How to grow a leader out of a child psychologist's advice. Secrets of education, or how to grow a leader. The main thing is experience

20.09.2019

Every parent wants his child to study well, be smart, well-mannered, polite and achieve a lot in life. Many are simply perplexed when their child does not become what they wanted. There is nothing surprising in this. The parent must understand that the future of the child, of course, depends on many factors, but the founder of his character, behavior, aspirations and hobbies is still a parent.

Let's figure it out today how to raise a child to be a leader what needs to be done and what to learn?

Signs of a child leader

A person will not become successful if he does not have leadership inclinations, if he cannot lead others. At the same time, some parents believe that if their child has these inclinations, then nothing else needs to be done.

In fact, a child can simply outgrow this period and forget about it. For this reason, parents should help develop, and, if available, support and direct these inclinations in the right direction so that in the future the child can use them independently and lead in life, expanding his capabilities step by step.

Parents quite often try to indulge their child in everything, agree with him almost always in order to make him a leader. Such behavior with one hundred percent certainty can be called wrong.

Such permissiveness is not true leadership; in the end, the child becomes dependent and uncontrollable. Let's look at how to recognize leadership signs in a child:

The leader will not achieve his goals with tantrums and attempts to tell everyone. At an early age, a leader child will easily interest the surrounding children, come up with some interesting game for everyone, as expected, explain the rules to everyone.
Such children do not avoid conflict situations and are always responsible for their actions. They do not try to stand out among others in some unusual way, in fact, such children are visible to the naked eye, they, without even realizing it, stand out from the crowd.
Parents should also understand that a true leader must dominate everything and everywhere. Do not confuse the concept of a real leader with the personality traits of a child. If your kid behaves like a commander at home, and in society, including in kindergarten, he prefers to remain quiet, this is just his ingenuity, and he understands that he can only command at home.

Typically, leadership signs in a child appear from early childhood, and they can be noticed by the age of three. Children-leaders know how and love to plan for the future, calculating several options for the outcome of events at once.
The baby leader will not wait until the parents give him something to play with or offer to do something. He does not need this, because he copes with this matter on his own without any problems, inventing a variety of activities and games for himself.
If a child has such a trait as cunning, this is not bad, but the child leader will be able to resolve the conflict through peaceful negotiations and will do everything possible to ensure that all parties to the dispute or conflict are satisfied. This is a sign of a future diplomat and a true leader.
Children with leadership abilities are inquisitive people and like to observe everything, analyze and choose the information they need.
The child leader is confident in his decisions, does not question them, and thereby convinces others that his opinion was completely correct and should be listened to.

Not all children have leadership qualities from early childhood, and parents should not languish in anticipation of when they nevertheless manifest themselves, because this may not come. Therefore, parents should independently instill and develop leadership qualities in the child.

Here I would immediately like to note that the leader is not a tyrant who goes over the heads, no matter what, to achieve his goal, he is a person who can achieve everything in life himself, and in human ways, without violence and aggression.

Kindergarten leader child

Many mothers and fathers do not attach much importance to the behavior of the child at an early age, believing that the child should form itself. Such indifference of parents can eventually lead to the early formation in children of not those character traits that parents would like to see in them. Therefore, without correcting the elders, most often, the normal formation of personality, and even more so, leadership qualities, is simply impossible.

Kindergarten is the first "instance" where the child can express himself in society, and parents should pay special attention to this.

It is important to ask educators how the child behaves in society with other children, what features adults have noticed in them. You should not miss these details, because a child at home can be one, but in a kindergarten it is completely different.

If you do not control the development of the child's personality, then the leadership qualities that were obvious in kindergarten can eventually turn into tyranny. It must be understood that many adults, having felt the power, cannot control themselves, that then we can talk about children 3-5 years old.

If qualified teachers work in a kindergarten, they can easily identify the leader and help him carry this “burden” correctly. Despite the fact that children are engaged and developed in the kindergarten, parents should not step aside from raising children, because as soon as they can bring up the character of a leader in a child and teach them to be one.

Children are leaders in the classroom

Leadership is something for which everyone, all over the world, competes. Everyone wants to be the first, and it doesn’t matter if you are an adult or a child. There are individuals who deny everything and everything, indifferent to everything, but even they in their hearts would like to be in the place of a leader.

School is the place where leadership qualities are already clearly manifested. Despite the fact that teachers in educational institutions should be psychologists and understand people, it happens that even they mistakenly choose a leader (there can be many reasons for this behavior, including personal sympathy).

Parents should not think that if their child is appointed as a class commander, he will be a leader in life. Very often, some are appointed commanders, and other children, the so-called unspoken leaders of the class, “manage” classmates.

If a child has strong organizational skills, he can become a leader.

Such individuals are not afraid of responsibility, the volitional sphere of such children is sufficiently developed already at school age. Everyone does not always love a child leader, but, despite this, they listen to him, respect him and, to some extent, even fear him.

In any society, including the school class, people are divided into several groups, each of which has its own leader. Despite this, there is an overall leader who is the main one in the class. Such a child can influence the opinion of the majority without making any special effort.

A child leader should receive support not only from classmates, but also from parents and teachers. Such confirmation of recognition from the elders stimulates the child to strive to develop further.

Despite the mass of positive and positive aspects, there are negative aspects and consequences in the leadership of the child.

It must be understood that the leader in the class is constantly in some kind of psychological stress. He is afraid to stumble, because even the slightest mistake or oversight can shake his status.
Parents should understand that the child-leader is having a hard time, and their support is the key to the success and peace of mind of the student.
Parents should also explain that it is not necessary to depend on the opinion of everyone and everyone, the main thing is that his relatives and close friends support him, and that he should listen only to their opinion.

If both girls and boys at school want to be friends with your child, this is very good, because it is these individuals who have communicative abilities. Such children do not seek to offend anyone, but they will never let themselves be offended, they can stand up for themselves and for those who are weaker than them. It is by this behavior that leaders gain their authority and win over those around them.

When a child is loved by everyone around, he feels comfortable. Easily makes contact and goes to school with pleasure.

But here, too, there are some nuances - getting used to universal love, the leader is afraid to disappoint others and forgets about what he needs and what is important to him.

Parents should explain to the child that one cannot be good to everyone.

Family leader child

If your baby does not perceive your criticism from early childhood, makes decisions on his own and tries to be the first everywhere and in everything, perhaps a future leader is growing up in your family or you are raising your child incorrectly. “How to distinguish leadership qualities from the whims and uncontrollability of a child?” - find out right now.

Parents in such situations, first of all, need to acquire patience and learn to understand their "commander". Mom and dad should understand in what situations this or that saying or behavior of the child is acceptable, and where it is necessary to “chop off at the root”.

The innate qualities of a leader in a child can be manifested already in the first years of his life:

independent disposal of all toys
commanding voice at the table, on the street
independent organization of new games
involving other children in your communication and games

Parents quite often believe that leader children will necessarily be excellent students at school, but this is not always the case, because they are dominated by the desire to be the first not in learning, but in “conquering” others around them to their will, so parents should control the learning process, and don't let everything go by itself.

Parents should know some rules for dealing with a child leader in a family:

Do not immediately scold and punish the child for the fact that he "commands" at home or at school: this can awaken aggression and hatred for everyone in him. You need to learn to be loyal to your child. This does not mean at all that he needs to indulge in everything. Just show your respect for him and show interest in his actions, ideas, and then he himself will make many compromises, realizing that he is perceived as he is.
Talk to your child more often, teach him to share everything with you. Show that if in some situation he is wrong, you will not scold him for it, but simply explain how to do it right and why, then the child will begin to trust you and listen to you. Thus, parents will be able to control the child and guide him.
If there are several leaders in the family, there is no need to "eat" each other, it is better to combine their efforts and distribute the existing responsibilities. This will appeal to every leader.

The main thing is to understand your child, and convey to him with the right words and behavior that he may be wrong in some situations, and that he is not reproached, but prompted, then the child's leadership will be a pleasure for all family members.

Games for children to identify the leader

Every child loves to play, which is why the communication of parents with him should be in a playful way, then the child will better perceive all the information and advice presented to him. Let's talk about what games exist to identify leadership qualities in a child.

The first, most banal game, which is held in children's camps, kindergartens and schools - the leader, counselor or teacher asks, without conferring, a certain number of children to rise. It is worth noting that the leaders will always get up, no matter how many people are named.
The second competition-game is to ask the children to create some kind of geometric figure, holding hands. The leader will immediately begin to manage the process and put everyone in their places.
Game "Build a house". An adult invites children to build a house from improvised materials, and gives a certain amount of time for this process. The child leader does not immediately rush to build a house, but thinks about who and what will do so that the work is coordinated and that the group invests in the specified time.

You can come up with a lot of such games, their subject matter can be very diverse. In principle, no matter what the game is, the leader can be seen in it with the naked eye, he tries to lead, rally those around him, and involve everyone in the process.

In order to raise a child to be a leader, it is not necessary to be a tyrant and follow his every move. The main thing is to communicate with your child, study him, become his friend and mentor, and then a leader will grow in your family who will achieve a lot in the future and thank you for your support and understanding.

Video: How to raise a leader from a child?

Raising a child leader is becoming fashionable in our time. Adults who are already well over thirty often envy modern teenagers, because they were brought up in a completely different manner: at that time, obedient and diligent children were “in trend”. Active, mischievous, wayward children were ridiculed in school wall newspapers, they were laughed at, they were condemned by their peers and teachers. A modern child at the age of ten is capable of more than other adults who were goodies at that age - to the delight of their parents.

However, some parents do not understand the upbringing of a leader child quite correctly. In their opinion, a child should, as they say, go over their heads - push their peers aside, humiliate the weaker and less capable, and prove their superiority by force. In fact, such a "leader" will make a repulsive impression. The true task of a leader is to captivate, to be an authority (not in the criminal sense, of course!), to set an example by their behavior. And before leading the team, the leader must deal with himself.

What should be taught to the future leader?

The leader must draw attention to himself. And first of all, for this you need to learn how to speak well. Many politicians, including domestic ones, gained popularity solely by the ability to speak, to convince the public. In the modern world, and not only in the modern world, not only what a person does, but also how he presents himself is important. In advanced cases, it doesn’t matter at all who you are, the main thing is who you seem to be. But such cases should not be cited as an example for a child.

It is good in this connection to tell the child about Demosthenes. This ancient Greek orator, who quickly became famous, was very shy in his early years, had a weak voice and stuttered. He did not know how to speak beautifully and, in fact, few people were interested. But over the years of intense training, he corrected his speech defects, developed a loud voice and mastered oratory, as a result of which he became a real folk leader.

This story teaches not only the importance of speech, but also that you should work on your appearance in general: take care of your clothes, follow the rules of hygiene, etc. Any action should be the object of attention.

A true leader is not afraid of responsibility. He is the first among equals, and the whole team is judged by him (for example, about his class). However, it should not dominate the leader: it is very interesting to be the head of the class, the leader of a friendly team or the captain of the school football team.

The leader is the one to whom the other members of the group constantly turn for help, from whom they expect the decisive word, from which they take an example. To be able to solve the problems of the team is an important property of the leader, which cannot be neglected in any way: after all, this is the only way to maintain leadership. What did they do with presumptuous rulers, tyrants and dictators? They were overthrown and destroyed. And vice versa - the rulers who supported their people enjoyed mutual support, they stayed in power the longest, they were forgiven for some mistakes. The same thing happens, for example, in a school class: students prefer to follow someone who can support or console everyone, and they will turn the gates to the impudent and capricious. The team is still stronger than one person, and whoever wants to hold it in their hands must be of some use to everyone.

A leader does not have to do well in all subjects. It is enough to be good at some, and also to have some hobbies, so that with their help you can captivate people. The main thing is to “ignite” the audience with your passion, enthusiasm and excellent results, even in one activity.

Why - business, political, creative, scientific, sports - are most often done by three students? Because the excellent students are “sprayed” on all subjects and as a result are not able to understand any of them at the “above standard” level; in addition, "nerds" break away from the team and its urgent needs, they are often unsociable, have too high an opinion of themselves. And C students learn the main subjects at the average level, plus some - at the "exceptional" level, with their help they attract attention to themselves.

Leadership qualities are not necessarily associated with constant success: you need to be able to lose. Don't blame your child for failures.

A failed child can evaluate his actions, figure out where he went wrong, and succeed in the future or help someone else achieve it. But this is only if you do not scold him for mistakes. A child should not be afraid of failures, because they are the basis of all knowledge: literally all of us make mistakes. Moreover, it is known that people with “innate abilities” are less likely to succeed in professions corresponding to these abilities than those who did not have any “talents” and learned everything in practice - by trial and error.

Therefore, if the child could not tell the given poem, he needs to be encouraged and consoled, he should be convinced that next time he will do it well. So we set it up for and self-improvement.

Must accept general rules of conduct. No wonder the saying goes - to lead people, you must follow them.

There is one more thing: they don’t go to someone else’s monastery with their charter. Infiltrating the team, any newcomer will initially be subordinate, even if he immediately attracted someone's attention. Respect for generally accepted rules is respect for all members of the team, and without this respect it is impossible to become a real leader. By maintaining the general rules, you can quickly become “one of your own” in the team, and this is also an important step towards leadership: the public will never trust a suspicious stranger.

And most importantly: a true leader is an independent person, accustomed to achieving everything himself.

Freedom of action is something that many of our children lack. After all, it is traditionally believed that a child is a dependent being and in need of comprehensive care. Of course, in the earliest years, constant care is more or less justified, because the baby does not even know how to walk independently. However, as he grows older, he experiences an increasing need for independent actions. If it is not satisfied, the need disappears and is replaced by complete dependence on others, primarily parents. "Mama's boy" in no case will grow up as a leader, because by nature he is used to obeying. It can only be a zealous executor of the parental will, but not a leader or authority.

It is curious that the concept of "child" has changed its meaning over time. In ancient times and in the Middle Ages, a person of 12-13 years old was considered quite an adult; he had the right to marry, he could rule a city or a state, command an army, etc. In those days, people were much more independent in their thinking, despite the dominance of religious ideology. Nowadays, international law officially considers a person under the age of 21 to be a child, although certain “adult” rights are available from the age of 14: in some countries, from this age it is allowed to marry, drive a car, purchase real estate and get a job, in our country a passport is issued . And if unofficially, then “in everyday life” a child is often considered a person under 30 years old, or even higher. So, in organizations, an elderly boss ignores the opinion of a “young” 30-year-old employee, since he has not yet “grown up”. The “eternal child” has also become popular as a type of personality that, right up to old age, has fun, plays and has a romantically naive character. Aphorisms like: "The first forty years of childhood are the most difficult for a boy" became commonplace.

All of this is rooted in education. Children who are not accustomed to independence are simply afraid to perform independent actions, and if they do, they do it awkwardly, unsuccessfully and quickly become disillusioned with "adult" life. It is clear that in adult life such people are very rarely leaders, leaders, and even "ringleaders" in a friendly company.

How to teach a child to be independent?

First, he should spend as much time as possible outside the home, away from his parents. Kindergarten, sandbox, friends in the yard - in all these situations, the child is faced with an unfamiliar society and environment in which he has to learn to navigate. Success in such an environment depends only on his own actions, therefore, leadership qualities are best formed in it. From time to time it is necessary to change the environment - to transfer the child to another kindergarten, to take him to another park or another sandbox; he quickly gets used to the same situation, and the ability to act independently decreases.

Over time, the kindergarten and the sandbox are replaced by a school, as well as children's sports sections, creative circles and clubs. You should consult with the child and push him to determine what he wants more and, most importantly, how he can realize it himself. He can choose interests and hobbies for himself only, in no case with the help of his mother, grandmother or older brother; and only he himself can choose a circle or section.

Leadership and Economics

Such “global” phenomena as the success of the country in the economy are also associated with the upbringing of children-leaders. If the inhabitants of the country are accustomed to leadership and independence from a young age, then in the future we can expect the emergence of a generation of responsible organizers, entrepreneurs, and leaders.

Why are the countries of Western Europe and Southeast Asia considered exemplary in economic and political terms?

It's simple: traditionally Europe is characterized by the upbringing of children-leaders, who in the future "will not disgrace the honor of the family." Often, at the onset of the age of 21, parents expel their children from home: they themselves have to rent an apartment, look for work, organize their life, find a girlfriend, etc. They try to prepare children for such an event in advance, and a child who has learned to show independence early will not disappear in the future. Of course, this principle is not observed everywhere and not always in the West, but the general tradition is just that.
Such strictness is uncharacteristic for Asian societies, where they try to take care of the child in all possible ways. However, the economic system of these countries is such that a child in a family is, first of all, a worker, a guarantee of the future prosperity of the family. More children means more workers. Therefore, while showing strong concern for children, in China, Korea and other countries, they are trying at the same time to instill in them a love of independence. After all, a boy in a family is a potential father of the family, which means he is the head and leader. An extensive network of social ties, characteristic of Asian society, significantly expands the concept of "family": here are numerous close and distant relatives, acquaintances, colleagues at work and study, superiors and subordinates, the government, spiritual mentors ... And it is necessary to strive to become the head of all this the public - it will be better for her. The "Eastern" model of leadership is in many ways as effective as the "Western" one.
But the countries of Latin America were and remain outsiders. A long-standing national tradition plays an important role in this: children under 30 often live with their parents in order to survive economic difficulties, crisis, unemployment; such behavior is invariably welcomed by society. The same is true in countries such as Greece and Spain - the poorest and "backward" countries in Europe. There, such a phenomenon as NEET, or “no-no generation” has formed: these are young people under 30 years old (or even older) who live with their parents, do not work, do not study and do not start a family. In these countries, analysts say that the “no-no generation” has a detrimental effect on economic development: people who grew up in such conditions are incapable of any serious independent action, do not have work or scientific qualifications, and do not have leadership qualities for holding responsible positions. It is in the tradition of the Mediterranean and Latin American countries to overprotect children and not give them the opportunity to act independently. Recently, this tradition has migrated to Western Europe, which also had a negative impact on the development of this region. A similar phenomenon - "hikikomori" - takes place in Japan. The constant calamities experienced by Greece or Spain are characteristic of our country as well. Leadership and independence in the USSR and today's Russia are condemned and ridiculed when raising children, and in the future this principle is transferred to adulthood. “The initiative is punishable” - this expression has become a universal formula for life in our country for many years. This is how the habit of obeying and pleasing is formed, and all kinds of swindlers, criminals and foreign agents who are above the law and traditions and therefore “know the truth” invariably take leadership over the “herd”.

Therefore, the upbringing of child leaders will benefit not only the children themselves, but also the country as a whole.

Psychologist Anastasia Ponomarenko will give some practical advice on how to bring up leadership qualities in a child.

Leadership potential begins to form in early childhood. After all, leadership is, first of all, certain behavioral reactions. We learn how to respond from infancy by observing the attitude of our loved ones to our actions. Remembering what we are praised for, when we are scolded, in what cases we are helped, we form a “dynamic stereotype”, as I.P. Pavlov. In other words, the habit of responding to certain circumstances.

That is why, in the same situations, someone starts to panic, and someone takes responsibility .

Of course, every parent wants the child to grow up as a “big man”, to become a leader. They save up money for education, try to help with connections. It `s naturally. However, without knowing it, by their mode of action, they unwittingly clip the wings of their own children, preventing them from taking off. What should I do to avoid this error?

Read also:

1. Let your child get their own bumps. As children, potential leaders must have experienced falling off bicycles, fights with peers, broken noses and knees. They should not be afraid to cope with their own problems, to overcome their own childhood difficulties. If you immediately get involved in the situation, stand up for defense, worry neurotically about abrasions, deal with the offenders' parents, then shift the solution of your own problems onto someone else's shoulders will become a habit . And if a person is not able to take responsibility for the consequences of his own actions, then he will not be able to answer for the actions of others. How, then, can he be entrusted with a great deal?

2. Develop intelligence and critical thinking. A large amount of knowledge and the ability to analyze and draw conclusions are, as they say in Odessa, two big differences.

The leader is able to analyze events, see cause-and-effect relationships and make correct predictions. This is possible only with a sufficiently developed intellect.

This is not reading Murakami at 7 years old. And don't count to 100 in 3 years. Developed intelligence is the ability to analyze, systematize information, the ability to draw conclusions. Ask your child more often questions like: “Why do some chickens lay white eggs and others brown?”, “Why are chamomile petals white and buttercup yellow, because these are two flowers?”. It doesn't matter if the answer is correct or not. The main thing, the child learns to analyze, think .

3. Let the child take part in competitions from childhood. The future leader must be able to lose. Now a lot of competitions are held, where each participant receives prizes - "audience sympathy", "for the best costume" and so on. Children get used to the fact that they will receive a prize anyway, and take it for granted. But that's not the case in adulthood. In adult life, there are not enough prizes for everyone, and the first serious loss, without a consoling candy, is perceived as a tragedy. A person may recover for a long time after an “undeserved” blow, or may not be able to cope and go, for example, into alcohol addiction. So let's get involved real competitions where there are losers and winners.

4. The future leader must have a personal area of responsibility. He must know that no one will insure him, he is completely responsible for the result . And, if he did not go to the bakery, then the whole family will have dinner without bread. Mom will not run to the store at the last moment, dad will not stop by on the way home. No bread - you're to blame. Fix it. And point.

5. Never offer a child ready-made solutions. If your child came to you with his problem, then your first question should be: “ And what do you think?". “I don't know” should not be accepted under any circumstances. Let him look for a solution. It doesn't matter if it's correct or not. The child should have it. And then you will discuss together how to do better, how to do it right.

And, of course, the child should know that all your family will protect if needed. He will not prevent a blow, will not fight instead of him, will not rush to solve the problem before it comes. Namely, it will protect when there are no more forces left, and when it seems that a catastrophe is coming. It is this confidence that allows a person not to be afraid, to act.

By the way, many leaders turned to relatives or friends for help in difficult moments of life. But at the same time, they still remained leaders - thinking, courageous, leading.

When a child is born, the parents are responsible for caring for him - the daily routine, feeding, bathing, walking, visiting the clinic, the first acquaintance with the outside world. Mothers want their children to gain weight well, suffer less from colic and teething, not catch colds and be active. As time goes by, the nature of caring for a child changes. You begin to teach him letters and numbers, introduce him to fairy tales, music, theater, and send him to early development groups. The development of the moral and spiritual qualities of a person is already beginning to come to the fore.

From a certain age, the upbringing of a child moves to a new plan - parents participate in the development of his personality

Parents who think about the future of their child usually see detailed pictures of what he will work with, what kind of family he will create, what qualities will prevail in his character. To imagine a child weak and irresponsible, running errands for strong and strong-willed peers, is the worst nightmare of any inspired mother, especially when it comes to a boy. How to develop leadership qualities in a child? How to grow a strong-willed, strong, but kind and compassionate personality? What mistakes should be avoided so that later your son or daughter does not suffer from their own shyness and passivity?

Let's start with the family

Probably, many parents who are fond of psychology have come across different opinions - whether children become leaders in the process of psychological development or are already born with a programmed set of qualities that determine leadership. Modern psychologists believe that the moral portrait of a person depends on 40 percent of the genetic predisposition, 60 percent - on education. It turns out that the example of parents and psychological development have a greater influence than physiology. Can a leader grow from losers? Most often not. Although there are times when a child, dissatisfied with living conditions, constrained and frightened by his peers, grows into a tough leader, striving not to repeat the mistakes of his parents and to get what his childhood lacked.

Usually leaders appear in families where prosperity, love and mutual understanding reign, as well as in parents who themselves have reached certain heights in life and are trying to instill their own leadership qualities in the baby.

Parents with the same qualities are capable of raising a child leader

We speak correctly

Very often, you can hear insulting phrases from parents addressed to the baby, released not because the parents do not love him, but because they are annoyed or tired after work. Parents themselves often program a loser in a child, saying: “How tired I am of you!”, “When will you finally grow wiser?”, “Don’t talk, but do what they say!”. A mother can call a baby who is naughty or unable to cope with something “stupid”, “fool”, “lazy”.

Is your son scared of the dog? Then he is a coward. Did your daughter cry because she dropped a doll in the mud? So, she is a “crybaby” or a “roar-cow”. Thrown with rudeness, dislike, offensive nicknames hurt the child no less than teasing peers in the garden or school, friends in the yard. The main requirement for parents is to watch your own emotions and speech. In your own words, you program the future failures of the child, his passivity, shyness and self-doubt. Praise the child more, say that he will succeed, he just needs to try a little. Instill love for work, respect for talent.

We pay attention

Many parents complain that they do not have enough time to communicate with their child. It is difficult to blame a working mother for this, who needs to have time to partially provide for her family, and clean the house, cook food, and follow how homework is done. In this regard, it is easier when the mother sits at home, and only the father earns money and makes a career. This happens infrequently, especially if the family is incomplete.

It happens that due to their own troubles, parents cannot devote enough time to the child.

Employment is not the reason for the lack of upbringing of a son or daughter and the lack of understanding between the older and younger generations. Talk to your child: let it be a few minutes on the way to school or kindergarten, in the kitchen while you cook soup, or before bed. Discuss your child's problems every day. Find at least 20 minutes to play his favorite game with him, watch a new drawing, listen to a song you like, or watch a cartoon together.

It is important for a kid that you share his interests, praise him, and not just buy fashionable toys, modern mobile phones and tablets. A wonderful tradition is reading with mom before bed. Even if the baby himself has been able to read for a long time, buy periodically interesting books with pictures and read aloud before the child falls asleep. Parental voice, intonation, energy will remain with the baby during the hours of sleep, and he will be closer to you during wakefulness.

Leading or naughty?

Is it always possible for a mother who wants to cultivate leadership qualities in her child to distinguish real leadership from ordinary children's whims and aggression? Of course not. It happens that a mother sighs tenderly and says: “Yes, he is a real leader,” when the son commands a gang of young children, taking all their toys and sweets into his hands. “He's just a leader,” a father justifies his aggressive son on the playground when he takes a toy from a crying toddler. In fact, this is not leadership, but bad manners, childish aggression, dictatorship and whims.

You need to be able to distinguish between the manifestation of leadership qualities and the usual capriciousness

The child just wants to have everything that is within his reach. There is a share of leadership in this, because he shows willpower and suppresses the desires of children, but this is done to the detriment of another person - we can call the phenomenon “pseudo-leadership”.

A leader is a person who enjoys authority in a certain society, whether it is a kindergarten or a school. A leader is never untalented, he knows how and when to show his talents and abilities. Peers respect him not for his dictatorial qualities, but for his willpower, abilities, resourcefulness and ingenuity. Child leaders often manipulate their followers, so they can easily turn into dictators. It is the business of parents to prevent their son or daughter from spoiling their character. His leadership must be balanced in the family and other areas of life, the baby must understand that he is not perfect and has no right to manipulate anyone.

How to educate a leader in a student?

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Most often, the question “how to educate leadership in your child?” parents of elementary school students are asked when relations in the team are just being formed, children begin to live like adults, taking responsibility for their actions, being active, learning and discovering their strengths and weaknesses. The teacher plays a big role in this.
Give your little one the opportunity to be active. It is good if the teacher devotes hours of teaching not only to capital letters and mathematics, but also to getting to know the children, drawing on free topics. To give the child the opportunity to talk about his talent or try to find it is the task of the elementary school teacher.
It happens that the teacher does not even know that the child freely reads books in whole chapters or sculpts unique figures from plasticine, sings well or knows how to cook pancakes.

Parents and the school need to try to identify the unique talent of the child, direct their efforts to its development
Leadership Development Tips:
Teach your child to set clear goals and develop a plan. In this, the main assistant is mom or dad. This will help the baby become purposeful and develop willpower.
Develop the moral side of the little man. Show mercy and kindness yourself, instill in your child the concept that this is the norm of life. Loving animals and helping those in need, doing charity work, sharing toys and sweets is normal.
Pay attention to the spiritual. Take your child to the theater and exhibitions, develop his talents. Religious education, although in the present years the society is significantly secularized, is not superfluous.
Teach your child to take responsibility for themselves, not to lie and not to shift the blame on others. The main trait of a leader is willpower and mental strength.

You can also determine the leadership of the baby during the game. Psychological game "Adaptation":
Divide several people into two teams. A school class can play, just a group of friends. One team will receive red tokens - these will be those who give orders. The other will receive yellow tokens - those who will carry out orders.
The team with red tokens is determined after the warm-up. Task - the child must introduce his neighbor on the right to those around him, after talking with him for a couple of minutes. Bright personalities are endowed with red tokens. The rest get yellow.
A microgroup is formed around each leader. The task is to draw a friendly cartoon, the idea is given by the leader, the owners of yellow tokens draw it.
Finished cartoons should fall into different groups. The task is to come up with a funny caption under the picture.
The task of "three D": "for each other." Microgroups give each other tasks.
The final task, one for all groups from the leader of the game.

Psychological games improve team relationships and help identify leaders
Speed game "Start!":
First task. A group of children should shout the word “Start!” in an organized and quick manner. Which group completes the task faster and more harmoniously - that one won. In execution, the most active child is found.
Second task. Starting position - children sit on chairs or on the ground. A group of children should quickly get up on the command “Start!”.
The third task is "Flight to Mars". In the group, you need to distribute the roles of the captain, navigator, mechanic, passengers and "hare".
The fourth task. Crews flew to Mars. We need to distribute ourselves in the Martian hotels. Rooms in hotels of different capacity - from triple to single. The child who finds himself in the process of playing in a single room is either a leader or an outcast.

mini games
Family photography game
the guys should position themselves in such a way as if they are preparing for a family photo;
a "photographer" is chosen - a leader who will seat everyone, assign the roles of "grandfather", "grandmother", "mother", "dad", etc.

Models for a family photo must obey the "photographer" leader
Birthday game:
It is proposed to a group of kids to write on a piece of paper who everyone would invite to their birthday party, and no more than 3 people.
A few people who turn out to be the most popular of the invitees become "birthday boys".
"Birthdays" invite all the guys to visit. The children, in turn, choose who they want to visit.

Helping your child become a leader
How to help your child develop early leadership qualities:
Entrust your child to carry his own toy, water bottle or purse during the walk;
go to the playground - invite the baby to remember the way himself;
if there are unfamiliar children on the site, invite your child to come up and get to know each other, not forgetting the norms of politeness;
talk to the baby like an adult, use fewer diminutives, call everything clearly;
often ask your child: “What do you think?”, consult with him;
do not laugh at children's desires and naive questions of the baby.

It is important for the parent to sometimes consult with the child and listen to his opinion.
The main thing is to grow a harmonious personality, teach a child to respect others and show their best qualities. Develop the innate talents of a person, you should not take a naturally excellent artist to a music school, and a vocalist to choreography lessons. Sincerely trust your child, love him, observe measure and reasonableness in everything, help him become what he wants.