects other aspects. The task of the mother and father is to help the son understand his belonging to the male sex, to teach him to behave adequately in relations with the opposite sex. Children should get information about their sex life from their parents, not from peers or via the Internet. At 7-11 years old, boys should already be aware of reproductive function and childbearing, the upcoming puberty and the changes that await them. After the age of 12, teenagers need to know:
- about the existence of different forms of sexuality;
- about sexually transmitted diseases;
- about sexual violence;
- about safe sex.
How to raise a boy to be brave
If a boy is afraid of everything from childhood, it is highly likely that these fears will only increase with age. Parents should make a lot of efforts to develop the courage of the future man. To help moms and dads who want to see their baby fearless, a few recommendations:
- For confidence, education of masculinity and courage, the child needs harmony in the family. When mom and dad cannot come to a consensus, the child is at a loss and confusion.
- You can not praise and set an example for other children. Such a comparison can lead to uncertainty.
- Guardianship, worries about the son should be manifested in moderation.
- To develop courage, you need sports.
- You can't call a kid a coward. You need to teach your baby to deal with their fears, for example, with the help of a sense of humor.
How to raise a good son
Parents want to raise their son responsible, initiative, strong, but at the same time loving, caring and attentive. These natural desires of mom and dad are difficult to realize, but there are a few parenting rules that will help with this:
- support manifestations of independence, activity and other traits of a male character;
- be an example for your son always and in everything;
- teach your son to work from an early age;
- treat it reasonably.
How to raise a boy
When deciding how to raise a boy, it is important to take into account the characteristics of the child's age. You need to start from birth, and as the baby grows older, you will have to make more and more efforts. With the right approach, your work will be rewarded with good results. At certain stages, the role of mother or father becomes more significant, but both parents must equally make efforts for education.
Raising a boy from birth
In raising a child under 3 years of age, gender does not matter. A child at this age spends most of his time with his mother, the connection with which is very strong. The Pope plays a secondary role during this period. Parents should behave in such a way that the baby feels safe. The kid, surrounded by love and care of his mother, grows up confident in himself and his abilities. Until the age of 3, experts recommend not attending kindergarten. Children who feel abandoned often show aggression and anxiety. To raise self-esteem, it is important to hug the child more often and punish less often.
At 3-4 years old
After 3 years, children begin to distinguish people by gender. The upbringing of a son at this stage should take place with an emphasis on his masculine qualities - strength, dexterity, courage. Boys need to make more efforts to develop speech. To improve communication skills, parents should talk and play more with the baby. For the comprehensive development of the crumbs, do not limit it when choosing games and toys. If a boy wants to play with dolls, then this will not affect his social role in any way.
At 5-7 years old
At this age, the upbringing of boys differs little from the previous period. Surround the child with affection and care, give him confidence, awareness of his own strengths. Let your baby feel safe. Remind him of important masculine qualities, let him show tenderness and his own emotions. By the end of this period, the boys move away from their mother a little and begin to get closer to their father.
At 8-10 years old
In order to properly raise a son, at the stage of 8 to 10 years, it is important for the father to actively participate in the life of his son. It is important to form a trusting relationship that will clearly manifest itself in adolescence and older. Dad should not be too strict, as the child can withdraw into himself, start to be afraid of his father. Boys are interested in men's affairs, activities and actions of the pope. Even in this period, the son may begin to defend his opinion or territory by force. Avoid expressing negative emotions. Explain that there are other ways to achieve what you want.
teenager
Raising a son who has entered adolescence means instilling in him responsibility, teaching him to see the consequences of his actions, to correlate desires with reality. These are the main goals that parents of a teenager should set for themselves. The role of the father is still high, but an adult child needs to communicate with school friends and peers. You can also get masculine energy, get acquainted with the peculiarities of behavior when communicating with older men who are close to the family of a teenager.
How to raise a hyperactive boy
When it is difficult for a child to sit in one place, he is constantly distracted, acts quickly and impulsively, and there is a high probability of hyperactivity. Seek advice from a child psychologist, engage in independent study of the issue in order to properly educate such a special child. When raising a son with hyperactivity, pay attention to the organization of the daily routine, find him a hobby to his liking, support and praise your child. It is important to show tenderness, affection and care for sons with such a problem.
How to raise a boy without a father
Incomplete families are a frequent occurrence in modern society. Mom should not feel guilty about the circumstances. To raise a boy as a real man without a father, try to compensate for the absence of a second parent in life with the attention of close relatives - an uncle or grandfather. The time spent in a male society will allow the child to realize self-identification, will contribute to personal development, strengthen faith in himself and his own abilities.
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